College Confidential
by Laragh
Summary: Before proposals and FBI jobs, before being wives and parents… how did Confidential!verse Willow and Tara come to be? prequel to Hacker and Family Confidential
1. Chapter 1

_TITLE:_College Confidential

_AUTHOR:_Laragh

_CHAPTER RATING:_PG-13 (will become NC-17 as the story progresses!)

_DISCLAIMER:_Willow, Tara and any other characters from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer franchise belong to Joss Whedon, FOX, ME and a whole host of other entities, none of which are me.

_SUMMARY:_ Before proposals and FBI jobs, before being wives and parents… how did Confidential!verse Willow and Tara come to be? (prequel to Hacker and FamilyConfidential)

_SPOILERS:_Perhaps minor references to the show or stealage of dialogue, but nothing that would spoil the series.

_FEEDBACK:_Yes please

_AUTHOR'S NOTE:_I almost didn't make it, but just skirting in at the end of June! So, it's prequel time and as those familiar with Confidential!verse will know, there's a period of just over four years to cover coming up to the start of Hacker.

I'm not sure how I will ultimately cover this time, but it's likely not going to be in a direct manner, since holidays, birthdays etc. would probably get repetitive. What will probably happen is a mix of middle-length stories, short stories, and one-shots all contained within this one story thread, time-jumping around and showing their important moments.

I'm using the flashbacks I had in Hacker throughout the story, but I'll flesh them out a little so they may appear changed (though the actual content will stay the same). Oh and my standard disclaimer, this will be fluffy and mushy and cheesy and all those things, so if you like a bit of drama in your reading, my fics will never be for you.

I hope you'll stay along for this potentially disastrous but hopefully fun ride, and as always, thanks for reading :)

[Also, Boston College is the established setting, and I'll do my best to keep it as accurate as the internet will allow me, but certain things, like Tara doing a degree in Social Work, which isn't available there, will just need a little suspension of disbelief. Shouldn't take from the story too much:)]

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_**GREAT BIG HONKIN' NOTE ADDED FEB '13**_

I've recently gone back and edited most of my fics to change Tara to what I believe is her rightful brunette. This took a long time, and none were anywhere near as long as this were almost 1200 'blondes' I would have had to manually change. Therefore, she remains blonde here. I plan on changing that in-series at a later date and hope it doesn't annoy anyone too much.

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**College Confidential**

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**Part 1**

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Tara walked across campus quickly, holding her books to her chest with one hand while the other grasped onto the large latte she was taking steady sips from. It was her weekly treat to get a take-out coffee and while she normally indulged herself on a weekend, she needed it that morning to try and wake up. She was rushing along the path on the way to her early-morning class, though the chilly air was helping more than the coffee in tricking her brain into functioning.

She had been living in Boston for two years, having moved from New York State when she graduated high school. She was half way through her bachelor's degree in social work and enjoyed her college life, certainly more than she ever had while in high school and living at 'home', but she still felt somewhat like an outsider in her surroundings.

She knew it was her own fault, never making an effort to join any college groups or meet anyone outside of her classes, but she sort of liked the isolation - people and social interaction had never been her strong suit. A lot of that was due to circumstance, but there was a large chunk that was just her too.

She wasn't overly shy and wasn't really opposed to having friends, but growing up, she hadn't been allowed to have friends over and so people at school had generally avoided her or picked on her for the clothes she wore or the way she talked, so she'd learned to like her own company.

Most of the human contact she received was from her family, which was fine up until she was ten and her mother died in a car accident. Then her father started drinking and started hitting her, so being alone – being away from him – was always the preferred option.

As well as that, she figured, if she focused on her studies, she could graduate to the full of her potential, make sure she got a job and never have to see her father again. Not that she'd ever go back there. She'd live on the streets before she willingly went back.

But on that particular Thursday morning, her thoughts were far from the life she escaped and were focused on the life she was working towards, which included attending her Sociological Statistics class. A class, which she determined with a quick glance down to her watch, she was definitely running late for.

She brought her coffee up to her mouth, intending to take a final sip before she had to take off running, but instead felt the shirt she was wearing covered in it. The warm liquid made it cling to her skin, but she didn't have a chance to process the uncomfortable sensation as something suddenly crashed against her front, causing her to stumble around.

* * *

Willow pushed her glasses up her nose to stop them from falling off as she scurried across the campus, intent on getting to the library as soon as it opened. She wanted first access to whatever books and resources were available for her independent study in her Introduction to Cognitive Neuroscience class, and no amount of reason could convince her that she wouldn't if she arrived even a second late.

Much to the annoyance of her roommate, Becky, she was an early-riser, a quality she had kept on from high school when she'd get up early to hang out in the school library before school. She always preferred the wall-to-wall books than the surroundings of her own lonely bedroom.

Her parents had never been around, so she never had to explain her whereabouts to them. They only seemed to care about her academics, so when she'd applied for colleges, they'd been delighted when she'd been accepted into Harvard, MIT and Princeton.

Willow, however, had fallen in love with the Boston College campus when she had visited during the tour around the country her parents had sent her on to decide - though they didn't know about the particular detour she took until she announced that it was where she'd had taken a place in.

The fact that it was as far away from her parents as possible was a bonus in her eyes; they may rarely have been around, but the time they did spend together was full of ridicule and belittling on their part - made worse by the fact that they, or her mother at least, seemed to deem that as 'affection'. Her father was warmer, but deferred to his wife enough that it didn't make a difference to Willow's upbringing.

She was also glad she'd been offered a full scholarship as her coming out hadn't gone down well and she'd been effectively cut-off until she 'renounced her ways', something she was never going to do.

Like a certain other person who happened to be on the same route as her that day, her thoughts too were far from what she'd left and on where she was going – the library. Which she had to get to. Quick.

She pulled out her cell phone to check the time but before she could even glance at the screen she found herself colliding with something, or rather someone, and promptly fell on her butt. The notebooks and collection of pens in her possession flew everywhere and her glasses slipped right down her nose again, though her instinct was to push them right back up, so luckily they weren't caught in the ambush.

She shook her head to get her bearings, then looked up, instantly going into panic mode when she saw she had walked straight into a girl – an absolutely gorgeous girl, she couldn't help but think as she jumped up and pulled a pack of tissues from her pocket.

"Oh god, I am so sorry, I am so, so sorry, are you okay? Clearly you're not okay, some lunatic just spilled coffee all over your pretty shirt," Willow said, barely taking breaths between words as she dabbed at the blonde's t-shirt with her tissues, suddenly realizing what she was doing, "And I really shouldn't be touching you like this, I'm so sorry, I'll pay for dry-cleaning and get you a new coffee, as many coffees as you like and, and a muffin or whatever baked goodness you desire."

Tara knew she should be concerned about the slowly-diminishing burning sensation of the coffee on her chest. She knew she should be concerned about her ruined shirt, or the fact that she would definitely be late for her class, or that a strange woman was touching very close to her breasts. But she couldn't quite bring herself to care because at that moment she looking into the most beautiful face with the greenest eyes she had ever seen.

Those green eyes suddenly locked with hers and Willow inhaled softly, cutting off the babble.

Both felt like something had just changed for them, that something special had somehow happened.

"I'm, I'm Willow by the way. Willow Rosenberg," Willow squeaked out after a minute, "I'm so sorry about your shirt."

"It's okay," Tara replied, feeling her heart pounding in her chest, and the most sociable she ever had in her life - she just had to talk to this girl, "It'll wash out. And I'm Tara Maclay. It's nice to meet you."

Tara extended her free hand – the one that had been holding her coffee – and gulped when she felt a spark jolt through her as Willow took her hand and shook it firmly. A wave of confidence washed over her.

"So…that coffee?"

"Yes!" Willow replied, a little too overzealously, making her blush, "I mean, yes, coffee, I spilled your coffee so I'll buy you coffee. Um, I'm...I'm free now?"

Forgotten was all the morning of research she'd planned, all the notes she had been going to look over, the paper as a whole - gone from her mind. All she knew was that the most beautiful girl she'd even seen was standing in front of her and seemed willing to spend time with her – it was the first time in her life she'd ever felt something was more important than homework.

Tara too had let her class slip from her mind. A quiet thought pushed its way forward that she was now very late, she honestly couldn't care. Right then it didn't matter if she never attended a class again – there was no way she was going to pass up the opportunity to hang out with this Willow.

_That's the prettiest name I've ever heard._

"I-I'm free too," she managed to respond, offering a nervous but still adorably crooked smile.

Willow had to make a conscious effort not to let out a loud squeal and pointed behind herself with her thumb.

"The campus coffee shop is...you know, right around the corner."

"Yeah, I know," Tara replied easily, a remarkable feat given she only words she'd spoken to anyone in the past week was to give her coffee order, "That's where I got my coffee."

Willow blushed again, but it was from more than just embarrassment. It was the oddest feeling she'd ever experienced, but she swore she felt her heart lift when Tara smiled at her.

"Do you wanna...?"

Tara nodded in agreement and they started in the direction of the coffee shop. It was a short two minute walk around the corner, and while the trip was silent, it was also littered with sneaky glances until they arrived at the building, the place bustling with students looking for an early morning caffeine-fix.

Willow spotted a free circular table with a stool either side near the left-hand side window and quickly walked over, putting her books on the table, thus claiming it. Tara followed her and sat on the stool opposite, letting her own books rest beside the other ones as Willow motioned towards the counter.

"Triple Latte with vanilla syrup, right?"

Tara's eyebrows shot up and Willow inhaled sharply, her hands moving in front of her to gesture wildly.

"I'm not like a really weird creepy stalker person or anything, I just read the little letters on your coffee cup when I spilled it and I'm like an expert on all things coffee. Coffee and computers, those are my things. My roommate says she thinks I'm gonna become a millionaire 'cause I'll own some big software company and I'll invest in coffee industries 'cause I could single-handedly keep the trade alive, but I don't really think that's true, I mean, I drink a lot, but you'd need to drink a lot of coffee to make yourself rich off an investment and you'd have to spend all the money on the coffee you were drinking anyway, so you probably wouldn't make anything at all, plus I really don't want to own a company, I know nothing about business and I don't think I'd do well in meetings 'cause when I get nervous I babble, kinda like I am right now, and I'd look silly and nobody would think I was good for representing the company and there'd be a mutiny and I'd be tossed out and lose all my money and all I'd have left would be the stocks in coffee and they're really probably no use to anyone..."

Willow trailed off and looked down dejectedly, clasping her hands together in front of her stomach.

_Great. If she wasn't already completely freaked out she will be now._

Tara stared for a moment before giving that half-smile again and a quiet, but warm and full laugh.

"You have very impressive breathing skills."

Willow looked up and after hiding a gasp when she felt that heart flutter again, smiled too.

_That wasn't a mocking laugh! I heard Cordelia's for so many years, I know laughs and that was not mocking!_

"I also have impressive 'making-an-ass-outta-yourself' skills," she replied, cheeks flushing and hands waving twitching nervously, but she was still smiling, "As you've just witnessed."

"I don't think you made an ass out of yourself," Tara replied with a sure shake of her head, "I think you made yourself looked super cute."

Both girls blushed bright red but Willow's smile got impossibly wide.

"Was that the right coffee order?" she asked after a moment, swinging her still clasped hands in front of her.

Tara nodded and reached into her pocket for her wallet, thinking she'd just have to make her budget stretch this week, but Willow started gesturing with her hands again.

"No, no way, I spilled yours, remember? I'll, um, I'll be back in one sec."

Willow rushed off and joined the queue for coffee, her hand moving to cover her hand in disbelief.

_No way am I about to buy coffee for the most gorgeous woman in the world. Is this a date? No, not a chance. A date requires asking...except I kinda did ask...but not for a date...could I ask her for a date? I just met her. What's the etiquette? What are the rules? I need to ask Becky. Would she even want to date me? She said I was cute...probably just being polite. God, I made an ass of myself, I don't care what she says. Stupid, Willow, stupid, stupid, stupid._

"Excuse me...ma'am...ma'am...look, do you want some coffee or not?!"

Willow was pulled from her self-deprecating thoughts by the sound of the exasperated man behind the counter snapping his fingers in her face and finally registered his words and the fact she'd reached the top of the queue.

"Uh, yeah..." she said, blinking a couple of times to gain her bearings, "Vanilla Triple Latte and a Mocha. And, um, a muffin."

The server looked at her, thoroughly annoyed.

"What kind?"

Willow scowled at the man, just to show her disdain for not getting 'service with a smile' before quickly glancing over her shoulder at where Tara was sitting, calmly looking out the window. Willow felt her lips curl into a smile just at the sight of the other girl until she noticed a movement out of the corner of her eye and jerked her head back around. She narrowed her eyes at the server whose hand was raised and fingers positioned as if he was about to snap them again.

"If you snap your fingers at me one more time, your manager will be getting a _very_ strongly worded letter, okay? And trust me, I've very good with words. Give me one of each."

The man looked suitably chastised and nodded, rushing off to put four different types of muffins into a small white paper bag and handed it over the counter.

"Thank you," Willow said with only a small hint of sarcasm.

She retrieved her wallet, giving the man a bill and taking the change back, pocketing it before the coffee cups were passed to her. She pondered how she was going to carry everything for a moment before taking the folded top of the paper bag between her teeth and holding one of the Styrofoam cups in each hand. She made her way back to the table, placing Tara's cup in front of her and took a hold of the bag, putting it between them as she swung herself onto her stool and smiled at her coffee companion.

"Sorry that took so long, the barista was all moody," she said before tearing the bag along the side so the muffins were revealed, "Um, I got muffins. I wasn't sure which you liked so I got one of each. There's, um...chocolate chip, blueberry, poppy-seed and...I think this is apple cinnamon."

"You didn't have to do that," Tara smiled, holding her coffee between both of her hands to warm them, "I like blueberry."

"Me too!" Willow replied enthusiastically, before tacking on shyly, "We could...we could share, if you wanted..."

Tara nodded and they shared a coy glance for a moment before Willow reached out to pull a small piece from the blueberry muffin, popping it into her mouth.

"Yummy," she said with a nervous smile, and Tara gave a small laugh.

"Good?" she asked.

Willow swallowed the chunk in her mouth and nodded too.

They both reached towards the muffin at the same time, their fingers inadvertently brushing against each other in the process. The two jolted, both feeling their heartbeats quicken as a rush of fire and electricity shot through them. Their eyes met and they searched each other, both thinking the exact same thing.

_Did she feel that?_

They both looked away shyly before either got an answer from the other's eyes and they shared the muffin quietly until Willow broke the quiet by slipping her glasses off and folded them, leaving them on top of her pile of books.

"You don't need those all the time?"

Tara voice was tinged with curiosity but felt her mouth go dry as Willow looked up and even more vibrant green eyes came into focus, now unclouded by the frames. She quickly took a long gulp of her coffee as Willow just smiled.

"No, I only wear them if I know I'm gonna be reading or concentrating for long periods of time. I get headaches otherwise."

Tara nodded, then her brow creased in confusion.

"Then why were you wearing them this morning?" she asked but saw Willow's eyes widen and realised why, "You had plans this morning. I'm sorry, you really didn't have to buy me coffee."

"No, really, I wanted to," Willow hastened to reassure, "I was just gonna hang in the library 'cause I don't have any classes this morning and I had nothing better to do. But this counts as 'something better to do' so...yeah."

Tara smiled shyly again.

"It does?"

"Yeah," Willow nodded with a matching smile, "I mean...making new friends is nice...right?"

Tara nodded back but her eyes looked saddened for just a moment.

_Friends. What were you expecting Tara? But she's right, friends would be nice. Friends would be very nice. Friends means I still get to look into those beautiful green eyes._

"Right. I'd like to have a friend," she eventually answered, "I haven't met many people since I came out here."

Willow shook her head in disbelief.

"That's not right. You're so nice, you must have lots of friends."

Tara gave a one-shouldered shrug. She didn't want to go into specifics of her lack of socialising pre-college, though she did feel some pride that she was holding a conversation well. She had to admit that Willow deserved a lot of that recognition - she was making it easy for them to just chat, a phenomenon she'd never understood too well but was thoroughly enjoying.

"Guess I'm just choosy," she replied eventually and saw Willow's smile falter, so quickly added, "I'd choose you."

Willow visibly brightened.

"To be your friend?"

_To be my everything._

Tara blinked in surprise of her own thought and quickly drank some coffee to mask the look on her face.

"Definitely. You seem like great friend material."

"Well, great," Willow beamed, before giving a definitive nod, "So, friends...know things about each other, right? Like...your major?"

"Social work," Tara replied, settling into the conversation, "Sophomore."

"I'm a sophomore too," Willow responded happily, "But psychology."

Tara got a curious look on her face.

"Psychology? That's pretty different from computers."

Willow blushed that Tara had remembered any part of her inane babble from earlier.

"I figured I had machines down, so why not try and learn about the mind?" she replied with a laugh, "I don't really think I'll ever settle into a job as a psychologist or anything but...I like learning about like, behaviour and things. Why people do what they do. Computers are so simple, you give it a command and it does it, no questions asked. People...aren't. So it's interesting."

Tara had a look on her face between smitten and impressed.

"That certainly seems like a good reason to declare a major."

Willow was pleased, feeling oddly gratified that this person she'd known for a half hour approved of her decisions.

"So social work? Do you want to be a social worker?"

"Uh huh," Tara replied with a smile that held a tinge of sadness, "I want to help kids. You know that are...kids who need help."

Willow saw the sadness of Tara's smile reach her eyes and without thinking, reached across the table to entwine their fingers, giving her hand a comforting squeeze. She jerked her hand back almost straight away when she realised what she was doing and looked down at the lid of her coffee cup.

"That's good. Wanting to help. The kids will be lucky to have you."

"Um, thanks," Tara replied, staring down at her hand in awe for a moment at how wonderful it had felt to have Willow's there, before snapping back to attention, "T-that means a lot."

Willow continued to stare down at her coffee cup, worried she had managed to mess up her new friendship already before becoming aware of eyes staring at her and looked up to see Tara softly smiling. Happy that she still seemed interested in talking to her, she decided to continue her inquiries.

"So, we'd be around the same age, huh? I'm 19."

Tara smiled a little wider in relief for the same reason, happy they were still talking.

"I'm 20. I was 20 on January 1st. New Year's baby."

"Cool!" Willow exclaimed, bouncing a little in her seat, "I'm 20 in April. Um...showery baby?"

"As in April showers?" Tara asked, laughing when Willow gave a shy nod, "That's a good one."

Willow shook her head slightly.

"Most people think my jokes are stupid."

Tara was the one to shake her head this time.

"I think they're funny."

"Oh," Willow replied with a smile, "Well then you can be my official joke tester-outer."

"Okay," Tara nodded with a grin, "All future humorous idioms go through me."

Willow giggled again, loving the way Tara talked and phrased things, but her glee was short-lived when she noticed her glancing down at her watch.

"Do you have to go?" she asked, trying not to convey her disappointment.

"Yes," Tara replied, not even trying to hide her own disappointment, but she knew there was no way she could miss her second class, "I'm sorry. I have an exam. And I, um, need to run up to my dorm to get changed."

She opted not to tell Willow about missing her first class and would have been quite willing to forgo this one too if it wasn't for the test that was scheduled.

"Your shirt!" Willow exclaimed in response, hands covering her mouth, "I got coffee all over it, I'm so sorry, I forgot."

"Willow, it's fine," Tara replied with a genuine smile, "I'm sure it'll wash out."

Willow blushed when Tara said her name – she wasn't sure how or why, but it sounded different coming from her lips. Soft and sweet and almost…pretty.

"No, I said I'd get it dry-cleaned and I will," she replied quickly with a definitive shake of her head, "If, um...you could meet me tomorrow, wearing a new shirt obviously, and with that shirt and I can take it and get it dry-cleaned and then bring it back to you. I mean, it's my fault, it's not fair for you to have to go out of your way to go to a dry-cleaners."

_And that would mean I get at least two more chances to see you. Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes..._

"Okay," Tara replied with a coy shyness, "If you insist."

"Great!" Willow replied, her smile stretching from ear-to-ear, "So tomorrow? To um, collect your shirt?"

"Sure," Tara nodded, eager to have a solid plan to see Willow again, "I just have one class in the morning."

"I'm free after two...so say, like, three?" Willow asked with keen enthusiasm, getting a nod in return, "Yes. Okay. Here? Outside?"

Tara downed the last of her coffee and stood up.

"I'll be here."

Willow beamed and nodded.

"Great. Wonderful. And, um, I'm really sorry again. About the coffee and everything."

Tara got a bashful smile on her face.

"I'd have a thousand coffees spilled over me if it meant I got to meet you," she replied softly before ducking her head in embarrassment and gathering her books, "Bye Willow."

Willow raised her hand in a wave and watched as Tara left the coffee shop and walked away. She kept an eye on her, definitely not noticing the way her hips swayed as she moved.

_Nope. Not looking at her ass at all. Definitely don't see that sway...or those curves..._

She blushed at her thoughts but allowed herself to have them until Tara was out of sight, then dropped her head onto her books, a dreamy smile on her face.

_This is the start of something magical._


	2. Chapter 2

Willow skipped down the hallway and into her dorm room, a massive smile still plastered to her face.

A smile that hadn't left her ever since she'd run in to Tara that morning.

**Boris Yeltsin** – Thanks!

**faolan228** – Hey! :) I'm super glad you're enjoying it! I have a few 'oh my babies!' moments myself while writing!

**Astron Soul** – Hey girl :) So happy you're excited for it! HA, I love the 'spill meet' too. Cheesy and corny, but hey, that's what I do! Hope you continue to enjoy it :)

**obscure999** – There is a lot of angst in fanfic, and hey, I think whatever floats your boat, but it was never for me. I just want them to be happy. Glad you're enjoying it :)

**gecoma** – I'M BACK! :D Woo and hoo for you enjoying it! I don't know where I'm going with this either so I guess we'll find out together :P

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Aww, yay for smiling! They won't skirt *too long*, I promise, I want them together too! And I promise plenty of cavities both before and after.

**CurlyAkemy** – Haha, I'm glad you think so too! Happy to be back :)

**WhatHurtsMeMost** – :D :D Lots of fluffiness! Hope you continue to enjoy :)

**wordsandchai **– Aww, thank you!

**Willowtarafan4life** – I did indeed start another story like this, my first one, Frothy Goodness. What can I say, I'm a creature of habit :P Hope you enjoy this one (and I'll try to keep the repetitiveness down :P)

**Willtara 4ever** – :D :D Thanks! I'm happy you like the verse and really hope this one is in keeping with that!

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**Just want to make a note here about their college; I've said it was Boston College already, which it is, but my depiction probably won't fall in line with the reality, because when I established their university I never intended on doing a prequel, so it was just a throwaway reference. It would probably be a good idea to think of 'Boston College' as a generic term rather than referencing the actual establishment (don't want to step on any toes!) :) Also, 'Hacker' was set kind of in real time, which sets this verse to start in Feb 2005. Happy 4th of July to my American readers!**

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Willow skipped down the hallway and into her dorm room, a massive smile still plastered to her face.

A smile that hadn't left her ever since she'd run in to Tara that morning.

She'd decided to forgo her study plans - a concept quite alien to her - for the day after Tara had left the coffeehouse, figuring there was no way she would be able to concentrate when all she could think about was her new friend.

She had wandered around the campus for a while before the weight of her books started to weigh her down and she decided to return to her room. She'd actually enjoyed the time just thinking about nothing in particular and had noted with interest that everything seemed brighter and lighter around her - which she attributed to taking the time to look and not rush around.

_Must be it...nothing else changed...'cept I met Tara...Tara...her name is so pretty. I wonder what it means. I should ask her. Tomorrow. When I get to see her again!_

She smiled at her roommate, Becky, who had been her roommate for as long as they'd been in college, as she entered her room and continued her skip-walk to her desk to drop off her books.

Becky was lying on her bed, knees up and laptop resting on them, idly typing away at something.

"I thought you'd be in the library all day," she commented without looking up.

"That's really bad for your posture," Willow replied, actually spinning over to her bed and sitting down with a bounce, "I didn't get to the library."

That seemed to be intriguing enough for Becky to glance away from her laptop.

"And why is that?"

Willow pursed her lips in an attempt for nonchalance.

"Just met a new friend is all."

Becky eyed her roommate curiously. She had gotten used to Willow's 'odd' behaviour and had come to learn how to decipher it, but there was something about her demeanour that was different to anything she'd seen in her friend before. She watched the way Willow rocked back and forth on the bed, keeping her hands linked under her knees and her feet kicking from under her.

Definitely 'giddy-Willow'. But with something extra, a gleam in her eye.

It only took her a second to reconcile what she was seeing with what she heard, and was fully at attention, laptop tossed down beside her, forgotten.

"A girl...friend?"

Willow almost jumped right up onto the bed, but busied herself by grabbing her pillow and squeezing it to her chest, chin resting on top.

"She is a girl, who is currently a friend, but is also a girl that I really, really want to be a girlfriend of the romantic variety because she is so very, very beautiful and she's funny and she's kind, she wants to be social worker so she can help kids and isn't that amazing? And I only talked to her for like an hour but I know she's fantastically wonderful but I think she just wants to be friends and I don't know what to do."

She hadn't quite meant for all of that to come out in one go, or to be so revealing in her affections, but apparently possessing feelings for someone did nothing to help her lack of control in articulation.

In fact it made it worse.

"So...yeah," she finished somewhat lamely, but figured if it was out there now maybe she could get some advice from her far more learned-in-matters-of-the-heart roommate, "What do I do?"

Becky sat up fully and turned to face Willow, a thoughtful look on her face. Her roommate having a crush was a Big Deal - and an as yet unexperienced one.

"Start from the beginning. Tell me everything."

Willow looked off a moment with a dreamy smile as she again thought about the person who had lit up her morning, before focusing again. She needed advice.

"Okay, so I was walking to the library, like I planned when I left here this morning-"

"Yeah, thanks for banging into your nightstand so loudly, by the way," Becky couldn't resist interrupting with a roll of her eyes, "You know I just love how early you like to wake up."

"Sarcasm not appreciated," Willow replied in a snipe, "And if you don't want to know..."

Becky held her hands out in front of her defensively.

"Okay, okay. Continue."

Willow closed her eyes, thoughts having been derailed for a moment, but it didn't help as her mind instantly flooded with thoughts of Tara again.

"She smells so wonderful..."

Becky cocked an eyebrow; she'd never heard Willow offer such a compliment about someone and had certainly never seen the smitten look on her face.

"I think you're skipping a little too far ahead..."

Willow quickly opened her eyes again and nodded.

"Right. Okay, so I was on my way to the library from here and I was carrying all my books in one, um, my left, hand and I used the other to pull my cell phone from my right pocket and check the time 'cause I didn't have my watch on, you know my normal watch, it has mickey mouse on it and his arms are the hands? I left it here this morning 'cause it kind of hurts when I lean on it too long and I figured I would be if I was writing lots of notes. So I have my phone in my hand, my right hand, and I look down, which, cue distraction from the path and next thing I know I'm on my butt and my books are everywhere, my pens too, and I look up and there's this... beautiful... stunning... just... perfect girl standing there... and her hair is all shining in the sun, making her look like an angel...she just took my breath away...but then I glanced down and kablamo! I'd spilled her coffee all over her shirt, which was really pretty and blue and kind of had a purple running through it, or maybe that was just from the coffee, but it looked darker anyway. So obviously, I started to panic and I jumped up and took a tissue I had in my right pocket with my cell phone and started trying to clean the coffee up and then I realised I was basically feeling her up so I-"

Becky stopped her roommate by holding up her hand when she realised she was taking the 'everything' thing to heart.

"When I said everything, I didn't mean _everything_. Not every tiny detail is necessary."

Willow blushed as she realised how pedantic she was being and cleared her throat.

"Okay. Sorry," she replied, nodding to herself to tell her brain to give the highlights, "So I spilled her coffee on her, and she was really sweet about it all. Didn't get mad or anything. And I told her that I would buy her a replacement coffee, and a muffin, you know, to say sorry. She said she was free right then. So, duh, I might be a complete dummy and super dork, but you don't say no when an angel tells you she wants to spend more time with you! Question her sanity, maybe, but you don't so no!"

"So you had coffee?" Becky prompted for her to continue.

Willow nodded.

"Uh huh, yeah. We went to the coffee shop, and I made my jackass #2 move by seeming like a stalker by knowing her coffee order-"

"Read it off her first cup?" Becky interjected in a guess.

"Yeah!" Willow replied, relieved not to have to explain, "And I told her the whole thing about your coffee corporation and me being head of theory, in full babble mode. Like expert level babble. But she didn't laugh, she smiled, this wonderful, adorable smile that only went up one side of her face. We had our coffees and we shared a muffin and talked, it was so easy. She laughed at my jokes and really listened to what I was saying and did I mention she smelled really good?"

Becky looked troubled a second, all too aware how unskilled Willow was in dating or possible dating etiquette.

"Uh, Will...you didn't sniff her, did you?"

"No!" Willow replied, a light flush rising in her cheeks, "She was just wearing a nice perfume and it...wafted over to me. It wafted, okay?!"

"Okay, jeez," Becky responded defensively, before grinning in delight at all that she'd heard, "Wow, you met a girl. My Willow met a girl. A real live girl, who I didn't even have to push you to meet!"

"I met a girl," Willow confirmed with a broad smile before it faltered, "But I don't know what it means. The prospect of a date was much easier when there were no actual feelings involved. Awkward, yes, but easier."

Becky rolled her eyes a little at that.

"You can't really know that. If you would just have let me set you up-"

"I did let you set me up, Becky!" Willow cut her friend of, quite loudly, "With a bunch of different girls-"

Becky eyed her as if to say 'are you serious?'.

"Two girls."

"And another one from my LGBT group!" Willow retorted, squirming in discomfort at the memory of those 'dates', "Doesn't matter, I never felt anything."

Becky shook her head, having always thought her roommate treated the idea of dating unreasonably.

"If you'd have just let them go past the first date-"

"Why, Becky?" Willow questioned, with a sure shake of her head, a lot surer then than it ever had been before, "It was a waste of time. And I know definitely now that it was a waste of time because I could've spent all the time in the world with those girls and not felt a thing. All I had to do was stare at Tara for one second and I felt like my heart was a piece of butter melting on toast."

"Tara?" Becky asked with a small smile, ignoring the odd metaphor and letting the ideals of her roommate's dating history go, "Nice name."

Willow seemed appeased again as she thought of Tara and clung to the pillow.

"Isn't it? It's so beautiful. Just like she is," she replied before falling back down onto her bed and sighing, "Becky, I don't know what to do! What do I do? You're supposed to be giving me advice!"

Becky folded her legs beneath herself, ready to take on the role of dating guru.

"Well you said you talked. Was it flirty?"

Willow contemplated the question and realised she had little idea what flirty dialogue would actually consist of.

"She called me cute... Super cute actually."

Becky gave an encouraging look.

"Well that's a good start. And you said she laughed at your jokes. She'd have to like you _a lot_for that."

Willow grabbed her pillow and flung it across the room in retaliation, but stayed focused.

"Do I ask her out? What if I do and she gets weirded out and never wants to see me again and – oh god, Becky, I don't even know if she's into girls! I just...I never even thought! Big gaymo here just assumes everyone is gay! She could have a boyfriend for all I know! Ugghh! Why is this so hard?!"

She covered her face with her hands and groaned loudly, annoyed that yet another possible impedance had presented itself. Becky was kind enough not to burden her roommate with some hackneyed phrase or stale adage about the difficulties of dating and relationships, opting to help her be positive.

"So ask her. Are you seeing her again?"

Willow nodded.

"Yeah. Tomorrow. I'm picking up her shirt to dry-clean, and I think she wants to hang out too. She said she wanted to be friends."

Becky clapped her hands together, as if the whole situation was resolved.

"Well there you go. It's normal for a friend to ask about relationships, she won't think it's weird. Scope her out, feel around, guess how she's feeling. Come on, Will, what the hell are you doing a psychology degree for if it's not to work out what people are thinking?"

Willow shook her head.

"There's a difference between working out the mechanisms of the broad human mind and figuring out whether the girl of my dreams wants to be the girl of my reality."

Becky looked surprised - it was a big enough deal that Willow would talk about someone in such a way, but she could tell that her roommate really meant it.

"Wow. You have it bad."

Willow sighed dramatically, some might say love-struck.

"If your heart skipping a beat, sweaty palms, weak knees, stomach flutters and not being able to think about anything else but how her eyes are the deepest blue I've ever seen and how I could spend days just staring into her soul constitutes having it bad, then yeah. I have it really, really bad."

* * *

"Hey! Tara! Hi!"

Tara spun around at the sound of her name being eagerly called and smiled when she saw Willow coming from the coffee shop she was standing in front of, a cup in each hand, one of which was thrust towards her.

"More coffee?" she asked with a smile, "You already got me a replacement."

"Friends buy friends coffee," Willow replied cheerily, then noticed the small plastic bag hanging from Tara's wrist and made a grab for it, "Is this your shirt? I'll have it back asap."

"Willow, you really don't have to get it dry-cleaned," Tara responded shyly, "I have good detergent."

"I'm sure you do," Willow rushed to reassure she didn't think Tara was less than capable of cleaning her own shirt, "But I want to. Please? It'd make me feel better."

Tara just smiled that crooked smile again that tuned Willow into a puddle.

"Okay. If you insist."

"I do," Willow replied resolutely before tacking on hopefully, "Did you wanna hang out? I mean, if you're not busy or made new plans?"

Tara's hands twisted around her coffee cup and she bounced just slightly up on her feet.

"I'd love to hang out."

"Great!" Willow beamed in delight, then looked over her shoulder, "I-it was pretty crowded in there. Noisy. There's, um...there's a big oak tree I study by sometimes. I know it's February and kinda chilly but it's nice and sunny...and we could talk."

She hoped she was appearing as aloof as she was intending and not making too big a deal out of wanting to talk - but she wanted to take Becky's advice and scope Tara out a little.

"We have warm coffee," Tara replied heartily in indication that she was okay with staying outside despite the nippy weather, "Lead the way."

Willow grinned in glee and almost grabbed Tara's hand to hold, only realising at the last second that that was not an appropriate 'friend' thing to do. She covered by pretending she was reaching for her cell and brought it out, acting like there was something interesting on the screen.

"Sorry. Just a reminder about a, um, study group I have...later, way later!" she chuckled nervously, internally kicking herself for her near faux-pas, "Um, so the tree. It's not far. This way..."

She pointed to the left of them and took a step in that direction, smiling when Tara followed in step.

"So did your exam go well yesterday?" she asked after a moment, deciding she could both 'scope out' and just have a nice conversation at the same time, "The one you were going to?"

"I was, um...kinda distracted," Tara answered honestly - her thoughts had been almost point for point the same as Willow's were about her over the past 30 hours, "But you know, it wasn't for my final grade or anything. I can make it up. College is...college."

"Lectures and notes," Willow agreed, pointing again when the large oak tree she'd been referencing came into view, "I never really went for the whole 'going wild, getting drunk and partying' side of college life. The grass is dry if you want to sit."

Tara found a soft patch of grass and settled down, folding her legs underneath herself. She left her cup in her lap and smiled softly.

"Me either. I'm not opposed to having fun, I just don't see the point if I can't remember it the next day. Plus that wouldn't really be my idea of...fun. I don't like drinking much."

She left out it was more the stench of booze that she'd grown to 'dislike' and the effects it had had on her father - though by choice she'd opted not to find out what the effects would be on a whole bar full of college students.

Willow sat opposite but stretched her legs out, then nodded in agreement.

"Can't say I've never had a drink...I've actually gotten drunk a few times," she admitted, almost shame-faced, "My roommate's big on the booze. I mean, not to serious, unhealthy levels or anything, but she likes to party. I've gone out with her a few times, mostly just when there were bands playing at the college bars and stuff, but I don't really gel too well with that side of things. She's my best friend and we get on great and I wouldn't change her for anything, we just have separate night lives, you know? She's beer and boys and I'm books and...well, not boys."

Tara nodded along as Willow spoke, still smiling at her. She didn't hold her father being an aggressive drunk against anyone else who wanted to drink, and she knew most people didn't wait until they were 'legal' to do so. She was appreciative that Willow didn't like to get drunk every night though - it left room to be able to hang out in the evenings.

More intriguing to her to her though, was Willow's last statement.

_Does that mean she's just not into relationships...or she's not into relationships with boys?_

Willow noticed Tara looking at her intently and blushed, unsure whether she'd revealed too much.

Tara realised she was making Willow uncomfortable and quickly looked away, but was unsure how to respond - did she acknowledge what had been said, or ignore it? What if she was picking it up wrong?

"I like to read too," she said eventually, opting to go for neutral ground, "A good storyline is all the stimulation I need."

Willow eagerly agreed with a nod and figured now was an opportunity for 'scoping'.

"So, what else do you do for fun?" she asked, taking a casual sip of her coffee, "Boyfriend?"

Tara shook her head, but her expression gave nothing away.

Willow waited a moment, hoping for some elaboration, but got nothing.

"Right," she continued, trying to think of a better way to ask 'do you get off the train at girls town' before deciding she was being far too convoluted and should revert back to normal conversation, "Watch any TV? I watch some stuff on my laptop. I like comedies, I love Will & Grace!"

"I've seen that a couple of times," Tara answered with a smile, "I really like cop shows too. I always try to guess who the killer is before they actually tell us. I'm never right."

"Me either. They're purposely sneaky...and not very factually accurate a lot of the time," Willow responded knowledgably, "So you like the CSI's and Law and Orders and all that? I always wondered why they had so many."

"I watch every now and then. At least when no one else is in the common room. I really like that Special Victims Unit, Law and Order one," she replied, tapping her fingers against her cup before adding on bashfully, "I kind of have a bit of a crush on the lead."

Willow was familiar with the show in question and saw her chance to answer the question she'd been trying to ask before.

"Christopher Meloni?" she asked nonchalantly, taking a long sip of her coffee right after to hide the anxious look on her face.

Tara shook her head again, but with her lips quirked up demurely on one side.

"No. The, um, lady."

Willow was so lost in Tara's smile that it took her a few seconds to register what had been said, but once she did, lit up like a light bulb and had to dig her heels into the ground to stop from jumping up to do a happy dance.

"That's cool. She's pretty," she managed to speak with a reservedness very much not indicative of how she was feeling on the inside, "So, I, um, guess that renders my question about the boyfriend pretty redundant...Girlfriend?"

Her voice betrayed her at the end by going up an octave or two.

"No," Tara shook her head, then moved a little closer to Willow without realising, "I've never...I just...I think you should meet someone and they should take your breath away. That's never happened to me."

_Until I met you._

"I know how you feel. I've been told I'm naïve," Willow replied with a wide smile that Tara thought the same as her, "Oh and um, just so you, ah, know, when I said not boys...I meant not boys. As in, yes girls."

Tara hid a grin of delight behind her cup until she composed herself.

"Really?"

"Uh huh," Willow nodded gleefully, thinking she caught a hint of that grin, "It's funny, huh? We must give off some kind of frequency."

"Maybe," Tara replied with a quiet laugh, before her face took on the same forced attempt at aloof that Willow had attempted earlier, "S-so have you got a girlfriend?"

Willow shook her head quickly.

"No. My roommate – her name's Becky by the way – she set me up on some dates with these girls in a few of her classes...and I was in an LGBT society freshman year, there was a girl there that asked me out. Not trying to seem all 'look, wow, all these girls wanna date me' or anything. And they never went past date on-, um, three," she embellished slightly, not wanting Tara to think she couldn't keep the interests of someone, "Actually, the same reason you said. I figured if you can't feel that...that spark, you know? Even if I didn't know what it was supposed to feel like, I knew that I didn't. Not fair to the other girls either. I want that breathless thing you said too, but never had it."

_Until you knocked me on my ass. I haven't been able to breathe since._

Tara listened as Willow spoke and found herself becoming more and more enamoured. She thought she possibly caught a longing glance at the end, a glance she knew she was guilty of herself and wondered if she could tell her friend that she had actually been struck breathless, with her.

Ask whether it was possible she'd caused the same reaction. She's caused something. She knew that much. Unfortunately her lack of experience in both friend- and relationships made her unsure of the dynamic between them, not to mention the fact they'd only spent a short amount of time together, even if that time had been wonderful.

She was aware of her emotions; she knew she was attracted to Willow, knew she would very much be interested in things beyond a friendship, even if friendship was more than she'd ever been given. What she didn't, and couldn't, know was Willow's feelings, and figured this was something she herself wouldn't be able to take a lead in.

She could be her friend and see if anything stemmed from that.

_Time, Tara, give it time. It's not like you would pounce over and kiss her right this second. Just talk. Get to know her._

Happier at sorting her thoughts a little, she relaxed her shoulders and smiled.

"So you were part of the LGBT society? Are you in any other clubs"

"Just for freshman year," Willow answered, confident she'd gotten some valuable information and could take a break and just let herself enjoy the afternoon, "I was part of the computer club and the book club too."

"Was?" Tara asked curiously, "Not anymore?"

Willow shook her head.

"Nah. The computer club just talked about things I already knew about and the book club weren't into the same books I was, so I left those pretty quick. I stayed in the LGBT club for my whole freshman year, they were really great when I came out to my parents and it didn't go so well, but I wasn't that into it this year. I wanted to keep up with my studies, and with the failed date…the girl was nice but kinda pissy that I 'blew her off'. I tried to explain everything I said to you but...well, you know. It was awkward."

Tara nodded understandingly.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I never joined any clubs at all, so committing to one for any amount of time is an achievement in my book," she replied warmly, before her eyes creased in sympathy, "I'm sorry your coming out didn't go so well. Are things better now?"

Willow shook her head, but didn't seem too cut up about it.

"It's okay. I don't know what I expected really. I mean, I just made the one phone call, got an earful about letting them down and my religion down, though I always thought that seemed like more of a front, 'cause they never had any issue with gay people until it was me. It was a rough call...they said I wasn't their daughter any more. Not nice to hear. But at least it wasn't drawn out."

Tara felt her heart sink for her friend.

"Willow, that's terrible. I'm so sorry."

Willow just shrugged.

"Yeah, it sucked at the time, but I've had like...a year to come to terms with it. We were never particularly close anyway. It's fine, really, Tara," she replied when she saw the look on Tara's face, "Honestly. If they're ever a part of my life again, then...well, cool. But if they're not, I accept that too. It's their choice."

Tara could only offer a comforting smile.

"You're really strong."

Willow felt a sense of pride that Tara viewed her in such a way and smiled back.

"So your coming out went a bit better then?"

Tara was completely taken aback by the question, not having registered in her mind that a discussion about families would be turned back on her. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, before she managed to rein herself in and cleared her throat.

"W-well, I never really came out to my parents. I don't...I don't speak to my Dad. I guess we have that in common. And my..." she trailed off, sad, "My Mom died when I was 10."

Willow's features softened and she scooted over to give Tara's shoulder a squeeze.

"That's awful. I'm so sorry. I know that probably doesn't mean anything-"

"It means something," Tara cut Willow off softly, feeling comfortable enough to cover Willow's hand on her shoulder with hers, "Thank you."

They shared a look for a moment until Willow's eyes fell to their hands, and Tara quickly retracted hers, thinking she had lingered too long. Willow felt a pang of loss for a moment before dropping her own hand by her side.

"So no parental coming out woes. That's of the good," she said, trying to break through the heaviness between them with some levity, "So wait...if you never came out to your family...and you said yesterday you haven't really had friends, and no girlfriend...Tara have you ever actually come out? I mean, obviously apart from to yourself? Have you ever like...said the words?"

Tara's brow crinkled as she considered the question. She couldn't remember a time where she wasn't comfortable with her sexuality – sure, she'd grown up in a small, predominantly Christian town but even when she was young it never seemed odd that her allegiances always fell more towards girls than boys.

She hadn't had a word to describe herself until she entered high school and learned just through hearing things from the other kids, but even when they denigrated gay people, she never felt like it was something to be ashamed of. It was as natural as breathing to her. And if there was anything her mother had managed to instil in her before her untimely passing, it was that she should always be proud to be herself.

Apart from the credible sense of self she managed to keep during the darker times of her time, more pressing issues by way of her father's fists were enough of an incentive not to publicise it - he didn't need a reason and she had enough sense not to make things worse for herself. She could be happy with who she was and happy not to shout it from the rooftops at the same time.

But now that Willow had brought it up, she thought it probably was odd that those specific words had never left her mouth.

"I guess not," she answered, twirling her finger around the lid of her cup, "I always knew and never had anyone to tell."

Willow smiled, thinking Tara's fidgeting was adorable.

"Why don't you tell me?"

Tara looked up in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me," Willow repeated with an insistent nod of her head, "Come out to me."

Tara was bewildered.

"But I already did."

Willow gave a little grin.

"No, you told me you had a crush on a lady-cop. You didn't say the words."

Tara wasn't sure what Willow was trying to do, but decided to go along with it. She opened her mouth to 'say the words', but they got caught in her throat and she blushed.

"You've made a big deal out of it, it feels weird."

Willow just smiled, offering a kind, patient face. Tara recognised what Willow was doing, giving her a safe opportunity to have a 'milestone' event and smiled appreciatively.

"I'm gay," she said, easily this time, feeling enlightened somehow even though it didn't change anything.

Willow beamed and took Tara's hand, giving it a firm shake.

"Congratulations, Tara Maclay. You just came out. Expect your introductory packet in the mail," she joked, getting a laugh for her efforts, "Hey, what does your name mean? I was wondering last night and forgot to look it up."

It took Tara a second to process the jump in conversation, but she snapped to attention when she saw Willow's expectant face.

"Oh, it means either 'Queen' in Gaelic or 'Star' in Sanskrit."

Willow smiled, liking the answer.

_Queen or Star. That sounds about right. I'd happily have her be either of mine..._

"-hy?"

Willow blinked as she realised Tara had asked something.

"Um, sorry?"

"Why?" Tara repeated, curious as to why Willow was interested.

"Oh!" Willow replied, realising that it probably was an odd question to ask a friend, "I'm, ah, interested in names. Willow just means Willow, so you know, boring. But I like your name. It's pretty."

She averted her gaze to hide the blush on her face at that, but if she hadn't she would have seen Tara was in the exact same boat.

"I like hanging out with you," Tara piped up shyly when she felt her cheeks start to calm down.

Willow looked up and could only smile.

"Maybe we could keep hanging out? If you wanted?"

Tara nodded keenly.

"I do want. Very much."

Willow felt her heart lift in her chest, delighted at the prospect of continued time spent with Tara.

"Great!"

And it was.

They had a friendship, and there was an undeniable deeper bond. They enjoyed each other's company and had plans to continue being in it.

There was _something_there.

And that was enough.

For now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Boris Yeltsin** – Yay!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – SVU watching was in Hacker universe! ;) The first time I said was to one of my friends in a dollar store…then I promptly ran off to a different aisle :P People do believe the packet thing! I made a joke once about the 'gay mafia' to one of my friends and for like a year until it was brought up again, she thought it was serious! As for the only people they've had feelings for – yeah, I just figure, you know what, this is fanfic and I can do what I want and that makes me feel warm and fuzzy so I'm gonna go with it! Plus, like the little-angst, it's sort of become a theme in my fics so I'll continue it! Tara has not been on a date in this universe. She kind of brushes past it 'I've never, um…' etc etc. They kind of both have this hopelessly romantic attitude towards it all *coughtotallymeprojectingcough* that they were just waiting to meet each other (I know it comes up as unrealistic disneyfication portrayals of love sometimes, but hey, all's fair in love and fanfiction, right? Especially love _in_ fanfiction!) Haha, well I hope you had a good 4th of July anyway :)

**AstronSoul** – Becky does know Willow well! Their relationship was always my favourite from the secondary characters so I'm happy I get to give her a little more screen time! Yeah, I wish coming out was that easy too! It kind of became easier for me when I realised it never stops. There will always be someone new to come out to, so that kind of took the power away, that you were just waiting on one person's reaction. Really glad you're enjoying it and hope you continue to do so :)

**Errik's angel** – Not enough for long! Definitely not, I don't plan on stretching it out too much, and there'll be date-ish moments before real date moments! I'm glad the characters seem real! I know my world couldn't be farther from the show world most people fell in love with so it means so much people read the universe I put them in.

**obscure999** – Yeah, I don't want to rush them _too_ much (but we all want them together so I won't drag it out either!) Yes, definitely fluffy. The angsty overtones with the parents won't be too big a deal either – there'll be a bit more delving into it when they talk about it with each other, but after that, well, it's already known that neither of them will confront those relationships for quite a few years!

**canwizard** – I'm glad to have you along for the ride on this one! Super happy you've enjoyed the verse so far – I think they deserve some happiness. Hope you like this one too!

**Willowtarafan4life** – Tara doesn't have a brother or cousin in this verse – it didn't fit in with how I wanted the confrontation to go with her father in Hacker. Haha, I'm sorry for the torture! I promise I'm not intentionally dragging it out, I want them together too!

**Willtara 4ever** – I'm glad the chapter could cheer me up! And I like those adjectives!

* * *

"Again, Willow? Is there one day this week you haven't spent with Tara?"

Willow sprayed herself with some body spray to freshen up, then sat on her bed to contemplate the question.

"No," she answered finally, a smile coming to her face at the fact, "No I haven't."

It had been ten days since their afternoon spent talking by the oak tree, and they had kept up steady contact since, making plans to see each other every day, even if it was just for an hour. Willow always brought them coffees despite Tara protesting each time that she didn't owe her any more. They stuck around campus, and the tree, if the weather was nice or found a warm place inside to sit and talk if it wasn't.

Both generally steered away from further talk of their parents, not wanting to taint the good time they were having together, but Tara did speak about the some of the happier memories she had of her mother and Willow opened up about her 'geek-infested roots' and how it had caused her some hassle in high school.

As well as that, they talked about their respective classes, some professors they'd both encountered, books they were reading and other interests they enjoyed. Once, on a nicer day, Willow had pointed out a funny shape she'd spotted in the clouds and they'd lost hours quietly identifying more, spending a long while in complete silence, just content with each other.

Willow was particularly excited for their meeting this particular evening, because it was the first time they'd arranged to meet 'after dark'. Their daytime schedules had clashed with an extra credit assignment Willow had due, and so only had the evening free. She'd been delighted when Tara had agreed to the evening with her - even if the plan was just to sit by 'their' tree and talk, like they normally would, doing so at night was just one step closer to a real date.

A date which neither had broached yet; or, as Willow felt, hadn't quite plucked up the courage to ask for.

She wanted to ask. There had even been occasions when she almost had, times when she was almost sure she felt a reciprocation of her feelings from Tara, but something blocked her each time. She didn't think she could cope if she was rejected.

"-dea?"

Willow blinked a few times as she realised Becky was standing over and talking to her, having been lost in her own internal musings.

"Huh?"

Becky sighed; she knew exactly where Willow's thoughts were.

"I said do you really think that's a good idea?"

Willow's lips dropped in a frown.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

Becky sat at the chair by her desk and started to slip her shoes on. While initially being delighted that her best friend had found a potential romantic interest, as the days had dragged on, it had turned to concern.

"Because..." she replied, sighing again, "I know you. And you're falling for her. Hard. And if she's not feeling the same way and just wants friendship...you're going to be crushed."

Willow's frown turned into a pout and turned away, pretending to search for something atop her nightstand.

"Yeah well I don't want to think about that."

Becky shook her head.

"Willow..."

"Becky, I said I don't wanna think about it!" Willow replied loudly, throwing her hands up exasperatedly, "I'm still...scoping her out, feeling around. Like you told me to. So...that's what I'm doing."

Becky knew the annoyance wasn't really directed towards her, but at the situation. If her roommate wanted to stay oblivious for a while, then she'd let her. She had yet to meet the now famous Tara, so she couldn't draw her own conclusions from their interactions, but it didn't stop her knowing she'd need to be there for Willow.

Whether that was to squeal excitedly if the relationship ever blossomed or be there with chocolate and tissues and if it all fell apart.

"'Kay, Will. Whatever you think is best."

Willow felt bad for snapping, but didn't want to be put in a dour mood so close to meeting Tara. She spun back around to Becky and sighed.

"If friends is all she wants to be then I will be her greatest friend in the world. I need her in my life. That's not even a question. And I'm gonna fall for her. I can't stop it. It's already happening, happened. If that causes some huge, massive problem...I will deal with it. Whenever that is. Until then...until then, I'm clinging to the possibility that she could ever want me back. Okay? Can't I have that?"

Becky just nodded.

"Sure, Will. You can have that."

Willow gave a resolute nod to stave off the feeling of dejection.

"So you're going somewhere tonight?" she asked after another moment, gesturing towards her roommate, "That's a nice dress."

Becky checked her appearance in the mirror and tucked the hem of her dress up a little.

"Yeah, well if you don't make an effort on Valentine's Day, then when do you?"

Willow's eyes widened in surprise.

"It's Valentine's Day?"

"Uh, yeah," Becky replied with a 'duh' expression on her face, "Have you not seen the cut-out hearts all over campus?"

"I thought they were the party advertisements that are always around," Willow responded, jumping up from her bed and bouncing up and down on her feet, "Tara agreed to meet me on Valentine's Day. That...that could be a good sign, right?"

Becky offered a positive smile.

"Yeah, it could."

Willow clapped her hands together once, hope restored.

"Cool. Great. So, um, who've you got a date with? Anyone I know?"

Becky shrugged.

"Just a guy from my poetry class, Andrew. We're getting some Italian food and going dancing."

Willow grinned playfully.

"Should I expect you home tonight?"

Becky gave a sly wink.

"Depends on how good a dancer he is."

Willow giggled and was about to wish her best friend a good evening, when a thought occurred to her.

"Hey, do you think I should bring some food? I was gonna bring a blanket anyway 'cause the grass was kinda dew-y when I was walking past it earlier...I could get something delivered and bring it with me? I mean, it's late, kinda...she might not have eaten in a while."

Becky exhaled slowly - she had no idea if she should be encouraging Willow or not.

"That would be…date-like."

"It could be an experiment!" Willow exclaimed suddenly, the scientific part of her brain going into overdrive, "I can set everything up like a date and see what her reactions would be to that! To being on a date! With me! So it's like a...pseudo-date. Which, if nothing else, is another step towards a real date."

She nodded happily as she spoke, delighted to have figured out some way to at least try and further her relationship with Tara.

"Yeah, I'm gonna order Chinese food. She said she liked Chinese food the other day when we were cloud spotting and I said one looked like a fortune cookie! Where's my phone?"

Becky stood up and grabbed her purse from the bed.

"Good luck with your pseudo-date," she said as she made her way over to the door, "I gotta go."

Willow covered the mouthpiece of her phone which was pressed against her ear and smiled at her friend.

"Have a good night. Thanks for all the advice," she said warmly before speaking back into the phone when someone greeted her on the other end, "Hi, can I get a delivery please? BC campus. Yeah, can I get..."

She placed an order of the things she liked and threw in a couple of extra dishes in case Tara had different tastes. When she'd finished ordering, she looked down and decided the outfit she had on wasn't good enough for a date, pseudo or otherwise.

She walked over to her closet and opened it, looking through for a few moments before pulling out a forest-green halterneck top, one which would have been something she'd normally pass over for its lack of fuzziness, but had been a birthday present from Becky the year before. She held it against herself and decided it went well with the black pants she was already wearing.

She pulled the shirt she had on over her head and dropped it on her bed before fitting the halterneck snugly over her frame. She turned around a few times in front of her mirror, straightening the fabric out before grabbing getting some green eyeshadow and applying a light amount on her lids, hoping the overall effect was appealing.

She spent another minute checking herself out before finding the spare blanket she had under her bed. She left it on her desk and sat down, biting the skin around her thumb as she contemplated how she'd go about this 'pseudo-date'.

_Stop overthinking. Ha! Who do you think you're speaking to? Right, yourself. Talking to yourself because you're completely insane. Get all the crazy out now, brain, 'cause you're not allowed be crazy tonight! I specifically ban it!_

She nodded to herself, resolve face fully in force, before the shrill ringing of her cell disturbed her. She quickly answered and confirmed her dorm building, then got ready to go downstairs. A quick glance at the alarm clock on her nightstand told her it was about time to set off to see Tara anyway, so she threw the waist-length black jacket that was hanging over the chair at her desk and slipped it over her shoulders, then checked her pockets for wallet and keys.

She slipped the blanket under one arm and flicked the lightswitch off, then left her dorm and went downstairs to wait for the food delivery guy. She only had to wait a couple of minutes before he arrived and she paid him while taking the paper bag in her other hand.

"Keep the change," she said warmly when he tried to hand her back some coins, before taking a deep inhale of the brisk air and set off for the tree.

She grew cheerier as she approached, excited about her 'experiment', and would have skipped if her hands hadn't been so crowded and weighing her down. The sun had completely set, but the sky was still a dark blue in twilight, the stars just beginning to peek out. She arrived at the tree in a few minutes and set everything down on the ground, spreading the blanket out and unpacking the cartons of food.

"Are we having a picnic?"

Willow's head shot up at the sound of Tara's voice and she jumped up with a smile.

"Hi! I, um, I got us some food. I was kinda hungry so I thought you might be too. And I remembered you said you liked Chinese food...You do, right?"

Tara heard some sound float into her ears, but she couldn't quite register what was said as she took in what Willow was wearing. She'd loved seeing the different styles of brightly coloured and textured shirts and pants Willow had worn each day, but she would have been lying if she said she didn't appreciate the figure-hugging halterneck or the way the deep green made her eyes pop.

_She looks so beautiful. And she went to all this effort...it's almost like a date. Is she trying to tell me something? Does she want a date? That's probably just wishful thinking, Tara. She's not that shy. If she wanted to date, she'd ask. She's just trying to make an effort for a friend so stop overanalysing and answer her._

"I...I could eat," she managed eventually, wondering if it would be okay to compliment the outfit.

_Friends can tell each other they look good, right?_

Willow bounced in delight and didn't notice the lingering eyes on her as she gestured down to the blanket.

"Great! I wasn't sure what you liked exactly so I just got a few different things. I can order more if you don't like anything."

Tara nodded shyly and sat on the corner of the blanket.

"You're outfit is really pretty," she said quickly as Willow got comfortable opposite her, "I really like your top."

Willow looked down and smiled; pleased she'd opted to change.

"Thanks," she replied, feeling herself burst with happiness at the compliment before a dash of reality hit her.

_It might not mean a thing. Friends tell each other they look good all the time. I just told Becky earlier._

"Is that Moo shu pork?" Tara's voice interrupted Willow's train of thought as she pointed at a container, "I love Moo shu pork."

Willow blinked for a moment, then pushed the container in question over towards her.

"Yeah, me too. Don't tell the Jew police though."

Tara laughed and Willow felt herself smiling from ear-to-ear that she was able to make her do so, then a quick look in the now empty bag made her smile falter.

"Uh oh. They forgot to include those little plastic spoon/fork thingies."

Tara pointed at a couple of pairs of chopsticks that were already out.

"We have those."

Willow eyed the utensils warily.

"I, um...I haven't the slightest idea how to use those."

Tara picked them up and handed one pair to Willow.

"I can teach you. It's easy. A guy in my study group taught me. We get take-out if we're staying up late sometimes."

"Are you sure?" Willow replied with a nervous chuckle, "I wouldn't wanna...accidentally poke you in the eye or something..."

"Don't be silly," Tara laughed, holding up her chopsticks in demonstration, "You hold one of them between your thumb and middle finger...it should be touching against the bottom of both."

Willow copied the blonde's hand motions.

"Like this?"

"Exactly," Tara smiled, before adjusting the second chopstick, "Now with this one, you put it between your thumb and your forefinger on top. Against the tip of your thumb and the pad of your forefinger."

Willow intellectually understood what Tara was saying to her and could see how the action was performed but when her brain send the signals down to her fingers, they somehow interpreted it as 'toss the chopsticks in the air and make one hit your pretty friend in the forehead'.

"Shit," she exclaimed, scrambling over to the other side of the blanket so she was beside Tara, rubbing her thumb over the place when the utensil had hit, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, don't worry about," Tara replied with a soft sigh as Willow touched her, before composing herself and picking up the accidentally-thrown chopsticks, "Just plastic."

Willow sat back on her heels, a guilty look on her face.

"A couple of plastics sticks to you and the rest of the world maybe, but in the hands of this spaz? Deadly weapons."

"I'm sure you can do it," Tara replied, offering Willow the chopsticks back, "Sit back down, we'll try again with the sesame chicken, that should be easy to pick up."

Willow was reluctant to make an ass out of herself again, but couldn't resist a request from Tara. She sat back down and smiled when Tara shuffled right up close to her, then her eyes widened as she watched her friend pick up a piece of chicken and offer it to her. She silently closed her mouth over the offering, thankful she was able to do a task like that without messing up.

"See? It's easy," Tara somehow managed to speak despite being completely distracted by Willow's lips, "I-I'll help."

She let her gaze flutter upwards, then held out the chopsticks for Willow to take. Willow did, but held them very carefully until Tara reached out to cover her hand, gently moulding her fingers until they took the right shape over the utensils. Tara used her hand's position to guide Willow's hand down to the container again and helped her grab some of the contents before removing her hand completely.

Willow kept her grasp tight on the chopsticks and carefully picked up the piece of meat. She looked up to meet Tara's eye and slowly, cautiously, brought it up to her mouth. She felt her heard start to pound as Tara took it between her lips and let her hand drop back down by her side. She looked between Tara's lips and eyes, not caring right then if she was being obvious

"You did it," Tara whispered when she finished, so low that the redhead wouldn't have heard had they not been sitting so close together.

Willow felt her breath start to come in shallow, heady gasps. She didn't know whether her mind was playing cruel tricks on her, but it seemed as if their faces were inching closer and closer together. She was sure she recognised the look in Tara's eyes - it was the exact same one shining in hers.

Want.

Was her plan working? Had setting things up like a date prompted Tara to be a bit more apparent with possible feelings? She wasn't sure. She couldn't tell. But she did know that Tara's lips were definitely closer to hers than they had been three seconds ago. Much closer. And they were getting even closer still. She licked her own lips in response and felt her eyes flutter closed. It was coming. Tara's lips were coming towards hers. They would be on hers any second...

Until loud shouts from a few feet away from them made both girls spring apart in shock and surprise.

"Wooo...hooooooo! Glug, glug, glug!"

Willow gaped at the group of boys stumbling down the sidewalk nearby, some with beer bottles in their hands, the rest gulping the liquid down their throats. She felt like marching over there and smashing the bottles over all of their heads as her mind reeled from what had, or in fact, hadn't happened.

She took a calming breath that did little to assuage her, before glancing over at Tara, who had picked up one of the containers of food and was picking at some of the food, examining the content intently, hiding flushing cheeks that Willow couldn't see.

_She's acting like nothing happened. Did I...Did I imagine it?_

"Frat boys, huh?" she managed to speak after a moment, "The only people who don't want a date on Valentine's days. At least not just one."

Tara's mind was running to ninety after their almost-kiss. She had been just a millimetre away from sealing the deal when the interruption had happened and now couldn't help but think it was fate's way of stopping her from doing it. From ruining the one pure friendship she'd ever had. Sure, Willow hadn't pulled away when she'd started to push closer but that was probably because she wouldn't have even thought of the possibility of kissing her and so wouldn't think to pull away.

She decided in that moment that she'd been stopped from making what could have been a terrible mistake if it meant losing Willow as a friend. She knew she couldn't let Willow see her flustered or anguished without arising suspicion so forced a smile instead.

"Huh. I forgot it was Valentine's day. Explains why I saw quite so many couples on my way here."

Willow's face instantly fell.

_She didn't know it was Valentine's Day either. Which means she didn't agree to spend time with me on Valentine's Day. She agreed to spend time with me on any old day. Like every other day. Nothing special. No step forward. And my mind clearly must've imagined whatever the hell just happened. Or didn't happen. She's just eating those noodles like she didn't just almost make all my dreams come true._

She blinked away an errant tear that came to her eye, ashamed at letting herself have such a reaction and quickly composed herself as she picked up another of the containers and tried to eat. She didn't really care that she still couldn't use the chopsticks that well since her appetite had been rapidly suppressed by her own thoughts.

"This is good Chinese," Tara broke the silence after a few minutes of them eating quietly.

"They deliver to campus," Willow responded, feeling like it was a bit of a stupid answer but not knowing what else to say, "I can give you their number."

Tara gave a quiet nod.

"Thanks."

They lapsed into silence and finished eating most of the food displayed in front of them. Willow packed all of the empty containers back into the bag and started tapping her fingers against her pants. Both of them noticed the shift in the mood of their evening and Tara, thinking was her fault, decided to start a new topic of conversation to try and get back to their normal friendliness.

"Do you like the stars?"

Willow looked up at the surprise question and offered a small smile.

"Yeah. I really do, actually. They're supposed to make you feel all insignificant, but they made me feel like ... like I was in space or something... part of the stars. Part of something so much bigger than just me," she replied before pointing upwards, "See, there's Canis Minor. Oh and Cassiopeia. That's 'Little Dog' and 'The Queen' to you and me."

Tara looked impressed.

"I never knew the Latin names. I never knew any of the names actually. I always made up my own."

Willow looked at her friend with an inquisitive grin, not feeling quite so down on herself as she had been just a few minutes before.

"You did? Will you...will you teach me? Unless they're private or something."

"They're not private," Tara shook her head, moving over slightly so they were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder again and pointing upwards, "See right up there? That's The Big Pineapple."

Willow giggled.

"The Big Pineapple?"

"Yes," Tara nodded definitively, tracing a line of stars with her finger, "That right there is the base. Then it curves upwards."

Willow followed the curve with her eye and nodded, impressed.

"It's big."

"Hence the name," Tara replied with a wry grin, before moving her fingers over to a different patch of stars, "And that... is Short Man Looking Uncomfortable. See that cluster of stars there in the middle? That's the grimace."

Willow threw her head back in laughter.

"Tell me more, tell me more."

Tara beamed that she had seemed to be able to get past the awkwardness she was sure she had caused before and moved her hand again.

"Moose Getting A Sponge Bath."

"Oh I can see the antlers," Willow replied in mock-seriousness, "It must be a male."

"Of course," Tara replied in a similar mirth-filled tone, "It's the female who has to give him the bath."

Willow giggled again.

"Got any more?"

Tara looked upwards and bit her lip in contemplation.

"Little Pile O' Crackers?" she suggested after a moment before shaking her head, "No, I don't think that one works."

"No, I can see it!" Willow insisted, moving her hand beside Tara's and tracing the same path her finger had, "Look, there's the crackers...piling up...and there on the top, see the little swirl? That's clearly the Cheese Wiz!"

Tara gave a small laugh and dropped her hand.

"You're good at this," she said before an errant yawn escaped her, making her cover her mouth, "Sorry."

"You sleepy?" Willow asked with a smile, glancing down at her watch, "Yeah, it's getting pretty late. Can I walk you back to your dorm?"

"Oh," Tara replied, wishing she'd been able to suppress the yawn so they wouldn't have to part, "Yeah, sure. That'd be nice."

They both stood up and Willow gathered her blanket and folded it under her arm before taking the bag of empty containers and threw it in a nearby trashcan. She walked back over to Tara and once again found herself almost about to instinctively take her hand. She shoved her hand into her pocket to stop herself as she started walking alongside Tara, letting her lead the way since she realised she didn't actually know which student house her friend resided in, they'd never discussed it.

"I had a really fun night," Tara said as they strolled along the grass, "No one's ever understood my star constellations before."

"Well they're just stupid poop-heads," Willow replied in all seriousness, "They're so much better than the other ones."

Tara smiled as she stopped outside a building.

"Well this is me."

Willow nodded, only paying attention to Tara's smile again, before she realised where they were and did a double-take.

"This is what?"

"This is me," Tara repeated, tugging the end of her shirt uncomfortably when Willow continued to just stare at her, wondering if there was an issue because she'd lucked out in getting a dorm in what happened to be the newest building on campus, "Is that a bad thing?"

Willow looked between the building door and Tara in disbelief.

"Tara, this is...I live here!"

"You do?" Tara asked, surprised.

"Yes!" Willow replied, almost shouting at this stage, "How have I never seen you in the common room or getting food...or...or something!"

Tara gave a small, shy shrug.

"I don't leave my room much. You know, except for class. Or I didn't before I met you. I only went into the common room when no one else was there."

Willow was completely flabbergasted but didn't know what else to say, so just opened the double glass doors.

"Well I said I'd walk you to your dorm."

Tara slipped through the door and started walking down the hallway.

"I'm on the ground floor, I have a single."

Willow nodded almost curtly, irrationally annoyed at herself for not discovering Tara sooner.

"Lucky. I love Becky but it'd be nice to have some private space sometime too."

"You can come hang out in my room if you need some peace," Tara offered before ducking her head shyly, "I could leave and you could just...chill."

"Thanks," Willow replied with a small smile, "But I'd prefer if you were there too."

Tara smiled and gave a quiet nod before stopping outside her dorm. Willow looked up at the number on the door and had a whole new reason to be upset.

"Tara, please tell me this isn't your room," she said and saw Tara just give her a nod, "No, this can't be your room. This is 109."

Tara looked at her door number in confusion.

"Do you...not like prime numbers?"

Normally Willow would have laughed at that but instead just leaned against the doorframe and put a hand flat against the door.

"This can't be your room...109 can't be your room...because _my _room is 209. And that means...that means that for the past 18 months there has been...what, a foot of flooring between us? A foot. And we never met. And that's not fair."

Tara looked towards the door in a mix of surprise and anguish – the anguish from the upset look on her friend's face.

"We've met now," she said, putting a comforting hand on Willow's shoulder but just saw her sigh so without thinking of anything other than offering her some comfort, pulled her into a hug, "We're friends now."

Willow inhaled sharply as she felt Tara's arms wrap around her. It was the first time they'd ever hugged and she just melted. For a whole second, she wasn't worried, or upset. She was just hugging Tara. She couldn't believe wonderfully perfect it felt, how wonderful _Tara _felt holding her and squeezed back as tightly as she could. That second was quickly dissolved though, as she took in Tara's last words.

"Right. Friends. We're the best of friends," she said with a forced smile, trying not to bark a laugh out, "So, um, I know where you live now, so I'll, um...I'll come down and visit, okay?"

Tara gave a small nod, sad she hadn't been able to cheer Willow up.

"Or, um," Willow continued, trying to lighten the tension in herself by making a joke, "You could just bang on the ceiling with a broom or something. We could have a system. One bang for 'come on down', two for 'check back later'"

Tara offered a laugh, though her heart wasn't really in it and Willow exhaled before pointing behind her with her thumb.

"So, I'll um...I'll see you soon?"

"I'll see you soon," Tara confirmed with a wave and watched Willow turn and walk towards the staircase to her floor.

She fished her keys from her pocket and opened her door, dropping her keys on her desk as she massaged her temples and started slipping her clothes off so she was left in just her underwear.

_The woman of dreams has been a foot away from me for the entire time I've lived in Boston. Just an arm's reach away. Except it's not my arms she wants to be in. She pulled back from that hug I gave her after a second. I clearly made her uncomfortable._

She gave a loud sigh and climbed between the sheets on her bed, settling her head against the pillows and gazed up at her ceiling, imagining what Willow was doing directly above her.

_It's worse now. At least before I didn't have to be reminded of how that perfect angel will never want to be with me every time I look upwards._

Tears sprang to her eyes and she didn't even try to stop them, too worn out by the emotional back-and-forth her feelings had been playing throughout the evening. She turned on her side and felt her tears flow across her nose and onto the pillow, not caring that she'd probably make quite a predominant wet patch on the fabric, her thoughts only focused on how she could learn to live with the ache in her heart every time she would see Willow.

She cried herself to sleep after a few minutes and let her dreams take over.

They were her secret haven - the only place, she thought, where she and Willow could actually be together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Boris Yeltsin** – Well this one's probably going to go on for a while!

**obscure999** – So close…but they're about to get even closer!

**Willtara 4ever** – Wow, thank you so much! It makes me happy that they're relatable, I don't want to give them too much heartache! High five right back!

**Astron Soul** – Damn frat boys indeed! And don't you worry, you're talking to me…they'll be together VERY soon…just keep on reading down…

**Willowtarafan4life** – Brian won't be in it 'til after they finish college unfortunately! But you will certainly get to read that scene when it comes up! The star gazing scene is used in so many fics, including I'm pretty sure all of mine, but it's so romantic, it's hard to pass up!

**Btvsobsessed623** – Hi! I'm a romantic too, hence writing them in lots of fluffy situations :P I'm glad you liked the other two and hope you like this one too!

**CurlyAkemy** – No more 'does she, doesn't she' for too much longer! In fact not long at all if you cast your eyes down ;) And hey, I appreciate the back-up, I think it's feasible in this universe too, but in Dirty Tube Sock's defense, she didn't say anything negative, in fact she said it was 'Too darn adorable' ! :) I'm very glad you enjoy the stories, I always love your feedback!

**Dirty Tube Socks **– Ha, does that make me Luke? You're right though, I've always maintained these two fell in love at first sight in the other two so I had to make sure that came through here! The feelings thing varies on a bunch of levels. I've never been in a relationship/had real feelings for someone past a 'crush' because of circumstances/isolating myself/etc etc. In this verse, both of them were extremely isolated before college; Tara has been learning to be happy with herself since and I think Willow is caught up in a totally romanticised idea of love that isn't always real, but is for them. And you're right, that is a great thing about fanfiction, because I think people read for the same reason I write; it's escapism. So maybe life doesn't work out this great for everyone all the time, but at least someone can enjoy creating/experiencing that world for a while. Nothing wrong with making yourself/others happy. And my brother and his girlfriend have been together since they were 14 (they're 26 now) and they're getting married in October! I know, they're breaking my heart a little bit, but soon to be resolved! I think you'll find a swan boat in the new future! :) Thanks as always for great feedback, I really love engaging with you wonderful readers :)

**faolan228** – This was like the first 'reference' that wasn't a full-on flashback that I got to play with so it makes me super happy that you got it :)

* * *

**Sorry it's late guys, I had another hospital trip!**

* * *

"You doing anything tonight?"

Willow didn't look up from where her head was buried in a book at her desk.

"Studying. I have a big test tomorrow."

Becky stood behind her, arms crossed loosely over her chest.

"You're not...seeing Tara or anything?"

Willow visibly stiffened but made no movement to look away.

"No."

Becky dropped down to sit on the end of Willow's bed, exasperated. She knew something had happened, some drama had occurred, because Willow had been a sourpuss for more than a week now, but refused to talk about it.

"You haven't seen her in over a week now," she ventured after a moment, "Not since Valentine's night."

"I have the ability to count small numbers, Becky," Willow replied in annoyance, "I know how many days it's been. You were the one who said I shouldn't spend all my time with her anyway! That I'd just end up getting hurt!"

Becky grabbed the back of the swivel-y chair her roommate was sitting on and spun it around so they were facing each other.

"I think that might have already happened."

Willow's eyes dropped.

Being someone who worked in extremes, she'd gone from trying to spend every spare minute with Tara before Valentine's Day to avoiding her like the plague after. Her mind had processed the evening's events, from the almost-kiss that she was sure hadn't actually happened, to Tara's repetitive use of the word 'friend' and had finally come to the conclusion that there was no way her romantic feelings were reciprocated.

The possibility that she'd been clinging was effectively gone in her mind and that didn't sit well with her.

She's caught a glimpse of Tara across campus the day after Valentine's and the palpable ache in her chest had hurt so much that she didn't think she could bear it if she actually had to try and hold a conversation. So she hadn't made an effort to make any contact, even going so far as using the back entrance to the dorms so there was no way they could accidentally run into each other there.

"Yeah, well, she pretty much confirmed she just wants to be friends. And she hasn't tried to see me either," she said eventually, her eyes tinged with hurt, "She knows which number we live in. Directly above her."

"You told me she's really shy?" Becky offered in explanation, "Maybe she didn't feel she could just pop by unannounced, you know?"

Willow considered that.

"I did say that I'd call down to her. I never mentioned her calling up to me," she mused before her eyes went wide "Oh god, you don't think she thinks I don't want to be friends anymore or anything, do you?"

Becky threw her hands in the air.

"Willow, you've basically abandoned her for a week."

Willow dropped her head into her hands and groaned. She'd been so consumed by her own self-pity she hadn't stopped to think how her sudden disappearance might seem to Tara. She was avoiding the pain of having to see her temporarily, sure, but the thought that she could never see her _ever_ again – that made her heart shatter into a million pieces.

"What happened?" Becky prompted, relieved to have gotten a response other than 'I don't want to talk about it'.

"She just...she wants to be friends. And I threw that back in her face," Willow replied with a self-deprecating shake of her head, "I need to go see her. Apologise. Hope she doesn't slam the door in my face."

Becky offered a comforting shoulder squeeze.

"I'm sure she'll understand. We all have mid-terms."

Willow nodded towards her lap, then looked up, eyes vulnerable.

"How do I...how do I make it not hurt when I see her?"

Becky gave her an apologetic smile.

"I wish I could tell you."

Willow closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself before letting out a shaky breath.

"Okay. Okay," she nodded, then swallowed, "I'll just...deal. I'll just have to deal."

"You'll get over this eventually," Becky replied, trying to be kind, "It won't hurt forever."

Willow pulled back and gave an appreciative but sad smile.

"I don't think that's true," she said before looking away and grabbing her keys, "Thanks for slapping a little sense into me. I'll be back in a bit. Still have a few chapters to cover."

"Good luck," Becky replied with a wave.

Willow slipped out the door and turned right to walk down the staircase. She hovered at the bottom for a moment before continuing down the hallway to Tara's dorm, taking a deep breath and quickly knocking while she still had the courage.

She waited tensely for the few seconds it took for the door to open.

"Willow!" Tara greeted, her face instantly brightening when she saw who it was, "H-Hi!"

"Hey, Tara," Willow replied, taking in her friend's angelic features before gesturing forwards with her hand, "Can I come in?"

"Of course," Tara replied eagerly, stepping aside to let her in, delighted to see her after so many days of not.

Willow heard the door being closed and turned to face Tara.

"I have to apologise. I've been crazy busy with midterms and stuff," she said, thinking it wasn't really a lie. Hyperbole maybe, but not a lie, "I've been in the library first thing in the morning to last thing at night and I didn't want to come knocking at bad times. And, um, we never exchanged cell phone numbers so I couldn't call."

Tara was flooded with relief that she hadn't done something to turn Willow away. She'd been starting to think their friendship had been dissolved without her knowing and would be lying if she said she hadn't shed a few tears over it.

"It's okay," she replied, toying with her own hands in front of her, "I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore."

Willow felt her heart break that she'd made Tara think that.

"God, Tara, no. I definitely want to...be friends. Can I get your number now?"

Tara looked down, her cheeks reddening.

"I um, I don't have a cell phone."

Willow saw Tara shuffle uncomfortably and figured the lack of a cell phone was probably down to finances. She knew Tara was in the same boat as her with her scholarship, but didn't have the backlog of savings from parental guilt money that she did. She guessed Tara probably lived on just the small 'living expenses' stipend she received, which wasn't much, Willow knew.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't have a cell phone," she said after a moment in a light tone, "It means you never get drunk calls from your roommate. Not that you have a roommate but you know what I mean."

Tara nodded, though still looked embarrassed.

"So, yeah," Willow continued a few seconds later, "I'm really sorry I've basically just been invisible-girl. Sometimes I get...engrossed it things and people need to kick me out of it."

Tara gave a little nod, just relieved they were conversing again. She didn't want Willow to feel guilty; she hadn't made the effort to get in touch either - though she had thought about it. But the offer to call on Willow hadn't been extended to her, so she couldn't quite bring herself to do it.

"It's okay," she replied forgivingly, "Exams are important. I finished mine yesterday."

Willow nodded before looking regretful.

"Yeah. I actually have a really big exam tomorrow so I kind of have to go again...I just wanted to come down and check in. You know, make sure you were okay. Maybe...organise some time to meet up? At the weekend?"

Tara seemed eager.

"Sure. Anytime."

"Great," Willow replied with a bright smile, relieved that she had been well-received, "Um, how do you feel about maybe getting off campus? Have you ever been down to the Public Gardens? We'd have to get the T 'cause it's kinda far, but it'd be fun."

"I love the Gardens," Tara smiled that smile that Willow had to look away from lest it melt her heart, "I'm definitely in."

Willow wiped her hands against her pants to remove the nervous sweat that had formed there but was still smiling.

"Cool. I'll call down to you again before the weekend and organise a time. I, um...I better go."

"I have a dorm phone," Tara interjected suddenly, before a light flush rose on her cheeks, "If you want to call, I mean. Extension 109."

Willow's nodded keenly.

"Great idea! I'll give you a call, yeah? Oh and you know you're welcome up in my dorm any time. I didn't say that before. So...just so you know."

Tara smiled at the offer as Willow walked over to the door. Tara followed and opened it for her to go through.

"Good luck with your exam tomorrow."

"Thank you, Tara," Willow replied softly, "We'll talk soon."

Tara felt a shiver go up her spine at the way Willow said her name and gave her a wave as she departed. She closed the door and sighed softly, feeling a lot happier than she had in the past week.

_Talk soon. We'll talk soon._

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tara, it's me, Willow!"

Tara sat up fully in her bed and rubbed her eyes with the hand not holding the phone against her ear. She glanced at the alarm clock beside her bed.

"Hey, Willow," she said sleepily, "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's great!" Willow's voice came from the other end, "Are _you _okay? You sound kinda tired."

Tara lips quirked upwards.

"Just a little. It's 2am."

Tara had to hold the phone away from her ear as she heard a loud squeal come through the phone before Willow's panicked voice spoke up again.

"Oh my god, Tara, I'm _so _sorry, I didn't realise it was so late! I've been writing notes and I took a couple of these caffeine pills Becky gave me and she's gone to stay the night at some guys place that she's seeing, so she's not here yelling at me to turn off the light and go to bed so I didn't know it was the middle of the night! I'm so sorry! I'm gonna hang up now! So sorry!"

"No, Willow, don't," Tara said quickly, wanting to keep hearing her voice, "It's okay. Really. I'm awake now. What's up?"

She heard an exhalation over the line.

"Um, I was just thinking how we said we'd go to the Gardens this weekend and thought we could arrange that a little. Like maybe Saturday?"

"That sounds great," Tara agreed warmly, then remembered something she wanted to get first, "I, um, have to do something in the morning but I could meet you at the Gardens at like noon?"

She could almost hear a smile through the line.

"I'll be there. Sorry again for the late call."

Tara shuffled back down in the bed and rested her head against the pillow.

"It's okay, Willow. I like hearing your voice," she replied before blushing at what she said, despite the fact no one was there to see, "Goodnight. Don't study too hard."

"'Kay, I won't. 'Night, Tara. Sweet dreams."

Tara heard the dial-tone and reached out to put her phone back in its place, a small smile playing on her lips. Her eyes started to flutter closed again.

Her Willow-filled dreams were calling her.

* * *

"Do you want this gift-wrapped?"

Tara shook her head at the cashier, then handed him over a bill from her wallet and received a small paper bag and a receipt in return.

"Thank you for your purchase."

"Thanks," Tara replied shyly before walking out of the shop and back onto the street.

She unfolded the bag in her hands and pulled out the object she'd just purchased, toying with it between her fingers. She threw the bag in a nearby trashcan and carefully placed her purchase in the pocket of her hip pocket before she started to walk towards the Public Gardens, where she was due to meet Willow in just a few minutes.

She quickened her pace slightly when she glanced at her watch and saw it was a little later than she thought and sighed in relief that she hadn't left Willow waiting when she arrived at the large entrance gates to the Gardens and didn't see her friend there yet.

It was barely a minute before she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Tara! Hey!"

She turned in the opposite direction that she had come from and saw Willow walking towards her, holding two coffee cups in front of her. She arrived a moment later, offering one of the cups.

"You know, you don't have to buy me a coffee every time you see me," Tara said with a slight grin as she took the Styrofoam cup offered to her, "You've more than made up for the spilled one."

Willow blushed.

"Well, I still feel bad, you know."

Tara just smiled and motioned for them to start walking into the Gardens, which they did.

"I'm glad you suggested hanging out in the park. It's nice to get off campus."

Willow nodded in agreement before gesturing around them.

"This place is really beautiful, huh? All the flowers, and green…and the lake," she said as she spotted the area of water just ahead, "Hey, have you ever been on one of those paddle boats?"

"No," Tara shook her head, "Never had anyone to go with and I didn't want to go on my own. What about you?"

Willow shook her head as well.

"Nope. But I've always wanted to. Do you, um, maybe, wanna…?"

"Yeah?" Tara asked, smiling when the redhead nodded, "Then yes. Definitely."

They made their way over to the Swan Boats and Tara paid the small fee before Willow had a chance to object.

"For all the coffees," she said as they climbed onto the boat and sat on the bench in the front, "Boston's so pretty."

Willow bit down on her lip to stop herself from replying 'you're so pretty', instead opting to just smile and nod as the boat started its tour around the water.

Neither talked during the tour, both just enjoying the calmness of the lake and the pretty scenery surrounding them as well as being around one another. Willow loved that she could be quiet with Tara and not feel awkward. It was another thing she thought made Tara so wonderful – making her speechless was no small feat.

As the tour continued, Willow started taking sneaky, coy looks at her friend and let her mind wander a little.

_I know we've established, brain, that Tara just wants to be friends...but was that a little hasty? Maybe I'm reading too much into the little things...or not enough...It's not like she's ever actually said she's not interested...and that almost-kiss...Did I really imagine it? It felt so real...so...agonisingly real..._

They docked back at the bank, the jolt of which cut off Willow's thoughts. She watched Tara walk over to throw her now-empty coffee cup in a trash can, then sit at the nearby bench. She quickly followed when she saw her pat the space beside her and sat, talking full advantage by sitting close.

Her mind was spinning. She'd told herself she was going to forget about her romantic feelings for Tara, but it was obvious that she just wouldn't be able to. She had to know. She turned to look at Tara again, an intense gaze as if trying to read her mind. She lingered until Tara looked back.

That's when she saw it again.

The want.

The want she was sure she had seen when they had fed each other the Chinese food and been so near to kissing but had dismissed when she'd ascertained her mind had been playing tricks on her. But she was focused now. She wasn't lost in erotic feeding and delirious hopefulness. And she still saw it. She looked away and blinked a few times in thought before deciding that thinking had only made her confused and unsure.

So she had to act.

"Tara?"

There was something in Willow's tone that made Tara both nervous and excited at the same time.

"Yes?"

Willow inhaled deeply before going for broke.

"I really wanna hold your hand."

Tara's eyes widened and she felt her breath quicken. Was Willow saying what she thought she was saying? She started to inch her hand closer to Willow's.

Willow held her breath as she waited for a response, her heart beating furiously in her chest. She was expecting Tara to move away or even to be yelled at for ruining their friendship. What she wasn't expecting was a warm hand to cover hers and give a small squeeze. She exhaled, a slow smile spreading on her face and turned her hand in Tara's, squeezing back.

After a moment she decided that she'd gotten a good response to her first move and needed to make sure there was no confusion on either end for their actions. She needed Tara to know they weren't holding hands in that moment because friends just did that or because it was cold and they weren't wearing gloves.

She took another deep breath. She could be brave.

"Tara?"

Tara wasn't sure her breathing was steady enough to respond, but tried anyway.

"Yeah?"

Willow waited a long moment.

"I really want to kiss you."

Tara thought her hand might slip from Willow's in nerves.

_She wants to kiss me. She wants to kiss me. You want to kiss her back. Tell her._

She turned her head towards and tried to speak, but found herself unable, just parting her lips instead.

Willow saw the movement and felt herself bursting with adrenaline. She swallowed to get some moisture back in her mouth, then leaned forwards half of the way, letting Tara decide whether they connected or not.

The decision was made without hesitation and Willow quickly found a soft pair of lips on her own, moving gently.

Tara felt like her whole body got an electric shock sent through it and her lips had been set on fire as the kiss she had been longing for, for weeks, finally came to fruition. She wasn't sure what had prompted Willow to vocally express her interest but didn't really care in that moment. She had and they were kissing and that's all that was mattered.

And the kissing was wonderful. She never knew she could feel such pleasure from such a simple action but as their lips started moving faster against each other, she was quite certain that kissing Willow would become her new favourite pastime, if she would let her.

Willow was having a similar train of thought. She'd been brave, she'd taken the plunge and it had paid off. Tara was kissing her. Tara was returning her non-friendship feelings. And Tara's tongue was pushing at her lips, timidly and unsure, but definitely there.

She opened her mouth to let Tara in, and while having no idea how she was supposed to move her own tongue in response, it only took her half a second not to care - it was shy, a little awkward and more than a little clumsy but it didn't matter. It was Tara she was kissing and Tara who was kissing back and that made it perfect.

She found Tara's other hand nearby and slipped their fingers together, wanting to be touching her as much as possible.

They continued kissing for a long while, caught up in the newness and each other until a burning need for air made them break apart. Willow made sure they stayed close by resting her forehead on Tara's, pecking her shyly as she caught her breath.

Tara closed her eyes for a brief moment to enjoy the tingle when Willow pecked her and instantly craved more. She reopened her eyes to look in Willow's smiling ones and bit the side of her lip bashfully.

"Willow?"

Willow felt a wave of fear go through her as she thought Tara might voice some regrets over what had just happened. But Tara was smiling and was making no effort to separate their hands so she managed an answer.

"Uh huh?"

Tara's cheeks flushed from more than exertion.

"I really wanna do that again."

Willow's breath caught in her throat in relief for a moment before she let out a giggle.

"You do?"

Tara nodded eagerly and Willow went to move their lips together again, but was distracted by a group of adult, male voices chanting in their direction.

"Kiss again! Kiss again!"

Tara ducked her head shyly and Willow looked over to the source of the interruption; a group of guys in long shorts and t-shirts that said 'Boston College', clearly thinking they were the funniest thing in the world as they laughed and patted each other on the back.

"Assholes!" Willow called back in the same jeering tone before turning back to Tara, squeezing her hands, "Are you okay?"

Tara looked back up, a crooked smile turned up one side of her face.

"I'm more than okay."

Willow beamed and couldn't resist brushing their lips together again, then quickly jumped up before there was another chance for cat-calling.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

She pulled Tara up and began to move back the same way they came in, but Tara skid them to a halt after just a few feet.

"Willow, where are we going?"

Willow spun back around and lifted herself onto her tiptoes.

"Can I take you on a date?"

"A date?" Tara asked, needing a moment to process, "Willow, what...what just happened?"

"We kissed," Willow answered matter-of-factly, before tacking on "And it was amazing. It, um…it was amazing, right?"

"Yes, Willow, it was amazing," Tara replied, bashful, then looked down, "I don't know what this means. Do you like me?"

Willow gently raised Tara's chin.

"Very much."

Tara felt her heart soar but was still confused.

"Can you help me out a little? You know I don't really know anything about this kinda thing."

Willow shook her head softly.

"Me either. I've been relying on Becky for advice on how to deal with how hard I was falling for you," she replied, knowing it was the right thing to say by the amount Tara's face lit up, "I do know that you make me feel things I've never felt before. And that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. And that if you'd maybe want to...we could, you know, keep kissing... and classify the time we spend together as 'dates'... and I definitely like holding hands..."

Tara looked down at their entwined fingers before back up at Willow, question in her eyes.

"Like girlfriends?"

Willow bounced on the spot and nodded eagerly.

"Yes, yes. Exactly like girlfriends. As in, I would be yours and you would be mine and we would collectively be two girls who are girlfriends. Yes."

Tara ducked her head again

"I am, you know."

Willow's brow crinkled in confusion, she wasn't sure she'd even heard correctly, Tara had spoken so quietly.

"What?"

Tara looked back up and tucked a piece hair behind her own ear.

"Yours."

Willow blinked a few times, taking in the lovely sentiment, but the silence made Tara wonder if she'd said something wrong.

She opened her mouth to backtrack but didn't get a chance to actually speak as Willow kissed her again. It wasn't a peck, but wasn't quite as intense as the first, leaving it in happy medium territory of soft and warm. She felt Willow's arms cross over her neck and appreciated how their bodies pressed together; even more tightly when Willow moved her lips to kiss her cheek.

"I never thought I'd be able to hug you and it wouldn't hurt."

Tara turned her head in to meet Willow's eye.

"I hurt you? When we hugged? Did I squeeze too tight? I hadn't hugged anyone in a while."

Willow smiled softly and shook her head.

"No, not pain. And it wasn't you. I hurt myself by thinking we could never be together."

Tara blushed at her misunderstanding, then nodded.

"I know how that feels," she replied, thinking of all the tears she wasted, "Thank you for being brave."

Willow kissed Tara's other cheek, loving how soft her skin felt against her lips.

"Thank you for being mine. I loved when you said that."

She clung to Tara for a few moments until an unfortunately-familiar set of voices called out to them again.

"Did we miss a kiss?"

Willow was getting thoroughly annoyed at this special time being interrupted and promptly flipped them all the bird.

The guys cat-called for another moment before they all started high-fiving each other as if they'd accomplished some major feat, then moved off. Willow turned back to Tara and rolled her eyes.

"How did they even get into college?"

"I'm guessing they're all really good at some kind of sport," Tara replied with a tiny shrug.

Willow crossed her arms over her chest.

"Pfft, yeah. Jackass-ery. Varsity team."

Tara smiled at the joke, but had better things on her mind.

"So...you said something about a...proper date?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Boris Yeltsin** – Thanks :)

**gecoma** – I'm doing okay thanks! Haha, that might be a good idea if you like reading lots at once!

**Btvsobseseed623** – I love the sound of a shipper's heart going 'squee'! Glad you enjoyed it :) And thank you, I'm feeling better!

**Willowtarafan4life** – Mushy gooshy lovey dovey stuff? I think I can manage that ;)

**Guest** – Literally my constant feelings about these two!

**AstronSoul – **Finally is right, now I get to write the good stuff! Willow was being dumb! Hopefully there won't be too much more than that. Aww thank you! They just made those special moments on the show, I love reliving them.

**Wiltara 4ever** – Belated Happy Birthday! I'm glad you liked the chapter, their kissing flashback was one of my favourites too :)

**CurlyAkemy** – I couldn't do that you to you guys or myself! All kissing, all the time, that's my motto! :D Aww, thanks, I'm glad you enjoy them, I love writing them!

**obscure999** – I don't know if those second lot were frat boys, but they were definitely dumb jocks! Hopefully no more haunting! Yeah, it's W&T, they're just drawn to each other. Plus, you know, a Willow and Tara together is much better than a Willow and Tara apart!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Do I have to have Leia's hair do? :P The straight best friend feelings almost never work out. I never had them myself but I watched a friend go through it with another friend and it was so messy for all. Pre-Confidential universe did *suck* for them both. Tara's high school wasn't great either, but for her, being teased was the lesser of two evils against her father so she isn't as cut up about it as Willow was for hers. Yeah, it is a lot of years! I don't get scared at the thoughts of being with someone that long, but if the situation presented, who knows how I'd react :P THEY KISSED! Yes, finally indeed now I can get onto the fun stuff :D They weren't the same guys, there's just an unfortunate number of jackasses when it comes to college boys :P Oh course ya'll are privy to the proper date, and no more interruptions…;) I so love your feedback :)

* * *

**Previously:**

_Tara smiled at the joke, but had better things on her mind._

_"So...you said something about a...proper date?"_

* * *

Willow brightened and nodded excitedly.

"Yes, yes, yes! Okay, um, I normally would need time to plan and panic and make sure everything was mapped out perfectly but I really don't think I can wait even longer for a date with you so...a movie? I could take you to a movie! And then out for dinner! Dinner and a movie, but, you know, backwards!"

"Right," Tara replied a little nervously, not wanting to think about money at a time like this, but having to anyway, "I'm in."

Luckily she was careful with the little she did have, so she had a few extra dollars she could spare for the day...enough for a movie ticket anyway. And how expensive could a salad be?

She resolved to enjoy the day and try not to worry too much about expense, a feat made easy when she saw the huge smile on Willow's face.

"Yay!" Willow squealed, unable to contain herself, "We're going on a date! We're going on a date! A real one, too, not like the fake one I tried to plan on Valentine's!"

She blushed as she realised what she'd said, but Tara just smiled.

"I thought that's what you were doing. But then I thought there'd be no way you'd ever want that so I figured it couldn't have been."

They started to walk again; hands squeezed together between them and made their way out of the Gardens and onto the streets.

"Yeah, I thought if I set us up on a date, it would magically turn into one," she explained, then looked up to Tara, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Tara nodded.

"Of course."

Willow moved so that she was standing in front of Tara, walking backwards on the street.

"Make sure I don't crash into someone, okay?"

Tara laughed but agreed.

"I'll protect you."

Willow could tell Tara meant that, and even if it was just in reference to making sure she didn't fall on her ass right then, it was something.

"I know you will," she replied happily before getting on with her question, "So, um, on Valentine's night...did we almost kiss? When you were teaching me to use the chopsticks? Before those frat boys interrupted? Or was I going completely insane? You can say insane if it was insane."

Tara shook her head, relieved Willow had wondered the same thing.

"We did. I think. I wanted to. I was going to."

Willow did another bounce and fell back into step with Tara.

"Thank god. I thought I was going absolutely crazy and I imagined the whole thing. Like I was thinking about kissing you so much that my mind just made it happen. Like a mirage or something. I was really convinced. I was looking my textbooks up about it and everything!"

"Well, I kinda believe in fate. So I thought the interruption was fate's way of telling me trying to kiss you was the wrong thing to do," Tara replied before seeing Willow frown, so quickly added, "Now I know it was just their way of saying it wasn't our moment."

Willow turned her head curiously at that. She wasn't quite sure of her own belief system, but she could get behind the idea of fate.

"You think?" she asked, the concept intriguing her, "Huh. Why do you think fate wanted us to wait?"

"I'm not sure" Tara replied, never giving too much rhyme or reason to things like that, just accepting them, "Maybe they were bored and messing with us was their way of having some fun."

"Those darn fates," Willow clicked her tongue with a laugh, "Pawning us around like we're part of their own personal video game."

Tara grinned a little, joining in on the fun.

"Or maybe they just wanted us to be in the Gardens for our first kiss or something."

Willow smiled.

"You think? Like it's gonna be like a special place for us?"

Tara let their hands swing between them.

"It's special for me already."

"Yeah, me too!" Willow replied cheerily, feeling like she was walking on air, "There's the movie theatre, right up there!"

Tara looked over to the building in question. It was a small, quaint structure, nothing like the large multiplex-type establishments she had seen around, with a red awning overhead and a small booth with a man sitting inside, in front of and in-between a set of glass doors that led inside.

"It's nice, huh?" Willow smiled as they strolled up to it, "It's my favourite movie theatre in Boston. It's all old-timey but they show the new stuff. I think they have classics nights too. _And _they do the world's best popcorn! Really!"

"Do you go to the movies a lot?" Tara asked, interested.

"Not every week or anything," Willow replied with a one shoulder shrug, the gestured to the movie posters adorning the walls on the way to the door, "What movie do you want to see?"

Tara didn't recognise any of the names.

"I don't mind, you choose."

"Do you like comedies?" Willow asked, pointing to a poster for 'Hitch', "That one starts in ten minutes. I've heard good things. Will Smith is pretty funny. Have you ever seen Men in Black?"

Tara shook her head.

"You haven't?" Willow asked in disbelief as they walked over to the ticket booth, "It's a classic! Or a modern classic anyway. It's about these secret agents who keep the world safe from aliens."

She saw Tara didn't quite get the humour and smiled.

"It's funnier than it sounds. And one of the aliens is called Rosenberg. That always made me laugh."

"Maybe we could watch it sometime," Tara suggested, making Willow nod eagerly.

"Definitely! I have 1 and 2 on my laptop," she replied, then turned to the man in the booth, "Um, two for Hitch."

Tara reached for her wallet, but Willow was already paying.

"I got it, baby, don't worry."

Tara forgot about protesting at hearing Willow call her by a pet name and ducked her head to hide the blush. Willow took their tickets and retook Tara's hand as they walked inside to the concession stand.

"Do you want Coke? Or Sprite? Or something else? We can share but I like everything. Except orange soda, yuck."

"I like Sprite," Tara answered.

"Large popcorn and a large Sprite please!" Willow said to the woman behind the counter.

The server put the cup under the drinks machine and let it fill up while scooping the popcorn into the bucket. Tara figured since the cost of her movie ticket had been covered, she could use that money to pay for their snacks but Willow, showing the stealth of someone who had watched way too many ninja movies, had the cash pushed into the server's hand before Tara even realised it had happened.

Willow handed her the popcorn and held the drink herself so they still had their hands free between them to hold but Tara kept her gaze down as they walked into the right theatre. She silently nodded when Willow pointed out two seats near the back and left the popcorn on the floor when they sat down

"Are you okay?" Willow asked her as she put the drink in the cup holder between them and saw Tara toying with the end of her shirt, "Did you not want to see this movie? We can go to another one."

Tara glanced up for a moment.

"You don't have to pay for me."

"It's fine, really," Willow tried to brush it off cheerily, only for Tara to look away again, "I didn't mean to embarrass you, Tara. I'm sorry."

She took a tentative reach for Tara's hand and held it on the arm rest between them, keeping her voice low so as not to cause further embarrassment.

"Tara, I know...you can't have much to live on. I think it's amazing that you manage at all. I have some complicated parent money that I had saved from before...you know. I'll explain all of that to you, soon, I promise. But not now. It's our first date. I still can't believe that. We're on a date. A real date. And our dates don't have to be expensive. I just want to spend time with you. But this once...it's just popcorn and movie tickets. And we don't even have to go to a restaurant, we can just pick up a pizza on the way back. Is that okay?"

Tara looked back up and smiled shyly.

"Yeah. That's okay."

Willow turned Tara's hand in hers and played with her fingers. She kept her eyes on Tara's face, smiling widely.

"Why are you smiling so much?" Tara asked, finding the look both adorable and infectious.

Willow shrugged, bouncing a little in her seat.

"I was smiling 'cause I thought 'my girlfriend has the prettiest smile'. Then I was smiling more 'cause I got to think of you as my girlfriend."

"Oh," Tara replied, flushing lightly, "You think my smile is pretty?"

Willow felt a surge of confidence and leaned over to kiss the corner of Tara's mouth.

"Uh huh, definitely," she said, loving the tingle left on her lips, "I love when it does that sideways thing, it makes my belly do flip-flops"

She blushed then, thinking she sounded childish, and picked up the drink to cover.

"Oh I only got one straw," she said after taking a long sip, "Do you mind?"

Tara looked to the lid, then back to Willow shyly.

"Sharing a straw? I-I think we got past that on the bench."

Willow covered her mouth to contain the giggles, not wanting to draw any attention to them from the other people starting to fill the theatre. Tara blushed again, wondering where the bold-for-her comment had come up, but loved hearing Willow's laugh so much that she didn't care too much.

She picked up their popcorn as someone walked by, not wanting them to accidentally kick it over, and threw a piece into her mouth.

"It's good, huh?" Willow asked, getting her laughter under control.

Tara wasn't hugely versed in the world of popcorn, but there was definitely a nice flavour and satisfying crunch to what she was eating, so she nodded in agreement.

"I told you!" Willow replied, forgetting her earlier quest for quietness.

A woman shuffling through the aisle in front of them instantly turned, an annoyed look on her face.

"Shush!"

"You shush," Willow retorted back, not appreciating an attempt to ruin her good mood, "The movie hasn't even started yet!"

The woman shot daggers at them for a moment before turning her attention away and moving a few seats down, though there wasn't many left. Luckily they had almost their own entire row to themselves; not many people wanted to sit at the very back. The lights dimmed then and chatter quietened down as the screen was projected with a welcome greeting before rolling onto a trailer.

"I think we really have to be quiet now," Tara whispered, leaning over so she only had to raise her voice a tiny bit.

"Okay," Willow whispered sheepishly, unable to resist leaving a quick kiss on Tara's cheek as it was so close.

Tara nuzzled against Willow's lips without realising she was doing it, and held her hand a little tighter.

She had a fleeting thought that maybe she was in a dream and was going to wake up to an empty bed and aching heart like she had before, but it only lasted a second. She knew this was real, because even the best of her dreams couldn't compare to how good reality felt.

She sensed by Willow's reaction that it was okay to stay close, so decided to rest her head on Willow's shoulder. An arm immediately wrapped around her shoulder,

"I thought I was gonna have to do the ole yawn-and-reach!" Willow whispered in her ear, obviously giddy, "Can you reach the popcorn okay?"

Tara nodded and took another piece in indication. Willow relaxed back, enjoying the protective embrace she had on Tara.

Rationale before would have told her there was no such thing as a 'perfect moment', but she could fully believe that she was in one right then.

The movie started just a few seconds later and they both silently enjoyed it, laughing along with the rest of the theatre until they were more than half way through and only a few stray pieces of popcorn remained in the bucket between them. Their fingers brushed against each other as they both reached for the last one.

"Sorry," Tara whispered, straightening up in her seat.

"It's okay, you have it," Willow whispered back even quieter, not wanting the aggressive woman in front to get angry again.

Tara looked in the bucket and picked up the last piece, biting off half, then offered Willow the rest. Willow took it between her lips with a blush that was hidden in the darkness.

"Thanks."

Tara smiled demurely and started to move her head back down, but was stopped by another cheek kiss. She turned to smile again, but apparently Willow already had plans for her lips. She was glad she was sitting as she realised what the phrase to 'go weak in the knees' meant and did what she thought was the right action by moving her lips gently.

It felt right, and Willow was coming back every few seconds for more - that had to be a good sign. She saw Willow leave the bucket down to the floor, then felt a hand on her shoulder and watched her lean right over to speak into her ear.

"Can we kiss the way we did on the bench?"

Tara met her shy eyes and gave a tiny nod - she had worried she'd been overzealous during their first kiss but if that's what Willow wanted, she was definitely happy to go along with it.

Willow's face lit up, very eager to experience all Tara-tongue had to offer, and pressed their lips together again. This time instead of pulling away to reinstigate, she did the tongue-push Tara had earlier and found herself welcomed straight away.

She did a little more exploring as well as playing this time, discovering how Tara's mouth felt. Her hand found its own way to the back of Tara's neck and played with the little bits of hair that fell near her ear. She was completely melting into the kiss, feeling a warmth spread to her through every point of contact, but after a little while had the eerie sensation of someone watching them.

She was quite unwilling to break the kiss, but did open her eyes. She knew there was no one alongside them so her eyes instantly jerked to the side, in front of them. The 'shush' woman has her eyes glued to them and seemed more than a little intrigued.

_Are you serious, lady? Jeez, stare much?_

She knew Tara would be completely humiliated if she knew they were being watched, so instead of pulling away to give the woman some choice words, she lifted her hand and raised her middle finger.

_This finger is getting plenty of exercise today. Note to self, having a girlfriend brings all the jerks out to play._

The woman at least looked thoroughly embarrassed to be caught staring and spun back around in her seat, slumping down. Willow brought her hand back to Tara's hair, happy to give her focus back to more important things.

Relaxed again, the minutes slipped by them caught up in each other, until everyone in the theatre began clapping along with the closing scene. Tara pulled away first, as soon as the lights came back on and started to fix the front of her shirt, though it hadn't gotten too disrupted.

Willow sat back in her seat, a look of stunned awe on her face for a moment before she lifted the arm rest and slid her arms around Tara's waist.

"That was awesome," she gushed, not bothering to keep her voice down now that everyone had left or was leaving, "I really like making out. Can we do that a lot?"

Tara looked surprised for a moment, not having expected the embrace, but finally looked over her shoulder and offered a smile.

"Uh huh, sure," she replied shyly, then gestured needlessly at the screen, "We missed the movie."

"We can get the DVD," Willow suggested, making no move to let up her hold.

Tara could feel the imprint of Willow's hand pressing through her shirt onto her stomach and looked away to hide the silly grin on her face.

"When do those come out?"

"A few months," Willow replied with a shrug, "I'm not going anywhere."

Tara's silly grin got sillier and wider, but was aware they were the only people left in the theatre.

"I guess we should probably leave."

Willow sighed dramatically, then squeezed Tara's waist just one before releasing her.

"Yeah, we should," she said, picking up their empty containers but offering her other hand to Tara, "Pizza now? Or are you still full?"

Tara took the offered hand and stood, following her out.

"I could eat if you could."

"I can always eat," Willow joked, dumping their trash and leading them out into the street-lit sidewalk, the sun having set while they were inside, "We could look around for a pizza place. Or um, just get the T back to campus. Go to one of the places nearby and head back to the dorms. It's gotten kinda chilly out."

Tara wordlessly unbuttoned her sweater and put it over Willow's shoulders.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean for you to-" she started, but stopped when she saw the shy look on Tara's face, "Thank you. That's... so nice."

Tara watched Willow's smile light up her face and looked away coyly.

"You're smiling again."

"I'm happy," Willow answered unapologetically, "I dunno, just...you gave me your sweater. It's a...couple-y thing to do."

Tara looked back up.

"We are a couple, right?"

Willow nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, uh huh! Definitely! Couple a' what I don't know, but definitely a couple!"

Tara's smile matched Willow's, and she was so lost in her own little bubble of happiness she almost walked straight past the T station. Willow giggled and pulled her back, then got them through the turnstiles onto the platform where their train was already sitting.

"Good timing," Willow commented, jumping onto the train and looking around, "Pretty crowded, it's rush hour."

She spotted a single free seat just down from them and walked over, gesturing for Tara to sit.

"You take it."

Tara shook her head.

"No, you take it."

"Tara, take it before someone else does!" Willow protested, seeing someone board on the other end of the carriage.

Tara took the seat and Willow held onto the nearest handrail, but still lunged forwards when the train jolted into movement.

"You need shoes made of glue to stay still in one of these things," Willow said, pressed up close to the rail.

Tara pointed to her lap shyly.

"You could sit if you wanted."

Not about to pass up an offer like that, Willow slid over just enough to sit gently on Tara's lap.

"I'm not too heavy am I?"

Tara smiled and shook her head.

"No, you're light as a feather."

"And stiff as a board?" Willow joked before immediately frowning, "Ew. Gross. I didn't mean-"

The train jerked again, cutting her off and she took it as a sign to abandon the thought completely. She smiled as she felt Tara's arms cross over her waist the same way she'd done to her in the movie theatre and swung her legs around enough that she could look at Tara's face.

"I like peaches!"

Tara hid her confusion and nodded along, going with it.

"I like apples."

Willow realised she sounded insane and giggled.

"No, on pizza," she clarified, "I like peaches on pizza."

Tara couldn't mask being confused this time.

"On...pizza?"

"Uh huh, it's really good," Willow answered, "Especially with pepperoni."

Tara's eyebrow quirked in suspicion, but Willow was adamant.

"Really. It's sweet and spicy and really, really good!"

Tara tried to be open.

"How did you find out about, um, peach pizza?"

Willow exhaled slowly for a moment.

"Well, last year, after my disastrous coming out phone call...Becky got me drunk...and we got post-beer munchies...and the only thing we had in our dorm was a leftover pizza from earlier in the day...and peaches that were in our mini-fridge to try and make us look like we at least tried to be healthy. So in our inebriated state, Becky dared me to combine the two, thinking it would be horrible and I'd throw up everywhere which would have apparently been hilarious...but it was actually amazing and I've been a convert ever since. I, uh, even got the pizza place we normally order from to put it on their menu."

"Wow," Tara replied, unsure what to think, but willing to try, "Well, if you say it's delicious, then I'm sure it's delicious."

"It is," Willow agreed heartily, slipping her hand into Tara's on her lap, "And I'm an expert on things that taste good."

"Oh an expert?" Tara teasingly challenged.

Willow nodded seriously.

"Uh huh. Real vanilla ice-cream...s'mores...blueberries..." she trailed off a moment and popped a second-long kiss on Tara's lips, pulling away giddy, "You..."

Tara knew her cheeks were flushing but she kept her smiling gaze on Willow until the old train pulled to an abrupt halt again and a crackly voice came over the speaker system.

"Boston College Station. Please exit the train with all your belongings. Boston College Station..."

Willow jumped up, keeping Tara's hand in hers.

"Our stop."

Tara followed behind Willow until they were out of the station, then fell into step with her.

"Tara?" Willow asked after a moment.

"Yes?" Tara replied, looking over, ready to answer.

"Do you mind when I kiss you in public?" Willow questioned, "You just seem a little uncomfortable. I only thought it was okay, 'cause you smooched my brains out in the Garden's. But I totally get that that was, you know, a heated moment. So if you don't want me to, I won't."

Tara thought about it for a moment, then suddenly stopped them in the middle of the street and pressed their lips together sweetly. She did blush, but she didn't mind.

"I'm not ashamed of kissing you."

"Wow," Willow replied, a dazed look on her face, "So this is what it's like to swoon."

She thought she might've fallen over if Tara hadn't been holding her hand, such were the butterflies in her belly, but managed to compose herself after a minute.

"So, um, pizza. Was it pizza?"

Tara couldn't help a smile.

"Uh huh, pizza. I don't really know the carry-out places around here too well, do you?"

Willow nodded.

"Oh definitely. My regular place is just on the corner here."

"And they really...put peaches on pizza?" Tara asked, still unsure of the idea.

"Fruit on pizza is not completely unheard of," Willow argued, "People have pineapple on theirs all the time."

Tara had to concede that point.

"Okay, sweetie. I'll try it."

Willow felt her heart skip a beat at Tara calling her 'sweetie' and suddenly recalled her own use of a pet name earlier.

"Thank you, baby," she replied sweetly, looking for and receiving a similar reaction.

She reluctantly dropped Tara's hand to open the heavy door for the pizza parlour, then led her over to the counter, gesturing for her to sit on one of the stools while she ordered. A tall guy their age with light hair walked over when he saw them approach.

"Hey there," he said easily with a some-might-say charming smile.

"Hi, Danny," Willow replied, friendly, having struck up a friendly rapport with the pizza maker/cashier/delivery guy – his role changed daily and she ate a lot of pizza, "Usual please."

"Large Sweet Red special," Danny called out to whoever was in charge of making the pizza's that evening, then immediately focused back on Willow, "Nice evening, huh?"

"Sure," Willow agreed with a smile, casting a sidelong smile to Tara, "After a really good day. To be finished with some awesome pizza."

Tara smiled back at Willow, but she felt uneasy around Danny - particularly the way he was looking at Willow.

"It'd have to be, you invented it."

Willow blushed and gave a dismissive hand wave.

"Nah, you're the one who perfected it. Just the right ratio of peaches to pepperoni."

Tara's eyebrows rose just a tad at that - she was projecting Danny's flirting tone onto Willow having it as well. She didn't have long to process though as she heard him speaking in her direction.

"I haven't seen you in here before."

"This is Tara!" Willow said excitedly, bouncing over to be near her.

"Hi," Tara spoke up with a shy wave, though internally glared at Danny.

"Hi," Danny replied kindly, before another customer beckoned him over, "Your pizza won't be long."

He moved off to attend to the other patrons, while Tara toyed nervously with her hands in her lap.

"So, Danny, huh?"

Willow looked confused.

"Yeah...that's his name," she replied, before adding on, "He was the one who convinced them to put my pizza on the menu."

Tara nodded but didn't lift her gaze.

"Did he name it?"

"Yeah, actually he did," Willow nodded, not picking up on Tara's discomfort, "You know, 'cause peaches and pepperoni and both reddish in colour...and peaches are sweet."

Tara felt a flare of something inside her.

_More like the redhead he's sweet on_

Willow could have sworn she saw Tara physically wither and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Tara? You okay?" she asked gently, "Is the floor tile really that interesting?"

Tara looked up for a moment and gave a bashful shrug.

"H-he likes you. Can't really blame him."

"Danny?" Willow asked, bewildered, before shaking her head, "Tara, no, no way, you got it all wrong. I only even know his name 'cause me and Becky are lazy and never want to go down to the cafeteria for food. Hence a lot of pizza ordered. I know the name of the guy who delivers the Thai food too. Danny doesn't like me like that."

Tara nodded but Willow saw right away it was a façade.

"You don't believe me."

Tara started to bite the skin around her thumb.

"T-there was flirting."

Willow immediately shook her head.

"He wasn't flirting with me, we were just talking about-wait...do you mean I was flirting?"

Willow kept her voice down, but she was slightly annoyed that Tara would think that. It only took her a second to forgive - it may have been unfounded but she knew if that idea had been in her mind, all hell would have broken loose. She let her hand fall from Tara's shoulder to her cheek and brushed her fingers there tenderly.

"I wasn't flirting, Tara, I promise," she said softly, "I mean that."

Tara looked up into Willow's kind eyes.

"I believe you," she replied, feeling both relieved and stupid, "So, I'll just go crawl in a hole now."

Willow smiled.

"It's okay. You're cute when you're jealous. But you don't have any reason to be, ever. I've been dating you five hours and I know I could spend my life with you."

She almost choked on air as she realised she'd spoken the last sentence she'd meant to think, so missed the smile it left on Tara's lips, and gratefully jumped away when Danny approached with their pizza in its box.

"One large Sweet Red special," he said and put a hand up when Willow brought her wallet out, "Let me get this one. You order enough, I think you're about due one on the house."

Willow pushed a $20 bill across the counter, not wanting anything to seem iffy to Tara.

"That's cool, I got it," she replied hastily, "But, um, thanks..."

Danny shrugged and tendered the sale, handing Willow her change, who tucked it in her pocket and grabbed the pizza box.

"Thanks, again. Bye."

"Uh, wait," Danny suddenly interjected, reaching out to clasp Willow's wrist, "So, uh, my friends have kind of been ribbing me lately...'cause I like this girl and I've been too chicken to ask her out. I kinda have a rep to keep up...so do you want to go out next weekend? I, um, do have a life outside of this place sometimes."

Danny smiled that charming smile again, while Tara slinked back. Willow looked down at where his hand was touching her and gently took her hand back.

"You really pick your moments, buddy," she muttered, thinking how exponentially easier it would have been to let him down when Tara wasn't three feet away watching, "Uh, sorry. That's um, very sweet, but, uh, um-"

"You're seeing someone?" Danny guessed with a dejected sigh, "Of course you are."

"Uh huh!" Willow nodded, grabbing Tara's hand and pulling her right up closer, "I'm seeing her."

Danny perked up again, thinking he hadn't lost his chance.

"I think you misunderstood. I meant on a date."

Willow's brow creased in mild annoyance.

"I know what you meant. I'm _dating _her."

Tara had her eyes fixed firmly on floor, so didn't see the 'charming' smile on Danny's face turn into a smarmy one.

"Huh. Wow."

"Yep," Willow replied, not liking the look on Danny's face, "So, um, we'll be seeing you."

_Never. We'll be seeing you never. Definitely finding a new pizza place._

She tugged on Tara's hand, intending to lead them away from the awkward situation but Danny called out again before they got to the door.

"Hey, if things don't work out...or if you two feel like something...new. You call me. Day or night."

Tara looked up, suitably offended, but could almost see steam blowing out of Willow's ears as she slammed the pizza box back down onto the counter.

"What the hell did you just say?"

Tara hung back, not wanting to get caught up in it all but could see Danny's features change to fear and Willow continue to seethe.

"I was trying to be nice to you 'cause I thought you just got the wrong end of the stick but if you think for one second I would ever date your scrawny little ass you are _seriously _mistaken! Never mind the fact that you're a dude, have you seen who I walked in with? My girlfriend is a beautiful princess and you're an ugly toad that'll never be a prince!"

Tara couldn't help but smile at the compliment despite the aggressive nature it was said in and the numerous stares it was attracting, but could see the situation was spiralling out of control.

"Willow, let's just go," she said, stepping a little closer.

"You're an asshole!" Willow continued yelling at Danny, not hearing Tara behind her, "And my relationship with my GIRLFRIEND – have you got that yet? Girlfriend! As in I'M GAY, buddy! – is none of your damn business but just for your information things are gonna work out because I would be a damned fool if I ever let her go!"

Tara blushed and took another step forward, feeling safe to do so; that Willow's anger wasn't going to become physical. She slipped their hands together and saw Willow instantly deflate.

Willow looked over her shoulder at Tara's sweet face and nodded once, indicating she would stop her tirade.

But not before shoving the pizza box off the counter so it opened and the cheesy mess fell onto Danny's shoes.

"Keep your lousy pizza."

She marched them out then, head held high until she knew they were out of sight, after which she slumped down onto a nearby bench, head in her hands, ashamed at how she'd acted. Tara sat down next to her and rubbed a hand on her back.

"You okay?"

"I dunno," Willow replied through muffled hands before looking up, "Are you gonna break up with me?"

"Why would you think that?" Tara asked gently.

"Are you kidding? I completely lost control back there," Willow replied, then tacked on as a self-deprecating joke, "Redheads and their tempers."

Tara considered what had happened for a moment before speaking again.

"Do you think you'd lose control like that if you got angry at me?" she asked calmly.

Willow shook her head rapidly.

"No, Tara, no. I've never even done anything like that before. I felt like he was disrespecting you, and us, and I...lost it. And I'm not going to apologise to him, because it wasn't okay what he said, and I don't even ever want to see him again. But I'm very sorry if I scared you, or embarrassed you, or all of the above."

Tara moved her hand up to Willow's shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

"I believe you, Willow," she said finally, genuinely, "Oh, but, I don't like to be yelled at. I know we're bound to fight eventually. But I don't like being yelled at."

Willow could see there was something heavy behind those words and nodded.

"Okay, Tara. I won't, I promise."

Tara smiled softly.

"Good."

She leaned over and kissed Willow's cheek, happy to put the incident behind them and continue what had been a wonderful date.

"Is there another pizza place around here?" she asked, her eyes telling Willow all was forgiven, "I may even have some peaches in my dorm we can add to them."

Willow smiled gratefully.

"Yeah, but it's a few blocks. We can call and get it delivered. Back to yours? It's, um, more private."

Tara nodded and they both stood to begin walking back towards campus.

Willow kept Tara's hand tight in hers as they walked - she meant what she'd said before.

There was no way she'd ever let her go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Boris Yeltsin** – Well this is the prequel so there's no Buffy characters at all until Hacker rolls around.

**AstronSoul** – Haha, Willow's certainly in agreement! I hate guys and girls like that! The guys who think they can get in your pants/girls who think you want a penis secretly :P Money is a tricky subject but I think they'll work it out (what am I saying, it's already written that they'll work it out :P) Gray job? Not a purple one, or blue maybe? :P

**obcsure999** – I ended up ordering pizza as I was writing that, writing about food always makes her hungry :P Lots of fluff, more coming! :D

**Errik's angel** – Glad you enjoyed it! There'll always be an issue or two between couples, but the great thing about doing a prequel is you know it all works out! :D

**Willowtarafan4life** – Uh huh, Willow had to put him! It's funny for me having to write Tara so shy too! I'm looking forward to seeing the transition she makes between these early days and the start of Hacker! (and yes, people noticed…but I have to say I have no idea what you're talking about 'cause they lived happily ever after :] )

**CurlyAkemy** – Ahahaa! Large with the butch indeed!

**gecoma** – Lol, you might have to unsubscribe if you can't resist! I'm super happy you enjoyed it :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Sorry about the friend situation...I get the fictional character stuff though! I get more upset thinking about bad things happened to W/T than I do thinking about it happening to my own friends (don't tell them that :P)

Those are good questions. I will try to answer:

1) Hitch was the only movie released around that time that was romantic-comedy esque and I didn't want them seeing something heavy

2) Secretly gay bigots everywhere!

3) Willow has a temper and giving someone the finger is the least aggressive way for her to get it out 4) I have no idea! Because you're pointing upwards to the sky and there's birds there? Good question!

5) Because the only thing people want more than being liked, is thinking someone finds you attractive

Lol, a fight wouldn't have gone down well with Tara :P

Did they interrupt? Yeah I guess they did. Whoops! No more interruptions! Okay, maybe one…but that's it! Don't lose faith in humanity!

* * *

"You're smiling again."

Willow just smiled wider, practically skipping along the path to their dorm building.

"I must have a super-duper Tara smile because you only say that when I'm thinking about you!"

"You were thinking about me?" Tara asked coyly.

"I was thinking that the last time I was on campus I was single and pining for my pretty new friend," Willow replied, swinging their hands between them, "Now I'm all girlfriend-y. Holding hands and smooching and all of those nice things."

"Very nice things," Tara agreed, taking a glance down at their conjoined hands with a smile, "I'm looking forward to that pizza. I'm getting kind of hungry."

"I'll call right now," Willow replied, taking her cell phone from her pocket, "Then we won't have to wait long by the time we get to your dorm. Pepperoni still okay?"

Tara nodded, so Willow found the number and called to place their order.

"They said twenty minutes," she said as she hung up and pocketed her phone again, "Actually these guys are cheaper too and the pizza's just as good. And they give you free ranch! Pfft, no idea why we kept going back to that other place."

She shook her head for a moment before smiling up at Tara.

"Anyway. Don't need to think about that. You sure you don't mind going to your dorm? You're welcome in mine, of course, but Becky might be there and I'd like to just be with you."

"No, I don't mind at all," Tara replied, smiling back when Willow held the door to their building open for her, "Thanks. You're sweet."

"Your sweetie," Willow corrected playfully, "I'm your sweetie. Hey, was it okay when I called you baby earlier? It just slipped out, but I liked it."

Tara smiled warmly as they walked down the hallway.

"I liked it too. It made me feel special."

"You are special," Willow replied shyly but genuinely, "Really…so special."

"You're sw–" Tara started to respond again before smiling, "You're my sweetie."

They arrived at her door and she fished around for her key for a moment before finding and opening the door. She walked in and held the door open for Willow, then closed it and went to her desk to flip the switch for the string of lights over it, then to her nightstand to turn the lamp to give them enough light.

"Hey, I love your room!" Willow suddenly announced as she really took in the simply decorated room – rich, red satin sheets on the bed; a bookcase filled with books, almost all of them textbooks for classes; a dresser; a wardrobe with a small poster of a kitten on it and a desk, opened books and scattered pens sprawled on it, "I love those lights!"

Tara walked back over, smiling shyly.

"You've been in my room before. You came down during the week, remember? To tell me you'd been busy."

Willow looked guiltily and sank down onto the edge of the bed.

"Can I be honest with you?" she asked, then rolled her eyes to herself, "I never understand why people ask that. Like 'no, please lie to me'."

Tara sat on the bed too, but gave Willow some space.

"You can be honest."

Willow let out a soft sigh before speaking.

"I was avoiding you. I had myself so convinced you just wanted to be friends...and that hurt."

"I understand," Tara replied gently, then added on shyly, "The hurt, I mean. I cried a little bit."

Willow face fell.

"Oh Tara, I didn't want to make you cry!"

"No, no," Tara shook her head quickly, "I didn't mean that. I just meant...I understand. It's okay. "

Willow gave a little nod, but her gaze stayed down.

"That probably doesn't sound too good to you. I had a problem and my solution was to ignore it."

Tara shuffled over to put a hand on Willow's back.

"Don't beat yourself up. It was very confusing. I didn't know what the heck to do either. I could have tried to find you more too."

Willow considered that a moment and decided it fair, making her feel better.

"All worked out, right?" she said, her tone eased and heart lifted when Tara smiled, "So, yeah. I really love your room. It's...warm. And lovely. "

"Do you mind incense?" Tara asked, happy to see Willow brighter, "I burn some sometimes, but if you don't like it, I won't. I want my room to be Willow-friendly."

Willow nodded keenly.

"Uh huh, I love incense. It makes Becky's allergies go wack-o but I used to burn some when I lived at home, at least when my Mom wasn't there. She thought I was turning into an occultist or something."

Tara's crooked smile came out to play.

"Well if you promise it won't lead to a ritual sacrifice, I-I have some sandalwood, or um, vanilla blossom I think."

Willow started to giggle.

"You're so funny," she said, pulling her knees onto the bed and resting her chin on them, "I like vanilla, but sandalwood's good too. You choose."

Tara went over to the window and lit a couple of the vanilla blossom incense sticks sitting on the window sill. She made sure the smoke was blowing upwards, then went to her desk to empty her pockets. Following her wallet and keys, was the purchase she'd made before meeting up with Willow, forgotten in the day's events until right then.

She hid it behind her hands and walked back towards Willow.

"I-I got you something."

"Me?" Willow asked in surprise, "You shouldn't be spending your money on me."

"It's just something little," Tara replied quickly, turning her hand around with a metal chain with a solid, dark green, cylindrical pendant hanging off of it to show her, "I got it just to say thanks for being my friend, but I guess now I can give it to you to say...I'm really, really happy we're girlfriends."

Willow reached her palm out to hold the pendant against it.

"Tara, this is beautiful."

Tara smiled shyly.

"I saw it and it reminded me of your eyes."

Willow felt her heart swell and looked up into Tara's eyes. Her hand lifted to brush against the delicate skin of Tara's cheeks for a moment before she leaned over to press their lips together lightly.

The kisses they'd shared already had been sweet, soft, longing, intense; Willow could think of a variety of ways to describe how wonderful they were. But alone, in the shadowy light, silent apart from their gentle inhalations, the only word Willow thought was 'intimate'.

After a minute or two she pulled away, accidentally bumping their noses together. She smiled with quiet joy and lifted Tara's hand with the necklace still in it.

"Will you put it on me?"

"You like it?" Tara asked hopefully.

Willow pecked her again.

"I love it. Thank you."

She turned and tilted her neck down, then felt the metal of the chain against her skin. The weight of the pendant hung down from her as Tara clasped the necklace around the back of her neck and straightened up again, looking down in admiration.

"No one's ever given me jewellery before."

"I wish it was more," Tara replied, toying with her hands.

"I don't," Willow answered, feeling the smooth jewel of the pendant, "It's perfect."

Tara looked down and smiled to herself, happy her gift went over well. Willow played with the necklace for another few moments, feeling pretty to be adorned with it, until her phone starting vibrating in her pocket. She took in out and answered, then nodded.

"Okay, I'll be right out."

Tara guessed it was the delivery guy with their pizza and picked up her wallet, offering Willow the lone $20 bill in there.

"Willow, I can pay for this one, you paid for the first one."

"Uh, and I was the reason it ended up on the floor. No way, no how," Willow shook her head, then offered a smile, "'Kay?"

Tara didn't want to cause a disagreement so nodded and put the money back in her wallet. Willow skipped out to collect the pizza and returned after just a minute, bringing the pizza box over to the bed.

"Hey, I meant it about the money thing and cheap dates," she said in a casual tone as she flipped the lid, "I never want to make you feel uncomfortable."

Tara nodded shyly but with a smile.

"Thanks."

Willow just smiled back, then rubbed her hands together in anticipation of the steaming pizza.

"You got those peaches?"

"Oh, sure," Tara replied, going over to the small mini-fridge in the corner of the room.

Fruit, bottled water and the odd juice box were the only things she kept in there, taken from the cafeteria at mealtimes. A ripened peach sat at the bottom, as Tara thought it would, so she grabbed it and handed it over.

"Do you have a knife?" Willow asked, taking the peach and holding it in both hands.

"Um..." Tara replied uncertainly, going over to rummage in her nightstand drawer, "I have a plastic one?"

Willow nodded.

"Uh huh, that'll work!"

Tara handed her the white, plastic knife.

"Do your magic."

Willow sliced the peach in half-inch think pieces and scattered them around the pizza before closing the box again.

"We have to let the steam from the box cook them."

"Oh, okay," Tara replied, sitting near her on the bed, "How long does that take?"

Willow gave a slow shrug, then looked up with a hopeful smile.

"Long enough for me to steal a kiss?"

Tara's cheeks flushed and she smiled, giving a shy nod. Willow scooted over so they were next to each other again and took one of Tara's hands, cradling it between both of hers in her lap.

"You've got really nice hands," she said, drawing slow circles in Tara's palm, "Really, you could be a hand model. Do you lotion?"

Tara nodded and picked up a small white bottle on her nightstand, offering it.

"You can have some if you want."

"Thanks!" Willow replied, eagerly squirting some into her palms, "This is nice! I always mean to lotion but then I forget. I'm a great brusher though, three times a day!"

Willow had no idea why she had felt the need to announce her hygiene routine and shuffled awkwardly for a moment before clasping Tara's hand.

"Um, so can I kiss you now?"

Tara nodded again.

"You don't have to ask."

Willow shrugged one shoulder.

"Well, it's polite to ask. Can't just come up kissing you whenever I want."

Tara smiled bashfully.

"Yes you can."

"Oh," Willow replied, not even trying to hide her ear-to-ear grin, "Well then maybe I will. Starting right now."

She leaned over and took Tara's lips, kissing her gently. She let her hands rest on Tara's shoulders and her thumbs brush over the skin close to her neck until she felt a giggle rise in her throat and had to pull away to let it out.

"I'm glad I didn't know kissing you felt this good, I would have been even more upset not being able to!" she said, pecking her again before grabbing the pizza box, "This should be ready, I'm starving! I left some of it peach-less in case you don't like it."

She popped the lid and poked a peach to make sure it was warmed, then gestured for Tara to take the first slice. Tara took the slice Willow had poked at and eyed the bit of peach warily for a moment before taking the bite.

Willow watched intently, trying to figure if Tara enjoyed her concoction, but couldn't tell at all until she swallowed and smiled.

"That's really good."

"I told you!" Willow replied, delighted Tara enjoyed it.

"You did, I'm a convert," Tara responded, taking another bite.

Willow moved up and sat against the headboard, taking her own slice and sighing contentedly as it filled her belly.

They talked and laughed until they'd each had their fill, and Willow found an errant yawn escaping her mouth.

"Sorry," she said, covering her mouth with her hand, "I always get sleepy after I eat."

Tara glanced over at her alarm clock.

"I guess it's pretty late."

Willow looked down reluctantly.

"I should probably leave. Let you go to sleep."

"You don't have to leave," Tara replied, a little too quickly, before ducking her head, "But you're sleepy too."

Willow perched at the end of the bed.

"I don't wanna leave."

Tara looked back up, clearly shy again.

"Y-You can stay, if you want."

"Stay?" Willow asked, trying not to sound too eager, "The night?"

Tara nodded, then blushed bright red.

"N-not to, not for-I mean, it's a long walk...upstairs."

She trailed off lamely but Willow jumped on the excuse to spend the night.

"The lights could be off, I could trip and fall."

Tara's whole face lit up.

"Right, exactly! I have some spare pyjamas...they'd be kinda big on you."

"That's okay, I like comfy," Willow replied, letting her keenness show.

Tara stood and slid her hands in her pockets so as not to show their excited shaking at the thought of sleeping next to Willow, then went to her dresser to find some nightclothes. She took out a pair of sweats that she knew were a little tight on her, and a tank top that had shrunk in the wash and offered them to Willow.

"Thanks," Willow said, feeling giddy at being able to share clothes and sleeping quarters with Tara, "I'll just get changed over here."

She went over to the corner and turned around, quickly stepping out of her clothes and pulling on the ones Tara had given her. The top fit her perfectly and the sweats were just a little baggy, easily rectified when she turned the waistband down to make them more snug.

Without thinking, she spun back around, but was caught motionless when she realised Tara was still in the process of getting changed - her bottoms were on but she was just pulling the top over her head.

_Oh my god I can see her boobs. Well, one. Oh what a boob. The side of her boob, but still her boob. That is one very round, soft-looking – oh my god what am I doing, turn back around, turn back around!_

She quickly turned again, feeling awful for invading Tara's privacy and chastised herself until she felt a hand tap her shoulder. She jumped right back.

"Sorry," Tara said, idly playing with her hands, "I, um...just wanted to say I have an extra toothbrush in the bathroom."

Willow crossed her arms over her chest and nodded quickly, trying not to think about what she'd seen.

"You can keep extra stuff in your bathrooms down here? If you tried to do that upstairs people would just steal it. Oh the difference a floor makes."

Tara smiled and shook her head, walking over the other side of the room where there was a door that Willow hadn't noticed before.

"Single rooms have their own bathrooms?" Willow asked as she joined Tara and looked into the en-suite bathroom, "No fair! I have to share with like 20 other girls! It's impossible to get a free shower unless you go while it's still dark outside!"

Tara's nose scrunched at the thought of having to share shower space and realised how lucky she was to have her own private facilities.

"It's just these rooms that have them. This is the newest building on campus. Built pretty much entirely because of a tantrum."

Willow turned to her, an intrigued look on her face, so Tara continued.

"Well, six years ago, some heiress to a Fortune 500 company started going here, her father was an alumni and a huge funder apparently. She was all set to be a party girl, but wasn't impressed when she found out that involved sharing, and didn't want to live off-campus. The story goes that she flat out refused to come here until there was a way she could live on the dorms and by herself," Tara told the story as it was told to her, then gestured around, "Voilà . The building was up in less than two months and now they give out the rooms to scholarship students. Daddy's little girl, huh?"

Willow smiled softly, more at the storytelling than the actual story.

"How do you know all that?"

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"I've done a bit of admin work for the college."

Willow nodded, not prying and peered back into the bathroom.

"I'm super jealous."

"Well you can use mine whenever you like," Tara replied before blushing when images of a wet, naked Willow sprang to her mind, "Um, you can go first. The spare toothbrush is the red one."

"Thanks," Willow smiled as she walked into the tiled room and shut the door, looking around.

_Private shower, private toilet...single rooms rock. Why did I ever say I wanted a roommate on that application form? Wouldn't have met Becky though, so I guess that's of the good. Still, I could get used to hanging out in here...well, not in the bathroom, really. Why would we be hanging out in the bathroom together? Unless we were in the shower together...whoa, girl, slow it down there, Willow. Slow it right down._

She splashed her cheeks with some water to calm them down, then spotted a red toothbrush still in the plastic wrapping. She freed it and spread some toothpaste on the bristles, then began to brush as she contemplated her reflection in the mirror.

_That is the face of a girl who has a girlfriend. A beautiful, kind, smart, wonderful girlfriend. Woke up this morning, got a mocha and finished my term paper...now I have a girlfriend. That I smooched...a lot. Smooched in the Gardens, smooched in the movies, smooched on the street, smooched in her room...now I get to spend the night with her...I wonder if she'll want to cuddle? Would she have asked me to sleep over if she didn't? I hope she does, but I'll deal if she doesn't...hey, maybe she's expecting me to sleep on the floor...that's okay, too! Still near her! I better ask._

She spit and rinsed, leaving the toothbrush back in the holder, then washed her hands again and walked out. Tara started to walk past to get in, but Willow caught her wrist.

"Tara?"

"Yeah?" Tara asked, smiling softly.

Willow gestured downwards.

"Do you have an extra blanket for the floor?"

"The floor?" Tara replied shyly, "T-the bed's big enough for both of us."

Willow beamed.

"Okay, if you're sure!" she replied, already bouncing towards the bed.

She took a detour to fold the clothes she dropped on the floor and took her cell phone from her pants pocket. She left it on the nightstand as she was accustomed to doing in her own room, then lifted the sheet and slid into the bed on the left side, but didn't get comfortable until Tara came back out.

"I wasn't sure if you had a side," she said as Tara made her way over, "I can move if you want."

"I normally take the right, so you can stay right there," Tara replied, then a little nervously got in beside her.

Neither of them made an effort to move until Willow piped up a few seconds later.

"So I normally lie down."

"Right," Tara blushed, "Me too."

They both lay down with their backs ramrod-straight and almost a foot between them. There was more silence until Willow once again spoke up.

"I'd be open to cuddling...if you wanted. Only if you wanted."

A slow, nervous smile fell on Tara's face.

"Okay."

She shuffled over onto her side and watched as Willow did too, but there wasn't any movement after that.

"Um, how do we...?" Tara questioned, unsure how to proceed.

"We have options," Willow replied helpfully, "I mean, there's spooning, in which we'd have to decide on who was the big and who was the little spoon, or one of us can lie on our sides and hold the other, or the sides but with lying on instead of holding, or just generally facing each other or...any variant, really. I think the only requirement is closeness."

Tara thought over those options, all of which sounded great.

"You choose."

"Okay," Willow nodded, happy to take the lead since she sort of had already, "Well then I'll just..."

She stayed on her side and shuffled over, getting close enough that their legs and hips were touching and put her arm over Tara's waist.

"Is this okay?"

Willow's face was close enough that Tara could feel her breath on her lips as she spoke, but she managed to nod and put her hand on the small of Willow's back.

"I-is this?"

Willow nodded too and brushed their lips together lightly, but Tara ducked her head, separating them.

"Willow...you, you know I've never been with anyone, right? I-intimately?"

Willow pulled her hands away and held them, shuffling back a few inches.

"I know, I know, I wasn't trying anything, seriously," she protested, taking a breath, "I mean, I haven't either. And there is no pressure, absolutely, positively no pressure. I'll sleep on the floor, really, or I can leave if I've made you uncomfortable."

"No, you haven't," Tara replied quickly, then smiled shyly again, "I'd prefer if you stayed. I definitely like cuddling."

Willow breathed a sigh of relief and shuffled in closer again.

"Oh, good. Me too. It's like a hug but all nice and lie-down-y. Plus I can do this."

She wiggled their toes together and Tara giggled. Willow loved hearing that sound, especially when she was the one who caused it, and brought their faces close together again.

"I'm gonna steal another one of those kisses."

Tara didn't pull away this time and melted into Willow kissing her. She wondered if the tingling sensation would ever go away.

_I hope not._

Willow lifted her hand first up to Tara's arm, then continued further up, loving the point-of-contact heat she felt as she did so.

"Tara?" she breathed after a few minutes, brushing her fingers against Tara's cheek, "Can I kiss your neck? It's totally fine if that's not okay."

"My neck?" Tara questioned with a soft gulp, liking that prospect, "Okay."

Willow pressed feather-light kisses along Tara's jaw, then over her ear and into her neck. Tara's skin was so soft and buttery against her lips; she could quickly see herself becoming addicted.

Tara figured Willow kissing her neck was by far the most pleasurable sensation she'd ever experienced and was very glad she'd agreed to it. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sparking feeling in her belly, until she felt Willow's lips lift away.

"Oh, Tara, I'm sorry. I think I left a mark."

Tara tried to look down to her neck.

"A m-mark? Like a hickey?"

"Yeah, I guess they call them that," Willow replied sheepishly, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Tara reassured, then blushed, "I liked it."

Willow looked relieved, but set her gaze on Tara's lips.

"Maybe I'll stick to these kisses anyway."

She covered Tara's lips again, smiling when she felt the ends of her hair being played with. She let herself get lost in it this time until a shrill ring made them both jump up in fright. Willow made a grab from her cell and read the name on the screen before answering.

"Not coming back tonight. Perfectly safe. Don't worry."

She hung up without waiting for a response, annoyed at being interrupted.

"Was that your roommate?" Tara asked, her heart still pounding a little from the surprise.

"Yeah," Willow nodded, "Sorry."

Tara looked down coyly.

"Does she know about me?"

"Oh yeah, I've been gushing since we met," Willow replied with a smile, "I could introduce you guys if you wanted."

"Really?" Tara asked, pleased

"Yeah! Then I can really say to someone 'this is my girlfriend!'," Willow said excitedly, before adding on, "Plus, I want you to meet her. I don't want you hidden from any part of my life."

Tara smiled.

"Okay. I'd like to meet her."

"Great!" Willow replied, before covering her mouth when she yawned again, "Sorry."

Tara put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

"That's okay. I'm about ready to fall asleep too."

"With cuddles?" Willow asked hopefully and Tara nodded.

Willow lay back down on her side like she had before and put her arm over Tara's waist again.

"Thanks for today, Tara. I'm so happy. I couldn't have asked for a better date. Both the activities and person. 'Night."

Tara settled cheek on Willow's shoulder and had a moment of realisation that she'd been uncomfortable falling asleep every night for the past twenty years and finally wasn't.

"Goodnight, Willow. I couldn't have asked for a better everything."


	7. Chapter 7

**Errik's angel** – Definitely awkward still, glad you're enjoying it :)

**Willowtarafan4life** – Aww, glad you think so :)

**obscure999** – Glad you enjoyed it! And hey, I always want pizza!

**EternalyTormented** – Hey, thanks! Glad you're enjoying it and hope you continue to :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I'm sure you will, time heals all (apparently :P) I appreciate your secret keeping… :O blackmail! They'll be in a large brown envelope ;) Haha, yes, some are secretly gay, some are just class-A bigots…I think the chick in the movie theatre was at least a _little_ bit of a secret homo :P Yes, Tara angst, any angst, in my opinion, should definitely be avoided! People are weird…but I kinda like that!

Lovey Willow and Tara makes me smiley too :D Haha, the peaches had yet to happen in the chapter before last, so I don't think they appeared 'again' :P

Definitely no hiding Tara, for the right or wrong reasons.

Glad you're enjoying it, hope you continue to!

* * *

Willow turned her head into the pillow in annoyance when a flash of bright sun burned into the back of her eyelids. She reached up, intending to bring the pillow down to cuddle, but her eyes blinked open in surprise when she bumped into something else soft along the way. Her face instantly broke out in a smile.

_Tara._

Memories of the day before flooded her mind.

"Wow," she whispered, taking in Tara's delicate, sleeping features, "You're my girlfriend."

She watched her for another moment, then was about to cuddle back into her when she heard her cell vibrating on the nightstand. She quickly snapped it up, not wanting to wake Tara, and immediately pouted when she read a text message reminding her of a study group organised for that morning.

_I don't wanna go. Don't they know I have a girlfriend who needs to be snuggled?!_

She sighed as she realised she was going to have to go and leaned down to leave a kiss on Tara's forehead.

"Sorry, Tara. I'll be back, okay?" she whispered, then chanced a chaste kiss on her lips.

Tara arms crossed over her chest as if she was hugging herself and she smiled softly.

"Willow," she mumbled, making Willow think she was awake, but her eyes remained firmly closed.

_Even her subconscious knows it's me kissing her..._

She found it even more difficult then, but managed to drag herself from the bed and went to brush her teeth before finding her clothes from the day before to change back into.

Tara felt herself starting to stir into consciousness and unknowingly copied Willow's action of burying her head a little into her pillow. She was comfortable and reluctant to allow herself to awaken at all until she remembered how un-alone she'd been when going to sleep and her eyes flew open.

Her heart immediately sank when she saw the other side of the bed empty.

_Was it a dream? No, please, no._

She turned over and started to sit, but stopped short when she spotted Willow standing at the end of the bed, her back to her. It wasn't her back, however, that was on show as she pulled her panties up her legs.

_That is Willow's butt. That is...Willow's butt. She has a very cute butt. I kinda want to kiss it. Her cute butt...that I should not be looking at._

She quickly closed her eyes and lay back down, definitely a lot more awake than she had been a few moments before.

_You looked away, Tara, you don't have to feel guilty...she could have gotten changed in the bathroom...her butt really was cute. I'm sure I saw a couple of freckles._

She felt herself blush and hid her cheeks into the pillow until she felt a pair of lips kissing her forehead.

"Tara, I gotta go. I wrote you a note, okay? I'll see you later," Willow whispered with another kiss as Tara blinked her eyes open, "I thought you were asleep."

Tara felt the knot in her stomach tighten a little as she saw Willow's sweet face.

"I was."

Willow took a moment to appreciate Tara's sleepy face for a moment.

"Oh, well I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's okay," Tara replied quietly, then unable to resist her own urges, leaned up to pop a kiss on Willow's lips.

Willow seemed pleasantly surprised and offered a peck back. They went back and forth a few times until their lips were firmly locked and Willow was moving back onto the bed.

Tara scooted over to give her room but stayed close enough that they didn't strain their necks. She wasn't sure whether kissing Willow eased the heat in her belly or made it worse, but either way, she didn't want it to stop.

Willow had completely forgotten she had planned to leave; Tara's lips easily the most distracting force she'd ever encountered. Her hand moved up to touch Tara's neck, carefully avoiding the bruised area from when she'd been a little over-eager the night before.

She loved how her fingertips just sank into Tara's soft, pure skin and thoroughly enjoyed finding the little nooks and crannies she pressed into from her ear, across her hairline.

Tara was equally caught up with her own caresses, though her focus was on Willow's hair, loving the satiny feel as she curled the ends over her fingers and gave her scalp a gentle massage.

A lot of minutes passed in complete silence apart from the sound of their lips smacking together until Willow's phone began to vibrate and jumped from her pocket, between them. Tara looked down in confusion as to what was vibrating in her bed, then picked up the phone and handed it to Willow.

Willow blinked a couple of times, trying to regain some form of thought, and absently took her phone.

"I, uh...something."

Tara smiled coyly and rested her hands under her head on the pillow.

"Good morning."

Willow nodded, lips pouted from kissing.

"Yeah. That."

Tara felt uncharacteristically unselfconscious, even though it was first thing in the morning.

"I thought yesterday was a dream when I woke up," she said softly, taking Willow's hands to play with her fingers, "Were you sneaking out on me?"

Willow shook her head reassuringly.

"No, Tara, I had a study group. I didn't want to leave. I woke up and you looked so cute, I just wanted to lie there all day."

Both of them blushed and looked away, hiding smiles from each other.

"On a Sunday?" Tara asked, though not doubtingly, "You guys must really love to study."

"We decided on an extra one because we all have some midterms left this week," Willow explained.

Tara nodded understandingly, feeling guilty for keeping her.

"Sorry I distracted you. You should go."

Willow pouted.

"I don't wanna. Who cares about the grade?"

"You do," Tara replied, looking up through her eyelashes.

Willow felt a heart flutter at the way Tara was looking at her, but knew she was right.

"It's not all day, I'll come back," she said, before getting bashful, "I mean, um, if you want me to."

Tara's face lit up.

"Yes, please."

Willow shot her a winning smile.

"Great! I can introduce you to Becky too!"

"Okay," Tara agreed warmly.

Willow nodded and started to stand but only scooted about an inch over.

"Okay, leaving now..." she said, though made no further effort to move, "I slept really good last night. I liked being close to you."

A smile lit up Tara's face all over again.

"Me too."

Willow wiggled happily in place, then finally jumped up.

"Really leaving now. I'll be back this afternoon, okay? Will you be here?"

Tara nodded.

"I'll be here."

Willow leaned down to give her a gentle peck.

"Bye Tara. Thank you...for everything."

Tara returned the sentiment with a smile and squeezed Willow's hand before releasing her. Willow closed her fist and shoved her hand in her pocket, as if trying to hold onto and protect Tara's touch, then quickly left before she let herself be distracted again.

Tara stayed lying down, her hand over the spot Willow had been in, feeling the lingering warmth. She smiled again, unable to contain it, as she thought for the first time ever she'd woken up to her dreams being a reality.

Willow skipped through the doors of the dorm building, very happy to be done with her study commitments and free to spend the afternoon with Tara. She paused as she passed the stairs, remembering her promise to introduce her girlfriend to her roommate, and decided to run up quickly to check if Becky was there.

She hadn't even opened the door fully when her irate roommate pounced on her.

"Alright, you need to spill. Now!"

She jumped back in fright at the unexpected yelling in her face.

"Jeez, Becky, work on your volume control," she said as she stepped inside and closed the door.

Becky threw her hands up in exasperation.

"What. The. Hell, Willow?! You've never stayed out all night in your whole life! Where were you?! I was worried! And don't tell me something stupid like Chem Lab."

"I told you I was safe," Willow replied calmly, sitting on the edge of her bed, "I was at Tara's."

Becky waited for elaboration, but when she received nothing, picked up a pillow from her own bed and threw it across, hitting Willow squarely in the face.

"Hey!" Willow spluttered, getting a mouthful of fabric.

"Willow, spill!" Becky replied impatiently, as if Willow was holding out on the meaning of the universe.

Willow hugged the pillow to her chest, a proud look on her face.

"I took her on a date. A real one, not even a pseudo-one. Also there was kissing. She likes me back!"

Becky clapped eagerly, delighted that things had worked out, but quirked an eyebrow a moment later.

"And you spent the night? On a first date?"

Willow blushed bright red.

"We didn't...!" she started, flustered, remembering the glimpse of topless-Tara she shouldn't have gotten the night before, "We just cuddled!"

"Are you sure?" Becky asked, through her tone had turned teasing.

"Yes!" Willow replied vehemently, feeling defensive of Tara's honour more than her own, "And I don't appreciate you talking about my girlfriend like that."

Becky's eyebrow took another turn upwards.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes," Willow replied, beaming from ear-to-ear, "She is my girlfriend and I am hers and there is no confusion about it because she said it, she asked. After I kissed her."

Becky looked wary.

"You've never even agreed to a second date before...but Tara gets elevated to girlfriend status after a single date?"

"Duh," Willow replied, looking at Becky as if she was crazy, "Have you not listened to a single word I've said about her over the past few weeks?"

"I just think you need to be careful..." Becky trailed off, clicking her tongue.

Willow thought a moment, then smiled at her best friend.

"Becky...you've been great. You really have. And I don't think I would have made it out of all this Tara confusion without you...but I think I need to stop relying on you for advice...I think me and Tara gotta find our own way. We're together now, we're a couple. We're one 'two', not two 'ones'."

Becky took a moment, then smiled and nodded.

"Okay, Will. That's fair. I'm really, really rooting for you both."

"Thanks," Willow replied, grinning happily, "So am I, Look, she got me this necklace. Isn't it pretty?"

She held up the pendant for Becky to see, but didn't give her a chance to reply.

"Just like her. She's so pretty. I was watching her sleep this morning before I got up and she is just...so beautiful."

"You watched her sleep?" Becky asked with a grimace, "That's really creepy."

"It's not creepy," Willow replied indignantly, hoping Tara didn't think the same, "She looks like an angel when she's sleeping. So peaceful. And then I kissed her and she didn't wake up or anything, but she smiled and whispered my name. While she was sleeping!"

Becky held up her hands.

"All I'm saying is, if I woke up and caught some guy staring at me, I'd swing for him."

"Yeah, well," Willow replied, adopting the tone of a petulant child, "I'm not gonna stop."

Becky grinned curiously.

"So you're going to keep having sleepovers?"

Willow shrugged one shoulder.

"If she wants to, too," she replied, hoping Tara would, "I mean she doesn't want to rush the, you know...physical stuff anymore than I do...but I like cuddling...and I'm pretty sure she likes cuddling...so why not cuddle?"

"Your logic works," Becky quipped, happy to see Willow happy, "So am I ever gonna get to meet her?"

Willow jumped up from her bed.

"Uh huh, uh huh, yes!" she replied eagerly, "That's why I came up here, to see if you were around! She wants to meet you too!"

"Well go get her now, 'cause I'm going on a date in a half hour," Becky responded, then stretched back on her bed with a satisfied grin, "And it looks like our dorm will have to live without inhabitants tonight 'cause I don't plan on coming home."

Willow blushed.

"So, Andrew's in for a good night, huh?"

Becky rolled her eyes.

"No, I'm over him. He tried to make every conversation into a work of poetry, it was exhausting. I met a new guy."

"Oh?" Willow asked, used to keeping up with her roommate's often quickly-changing love life.

"Uh huh," Becky nodded, "Paul. Seems nice, bit of a player maybe, but hey, he's in good company."

"And you're planning on spending the night?" Willow asked with a non-judgemental grin, "What was it you were saying about doing that on a first date?"

"Oh that rule doesn't count for me," Becky replied with a playfully dismissive hand wave, "Not when the guy is a perfect Adonis. I mean, I'm talking abs you could grate cheese on and pecs that just don't quit."

Willow looked completely lost.

"You're really not speaking my language but I'll take your word for it."

"Trust me. He's _hot_. So hot I don't even care that he's a cafeteria worker."

Willow shook her head at Becky.

"There's nothing wrong with working to earn extra bucks. Most people consider it a good thing! We're lucky we both have so much, even if it's only because our parents suck."

Becky held up her hands defensively, though did think that maybe she'd sounded like a bit of a snob before and didn't want to come across that way.

Willow didn't want to fight about something trivial, and had more immediate plans to concern herself with.

"I'm gonna go get Tara, okay?"

She left the room and was skipping again as she approached Tara's door, waiting patiently for it to open after knocking.

"Hi, Tara!" she greeted when her girlfriend came to the door, throwing her arms over Tara in an embrace.

"Hi, Willow," Tara replied softly, managing not to stumble, "How was your study group?"

She closed the door as Willow bounced into the room.

"Much knowledge was learned and retained. What did you do all morning?"

"I read for a little while, and finished an art project," Tara answered, before ducking her head shyly, "Showered. Tried to look a bit better than this morning."

Willow stepped towards her and took her hand.

"What do you mean?"

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"Bedhead and...everything," she answered before swallowing and lowering her voice to an embarrassed whisper, "Did I have really bad morning breath? I didn't really think before I kissed you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I thought you looked beautiful. I sorta couldn't stop looking at you," Willow replied, at a loss as to how Tara could think she was ever anything but gorgeous, "And there was no morning breath. None. Just tingly-Tara-lips."

"Really?" Tara asked, relieved she hadn't completely turned Willow off of her.

"Yeah, of course," Willow responded, taking Tara's other hand too as her tone grew bashful, "I loved waking up next to you, every bit of it."

Tara blushed and smiled shyly. Willow kissed both of those flushing cheeks.

"So, um, I was gonna introduce you to Becky, if you still wanted. She's going on a date in a little bit, but she's free right now and then you and me could...do something. If you're still, you know, free."

Tara nodded.

"I'm free," she replied, before looking down self-consciously at the plain blue shirt and cargo pants she was wearing, "Should I change?"

"Not unless you want to, I love how you look," Willow answered, reaching up to pull at the collar of the shirt affectionately, "That coffee stain washed out well, huh?"

She smiled up at Tara who smiled back, then took her hand again.

"So are you ready?"

Tara nodded again and grabbed her dorm keys, before following Willow out and up the stairs to her room.

Willow put her key in the door and opened it again, holding it back for Tara to step in.

"This is my side of the room," she said, gesturing to the tidy, left side, then smiled in the other direction at her roommate sitting on her bed, "And this is Becky. Becky, this is Tara."

Becky stood up and offered a friendly smile, but it turned into a teasing grin in seconds.

"Wow, Willow, you said she was hot, but damn..."

Becky whistled approvingly and Tara went as red as she ever had. Willow hissed at Becky, making a kick for her shin, but just missed. Becky stuck out her tongue at her roommate, then offered her hand to Tara.

"Hi, I'm Rebecca Hardy, but everyone calls me Becky."

Tara shook Becky's hand shyly.

"H-hi, Becky, it's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

Becky felt a little bad for teasing them when she realised just shy Tara really was.

"You too. On both counts. Not just how hot you are."

Willow shot Becky what could only be described as a death glare.

"I'm sorry, Willow, I don't know how to act, I've never seen you smitten with someone," Becky replied, making no real apology before turning to Tara, "You better not hurt her."

Willow kicked out again and connected this time, making Becky grab her shin and yelp. Tara shrunk away a little and toyed nervously with her sleeve, but did manage to speak after a moment.

"I won't."

"You don't have to say anything to that," Willow reassured quickly.

Tara looked over to Willow and shrugged one shoulder.

"But I won't."

A slow smile spread on Willow's face and she leaned over to leave a kiss on Tara's cheek.

"Good enough for me," Becky interjected, over the attack on her leg.

Tara ducked her head away bashfully.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom," she said quietly, slipping from the room without another word.

"Down the hall to your right!" Willow called after her before turning back to Becky and crossing her arms over her chest, "What the frak! You made her all uncomfortable!"

Becky grinned.

"So I guess I shouldn't mention the huge hickey on her neck, then? Nice work."

Willow blushed but her stance remained firm.

"Don't you dare push it," she replied, narrowing her eyes, "I'm really mad at you right now."

"I was playing," Becky defended.

Willow looked like she was trying her darndest to set Becky on fire with just a glare.

"Not everything is a joke."

"Uh, yeah, it kinda is. Loosen up," Becky replied with a roll of her eyes, sitting on the edge of her bed, "Listen, Tara's great. You weren't kidding about that shy thing, but great. I wish you'd introduced us sooner, we could have avoided all of your moping."

Willow wasn't sure she had forgiven Becky for making Tara uncomfortable yet, but did look intrigued by that.

"What are you talking about?"

"The way she looks at you?" Becky replied as if it was obvious, "She's clearly gaga for you."

Willow did have to admit Becky was more versed in the art of dating and definitely in the more subtle cues.

"You think?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"Oh, I know," Becky nodded assuredly, "You guys have this crazy energy."

Willow bounced back on her heels in delight at that but didn't get a chance to respond as a quiet knock came from the door. Willow went over and opened it just a little, enough to look out.

"Hey, you okay?" she whispered.

Tara nodded shyly, her cheeks a little shiny from where she'd splashed herself with some water. Willow noticed and took her hand for support, then kissed her cheek in comfort.

"Don't worry about her, she thinks she's funny."

"I heard that," Becky interjected, walking over and throwing the door completely open, "And I'm hilarious."

"Yeah, a regular Carol Burnett," Willow replied sarcastically.

Becky rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse from her desk.

"Anyway, I better go, can't keep my hunk waiting," she said with a glint in her eye before smiling genuinely, "Nice to meet you, Tara. Really. I hope we can hang out more some time."

"O-okay," Tara replied, then offered a demure wave as Becky left.

Willow closed the door behind her, then slumped against it.

"I'm sorry, she's...She doesn't really have a censor button. But she's not mean, or at least she doesn't try to be."

Tara nodded politely.

"You guys seem close. That's nice."

"Uh huh, we are. We kinda have a back-and-forth thing," Willow replied, motioning with her hand, "If you just give her a chance, I promise I'll ask her to tone it down."

Tara smiled softly.

"Willow, I think she's great. Really."

"Really?" Willow asked with a relieved smile, "I want you two to get along, you know?"

Tara nodded again and Willow rushed forward to give her a brief hug before gesturing around.

"So this is my room," she explained unnecessarily, "That's my desk, and my bed...closet."

Tara looked around in approval, then smiled at a dog plush toy sitting on Willow's pillow.

"I like your dog. What's his name?"

Willow looked over to the toy she'd won at a fair the summer before and kept because she'd liked to have something to cuddle before Tara, then blushed.

"Wish I'd hid that," she replied, looking down and clearing her throat, "It's um, Snuggles."

Tara smiled at the name and went over to pick him up.

"I have a stuffed rabbit, Mr. Hoppy. I've had him since I was a baby, my mom gave him to me."

"So you shared a bed with a man before me?" Willow joked and delighted in hearing a giggle in response, "So, um, Becky's gone for the night, we can hang up here if you want. Or go do something, I don't mind."

Tara looked out the window, the rain hitting against the glass.

"It's raining pretty hard."

Willow looked out too, hearing the loud clapping for the first time.

"Oh," she replied, looking nervous for a moment and covering with a smile, "My Bubbe used to say this was a 'duvet day'. Where it's so wet and yucky that you should just curl up with your blanket."

"Your Bubbe?" Tara asked, thinking she knew the term, "Your grandmother?"

"Yeah, sorry," Willow confirmed, looking away for a moment as if remembering, "She was the best. She...passed on when I was nine."

Tara left Snuggles down and walked over to Willow to rub her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. Were you close?"

"Yeah, she was the parent I didn't have. It broke me when she died. Hey, that must've been the same year you lost your-" Willow started before promptly clamping a hand over her mouth, "Tara, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that."

"That's okay," Tara replied softly, "Rough year for us both."

Willow nodded and turned to embrace Tara again, giving them both a hug they could have used all those years ago.

She felt comforted even though she'd long gotten over her Bubbe's death.

"So, um, do you wanna watch some TV or something?" she asked after taking all she could from the hug.

"Okay," Tara agreed easily.

"We could have a duvet day!" Willow replied cheerily, then frowned, "My bed's kinda small though."

"We can go back down to mine," Tara offered, then looked embarrassed, "But I don't have a TV."

Willow glanced at her computer sitting on her desk.

"I have some movies on my laptop, I could bring it down," she suggested and Tara nodded, "Great!"

She bounced off get her laptop plug, then looked at her closet and back to Tara, unsure.

"Tara? Should I...bring some jammies?"

"To stay the night?" Tara asked brightly.

Willow nodded coyly.

"I mean, only if-"

Tara cut her off with a smile.

"You're always welcome."

Willow beamed.

"You too! But, you know, we fit better in your bed," she said as she went over to her closet, "So, I'll just pack a bag real quick...my clothes and laptop."

She threw everything she needed into a backpack and shrugged it onto her shoulder.

"Do you want popcorn? I could put some in our microwave and bring it down."

Tara noticed the little microwave in the corner then, and with another look around the room noticed how well equipped it was.

"You guys have your own little apartment up here."

"Well the TV is Becky's, and I bought the microwave soon after I moved out here when I realised how much pizza we were wasting," Willow explained, scratching the side of her head, "The electric kettle is mine too...we both have a CD player...mini fridge came with the room! Oh and there's a toaster oven in my closet but I never even took it out of its box."

Tara got a little more wide-eyed as she spoke, making Willow shuffle uncomfortably.

"I sound like a spoiled brat don't I?"

"No, not at all," Tara quickly shook her head, "It's nice to have convenience."

"Yeah," Willow nodded, still feeling like a bit of a jerk for shoving things Tara didn't have in her face, at least as she saw it, "So, popcorn?"

Tara seemed agreeable so Willow got a bag of microwave popcorn and left it in to pop, before going over to the mini-fridge.

"You like Sprite, right?"

Tara nodded again and Willow grabbed a can of Sprite and a can of Diet Coke, balancing them on top of one another.

The microwave dinged a moment later and Tara took the cans so Willow could retrieve it.

"Ow, ouch!" she hissed as the paper burned her, then managed to hold it on the cool corner, "Okay, ready."

They left the room to go back to Tara's, and Willow left her backpack in the corner. She brought her laptop out and went over to Tara's bed, leaving that and the popcorn down as she set everything up.

"Do you have a movie preference? Comedy, drama?"

"I don't mind," Tara answered, perching on the end of the bed and leaving the cans with the popcorn.

Willow opened a folder on her computer and started looking through.

"I have a new movie that one of my online buddies got an advance copy of, it's called Imagine Me and You. It's super cute and all with the girly lovin'."

Tara smiled.

"That sounds good."

Willow set the movie up to play and angled the screen, before looking at Tara shyly.

"We'll have to lie kinda close so we can both see."

Tara scooted up and rested her head on the pillow next to Willow with a soft smile. Willow smiled back and left a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Very," Tara replied, very softly nuzzling into Willow's shoulder.

Willow rested her arm over Tara's waist, leaving the popcorn there so they could both reach. The opening credits started, the sound drowning out the rain outside

It was one of her more embarrassing secrets that she didn't like the rain, or rather, the thunderstorms that were often associated, ever since she was little and had been caught out in one all night by accident.

But as she heard the harder drops of rain hit the window, she didn't feel that pang of fear she always before.

She'd be happy for it to rain every Sunday for the rest of her life, if it meant afternoons like this with Tara.


	8. Chapter 8

**obscure999** – Glad you enjoyed it :) A little Willow babble is always fun, and there is definitely no creepy undertones!

**Willowtarafan4life** – They do follow the same principle and I make no apologies for it. I write what I like to write and I'm not gonna stop.

**Errik's angel** – Great movie, right? Glad you're enjoying it :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I have no idea what to do with 22 rubber ducks…you're the one who asked ;) Recycling is good.

If you read fanfic, there's plenty of secret homos fighting crime!

I'll keep the peaches to a minimum :P

Ew, yeah, I remember that episode. It's definitely not as creepy in my head with W/T…Willow doesn't like hover over her, just lies there and steals some looks.

Willow is _very_ overprotective, but hey, that doesn't really stop. She's like that through the whole series.

That's a good song to have stuck in your head…although I guess any song will become annoying if you can't stop thinking about it.

You know something weirder? I'm writing _this_ during a thunderstorm!

* * *

"Willow, I think you have to leave."

"No," Willow whined, a pout forming on her face, "Why?"

"Because you're not sticking to the rules," Tara replied softly, "I'm supposed to be writing my assignment at the desk and you're supposed to be studying on the bed."

Willow's pout deepened.

"I just came over to borrow a pencil."

Tara glanced down to where Willow was sitting in her lap, then back up again.

"Twenty minutes ago."

Willow reluctantly removed herself from Tara's lap and the lovely kissing session they'd been engaged in.

"I'll be good, I promise."

"I don't know if I can promise that," Tara replied with a blush, "But this assignment is due tomorrow."

Willow looked down and nodded.

"Okay. I'll go."

"It's not that I want you to go..." Tara said, not wanting Willow to think she wasn't wanted, "I never want you to go."

"It's alright, I understand," Willow replied after a moment; she's only been reading over class notes but if she had real study to do she knew she would've been distracted by Tara too, "Will you meet me for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Of course," Tara smiled, "Come get me?"

Willow smiled too, happy that they at least had plans to meet again.

"Sure I will. Eight o'clock okay?"

Tara nodded.

"That sounds great."

Willow leaned down to kiss the corner of Tara's mouth, then went to gather her books.

"I'll leave my laptop here so you can type up your paper when you're finished your notes."

Tara tapped her pencil against the desk.

"I was just going to write it out longhand tonight and go to the library early to type it up."

Willow shook her head and brought her laptop out, opening the lid.

"Oh, well I don't want to crap on a system if you have it, but it seems way easier to just use mine. I'll open the word processor and everything so all you have to do is type. Plus that'll leave you extra time for breakfast with that adoring girlfriend of yours."

Tara smiled affectionately and Willow got her computer set up. She brought it over and left it on the desk, then kissed the top of Tara's head.

"Take care of my baby."

Tara nodded seriously, she knew how important Willow's computer was to her, and so was honoured to be allowed use it.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure it comes back to you just the way I got it."

"Well, thanks," Willow replied, then dropped her head down to kiss Tara's cheek, "But I meant you. I kinda noticed you don't eat much when you're stressing. Have a juice box and some crackers before bed. I don't want to come here in the morning and find you passed out on the floor."

Tara blushed at the concern but couldn't help a smile.

"Okay, I promise."

"Thank you," Willow replied, collecting her books in her hand, "Okay...well...see you in the morning. Don't miss me too much!"

"I'll try not to," Tara said, only half-joking.

Willow went over and pecked Tara's lips, then walked to the door and hesitated.

"Going through a door was never hard before it meant leaving you," she sighed before clutching the doorknob, "Okay, breakfast. You and me."

"I'll be there," Tara replied and offered a wave as Willow forced herself to leave.

She moped upstairs, not liking the idea of her cold, hard, decidedly Tara-less bed that would be her sleeping quarters that night and sighed dramatically again as she walked into her room.

Becky looked up from where she was watching TV in surprise as the door opened.

"I'm sorry, what are you doing in my room?" she asked with a straight face, "I'm going to have to call the- hey wait, you're Willow! The other occupant of this room! I forgot there was one!"

Willow rolled her eyes and kicked the door closed behind her, then dropped her books on her desk.

"Ruh roh," Becky continued in a surprisingly good Scooby Doo impression, "Trouble in paradise?"

"No," Willow replied, flopping down onto her bed and instantly feeling disdain for it just because it wasn't Tara's, "She's got a big assignment due and I was…distracting her."

Becky laughed loudly.

"My little Willow has discovered the joys of making out."

Willow blushed but didn't try to deny it.

"She has very addictive lips."

Becky whistled approvingly.

"And a rack to die for."

Willow sat up and shot her roommate a glare.

"Hey, watch your mouth!"

"Jeez, I'm just playing, you know I am," Becky replied, grinning to herself.

Willow sighed.

"'Play' with me all you want, but leave Tara out of it, okay?"

"Alright, alright," Becky responded, sensing her normal teasing nature was off-limits when it came to her roommate's girlfriend, "She doesn't have a nice rack then."

Willow scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Your eyes shouldn't be anywhere near that part of her, _my _eyes shouldn't be anywhere near that part of her."

Becky quirked an eyebrow.

"You've never sneaked a peek?"

"No!" Willow replied indignantly, though the colour of her cheeks indicated otherwise.

Becky saw right through the blush and chuckled.

"You sure about that?"

Willow swallowed guiltily.

"It was an accident, okay? I didn't know she was still getting changed!"

"Whoa, I meant down her top!" Becky replied, eyes wider, "You watched her get changed?"

"It was an accident!" Willow repeated, "An accidental accident! I looked away!"

Becky smiled teasingly.

"And you said you were taking things slow."

"We are!" Willow replied, throwing her hands upwards, "It was an accident. She was pulling her top on, I turned around too quick, I looked away. And, okay, maybe I've liked touching her neck, and maybe, once or twice, she's worn a low-cut top, and I've wondered what it would be like to touch her there, but I'm not gonna pressure her! We want it to be special, and I don't even care if you tease me about that."

Becky looked over, a rare air of sincerity about her.

"I'm not gonna tease you about that. Your first time should be special."

Willow brought her knees up to her chest and shuffled around to face her best friend.

"Was your first time special?"

Becky's eyes flashed for a moment before she laughed, though Willow could tell it wasn't one of amusement.

"Oh yeah. Three beers, three thrusts and I was sore for three days after. So special I could barely stand it."

Willow looked apologetic.

"I'm really sorry, Becky. That sucks."

Becky inhaled a moment, then gave a soft but genuine smile.

"It's okay, I've had special times since."

Willow offered a smile, then looked away shyly.

Becky had never, apart from her usual teasing that Willow herself was well game for, belittled her lack sexual experience. She appreciated that for many reasons, not least of which was because the subject matter made her uncomfortable, at least for a conversation with a friend.

She'd long held the belief she wanted to wait for love until she became intimate with anyone – though didn't think there was anything wrong with people who didn't think the same – and for her that included any frank discussion of it. If Becky wanted to share details about her boyfriends with her, she'd listen, but when she and Tara grew more physical, that was something she wanted to keep between them.

She couldn't help but smile as she thought about Tara and looked down at the floor wistfully, before Becky suddenly jumped up and distracted her.

"Let's go out."

"Huh?" Willow asked, straightening her legs again, "Go out where?"

Becky shrugged but was already in the mirror to reapply her make-up.

"I dunno. One of the bars. One of them will have some decent music. We'll have a roommate night since we have a rare-Tara free night."

Willow's brow creased.

"What do you mean by that?"

Becky smiled over as she brushed some blusher over her cheeks.

"I mean that I couldn't be happier for my best friend to have found a girl she's really into."

Willow gave a small frown.

"Have I been neglecting our friendship? It's not that you're not important. Just…she's Tara and everything's so new."

Becky nodded and sat at her desk to pull some shoes.

"Uh huh, I know. And I think it's great. I'd also like to have lunch with you guys and get to know her more sometime soon…but since an opportunity has presented itself to us tonight…I say we carpe diem!"

"Carpe noctem," Willow corrected, "Carpe diem is seize the day. It's night time."

"So you're in?" Becky smiled, and Willow shrugged, then nodded, "Great! I'll even buy you a drink since I'm such an awesome friend."

Willow chucked.

"Alright, alright."

She stood up too and pocketed her wallet, but didn't bother with any make-up or changing clothes if they were just going to be listening to music. She heard the sound of Becky smacking her lips together as she applied some gloss before turning to her.

"Ready?"

Willow nodded.

"Uh huh."

Becky opened the door and led them out. They chatted idly as they walked towards the nearest block of campus bars, and followed their ears until they found a band they liked.

"What do you want?" Becky asked as they started to push their way through the people smoking at the entrance.

"Oh, uh, just an iced tea," Willow replied, raising her voice to accommodate the loud music.

Becky shot an annoyed glance at a man who pushed into her, then looked back at Willow.

"Are you worried about getting served? Because I know the bartender."

Willow shook her head.

"I'm meeting Tara for breakfast early, and it's not really my thing, anyway."

Becky grinned in what could have been classed as a trademarked mischievous way.

"Uh huh, okay. Iced tea. Go get us a good spot near the band."

Willow nodded and made her way towards the small sound stage at the end of the bar and two guys on guitar and drums were playing, with a female lead singer, and bounced around to the music. Becky appeared a couple of minutes later and offered her a glass.

"Here you go," she yelled over the music.

Willow took it with a smile and sipped through the straw, coughing slightly and making a funny face at the glass as she swallowed.

"It tastes kind of weird," she said, pulling Becky down and speaking into her ear, "Strong or something."

Becky held back a grin and gave a nonchalant shrug.

"It's a special blend they do here. It's from Long Island. Strong, um...tea leaves. It grows on you."

Willow shrugged and nodded, oblivious as she continued to sip on her drink. She had to admit, Becky was right.

It was growing on her.

* * *

A few hours and as many 'iced teas' later, Becky was grinding against some guy on the dance-floor and Willow was bouncing around to her own beat, giggling every time she stumbled, but didn't know why.

She sipped up the last of her drink, then pouted when the last droplet landed on her tongue. She glanced towards the bar, but it seemed to stretch out like a mile-long hallway, so just left her glass on the nearest table.

She looked around and began to feel very cramped as couples started to get hot and heavy around her, which then sparked an overwhelming need to see Tara.

She pushed her way through the crowds, doing a very admirable job of not falling on her ass along the way, and vigorously poked Becky in the shoulder.

"I'm going now!"

Becky dismissed her with a hand wave, much more interested in dancing with the tall, dark and handsome beau she was with. It took her another moment to register what Willow said, and while a little liquored up herself, knew better than to let her walk home alone when she'd fed her alcohol all night.

She pushed the guy away from her and spotted Willow's hair bobbing along in the crowd, so quickly followed.

"Willow! Wait up!"

Willow finally fought her way through the throngs and began skipping down the path, but only made it a few steps before the pebbled walkway got the better of her and she fell forward.

Becky rushed towards Willow as fast as she could manage in her stilettos and bent down to help her up.

"Okay there, Will, come on."

She checked to make sure Willow hadn't hurt herself, then put an arm around her waist to aid her in walking.

"You know, Becky, it's funny," Willow giggled and slurred as they walked, "'Cause I feel drunk, but all I had were iced teas! But those Long Island ones are yummy. I gotta hand it to those New Yorkers...they know their tea leaves. I didn't even know we grew tea leaves in the US. I thought it was in like...China and stuff."

Becky chuckled; drunk Willow was always an amusing sight to behold, even if the effects the next day weren't so. She figured it would take a couple of mochas for Willow to forgive her when she woke up hungover but that was a problem for tomorrow – they'd had a good night and that was all she cared about.

They turned the corner back into campus; Becky thankful she wouldn't have to drag Willow along anymore and made their way towards their building until a male voice called out to them.

"Yo, Becky!"

She stopped them in place and Willow thankfully didn't fall this time.

"Hi Paul," Becky said coyly as she recognised the man approaching them, "How's it going?"

"Good," Paul smiled an easy smile, then looked curiously at Willow, "Who's this?"

"I'm Willow!" Willow replied with a hiccup and a giggle, "Oh, oh, you're Paul! The hunk!"

Becky nudged her in the ribs, but Willow didn't pick that up as a direction to shut up.

"I don't really know 'cause I don't do the whole guy thing, I'm a booby girl myself. Oh and I have a really hot girlfriend who has really incredible boobies but ssshhh 'cause I'm not supposed to know that. Hehe. Tara-boobies."

Willow went off into her own little world while Becky stood there wishing the world would open up and swallow her, but Paul took it all in his stride.

"So, Becky, apart from, ah, chaperoning the booby-lover here, are you doing anything tonight?"

Becky looked momentarily relieved before smiling.

"Well it's 2am...haven't found something to keep my interests yet."

"Hey, the night's still young," Paul replied with a charming smile, "I know a late-night bar we could go to. Or just head back to my place."

Becky wasn't completely drunk, but she was definitely tipsy enough to be easily wooed.

"We could head back to yours," she replied with a nonchalant shrug, "Just...chill."

Paul flashed his teeth and offered his arm.

Becky went to take it, then remembered Willow and took her firmly by the shoulder.

"Hey, Will, can you get the rest of the way home by yourself? That's our building right there. See? Right there."

She pointed just ahead of them and Willow nodded enthusiastically, suddenly realising how close Tara was.

"Yep! Bye!"

She offered a wave, then ran off as fast as she could as Becky took Paul's arm and let herself be led away.

Inside the building, Willow had taken to counting the doors along the hallway by feeling them, having found the numbers too blurry to read when she tried.

"Seven...eight...nine...nine! Nine! Tara's nine!" she announced to no one and began banging loudly on the door, "Ta-ra! It's meee!"

She continued rapping at the door and calling through it loudly until it finally swung open and Willow fell forwards into the room, landing on her ass and giggling.

"I keep doing that!"

Tara dropped down and put a hand on the small of Willow's back.

"Willow, are you okay?

Willow looked into Tara's eyes with her own glassy ones, then began nuzzling into her neck.

"You're so pretty."

Tara reached out to nudge the door closed, then looked at Willow in confusion.

"Willow?" she asked, lifting her head to look at her, "Are you drunk?"

"Nope!" Willow declared with a definitive shake of her head, "Nope, no alcohol. Just iced tea. Lots and lots of yummy iced teas."

Tara could smell the alcohol on Willow's breath.

"Were they Long Island iced teas?"

Willow went wide-eyed.

"How'd you know?! Are you psychic? Are you a witch!?"

Tara sighed and rubbed Willow's back.

"Long Island iced teas have a lot of alcohol in them."

Willow shook her head again.

"But I said…I said I just wanted an iced tea…and Becky…" she stopped and thought as much as her hazy mind would allow, "Oh."

Tara's eyebrows rose.

"Your friend got you drunk without you knowing?"

Willow shrugged.

"She's a jokester!"

"That's not a very funny joke," Tara replied, appalled.

Willow suddenly giggled again.

"Do you wanna hear a funny joke? What did the bra say to the hat?" she asked, before promptly grabbing Tara's breasts as she delivered the punchline, "You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift!"

Tara went wide-eyed and pushed Willow's hands away.

"Willow!" she exclaimed in shock and embarrassment.

Willow turned her head back into Tara's neck and made another grab for her.

"You don't need a lift, you're perfect."

Tara gripped Willow's wrists and moved back.

"Willow, stop."

Willow pouted and crossed her arms over her chest, then moved them up to clutch her head.

"I don't feel too good."

Tara moved to rub Willow's back again.

"Do you want some water?" she asked sympathetically, not wanting to stay mad when it apparently wasn't even Willow's fault she was inebriated.

Willow buried her head into her chest and nodded. Tara went and got a bottle of cold water from her mini-fridge and brought it over, twisting the cap off.

"Take a sip, sweetie," she encouraged.

Willow closed her mouth over the top and took a long, steady swig, before slumping forwards again. Tara secured the bottle again, then wrapped her arm around Willow's waist and encouraged her up.

"Come on, honey, you can sleep it off."

Willow shook her head petulantly.

"No, Tara, I missed you."

"You can stay over," Tara replied softly, helping her over to the bed, "I'll get you something to change into."

"Wait, wait," Willow responded as seriously as she could manage, "Did you finish your assignment?"

Tara couldn't help a small smile.

"Yes, Willow, I finished it."

"Good," Willow replied with a nod coupled with a hiccup, then started to shake herself free of her pants, "I'll just sleep like this!"

Tara found herself watching Willow's panties-covered butt wiggle as she crawled up the bed, but quickly diverted her gaze when she realised what she was doing.

"A-are you sure you don't want some sweats?" she asked, peering at the ceiling as Willow clambered between the sheets.

"Nuh uh," Willow shook her head, cuddling into the mattress, "Just my girlfriend."

She smiled, then giggled.

"That's you!"

Tara lifted the sheet just enough to slip under and reached to turn the lamp on her nightstand off.

"Goodnight, Wi–"

She didn't quite get to finish as Willow was suddenly on her, kissing her somewhat sloppily.

She had a moment of fright; the combination of the smell of alcohol and hands on her flashing to memories she'd rather not have, but it dissolved in a second. Willow may have had wandering hands when her inhibitions weren't all there, but she wouldn't hurt her.

She very gently pushed Willow's shoulders back.

"Let's go to sleep now, Willow."

Willow's eyes had become even glassier and she dropped her mouth to Tara's ear.

"I think about touching you and it makes my tummy feel funny."

Tara's cheeks flushed, both at Willow's admission and her thinking that she had had the same thoughts. She felt Willow's hand creeping up her top again and had a moment of wanting to let her continue, before coming to her senses and stopping her.

Letting Willow touch her was one thing; letting her do so drunk was another, and it wasn't fair to either of them or their relationship.

"Do you want to cuddle?" she asked as calmly as she could, hoping it would placate her girlfriend.

Willow seemed to consider that a moment, then smiled.

"Uh huh! Can I be the little spoon?"

"Um, sure," Tara replied, turning on her side and opening her arms.

Willow snuggled her back into Tara's front and settled her head on the pillow.

Two hiccups and a murmur later, she was fast asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**StephenPG** – Hey there! :) Glad you're enjoying it! And yep, Tara's mad…but she's still Tara.

**Willowtarafan4life** – Hey, you didn't offend me, sorry if I came off as snippy. What I meant was, I have a style I enjoy writing and since I write for fun, I'm going to do what I enjoy. I so appreciate all my readers :)

**Queenphoenix08** – Hi! Glad you enjoyed the joke and drunk Willow!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Depending on the height of the building, you'll have gone on a murderous rampage with duck-shaped bullets, or you'll brighten up some little kid's day by making it rain duckies!

You should try the peaches. Come over to the dark side.

LOL that pretty much sums Willow up to a tee

Becky was dealt a rough deal there, but your first partner being a drunken mess at the time is not conducive to a good time! But with the feeding Willow alcohol, there is no excuse for that. Her brain definitely did not engage once that night. Tara will definitely be mad (and as much as I'd enjoy some Take-Charge Tara) I don't think she's at a place yet where she'd tear Becky a new one. Her confidence is growing every day, but she's still the girl who had to go splash her face in the bathroom because she was subjected to a little teasing.

Tara'll always take care of Willow! If everything else changed in the world, that never would :)

Lol, glad you got the joke :P

**FineyMcFine** – Hey JMT! Fancy seeing you here! :P I was told once that if a Long Island Iced Tea is made right, you can't even taste the alcohol (which I think is probably bullshit but it suited this chapter, so I'm going with it :P) Tara is definitely annoyed! She's not quite at the stage of a smack-down yet, but definitely pissed!

* * *

Willow felt a stream of light hit the back of her eyelids, stirring her from her peaceful slumber. Her hand idly reached out as if trying to bat it away, but the process of movement suddenly caused a bombardment of conflicting sets of sensations.

Her body felt warm. And tingly. She was very aware of the feeling of a strong and protective arm thrown over her waist and a body curled around her, as well as soft, warm breath hitting her ear.

That was good. She liked all of that.

What she didn't like was the constant, harsh throbbing pulsing through her head, or the way her mouth felt like it had been glued together. She attempted to move again, but it just made her head spin.

"Ohhhhh," she groaned as the sunlight really hit her eyes, before croaking, "Go away."

Tara's eyes fluttered open when she felt movement next to her, but just smiled when she was confronted with a mop of red hair. She hadn't quite remembered the circumstances as to how Willow ended up in her bed yet, and was just appreciating that she was there.

"Good morning."

Willow opened her mouth to speak but couldn't quite manage anything more than another groan. Tara blinked a few times, then recalled the previous night's events and began to rub Willow's arm comfortingly.

"Are you a little hungover, sweetie?"

Willow shook her head very slowly, each pounding inside sending a wave of nausea to her stomach.

"No…just had iced tea. Wait…what am I doing here?"

"You don't remember what happened last night?" Tara asked, wondering if she'd have to explain.

Willow's brow creased in thought as she tried to recall. She remembered going to the bar, and the new kind of iced tea she'd tried, then starting to feel loosened up. There were flashes of dancing and laughing, but most of the night was lost in a haze.

"Did someone spike my drink?" she asked eventually, confused by the haziness and the pain in her face and head.

"Well, yes, kind of," Tara replied softly, "Those 'iced teas' were full of alcohol."

"What?" Willow asked in disbelief, "No, no, I remember...Becky said something about them...they're from Long Island. They grow the leaves especially so they're really strong but taste really good."

Tara shook her head.

"No honey, Long Island Iced Tea doesn't even have any iced tea in it. Just _a lot_of alcohol."

"Becky said it was just the special blend," Willow replied, bringing her hand up to massage her temple, "I can't believe she did that…I can't believe I was that stupid. Who doesn't even realise that they're getting completely wasted?"

Tara continued to rub her arm but looked less than amused.

"It wasn't a very nice thing to do."

Willow frowned.

"She wasn't trying to be mean," she defended weakly, "Not to go all psych-girl, but the only attention she got from her parents when she was little was when she was funny, so now she treats everything in life as a joke, something to mess around with."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"That's okay until you bring someone else into it."

Willow nodded; she made a lot of allowances for her best friend because she knew in her heart she never meant to be malicious, but this was more than idle teasing.

"She crossed a line, I'm not supporting what she did."

Tara just nodded but didn't say anything. She didn't feel it was her place to make a comment on Willow and Becky's friendship.

"So, uh, did she drop me off here?" Willow continued after a moment, things starting to piece together again.

Tara exhaled slowly, then shook her head.

"No. "

"Then how did I get he–" Willow started to ask before her hands flew to her face as she remembered, "Oh god, oh god. If your neighbours complain, send them right to me, okay?"

"No one came out to complain," Tara replied softly, wanting to reassure.

Willow shook her head between her hands, utterly embarrassed, until she started to remember what had happened, or rather what her hands had done, when she'd been let in.

"Oh, Tara," she said, tone full of remorse, "Tara…I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry."

Tara's cheeks flushed and she brought the sheet over her chest a little self-consciously.

"It's okay, I know you weren't yourself," she replied, tucking a piece of hair behind her own ear, "We can forget it all happened if you want."

Willow looked completely ashamed.

"You were so nice, let me stay, made me feel better."

Tara gave a shy shrug.

"That's what girlfriends do."

"Then I'm a lousy one," Willow replied dejectedly.

"No, Willow," Tara shook her head, hating to see Willow so down on herself, "Let's just forget it, okay? Really."

Willow nodded.

"Thanks," she replied, then found a whole new reason to blush when she put her hands on her thighs, expecting fabric where there was none, "So that would be no pants I'm wearing."

Tara looked away and slid out of the bed.

"You wouldn't take any sweats," she explained as she went to her dresser and got a pair, trying to control the volume of her voice as she thought about that wiggle she'd gotten a glimpse of, "Here you go."

She turned around as Willow pulled the pants up her leg and pretended to busy herself with folding things until she heard the bathroom door close. She sat back on her bed and took some slow exhalations to control the pulsing in her belly.

"I look like death," Willow's gruff voice came a minute later as she walked from the bathroom and crawled back into the bed, "And I feel like it too."

Tara reached over and brushed some hair from her brow.

"Do you want some Tylenol?"

"Do you have any?" Willow asked hopefully.

Tara went to her nightstand and pulled the drawer open. She rooted and found a bottle of painkillers, then offered it to Willow and went to the mini-fridge.

"Apple or orange?"

"Apple, please," Willow replied, struggling to open the childproof bottle.

Tara took an apple juice box and pierced the straw through the foil opening. She closed the fridge and went back to Willow, handing her juice box, then took the bottle of pills and twisted it open easily.

"Thanks," Willow replied sheepishly, shaking two white pills into her hands and swallowing them with a mouthful of juice, "Tara, I promise something like this won't happen again. Waking you up the middle of the night and…everything."

Tara smiled shyly.

"I wasn't sleeping too well anyway. I've kind of gotten used to you being here."

Willow wasn't sure if the pills had kicked in or whether Tara's smile just had a natural effect on her, but she felt her headache begin to lift and leaned up to press a kiss against her girlfriend's cheek.

Tara smiled again and was about to give Willow one back, when, for the second time in only a matter of hours, someone began knocking manically at the door.

"If that's a neighbour, just point to me," Willow said as Tara went to answer the door, "Seriously, you don't even have to take a second of shouting, I know you hate it."

Tara cautiously opened the door and peeked out, to see a frazzled looking Becky standing there.

"Is Willow here?!"

Tara had barely answered with a 'yes' before Becky pushed her way into the room, spotted Willow and ran over, throwing her arms around her neck.

"Oh thank god! I got home this morning and you're bed wasn't slept in and I kept calling your cell but it was just sitting there on your desk ringing out. Jesus, Willow, I had no idea what happened to you!"

Tara closed the door and folded her arms over her chest.

"That tends to happen when you feed someone alcohol, then leave them to fend for themselves."

Tara cheeks flushed at her unusual outburst, but she was definitely feeling some anger towards Becky – and that wasn't something she felt often. Becky looked equally surprised and stung at Tara's words – it definitely wasn't something she expected from the demure girlfriend of her best friend.

Willow opened her mouth, intending to back her girlfriend up, but Tara apparently felt the awkwardness and disappeared into the bathroom.

The sound of the shower starting came a moment later and Becky pulled at the collar of her shirt.

"So...she's pissed."

Willow's eyes flashed in annoyance.

"Yeah, she is. I've been told that apparently Long Island iced tea isn't just a special blend of tea from New York."

Becky snorted.

"Come on, that was funny."

"No it wasn't, Becky!" Willow replied, showing an assertive side she never had with her best friend, "How do you not see that? You basically spiked my drinks! How would you react if a guy had done this to me?"

Becky wasn't sure what to say, so pushed a white paper bag she had in her hand forwards.

"I got you a muffin…a mocha too, but I kind of dropped it when I saw you didn't make it home," she replied, then swallowed, her eyes creasing, "I really messed up, didn't I?"

Willow sighed.

"Becky, look…I know you weren't trying to be mean…"

Becky shook her head.

"I just wanted to help you loosen up."

"That's my choice," Willow replied curtly.

She could forgive her friend encouraging her to get wasted when she was aware of what she was drinking, immature as it may be, but being so devious about it wasn't okay. Not least of which was because it had disrupted Tara so much, which was probably the biggest contributing factor as to why she was speaking up and not just letting it slide like she might have before.

Becky hung her head down.

"I'm sorry."

A genuine apology wasn't something that left Becky's lips often, so Willow wasn't sure if it actually was.

"I can accept that if you really mean it and won't ever do that to me, or anyone, again."

Becky nodded.

"I do and I won't. Honestly."

Willow nodded too.

"Okay, Becky. I'm still kinda mad, but I'll get over it."

Becky felt a little stung still but knew for once that she deserved it.

"Did you come straight here at least? You didn't get lost?"

"I came straight here," Willow answered, still a little cool, "At 2am. Wasted. I'm very lucky I have a forgiving girlfriend."

Becky looked suitably chastised.

"I'll apologise to her too."

Willow glanced towards the bathroom door.

"I'll talk to her and see if she's willing to hear that."

"Are we still friends?" Becky asked, feeling a little heartbroken at the thought of not.

Willow took a slow breath before answering.

"Yes. And we can move past it. But I'm feeling a little too hungover to do so right this second."

Becky nodded, sensing she best leave.

"I have to get to my American Literature class anyway. I'm really sorry, Will."

Willow wasn't one to make someone feel guilty for longer than necessary, so offered as much of a smile as she could manage.

"We're good, Becky. I'm just too tired to hold a conversation."

Becky exhaled a sigh of relief and stood up.

"Thanks. Okay, I gotta run."

Willow waved her off, then lay back down on the bed, her stomach doing a few flips at the thought of eating the muffin she was offered. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into Tara's pillow, enjoying the lingering scent of her it held.

She was close to drifting back to sleep, when a faint sound sparked some consciousness. She identified the sound as singing and after another moment, realised it was coming from the bathroom.

_Hey, that's Tara...wow, she's really good!_

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you something... I think you'll understand... When I say that something... I wanna hold your hand... I wanna hold your ha-aa-and, I wanna hold your hand..."

Willow smiled as she listened, humming along quietly herself until the singing stopped at the same time as the shower.

Tara appeared through the doorway a couple of minutes later in a white robe, towel drying her hair.

"Becky's gone," Willow said quietly as Tara walked over to her dresser.

"I know," Tara replied as she picked up her hairbrush, "I heard the door bang."

Willow was distracted for a moment by watching Tara brush her hair, imagining running her fingers through the silken locks, before focusing.

"She's sorry. She wanted to apologise to you, too, but I said I'd talk to you about it first."

Tara went to the closet to find some clothes.

"It's none of my business, she's your friend."

"I think she'd like to be yours too," Willow replied, turning over to give Tara some privacy to change, "She told me yesterday…before we went out. That she'd like to spend some time with us and get to know you."

Tara kept her robe on as she got her underwear on.

"Okay."

Willow thought she still heard some resentment in Tara's tone.

"She's really sorry. She meant it, and she doesn't mean it often. I don't want to hold a grudge."

Tara tied her robe around herself again and walked over to the bed, leaning over to leave the kiss on Willow's cheek she'd been interrupted from before.

"You shouldn't. And I'm not mad you ended up here in the middle of the night, I'm…upset at the danger it posed to you," she replied, stroking Willow's cheek affectionately, "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

Willow leaned in to Tara's touch.

"You're so sweet," she said, marvelling at how easy Tara was able to comfort her, "Becky fucked up and she knows it. And I told her we'd be friends again but that it would take a little while. I understand if you don't feel the same way."

Tara thought for a moment, then smiled softly.

"As long as you're happy, I am too."

"You don't have to just agree to that," Willow replied, leaving her hand over Tara's, "You're allowed have feelings even if she's my friend. Well, not feelings _for _my friend, but about my friend. Or the situation involving my friend."

Tara smiled again and tapped Willow's nose affectionately.

"You're so cute," she said, then turned her hand to press their palms together, "Resentment never got anyone anywhere. If you want to move on, I do too."

Willow smiled too.

"You're the best, Tara."

Tara smiled shyly and gave Willow's hand a squeeze before going back to the closet to continue getting changed.

"So, you like The Beatles, huh?" Willow asked after a moment, remembering the sweet sound of her girlfriend singing.

Tara's hand stilled from taking a shirt off a hanger.

"You could hear that?"

"You've got a wonderful voice, baby," Willow replied, having picked up on the embarrassed tone, "You should sing more often, I'd listen to you all day."

Tara blushed but resumed putting her clothes on.

"My Mom loved them," she eventually replied, "The Beatles. She always used to play them when she was cooking. On the weekends we'd make pancakes and have a sing-a-long."

"That's adorable," Willow said with a smile at the image, "I bet you were such a cutie. Hey, there's a British pub a couple of blocks away, I've passed it a few times. I think they have cover bands a lot, I could check it out and see if they have any Beatles ones."

"A pub?" Tara asked a little uneasily.

"I won't be drinking," Willow replied, feeling her stomach lurch at the thought, "We don't have to go or anything, it was just an idea."

Tara left her robe on the back on the bathroom door, then went back to Willow.

"That's a sweet idea. I'd love to go with you," she replied, stroking Willow's cheek tenderly as she took in her pale features, "I don't think you're up for breakfast."

Willow's face fell and she immediately pushed herself up.

"No, I'm totally fine!"

She tried to prove that by jumping up from the bed, but found her knees unwillingly to comply. Tara caught her before she hit the ground.

"Thanks," Willow replied with a swallow, her heart pounding a little, "I overestimated myself."

Tara eased her back up and onto the bed.

"What classes do you have today?"

"None," Willow replied, a little embarrassed, "I normally have Chem Lab but it's postponed for a week."

Tara tucked the blanket in around her.

"Good. You can just rest for the day," she replied, then sighed, "I have to go to my French class and hand that assignment in."

"Okay," Willow said, grimacing at the idea of having to stand again, "You'll have to help me upstairs."

"You can stay here, sweetheart," Tara replied with a smile.

Willow sank back down into the bed gratefully.

"You don't mind?"

Tara shook her head.

"I'd stay with you if I could," she replied as she went over to her desk to gather her things in her satchel, "Just pull the door closed if you leave."

"Okay," Willow answered in a mumble, already beginning to drift off again, "Bye Tara."

Tara arranged her bag over her shoulder, then went to leave a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek before leaving.

She knew she had a whole day of classes to focus on, but she would be hard-pushed to get her thoughts far from Willow.

* * *

Tara drudged along the sidewalk back to her dorm, a long day of classes on top of the disturbed sleep from the night before having worn her out.

She perked up a little by the time she was walking down her hallway, hoping an afternoon with Willow was on the cards.

"You still here, sweetie?" she asked as she walked through her door, and saw Willow was in the exact same position in she'd left her in that morning, "You haven't gotten very far."

"Can't move," Willow whined, head buried in the pillow, "Tylenol wore off hours ago."

"Why didn't you take more?" Tara asked, leaving her satchel down and walking over to sit beside her, "You can take another dose after four hours."

Willow peeked one eye open.

"Didn't want to go through your stuff."

Tara reached into the drawer of her nightstand and retrieved the bottle of pills again.

"I don't mind, it's mostly junk."

Willow took the pills and swallowed them with the last of her juice box.

"Can I have a hug?" she asked a moment later, still whiny.

Tara lay down and cuddled into Willow, smiling affectionately.

"You're needy when you're not feeling well."

"Am I the most annoying person on earth?" Willow asked, pouting slightly.

Tara gently rubbed Willow's arm.

"No, you're cute."

Willow smiled a little at that and nuzzled into Tara's shoulder.

"Well don't worry, because I never get sick and I'm _never _drinking again."

Tara brushed her fingers against Willow's cheek, not liking how pale she'd gotten.

"Have you eaten anything today?

Willow shook her head.

"My stomach feels all blech-y."

"Going hungry isn't going to help that," Tara replied in concern, "I'll go get you something."

"Nooo. You were gone all day," Willow complained, "We just established I am very needy today."

"I won't be long, I promise," Tara replied, "You need to eat something, sweetie."

Willow pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Fine. I don't need to be snuggled."

"Please let me get you something," Tara replied gently, "I could make you some toast, the dorm kitchen is just across the hall. I have some bread."

Willow made a dramatic attempt at sitting up.

"I can do it. I want to get some Coke."

Tara stood up and gestured for her to lie back down.

"I can get you some Coke," she replied, going over to scrape some coins together on her desk.

"Wait, I have some in my room," Willow said quickly, not wanting Tara to waste a single quarter on her, "Really, Tara, you're being too nice. I'll go."

"Willow, it's okay," Tara replied with a smile, "I don't mind going upstairs."

Willow looked conflicted.

"Am I taking complete advantage of you?"

Tara shook her head.

"No, Willow."

Willow couldn't help but smile every time Tara said her name, loving the flutter it gave her belly.

"Thank you, Tara. My keys should be in my pocket. Hopefully."

Tara found Willow's jeans on the floor and fished the keys from her pocket.

"Got 'em. I'll be back in a five minutes."

She took the bread she'd wrapped up at breakfast from her satchel, then left and quickly went upstairs. She fumbled with Willow's keys a moment before getting them in the lock, then opened the door.

She expected the room to be empty, so jumped a little when she saw Becky sitting cross-legged on her bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I would've knocked if I knew you were here. I-I didn't mean to just barge in."

"That's okay," Becky replied, though looked concerned, "Is everything okay?"

Tara nodded.

"Willow just wanted some of her soda."

Becky looked away for a moment, then stood up, playing nervously with her hands in front of her.

"Tara, I owe you an apology."

Tara shuffled uncomfortably.

"I-It's okay."

Becky shook her head.

"No, it's not. I get that now."

"Willow said you sorted things out," Tara replied, feeling more than a little awkward.

"Yeah, we did. She's a great friend. I won't risk that again," Becky said genuinely, "I'd like to be friends with you, too. Maybe we could all have lunch sometime."

Tara just nodded; quite willing to spend time with Willow's friend if that's what her girlfriend wanted.

"Uh huh, okay."

Becky caught on to Tara's discomfort and offered her a smile.

"Willow's crazy about you, you know," she said, sitting back down on her bed, "You should know that."

Tara appeared to be over the moon upon hearing that.

"Thanks," she replied, bouncing almost Willow-like on her toes, "I'll, um, get out of your hair."

She turned for the door, but Becky called out to her before she opened it.

"Wait, weren't you getting soda for Willow?"

Tara turned back around with a blush and nodded, spotting the mini-fridge. She took a couple of cans in her spare hand, then went for the door again.

"Bye," she said in a friendly tone as she left, and received a wave back.

She went back downstairs and to the small dorm kitchen, which was thankfully empty. She left the bread in the toaster oven and waited patiently for it to brown before returning to Willow.

"Tara, that was _not _five minutes," Willow griped as Tara entered and kicked the door closed, "It was more like...it was at least..."

She cast a glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand before finishing sheepishly.

"At least seven."

"Sorry," Tara replied, coming over to offer Willow her, her toast and drinks, "Becky was in your room and we talked."

Willow looked up.

"Oh? Did she say sorry?" she asked, receiving a nod of confirmation, "So do you think you guys are okay?"

Tara nodded again and Willow looked visibly relieved.

"Good. Great. I hate when there's conflict."

Tara smiled, then went to her satchel again.

"I have some butter packs. And some, um," she rooted around a moment before pulling out a few small containers, "Grape jelly."

"Yes, please," Willow replied keenly, "I love grape jelly."

Tara found a plastic knife and brought it all over for Willow to spread on her toast. Willow busied herself doing that while Tara brought out a deck of tarot cards from her drawer and began shuffling them.

"You were right, this is helping," Willow said through a mouthful, appreciating the feeling of it hitting her stomach and settling her nausea, "Are those tarot cards?"

"Uh huh," Tara nodded, "Do you want to choose some?"

"Sure!" Willow agreed, feeling perkier after a slug of Coke, "What do I do?"

Tara offered the cards.

"Shuffle them first."

Willow shuffled through the cards quickly.

"Now what?"

"You split the deck in three and pick the top card from each," Tara explained, smoothing out the bedspread between them, "The first represents your past, the second your present and the third your future."

Willow split the cards into three piles, then turned the top card from the first one over.

"I like the illustrations," she said as she looked down at it, "What does the Hermit card mean?

"Isolation and loneliness…" Tara replied, sadly, "Withdrawal."

Willow blinked a few times, then puffed out a breath.

"Glad that's my past," she quipped, then turned over her second card, "Ace of Cups? That's not as self-explanatory."

Tara's cheeks tinged a light red.

"It, um, represents the beginning of love."

"Oh," Willow replied, smiling to herself.

She wrapped her arms around herself for a second, enjoying the warmth that spread through her as she thought about that, then turned over the last card.

"Lovers," she read, suddenly feeling like a swarm of butterflies had landed in her belly, "What, um…what does that mean?"

Tara felt Willow's hand move over hers.

"It means, um, strong connection and attraction…" she answered, then looked up to Willow's eyes, her gaze soft and shy, "I-it often indicates a soulmate bond."

Willow felt her heard begin to pound and rubbed Tara's fingers with her own.

"I didn't much believe in this stuff before."

"Do you now?" Tara asked quietly.

Willow looked down at the three cards, then smiled up at Tara.

"Yeah. I think I do."


	10. Chapter 10

**Queenphoenix08 – **Becky was definitely sorry, but she needed a proverbial bitch slap to see it. Glad you're enjoying this!

**Errik's angel** – Eating when drinking is like the first 9 of the 10 commandments :P Luckily Tara happens to love all incarnations of Willow, including hideously drink! And thanks, the tarot cards were literally added at the last second but I liked the idea…and definitely soulmates!

**CurlyAkemy** – Who doesn't love snuggles? Haha, wow, I don't actually drink myself so I couldn't partake of the Iced Teas, but I'll watch other people fall over! That's always fun!

**Emerald Demona** – I'm glad you're enjoying it! It took her months for under-the-sweater action…she got a little over-action before that ;)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Well maybe not kill, but it could definitely leave a big bump if it was dropped from high enough!

Darn, another one lost to the light!

I don't drink, but I went through a kind of rebellious period when I was about 15 and hangovers…definitely not pleasant. It's like getting hit by a truck and then it backs up over your head.

Poor Tara has no idea what to do in those kind of social situations…I think she handled it well though…as well as she could!

If I had to overdose on anything, it would be fluff! :D

**Willowtarafan4life** – Well I'll fit in what I can since this is a W/T fic after all, but if you're ever curious about anything else, I have a full back story, so you can always ask :)

**Missocki** – Glad you're enjoying it! :)

* * *

"This one or this one?"

Willow held up a purple blouse with questionable puffy shoulders and a yellow button-down shirt with smiley-faced suns embossed on each button.

Not for the first time, Becky stared in disbelief at what came out of her roommate's closet, before marching over to look through for herself.

Willow hung back; leaving the tops Becky obviously didn't approve of on her bed and closed her robe more securely over herself, a little self-conscious.

"This one!" Becky finally announced, pulling out a short-sleeved red blouse with a chunky black belt coming around from the back.

Willow looked it up and down warily.

"Uh, Becky, I dunno. It's kinda...not very me."

Becky rolled her eyes and thrust it towards her.

"Come on, Will, I got you this for Christmas last year and you haven't worn it once! Or that halterneck I got you for your birthday."

Willow shook her head.

"Actually, I wore that on Valentine's Day with Tara."

"And did she like it?" Becky prompted, grinning a little.

Willow's cheeks flushed.

"She complimented it, yeah."

Becky all but tossed the shirt at Willow.

"Well there you go."

Willow held the shirt up by the hanger, unconvinced.

"But this…" she trailed off and looked down at herself, "It's really more for someone who has something to show in...you know, the chest area."

Becky regarded the shirt for a second, then went rooting through the closet again. She pulled something out a minute later.

"Wonderbra!"

"Becky!" Willow squealed, grabbing the bra and hiding it behind her back, blushing profusely, "I don't have a Wonderbra!"

Becky rolled her eyes but placated her.

"Well let's say if you did, then it would help with…letting that shirt sit nicely," she replied as diplomatically as possible, "Come on, Willow, you're not going to give Tara a little peek at the goods?"

Willow pulled her robe tighter again.

"There's no 'goods' to look at."

"Tara didn't seem to think that yesterday," Becky replied in a teasing tone.

Willow's brow creased.

"What are you talking about?"

Becky shrugged, grinning still.

"Just that I noticed when we were all having lunch yesterday, that she was having a little trouble keeping her eyes upwards after you took your sweater off."

Willow eyed Becky suspiciously.

"You're making that up."

"What would I possibly gain from making that up?" Becky asked with a laugh, "She tried to make it seem like she was just picking a piece of lint off her shirt, but trust me, there was definite ogling."

Willow blushed but couldn't help feeling pleased.

"Oh. Well then maybe I'll give the shirt a try," she replied, removing it from the hanger, then looking at Becky who hadn't moved, "If Tara likes to look, then I'm sure she wants to be the only person doing it!"

Becky rolled her eyes playfully and went back to her side of the room, checking herself in the mirror.

"Does this skirt make my thighs look chunky?"

Willow glanced over her shoulder as she attempted to secure the belt under her breasts, unused to having the accessory in such a high place.

"I dunno."

Becky pulled at the end of her skirt and sighed.

"Willow, the answer to that question, or any variant, is always 'no'. And considering you're dating a woman, I've just given you the best advice of your life."

Willow scoffed.

"I would never tell Tara she looks chunky, she's beautiful."

"Oh great, reserve your insults for your fat best friend," Becky replied though her tone was indicative of her just playing around, "I'll be your punching bag."

Willow was too busy fighting with the belt to respond, before finally yelping in triumph as she secured it.

"I still think this is a weird place to have a belt," she commented, pulling the end of her shirt into place and catching a glimpse of her quite generously exposed cleavage in the process, "Whoa. Look at those."

Becky turned again to look at the finished product and whistled approvingly.

"I knew it would look great on you! Why don't you trust my fashion sense more?"

"Because I also enjoy breathing on a regular basis," Willow replied, tugging at the belt a little.

"Overrated," Becky shrugged, squeezing her feet into a pair of heels, "And now, my dear, I must leave you to your boring monogamy and go find a pack of sweaty guys to dance with."

Willow picked up random pieces of her hair, trying to make it do something other than its normal 'flat'.

"Things not going well with Paul?"

Becky shrugged.

"I dunno. I don't think either of us wants anything serious right now. He's good for a bit of fun. And I can't really figure him out. Sometimes he's a jackass, mostly when his friends are around, sometimes he's a sweetheart," she replied before sighing dramatically, "Men. Can't live with 'em...but you can't live without 'em. What can you do about them?"

"Alright, Gladys Knight," Willow replied teasingly, "Hey, if it's not right, it's not right. And trust me, you know when you've got the real thing."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Becky rolled her eyes, though good-naturedly, "Tara's great, Tara's perfect, Tara's beautiful."

"Yep!" Willow replied cheerily, seemingly pleased with herself, "She is. And she's mine."

Becky started to make her way towards the door.

"Well, on that sickly sweet note, I'm leaving."

"On the midnight train to Georgia?" Willow quipped, laughing at her own joke as Becky just shook her head and left.

Willow continued to giggle to herself as she brushed her hair through again. She spent another few minutes in the mirror pulling and tugging at the shirt before she decided to stop over-analysing.

She checked the time and wondered if she'd given Tara enough time to change as well since leaving earlier. Not wanting to land on her in the middle of changing, she went over to the dorm phone and dialled down to her room.

"Hello?" Tara's voice came on the other end, a little confused as to who would be calling her.

"Hey, are you ready?" Willow asked, unable to hide her eagerness, "Can I come get you?"

"Uh huh, sure."

Willow beamed.

"Be right down!"

She hung up the phone and went to find a jacket, finding a bright orange zip-up, disregarding the colour clash with her shirt. She shrugged it on, but only zipped it up half-way.

A quick pat of her pockets made sure she had her wallet and keys with her, and she left her room in darkness to make her way back to Tara's.

She knocked and waited for the door to open, which Tara did so only seconds later. Tara was wearing a fitted but flowing black dress that was splashed with a green and orange floral design down the front and sides, with a deep V neck, a simple silver chain hanging between.

"Holy...yikes!" Willow exclaimed, appreciating the figure hugging around her girlfriend's waist "Tara, you look amazing."

Tara closed the door behind them as Willow walked in, then started adjusting the shoulders of the dress.

"Is this okay? I didn't know what to wear."

Willow smiled at her.

"You look beautiful."

Tara blushed.

"So do you," she replied, then couldn't help a coy look downwards and very much noticed the care Willow had taken in dressing, "That's a nice, um, jacket."

Willow may not have noticed any 'ogling' before, but she definitely saw it now.

"It's new," she replied, feeling an odd mix of pleased embarrassment.

Tara's stuck gaze was becoming less and less discreet.

"It's very pretty...it looks...soft...and...round..."

Willow's cheeks were flushing, but there was a noticeable grin on her face.

"Round?"

Tara's head snapped up, her hands toying nervously in front of her. She hoped her cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

"I meant, um, astound. It looks… astounding on you."

Willow had to commend Tara for her quick thinking-on-her-feet, but couldn't resist teasing her a little.

"Do you want to touch it?" she asked, trying not to giggle when Tara's eyes went wide, "You said you thought it looks soft...it is."

Tara tentatively reached out and brushed her fingers against the fabric, keeping it to the relatively neutral zone of Willow's arm.

"Definitely soft," she replied, managing to do so without a squeak, "I'll just go to the bathroom and we can leave."

Willow watched Tara scurry off to the bathroom, then when the door was safely closed, took a hold of her breasts through her shirt, giving them a commendable squeeze.

"Wow, this really is a Wonderbra," she muttered to herself, and dropped her hands again but still looked smug, "Tara can't keep her eyes off of you, ladies. Well done."

"Who're you talking to?"

Willow felt a slap of karma hit her for teasing Tara earlier as she was almost caught talking to her own breasts.

"N-nothing, no one," she replied, clearing her throat, "You ready?"

"Yes," Tara replied, grabbing a small clutch purse.

Willow opened the two doors out of Tara's room and the building as they left, then offered her hand. Tara took it without hesitation.

Willow looked down at their gently swinging hands and smiled.

"If I say something super sappy will you promise not to laugh?"

Tara looked over to her and smiled back.

"Of course."

Willow mused for a moment before continuing with her thought.

"From when I was little, I was taught to be proud of achievements, or well, my academics. So, I was really proud every time I brought an 'A' home…mostly I guess because it was the only attention I ever got. But even now, when I don't even talk to my parents, when I get a good grade…I feel so proud."

"You should feel proud, you work so hard," Tara replied warmly.

Willow's smile turned bashful.

"Well here comes the sappy. As proud as those things make me feel…when I'm holding your hand, walking down the street, and I get to kind of show you off, you know, as my girl…that's when I feel most proud."

Tara found herself completely speechless, which Willow mistook for discomfort.

"Did I embarrass you?"

Tara still couldn't quite form words, but did manage to shake her head and smile. Willow dropped her gaze coyly but was smiling too, the look on Tara's face giving her all the response she needed.

She swung Tara's hand just a little bit higher.

"Are you excited about the band?"

Tara could still feel her heart fluttering at what Willow had said, but tried to compose herself enough to carry a conversation.

"Uh huh," she answered, smiling wide, "We're going to an English pub?"

Willow nodded.

"Yeah, uh huh, but it's more bar-like than pub-like. I mean, you know, it doesn't have a great big wood fire and stuff, it does have a soundstage. They just do the British thing as a gimmick, I think."

"Sounds exotic," Tara replied in all seriousness, "Where is it?"

"Just a few blocks down, around the corner from the T stop, there's a whole neighbourhood of bars there," Willow answered, pointing in the general direction, "I wasn't sure which one it was exactly, but I checked it out when I was finding out the information about the band. It's nice; we can sit at a table and see the band but still talk. And it shouldn't be too crowded since a Beatles cover band isn't exactly the most popular music choice of the student population."

Tara nodded.

"So there shouldn't be too many drunk people?"

Willow picked up on a slightly apprehensive tone in Tara's voice. She wasn't sure why it was there, but she wouldn't do anything that would make her uncomfortable.

"We don't have to stay too late. Honestly, I mean, I just wanted to come because you really enjoy the music and it has good memories for you and I wanted us to have good memories. But we can leave whenever you want."

She smiled reassuringly and squeezed her hand, then pointed out a flag of the union jack that was hanging from a building as they rounded a corner.

"See, right there. The flag was the tip-off for me the first time."

They walked over and into the establishment and Tara took a good look around. There were plenty of people littered around the bar, a chunk of them their age, and the area was littered with British flags and memorabilia.

"Does this look okay?" Willow asked from beside her, "We can leave and watch a movie if you're uncomfortable, it's not a problem."

Tara shook her head softly.

"No, it looks nice."

"Great!" Willow replied, then pointed to a small circular table that was diagonally across from the stage that four men appeared to be setting up on, "I reserved that for us so we wouldn't have to stand."

She guided Tara over to the table and pulled out one of the chairs for her, then unzipped her jacket and left it over the other one.

"What do you want to drink?"

Tara was momentarily distracted as Willow's even lower-cut top came into view, but composed quickly and looked away.

"Just water please."

"Are you sure?" Willow asked, a bashful grin on her face from noticing where Tara's gaze had gone, "They have all varieties of sodas and whatnot. Or juice, or even those virgin cocktail things."

"Water is good," Tara replied, cheeks flushed.

Willow smiled.

"Okay. Back in a sec."

She went over to an open space at the end of the bar and waited patiently until the bartender came over to take her order. She entertained herself with making a little house out of beer mats until the bartender returned with two long glasses.

She smiled sheepishly as she collapsed the 'house' and paid, then took the glasses and turned to head back towards the table. As she approached, she noticed her seat had been taken by an unfamiliar dark-haired man, her age or a little older, and had moved it around so it he was sitting much too close for Willow's liking.

"Hi," she greeted with a forced pleasantness as she set their drinks down, "Who's this?"

Tara looked towards the man.

"Did you say Eric?"

Eric looked even more pleased as he looked Willow up and down.

"Yeah, I'm Eric. I was just talking to your friend here. Nice to meet you."

Willow offered a nod, but when he made no move to stand up, she started to get annoyed.

"You're in my seat."

Eric just smiled smugly.

"I can get another chair, there's plenty of room for three."

Willow's eyes flashed with anger.

"And I'm sure there's plenty of room for my shoe up your ass but I bet you don't really want to find out, do you?"

Eric held up his hands defensively.

"Hey, I'm just trying to talk to a pretty girl."

"Yeah, _my _pretty girl," Willow responded, crossing her arms over her chest and internalised a groan of frustration when the man just looked blank, "My. Pretty. Girlfriend."

It took Eric a second, but once he got it, his grin stretched from one ear to the other.

"Oh. So you two are...? Cool. I love lesbians. I mean, I really love lesbians," he replied and wrapped his arm around Tara's shoulder, who instantly stiffened, "I could find us another couple of girls, you know…get some beer, head back to mine. Get a real tight party go–"

Eric didn't get to finish as Willow picked up one of the glasses and held it over his head.

"If you don't get your slimy paws off my girlfriend in the next five seconds, you're getting this Shirley Temple over your head, and I'm sure that won't be a winning cologne to whatever girl you try to sink your teeth into next."

Eric knew a legitimate threat when he heard one and jumped straight up.

"I'll, ah, see you ladies later," he said, trying to take back some dignity, but let it go again when he saw Willow's face, "Or not. Bye."

He scurried off back to his friends at the bar and Willow took her rightful seat back.

"Are you okay, did he scare you?" she asked, putting a hand over Tara's, "Why does every guy think they can get in our pants?"

"I didn't like him touching me," Tara answered, shuffling slightly, "I-I wouldn't have talked to him if I knew…he just sat down."

Willow leaned over and pressed a kiss against her cheek.

"I won't leave you alone again," she promised, "We can go if you want. My plan to take you out has backfired miserably."

Tara shook her head.

"No, it's okay. It's nice to be out with you."

Willow smiled.

"It's nice to be out with you too."

They chatted happily until the band started playing a little while later, opening with 'I Want To Hold Your Hand', which delighted Willow as it was the tune she'd 'caught' Tara singing. She held Tara's hand tight throughout.

They both giggled at the retro outfits the band had donned, and spent the next few hours listening to the music, interspersed with comments about how they were enjoying it.

Even Willow found herself singing along as they closed their set with 'Hey Jude', though she did flush with embarrassment when she realised what she was doing. They both clapped along with the majority of the others when the four men bowed. Willow had to cover her eyes a little as the lighting brighten up a bit, but was smiling.

"Wow, they were really good! I was just excited because I knew you liked the music but they were really good! I almost felt like dancing when they did 'Twist and Shout'!"

"You should've," Tara replied with a happy giggle.

"Oh no, it's bad enough they lured me into singing," Willow responded with a shake of her head and a smile, "Do you like to dance?"

Tara shrugged a shoulder shyly.

"I'd dance with you."

Willow's smile grew twice as big.

"Maybe we could do that sometime," she said happily, then a quick glance around the room told her the place was filling up with people who'd already consumed a fair amount of alcohol, which she didn't want to subject Tara any more to, "Do you want to go for a stroll? We could take the long way back to campus, it's all lit up so it'd be safe."

Tara smiled and nodded.

"Uh huh, that sounds nice."

Willow jumped up and pulled Tara's seat out for again, then led her through the crowds that had started to form out into the chilly night air. She instantly unzipped her jacket and put it over Tara's shoulders.

Tara smiled shyly but didn't avert her gaze.

"What?" Willow asked, finding Tara's smile infectious.

"Pulling out my chair, defending me against that guy, giving me your jacket," Tara replied coyly, "It's just…really nice."

Willow looked proud again and put her arm around Tara's waist.

"Well whoever said chivalry is dead clearly didn't have a wonderful girlfriend," she replied, delighting in the bigger smile she received, "It's a nice night, huh? I love when it's all cold out and then you get into bed and it's all warm and cosy."

"I feel like that when there's a thunderstorm," Tara replied, still smiling, "You can hear all the rain and thunder and just know how cold and wet it is outside, but you're snug in bed."

Willow paled a little.

"Not too big on the thunderstorms myself," she answered, chuckling nervously, "When I was little, like really, really first-memories kinda little, there was a thunderstorm. My parents were away and my nanny was watching me, but I guess she passed out on the couch or something. I saw the lightning outside my window and I thought it was a star crashing to the sky. I must've climbed up or dragged a chair or something, but I got out the back door… The lightening wasn't so cool anymore, it was raining so hard and the thunder sounded like a whole pack of lions roaring. I couldn't reach the door to get back in, I was so scared. I ended up hiding behind a potted plant all night until my nanny found me the next morning."

Tara felt her heart clench at the thought of a tiny Willow, cold, wet and scared.

"Willow, that's horrible, I'm so sorry."

Willow shrugged, trying not to let the memory affect her.

"I had a habit of getting into trouble when I was little. I liked exploring a lot."

Tara could tell Willow was trying to be brave but didn't want to make her dwell.

"There was a forest behind my house. I liked learning about the trees when I was younger."

Willow smiled, much happier thinking about a tiny Tara.

"Did you ever paint pinecones? My dad did that with me once."

Tara smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I did, with my mom."

Willow sensed Tara's issues with her father went way back than whatever caused them to lose contact when she left for college, but decided it wasn't her place to push for an explanation.

"What else did you do as a kid?"

"Well, not much after…" Tara started to reply, feeling her heart sink for a moment but quickly recovered, "I did some dance classes, and a little horse riding."

Willow swallowed nervously.

"Horses…like, big…tall…teeth-that-can-take-your-arm-off horses?"

Tara looked amused.

"Most horses don't like arm very much."

Willow shook her head, a slight shudder going up her spine.

"I had a bad birthday party pony thing when I was four. I- I look at horses and I see really big ponies…"

"You should ride with me sometime," Tara replied, smiling affectionately, "I guarantee safety and fun."

Willow cast a sidelong glance in Tara's direction and gave her hip a rub over her shirt.

"Well… if you promise you'll look after me."

Tara felt her breath quicken as Willow's fingertips just barely brushed against her skin as her shirt rode up.

"I-I promise."

Willow exhaled slowly as the same tingle spread up through her arm, then noticed they were outside their dorm building.

"When did that happen?" she asked, in a bit of a Tara-daze, "Do you want to go around again, or just go inside?"

Tara turned to face Willow and noticed the goosebumps that had risen on her arms, so put her hands there and rubbed up and down.

"You're freezing."

Willow shuffled a little closer.

"I wouldn't say no to some warming up."

Tara was pretty sure she'd heard a flirty tone in her girlfriend's voice before, but she was positive now. She very much enjoyed the sensation it left in the pit of her stomach, and was still revelling in the way her skin felt where Willow had made contact, albeit briefly.

"Then let's go inside."

Her tone was a mix of excited shyness that Willow found both adorable and rousing – if she hadn't had goosebumps before, she would have then. She opened the door for Tara to walk through, then followed down the hallway to her dorm. She didn't even think to turn upstairs to her own room, it didn't even feel like that anymore.

"Is it weird I feel like I'm coming home when I come in here?" she asked as Tara unlocked the door to let them in.

Tara smiled widely to herself as she took Willow's jacket off, then went to turn on the lamp on her nightstand.

"You do spend every night here."

Willow hung back, suddenly worried.

"I'm not, you know, invading your space, am I?"

Tara turned and shook her head.

"I like having you here. It feels empty without you."

Willow thought about that, then smiled.

"Actually, I think that's what I feel," she replied, clearly happy at the thought, "Like I'm home when I'm with you."

She bounced over to Tara and took her hands.

"I feel like Scarlett O'Hara," she continued, then explained, "Her home was Tara."

Tara looked down shyly, but was smiling.

"I hope you don't go through three husbands."

Willow laughed and shook her head.

"One wife maybe."

She met Tara's eyes and smiled when it was kept, before accepting a warm hug that was offered. She loved the feeling that spread through her every time they embraced.

She hadn't figured out it was love yet.

"So do you want to watch a movie…or something?" she asked when they separated.

"Whatever you want," Tara replied, staying close.

Willow looked down to Tara's lips, then back up to her eyes.

"Right now I want to kiss you."

Tara ducked her head shyly, but was smiling.

"I'm available for kissing."

Willow smiled and leaned over to close the gap between them, pressing their lips together sweetly. They sank down onto the bed together and shuffled up so they could lie next to each other.

Willow slipped her shoes off when she felt Tara doing the same, then started playing footsie with her. Tara giggled, which sent a pulse of joy to Willow's heart.

"You make me really happy, do you know that?"

Tara smiled and entwined their fingers together by her waist.

"You make me happy too."

Willow dropped a lingering kiss on Tara's cheek, then went back for her lips.

As they kissed, she began first playing with Tara's fingers, then gradually moved up her arm and back to her waist. After a while, she felt Tara's hand cover hers.

She started to lift it away, thinking that's what Tara was going to do, but instead felt it gripped and brought up.

She tried to link their fingers together, again thinking that's what her girlfriend's intention was, and so found herself quite surprised when her hand was dropped, or rather left, on a particularly cushioned area of Tara's chest.

Tara's heart was pounding as she took her hand away, but it took her a few seconds to notice that Willow had stopped responding to the kiss. She looked away, embarrassed.

"S-sorry."

Willow's eyes were glued to her hand, and what was beneath her hand, but she snapped to attention when she felt Tara shrink away. She looked up, but was still at a loss for words.

"Um… uh… you… I mean… you're… okay with... this?"

Tara wasn't sure whether she should be encouraged that Willow hadn't removed her hand, but that very fact was causing sensations that were making it hard for her to think anyway.

"Well, um…I'm not comfortable with taking my clothes off…yet," she replied, her cheeks flushing a brighter red, "But we could talk about…above them."

Willow's eyes went down again.

"I think we've gone past talking about it."

Tara started to sit up, turning completely crimson.

"I'm sorry, just forget about it."

Willow felt a rush of air hit her hand and looked up to see her girlfriend's crestfallen features.

"No, no, Tara, I'm sorry," she replied quickly, feeling awful that she'd reacted to badly to Tara trying to share such a thing, "This is just…special. And I was surprised. But glad, definitely glad…and lots of other things. All good."

Tara met her eye, but Willow could tell she was wary. She tentatively reached for Tara's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, then guided it to her own chest as had been done for her.

Tara felt her breath catch in her throat as she connected, her fingers grazing the exposed tops of Willow's breasts.

Willow was glad she had donned the Wonderbra that night, both because it gave her a bit more to show off, and the padding hid the fact that she could feel her nipples hardening under the fabric.

After a moment, she reached out to touch Tara's breast again. She held back a giggle of glee when she saw Tara smile shyly, not wanting to give the wrong impression again, then moved up so their faces were close together.

"Tara?" she whispered, almost bouncing from her skin, "Can I kiss you again?"

Tara nodded and accepted Willow's lips back on her own just a moment later.

She felt more than a little overwhelmed by the combination of sensations, but wasn't scared. Willow always made her feel safe. And warm.

She smiled against Willow's lips as she thought of what her girlfriend had said.

_ …and lots of other things. All good._

She hadn't figured out it was love yet either.

They both would soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**Guest** – A 9.75, I will gladly and proudly take that! And a cute-o-meter definitely sounds like a thing I want to be on board with!

**AstronSoul** – Hey girl, thanks! Chivalry definitely isn't dead, and Willow loves taking advantage of that. There is definitely an 'I love you' on the horizon…give it a chapter or five ;)

**Missocki** – I understood her holding back because of confusion etc etc but I agree, sharing the love is much better! And I like your description of Willow! I think Tara would agree, bonkers but awesome :P

**QueenPhoenix08** – Willow is definitely protective of her Tara! And she definitely isn't keen on strange men pawing her.

**Errik's angel** – Glad you enjoyed it! Definitely good things to come…have to get a couple of less-than-good things out of the way first though!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I take no responsibility for experimentation

Keychains!? No one told me that when I was choosing sides!

Happy drunks are the best drunks!

Tara and Willow fluff should be the fluffiest of all!

Willow's wardrobe was a quirk I just had to include…I sorta loved the wacky outfits the two of them came out with. And yeah, Becky has her really fucking stupid moments but I like to think on the whole she's a good person.

Honestly, I like to show off some large-with-the-butch Willow, but there is reason behind it. It's important, I think, to show how protective Willow is of Tara, because it will be a touching point of things to come up in this, and things that happened in the previous installments of this verse.

* * *

"Tara?"

"Yeah?"

Willow brushed her fingertips down Tara's arm as they watched a movie in bed, though she was a little distracted and sensed her girlfriend was too.

"Do you like the movie?"

Tara nodded somewhat absently; she was looking at the screen but her focus wasn't on it.

"Sure."

Willow had noticed Tara's 'absence' over the past day or so, but hadn't broached it. She figured Tara would let her in if that's what she wanted, but wanted to make sure her girlfriend knew that.

"I know we've only been, like, 'together-together' for a little while, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Tara turned her head towards Willow.

"Of course. Why?"

Willow began to play with Tara's fingers, the movie forgotten about.

"You're…sad. I mean, you're not crying, you're not even all frown-y, but you're sad. I can tell. I just want to make you feel better."

Tara reached up and stroked Willow's cheek affectionately.

"You're very sweet."

Willow looked up into Tara's eyes and fully entwined their fingers.

"Are you okay?"

Tara nodded.

"I am okay. Really. I'm just always a little sad on this day because it's my mother's birthday."

Willow looked surprised.

"Oh."

Tara leaned up to peck her cheek.

"So don't worry about me. I'm not even sad all the time, just remembering."

Willow squeezed their palms together.

"Do you want to tell me about her?"

Tara smiled softly.

"Do you really want to know?"

"About the amazing woman that brought you into the world?" Willow asked genuinely, "I wanna know everything."

Tara's smile slowly spread.

"Okay."

Willow smiled back happily and shut her laptop to stop the movie from playing, then shuffled a little closer to Tara.

"Okay, comfiness first," she said as she got comfortable cuddling into Tara's side.

She let her girlfriend gather her thoughts for a few moments before prompting a start to the discussion.

"What was her name?"

She glanced up and saw Tara smiling still.

"Her name was Lisa."

"That's a pretty name," Willow replied, settling their conjoined hands over Tara's stomach.

"She had darker hair than me," Tara continued after another few moments, "But our eyes were the same colour. I remember a few people saying we had the same smile when I was little but I'm not really sure."

Willow felt her heart skip a beat at the thought of two crooked smiles and squeezed her girlfriend's hand to let her know she was still listening.

"She grew up in Rochester, same as me. She was a cheerleader, and my Dad was a quarterback. They got married right after high school, and had me pretty quick. My Dad started working as a mechanic, she taught art classes on the weekends and stayed home with me during the week."

Willow listened keenly to the details of her girlfriend's past and played idly with her fingertips as Tara kept speaking.

"My very first memory is of her waking me up singing Good Day Sunshine…I told you she loved The Beatles. I think I was around three. I don't remember anything else. Just waking up and seeing her smiling at me and singing that song."

"That's so sweet," Willow gushed, raising her head to smile down at Tara, "My first memory, after the thunderstorm, is getting an A in colouring at playschool."

Tara's eyebrow quirked upwards and Willow's cheeks flushed.

"I went to a really competitive playschool."

Tara gave a gentle smile but it was tinged with sadness.

"I used to always bring her flowers to her grave when I was growing up but since I've left home I can't do that and...well, I struggle a little with wondering how I can show her I still care."

"Maybe you could call your Dad and ask him to leave some flowers dow-" Willow piped up in a helpful tone before grimacing, "You guys don't talk. I knew that. I'm so sorry. Brain-goof."

Tara nodded understandingly and Willow's look became curious.

"I know you never came out to him…because you said the first time you ever said it out loud was that day with me…did you guys just not get along?" she asked, then cleared her throat when she saw Tara's face fall, "I'm sorry, I'm prying."

Tara inhaled deeply, then exhaled it in a slow sigh.

"He just wasn't very nice to me."

"I know that feeling," Willow replied sympathetically, "When I came out…worst phone call of my life."

Tara reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her girlfriend's ear and looked at her tenderly, so Willow felt safe to continue.

"Well, it was a couple of months after college started. Becky was super excited when I told her I got off the train at girlstown because she loves setting people up but could still have the pick of all the guys for herself. So she was kind of pressuring me to come out, but it wasn't mean or anything, more just like…insistent encouragement. Which I probably needed or I never would have done it. And I had a regular Tuesday phone call with my dad, so I decided that would be the day…"

* * *

_"I don't know about this, Becky. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this over the phone."_

_Becky looked up from where she was sorting through some notebooks on her bed._

_"No, see this is good, because it will give them a chance to get used it before you go home for the holidays and things won't be weird," she said in an reassuring tone, then winked at her, "I have a smokin' brunette waiting in the wings for you."_

_Willow didn't smile, instead just staring down at the phone in her hand._

_"I'm not coming out to them just to go on a date."_

_She felt Becky's hand on her shoulder a moment later, offering a comforting squeeze._

_"I know, Willow," she said, at a loss of what to say for a moment before going on, "Do you know what you're going to say?"_

_"I think so," Willow replied, fully prepared with her facts and data about being gay, wanting to appeal to the professional, logical side of her parents._

_Becky gave Willow's shoulder another squeeze before moving back to her bed to pick up her notebooks._

_"Okay, well, I have to go, I finagled my way into an all-boy study group. It'll all be fine, Willow, don't worry."_

_Willow gave a completely unconfident smile and then was alone in the room. Her gaze floated to the clock on the wall, watching the seconds tick closer and closer to the hour._

_Her phone rang as soon as it struck. Her father was nothing if not punctual. Her hands shook as she pressed the answer button and was silent as she brought to her ear, but luckily Ira started talking instead._

_"Hello, bubbala. How are you?"_

_Willow relaxed a little at the comforting sound of her father's voice._

_"Hi. Um, I'm pretty good, Dad. How are you?"_

_"Very well, Willow. I landed a big east coast client today and your mother was asked as a guest lecturer at Berkeley for this weekend."_

_"That's…great!" Willow replied enthusiastically, "That's really great."_

_There were a few moments of silence on the line before Ira piped up again._

_"So, tell me about your schooling. Are you still taking your business classes along with your regular ones? I've told you, no matter what your career, a basic knowledge of business will only ever help you."_

_Willow confirmed she was still doing the classes and spoke to her father about her other classes until she'd stalled all she could and took a deep breath._

_"Is mom there? I have something I wanted to say to the both of you."_

_"Well, sure, Willow," Ira's tone was surprised and then there was shuffling and muffled words, "Sheila, Willow is on the phone. She says she wants to talk to us both."_

_Willow tried to ignore the nausea settling in her stomach as she listening to more shuffling and footsteps, then buttons being pressed as she was put on speaker. Her mother's voice came next, skipping any pleasantries._

_"Are you keeping up with your GPA?"_

_"Yes, mom," Willow said shakily, playing with her sleeve, "This, um…this isn't school related."_

_Sheila scoffed._

_"You can't possibly need more money. We've been sending you enough to run the government of a small town."_

_Willow took another deep breath._

_"I don't want money."_

_Willow could almost feel her mother's annoyance._

_"Well, spit it out, Willow, come on."_

_"Let's just listen to the girl," Ira said curtly, "We're listening, Willow."_

_Willow closed her eyes, hoping it would somehow make everything easier._

_"So…you know I didn't really date in high school...busy with studying and stuff."_

_"Have you met a boy?" Ira asked, before tacking on, "I hope he's Jewish."_

_Willow shook her head even though she knew her parents couldn't see._

_"No, I haven't met anyone… But, I could…potentially…meet…a someone."_

_She heard her mother make a clicking noise with her tongue._

_"Relationships will just get in the way of your studies. They serve no purpose until you're ready to get married and have children."_

_Willow swallowed and stood up, gesturing in front of her with the hand not holding the phone, unable to stay still as she took the plunge._

_"I haven't met someone… but if I did met a someone… that someone... would be a girl."_

_The silence on the other end could have lasted hours for all Willow knew until her father's confused voice came through._

_"What are you talking about, Willow?"_

_Willow's breathing grew a little heavier._

_"My someone wouldn't be my boyfriend… they'd be my… m-my girlfriend. My… lesbian, gay-type lover."_

_Another stretch of silence followed, then Willow heard her mother._

_"Think of what you're saying very carefully, Willow."_

_"I-I know exactly what I'm saying," Willow replied with faux-confidence, "I'm gay. A-and you know it's not that uncommon, one in ten–"_

_"Don't be ridiculous!" Sheila burst out, "That college is putting ideas in your head!"_

_"I've known since before I came to college," Willow replied calmly, though she was feeling anything but, "I've always known."_

_"Willow, don't be silly, upsetting your parents like this," Ira spoke, almost forlornly, "Have your little phase if you must but don't say these things."_

_Willow shut her eyes, trying to keep herself in check._

_"It's not a phase. I'm gay. I can't change it and I don't want to."_

_Willow physically winced as she heard a tirade launch from her mother then; she heard more words like 'phase' and 'unnatural' and thought she recognised some scripture quotes, though it seemed like Sheila was just spouting out anything she could think of than through any real reasoning._

_She felt her heart sink lower and lower with each passing second until there was silence again, though her mother's enraged breathing could be heard clearly still. She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice came out in a low whisper._

_"This won't ever change. This is who I am."_

_She felt a lump rising in her throat as her mother began to spout angrily at her again._

_"Well as long as you stand by that, you can consider yourself free from family obligations. You are not welcome in our lives as a heathen, and we certainly won't continue to finance you!"_

_"D-Dad?" she asked, trying and failing to stop the tears falling from her eyes._

_"This is not who we raised, Willow," Ira spoke in a low and disappointed tone, "We have expectations of you."_

_The tears silently flowed down her cheeks as her father continued, his tone turning pleading._

_"Just tell us this is one of your little practical jokes, Willow. We can forget all about it."_

_"I can't do that," she whispered, "I can't lie anymore."_

_"Very well, Willow. You've made your decision," Sheila said, her tone taking on a coldness that Willow had never heard before but sent an icy chill through her, "Quite frankly it's a relief we won't have to worry about you taking up our lives!"_

_Willow believed that instantly. She heard footsteps stomping off and then there was silence for another minute before final words were spoken from her father. Willow could have sworn they sounded sad and conflicted, but it didn't matter, because they were said anyway._

_"Goodbye, Willow."_

_Willow croaked out a 'goodbye', but the line went dead before she even finished. She fell onto the bed, sobbing loudly into her chest as she listened to the dead dial tone._

* * *

"…maybe it would have been better if I had waited to do it in person. But I guess I anticipated…or at least feared the reaction they did have. It could have been a disaster if I was at home and they kicked me out right then and there, nowhere to go."

Tara face was scrunched as she listened, her heart clenching for her girlfriend whose tone was both sad and resigned in acceptance as she recounted the tale.

"Willow, that's awful. No one should have those things said to them. I'm so sorry."

Willow nodded, still feeling the pang of sadness that she didn't have her family, but had had more than a year to deal with it and had mostly come to terms with it.

"Yeah. I mean, it wasn't good times. I tried a couple more times to get in touch, but they never answered. I didn't really care about the money, my scholarship paid my tuition and my room and board, like you, so I knew I wouldn't get kicked out of school. And like they said on the phone, I had a pretty hefty allowance, and not just since college started, so I had, have, a lot of it saved. I budgeted it out over the four years of college and it's still probably more than I need."

Tara nodded slowly, eyes wide.

"Wow."

Willow cringed as she realised her words.

"That sounded bad."

"No, no," Tara shook her head reassuringly, "I just still don't understand how anyone could not want you in their lives."

Willow gave a shy smile, then a small shrug.

"Well after all that happened, I became a whole new person. Cut my hair, it used to be really long, way down my back, and I wasn't scared about…getting out there anymore. Went on those few dates… if you call long awkward silences over sandwiches or seeing a movie and being bored off your ass a 'date'."

Tara pretended to think about it.

"I call…Chinese take-out sitting by a tree a date…or swan boats and peach pizza…"

"Well now, see that must have been my problem," Willow replied, smacking her palm against her forehead, "It was never going to work out with someone who can't even share my definition of a word."

They both shared a smile for a moment before Tara spoke again.

"Do you wish you'd never said anything?"

Willow instantly shook her head.

"No. Like I said, I couldn't lie anymore. It went on too long. While all the other little girls dreamt about their prince proposing to them, I dreamt about proposing to my princess."

Tara brushed some hair from Willow's brow.

"That's really sweet."

Willow smiled shyly before she began idly tracing circles on Tara's shoulder.

"So was it the same with your Dad? The coldness?"

"Definitely…cold," Tara replied hesitantly.

Willow nodded, noting Tara's repeated cautiousness.

"You don't have to tell me."

Tara took a deep breath and covered Willow's hand on her shoulder.

"I want to tell you. It's just…hard."

"Tara?" Willow asked, suddenly overwhelmed with concern.

Tara looked up to meet Willow's eyes. She did want to tell her. Tell her everything she'd been through, come from. She wanted to share just like Willow had shared with her, but didn't know how. She brought Willow's hand up to her mouth and closed her eyes while she kissed her palm for a few moments of comfort before deciding to just be as plain as she could.

"He…abused me."

Willow's eyes flashed with emotion.

"Verbally?"

Tara nodded slowly.

"And…physically."

Willow felt as if her heart had just dropped right from her body.

"Tara."

Tara swallowed at seeing Willow's grief-stricken features.

"If I talk, will you listen?"

Willow eyes remained wide but she shut her mouth, managing a nod as she reeled from what she had just been told.

"Okay. I've never…" Tara paused a moment and gathered herself, "I've never spoken to anyone about this. At least not someone I care about…so…give me some time to get it all out."

Willow had no idea what do to or how to react but sensed what a big deal it was for Tara to be sharing this with her so she pushed down her own feelings and reached, albeit shakily, for Tara's hand, bringing it up to her mouth and kissing her knuckles gently.

"I'm here."

Tara couldn't help feeling happy then; even with the memories and preparing herself to speak of them plaguing her mind, she had Willow now, and that was indescribably wonderful.

She took yet another deep breath and prepared to start.

"My father shut down after my mother died. He stopped going to work and started drinking heavily and expected me to look after him and the house and everything around us. I was ten, and I'd just lost my mother, so even though I tried, thinking it would make her proud, I couldn't always keep up. He slapped me one day when his shirts weren't folded. And that's when it started…"

Willow listened silently as Tara recounted the abuse she'd been subjected to over the years. There was a few pauses, a few wiped tears and a few stumbled words, but Tara was able to tell the tale almost completely without falling apart – her voice sad but strong.

Willow felt tears moving to the back of her eyelids with every blink, determined to offer Tara nothing but comfort.

"He won't hurt me ever again," Tara finished resolutely.

Willow saw red in that moment that anyone had dared to hurt her girlfriend.

"No, he won't _ever_, I will die before I let–" she started to spout before calming herself for Tara's sake, "I will keep you safe. I promise."

Tara blushed a little at how intensely Willow had reacted to her story – she knew it was a subject matter that would cause a reaction in most people, but she could really feel how deeply her girlfriend cared for her.

She thought it should scare her, especially considering how little time they'd actually been together, but it didn't. She felt the same. And she didn't care if it had been weeks or years, she knew what they shared was something special.

She shot a soft smile upwards.

"I believe you."

"No one will ever hurt you without going through me," Willow replied with the same intent before trying to lighten the mood – more for herself to stop the rage she could feel pulsing through her veins, "I know I'm small but I can be spunky when I want to be!"

Tara laughed a little and Willow smiled too but there were still creases of concern etched on her face.

"Tara, I don't…do you need to…talk to someone…a professional someone? I mean, I'm trying not to suggest police and–"

Tara shook her head.

"Police...that's pointless. I did talk to someone last year for a while."

"Like a therapist?" Willow asked before adding on quickly, "There's nothing shameful in needing help."

"I know that," Tara replied softly, "I had some problems with my wrist because of a fracture that wasn't treated properly. The doctor at the student health centre recognised the injury and had me make an appointment with the counsellor they have in there once a week. I saw her for a few months…and she helped. But I don't like dwelling on it anymore."

Willow continued to look conflicted.

"Tara…eight years…no one can go through that and not…"

Tara looked as if she was contemplating something for a moment before she started to reach towards her nightstand.

"Let me show you something."

Willow was slightly fearful for a moment about what was about to be pulled from the drawer, about what her girlfriend used as a coping method, then breathed a sigh of relief when an old, tattered journal-type, leather-bound book was produced.

"You kept a journal?"

Tara gently pushed the metal fastenings up to pull the leather strap around the journal free.

"My mom did."

"Oh," Willow replied, realising all at once how private this was, "You don't have to share–"

"I want to," Tara cut her off, before adding shyly, "If you do."

"Y-yes," Willow replied, her head moving like one of those nodding dogs seen in the back window of a car.

Tara offered the open journal.

"You can read it."

Willow gingerly took it like it was made of fine china and read from the top of the opened page.

"He's changing. He's taunting me all the time, like he wants us to fight. He's always been jealous and… authoritarian. I go along to keep the peace. But he's becoming cruel, and I won't subject Tara to that."

"He never hit her," Tara piped up softly, "I don't know whether he would have started or whether my mom dying is what pushed him over the edge."

Willow blinked a few times before looking back on the page, where the words skipped a few lines, then continued.

"My perfect angel, Tara. I know there is good in the world when I look at her, in her deep eyes and her sweet smile."

Willow glanced up at her girlfriend and knew straight away what her mother had been talking about. She smiled shyly and continued to read.

"I may not have done much in this world, but I made her and she will always be thing I am most proud of. I will make sure she always knows how loved and precious she is. She can do anything, be anything, be someone. My sweet, sweet Tara."

The bottom corner of the page had a pencil sketch of what Willow could tell was Tara as a child and she traced the familiar features with her thumb until she heard her girlfriend speak again.

"Check the date."

"December 12th," Willow read, then tried to flick the page, but the rest of the diary was blank, "There isn't any more."

"She died on the 13th," Tara replied sadly before shaking her head and smiling a little as she put the journal next to her lamp on the nightstand, "There are pages…and pages…and pages of her talking about how much she loved me. There are some bonds that just can't be broken, and I had that with her. She said she'd make sure I knew I was loved and could do anything, and this did it. This kept me going. This showed me I could be more than a punching bag for someone. This made me do everything I could to get good grades, this made me push myself to get a scholarship so I could get out of that situation."

Willow wasn't sure what to say, but was relieved from having to when Tara kept going.

"I became an adult when I was ten years old. And I went through hell for eight years. But I always knew that wasn't it, that there would be a time when it wouldn't be hell," she said with conviction in her voice, "I got out. I was lucky. And I'm going to help the kids who aren't as lucky. To have that opportunity is so amazing."

"You're so brave," Willow said in awe, "I mean…I'm so happy you are…but even knowing all that you said…living in fear for so long…"

"It wasn't without its effects on me," Tara replied, still feeling the hairs on the back of her neck standing from recounting her earlier life, "There was one time…About a year after my mom died. I got my period for the first time, and I had no idea what was happening. I thought I was dying…and I was kind of glad."

Willow felt like throwing up at the thought of little Tara going through that fear alone, and being glad about thinking she was dying – it took all her strength not to rush to the bathroom and empty her stomach.

"I stuffed my underwear with toilet paper and it stopped after a couple of days…we had 'the talk' in school not long after that so I learned all about it then…" Tara continued, missing the greenish tinge Willow's cheeks had taken, "And then when I moved out here, I spent maybe three months looking over my shoulder, thinking my Dad was going to find me and drag me home. But when the winter holidays came and I was still safe in my dorm…I think that moment I realised that, that was the first time I really breathed in about 9 years."

Willow looked down, trying to piece it all together in her mind. Tara noticed and tried to help.

"Have you ever had a real epiphany? Just a moment of pure clarity where you know exactly what you want? See something really clearly?"

Willow thought 'the first time I saw your face' but just nodded and remained silent.

"Well I guess I had an epiphany and I shifted from being the girl who was scared, to the girl who survived. And that changed how I reacted with people. I never really connected with anyone fully until I met you, but I started getting involved in conversations in class, even told a joke or two. That was enough," Tara continued, then smiled affectionately, "Until a pretty redhead turned my life upside down."

Willow blushed and reached down to take Tara's hand by her waist again.

"Will you talk to me if you ever need to?" she asked, her eyes and tone genuine, "I'll listen…maybe offer a cuddle or two."

Tara nodded softly.

"I will."

Willow smiled happily at that before leaning down to cover Tara's body with her own in as much of an embrace as was manageable with them both lying. Tara inhaled deeply from the top of Willow's head and couldn't resist a gentle kiss on her hair.

"My mom would love you."

Willow's eyes lit up with child-like excitement.

"She would?"

"I know for sure because we always liked the same things," Tara replied with a warm smile, "And you know, I'm not worried about showing her that I still care anymore. I know exactly how."

"You do?" Willow asked expectantly.

Tara nodded again.

"Be happy."

"And you're…doing that?" Willow asked shyly.

Tara said nothing, but did press a long and lingering kiss of indication against Willow's cheek. Willow felt herself flush and gave Tara's hand a squeeze.

"Wanna go on a date tomorrow?"

"Yes, please," Tara replied with an enthusiastic smile, "Romantic, strobe-lit dinner in the cafeteria?"

Willow beamed.

"See, there you go, sharing my word definitions again!"

Tara laughed, visibly releasing the tension from everything she shared and Willow smiled in delight at the sweet sound before suddenly finding her lips being put to different use.

Tara lay back down with her head against the pillows, taking Willow with her as she went. She opened her mouth to invite Willow in, craving the closeness, but sensed a reluctance straight away. She brushed it off and teased her own tongue into Willow's mouth instead, but after several minutes couldn't help but notice that her girlfriend's hands weren't anywhere near the vicinity they normally made a beeline for.

Willow was hands-y and she was very okay with it.

Thinking Willow was worried about touching her after everything that had been said, she softly moved their entwined hands up and over her clothed breast, but the hand instantly retreated.

She broke the kiss and looked down, then raised her head to meet Willow's eyes.

"Is something wrong?" she asked gently, "Do you…do you not want me like that after what I told you?"

Willow shook her head vigorously.

"No, no, baby, no, nothing like that."

Tara reached up to stroke Willow's cheek.

"What is it?"

Willow glanced warily towards the nightstand.

"Your mom is watching!"

Tara turned her head towards the journal and picked it up with a smile.

"Happy Birthday, mom," she whispered with a reverent look before leaving it back in the drawer and turning back to Willow, "Thank you for listening. It meant so much."

Willow opened her mouth to answer but could only smile when Tara yawned, her nose scrunching up in a way that made her heart melt.

"Sleepy?"

Tara nodded and began to settle back into a sleeping position. Willow moved back behind Tara to spoon her, her arm sitting more protectively over her waist than it ever had before.

She felt Tara's breath even out after a few minutes and settled into thought, figuring she probably wasn't going to get much sleep that night.

There was no way anyone was going to get away with hurting her girl.


	12. Chapter 12

**StephenPG** – I was wondering who 'guest' was ;) Glad you thought so :)

**Missocki** – Wow, thank you! I'm very glad it came across well, it's always a difficult subject to broach!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Pfft, resisting arrest, barely a misdemeanour ;)

Laser keychains? The light has a lot of cats onside, doesn't it…

Well yes, happy is one thing, blabbermouth is another…

I want Willow/Tara blankets. They would keep me so warm at night.

Tara wrapped up in a bed sheet, I like it.

Taking the bullet was more 'large with the love'.

Loving W/T more is always good :)

**Queenphoenix08** – Willow's mother definitely didn't love her. She's the epitome of heartless, so much so I wouldn't be surprised if she was a repressed sociopath. Her father does love her, but he's as much to blame for his cowardice. And I agree, Tara's father deserves the 3-fold rule to come back and kick his ass. Yes, definitely about sharing and healing. Being able to move on together is a huge thing for them both.

**CurlyAkemy** – Sheila…this is definitely the worst I've ever written her…so much so that I'm glad she won't feature again because it breaks my heart to write her being such a cunt :P It was a great healing moment I think for them to be able to share and get past things the way they did, or that was the intention anyway.

**auggie1984** – Thank you! :)

* * *

Tara peered into her satchel as she walked into the campus library and located the two books she wanted to return. She quickly and quietly made her way straight to the returns desk and smiled at the librarian sitting behind it as she dropped them through the slot.

She offered a small wave to the older lady, then started to walk towards the fiction section to pick out a couple of more books for the reading she liked to do in her downtime between classes. On her way, she spotted a distraction to her normal reading habits in the corner.

Willow was sitting on the very end of a long desk, hunched over her laptop and peering at it intently. There were stacks of books all around her, essentially shielding her in her own little space and Tara was unsure whether to disturb her before deciding a quick hello couldn't hurt.

She snuck up behind her and put her hands softly on her girlfriend's shoulders as she turned her head in to kiss her cheek.

"Hi honey," she whispered, before immediately frowning when something on Willow's laptop caught her eye.

She didn't have a chance to confirm what she thought she saw though, as Willow suddenly slammed the screen down, garnering the attention of the other students sitting around the desk and the librarian at the desk, who was now shooting them a disapproving look.

"W-Willow?" Tara asked weakly, her heart pounding in her chest, unsure if her eyes had been playing tricks on her.

"Hi, baby," Willow said in a whisper, quickly trying to scramble her laptop into her bag, "Hey, wanna go for a walk?"

Tara's eyes were wide and her nostrils flared as she covered Willow's hand on the laptop to halt her movements.

"Willow, l-lift the lid."

Willow's eyes sunk in desperation.

"Tara, it's nothing."

Tara fixed an icy glare on Willow, who visibly withered, then gulped. She took her hand from her laptop and Tara whipped it open, staring down at the screen before back up to Willow, clearly trying and failing not to show hurt.

"What is this? W-what are you doing?"

Willow's mouth opened and closed dumbly for a few moments and Tara staggered backwards. Her eyes shut for a long moment before opening, shining with unshed tears, then she turned on her heels and headed straight for the door.

Willow quickly snapped to attention.

"Let me explain, let me explain!" she yelled, fumbling to gather her things.

"Quiet!" the librarian yelled as well and at any other time Willow would have rolled her eyes at the irony, but she was far too busy trying to follow Tara.

She swung her book bag over her shoulder and held her laptop against her chest as she ran out in the same direction, out the doors and onto the campus grounds. She skid to a stop as she looked around urgently, trying to locate Tara in the sea of people, but the familiar head just wasn't in sight.

"Dammit!" she yelled, propelling a pebble forward with a swift kick of frustration.

She ignored the odd looks she received as her feet hit the ground running in the direction of their dorm building, her feet burning the path all the way across campus. As she neared, she got close enough to look in the ground floor windows and spotted Tara sitting on her bed, holding her head in her hands.

She felt her heart sink, but she didn't give herself a chance to really feel it as she skidded in the doors and rounded the corner to approach Tara's door. Her heart was hammering and her cheeks were flushed as she leaned her forehead against the wood, using one arm to securely hold her laptop against her chest while she raised the other to rap her knuckles against the door.

"Tara, please," she panted as loud as she was able, "I know you're in there."

She held her breath for an entire minute as she waited for a response, but got nothing, so decided persistence was her friend and knocked again, softly, but consistently.

"I'll stay out here all night!" she called, her voice coming back to her, then winced as she realised threatening wasn't going to help her, no matter how benign, "Tara? Please?"

She felt a chill of despair run up her spin as she door remained shut in her face and began to feel dizzy at the thought this was it, that she'd ruined things between herself and Tara. That she'd never get to kiss her again, that Tara's special smile would never be shown for her again.

"No, no, no, no, no," she chanted frantically, near tears, trying one last hand-slap against the door, "Tara, please!"

Inside, Tara kept her head between her legs and took deep breaths, softly singing 'Do Re Mi' to herself as her mother had always done when she was little to calm her down. The sense of hurt and betrayal was unlike anything she had ever felt before; the tidal wave of emotion only growing with each desperate plea she heard coming from the other side of the door.

"Ray, a drop of golden sun," she whispered to herself in song, then felt her heart clench as her own 'drop of golden sun' called out to her again, voice strained and wretched.

She raised her head and looked forlornly at the door before deciding she at least owed Willow a chance to explain what she had seen. She stood up and made her way to the door, taking a few calming breaths before opening it.

To her complete surprise, the hallway was empty. She peered out and looked either way, but no one was there.

_So much for staying out there all night if she had to._

She huffed out a breath of annoyance, thinking Willow didn't even care enough to stay for five minutes and turned back into the room, where she was even more surprised to see a familiar redheaded body trying to wiggle in through the window.

"What are you doing?" she almost yelled, though she wasn't one to raise her voice so it wasn't too loud.

"You wouldn't let me in!" Willow called back, managing to push the window up high enough to begin to push her body through.

"So your solution was to break in?!" Tara asked incredulously.

"I just want to exp–" Willow started to say before the window lost its stability and came down sharply on her neck, "Ow."

Tara's eyes widened in fright and she rushed over to lift the window again, helping Willow through until she was securely on her feet.

"Are you okay?" she asked in concern, patting her hands around Willow's back and arms.

Willow nodded and felt a pang of hope at the tender way Tara was checking her over but it was dashed just a moment later when she took a few steps back and folded her arms across her chest.

"Well you wanted to explain."

Willow put a tentative foot forward.

"It's not what it looks like."

"It looks like you were looking up contact information for my father," Tara replied accusingly, "I didn't even tell you his name, how did you find him?"

"That is not what I was doing!" Willow shook her head defensively, ignoring the other question for now, "I was…"

She trailed off lamely and saw Tara roll her eyes, clearly thinking she was trying to think of an excuse.

"I was..." she tried again, unsure how telling Tara what she was really doing would go down, "I was looking up his FBI records."

Tara's brow creased in confusion.

"What do you mean FBI records? There are no records of him, he hasn't been arrested," she said, unless something had happened in the time since she'd left home.

"No _public_ records," Willow muttered, looking down, though Tara heard and looked even more confused.

"What are you talking about?"

Willow sighed but decided she needed to be honest if she had any chance of Tara's forgiveness.

"You know I like computers…and that I'm pretty good with them…well, see, there's this thing called 'hacking' where you can force your way into computer servers…and access the information on them. So I found your birth records, and got your father's name from that…then I just started to…research."

Tara looked completely gobsmacked.

"You…forced your way in…to the _FBI's_…database?" she asked, eyes wide, "Willow! Are you completely insane?! You can't go around trying to 'h-hack' that kind of information! They'll throw you in jail!"

"I was careful!" Willow protested, choosing to leave out the other databases she'd wormed her way into in her futile quest to make Tara's father pay for what he'd done - she hadn't even been able to ruin his credit score, he seemed to have done that for himself.

Tara couldn't quite believing what she was hearing and threw her hands up in front of her.

"They're the government!"

"I was trying to help," Willow replied, her voice rising, "He should be rotting in jail!"

"Yes," Tara responded with a cool calmness that said she was the one who was going to be in control of any situation involving her father, "He should. But he isn't. What did you think you were going to be able to do?"

Willow hands gesticulated wildly.

"Something! Anything!"

"Did you not think that this could make him find me?" Tara asked, the fear palpable in her voice, "You got the god damn FBI involved, Willow!"

Willow did a slight double take at that possibility, then shook her head.

"I-I would've been shut down straight away if I was caught," she said in what was supposed to be a reassuring tone, "I didn't change anything, just looked things up. I promise he won't find you."

Tara dropped down onto her bed and hung her head in her hands again. Willow hesitantly approached and sat beside her, taking a chance in rubbing her back and breathing a sigh of relief when she wasn't rejected.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. You told me…and I didn't know what to do."

"I told you what to do!" Tara replied, her voice muffled but clearly near tears, "Listen and hold me, that's all I wanted."

Willow felt sick to her stomach that she'd hurt Tara so badly.

"I know. I-I messed up. I know. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she said emphatically, her heart sinking when she got no response and tried for a joke, "I risked decapitation for you, that's got to count for something, right?"

She again got nothing back until Tara raised her head, eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Can you leave, please?"

Willow felt her own eyes well up and opened her mouth to argue before closing it and nodding, wanting to respect Tara's wishes. She stood, feeling her knees shake, wondering if this was the end of the shortest but most powerful connection she'd ever made with someone.

She quickly swallowed a cry of despair at the thought and dropped her head to place a soft but lingering kiss on Tara's forehead.

"I'm sorry," she whispered one last time, before turning and walking from the room, wiping at her eyes.

The world seemed to be moving at an agonisingly slow rate; her feet dragging along the floor as they moved on autopilot to collect her book bag and laptop she'd left outside Tara's window, the air around her thick and choking.

She found herself wading through the shrubs outside Tara's dorm again, spotting her things right under the window she'd tried to get through. She bent down and gathered the books that had spilled out in her haste before, then began to stand.

She caught sight of Tara again as she did so and felt her stomach lurch as she saw her in the same head-hanging-in-hands position, but her body now heaving with sobs.

_I did that. I caused those tears. I hurt that beautiful woman. I'm no better than him._

She looked away, the shame too much to bear, and rushed back into the building, pounding the stairs up to her floor and rounded into her dorm. She threw her bag on the floor and all but tossed her precious laptop onto her desk before sinking down with her back against the door, bringing her knees up to her chest.

Some tears came but they stopped almost as soon as they started. She didn't have the right to be upset. She wasn't the one who had been hurt. She'd done the hurting.

She stayed in her stupor of shame, feeling like her heart was slowly dissolving into nothingness until she heard a sound from beneath and suddenly remembered just how close Tara was. Her body slumped out until she was lying face-down on the floorboards, palm laid down flat as if she was trying to reach through them.

"Tara, I'm sorry," she whispered against the wooden slats, "I just want to make you feel better. Hug you and kiss you and–"

_Do what she asked me to do. Be there for her. Not dredge up this drama because of my own stupid insecure feelings. God, how could I be so selfish? She went through hell and I made it all about me. I just had to be in control. She's managed to cope all by herself for years and years, but nope, I couldn't trust that maybe she actually knew best for herself. Won't make that mistake again. Not that I'll ever get the chance to._

Her lips pressed against the floor, thinking it was as close to kissing Tara as she was going to get again, but only made her start to cough and splutter as an errant dust bunny went down her throat.

She scrambled over to the mini-fridge in the corner of the room and twisted the top from a bottle of water, taking generous gulps to rid herself of the foul taste and scratchy feeling. Once recovered, she went to close the fridge door again and spotted a lone chocolate pudding on the top shelf.

_If I'm going to mope I might as well mope with chocolate pudding._

She grabbed it and kicked the fridge door shut, then flopped down onto her bed. She clutched a pillow to her chest and didn't even bother with a spoon, pulling the foil lid from the pudding and scooping it up with her finger.

Any sense of self-decorum left her as the sugar hit lifted her spirits a little and she ran her tongue around the container until it was just clear plastic. Her bottom lip protruded in a pout and she threw the empty pudding pot on the floor in sadness.

_Pudding is good. Pudding makes the feelings go away. Wraps them all in gooey, chocolate-y goodness. Nothing can escape its gelatinous pull._

She decided in that moment that pudding was the answer to all her problems and after a quick raid on Becky's side of the room, which yielded no results, she upturned her book bag and let everything fall to the floor.

She left her dorm with her bag over her shoulder, fully intending to fill it with pudding cups and spend the evening drowning her sorrows in chocolate, vanilla, butterscotch and whatever other flavours she was able to snag.

She kept her head down, not wanting to make eye contact, or any contact really, with anyone on her way until she entered the cafeteria and heard her name called from the side.

"Willow!"

Her eyes flew up in hope but sunk again when she saw Becky approaching her.

"Hi, Beck."

Becky frowned at her friend's uncharacteristically unenthused greeting.

"Why the long face? Don't you have your sickeningly cute cafeteria date with Tara? I made Paul set you up with the table in the corner just like you asked."

Willow looked over and felt a fresh wave of nausea as she remembered what she'd asked Becky to ask Paul help set up, to make their 'romantic, strobe-lit dinner' date more special.

The table in the far right corner was covered in a table cloth and had silverware set in two place settings either side. A handmade, but neatly scribed, folded piece of paper had 'Reserved' written on it. Tied to the back of one of the chairs was a heart-shaped helium balloon, bouncing in the air with a lot more gusto than Willow felt in her own.

"Thanks, Becky," she said, her voice flat and empty, "I appreciate it. But the date is cancelled. Our whole relationship is…cancelled."

Becky's eyebrows shot up.

"What? How? I saw you two this morning, you were giggling and holding hands."

Willow's body visibly slumped.

"I messed up. Irreparably so."

"Did you kiss someone else?" Becky asked, pretty sure if Willow had done anything with another party it wouldn't have gone further than that.

"Of course not!" Willow all but spat, before sighing, "I just…she told me some stuff and I reacted badly. Went behind her back."

Becky looked confused.

"What kind of stuff?"

"It's, um, private," Willow said, not about to betray Tara's trust again.

She felt Becky put a hand on her shoulder and give her a comforting squeeze before her watch suddenly beeped three times in succession. Becky glanced down, then up apologetically.

"Willow, I'm really sorry. I have my late class."

"It's okay. I understand," Willow replied, examining the floor and kicking invisible pieces of lint on the floor, "I'll see you in our dorm later. My bed will be so confused to feel me in it all night."

Becky patted Willow's shoulder again.

"Hey, chin up, okay? You barely know the girl."

Willow resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Right."

_Not like my heart is broken. Not like it feels like it's been smushed and torn apart. Barely know her. Maybe I don't, but she knows me better than anyone. And I know her too. Just don't know how not to act like a jackass._

She offered a weak wave as Becky skidded off to get to her class and went over to the table that was supposed to have been a romantic surprise for Tara. She placed her hand flat on the soft tablecloth and toyed with the little strings hanging from the end until she heard her name called again, but didn't mistake it this time as it was obviously male.

"Hi, Willow."

She looked over her shoulder and recognised her roommate's – well, she wasn't sure she should call him her 'boyfriend', but guy-on-the-go seemed dismissive – smiling kindly in his Boston College tennis shirt and black slacks; his uniform when working in the cafeteria.

"Hi Paul."

Paul didn't seem to notice her dejected tone and produced a bright green glow stick from his pocket.

"Not allowed put candles on the table, but I brought one of my glow sticks from the Jovi concert I went to a couple of months ago."

Willow nodded gratefully.

"Thank you. You're so sweet to help set this up. But, um, the date is off," she replied with a deep sigh, "Thanks again though, it really was super nice."

Paul nodded, unsure what to do or say – he'd only met Willow a handful of times, and only in passing. Still, he felt bad that she was obviously feeling down.

"Hey, um, I'll take care of it all. Don't worry, yeah?"

He left the glow stick on the table and was thankful when he was then called over to man the cash desk.

Willow continued to stare down at the table settings, intending to gather everything up, but found herself overwhelmed by the emotion of it all again and fell into the nearest chair, where the balloon was tied.

She tugged the string until the balloon floated down in front of her and found herself tracing the letters in Tara's name across it before letting out a small whimper and dropping her head against the cool foil.

Across the room, Tara stepped through the swinging doors into the cafeteria and pulled her sweater closed across her chest as the chill from the air-con hit her. Her eyes were slightly red and a little sunken, but her demeanour was calm, though getting more agitated as she searched the room for Willow; her fifth stop in looking for her after checking her dorm, the common room, the library and their tree with no results.

She was on the verge of giving up and going back to her dorm, but she didn't want to go the whole night without talking to Willow – she was a big believer in not going to bed mad, even if this was the first instance she'd ever had to test that belief.

Her eyes searched the line of people getting their food, then each of the tables in vain until they landed on the last one. The first thing that caught her eye was the unusual way it was set up, but that was forgotten almost instantly as she saw the face-down head sitting on by it.

It may have just been a back of the head, but she recognised it – she'd been waking up to it every morning.

She pulled at her sweater again, more in nerves this time before taking a deep breath. She walked over to the table and took the seat opposite.

Willow didn't raise her head, though did seem to realise someone else had sat down, as Tara found the 'reserved' sign swiftly picked up and thrown in her face.

She blinked a couple of times as the paper hit her nose before drifting back down to the table and picked it up, examining what was written on it for a moment.

"Reserved for me?"

Willow's head flew up as if she'd been shot, her eyes wide.

"Tara!"

The balloon went back to bouncing in the air and Tara couldn't help but smile softly as she saw the shape. She unwittingly copied Willow's motions from earlier, playing with the small strings at the end of the tablecloth.

"Did you do all of this for me?"

"I-I tried to set it up to be more date-y," Willow replied, before looking down, shame-faced, "Before."

Tara nodded and brushed her palm over the cloth, then sighed and folded her arms on top of the table.

"I'm upset that you went behind my back."

Willow swallowed, using all her effort not to dose-dive back down, to hide from this. The break-up speech. The official one. She'd never been privy to one before, but she'd seen enough movies and heard enough stories from Becky to know when it was happening.

"I know."

_Does she have to do it here? The place I have to come back to three times a day?_

"And I'm upset that you brought up things that are in my past - things I want to stay there."

Willow nodded, willing to accept whatever verbal tirade was thrown in her direction, knowing she deserved much worse.

"I know."

Tara waited a few moments to try and meet Willow's eye, but she seemed intent on keeping them downward so she reached across the table to entwine their fingers softly together.

"But I'm most upset at the risk you put on yourself because I don't know what I'd do without you."

Willow's entire body stilled and her gaze slowly drifting to their hands, worried that when she looked, she'd be imagining it. A soft gasp left her lips as she confirmed what she felt and she looked up to Tara, her eyes terrified but daring to hope.

"But you broke up with me."

Tara's brow creased.

"When did I break up with you?"

"Y-you asked me to leave," Willow stammered, sure that Tara would be able to see her heart physically pounding out of her chest, as if they were in a cartoon, at the rate it was going.

"I needed some time to calm down," Tara replied, her tone indicating that that's exactly what she'd done, "I didn't ask you to leave forever."

"We're still girlfriends?" Willow asked, barely able to speak over the throbbing beat of her heart between her ears.

Tara looked regretful that she unintentionally made Willow think otherwise but had to make sure they wouldn't get into a similar situation again.

"I know you do your…computer thing. But you can't ever do something like that aga–"

"I swear," Willow cut her off in her eagerness to assure that she would never make that particular mistake again.

Tara kept her gaze steady with Willow's.

"If things comes up, and you feel like you need or want to do something…just talk it through with me. Don't be afraid to talk to me."

"I promise," Willow replied resolutely.

Tara looked at the redhead intently.

"Promises mean something to me, Willow–"

Willow lifted Tara's hand to cradle it between both of hers and looked deeply and genuinely into her eyes.

"And I will never break one make I to you."

Tara glanced down at the way Willow was holding her hand; warm and protective, a thumb caressing her gently. She covered the hand on top with her own and gave it a soft squeeze.

"I forgive you."

"You do?" Willow asked, almost leaping from her seat in excitement.

Tara nodded.

"Yes, Willow. I know you had the best intentions. I can't blame you for…being mad. Wanting to help. For caring about me."

Willow really did jump up then, running around the table to wrap her arms around Tara, pulling her up with the strength of the embrace.

"I won't let you down ever again."

Tara knew that was probably unlikely, that they were both human and mistakes were bound to be made. But she did believe Willow meant it and that was enough.

She closed her arms across Willows back and squeezed her affectionately, letting go of the last of the hurt.

"I couldn't quite organise table service, but I can be the waiter!" Willow suddenly announced pulling back an inch to look at Tara, "There's um, tacos or barbeque chicken. And all the regular sides. If you still want to have our…romantic, strobe-lit cafeteria date?"

Tara smiled and nodded, sitting back down in the seat.

"I'll have the chicken with a twice-baked potato. And some Greek salad if there's any left."

"Coming right up!" Willow replied before zipping off to the end of the line.

Tara smoothed out the table cloth as she waited; blushing, but with glee, as people passed and stared at the set-up – it may have still been a college cafeteria but it thrilled her that Willow had gone to so much effort to treat her like a princess.

Willow came skidding back after just a couple of minutes, holding a tray loaded with two plates, one sitting on top of the other and two large, lidless plastic cups; all of which very nearly tumbled onto Tara.

Willow squealed and rushed to leave the tray down on the table, breathing a sigh of relief when it wobbled a moment but ultimately stayed in place.

"Spilling your dinner in your lap wouldn't be a great way to get back in your good books," she chuckled nervously, "Unless you fell under the classic Rosenberg spaz charm."

Tara smiled softly.

"It's been known to have its effects on me."

Willow blushed and looked away, not feeling deserving of that smile yet. She lifted the top plate from the tray.

"Chicken, potatoes and Greek salad," she said as she laid the plate down in front of Tara, then left her cup by the side, "And Sprite. That's your favourite, right?"

Tara nodded and took a sip.

"Thank you."

Willow nodded and mumbled a 'you're welcome' as she got her own plate in place and sat down opposite her. She picked up her fork and speared one of her fries and dipped it in some ketchup, though didn't lift it to actually eat.

She made a face on her chicken with the ketchup as paint and a French fry as her paintbrush, then just started idly pushing her food around until she heard Tara speak to her.

"You okay?"

Willow looked up sheepishly and gave a one-shoulder shrug.

"I'm worried I fell asleep in my dorm and I'm lying in the foetal position surrounded by empty pudding cups and I'm just dreaming that you're being so nice to me after everything that happened," she said, immediately grimacing at her words, "And that was overshare."

Tara stopped a moment and didn't say anything before resuming cutting and eating her food.

"Pudding, huh? Rocky Road tends to be my drug of choice," she replied in a kind tone, "I'd probably be sitting in that other corner hunched over a bowl if I didn't find you."

Willow's eyebrows rose at that.

"You were looking for me?"

Tara nodded.

"I wanted to try and talk to you before it got dark and we were settling in for the night. I don't like the idea of going to bed mad. Disagreements can fester."

Willow looked down guiltily.

"This wasn't a disagreement. This was me fucking up."

Tara took in a soft breath as she sensed the possibility of Willow's remorse becoming a bigger deal than the initial issue. She picked up the seat under her and scooted around to sit next to Willow, covering her hand with her own.

"You said sorry. I accepted it. It's over."

Willow looked down at their hands, then back up to Tara.

"I'll make it up to you. In completely non-technological ways. I'll bring you dinner to your door every day and muffins every morning and I'll carry your books to class and do your laundry, or, um, get it done, and, and anything else you want, just say so and I'll do it."

Tara squeezed the hand beneath hers.

"I meant it when I said it's over. I'm not holding anything over you. I'm also a big believer in forgive and forget. Not so much that we don't learn from it. But as far as I'm concerned, we had an issue and we resolved it. And we're stronger for it. I hope so anyway."

Willow looked at Tara in wonder; that a simple, genuine apology seemed to be enough and she wasn't going to have to grovel and offer things in exchange for forgiveness.

"I'm not ever going to let you go."

She seemed embarrassed by her words and lowered her head but Tara just smiled and squeezed her hand again.

"Hey, try some of this potato mix. I think they put chives in it today, it's really good."

Willow had another moment of pure adoration that her girlfriend–

_Thank every deity known and unknown that I can still call her that._

–was so perfect before she smiled and took some of the potato on her fork to taste. She gave a thumbs-up sign as the creamy, fluffy mixture settled on her tastebuds, then offered her own plate.

"Want a fry?"

Tara nodded and took a French fry, cutting off a piece of her chicken to eat with it. They ate mostly in silence but with affectionate looks from both sides until they were finished and Willow did a quick clean-up of the area while Tara went to the bathroom; then they walked together across campus to their dorm building.

Tara stopped outside of the door to her room and fished in her pocket for her key.

"I have to finish a paper–"

"Of course, I understand," Willow cut her off, looking down, thinking she was being blown off, "I have some reading I have to do."

Tara toyed with her keychain.

"My bed is pretty comfortable to read on."

Willow's eyes lit up and she began bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"I can stay over?"

Tara smiled shyly.

"If you want to."

Willow nodded eagerly.

"Yeah! I love sleeping with you!" she announced a bit too loudly, resulting in stares and blushes, hers the brightest, "Sleeping. Bed-sharing."

"Right," Tara replied, blushing too.

Willow twitched nervously and cleared her throat, then gestured over her shoulder with her thumb.

"So I'll go get my books?"

Tara nodded, finally pulling out her key.

"I'll leave the door open."

Willow breathed a sigh of relief that she was still welcome and hurried off before she accidentally said something else, quickly getting up to her dorm.

Becky's looked up from where she was watching TV on the television in the corner of their room as she heard the door opened and quickly turned it off with the remote.

"Hey."

"Hi," Willow greeted, instantly going on a search for the books she needed.

Becky watched, thinking Willow was throwing herself into work to get her mind off of things.

"All-nighter at the library?"

Willow shook her head, loading her physics textbook on top of her psychology notebook.

"No, going to Tara's."

Becky grinned.

"Did you kiss and make up?" she asked, getting a nod of confirmation, "Now, see you were worrying over nothing!"

"No," Willow replied seriously, "No, I was worrying with very good reason. But she forgave me."

Becky flopped back onto the bed and picked up the remote again.

"Well, thank god. I was not looking forward to dealing with mopey Willow."

"No mope," Willow replied cheerily, patting her mattress, "Sorry, bed, hope I didn't tease you saying I'd be here tonight!"

Becky smiled at her cheered-up friend.

"Hey, you owe me a pudding cup."

"I'll buy you a whole pack," Willow replied, slotting her books into her laptop bag, "Got plans?"

Becky nodded.

"Paul gets off work in a half hour. If you're not coming back tonight, we'll hang here. He has a roommate too."

Willow nodded too and flung her bag over her shoulder with a smile.

"Tell him thanks again from me."

"I will," Becky responded, "Tell Tara I said thanks for not breaking my best friend's heart."

"Have a good night," Willow replied before shuddering, "I don't want to know how good. Bye!"

Becky brought her hand up in a wave as Willow skidded out and quickly went back down to Tara's room, opening the door, then turning the lock as she closed it.

Tara looked over from her desk and smiled as she entered. Willow smiled back and dropped her bag onto the bed, before suddenly looking at it in horror, realising she'd brought the source of their earlier drama with her. She looked up to Tara, wide-eyed.

"I-It's just for the morning, for class."

Tara looked down at the bag and nodded, still smiling, not having thought anything else.

"I trust you."

Willow scrambled to open her bag and went to lift the lid on her laptop.

"I can show you my search history every night if you wa–"

"Willow," Tara cut her off with a soft smile, "I trust you."

Willow swallowed, her eyes sinking just a little.

"Even after…making that mistake?"

Tara stood and placed her hands on Willow's waist to pull them close together.

"You recognise it was a mistake. You did straight away. You didn't try to make excuses, or lie to me after the fact. If we don't have trust we don't have anything."

Willow let out a shaky breath as she leant her forehead against Tara's.

"You're wonderful."

"So are you," Tara said softly, "And human. We both are. So let's not worry about things that have happened, and if something else comes up, we'll deal with it together."

Willow nodded, unable to speak for a moment, but found it unneeded as she felt Tara's lips gently covered her own, the first time since that morning and long before the events of the afternoon took place.

She fully relaxed for the first time in hours and brought her arms around Tara's neck, turning her head so their noses bumped together.

"I didn't think I'd ever get to do that again," she breathed, savouring the taste and feel of her girlfriend's lips.

"Don't be so quick to bury us," Tara whispered back, "Have faith."

"I…" Willow trailed off, then gave a definite nod, "I will. I do. I promise. And I meant it, no breaksies."

Tara's lips quirked up one side in a grin.

"No breaksies is as serious as no takesies-backsies, you know."

Willow giggled and nodded her agreement before finding the allure of having Tara's lips so close too much and closed the small gap again. They found themselves dropping down to sit on the bed, though once they started to move into a more horizontal position, Tara regretfully pulled away.

"I would really love to do this all night but I have to write my paper."

"Yes, of course," Willow smiled understandingly, "Hey, take my laptop. You don't need to do the long-handy thing anymore, I mean unless you want to, but it saves you a trip to the library to type. You can use mine anytime."

Tara smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, sweetie."

Willow felt her cheeks flush at the pet name and knew her smile was reaching her ears. She got her laptop set up on Tara's desk and brought the word processor up before going back to lay stomach-down on the bed and flipped her physics textbook open in front of her.

She attempted to read the marked pages, idle words about the invariance of the speed of light floating into her brain, but she was mostly consumed in stealing glances of Tara in front of her; the curve of her back against the chair, the way she chewed on the end of the pen she was using to make notes before she started her paper, then the way she only used her index fingers to type – which would have annoyed Willow if it was anyone else, but with Tara she found it utterly endearing.

After a while she decided no reading was going to get done and settled her head down to just use her book as a pillow for some Tara-gazing. Tara seemed to sense she was being watched and looked over her shoulder, smiling and blowing a kiss.

Willow beamed and pretended to catch it as Tara turned back to her work.

_Yep. That is definitely decided. No way am I ever, ever, ever letting her go._


	13. Chapter 13

**Missocki** – Haha, I don't think Tara would be upset if Willow was looking up 'research material'…embarrassed, maybe, but not upset. Also, that is definitely an on-your-lonesome kinda search ;)

**GnomeGirly** – Haha, that seems to be the general consensus! So don't worry, it's not just your mind.

**CurlyAkemy** – Lol, don't worry, everybody thought it was porn :P

**Queenphoenix08** – It was initially fear that Willow had opened a new can of worms that turned to anger about how she'd gone about it, but hey, all's well that ends well! Glad you enjoyed their date. They most certainly belong together.

**Dirty Tube Socks** – They never buy the evil twin thing, do they?

I have a love/hate relationship with cats, so I'll have to think about whether I join…

Honesty is the best policy, except when you're drunk!

Well you know me, no angst without some cuteness!

Well, Tara's father doesn't know where she is. And while she's recovered, mostly, from a lot of the PTSD from the aftermath of running away, she's definitely still scared of him. She's scared of him right up until the confrontation in Hacker where she finally asserts herself, and then her feelings for him just turn to pure hatred after what he did to Willow.

…so it wasn't so much what Willow did (looking up the records), it's what she tried to do, which was somehow get him arrested/bring the authorities in. That's bringing up a whole new mess for Tara to deal with; seeing him again, which she doesn't want to do; an investigation; possibly forcing her to move if she felt scared enough, not to mention getting Willow in a whole heap of trouble

So initially she was shocked at what she saw on the laptop, then she started to get overwhelmed with fear, then when Willow explained, despite her fears about it going further being quashed, she was upset that Willow would do something that risky. It was all too much, so she needed some space, got her head together, and then went out to resolve it.

**Errik's angel** – You're quite right, it's good to get the first fight out of the way! And yeah, Tara's had way too much conflict in her life to dwell on things.

* * *

**Guys, it's short, I'm sorry,I had a bad week…longer next time, promise!**

* * *

Willow intently scribbled notes on one of the many notepads spread across the desk she was sitting at, her different coloured pens out laid out above her in order so she knew where to grab without having to look up.

She had been in the library for hours already, after regretfully leaving Tara once they had finished eating dinner together in the cafeteria. She had a huge Neuroscience of Psychopathology paper due the next morning and was uncharacteristically behind on it – having found herself either day dreaming about Tara or just staring at her if she was there, even during their designated study times.

So she'd filled her book bag with all of her study notes, her pen collection, her text books and her laptop and had set herself up in a corner desk in the library in the early evening. She hadn't looked up once in the hours that had passed since, hadn't noticed the sky darkening, hadn't noticed anything except the words on the pages and the clicking of her pens.

Therefore, when she felt a hand touch her shoulder and then give a squeeze, her own synaptic responses – the same one she'd been studying so intently – made her jump in fright and sent her pen flying to the floor.

"Sorry," Tara whispered, taking her hand back and bending down to retrieve the pen, "You said you were looking at an all-nighter, I brought you some coffee."

Willow took a steady breath as she felt her heart pounding from the surprise, then smiled softly. She took the pen Tara was holding back out to her and saw a tall Styrofoam cup in the other.

"I know you said you need no distractions," Tara continued to whisper, not wanting to get on the bad side of the librarian that was already shooting her a disapproving look for daring to open her mouth, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't fall asleep in your books."

_And I missed you._

Willow smiled again and gratefully took the cup of coffee.

"It's okay. I've gotten a lot done. I could use a little break."

_And I missed you._

Tara seemed pleased and dragged a nearby chair closer to Willow, which resulted in a glare from the librarian's desk.

"I don't think that lady even knows how to smile," Willow said quietly, hiding a grin, "We're getting the stare-down. Wanna go for a walk?"

Tara nodded towards the laptop sitting open on the desk.

"You can't leave your laptop."

Willow pursed her lips in thought and looked around for a moment.

"I have an idea," she said, offering her hand, which Tara happily took.

Willow closed her laptop and covered it with her notepads so it was both concealed and hard to access, then stood and led Tara down the middle of the book aisles until they were at the last one. She walked them into the corner.

She peered down the straight gap between the wall and the bookshelves and fist-pumped the air in victory when she was able to see half of her desk at the very end, enough to keep an eye on it.

"Safe laptop and some peace!"

She dropped to the floor and cosied herself up against the wall, then patted the spot next to her for Tara to sit too. They sat shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee, hands clasped between them.

"I love your sweater," Willow said, smiling at how the soft blue brought out Tara's eyes and the design on front, "Stars, like your name!"

Tara looked down at the sweatshirt she'd thrown on and ran her hand down the black stars that embossed the edges of the front. She remembered exactly when she'd bought it, not long after she'd moved out there.

It was the first piece of clothing she'd even been able to buy for herself – her father had left her an extremely tight budget to feed them and there was barely a penny left over for detergent, never mind clothing. She had worn the clothes she had in her closet after her mother died for as long as they would fit her, then had had to go in search for alternatives, eventually finding a clothes and food bank that she could avail of services from in lieu of some volunteering that her father approved of since it was run by the church.

Though the only fear of God he had was that his beer stash would ever run out.

She remembered strolling into the thrift store on one of her first trips to explore the city, and spotted the sweater on a rack hidden between hangers filled with shirts and tops that should have been burned before the 1980's were over.

The fall air had started to turn nippy and while she was happy to put a blanket over herself in the evenings, she had noticed the chill when walking to classes; even her long-sleeved shirts were quite flimsy, and there was nothing heavier in her wardrobe.

Like Willow, the stars too had caught in her eye, and for the same reason.

She'd never thought too much on the meaning of her name, but her mother had sung 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' to her frequently when she was very young and so she had always felt some connection to them - if nothing else she was reminded of her mother when she looked to the night sky, and that was a reason enough to like them.

She had picked the sweatshirt up and tried it on, and when it had fit her perfectly, brought it to the counter and bought it without a second thought.

It had only been a few dollars, but as she handed it over, she felt truly liberated for the first time ever. She had the sweater back on before she'd even left the store, and had worn it every day for the fall and winter that followed.

The fabric still warmed more than just her body and she threw it on whenever she needed some comfort.

She hadn't noticed that Willow had replaced the sweater as her source of comfort until she had to spend the evening alone and had scoured it out from the back of her closet.

"Thanks. It's my favourite," she eventually replied with a soft smile, rubbing her cheek lightly against the inner fabric of the hood, enjoying the soft feel with the even softer feel of Willow's hand in hers, "How's your paper going?"

She spoke just a little above a whisper, but not quite in her normal voice, not wanting to draw any attention to themselves when the only other sounds were scribbling pens, pages turning and typing.

"I think if I read about one more neural mechanism I was going to turn into one," Willow joked in the same quiet tone, before frowning, "Wait…"

Tara lips quirked to one side and Willow felt her heart flutter in response. She tried to cover the giddy smile she knew was on her own face by taking a sip of her mocha.

"Never gonna be as good as the Espresso Pump," she sighed, then looked to Tara, "You didn't get any coffee for yourself?"

Tara awkwardly shook her head and Willow immediately realised that it was probably because her girlfriend couldn't afford two take-out coffees, making the gesture all the more meaningful. She quashed the words about to fall from her mouth, of offering to reimburse, knowing it would just make Tara uncomfortable and opted to bump her shoulder instead.

"There's easier ways to touch my lips than sharing a coffee cup, you know."

Tara cheeks flushed but her head moved a little closer to Willow's.

"Oh yeah?"

Willow almost choked on the sip of coffee she'd taken and gaped at Tara.

"We're in the library!" she hissed in astonishment, "With books!"

Tara started to retreat, thinking she must have somehow misinterpreted what Willow had said.

"Books!" Willow repeated, gesturing wildly around them, "Books!"

"I think you've been staring at one of them too long," Tara commented, wondering if she'd done the right thing by supplying her girlfriend with a caffeine hit.

Willow opened her mouth to explain, but quickly closed it again, realising how ridiculous it was that the thought of kissing surrounded by books made her feel naughty.

"Yeah," she said with a nervous chuckle, "Wanna distract me?"

Tara was hesitant, not wanting to misunderstand again, but there wasn't much time for her to ponder as Willow took the initiative. She found a hand on her hip and lips pressing against hers and brought her hand up to curl the ends of Willow's hair between her fingers.

Not even the comfiest sweatshirt could relax her more than that.

Willow spent the first minute with her eyes darting around, feeling as if the books had grown eyes and were staring at her. For her, at that time, in that moment, it was pure exhibitionism as she recognised many of the titles on the shelves surrounding them - she felt like old friends were watching her.

The resulting adrenaline rush only enthused her actions and it wasn't long before any thoughts about books had completely fallen from her mind in place of–

_Tara's lips…Tara's lips…Tara's lips…_

The coffee grew cold as their bodies grew warm, nestling closer together until they were disturbed by a very ireful throat-clearing.

They broke apart and both bore the look of a deer caught in headlights as the librarian stood over them, her tongue clicking disapprovingly. The look she was shooting them was so intense, Willow thought it might crack the glasses hanging off the end of her nose. There was a moment of scornful silence that seemed to drag for hours until the librarian finally spoke; her voice cutting and nasally.

"This is a library, not the back row at a movie theatre."

Both girls remained silent apart from a squeak from Willow and an audible gulp from Tara. The librarian rolled her eyes derisively and sighed.

"Either continue with your work or leave please."

She turned on her heels and marched away, but the girls remained completely frozen in surprise until Willow's hands suddenly shot to her mouth to conceal the giggles that were falling out.

"We were scolded by a school official!" she whispered, "Us! ME!"

"Ssshhh," Tara replied through her own laughter, finding it infectious and dropped her head to Willow's shoulder to stifle it.

She stayed there until she felt her flush die down, then lifted it to place a quick kiss on Willow's cheek.

"I better go before I get you kicked out."

Willow nodded, still smiling from the encounter, and helped them both stand up.

"Thank you so much. For the coffee and the… break," she said with a grin before her fingers went to the end of Tara's shirt, playing with the hem, "Missed you."

Tara smiled coyly and reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind Willow's ear.

"I'll leave my door open…if you manage to finish up before dawn."

"I don't want to wake you," Willow started to reply before seeing the adoring look on Tara's face and beamed from ear to ear, "Keep the bed warm for me."

"I will," Tara whispered, casting a quick look around to make sure they were safe before leaving a final, soft kiss on her lips.

It only lasted about three seconds but Willow was sure every ounce of breath was pulled from her lungs and had to reach out to steady herself on a shelf when Tara pulled away. She watched Tara give her that special smile and felt her heart skip a beat. She wondered for a moment how she was ever going to survive when so many of her vital organs seemed to give out whenever her girlfriend was around.

She offered a wave to Tara, who returned it with a wiggling of her fingertips, and couldn't help but enjoy the view as she watched her walk away. When she was finally gone, Willow slumped back against the wall, wrapping her arms around her own body in an attempt to keep the tingles shooting through her well encased.

After another minute, fearing a second visit from the librarian who was clearly not happy being on the night shift, she grabbed her now-cold coffee – intent on still drinking it when so much trouble had been gone to, to get it for her – and rushed back to her desk, keen to finish and get to those Tara-snuggles that were waiting for her.

* * *

Willow very carefully turned the doorknob of Tara's dorm room and opened it just enough for her to slip her body through. She didn't want the light from the hallway to stream into the room, though was happy when she saw her girlfriend had left the curtains open and the moon was casting enough of a glow that she could make her way around.

She was prepared for quietness, shoes already off, and gently left both them and her book bag on the floor.

She tiptoed across the room, ready to sleep in her clothes so as not to disturb Tara by looking through the dresser for something like she normally would, but stopped and smiled when she saw a pair of pyjamas sitting neatly folded on 'her' pillow.

Her features softened as she looked at Tara peacefully sleeping on the other side, and smiled widely when she saw her girlfriend had her hand holding onto the pillow by the pyjamas.

She decided she definitely needed to be beside her, quick, and picked the pyjamas up to change into. She stepped away from the nearby nightstand, knowing that if there was anything other than air surrounding her, the chances were high she'd bump into them and cause a racket.

She stripped herself off and was about to start the change, but suddenly stopped short when she realised just how naked she was and just how close Tara was - not to mention how easily she could wake up and see her like that. She'd learned what arousal felt like from the many opportunities to kiss and touch Tara, but the idea of being seen naked both terrified and thrilled her enough that she almost fell over in surprise at the resulting throb between her legs.

She decided to quickly throw her panties back on and the pyjamas followed, though the top took a few attempts as she shakily misbuttoned it up. Her normal night-time routine forgotten and only the desire to be close to Tara in her mind, she found her way under the covers and cuddled in tight.

She smiled happily as Tara adjusted herself around her, but once again found her lungs devoid of breath as her girlfriend's arm settled on her chest, right over her breasts. That normally wouldn't have given Willow much bother, but found that the pressure made the fabric of her pyjama top chafe against her nipples that had grown stiff, and not from the cold.

It only took a few seconds for that to translate into more throbbing, though Willow wasn't sure it had ever quite stopped. In fact, they only seemed to be intensifying as her mind flashed with explicit images that she'd never quite allowed herself to think about before.

She'd certainly had thoughts, during heated make-out sessions; thoughts of the feel of Tara's breasts without the cloth barrier, or about kissing her stomach when she caught sight of some skin in the midst of a stretch.

But the intensity of the physical reactions she was feeling was only fuelling the sea of images floating through her brain, her mind taking the freedom of thought and running with it.

For the first time, she really imagined Tara naked - not isolating a body part as she'd let herself before, not making herself stop when a fleeting thought of her in the shower popped up, but really thought about her and what she would look like head-to-toe nude.

A soft gasp rose from her throat at the image.

She could feel her cheeks burning and the throbbing she'd felt before was barely a flutter compared to what she was feeling now.

She reached down and tried to adjust her panties, hoping movement would somehow stop it, but it only made it worse as she heard an audible squelching sound come from between her legs.

She'd knew what happened to a woman's body when it became aroused and had enjoyed the light experiences she'd had with it, but was unprepared for feeling like her lower half was swimming in itself.

She snatched her hand back and stayed deathly still, unsure how or what to do, but started to squirm uncomfortably when she saw her fingertips glistening. She balled her hand into a fist to hide it, but not before her nose picked up the distinct musky scent of herself.

_Oh god, oh god! That's me, that's me! What if Tara wakes up and smells me or sees me or hears me and knows I was thinking about her naked. Am I allowed think about her naked? ...if she wanted me to know what she looked like naked, she let me see her naked! So stop being a perve and stop thinking about it! Stop it! Right now! Is she moving? Oh no, please don't wake up. Oh god, oh god!_

She wasn't sure if Tara's movements were signalling an impending awakening or whether they were just in her sleep, but wasn't about to risk her waking up and finding her in that state.

She delicately, but quickly, removed Tara's arm from her chest, then gingerly stood and ran straight to the bathroom.

Filling the sink with cold water and plunging her face in was the first point of order, followed then by removing her panties and cleaning herself up.

She tugged her pyjama bottoms back on and started to brush her teeth, using the menial task to take her mind off of anything sexy.

She spent a lot longer any normal person would furiously brushing up and down, but it had the desired effect as it completely wore her out and left no room for any thought other than to sleep, the late hour only helping the cause.

She rinsed her mouth out and grabbed the panties she'd discarded to leave with her bag before finally climbing back into bed. Tara started to stir again, but Willow was much more capable of offering her some comfort this time.

"Go back to sleep, baby, just me."

Tara seemed to settled and Willow thought she'd fallen back to sleep until she heard a quiet giggle in her ear.

"Your feet are cold."

Willow smiled softly and rubbed her feet against Tara's.

"Better warm me up."

She felt Tara sandwich her feet between her own and nuzzle under her chin.

"Mmhh. Finish your paper?"

"Uh huh," Willow answered, leaving a kiss on top of Tara's head, "That coffee was a godsend. Or a goddess-send, since it came from you."

She couldn't see, but knew Tara smiled at that.

"'Night Willow."

Willow sighed contentedly and closed her eyes, definitely ready for sleep after her busy night.

"'Night Tara."


	14. Chapter 14

**Queenphoenix08** – The librarian is based on my maths teacher! Why do people gotta be so mean? Glad you enjoyed the chapter :)

**Missocki** – Yes, poor Willow was in quite a fluster!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Probably someone stupid.

Cat whispering, eh? Is that a euphemism? :P ;)

That's a fine line to toe!

There's always fluffy cuteness!

Ha, I know, I'm sorry. I was type-vomiting. I'll try to condense in future :P

Books are friends, and no one (well some people) want their friends to watch them making out.

Me and interruptions have a long-standing history! You will find at least one in almost all my W/T fics :D I don't think I ever had a librarian that hated me, but I sure did have a math teacher.

* * *

Tara picked up a couple of odd socks that had fallen to the floor and tossed them into her laundry hamper, which was sitting on her bed. She looked around the rest of her room to make sure there was nothing on the floor or tossed onto her dresser, but her attention was diverted as she saw her dorm door open.

"Hey, just me," Willow's voice came, followed by her body as she came in and shut the door behind her, "You should keep that locked, even if you're here. This campus has some weirdos, what if you were in the shower or something?"

"Yes, dear," Tara replied with a joking yet affectionate smile.

Willow smiled back and half-stepped, half-jumped forwards eagerly.

"Wanna hang out?" she asked hopefully, then tried not to show her disappointment when she saw hesitation on Tara's face, "You're busy."

"No, no," Tara shook her head, lifting her hamper in indication, "I was just going to do my laundry."

"Oh," Willow replied, her face lighting up again, "Well do you want some company? I, um, have some laundry too."

Tara nodded keenly.

"That would be great."

"Awesome!" Willow beamed, happy to have time to spend with Tara, though was trying not to think of the actual task, "Um, just give me five to grab my stuff?"

"Sure," Tara agreed brightly, "I have detergent."

"Right, detergent!" Willow nodded, not wanting to reveal the fact that she'd never actually done her own laundry before, "So I don't need to bring…"

Tara held up a blue bottle.

"It has softener in it."

Willow just bobbed her head, hoping it conveyed confidence in this subject.

"So, I'll, um, be right back!"

She skidded off without giving Tara a chance to respond and hurried up to her room, where Becky was hunched over her desk, tapping a pen against the side. She looked up as Willow came in.

"I thought you were hanging with Tara?" she asked, then gestured down at the variety of books and papers on her desk, "If you're staying in for the afternoon I need you to be quiet. Writing a paper."

Willow rolled her eyes.

"You know they have a whole building full of quiet. Call it the library."

Becky rolled her eyes right back.

"Let me clarify; I need quiet enough to concentrate, not so quiet that I get a death glare for eating chips," she responded, before throwing her pen down in frustration, "Eurgh, have you ever tried to study American literature from pre-1900? _Boring_."

Willow stared at her roommate like she had two heads.

"Why did you even major in English?"

"Things can be boring and interesting at the same time," Becky mused thoughtfully, though it just made Willow's brow crease.

"I'm pretty sure they're antonyms for each other," she said, then frowned deeper, "You should really know that."

Becky shrugged.

"I guess I just liked reading when I didn't have to write thousands of words of essays on them. Or analyse things that the damn author probably never even thought about."

Willow went to the corner of her side of the room to get her laundry hamper.

"Pre-1900 literature sounds like it would be fun to study. Mark Twain, Dubois. Writings from the civil war, the philosophical challenge of Darwinism. It's not like you're short of material."

Becky turned her head and tried to adopt a puppy-dog-eyes expression.

"Will you write my paper?"

"Can't!" Willow replied, bubbly, not that she would anyway, "Doing laundry!"

"Oh thank god," Becky replied dramatically, though good-naturedly, "I was about to toss your hamper out the window, it's been stinking up the room for weeks."

Willows eyes went wide.

"I-I've been distracted," she stammered, lifting the shirt she was wearing up to her nose, "I don't smell, do I? Oh god, what if Tara thinks I stink?"

"I was teasing, calm down," Becky chuckled, before raising an eyebrow at seeing her roommates laundry staying in the hamper and not being transferred into the drawstring bags she was used to seeing them leave the room in, "Wait do you mean…in the laundry room? You're doing it yourself?"

Willow nodded, pursing her lips and trying to remain poised.

"With Tara."

"Oh boy," Becky whistled, grinning from ear-to-ear, "I want the full story later."

Willow slumped but didn't want to admit defeat.

"It can't be that hard. Put them in the machine, take them out of the machine," she rationalised, "And uh, I probably won't be back tonight anyway."

"You hooking up with Tara is the best thing to happen to my sleep schedule in a long time," Becky replied with a playful smirk, "You're a great roommate, Will, but I'm really loving not being woken up before it's even light out."

"Glad my relationship is working out so well for you," Willow responded perkily, picking up her laundry hamper with both hands, "Wish me luck."

"You'll need it," Becky murmured, which Willow heard but chose to ignore.

She left with a quick goodbye and held her hamper above her head as she descended the stairs so as not to trip, then blushed wildly as she spotted Tara already waiting at the bottom.

"Sorry," she said as she approached, lowering her hamper and holding to the far side, conscious of Becky's 'stink' comment, teasing or not, "Becky, um, needed a motivation boost for her paper."

"No problem," Tara smiled easily, "All ready?"

"I have clothes," Willow answered, deciding she was definitely going to be able to bluff her way through this.

"I hope I didn't mess up your laundry schedule," Tara said as they both started to walk down the hallway.

"Oh no," Willow shook her head, "I, um…attend to it as needed."

She grinned that she'd managed to avoid without actually lying but it was short-lived as she almost gave herself away.

"Down here, silly," Tara said to her when she marched right past the staircase that led to the laundry room.

"Right! Knew that!" Willow replied, quickly turning towards the stairs, "My brain never works to full capacity when you're around."

_Smooth as a baby's bottom._

She grinned again in pride at her own ability to skirt around the topic while Tara blushed. She was grateful when at the end of the staircase was just two double doors with a plaque next to them confirming it was the laundry room and did the honours of kicking the doors open, standing with her back to one so Tara could get in.

The room was thankfully empty, but Willow was instantly intimidated by the numerous washing machines lining the wall as well as a block dead centre of the room, most of them already vibrating with movement.

She vowed not to show it as she followed Tara into one of the corners, which had two of the only free washing machines next to each other and set her hamper down on the floor.

She watched Tara start to toss her clothes into one of the washing machines one-by-one, so decided to follow suit in a more what she thought to be pragmatic way and just tossed the entire contents of her hamper into the other.

"Whoa, sweetie," Tara said as she saw the action, her eyes widening, "Aren't you separating?"

"From my clothes?" Willow asked in confusion, pulling at the collar of her shirt, then taking a step back in embarrassment, "They stink, don't they? Should I run up and get a robe to wear?"

Tara shook her head in confusion.

"No, I mean the ones…" she trailed off and gestured into the machine, "Your darks and your lights."

Willow gulped, wishing the ground could open up and swallow her at that moment.

"Right, of course! Because, the, um…"

"Colours would run together," Tara finished for her, before her eyes went wide in realisation, "Have you never done laundry before?"

Willow remained silent, but the look on her face gave her away, while Tara looked a little dumbfounded.

"How many clothes do you have?"

Willow sighed, knowing the jig was up and slumped back against the machines.

"There's a local service…they're called lazybones. I just put my clothes into a laundry bag all together and call them and then they collect it and bring it back all nice and clean and folded the next day."

"That sounds…" Tara started, unsure how to respond, "Expensive."

Willow shrugged.

"Well I figured it would probably even out with my time and the cost of detergent and everything."

Tara couldn't help a tiny smile.

"How much do you think detergent costs?"

Willow shrugged, she had no clue, though had the idea in her head that it was among the expensive items in a regular shopping cart.

"30 bucks?" she ventured.

Tara held up the bottle of detergent she'd brought.

"$6. It does 32 loads. Lasts a whole semester."

Willow looked like she was just told she'd gotten an F on an exam and quickly averted her gaze.

"You must think I'm such a snobby brat."

Tara features softened and she reached out to rub Willow's upper arm.

"No. I don't. You just never learned at home?"

Willow shook her head.

"A cleaning lady came in once a week, even when my parents were gone, took care of everything. I just never had to think about it. My parents were big on 'study, study, study' when I moved out here, prepaid the whole year for the laundry service. I just kept it up myself this year, it didn't occur to me not to."

Tara could see Willow was embarrassed and continued to rub her arm.

"Why did you say you wanted to do your laundry with me if you use that service?"

Willow shrugged again, still looking away.

"I wanted to be with you."

"Oh, honey," Tara replied, unable to hide a small, touched smile, "I can do my laundry some other time, when you're in class."

Willow shook her head, not wanting to disrupt Tara any further.

"No, no, I mean we're down here now."

Tara glanced between the two hampers.

"I could do your laundry for you if you wanted?"

Willow again shook her head, even more vigorously.

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't, I offered," Tara replied softly, but saw Willow was uncomfortable with it, "Well how about I show you how it's done?"

"Really?" Willow asked, wanting to regain some face.

Tara smiled kindly and nodded.

"It's not that hard, I promise. Might save you some money."

_Which I'll spend on you for being such an amazing girlfriend._

Willow just smiled instead of voicing her thought and started to reach back into the machine.

"So I guess I better take all these out, right?"

Tara helped her scoop her clothes back into her hamper, then bent down onto her knees and took a black pair of pants, leaving them to one side, and a green shirt, putting them on the other side.

"So this pile is for lights and this one is darks," she said gesturing between the two, "You don't look like you have any whites, but if you do, put them in a different pile too, but we might have to come back another day to do them."

Willow nodded to show she understood and began to pick and sort her clothes, quite enjoying the new way of organising, before a particular garment gave her pause.

"What about ones that are light and dark?" she asked, holding up a pair of stripped black and pink panties, before suddenly bunching them and blushing when she realised what exactly they were.

"They can go in the lights," Tara replied, her cheeks flushing a little too but her tone remaining as kind as ever.

Willow dropped them into the lights pile, trying to discreetly cover them and the rest of her underwear. A few t-shirts followed and some odd socks until her hamper was finally empty.

Tara had two similar piles and glanced up and around the room for a moment before looking back to Willow.

"Do you mind if we throw our stuff in together? There's only two machines free."

"Sure," Willow smiled, loving the idea of the domesticity of them doing so.

Tara smiled and gathered her 'lights' pile, throwing them into the machine, then did the same with Willow's.

"You have to be careful not to overload the machines, but this looks fine."

Willow nodded again and grabbed the bottle of detergent, keen to learn.

"Where do you put this in? I remember watching our house cleaner do it once when I was little but our machine opened at the top, it didn't have a front circle-y door like this one."

"Oh, well these ones have a little drawer," Tara explained, opening said drawer, "You just pour a capful in."

"Can I do it?" Willow asked eagerly, already unscrewing the top.

"Of course," Tara replied, "There's a little line in the cap that tells you where to fill it to and then you can just pour it in."

Willow, with scientific precision, filled the cap of detergent and poured it into the allocated slot.

"Did I do it right?" she asked, her eyes wide with childlike hope.

Tara smiled and nodded.

"Best detergent-pouring I've ever seen."

The words could have been mocking, but coming from Tara, they were nothing but genuine. Willow looked shy, but proud, and excited that she'd learned a new task.

"Now what do we do?"

"We turn the machine to the right setting," Tara answered, showing Willow the different indicators.

"I didn't realise there were so many options," Willow replied, trying to make sense of all the different words and symbols, "Isn't there just a 'wash' button?"

"Well different types of clothing require different temperatures and stuff," Tara responded, then began to point out what they needed for that load, "This one we can put on a cold wash, spin cycle and set it to dry after."

Willow seemed surprised.

"It's a dryer too?"

Tara nodded.

"The whole laundry room got revamped last year, they took out the old machines and put in these combos. I think a lot of people complained about there never being a free machine."

Willow listened, then suddenly looked sad, but tried to hide it as they got their dark load on as well.

"I normally wait until it's finished," Tara said as both machines filled with water and began to spin, "People dump your clothes on the floor if you're not down here the moment it's done, some even take them out in the middle of the cycle if there's no machines available."

"Sure, we can wait," Willow nodded, though her enthusiasm had clearly been deflated.

Tara led them over to the nearest wall and sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest while Willow sat turned at an angle towards her, her back leaning against the vending machine in the room. She kept her gaze down and idly turned the wheel underneath around, until she felt Tara take her hand in her lap and shuffle towards her.

"What's wrong, sweetie? You got all sad between loads. Are you worried about folding them? Because I can do it for you, no problem."

Willow couldn't help but smile both at the assumption and offer but shook her head.

"No, that's not it. It's just...I always thought I was such a proud student. You know, go eagles! Not that I went to any sporting events, but still. Proud to go here. But I don't know anything that's even going on in my own building, let alone the whole campus. Didn't know about why it was built or why the single rooms have bathrooms or that the laundry room got a makeover. Hell, I've never even been to the kitchen. Or anywhere really on the ground floor before I met you. Been in the common room maybe twice. I would just go right upstairs to my dorm, la la la, who cares that I live in a community."

Tara was confused as to where this was coming from but did her best to comfort her girlfriend.

"Honey, there's nothing wrong with that. You're a great student, the university is lucky to have you," she replied with a hand squeeze, though could tell straight away there was more to this than Willow had revealed, "But that's not what you're upset about."

"Stop knowing me so well, it's scary," Willow responded, trying to laugh off the tension, but her shoulders remained tight and it was obvious after a moment that she was trying to swallow a lump that had formed in her throat before she spoke again, though far more choked this time, "You were right there, right below me for eighteen months and I didn't even know it because I didn't bother to look."

"Willow…" Tara tried to venture but was quickly cut off.

"No, it's true," Willow replied with another swallow as words began to tumble out, "I let Becky set me up to get her off my back and when those girls…girl, singular, actually from the LGBT club asked me out I agreed because I thought that's what you were supposed to do, I mean girls who don't get asked out take any opportunity they can get right? It didn't make sense to me, but that's what everyone kept saying! Beggars can't be choosers! Even though I didn't really think I was a beggar because I don't see the point of dating someone just for the sake of dating someone. But that's not how the world works, Willow! A date is a date, you've got to get yourself out there! And I told you I never got past date three with any of them but that was a lie because I never even got past date one I just didn't want you to think I was a loser that no one wanted to see again!"

Tara watched in alarm as Willow's face grew as red as her hair in her exertions and quickly clasped her hand between both of hers.

"Take a breath, darling," she encouraged, then felt a pang in her heart when she saw a single tear fall down Willow's cheek and reached for a Kleenex that she had in her pocket and gently wiped it away, "Hey, now, you're getting all worked up. You thought me, Miss No-Dates-Ever would judge you over that?"

Willow shook her head.

"Not now. But I'd already said it," she replied with a sniffle, gratefully taking the tissue and wiping at her eyes, "I…I don't mind that I went out on those dates. And I'm glad I didn't let myself be pressured into continuing with them. It all just confirms to me how special what I feel for you is now. I just wish so much time hadn't been wasted. All I had to do was…come down to the common room on a Tuesday night when you were watching your show or made an effort to get to know more people in the building or…just done my own damn laundry. And I could have found you."

Tara could see this was a clear point of contention for Willow and has obviously been on her mind for longer than just that moment. She shuffled over so they were shoulder to shoulder and let their clasped hands rest on her thigh.

"Maybe we met when we did for a reason. Maybe we both needed time to be by ourselves before we were ready to be together."

Willow turned her head towards Tara.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Tara started in answer, "We both went through a lot of stuff in our first year of college, stuff we needed to go through. We needed time. So I could deal with my past, be open to our relationship. So you could come out to your parents, for yourself, by yourself. College was such a big change, we probably both needed the time to adjust and settle in before throwing ourselves into this adventure. I think things happened just the way they were supposed to."

"You don't wish we'd known each other sooner?" Willow asked, a little hurt.

Tara just smiled.

"I feel like I've known you my whole life."

Willow finally let a little smile of her own form and decided she liked Tara's explanation.

"The timing thing makes sense," she agreed, before her eyes lit up, "Einstein said 'The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once'. If you can't trust Einstein on this stuff, who can you trust?"

"He definitely seems like a credible source," Tara agreed with a crooked smile, then leaned over to leave a quick kiss on Willow's cheek, "You okay?"

Willow was a little embarrassed at her outburst but was mostly giddy from feeling Tara's lips on her cheek.

"I know you must really like me when you don't go running after my crazy freak-outs."

"My mom told me never to run away from the truth," Tara replied promptly and with genuine warmth, "Being with you is the truest thing I've ever felt."

Willow felt another tightening in her throat and opened her mouth to reply; to reiterate, to tell Tara how right and true and perfect being with her felt, but couldn't find even a single word that would express it all in the hundreds of thousands of words that lived in her brain.

She eventually settled for another soft smile.

"She sounds smarter than Einstein."

Tara seemed to agree as her eyes glanced away with a fond smile, before she dropped her head to rest on Willow's shoulder. Willow turned her face in to kiss the part in her hair, taking the opportunity to discreetly inhale the spicy vanilla scent Tara seemed to emanate from her.

"You make me so happy," she whispered, so quiet that it was lost, but it didn't matter, the sentiment seemed to be just permeating the air around them.

After a few minutes of quiet contentment staying in that embrace, Tara lifted her head and twisted it a few times to stretch out a kink that had started to form before relaxing back to rest it against the machine behind them.

Willow shifted a little so they were still as close as they could be without sitting in each others' lap and smiled as their gazes settled on one another.

"Never been kissed in a laundry room, you know," she said, leaving out it was only one of the multitude of places she hadn't been kissed before meeting Tara, "I have to wonder… would it be different than say a dorm room…or in a bar…or…"

"We made out in the library last week," Tara helped out, making Willow go wide-eyed with the same giddiness than when they'd actually been doing it.

"In front of the books!"

Tara smiled softly; Willow had explained to her the next morning why kissing in front of the books had had such an effect on her.

"Do you think they were judging our technique?"

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm not taking any judgement from Scout Finch or Holden Caulfield!" Willow replied with a giggle, which made Tara laugh too.

Willow felt herself smiling as she watched how Tara's whole face lit up with her laugh; her nose scrunching and eyes bright. The sun chose that moment to move across the window above them, cascading her face in light.

"You're so beautiful," she said, the words coming before she even realised, but was happy for them to do so.

Tara blushed and went to drop her gaze, but found it too firmly held to be able to. She lifted their conjoined hands and tapped her fingertips against Willow's as she leant over to close the small gap between their lips.

Willow smiled against her girlfriend's lips and decided that kissing in the laundry room was every bit as wonderful as any other place, as long as it was Tara's lips she was kissing.

They were able to go a little longer undisturbed than their library antics this time, before Willow began pulling at Tara's hip. The motion inadvertently urged Tara backwards and gave the soda machine enough momentum to push itself away, causing them both to slip a little.

"Whoops," Tara commented with a shy smile, "We moved the soda machine."

"Maybe it wanted in on the action," Willow joked before suddenly jumping up and fishing for change in her pocket, "Wanna share a root beer?"

Tara nodded.

"Sure."

Willow dropped four quarters into the coin slot and pressed the button for root beer, then heard the rumble of indication that the can was being dropped. The clang happened a moment later and Willow retrieved it, then held it up with a sigh.

"We got Mountain Dew," she said, sitting back down beside Tara and popping the tab, "Guess the soda machine wasn't included in the revamp."

She offered Tara the first sip, then took one herself, giving a satisfied sigh as she left it on the floor between them. She retook Tara's hand and shot an affectionate smile in her direction.

"Doing laundry together. I like it. I think lazybones have gotten their last phone call from me. We could even have a standing laundry date if you wanted."

Tara seemed keen and returned the smile.

"That would be nice. I normally bring a book to read while I waited, but you're much better company."

Willow looked bashful but pleased.

"Is this time kind of time good? Tuesday afternoons? We both have those afternoons free. How often do you do it?"

"Once a week," Tara answered, "And this is always been when I've done it, so definitely works for me."

"Great!" Willow beamed, "I'll even provide the soda."

She held up the can in a mock-toast and delighted in the giggle it produced from her girlfriend.

They shared the rest of the soda and chatted some, having to forego any more kissing sessions when more people arrived to collect their laundry and some stayed to do more loads.

Their machines finished the cycles within just a few seconds of each other, and Tara showed Willow how to easily fold the clothes back into the hamper. There was some blushing as they handed each other bras and panties as they sorted and folded until they were all finished and heading back in the direction of Tara's dorm.

"…and the big ball of yarn said string theory!" Willow delivered the punch line to the joke she'd been telling on the way up, beaming when Tara actually laughed, "No one ever gets my jokes."

"I think they're funny," Tara replied with a smile as she set her hamper on the floor outside her room to put the key in the lock, "But I might have to brush up on my particle physics if they get any more complicated."

"The fact that you know the words 'particle physics' is more than enough for me," Willow answered as she followed Tara into her dorm, then looked down at her own hamper, "Guess I better bring these upstairs."

"Okay," Tara responded as she set hers down on her bed and started to remove her clothes to put away, "Oh, by the way, I cleared out a drawer for you if you wanted to leave some stuff instead of stuffing your pyjamas into your book bag in the mornings."

Willow's eyes almost bugged out of her head, but she tried to remain as composed as Tara seemed to be, calmly sorting her clothing into piles.

"You…you're giving me a drawer?"

"Uh huh," Tara replied casually, not looking up, "I can make more room if you need it."

Willow felt like letting out a squeal of joy and doing a happy dance all at the same time but managed to stay collected as she walked over to the dresser and saw the top, emptied one just a little open.

"So I'm just gonna leave my stuff in here. My clothes. That I wear. And change into. Here."

Tara looked over her shoulder and smiled, not aware of the social meaning behind the gesture, though did get a thrill from the idea of Willow sharing her space in such a way.

Willow reached up to the knob on the dresser and pulled it out more, looking inside reverently, seeing so much more than just an empty space. She took a second to take in the enormity of it, wondering if she was making too big a deal, but then decided no; this was a big moment.

She started to fold some clothes into the drawer, separating it into four parts in her mind; some pants in the first quarter, followed by a few neatly stacked t-shirts, then her three favourite sweaters and ended with her bras, panties and socks aligned tidily.

_I could stay here for a whole week without having to go up to my dorm!_

She kicked her now half-emptied hamper into the corner to deal with later and waltzed over to Tara, holding her from behind. She rested her chin on her girlfriend's shoulder and felt Tara wiggle happily.

She closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the embrace, then opened them and chuckled when she saw a kitten-patterned sock poking out between two of Tara's t-shirts.

"You stole my sock."

Tara spotted the errant sock sticking out in the corner and plucked it up, holding it out for Willow.

"Forgive me?"

Willow felt herself melt at the smile she was given and adjusted her gaze coyly with her own answering grin.

"Yeah."

She took the sock and tossed it over to her hamper before wrapping her arms around Tara tight again.

"I'm sorry, I'm almost done," Tara said, mistaking it for impatience, "Just let me put them away and we can do something."

Willow shook her head into Tara's neck.

"Take your time."

She gave her girlfriend's midsection a squeeze and kissed the corner of her eye.

"Long as I don't have to move from right here, I'm the happiest girl in the world."


	15. Chapter 15

**Guest** – Thanks!

**Missocki** – Will is definitely quirky, it's why we love her! And yeah, I know many a person that's never done their own laundry…they'll get a shock someday!

**Queenphoenix08** – A chapter dedicated to laundry is boring, I know, but I'm glad you could enjoy the fluff :)

**Willowtarafan4life** – Glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, they're really settling into each others' lives. Not sure about Buffy characters, between the trip to Sunnydale in 'Family' and the ones that appear in 'Hacker', a lot of them have been used up!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – When I see 'cat', I generally read 'pussy' :P

Ah, glad the word vomit was okay :) (and I'll keep any other kind hidden)

Say yes to PDA when it's W/T involved :D

Willow to the butch rescue! I like it, it should catch on.

Did I do something to piss off my math teacher? Just failed all my tests and never did my homework lol

Hey, it's not me that makes laundry adorable, it's all them!

:)

(PS I love your pic! Have you seen Dust Up? Isn't Amber just awesome in it? Everyone is really, so funny. I loved it!)

* * *

"Your hair is so pretty."

Tara looked up from the textbook she had been reading from and blushed.

"You're supposed to be studying."

Willow shuffled on her stomach along the grass in the quad to get closer to Tara.

"I am. I'm studying you and your pretty hair."

Willow closed her own textbook, deciding it was much too dull a thing to be concentrating on when she was lying out in the sun with her girlfriend.

"I love your zigzag part. It must take forever."

Tara tried to keep her focus, but couldn't help smiling.

"Not really, I normally just do while I'm reading over notes for whatever class I have that morning."

"Yeah I've seen you playing with your hair a few mornings," Willow mused, leaning over to kiss right in the middle of her head, "Well it's super cute."

Tara smiled shyly and turned the page of her textbook, highlighter ready for when she needed it. After several moments realised she had a very steady gaze fixed on her. She turned her head and saw Willow resting her chin under her palms, just smiling at her.

"Willow, you have an exam in the morning," she tried to reason.

"I've studied!" Willow protested, not wanting to be disturbed from her favourite pastime of late, "I know it! Ask me anything! Chromosomes; social influences; systemising and empathising thinking; gender contention – I'm all schooled up!"

"We agreed we'd study for an hour," Tara replied, looking at her watch pointedly, "It's only been twenty minutes."

"Fine," Willow grumbled, dramatically dropping her head against her textbook.

_Who would have thought I'd ever be annoyed about studying? Well it's dumb and unnecessary when Tara-gazing could be occurring!_

She flipped her textbook open and pretended to read for appearances sake, but she wasn't really taking anything in – she was being truthful before, she really had boned up on what she needed to for her exam the following day; and while a second, third and fourth re-checking of this information would be commonplace for her, it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, she was lying under her favourite oak tree with her favourite person, and she had better ideas than reading the same things over and over again.

_Key parental roles, blah blah, social expectations, blah blah blah, chromosomal abnormalities, blah blah BLAH._

She leaned her head down on the left side of her book and pretended to read the right page, all the while taking sneaky glances of Tara. She smiled, proud at her sneakiness, but also in admiration of how beautiful Tara looked; the sun hitting against her face and lighting it up, the way she was nibbling on the lid of her highlighter, the way her brow creased every so often when she had to re-read something to make sense of it.

_She's so perfect. Has it been an hour yet?_

She glanced at her watch and saw that no, it hadn't been, but they were edging closer, so that was something at least. She wondered if she might be able to get away with playing on her phone (and maybe take a sneaky picture or two) to pass the last few minutes, but her attempt at a hidden forage in her nearby book bag only located an apple she'd thrown in there at lunch.

She shrugged, figuring it was better than nothing and dug her teeth into the shiny green skin. She looked down at her textbook again and saw there was only two pages in the chapter left to reread, on the at least moderately interesting subject of the media's constructions of femininity and masculinity, so she resolved to finish it, but not before doing the polite thing and offer to share her apple – she was nothing if not well-mannered.

"Want a bite?"

Tara turned her head away from the book and shook her head softly. She was about to voice gratitude for the offer, when an unexpected shiver went through her spine – the sun had moved to hide behind the tree and the late afternoon was bringing in a light breeze.

Willow saw it straight away and dropped her apple onto her book before whipping her sweater off to leave over her girlfriend's shoulders. Tara shook her head and started to hand it back.

"Don't be silly, Will. You only have a little t-shirt on, you'll be cold."

"You just shivered, therefore already are cold," Willow countered, refusing to take the item of clothing back, "Anyway, I'm from California, I'm warm-blooded. I don't need the sweater."

Tara again went to shrug it off.

"But-"

"Let me take care of my girl," Willow interrupted with a warm smile, "Okay?"

Tara smiled bashfully and pulled the sweater on completely, thankful it fit her comfortably and she wouldn't stretch it out. She shot Willow a grateful look and leaned over to show her gratitude with her lips.

_Love how sweet she is…Love how much she cares about me…Love her kisses…Love her. Love…her. Love her. I love her. I love her._

She retreated from the kiss, her eyes wide at the sudden clarity of thought. Willow wiped her mouth self-consciously when she saw what she perceived as Tara gaping at her.

"What's wrong? Do I have something in my teeth?"

Tara was snapped back into reality then and quickly shook her head.

"No, no. It's just I…"

She swallowed her words, unsure whether to voice them.

Should she say it?

What if Willow didn't feel the same?

Was it too soon?

They'd only been together a couple of months, though she had no idea what the social conventions on this kind of thing were. Even if she did, she had a feeling they hadn't been following them in their relationship so far anyway.

"I just remembered I forgot to take a book back to the library."

She hoped it wasn't obvious how blatant a lie that was, and appeared to be successful as Willow just smiled at her.

"Oh. Don't worry about, I'm going later anyway. I'll take it back for you."

"Thanks," Tara replied, forcing a weak smile and wondering what book she had that she could give her girlfriend to return.

She turned back to her book but any attempts at studying went out the window as the words all mashed together, her brain unable to contemplate anything but these newly-discovered feelings.

She remembered when she was very little and her mother had told her she loved her at least three times a day. She had asked why once and her mother had simply said that when you loved someone, you should tell them.

"Willow?" she tried after another minute or two, thinking she'd found the confidence.

Willow turned her head again and smiled.

"Uh huh?"

Tara opened her mouth, but couldn't quite get the words out.

"I…I think you've got something in your hair," she clenched her teeth and kicked herself internally as she chickened out and pretended to pick out an invisible piece of lint from Willow's hair, "Got it."

"Thanks, baby," Willow replied warmly, taking the last bite of her apple before tossing the core into a nearby trashcan.

She turned the last page of her chapter and closed her eyes to make sure she could list the examples without looking, when suddenly she felt something fly past her hand. She looked down and saw a small, ripped and folded piece of notebook paper sitting square in the centre of her book.

She was confused as to where it came from and examined the pages of her textbook to see if it had somehow grown hands and had gotten into self-mutilation. When that, what seemed to be obvious reason to her, was ruled out, she opted for further examination and picked the piece of paper up, unfolding the two creases until it was flat.

She read the words etched onto it, but it only further increased her confusion.

_I love you. I love you. The paper loves me? Or the pen loves the paper and wrote on it to tell it? Clearly I've gone completely crazy. Loony, screwy, kooky. All because of Tara. Yep–Tara! Tara! Tara wrote this!_

Her breath caught in her throat as some rationale finally broke through.

_She loves me! She's telling me she loves me! And I love her! Of course I do! Tell her, quick!_

She turned her head and saw Tara trying to appear to be calmly reading her textbook, but her tense body language said differently. Willow closed her own book, making sure the scrap of paper was safe inside, and lay back down on her stomach beside Tara.

She opened her mouth to speak; so many words ready to fall out, so many ways she could express how she was feeling, but in the end she, for once, knew she only needed a few.

"I love you, too."

Tara blinked a couple of times, unsure if she'd heard right. She chanced turning her head towards Willow, about to shakily ask if she'd heard what she thought she'd heard, but Willow took gentle possession of her lips before she had a chance.

Tara couldn't help but respond, the soft caress calming her pounding heart, but only for a minute. She broke the kiss but stayed close; eyes meeting Willow's, hopeful yet vulnerable.

"I just have to make sure…I didn't just imagine that you said-"

Willow cut her off by smiling and bumping their noses together.

"I love you," she whispered, "I love you with all my heart."

"You do?" Tara asked, her voice soft but emotional.

Willow reached for one of Tara's hands and held it tenderly.

"It's so weird, I didn't even realise that I hadn't said it. Like, I felt it in my heart and just... I love you. I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. I love you. I love you so much."

Tara looked down at the hand covering hers and smiled softly.

"I feel the same."

Willow sought out Tara's eyes, shining with giddy joy.

"You gonna tell me or do I have to read the paper again?"

Tara blushed lightly but kept Willow's gaze.

"I love you, Willow."

Willow's breath audibly quickened.

"Wow," she said, rubbing her hand over her chest as she felt a deep fluttering sensation, "We might have to limit how often you say that or I might have a heart attack. Actually scratch that. Worth it. Say it again."

Tara cradled Willow's hand tenderly and drew a shy circle on her palm.

"I love you."

Willow smile slowly spread across her face, then she jumped up in excitement. She let out a happy yelp and pulled Tara up with her, twirling her around.

"We're in love, we're in love!"

They attracted a few stares but neither seemed to care much as Willow wrapped her arms Tara and hugged her tight. She pressed her lips against her girlfriend's ear, then cupped her cheeks to kiss all over her face.

"Okay, that's it, I'm putting my girlfriend-y foot down! No more study!" Willow announced, bouncing on the balls of her feet, then added on sheepishly, "I mean, if that's okay with you."

Tara smiled and nodded; she knew any concentration for the day had long been flown out the window.

Willow clapped her hands together, then made a grab for Tara's.

"Let me take you out for dinner. I've never taken you out to a restaurant and if ever there was an occasion…" she trailed off hopefully, but saw Tara's instant unease at the suggestion, "I'm not talking some place with a French name we can't even pronounce. How about that little Italian we pass on the way to the T? I've never been but it looks nice. Cosy. Please, Tara? This is special."

She frowned when she realised she'd just made her girlfriend uncomfortable when Tara still didn't meet her gaze. She moved her hands to Tara's hips and kissed her cheek.

"If you wanna get a pizza and eat in bed, that's fine. More than fine. I just wanted to treat you to something special, because you're so special to me."

Tara thought about it for a moment. She felt guilty that she couldn't afford things like restaurants or movie dates - she saved her pennies so she could buy Willow a coffee every once in a while or even get them a pizza once in a blue moon, but that was the extent her budget allowed.

But was it really so bad to let Willow treat her when she seemed so willing? And she couldn't deny it was a special occasion.

She finally let her lips quirk upwards into a shy smile and gave a soft nod.

"Okay. Thank you, that would be really sweet."

"Really?!" Willow asked, her whole face lighting up, "Yay! Are you hungry, do you want to go now?"

Tara nodded again so Willow quickly went to gather her things.

"Great!" she practically yelled, overcome with excitement as she threw her book bag over her shoulder and gathered the rest of hers and Tara's books in her arms, "We'll just drop this stuff off and get changed super quick!"

She ploughed ahead in a half-bounce, half-skip and Tara had to make an effort to keep up.

"Um, all my clean stuff is in my room," Willow said as they went through the doors of their building, "I'll meet you in yours in a few?"

"Do you want me to take your books for the morning?" Tara asked, before adding shyly, "If you're staying over."

"Haven't missed a Tara-cuddle yet!" Willow quipped, handing over "I'll just be a couple of minutes."

Tara smiled and nodded, then started to turn to walk towards her dorm but Willow suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her back, kissing her warmly on the mouth.

"Love you!" she said giddily before bouncing away and up the stairs.

She took the steps two at a time and did a twirl as she reached the top for good effect. A guy rushing past her stopped to give her an odd look but Willow didn't even notice as she skipped down the hallway and burst through the door of her room.

"Becky, guess what, she said she–" she started to gush as she entered before promptly squealing when she saw her roommate wasn't alone in her bed, "So sorry! Leaving! Bye!"

She clapped her hand over her eyes and tried to blindly find her way out the door again, while Becky sat up in her bed and sighed.

"Willow, chill out, we're fully clothed."

Willow stopped scrambling around but still had a grimace on her face.

"Didn't mean to disturb. Just wanted to grab some clothes."

"You can take your hand away from your eyes," Becky replied slowly as if speaking to a small child.

Willow dropped her hand but kept her eyes closed another moment before venturing one open, then the other as she gave the man lying next to Becky with slightly-tousled hair an embarrassed wave.

"Hi Paul."

Paul smiled easily.

"Hi Willow."

There was a brief lull of awkward silence before Willow turned on her heels and headed straight for her closet.

"So, like I said, just grabbing some clothes," she said as she pushed some hangers around and tried to find appropriate 'going-out' attire, "Taking my lovely girlfriend out. Love-ly. Really, really _lovely_."

Becky cast Paul a sidelong look and shook her head as she pushed herself to perch on the end of the bed.

"You're doing that thing where you think you're being really obvious and no one has any idea what you're talking about."

Willow forwent her search and jumped around then, giddily bouncing on the spot.

"Tara said she loves me!"

Becky's demeanour instantly changed from annoyed to excited as she stood and rushed over to her friend.

"Did you say it back?"

"Of course!" Willow exclaimed.

"That's awesome!" Becky replied, grinning, then cast a look over her shoulder at her Paul, "Isn't that awesome?"

Paul looked like a deer caught in headlights and started to open and close his mouth like a fish.

"Uh…um…uh…"

Becky rolled her eyes, sensing he thought she expected him to say something similar.

"Oh calm down, I'm not looking for a declaration," she said before turning back to Willow and clapping her hands, "I'm so happy for you."

"Happy for you," Paul called out too, though still with a little squeak in his voice.

Becky grinned at Paul's nerves, but was focused on Willow.

"You said you're taking her out? Where?"

"That Italian place on the corner," Willow answered, turning back to her closet, "What do I wear?"

Becky joined her to help.

"What's she wearing?"

"I-I don't know," Willow replied, going wide-eyed, then grabbing the very few items in her closet that would be deemed 'appropriate' for such an event, "I'll bring them all and ask her."

"Uh, you can just call–" Becky started, but Willow was already skidding towards the door, the bundle of clothes in her hand.

"Thanks, bye," she called back to them before suddenly coming to a halt as she for the first time noticed a giant screen in Becky's corner of the room, significantly larger than the one she was used to seeing, "Uh…was that always there? Because I know I haven't been around much, but I'm pretty sure I'd remember that thing taking over your whole wall."

Becky walked over and flopped back down on her bed.

"Look what Daddy Dearest bought me for my birthday!"

Willow's brow creased in confusion.

"Your birthday isn't 'til October."

"Yeah he probably mixed me up with one of the kids from the second family in Montana or the third in New Mexico," Becky replied with a 'go figure' look, then brightened, "Who cares, I got a bitchin' new TV!"

She had long given up attempting to care about the lack of paternal interest she had in her life and figured she might as well get something out the deal, so happily and wordlessly accepted the gifts sent to her at random occasions.

Willow gave a quiet nod, but was still confused.

"But didn't your old one work perfectly fine?"

"It wasn't a flat-screen," Becky replied in a sing-song voice.

"That is cool," Willow had to admit, admiring its shiny new-ness, "So what are you doing with your old one?"

Becky shrugged.

"Paul said he'd take it somewhere to toss it."

"Toss it?" Willow asked in shock, "But it works!"

"It's just gonna take up space," Becky whined, then shifted uncomfortably as she realised how she sounded, "Guess that makes me sound like a spoilt brat. Does Goodwill take TVs?

Neither of the other two knew, but Willow had a better idea.

"If you're just getting rid of it, can Tara have it?"

"She doesn't have a TV?" Becky asked in astonishment that anyone could live such a way, "Sure!"

"I'll pay you," Willow said quickly, but Becky just shook her head.

"So I can spend your parent's guilt money instead of my Dad's guilt money?" she asked with a wry grin, the subject having been the subject of numerous discussions between them since they'd become roommates, "It's all good, but thanks."

"Where does Tara live?" Paul suddenly asked.

"Uh, right down there," Willow answered, pointing downwards, "109."

"I'll bring it down if you want," Paul offered, scooting off the end of the bed, "I'll just get it all back together. Do you want it now or later?"

"Now," Becky interjected before Willow had a chance to respond, putting her hand on Paul's bicep and squeezing, "I have plans for you later."

Willow chose to ignore the implication.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, grabbing her bundle of clothes again, "I better get back, I said I'd only be a few minutes! Have a good, uh, evening!"

She rushed out the door back down the stairs, swinging Tara's door open with ease.

"Sorry I took so long, I couldn't pick what to wear and hey, didn't I tell you to lock that door and–" she started but cut her babble off promptly when she saw her girlfriend sitting on her bed, eyes downcast and playing with her hands in her lap, "Are you okay?"

She quickly walked over and left her clothes at the top of the bed before sitting beside Tara to take her hand. Tara didn't look up and remained silent for a few moments before eventually speaking up in an embarrassed tone.

"I-I don't have anything to wear. The last time I was at a restaurant I was nine years old and eating chicken nuggets."

Willow held Tara's hand and rubbed over her knuckles gently.

"You don't need to change. I was just changing because my t-shirt has dancing penguins on it and I don't know how the Italians feel about penguins," she replied in all seriousness, "Wouldn't wanna call an international incident."

Tara looked up and had a tiny smile on her face.

"I like the penguins."

Willow looked down at her shirt, then smiled back at Tara.

"You know what? Neither of us needs to change. We're celebrating us – penguins and peasant skirts included. Let me just throw a sweater on, it's getting chilly," she said, then grinned as she saw Tara about to speak and got there first, "And before you say it, keep that one on. I like how my clothes look on you."

Tara blushed, both at the compliment and that Willow had anticipated what she was going to say, then stood and went to her closet, taking a blue sweater out and offering it.

"Thanks!" Willow replied with a beaming smile, slipping it over her shoulders and buttoning the bottom few buttons, "It's so soft! It's the fabric softener you use, isn't it? Because my clothes have totally been softer since we started doing laundry together."

"I normally throw a dryer ball in, too," Tara answered, only for Willow to look blank, "Those, um, spikey plastic balls."

"Ohhhh!" Willow replied, the understanding dawning on her face, "I was wondering why the heck you were putting dog toys in there, but you know, Ms-Never-Did-Her-Own-Laundry wasn't about to question. So they make them softer?"

Tara nodded.

"They take the stiffness out."

"That's so cool!" Willow replied, instantly wondering about the mechanics of such a device, but she didn't get much of a chance to ponder as a loud, rushed knock at the door startled them both, then made her grin as she remembered what it was, "I have a surprise for you…"

She trailed off teasingly and walked over to the door, expecting Paul, but instead just saw the television and its wires sitting on the floor.

A few seconds later she heard a banging sound through the concrete above them, like someone was jumping on the bed up there. It took another few seconds for her to deduce that it wasn't jumping they were doing.

She shook her head to rid herself of the image and dropped to pick the television up. It was less heavy than she was expecting and she was easily able to stand and turn, then kick the door closed again.

"Ta-da!" she announced, grinning at her girlfriend, who looked utterly lost.

"Is that a television?"

"Uh huh! It's for you!" Willow replied before quickly adding when she saw Tara about to speak, "Now, see I'm all with the psychic-Willow today because I know what you're going to say again! I didn't buy this. This is the old one from my dorm and it's going spare."

"Going spare?" Tara questioned uncomfortably.

"Becky got a brand new one," Willow replied, easing the TV down onto Tara's bed, the bulkiness getting the better of her.

Tara glanced down.

"She doesn't want to sell it?"

Willow scoffed.

"This is Becky we're talking about, that's way too much like hard work."

Tara still looked uneasy.

"Give it to a friend?"

"She's giving it to you!" Willow responded cheerfully, but it faltered when she saw Tara was still less than receptive, "She was really happy about it getting to be used. Really."

She reached for Tara's hand again and gave it a squeeze.

"You know you're really bad at accepting gifts," she said to her, seeking her eyes under the curtains of hair Tara was trying to hide behind, "That's all this is. Not charity or anything. She had something she doesn't need any more and thought you might like it."

Tara felt Willow's fingers playing with hers and looked up into the kind eyes. Those combined with the hopeful smile on Willow's face meant denying the gift just wasn't possible.

"I don't know how to set it up," she said shyly.

Willow smiled wide.

"That's okay, I can do it!" she replied, ecstatic that Tara had accepted, "When we come back, okay?"

Tara nodded, then looked towards the door.

"I should say thanks to Becky."

"Uh, I wouldn't right this second," Willow replied, her cheeks flushing and eyes darting around, "She's, um, uh, not, uh, alone."

Tara seemed confused for a moment before realising and blushing too.

"Right," she responded, clearing her throat, "I'll, um, catch her in the morning."

"Probably best," Willow nodded, then promptly offered her arm, "Can I take ya out now, please? I have a beautiful girl I want to show off."

Tara gave a pleased smile and linked her arm through Willow's.

"And I have one too."


	16. Chapter 16

**StephenPG** – I put the flashbacks in where they felt organic in 'Hacker', but yes, it was around this time or not long after that the prequel idea was proposed to me, so there was some decision to stop the full out flashbacks and tease with references. And there was no flashback to their first time because then there'd be nothing exciting about a chapter coming up in two or three weeks' time ;) And yes I will choose making out over running from The Gentlemen every time!

**Missocki **– Willow is quite the romantic, and that day was one of the best of her life so she wants a constant reminder. Glad you like this verse, 'cause I just love writing it!

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you enjoyed it! Hope you enjoy the date!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Yeah, they just pretty much all hate me :P They so could…they could make vampires look cute if they were ones! Can you expect an interruption? Maybe…but no assholes involved this time!

You describe Dust Up perfectly! One of my favourite movies of the year (and not just 'cause Amber's in it :P)

* * *

"I love this time of the evening."

Tara looked over to Willow as they walked, hand-in-hand, along a pebbled street on the way to the restaurant. Willow smiled back easily and continued.

"It's just getting dark, starting to get chilly…the sky is this wonderful deep blue…" she trailed off for a moment as she looked into the other deep blue she'd fallen in love with, before blushing and averting her gaze, "I just really love it."

Tara noticed the affectionate glance and felt her cheeks flush in response, but was smiling from ear-to-ear.

"I like it too. I think it's my favourite after sunrise."

"Sunrise is great!" Willow exclaimed, before adding on excitedly, "We should watch it together sometime."

Tara nodded keenly.

"I'd like that."

"Great!" Willow beamed, a distinctive skip appearing in her step.

They arrived outside the restaurant just a minute later, and could see the place already had quite a few patrons inside. Willow headed straight for the door and went to open it but stopped short when she saw Tara discreetly but nervously checking her appearance in the window.

She walked up close to her and took her hands, swinging her back around.

"You look so pretty. I'm so proud walking in there with you," she gushed with genuine warmth, then looked down at herself, "Penguins still okay?"

Tara felt herself falling in love with Willow all over again and swallowed back a lump she felt starting to form. She kept Willow's hands tight and smiled softly.

"Almost as cute as you."

Willow ducked her head and grinned bashfully, before offering her arm again. Tara linked in and let Willow lead them into the restaurant, where they were greeted by a handsome, African-American man with a dazzling white smile, about their age or a little older.

"We would like a table for two, please," Willow said to him, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Sure," the waiter replied, reaching for two menus and, while doing so, took the opportunity to let his gaze linger on Tara.

Tara was oblivious, taking interest in some of the art decorating the walls, but Willow noticed straight away. She spent the first few seconds fixing him with a patented Willow-glare but when she followed his eyes to a particular point on Tara's chest, she aggressively grabbed the menus and plonked them into his hands.

"There's the menus," she said, dropping Tara's arm to insistently take her hand, "You looked like you were struggling."

The waiter glanced up at her but was as oblivious to Willow's gaze as Tara was to his.

"Right this way," he said, gesturing them forwards.

Tara took a step further into the restaurant and Willow stood protectively around her to shield her girlfriend from any more prying eyes.

_Yep. That's totally what I'm doing. Protecting her. Not in the least bit jealous at all._

Tara looked over her shoulder and smiled shyly at Willow, who just pressed a kiss against her cheek, then pulled her chair out for her girlfriend as she shot the waiter a 'get it?' look.

He just smiled at her; either not getting it or not caring and Willow rolled her eyes as she took her own seat, then just shook her head and smiled. She wasn't going to let some oblivious guy ruin their special date.

"Can I get you ladies some drinks?" the waiter asked as he set a menu down in front of each of them, but was shooting his smile in Tara's direction, "I'm Deon by the way."

Tara smiled back up at him in a way that could have been interpreted as coy, but Willow knew it was just her nervousness at being in such a setting

"Just some water, please."

"Still or sparkling?" Deon asked, smiling again and revealing his dimples, "You look like a sparkling kind of girl."

Tara shook her head softly.

"Still is fine."

Deon nodded, then looked to Willow.

"And for you, ma'am?"

Willow sensed that this guy really _didn't_get it and decided as long as he wasn't being a creep, she could let it go.

"Iced tea, please. Actually can you just bring a pitcher?"

"Sure," Deon smiled easily, "I'll be right back."

He walked away and Willow picked up her menu, feeling her stomach silently growl in anticipation of food. She looked around the tables to see if any particular dish the other customers were having caught her eye, then noted with a pang of annoyance that was starting to turn into amusement; that Deon seemed to have pointed Tara out to the other waiters at the bar area, where the door that led into the kitchen was.

She continued to peruse the menu for a while; the smells that reached her every time the doors to the kitchen opened were making her stomach give that same growl. She finally settled on what she wanted and closed her menu. She leaned her head against her hand to watch Tara; the way her eyes were darting back and forth, how her lips pursed together for a second when she saw something she liked the sound of, how one finger was tapping silently against the table in her own little tune.

She got an entire two minutes in, uninterrupted, before Tara finally realised there were eyes on her and looked up. She let the menu fall to her plate and bit the skin around her thumb self-consciously.

"What?"

Willow just smiled.

"Nice atmosphere…good food…" she said, then spotted Deon and two other waiters all talking but with their eyes planted on their table again, and not on her, "Those waiters are totally checking you out…"

Tara looked completely bewildered a moment, then shook her head.

"Don't be silly."

"I'm not!" Willow protested, gesturing behind her, "They're not super interested in our bread basket!"

Tara looked over her shoulder and caught the three men looking for a split second before they all noticed and quickly moved off. She blushed at the implication that Willow might be right and looked back to her.

"Were they really looking at me?"

Willow just looked at her girlfriend adoringly.

"And you can't imagine what they see in you?"

Tara's cheeks flushed more but she didn't look away.

_You._

"I-I'm not used to that," she answered after a moment.

"Lucky for me!" Willow replied jovially, though not jokingly, "Don't know what I would've done if someone had snapped you up already."

Tara instantly shook her head.

"It wouldn't..." she trailed off shyly, her cheeks showing a red tint again, "There's no world that I wouldn't choose you."

Willow felt her heart swell and reached for Tara's hand across the table.

"I can't believe you love me," in said in awe, before tacking on nervously, "You still do, right?"

"I always did," Tara replied without a moment's hesitation.

Willow closed her eyes just for a moment.

"I-I thought I knew what happy felt like," she said, opening her eyes again, filled with love, "Before I met you. I thought I knew. I mean who doesn't know what basic feelings feel like at nineteen years old? But I had no idea…I had no idea just how happy I could be."

She squeezed Tara's hand and smiled.

"I don't care if it's been two months or two years. I know what I feel, now I do. And I love you," she said softly but emphatically, then blushed, but was still smiling, "I'll stop with the mushy now, I just wanted you to know."

Tara felt overwhelmed with emotion, completely touched. No one had spoken to her like that before, and her initial reaction was to have a hard time believing it, thinking it was some game to play on her emotions.

But she didn't think that when Willow spoke, couldn't think that, because one look in her eyes told her she was hearing the truth.

"I don't know what to say."

Willow smiled bashfully and looked up through her eyelashes.

"I can think of three little words…"

Tara smiled softly.

"I love you."

Willow felt her heart instantly start to pound in her chest.

"I'll never, ever get tired of hearing that. I mean, I know that's only like, three times, but I know, I just know…"

She trailed off, unsure how to even begin to verbalise everything she was feeling, but a different set of three little words from Tara settled her thoughts.

"I know too."

They shared a look, that outwardly seemed affectionate and shy, but between them was intense and deep – what they meant to each other, what they'd always mean to each other. They were special. They were _real_.

After a few moments Willow blinked and broke the gaze, though kept her hand over Tara's and a smile stayed on her face.

"So anything catching your eye?"

Tara looked at the menu again and shrugged one shoulder.

"The salads look nice."

"Tara, you can't get a salad!" Willow objected, "You'll make me look like a fat pig when I get an appetizer and a main…and probably a desert too!"

Tara looked embarrassed and Willow internally kicked herself for making her girlfriend feel bad over something when she knew there were issues present.

"Hey, I know," she said softly, searching for her eyes, "Not trying to make you feel uncomfortable. But just…check out the 'classic pastas' page. All of those look like they're the same price as the salads, and probably a lot more tasty."

Tara's eyes went to the right section on the menu, and Willow decided to say what she wanted to say one last time before letting her girlfriend make up her own mind.

"And if I can convince you at all, please, please, please get whatever you want. And that's all I'm gonna say."

Tara knew Willow was genuine but still didn't want to exploit her generosity…though comparing the two sides of the menu, she could see her girlfriend's logic in the pricing.

"The baked ziti does look nice."

Willow instantly perked up.

"Yeah, it does. I was going to get the rigatoni…and some mozzarella sticks for the table?"

Tara looked up with a fond smile.

"I loved mozzarella sticks when I was a kid. My mom would take me to Buffalo shopping twice a year and we'd go to this little restaurant place and I'd have a milkshake and if I said I was hungry she'd get me mozzarella sticks."

"That sounds so nice," Willow replied, enjoying how they were settling into conversation, "A real treat, huh?"

Tara nodded.

"Yeah, my memories are a little…clipped…but I remember having fun."

"Well I'm all for fun!" Willow replied, trying not to think of just how much was taken from Tara's childhood, "So you're going for the baked ziti? I mean, take your time, but my belly's starting to get cranky at me for not feeding it."

Tara confirmed her dish and Willow beckoned Deon back over to take their order, trying not to laugh this time as he went out of his way to make sure Tara was attended to.

"Tara's got a boyfriend," Willow said in a sing-song voice when he left again, "Tara and Deon, sitting in a tree…K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Tara blushed bright red and looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"Willow, stop."

"He lurvvss you, Tara," Willow giggled, "Can I get you more bread? Can I fill up your water glass? Do you want me to kneel down and be a human foot rest for you?"

Tara shook her head to herself, but had to admit it was a little funny how the man was acting around her, if uncomfortable.

"He is very accommodating," she said politely, before giving a nonchalant shrug, "And has a very nice smile."

That shut Willow right up and her mouth opened to let out a verbal tirade, but it shut again and she had to smile as she recognised the playful glint in Tara's eyes.

_Love that. She's messing with me. We're on a date and we're in love and messing around and do you remember that love part, brain? Love, love, love. I love her, she loves me. You're welcome for all these endorphins by the way._

"Am I going to have to fight to keep you?" she asked, her tongue momentarily poking out between her teeth, 'Cause I'm not large with the butch."

Tara's lips quirked up on one side.

"And I'm not very good with the…" she started to throw her fists out, which Willow looked at with confused amusement.

"Swimming?"

Tara dropped her hands.

"Violence," she answered sheepishly.

Willow gave Tara's hand a squeeze.

"So we'll agree to no fighting? That comes with an unbreakable you-staying-my-girl clause."

Tara nodded, the same smile on her face.

"Agreed."

"Signed, sealed and delivered," Willow replied softly.

They shared another glance that could only be described an intimate, then settled into easy conversation and joking around as their food arrived and they tucked in.

"Definitely better than lasagne that's been sitting in the cafeteria all afternoon!" Willow said happily as she pushed her empty plate away from her, "Your ziti tasted great too, did you enjoy it?"

Tara nodded, a happy smile on her face.

"It was really delicious."

"Do you want desert?" Willow asked, before perking up with an idea, "Or they have a gelato bar by the door, we could get some and stroll back."

Tara smiled a little more.

"A real gelato bar? Not the soft serve ice-cream station they have in the cafeteria?"

Willow grinned and gestured for Deon to bring them the check. She got her wallet out, having kept a tally of the costs of what they'd had and calculated the tip already so she could quickly pay without causing Tara any more unease.

Deon, however, had a different idea as he brought it over, turning his back to Willow and handing it straight to Tara. Tara looked like she might die of embarrassment as she handed it back across the table and Willow had to restrain herself from kicking the waiter from under the table.

She opened the book containing the receipt, intending to shove the money inside and then right back in Deon's face, but a scrawl of pen at the bottom caught her eye first. A closer glance revealed it to be a phone number and she looked up to see Deon shuffling awkwardly.

"I think he wanted you to have this…" she said, ripping the end of the receipt off and handing it over to Tara.

He'd embarrassed her girlfriend and now she was going to embarrass him.

Unfortunately she didn't think of what an awkward position she was putting Tara in by doing so until she saw her sinking down in her seat and blushing bright red.

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Shit!_

Tara, ever the polite and courteous person, forced herself to look up to meet Deon's eyes.

"I-I'm very flattered, but I'm sorry…"

Deon nodded, trying not to appear awkward.

"Got a boyfriend?"

Tara smiled shyly in Willow's direction.

"Got a girlfriend."

Deon's eyes went wide as understanding finally dawned.

"Oh, hey," he said, lifting his hands in apology, "I'm so sorry. Meant no harm, I swear. I didn't realise, girls all hold hands these days, or I wouldn't have…I'm not one of those guys who think…my dads' rescued me from foster care…I'm very sorry."

Willow watched the young man's eyes crease in deep conflict at having possibly offended them and felt bad for her intentional attack when his had been inadvertent. She offered him a smile of reprieve and handed the check back.

"Thanks for the great service. Really."

Deon seemed visibly relieved.

"No problem," he answered, smiling again, at both of them this time, then slipped the five dollar bill back onto the table, "And, uh, your mozzarella sticks are on me. Have a great evening."

He offered them both a kind smile before leaving again. There was an awkward lull for a moment before Willow made a tentative reach for her girlfriend's hand.

"Tara, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you, or him. I was being petty and I'm really sorry."

Tara gave a small smile and nodded, not one to hold a grudge and put a damper on what had been a great day and evening.

"It's okay."

Willow would normally feel the need to continue to profusely apologise, to get repeated reassurance that there wasn't some resentment lingering, but from Tara, those two words were all she needed.

_It's okay._

And it was.

"Still want that ice-cream?" she asked, sliding the returned five dollar bill into her hand, "It's practically free!"

They made their way over to where the ice-cream bar was set up and got a small cone each; Willow, rum raisin and Tara, butter pecan.

They started to stroll back towards campus, the hands not holding their ice-creams gently clasped and swinging between them.

"I had such a good evening," Willow said happily as she licked an errant drop from the side of her cone, "Hey, I even forgot I have an exam in the morning! It's not every day Willow Rosenberg forgets an exam!"

"Do you need to go to the library to study tonight?" Tara asked, trying not to show her disappointment.

Willow considered it for a moment, but promptly shook her head.

"You know what? I know my stuff. My exam isn't until eleven, I can spend a couple of hours after breakfast reading over everything again. I just want to relax tonight."

Tara grinned.

"Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?"

"Oh no, the question is what have _you_done with me," Willow replied with a giggle, before adding on softly, "And the answer is made me happy."

Tara kept a tighter hold on Willow's hand.

"You make me happy too. So happy."

Willow leaned over and planted a kiss on Tara's cheek, then took another lick of her cone.

"I gotta admit though, this ice-cream is running a close second. It's soooo good."

Tara nodded in agreement and offered Willow a taste of hers.

They took the long route home, wandering around the campus as they finished their ice-creams and enjoyed the stars, until finally arriving back at Tara's dorm room, where Willow promptly brought her in for a tight, warm hug.

"Love you," she said happily, just wanting to get it out.

Tara felt her heart flutter as she closed the embrace.

"I love you, too."

Willow continued to cling to Tara for a moment, before bouncing over to the bed where she'd left the television before they left.

"Wanna watch something on your brand-new, two-year-old TV? We could get into jammies and snuggle."

Tara couldn't think of a more perfect way to end their evening.

"That sounds great."

"Great!" Willow replied excitedly, "Where do you want it? If I put it on the corner of your desk we could see if from the bed."

Tara nodded.

"Good idea."

She walked over to her dresser to change into nightclothes while Willow busied herself with the TV-setup.

"Would you throw out my pjs with the baby chicks on them?" she asked as she got all the cables plugged in, "They're nice and light. It's getting so hot out!"

Tara made a sound of agreement as she rooted and found the pyjamas Willow had asked for, then got one of the standard tank tops she slept in herself and bypassed her sweats in favour of a cooler pair of shorts.

She left Willow's clothes on the bed and took hers into the bathroom to change and brush her teeth.

Willow pressed the large circular button on the TV to turn it on, and saw the red indicator light come on, but the screen remain blank. She walked back over to the bed to find the remote but saw her pyjamas first and started to change into them.

She settled her top over herself just as she heard the bathroom door open again, and looked around to smile, but instead found her gaze instantly dropping when presented with the attire Tara was wearing – showing much more than the below-the-knee skin Willow had been privy to before.

_Hel-lo Tara-thighs._

"-working?"

Her head snapped up as she registered works being spoken in her direction.

"Huh?"

"Is it working?" Tara repeated, walking over and around the bed to slip in under the covers.

_My libido? Definitely! Oh crap, she means the TV!_

"Yep!" Willow squeaked, fumbling for the remote and quickly clicking the button to turn it on, "Moving pictures, right in front of you!"

Tara looked at Willow curiously, then just smiled.

"Getting in?"

"Uh huh!" Willow nodded, "Just gotta do my teeth!"

_And dunk my head in cold water!_

She scurried off to do both while Tara settled herself in bed and reached over to set the alarm clock for the morning. As she was doing so, a glint of something caught her eye from inside the opened drawer of her nightstand. Her eyes widened as she plucked the shiny key, hanging from the heart-shaped keychain, from where she'd dropped it in during the week.

_I forgot._

Willow came out just a few moments later, her cheeks flushed from the furious splashing and drying.

Tara scooted a little further over as Willow climbed in.

"I have something for you," she said, shyly handing it to her, "You said I should keep my door locked, and I wanted you to be able to get in whenever you wanted."

Willow looked completely surprised as she took the key.

"We're not supposed to duplicate these."

Tara gave a little smile.

"It's a sneaky key."

Willow just nodded, then smiled, more concerned with whether Tara wanted her to have the key than whether the college did.

"You really want me to have this?"

Tara nodded too.

"Definitely."

Willow turned the key in her hand in wonder, then threw her arms over Tara's neck.

"I promise I won't invade your space."

"I want you to invade my space," Tara answered, settling her head against Willow's shoulder, "I want my space to be filled with Willow."

Willow thought she might cry from happiness and actually felt a tear prick in the corner of her eye but quickly blinked it away, not wanting to give Tara the wrong idea.

She squeezed her girlfriend and pecked her lips, then left her key carefully down on the nightstand near her.

"Love the keychain. Thank you," she said as she turned back and took one of Tara's hands, "Just thank you. I love you."

Tara nodded in a silent returning of the sentiment and Willow couldn't resist another kiss to her full lips before settling down to spoon her, as she had grown accustomed to.

"What do you want to watch?"

Tara smiled as she felt an arm settle over her waist, but her breath caught when she felt Willow's fingers brush over her thigh.

She still felt quite shy about her body, but it was getting harder and harder to deny the feelings evoked when Willow touched her. Truth be told, she'd given up on denying them weeks ago, but wasn't sure Willow wanted more yet…

_She's definitely rubbing my thigh…and that's definitely a kiss on my ear…and she's kind of…grinding?…does she want to...maybe her birthday…if she wanted…_

"I-I don't mind," she eventually answered, hoping her cheeks hadn't turned too red.

Willow made her hand rest, but kept it on Tara's thigh, unable to resist the warmth of her skin.

"Well, um, I'm sure I could find one of those cop shows you like. Or it's Sunday night, there's bound to be a whole load of movies on."

"A movie sounds nice," Tara answered, trying to keep a squeak from her voice.

"Okay, um…" Willow replied as she started to flick though channels, "Terminator… Sophie's Choice… Sleepless in Seattle…"

"I like that one," Tara nodded, resting her hands under her head so she could enjoy the movie, "I watched it with my mom once."

"And it's just starting!" Willow responded with a smile and turned the volume up before leaving the remote down.

Tara watched the opening credits play out on the screen and sighed contentedly at how perfect a situation she wouldn't have even envisioned three months ago could be.

"I could get used to this."

Willow cuddled in closer and left a kiss in the crook of Tara's neck.

"I already am."

* * *

Tara held her fist up to the door and hesitated a moment, before finally knocking on the door. It swung open a moment later and Becky smiled at her as she worked at fixing the back of her earring in.

"Hi, Tara!"

"Hi," Tara waved shyly back, "Um, I'm not disturbing anything, am I?"

Becky's lips quirked into a grin.

"Willow warned ya, huh? Paul left for the breakfast shift in the cafeteria an hour ago."

Tara's cheeks flushed and she nodded.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she said, before clarifying, "For the television. It was really kind. And if you ever want it back, that's no problem."

"I won't, but thanks," Becky replied, stepping aside to let Tara in, "Did you give it a go yet?"

Tara nodded gleefully.

"Willow and I watched Sleepless in Seattle last night."

"All snuggled up in bed?" Becky asked teasingly, though not with derision, making Tara blush, "Oh, hey, while you're here! I have to tell you about Willow's birthday party."

Tara blinked in confusion.

"Birthday party?"

"Uh huh," Becky nodded, standing in front of her mirror and applying eyeliner, "Her birthday's next week."

"I know," Tara responded quickly, not wanting Willow's friend to think she forgot such an event, "She just didn't say anything about a party."

"That's because it's a surprise!" Becky replied excitedly, "I'm gonna ask her to have a celebratory drink – non-alcoholic if that's what she wants – in the bar and then surprise her! I have it all set up, a bunch of her…okay, my friends, are coming and there's a great band playing that night."

Tara thought that seemed more like a night Becky would enjoy than Willow, but wasn't about to say that.

"That's really nice of you."

"So you'll be there?" Becky asked, surprising Tara, "I'll let you know the times and stuff later."

"Okay," Tara agreed, not wanting to sound rude.

"Great!" Becky replied, walking over to her desk to gather some things, "Oh and not a word to Willow."

Tara nodded diligently.

"Right."

Becky picked up a black pen to go with the bundle of papers in her arms.

"I better be getting to literature class," she said, her tone indicating she'd rather be going anywhere but, "Hey, I heard you guys used the 'L' word…and I don't mean lesbian!"

Tara blushed once again, which made Becky laugh.

"You're so cute," she said before adding a rueful shake of her head, "I wish I could fall so hopelessly for someone that I knew I loved them after just a couple of months."

Tara knew Becky had a boyfriend, or so she thought by the way Willow had described him, so could only assume something was up there but had no idea what to say, or whether she should even say anything. Thankfully Becky didn't dwell for too long as she headed towards the door.

"Until then, I continue my love affair with Oscar Wilde and remember that illusion is the first of all pleasures," she said dramatically, then with a good-natured laugh, "Have a good day."

Tara nodded and offered a wave as she left through the door.

"You too. Thanks again."

Becky waved too and turned to leave in the opposite direction, while Tara made her way back to her dorm, where Willow was tying her shoelaces.

"You get her?" she asked while contemplating whether to go with a straight-lace or try something more adventurous.

Tara nodded, but was playing with her hands nervously.

"Hey, I think something might be up with her um, boyfriend. She seemed kind of um… sad when she mentioned us and the love thing."

Willow looked up in concern.

"Sad?"

Tara thought for a moment.

"Well, not sad, actually…more…pensive."

Willow looked relieved and smiled.

"That's just Becky. She thinks love is a great thing in theory but doesn't feel the need to subscribe to it in all her relationships," she replied, giving a small grin, "That's a direct quote."

She went back to her sneakers and started threading the laces, but sensed Tara was still worried.

"Hey, I'll talk to her and make sure she's all okay, but she's talked to me about him before, so I do know a little, I don't think they're an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend kinda deal," she said in reassurance, before sticking out her sneaker with a giggle, "Check it out! It's like a checkers board!"

Tara looked at the lace design and nodded, impressed.

"That's very cool."

"Don't worry, experimenting with my shoelaces is about as wild as I'm going to get," Willow replied with a wry grin, "Wanna go grab some breakfast?"

Tara nodded again and found Willow's hand in hers just a moment later as they left the room and headed towards the cafeteria.

"So your birthday is next week," Tara ventured after a moment, trying to remain casual.

Willow grinned.

"Yeah, you won't be dating a teen anymore, you ole' cradle robber."

"What do you want?" Tara asked, blushing at her inability to stay nonchalant, "I mean, from me."

Willow just smiled.

"You don't have to get me anything. You're everything I want."

Tara's cheeks flushed again.

"But it's your birthday. I want to get you something."

Willow opened her mouth to protest again, then shut it as a shy look came upon her face.

"There's one thing I'd like. And you can totally say no."

Tara felt her breath catch in her throat, unsure what Willow was going to ask…and whether it would match the plans she already had.

"Will you sing for me?" Willow asked, her voice holding a tone of childlike hope.

Tara looked completely taken aback.

"S-sing for you?" she asked in total surprise.

Willow looked down bashfully.

"I hear you in the shower, and sometimes when we're studying you hum and sing a few notes…I really love how you sound. And I'd love to hear a whole song. But only if you're really, really okay with it."

Tara felt a wall of shyness start to creep up, but couldn't resist the adorable look on Willow's face and quickly pushed it down.

"Okay," she said softly, "I'll sing for you."

Willow looked like she might jump out of her skin with excitement.

"Really? I can't wait! Thank you, thank you!"

She threw her arms over Tara's neck, not caring at the stares they were getting from the other students passing in the quad. Tara closed the embrace without question and placed a soft kiss on the top of Willow's ear.

It seemed she'd be pushing a lot of her boundaries come Willow's birthday…and she was pleased to find she felt a lot more excited than scared.


	17. Chapter 17

**Missocki** – Ah yes, the clueless waiter is always an amusing thing to watch, although it can become cringey very quick. I also love that scene 3. Picking this song was so difficult. There's so many songs I imagine Tara singing to Willow, but there were factors in Tara's choice, ie, she's shy so it would be short, not a 'big' song she has to project to the room etc…but I think this works. I hope so anyway. I also love songs within fics (not explicit song-fics so much when there's not much written but the song, but when they're played out well within a fic I think it's great) Glad you're looking forward to this chapter…but don't hate me… ;)

**StephenPG** – Crazy ladies, who doesn't love a bit of Arnie? Oh wait… ;)

**Queenphoenix08** – I think at the end of the day he was a nice guy, just totally oblivious. But yeah, definitely needs a smack around the head with the open-your-eyes hammer!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I didn't think he was much of an interruption either, but I've had some people complain so I tend to overcompensate with warnings a lot :P

You know, I've never featured Miss Kitty, except in little snippets. I don't know why…this future is already set so I can't really bring her in now. It's funny though, I've stolen almost every scene of theirs and moulded into my fics but not her…weird.

Yes! Really all the characters were so awesome. Even the baby!

* * *

Willow was jolted awake by something loud and unforgiving.

She dug her head into the pillow to try and drown out the incessant ringing of the alarm clock.

" –ara, 'urn ifoff," she groaned, roughly translating to 'Tara turn it off'.

When the beeping just continued and, in Willow's estimation, appeared to be getting louder; she reached out blindly and made contact with the device. She aimlessly hit it until it stopped the racket, having no idea where the actual 'off' button was.

"Why can't you just use your freakin' cell phone like everyone else?" she snapped in tired annoyance, her eyes instantly snapping open with regret when she remembered Tara had neither a cell phone nor appreciation of morning grumpiness.

To her initial relief, then sorrow, the other side of the bed was completely empty.

"Tara?" she called out, looking around the room repeatedly as if her girlfriend might magically appear.

No such feat happened, but she did spot a piece of notebook paper propped up against the lamp on her side of the bed and reached for it.

**_Had to go. See you later._**  
**_Love you._**  
**_T xx_**

"Love you, too," she said to the air, a little annoyed.

_Go where? And no 'Happy Birthday'? Did she forget?_

She clung to the 'love you' and tried to let it ease the hurt at having to wake up alone as she dragged herself out of bed to get ready for the day, with a lot less gusto than she normally had.

_All alone and no smoochies make Willow a dull girl._

She gloomily left the room, her gaze firmly fixed downward on her shoes and the shoelaces she had left in their checkered set-up from the week before.

_Probably thought I was such a dork. Oh hey, Tara, look at the dorky things I do with my shoelaces. Can't just tie 'em like a normal person, have to get all Rosen-nerd on it._

"Hey, Willow!"

She looked up at the sound of her name being called, the briefest glimpse of hope in her eye until her brain registered Becky bounding towards her.

"Hey," she said without much enthusiasm.

"Happy Birthday!" Becky greeted with a quick embrace.

"Thanks," Willow replied in the same flat tone.

_Least someone remembered._

"So come to the bar tonight!" Becky replied, too hyped up with having her plans go right to notice Willow had the demeanour of a deflated balloon, "We have to celebrate you turning twenty!"

Willow shuffled awkwardly.

"I dunno, Beck, it's not really–"

"Come on, it's your birthday!" Becky cut her off, doing her best pleading voice.

Willow sighed.

_Well it's not like my supposedly adoring girlfriend is bombarding me with plans._

"Yeah, okay. I probably won't stay long though."

Becky clapped her hands as if her invitation had been accepted with open arms.

"See you there! Seven-ish?"

"I have Chem-lab 'til th–" Willow tried to reply, but Becky was already gone with another quick 'Happy Birthday' over her shoulder.

Willow sighed, figuring this just wasn't her morning and continued on her way.

She perked up a little in class when she got involved in a spirited debate about natural selection and whether it shapes the development of the human mind. Calling out intelligence- and/or reason-light arguments always gave her enough self-satisfaction to put a smile on her face.

She was cheerier as she approached the cafeteria towards the late afternoon, her stomach rumbling for more than the mocha and muffin she'd scoffed down that morning, and felt her heart flutter in delight as she spotted a certain someone at the back of the line.

"Tara!" she called out, excitedly bouncing over.

Tara looked around, her eyes going wide as she saw Willow coming towards her.

"W-Willow," she started nervously, "Don't you have Chem Lab now?"

"In twenty minutes, I just wanted to grab a bite first," Willow answered, feeling warmed as she finally got to give Tara a kiss, even if it was just a quick peck, "You snuck away on me this morning, I didn't get my morning cuddles."

Tara blushed as a guy that had appeared behind them shot them an odd luck, but had more pressing issues to deal with. Like to run, flee and skedaddle.

"Sorry," she answered quickly, grabbing the apple from her tray and abandoning the rest, "You know, I'm late for my Soc-Pol class. I gotta go, bye."

She scarpered without another word, leaving Willow looking after her with confusion.

_She wasn't late. She doesn't have Soc-Pol on a Thursday. That's her Monday and Wednesday class._

Her brow creased as she took in that Tara had lied to her, but had to keep moving as the line behind her started to grow. She absently grabbed a plate of tacos and tossed a couple of pudding cups onto her tray before wandering down to a table, alone.

_She's doesn't want to see me. She's avoiding me. Still no 'Happy Birthday'. What did I do?_

She racked her brains to try and think of anything that would indicate why her girlfriend was so jumpy and evading her, but came up blank.

_We watched that show she likes last night, and shared an orange. And then made out for an hour! More than an hour! She was all over me, all squeeze-y through my shirt and doing that tickly thing on my back!_

She sighed, hating not knowing what was going on and started to shove her food into her mouth, just wanting to get it into her so she could sulk off to class.

Chem Lab held none of its normal appeal and she did little but mope throughout the entire thing.

"You alright, Willow?" her lab partner, Kevin, asked as they were cleaning up at the end of their session, "You didn't even crack a smile when we dropped the water into the Al+I2 and got that cool purple gas."

"Girl troubles," Willow replied dejectedly, shining a test tube to crystal clarity, because at least she could do that right.

Kevin nodded in understanding as he gathered his books together.

"Well I hope you work it out."

Willow just nodded and offered a weak wave of goodbye.

_Yeah, me too. 'Cause right now she's acting like she wants to break up with me._

She sighed deeply for a moment, then froze as a sudden realisation hit her, almost causing her to drop the test tube in shock.

_And doesn't want to do it on my birthday._

She left the glassware down in the basket with the rest and stumbled to sit on a nearby stool.

_She's breaking up with me. She's breaking up with me again. Is that why she's avoiding me? That must be it. What did I do? Doesn't she love me? She said 'love you'…She said 'love you'! …on paper…didn't say it when she rushed off, Ms. Lie-y McLie._

The idea cemented itself in her mind as soon as it entered, not thinking of the numerous indicators that Tara wanted to do anything but, and only the few questionable things. Rational thought flew out the window when it came to Tara, good and bad.

She quickly finished her clean-up, feeling as if the room was closing in on her and began to walk quickly across campus, wanting to just curl up and cry.

Halfway back to her building, she remembered her plans to meet Becky and for a brief moment actually felt like dropping to the ground and throwing a tantrum. After deciding that probably wasn't appropriate behaviour for someone who was now twenty years old, she fetched her cell phone from her pocket and dialled her friend's number.

"Becky, answer your phone," she whined quietly, only for it to ring out, "Damn it."

Not wanting to be being rude and just not show up, she decided to make a detour to the bar to tell Becky she wouldn't be staying at all. She shoved her hands in her pockets and quickly skirted the few blocks to the 'regular' student bar she, or rather Becky, attended.

She could hear the music playing loudly already as she turned the corner onto the right street and hoped she'd be able to find Becky without too much trouble if there was a band playing – that normally attracted a crowd.

She pushed her way through the people out front, trying to swig from their beers without taking their cigarettes from their mouths, and spotted her roommate talking to a bunch of people just ahead.

She walked up and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey, Beck–"

Becky instantly spun around and almost dropped her drink, stumbling on the spot.

"Surprise!" she suddenly yelled, followed by some half-hearted repetitions from the cluster of other people around the area, most of whom Willow didn't even recognise.

"Huh?"

"Surprise!" Becky repeated, with just as much enthusiasm, "Are you surprised?"

Willow blinked in confusion and it took her a second to piece together that this gathering was somehow related to her birthday.

"Um, yeah," she replied, wondering if she could leave now.

She didn't ponder it long, however, as she suddenly spotted a familiar head sitting in the booth just ahead, nervously playing with her hands, with a balloon bobbing above her head saying 'Happy Birthday'.

She ran straight over, but stopped short of sitting.

"Tara."

Tara jumped up as soon as Willow approached and offered her a wide smile and warm embrace.

"Happy Birthday, sweetie," she said affectionately, loud enough to be heard over the music, "Finally get to say it."

Willow thought she must be imagining the extra squeeze she felt and the kiss against her cheek – she must be, right?

"You're here?" she ventured, trying to keep the shake out of her voice.

"I missed you today," Tara replied shyly, taking both her hands, "I was so worried I'd spill the beans if I saw you. Just doesn't feel right keeping things from you and Becky was so excited about throwing you a surprise party. Lucky she only told me the proper details this morning or I might have ruined it."

_Surprise party. Right. I knew that. But wait…that means…she's saying…_

"That's why…that's why you've been avoid-y girl?" she asked, almost falling to the floor in relief, "I thought you were breaking up with me again."

Tara's brow creased.

"Again?"

Willow shifted awkwardly.

"You know, with the um, Dad stuff."

Tara reached up to brush some hair from Willow's face tenderly.

"I never broke up with you," she said softly, "You need to stop jumping to that conclusion."

Willow turned her head into Tara's touch, then dropped against her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her waist. Tara smiled, despite noticing some peculiar looks from the people surrounding them.

"I'm sorry I worried you."

"No, I'm sorry, I'm a dummy," Willow replied, pulling away an inch and taking Tara's hands again, "I clearly need a whole bunch of sense slapped into me. I'm serious, you should be spanking me."

Tara had to make a concentrated effort to keep a straight face.

"Uh huh," she said with a slow nod, wondering if her cheeks looked as flushed as they felt.

Willow was smiling still, not thinking too intensely about what she'd said, and Tara was saved from further embarrassment as Becky suddenly skipped over.

"Hey, I know you're all lovey and dovey, but I planned a whole surprise party for you here!"

Willow turned to her friend and offered a hug.

"Thanks, you're really awesome!" she said, before casting an eye around at the selection of people at 'her' party, "Do, I, um, know any of these people?"

"Okay, so maybe I did it a little for me too," Becky replied with a playful grin, "Just have a good night, okay?"

"I will!" Willow answered, turning back to take Tara's hands again, "Do you wanna dance?"

"Okay," Tara replied shyly.

Willow swung her hands between them as they moved closer to the band, playing some soft rock.

"I have to warn you, I look like one of those inflatable men they use at car dealerships when I dance."

"I always liked those," Tara replied kindly, making Willow smile, "They looked like they were having lots of fun."

They joined both hands as they started to dance, just moving and bouncing around in place until they were sweaty and giggling.

"They're really good!" Willow half-shouted into Tara's ear as they waded their way back through the crowd to sit in a booth.

"They're really nice too," Tara replied, before explaining when Willow looked confused, "I was talking to them when they were setting up."

Willow grinned as Tara slid into the seats.

"Talking to the band huh? Are you turning into a groupie?" she teased, then kissed the flushing cheeks that resulted, "I'll go get us some drinks. Sprite?"

Tara nodded and Willow skipped off to get some drinks. She returned with a glass of Sprite for Tara and a Diet Coke for herself and slid in beside Tara, feeling giddy from dancing still.

They had moved far enough back from where the band was set-up that they could chat comfortably while still enjoying the music and spent the next while doing just that, their bodies inching closer and closer together as time passed.

"Say cheese, lovebirds!" Becky's voice suddenly broke through as she approached them with a camera.

Willow turned and leaned back against Tara, then felt hands rest over her stomach and a chin lean on her shoulder. She was about to crack a very cheesy but very real smile, but found herself giggling instead when Tara squeezed her stomach, tickling her.

She heard an answering laugh in her ear, then the click of the camera and for once didn't care how she looked in the shot – she knew a happier photograph of herself didn't exist.

"I love you," she said to Tara as she turned back to kiss her cheek.

Tara blushed but smiled, then started to slip past Willow.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom."

"Want me to come with you?" Willow asked, trying to be helpful.

"I think I've got it down," Tara replied with smile, before scooting out of the booth.

Willow watched her leave, to make sure she got to the bathroom safe, of course, but couldn't help but notice the sway in her girlfriend's step.

_Mmhh, I'm owed a birthday snuggle for this morning…maybe I can snag one of my sneaky thigh grazes…I was practically touching panty last night!_

"–ool?"

Willow blinked up at Becky when she heard her voice break through the Tara-haze.

"Huh?"

"I said I wonder if I can get the camera close enough to capture the drool," Becky replied, shoving the camera right up close to Willow's face.

Willow flushed with embarrassment and batted the camera away.

"We'll probably head back soon," she tried to say casually, eager to get what she was 'owed'.

Becky nodded and sat in the booth opposite Willow.

"I'm heading into the city with…" she pointed at a muscular blonde guy standing at the bar, "That hunka-hunka burning love."

Willow raised an eyebrow.

"Is Paul okay with that?"

"I don't really care," Becky shrugged, before adding as if an afterthought, "We broke up."

"Becky, I'm sorry," Willow replied sympathetically, "Are you okay?"

Becky nodded and gave a slightly sad, but accepting smile.

"This isn't Tim, don't worry," she replied, referring to a messy break-up freshman year for a guy she really had fallen for, "Actually I think he's sulking more than me!"

"Do you need to talk?" Willow offered, "I'm sure Tara won't mind if you need some best friend time."

Becky shook her head, a happier bounce back in her demeanour.

"Nope, I need to have fun and I need you to have fun!"

Willow felt the smile quirk onto her lips and cover her face.

"I am. Lots."

"Makes two of us," Becky grinned, then left the seat and gave Willow a quick hug, "Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you!" Willow called after her.

She idly sipped her drink as she waited for Tara to return, and started to get concerned when she was left waiting.

_Did she fall into the toilet?_

She kept her eyes fixed on the doors to the bathroom as a flutter of nerves started in her belly, wondering if Tara had slipped out on her.

_No. Stop it. What did she tell you? Trust her for god's sake._

She tried to relax and just listen to the music, tapping her fingers against the table in time to the beat, until the song ended and the lead singer's voice boomed through the microphone.

"We got a special request here tonight and since we don't think music would exist if it weren't for matters of the heart, how could we say no? Happy Birthday, Willow!"

Willow's eyes shot over to the platform stage and she saw the lead singer move back and take a bass against him, strumming the strings lightly, as someone else took the position at the microphone.

Her eyes almost fell out of her head when she saw the spotlight shine on Tara, her hand covering her eyes to shield it a moment before shyly stepping forwards so she was right at the microphone.

Willow just about registered the guitar and drums picking up the tune but her focus was primarily on Tara, who had sought her out in the crowd, hands tight around the microphone stand in nerves, but not a hint of which came out as she started to sing.

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.  
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.  
I guess you'd say…  
What can make me feel this way?  
My girl…_

The three boys that made up the band offered perfect backing vocals and Willow could see the bright blush on Tara's face, but there wasn't a moment of hesitation as she sang.

_I've got so much honey the bees envy me.  
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.  
I guess you'd say…  
What can make me feel this way?  
My girl…  
Talkin' 'bout my girl…_

Willow felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she took in what Tara was doing for her and wanted to just run up and throw her arms around her, but was struck immoveable in awe.

_I don't need no money, fortune, or fame.  
I've got all the riches baby, one woman can claim.  
I guess you'd say…  
What can make me feel this way?  
My girl…  
Talkin' 'bout my girl…_

She was on the edge of her seat, smile beaming from ear to ear, and giggled when she heard Tara purposely change 'man' to 'woman'. She felt like her heart might burst from her chest as the song finished up and Tara offered her, her special smile before slipping away to the edge of the stage.

"Round of applause for young love, ladies and gentlemen," the lead said as he took the microphone again.

Willow absently heard some people clap but her eyes were searching for Tara in the crowd. She jumped up, ready to wade her way through the crowd but saw her girlfriend appear right as she did so, the strobe lights hitting her in such a way that Willow could have easily mistaken her for an angel.

She felt her breath catch in her throat but didn't waste a moment in rushing to her, arms swung tightly around her.

"Tara, Tara. You sang to me."

"You asked me to," Tara replied bashfully, squeezing her back.

Willow pulled her head away from Tara's chest, blinking up at her.

"I-I thought…you'd sing a bit louder in the shower, or maybe give me a few bars when we were cuddling, if I was lucky," she rambled for a moment before feeling tears prick at her eyes, "Thank you. That…that meant…thank you."

Tara blushed wildly for a moment that she'd embarrassed herself unnecessarily, but seeing how Willow responded made it much more than worth it. She brushed her thumbs beneath Willow's eyes.

"Don't cry, sweetie."

Willow turned her head in to kiss Tara's palm.

"I love you. Thank you. That was the best gift I've ever gotten."

Tara smiled and moved her hands up to cup Willow's ears, affectionately rubbing her thumbs over her eyebrows, then left a chaste but warm kiss on her lips.

"I love you, too."

Willow closed her eyes to savour those words, then reopened them and reached for Tara's hand.

"Do you want to grab a pizza and go back to your dorm?" she asked, before adding on, "I didn't get a chance to get any dinner…and I know a certain someone missed lunch…just so I could have a surprise on my birthday."

She felt Tara squeeze their hands together and with a quick goodbye to Becky, they left the rowdy bar and its patrons in their good spirits. They made a brief stop to pick up a pizza. Willow smiled at how reminiscent it was of their first date.

"Tara, I'm gonna be a total pig and just dig in," Willow said as Tara let them into her dorm, "I'm _starving_."

"Uh huh, sure," Tara replied, walking over to her mini-fridge as Willow jumped onto the bed and flipped the pizza lid, "I have apple juice and fruit punch. And you have a can of Fanta in here."

"'anta," Willow answered through a mouthful of gooey cheese, "'ee 'an 'are."

"Thanks," Tara smiled, understanding the offer to share.

She popped the tab and left the can on her nightstand, then opened the drawer and took out a rectangle of pink tissue paper, a thin red ribbon tied in a bow around it. She sat down next to Willow on the bed and shyly offered it.

Willow looked down at the gift and quickly swallowed the food in her mouth, almost choking in the process. She glugged down some of the soda to ease it down, wiping at her mouth self-consciously.

"Still haven't got that chewing thing down," she joked, then put her hand over Tara's, "You gave me my present, you sang. So beautifully and wonderfully and it'll be in my heart forever."

"It's just something tiny," Tara replied bashfully, "It didn't cost me anything."

Willow pulled the ribbon out of its knot and turned the paper over, folding it back. She picked up the necklace sitting inside by its black thread and held the hanging heart pendant in the palm of her hand, rolling the two blue and green beads that were affixed either side between her fingers.

"Tara, it's beautiful," she said softly, before looking up at her, "But you can't tell me it didn't cost anything."

Tara gave a single-shoulder shrug.

"I made it in the art rooms. They have lots of supplies just laying around."

Willow blinked in surprise.

"You made this? For me?" she asked in awe, getting a shy nod of confirmation, "Put it on me?"

She handed Tara the necklace and turned her back, bending her neck forward. She felt it fasten just under her hair and looked down to see it hanging down her chest in glee.

"I love it and I love you!" she gushed, spinning back around and planting her lips squarely on Tara's.

Tara felt herself get lightheaded for a moment as Willow quite literally took her breath away but it only took her a second to respond, moving to rest her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders.

She started to slowly slide her hands down Willow's arms and let them fall to her girlfriend's waist. Her fingers deftly slipped just underneath the hem of Willow's shirt to caress the skin of her lower back. She started to open her mouth to try and deepen the kiss, but her stomach decided that was an opportune moment to protest the lack of sustenance it had received that day with a low rumble.

She had to stifle a sound of protest when Willow pulled away, letting her hands fall to her sides meekly.

"I insist you have a slice," Willow said, offering Tara the box with a warm smile, "It's my birthday, what I say goes!"

Tara tried to calm her flushing cheeks and took a slice of the pizza Willow was so eager to offer. Willow grabbed another for herself and flopped down to lie on her side, picking up the remote and flicking through channels.

"Hey, 10 Things I Hate About you is on!" she said excitedly after a moment, "I love this movie."

Tara tore off the end of her slice of pizza, thinking it was a much meagre alternative to what her lips had been on before. She lay down beside Willow and shuffled in as close as she could.

"I haven't seen it."

Willow slurped another sip from her soda, delighted in her surroundings.

"It's like a modern day re-telling of The Taming of the Shrew, you know the Shakespeare play? But it's not Shakespeare-y at all, it's all 90's douchebags and cheerleaders and bad-guy-who-really-has-a-heart-of-gold," she explained, before adding on sheepishly, "It sounds dumb, but it's funny."

Tara nodded and tried to pay attention to the movie, but it only held her concentration for as long as it took her to finish her slice of pizza – not a reflection on its enjoyability, but Willow's neck was just a head turn away from her lips…and she had plans.

Willow instinctively tilted her neck when she felt Tara start to leave soft kisses there, providing the perfect accompaniment of tingles to satisfying taste of soda and pizza in her mouth and the laughs the movie was delivering.

"Hey, that's my next request," she giggled when Heath Ledger began prancing across the school on screen, the empty pizza box discarded on the floor, "Serenading me across the bleachers while being chased by campus security. But not that song because I already want you."

Tara thought her heart might pound right out of her chest as she brushed her lips over the hollow of Willow's throat and whispered against her skin.

"Do you?"

Willow giggled again, thinking Tara was joking around.

"Yeah," she replied through it, then cast a glance downward and realised how intense the gaze she was receiving back was.

Never had a simple look caused her to feel like her body was simultaneously parched and flooded; caused her mind to both become devoid of thought and race with them; thrilled her and scared her at the same time.

"Tara?" she barely managed to croak out, eyes full of question.

Tara reached up and tapped her fingertips against Willow's jaw, then silently picked up the remote and turned the television off. Never leaving Willow's gaze, she grasped her girlfriend's hand in hers and brought it up and under her shirt.

She tried not to let her chest heave as she left Willow's hand on her breast for a few long moments before removing her hand again. Willow tried to hide her disappointment, feeling like a child that had a lollipop waved in their face, then snatched away, but it only lasted a brief second as she watched Tara begin to unbutton her own shirt.

_Oh my god. Oh. My. God._

Tara felt her fingers trembling as she slipped each button free but managed to smoothly undo them all. The material hung over her shoulders for a moment as she sat up, but she shrugged it off once her back was free.

Willow wondered if she'd fallen asleep and was dreaming but quickly realised this was real – Tara's bra-encased breasts were more than she could ever have imagined, asleep or awake.

She felt her hand being guided once again and audibly gasped as she connected with the globular flesh.

"You're so beautiful…" she whispered, not daring to do more than brush her fingertips against Tara's skin.

Tara felt her belly flutter as Willow's hands grew more confident and took a soft squeeze. She turned her lips inwards to conceal a moan she felt rising from her throat when Willow's palm hit against her nipple, sticking out through her bra.

Willow looked down in awe as she felt the same thing and started to slowly circle her finger around the protuberance. After a minute of doing so, she was sure she heard a moan come from Tara's mouth, but not just any moan – soft and shy, but still unmistakably deep.

Before she had a chance to look up to confirm it had indeed been Tara who made such a sound, and that she was the one to cause it, she found herself shocked into stillness as her girlfriend's bra promptly fell to the bed between them.

Her hand remained poised in the air, just a millimetre from Tara's breast, but looked up before letting in connect. Tara was looking at her, shy but trusting. She felt her lean up and a soft kiss being left on her lips, the movement causing her hand to close the tiny gap.

As soon as it did, she heard that moan again, though it was more of a feeling this time as it vibrated against her lips. Her hands seemed to develop a life of their own then, squeezing and groping her girlfriend's breasts as Tara showed her appreciation with hungry kisses.

At some stage, they fell back onto the bed and Willow found herself on top of Tara, her tongue eagerly playing in her girlfriend's mouth while her hands teased the mounds of heaven she was quickly becoming familiar with.

She pulled back for a brief gasp of air but stopped short of retaking Tara's lips again when she noticed the way they were quirked up on one side, in a way that she could only describe as sultry.

She could feel the air rushing from her lungs and a warmth spread between her legs, more than she'd ever experienced before. She looked up a few inches and spent several moments lost in Tara's eyes until a movement made her gaze move downwards.

She caught sight of Tara's hand move down her body and watched as she started to undo the button of her pants.

It all seemed to be happening in slow motion for Willow; the button was popped, then the zipper was dragged down, revealing a hint of red lace panties underneath.

As soon as that glimpse registered in Willow's brain, the panic button switched firmly to 'on' and she jumped backwards from the bed as if she'd been struck by lightning.

"We ca-, we can't!"

Tara started to awkwardly cover herself with the sheet.

"Willow?" she asked, voice timid, "A-are you okay?"

Willow shook her head furiously.

"Can't, can't," she said, almost nonsensically, "Moment, caught up, and pressure, am I pressuring you? Can't, couldn't, couldn't bear it if you regretted it."

Tara looked relieved that's all it was, then offered a smile across the room.

"No, honey, I won't regret this, I want–"

Willow continued to shake her head, biting the skin around her thumb. As far as she was concerned this was the first Tara had expressed an interest in anything more than over-the-sweater action and she was terrified she was making a rash decision.

"No, you need time," she rambled on, not thinking to stop and listen to her girlfriend, since she was barely able to comprehend her own thoughts, "You think about it, 'kay? I'll come back. Tomorrow. So you think about it, and if you still want to, then we will, and if you don't, you don't and that's fine too, so I'll be back, okay?"

With that, and without waiting for a response, she turned towards the door and promptly ran out.


	18. Chapter 18

**Queenphoenix08** – Willow is getting there, slowly but surely! Hope you enjoy it!

**StephenPG** – I am bunkered down in anticipation for the flaming pitchforks! Broken and shower-needy, yes, but together soon, promise ;)

**GnomeGirly** – Permission granted! She was a bumbling nincompoop and a half! If it's any consolation, there's some jiggy to be gotten with soon!

**Eplus** – I know, I know…but hopefully it's worth it!

**WhatHurtsMeMost **– Ah, I'm sorry I'm giving you stress! Things had to begin somewhere...but I will keep writing, don't worry about that :)

**CurlyAkemy** – I know! I was screaming at her a little too…but! She comes back…and that's something.

**Missocki **– Poor Willow had a helluva day, no wonder she freaked out :P …rest of reply on the KB :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I took some cough syrup if that counts. I know I threw a bit of a curveball, but it gets better! Promise!

* * *

The hallway loomed in front of Willow, seeming longer and narrower than it ever had before.

_Of all the stupid things you've done, this is the stupidest. Stupid, dumb, THOUGHTLESS!_

She moved at a snail's pace, barely putting one foot in front of the other, as her eyes watched Tara's door number get closer and closer.

_She was taking her clothes off for you, SHE WAS TRUSTING YOU WITH SOMETHING HUGE and you RAN OUT ON HER. _

She paused for a moment, almost turning to run again, but made herself continue.

_You should have been on her doorstep first thing this morning, begging her forgiveness…no, you shouldn't have left in the first place! Woman up and get in there._

She stopped outside Tara's door but couldn't bring herself to move any further.

_Stupid Willow, has to go to class. That's just great, run out on Tara, then make it seem like school is more important than her. How many times am I going to let my stupid panic make Tara feel like shit? How much longer is she going to put up with it?_

She closed her eyes and sent a quick prayer to any deity that might be listening that she wouldn't come back out that door a single woman, then closed her hand over the knob with a slow exhale.

She actually smiled when it wouldn't twist open, thinking Tara really listened to her about keeping it locked, then fetched her key from her pocked and put it in the slot, hoping it was still okay to let herself in.

She wasn't sure what she expected to see when she entered the room, but it certainly wasn't what she walked into.

Tara was lighting the last of numerous candles scattered around, her hair tied up in a bun and her face lightly bronzed with some make-up. The room was neatly tidied up with the curtains pulled so only the candlelight lit up the room and Willow recognised freshly-made-up white sheets on the bed.

"Hi," she ventured, taking a tentative step forward as she closed the door again.

Tara held the flame of the lighter over the wick of the candle and smiled shyly over her shoulder.

"I wasn't expecting you for another fifteen minutes."

"My last class let out early…" Willow explained absently as she took in the soft glow of the room, then looked back to Tara, "Expecting me?"

Tara set the lighter down on her nightstand and turned to face Willow.

"Well, I hoped you'd come by when your classes ended. I know you hate having to catch up on notes. I got the long-last candles, just in case."

"Extra flamey, huh?" Willow asked in a weak, joking tone, before audibly swallowing, "You seem decidedly…not mad."

Tara crossed the few feet between them and brushed the back of her fingers against Willow's cheek.

"I'm not mad."

Willow leaned into Tara's hand and gave a little nuzzle, but looked ashamed.

"You should be mad. You should be furious," she replied with a panicked intake of breath before suddenly grabbing Tara's hands, "I wasn't rejecting you, I swear, god, I _swear_, I wanted to, I wanted you so bad. Please don't think I was rejecting you."

"I know, I know, it's okay," Tara replied in a soothing tone, "At first… I was a little stung."

Willow dropped her gaze, chastened, but looked back up when Tara gave her hands a squeeze.

"But then I thought about what you said…or what I could decipher anyway," she continued with a tiny crooked smile, making Willow blush, "And I realised I completely sprung this on you. I was thinking about it for a few weeks and I thought we were on the same page with moving forward…we were touching a lot more, and kind of…grinding a little."

Willow blushed brightly.

"You noticed that?"

Tara nodded coyly.

"Definitely," she answered, feeling her own cheeks flush as well, before clearing her throat, "I-I didn't talk to you. I should have. So if you can forgive that, I can forgive you getting panicked last night."

Willow seemed caught for words for a moment before deciding she didn't need them and just threw her arms around Tara. Tara closed the embrace and rested her chin on her girlfriend's shoulder. They hugged silently and warmly for a loving minute or two until Tara pulled away an inch and slowly slid her hands up to Willow's shoulders.

"You came back," she said, her fingers gently massaging in towards Willow's neck, "Does that mean…?"

Willow's eyes went wide and she could only bob her head for a moment before finally managing words.

"Is that okay?"

"Oh yes," Tara breathed, finding herself moving onto her tip-toes with excitement.

Willow felt fingertips brush the nape of her neck and instantly felt her body heat soar in temperature.

_How is it she can make two little words sound so sexy?_

She exhaled slowly as she met her girlfriend's gaze.

"I feel horrible about everything I put you through. A-and I'm gonna make it up to you. Starting right now."

Tara's breath quickened; there was nothing to make up for, but reality was setting in that this was really happening.

"Right now?"

Willow smiled coyly and nodded. She could almost see Tara twitching with excitement and unable to contain herself, she pressed her body up close to her girlfriend's, kissing her squarely on the mouth.

Tara, feeling her knees tremble from the contact, took Willow's hands and started to lead her towards the bed.

"Wait," Willow said suddenly just as Tara sat on the edge, then went to the bathroom to get a face-wipe and sat down shyly beside her, "Not that I don't appreciate you doing all of this…"

She started to gently wipe the make-up from around Tara's eyes and face, cupping her cheek as she did so.

"I want to see you. Just you," she continued, reaching up to release Tara's bun so her hair hung loosely around her shoulders and smiled, "There's my girl."

Tara felt a lump rise in her throat and had to take several moments of swallowing to get it under control. Willow mistook the silence, her eyes creasing in worry almost immediately.

"I shouldn't have done that," she said, shaking her head self-deprecatingly, "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be all control-o gal, I just–"

Tara was still too choked to rush to reassurance but she was able to take Willow's hands, holding them in her lap and squeezing her palms. Willow took a soft inhalation and looked down at their hands a moment before smiling back up at Tara.

"You just get it, don't you?"

Tara's lips quirked up on one side and she nodded, making Willow's eyes shine with love.

"I-I love you, Tara. I love you so much."

Tara lifted Willow's hand to her mouth and kissed her knuckles.

"I love you too."

Willow felt a deep warmth fill her body; love for the woman sitting in front of her, and attraction at a level she'd never allowed herself to feel before. Her mind flashed to the time before she'd turned into the jittering mess that had run from the room, when everything had been new and wonderful and–

_Boobtastic._

She glanced down for a moment, then quickly looked up again so as not to raise suspicion and breathed a sigh of relief when Tara was just smiling back at her. Keeping Tara's hand in hers, she pushed herself fully onto the bed and lay down on her side, head on the pillow.

Tara copied, shuffling towards Willow so their hips and noses were bumping against each other.

Willow put her hand on Tara's arm, gently moving up and down until she felt the hairs there stick up. Her gaze flicked upwards to meet Tara's as her hand slipped past her girlfriend's wrist and intertwined their fingers together.

"Are you scared?"

Tara shook her head.

"I trust you."

It was Willow's turn to swallow a rising lump in her throat. She blinked a few times, taking in again just how beautiful Tara looked, just how much she loved her.

_How can I show her? Just how much…she's everything. How do I show her?_

"I don't know what to do," she said shyly, though keeping Tara's gaze.

"What do you want to do?" Tara asked softly, giving Willow the tiniest of nose nuzzles.

Willow's eyes automatically glanced down to Tara's full lips.

"Kiss you."

Tara closed the tiny gap between them, kissing the corner of Willow's mouth, then pressed her lips softly against her girlfriend's. Willow savoured the softness and marvelled at how the kiss somehow felt so new.

She gently moved her lips against Tara's; enjoying each caress, each touch of plumpness against her own until she felt a familiar tongue slide into her mouth and any sense of thought flew out of her mind.

She had no idea how long they stayed with their lips locked, or when Tara's hands had moved to drag her fingertips along the small of her back, but if the curtains hadn't been drawn, she would have seen the sun was already beginning to set.

Air didn't seem a good enough reason to pull away; however, when Tara traced a circle right at the base of Willow's spine, the resulting shudder made them break apart for a moment.

Willow had never understood 'kiss swollen' before, but looking at how plumped and red Tara's lips had become, she was beginning to understand the phrasing. She brought her thumb up to trace them, thinking how soft they felt no matter what part of her was touching them, then blushed as those thoughts took a turn for the naughty.

Tara gave her girlfriend's thumb a gentle kiss as it passed over lips and felt her chest start to heave as Willow looked down at her with heavy-lidded eyes. If she'd been asked before to identify a look of arousal, she would have struggled to give an answer, but as she watched Willow's pupils dilate and cheeks flush, she knew what she was seeing.

She reached down and started fumbling with the buttons on her shirt, feeling herself almost aching for Willow to touch her, an odd sensation for her, but one she very much wanted to explore nonetheless.

"Wait," Willow suddenly piped up, catching Tara's wrist to stop her, "You were so brave last night. I know how shy you are about your body, I don't get why, 'cause you're so beautiful, but I know you are. And you trusted me and I want to trust you, I do trust you, and–"

She cut herself on before she went into full babble mode and left Tara's arm back down by her side. She then sat back on her heels and with a shaky breath of nerves and anticipation, brought her own arms over her head.

Tara sat up and shuffled herself towards Willow. She put her hands under Willow's shoulders and slid them slowly down until she was clutching the hem of her t-shirt. She pressed her lips against Willow's sweetly for a moment before lifting the garment over her girlfriend's head.

"I-I haven't got your, um, fullness," Willow said, seeing her t-shirt fall to the ground out of the corner of her eye, "I know you've touched them, but not without my top on. And I've kinda sorta been wearing a padded bra."

"For me?" Tara questioned, and got an embarrassed nod in return, "You don't have to do that for me. I want you just as you are."

Willow smiled softly and watched as Tara's eyes slowly fell from her face to her chest, then realised after another minute she was still holding her arms up. Embarrassed again, she let them fall back down, though Tara didn't seem to notice as she trailed a finger along Willow's collarbone and dipped between her cleavage.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered, letting her finger follow the line of Willow's bra.

Willow blushed as she felt her nipples harden, then remembered Tara having the same reaction the night before, and nights previous, when the outerwear had been thin enough for her to feel it.

She let her hands rest on Tara's hips, fingertips brushing against the small patch of skin between where her shirt and pants met, until they were inching towards the bottom button.

"Tara, can I?" she asked quietly.

Tara glanced down and saw where Willow's hands were, then looked up to her with a blush and shy smile. She nodded and waited patiently while Willow fumbled her way up, then helped with the shrugging off when the top button was finally released.

Willow's eyes roamed over her girlfriend's smooth skin and she started to feel that same overwhelming feeling she had the night before – but there was no way she was about to run out this time.

"Can we kiss again?" she asked, tearing her gaze up to Tara's eyes.

Tara understood the implication of slowness and nodded with a reassuring smile. They lay back down; though with Willow on her back this time, Tara on her side and half on top of her.

Willow took a sharp intake of breath as she felt Tara's breasts push against hers and didn't waste a second on claiming those lips again, forgoing the gentle exploration of earlier in place of hungry kisses.

Tara tried to keep up with Willow's eager mouth, though her hand remained slow in its discovery of her girlfriend's chest; feeling the way her collarbone jutted out and palming the softness of her breasts through her bra.

It wasn't long before she felt Willow's hands roam down to feel the same area on her, and struggled even more to keep up with their kiss as soft gasps rose from her throat.

Willow slowed the kiss when she felt Tara not as eager to respond, then broke away completely when she heard a quite audible inhale.

"Am I hurting you?"

Tara blushed and shook her head.

"It feels really nice," she answered bashfully.

Willow blushed too and nodded.

"Me too. Really nice. Really, really nice."

She took Tara's lips again, a little slower this time, and let her hands spend some time appreciating the smooth contours of Tara's back. She felt herself shiver as her hand followed the defined curve along her side, then fell to caress the small of her back.

"Tara, you're so soft," she murmured against her girlfriend's lips, not willing to break contact with her.

"So are you," Tara whispered back, just as her hand slid up to Willow's shoulder and pushed her bra strap off.

Willow glanced down at her fallen strap, then back up to Tara and smiled at the questioning eyes staring back at her. She brought her own hand up to the hooks of Tara's bra as she turned her head in to kiss her girlfriend's neck.

She could agree, that given that it was her first time attempting to take a bra off from that angle, and given she was also distracted by the wonder that was Tara's skin, that it was understandable she may have had a little trouble with the task at hand, but she started to get flustered when the clasps just refused to let go.

_Just has to have three hooks…take them one at a time…there's one…there's two…there's…Did I just re-hook two?!_

Tara had been completely side-tracked from her own attempts at bra-removal as she'd enjoyed the attention to the tender skin around her neck, until Willow had stopped to focus. She waited patiently, though with her heart pounding, to be disrobed, then felt how the hands on her back had started to claw slightly.

Sensing the predicament, and trying to be helpful, she sat up and turned her back to Willow, gathering her hair over her shoulder so her girlfriend had unrestricted access.

Willow blushed a bright red that she'd been 'caught' with her ineptitude.

"Thanks," she said with an embarrassed clearing of her throat, putting her hands either side of the hooks and releasing them easily.

Her embarrassment was quickly forgotten as Tara turned back around and she received an unobstructed view of her girlfriend's full breasts, her nipples already standing at attention, just as perfectly pink and round as Willow remembered.

"Tara…" she whispered in awe, lifting her hands to cup them both firmly.

Tara felt a surge shoot from where Willow was touching her, straight between her legs. She gasped at the intensity and the accompanying hot flush she felt spread over her.

Willow heard, and felt a sense of pride of being able to elicit such a reaction. Her hands continued to gently mould themselves around Tara's breasts, until she felt the other strap of her bra being pushed down. She met Tara's eyes again and lowered her hands.

"Got distracted," said with a soft and shy smile, "Go ahead."

Tara exhaled a shaky breath and brought her hands to Willow's shoulders, lingering there for a moment, before slipping down and snapping the bra open with on easy movement.

While Tara's eyes wandered over her girlfriend's naked chest, admiring all she saw; Willow gaped downwards at her fallen bra.

"You got mine off in one go!"

"I've been practicing," Tara replied absently, her attention very much elsewhere.

"Practicing?" Willow asked, her voice raising an octave.

Tara dragged her gaze up and blushed as she realised what she'd revealed.

"Don't tell anyone?" she asked, bashful, only for Willow to frown, confusing her, "Sweetie? Do you want to stop?"

Willow crossed her arms over her chest.

"I-I don't know."

Tara quickly offered her the sheet to cover up with.

"I won't look if you don't want me to."

Willow tugged the sheet over her chest.

"Practicing?" she echoed, forlorn, before her brow creased with anger, "I'm not okay with that!"

Tara took a pillow and put it over her own chest, looking down, humiliated.

"D-don't judge me."

"Judge you?!" Willow spat, her eyes teaming with fury, "Sorry that I'm a little upset that my girlfriend's been 'practicing' with a bunch of other girls! What else did you 'practice'?"

Tara visibly did a double-take.

"What?" she asked in utter confusion, before realising what Willow thought, "Willow, no, that's not…that's not what I meant."

Her cheeks turned as red as a tomato as Willow looked to her for an explanation.

"I've been putting my bras on my pillows and practicing from that angle," she said, barely above a whisper.

Willow blinked a couple of times, then smiled for a moment at how adorable that was, before realising all at once the way she reacted.

"Oh, Tara..." she said, swallowing nervously for a moment, "That's so sweet."

She dropped the sheet back down and ducked her head to search for Tara's eyes, which were still downcast.

"Big dummy here. I should've been doing that so I wasn't a fumbling idiot."

"I didn't think that," Tara replied quickly, still looking down and idly playing with her fingers.

Willow tentatively took her hands.

"Tara, I'm so sorry. I guess I had to have one freak-out, wouldn't be me otherwise," she joked in an attempt for levity, "Least I didn't run away this time."

Tara finally looked up and let the pillow fall back down. Willow scooted over so their chests pressed together, and after taking a moment to pull in some air that drained from her at the contact, lifted her hand to shakily and tenderly brush some hair from Tara's face.

"Forgive me?" she asked, more breathy than intended.

Tara could only nod as she found herself suddenly filling with something quite new to her.

Passion.

She could feel Willow's breasts against hers and felt a throbbing sensation between her legs when their nipples brushed off each other. Part of her was terrified, but a bigger part of her want to rip the rest of Willow's clothes off and discover what exactly this 'passion' was all about.

The two sides seemed to compromise by taking Willow's lips in a fiery kiss again while her fingertips slid up and down her girlfriend's back.

Willow, too, felt the overwhelming desire and was all too happy to respond with her own caresses.

"I want to touch you everywhere," she said as she rolled completely on top of Tara and kissed down her throat, "Do that moan again."

Tara blinked as she tried to understand the request, but all she could feel were Willow's lips.

"Huh?"

"That moan," Willow repeated, kissing her way around to Tara's ear, almost moaning herself at the thought, "The moan you did last night…when I did this…"

She closed her thumb and her forefinger over Tara's nipple and gave it a squeeze, resulting in that same deep moan she'd heard the night before, but even louder.

"Yeah, that one!" she exclaimed in delight.

Tara had a nanosecond of embarrassment at the sound she produced, but it quickly got lost in the haze as Willow sat back, straddling her, and began to experiment with what other noises she could get out of her.

"Tara, you're amazing," she said as she slid her hands up her girlfriend's torso to see how much of her breasts she could cup and how hard her nipples got, "You get so pointy."

Tara's already flushed cheeks grew a brighter red and she self-consciously crossed her arms over her chest. Willow looked up and instantly realised she'd embarrassed her girlfriend.

"It's not a bad thing!" she rushed to reassure, thrusting her own chest out in indication, "Mine just like…round out a little…nothing special."

Tara was distracted from her discomfiture as Willow's breasts hung above her. Her arms fell away from her chest and one hand crept up, cupping a breast firmly. She brushed her thumb over the slightly stiffened peak and watched in a mixture of arousal and fascination as the skin around started to pucker.

Willow let out a moan of her own as Tara felt around her nipples; a moan that turned into a sharp gasp when an unexpected pair of lips kissed each.

"Okay," she said with a squeak, truly understanding what the word 'straining' meant, "Maybe I get pointy too."

Tara grew more confident as she heard her girlfriend moan again and understood why Willow had requested one from her before – it was an addicting sound. She crossed her wrists around Willow's neck and continued to kiss around her breasts, enjoying the difference in texture between her soft flesh and harder nipples. She helped Willow to lie back down when she felt her get unsteady a few minutes later, and turned herself so she could trail her lips all over her girlfriend's chest and collarbone.

The feel of Tara's weight on her now-naked chest, breasts rubbing against her stomach and those wonderful, soft lips pressing into what felt like every inch of her made Willow feel like her skin was on fire. Her hands were blindly groping at Tara, taking handfuls wherever she landed. Her body wriggled as Tara's hands joined the game around her breasts, until an adventurous tongue hit her nipple.

She yelped and jumped at the surprise jolt of pleasure that shot between her legs, resulting in an accidental headbutt and a sharp kick from her sneaker-covered foot to Tara's shin.

Willow's hands flew to her mouth as she looked on in shock for a moment before reaching out to touch Tara's forehead, the point of collision.

"Tara, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. It felt so good and I spazzed and oh god, I'm so sorry."

Tara cracked one eye open, anticipating some pain from the shaking her brain took, but luckily felt nothing.

"It's okay, it didn't hurt," she reassured, giving her shin a quick rub, "I was just surprised."

Willow rubbed her thumb over the slightly red mark on Tara's forehead guiltily, but was happy that no bump appeared to be forming. She left a tender kiss on the spot, then looked down apologetically into Tara's eyes.

"I didn't think I'd need to say 'forgive me?' so often."

"Nothing to forgive," Tara replied, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind Willow's ear, before smiling softly, "But maybe you should take your shoes off."

Willow smiled too, then caught Tara's hand gently, rubbing over her wrist affectionately for a moment. She met Tara's gaze and slowly brought her girlfriend's hand down her side and over the curve of her hip so it was resting on her jean-clad thigh.

"Maybe you could…take them off."

Tara's breath quickened as she understood that Willow meant more than just her shoes. Even so, she decided those were where she would start, and sat back, shuffling between Willow's legs.

She took one of Willow's feet in her lap and slipped the sneaker off her heel. The sock followed with a small tug.

Willow didn't realise it was possible for such a simple act to be carried out with such tenderness but as Tara gave her sole a gentle massage, then moved to do the same routine on her other foot, she didn't think she'd ever felt more loved.

She let out a soft sigh as Tara kneaded her foot, then giggled when her toes were kissed.

"I'm sorry," Tara said, looking up but keeping her hands on Willow's foot, "You have cute toes."

"Don't be sorry," Willow replied with a smile, before giving her toes a curious wiggle, "I do?"

Tara nodded with a giggle, the sound sending a beat of joy to Willow's heart.

"I love you, Tare-bear," she said softly, looking up at her girlfriend adoringly.

Tara smiled at the new nickname and lay back down where she was before.

"I love you, too, Willow."

Their fingers entwined over Willow's stomach, just resting there softly for a moment as they smiled at each other, until Tara felt her hand being encouraged downwards again. She felt her fingertips hit against the cold metal of the button on Willow's jeans and circled it just once before popping it open.

Willow felt a rush of excitement as Tara pulled her zipper down at what seemed like an agonisingly slow rate and was more than eager to help with lifting her hips and kicking her jeans off when they were free.

She wasn't shy anymore. She wanted this; wanted Tara to see her, to touch her, love her.

Tara was both surprised and pleased by the quick removal of her girlfriend's pants, and started a slow appreciation with her eyes from Willow's ankles to her thighs. She could feel a warming sensation filling her, in one place in particular, and couldn't resist curving her palm over Willow's thigh.

She heard a hitch of breath from above and slid her hand up the smooth, delicate skin until she brushed again the fabric of her girlfriend's panties and toyed with the side of the fabric.

She traced the corner of the pink boyshorts, and while she was very interested in what was underneath them, the logo on the front caught her attention for a moment.

"Did you wear these on purpose?" she asked with an amused smile, looking up to Willow for an answer.

Willow looked down in confusion and immediately reddened as she realised she should've taken more care in deciding what undergarments to wear, knowing that Tara would hopefully be taking them off.

"The first time you take off my panties and they have Hello Kitty on them," she muttered, more to herself, bringing her hands up to cover her face, before considering what Tara had said, "Wait, what do you mean 'on purpose'?"

It was Tara's turn to go a scarlet colour and she quickly shook her head.

"Never mind."

"No, tell me," Willow insisted, curious as to why Hello Kitty panties would have been intentional.

Tara couldn't quite meet Willow's eye.

"I just thought you were being funny," she explained weakly, clearing her throat and lowering her tone, "Hello _Kitty_…hello…"

Willow looked between her panties and Tara in complete confusion for a moment before catching onto the train of thought.

"Tara!" she exclaimed, eyes wide in shock in shock at her 'innocent' girlfriend, then giggled, "You're naughty."

Tara covered her face with her hands but it did nothing to hide the crimson tinge her cheeks had adopted. Willow sat up and put her hands on Tara's wrists, gently lifting them away.

"You're cute when you blush," she whispered, kissing those flushing cheeks, "And you're sexy."

Tara felt a rush of air leave her lungs at that – it was the first time she'd ever heard herself described in such a way.

"S-Sexy?"

"Very," Willow replied in what could be described as an attempted seductive manner as she slid her hands down Tara's sides to her waist, "We have a bit of a clothing disparity."

Tara wasn't sure what switch had been flicked in her girlfriend, but she could definitely feel herself responding to the low tone and confident glint in her eye. She could only nod, both in agreement to the statement and willingness to rectify it, and had to take great care to manage her breathing as her pants were loosened and dragged down her legs.

Her eyelids fluttered as Willow dropped some soft kisses against her shin and knees, but they flew right open again as they moved up her thighs and up, under her bellybutton. The 'stirring' sensations were getting more and more intense, especially when she felt fingertips dancing around her thighs and brushing underneath the lace of her panties.

"Y-you can take them off," she said, a rush of confidence coming as a by-product from the rush of heat.

Willow's hands stilled.

"Are you sure?"

Tara nodded quickly, before she lost her nerve. Her hips were lifted, ready for that last article of clothing to be removed, but Willow made no move to.

She slowly dropped back down to the bed, flushed with embarrassment.

"Do you not want to take them off?" she asked, though not accusingly.

Willow was stuck in place.

"I do. Just, whoa, you know?"

Tara nodded understandingly.

"We can slow down. Or stop–"

Willow's head shot up, shaking from side to side.

"I don't wanna stop."

Tara flushed again, but happily this time.

"Okay. We won't stop," she replied, feeling encouraged by the look on Willow's face, "Would you like me to take them off?"

Willow's eyes went wide and she nodded.

"Uh huh, yeah."

Tara turned a little brighter shade of red but brought her hands to her panties and started to tug them down.

"No, I thought you meant me!" Willow said quickly, stopping her, "I want you to take mine off!"

Tara's hands slid away from her panties.

"Oh."

Willow shuffled back a little and looked up into Tara's eyes.

"Same time?"

Tara nodded.

"Okay."

Willow helped her sit up and get on her knees, then they both reached across each other so they were holding the others' panties.

Tara felt Willow's hands trembling by her thighs but knew hers were doing the same. She took some slow breaths to calm herself.

"Okay…one…tw–"

"Wait!" Willow suddenly interrupted loudly, causing Tara to nearly jump out of her skin, "Are we going on three or after three?"

Tara went back to her calming breaths before managing an answer.

"On three."

Willow nodded vigorously and Tara gripped her panties again.

"One…two…thr–"

"Wait!" Willow shouted again, terrified she'd get something wrong, "Are we just pulling them down or taking them off?"

Tara had been less than a nanosecond away from 'the yank' during the latest outburst, so it took even more to stop her racing heart, but for Willow's sake, she tried to appear as collected as possible.

"I think we'll need to take them off."

Willow nodded again.

"Right. Makes sense," she replied, her concentrated intake of breath mirroring Tara's, "So off…on three."

Tara kept their gazes locked as she felt hands grip her underwear again.

"One…two…" she started, then paused a long moment in case Willow had another objection, "Three."

They both tugged and pulled the panties from each other without breaking their eye-lock.

"We're naked," Willow said, somewhat unnecessarily.

Tara nodded.

"I know."

Willow was trying her hardest to keep her head up before she had permission.

"Can I look?"

Tara was fighting the urge to cover herself up.

"Y-yes."

She closed her eyes, nerves at least a contributing factor among others to the butterflies in her belly. She started to shake a little in fear when minutes seemed to tick by without Willow saying anything, but was put at ease just a moment later when she felt soft kisses trail along her shoulder blade.

"You're so beautiful," Willow whispered, the phrase almost becoming a mantra as she was awed and aroused from drinking Tara in.

Her hands started to massage Tara's arms as she moved into her girlfriend's neck, before the temptation of lips became too much.

If Tara didn't know how it was to be kissed passionately before, she definitely did then. It felt like Willow was trying to breathe through her and devour her at the same time; and as she felt their bodies press together from their close proximity, a spark of the desire shot through her that made her want to do the same.

Willow nipped and sucked on Tara's bottom lip, completely overcome.

"Tara, can I touch you?" she whispered during the briefest of breaks between kissing her.

"Yes," Tara replied without hesitating, the thought of Willow's hands all over her releasing a flood between her legs.

Willow encouraged Tara to lie down again and turned on her side alongside her. She left her hand flat on Tara's stomach and instantly felt the muscles jump underneath.

"You're nervous?" she asked gently, bringing her hand up to brush some hair behind Tara's ear.

Tara tried not to squirm as Willow's hand floated back down to her belly.

"A little."

"Me too," Willow replied, brushing her fingers against the delicate curve of Tara's hip, "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

Tara automatically ducked her head, but it gave her the opportunity to take her first real look at Willow. She slowly took in how creamy-white her skin looked and noted in appreciation that there were definitely some curves there normally hidden behind clothing. Her eyes raked down from Willow's pert breasts to the triangular patch of red hair - which caused even more 'excitement' to flow - then fell off by her shins.

"Do you?" she asked softly, reaching out but stopping short of contact, "Can I touch you too?"

"Yeah," Willow breathed, feeling heat already coming from how close Tara's hand was to her.

Tara brought her hand down on Willow's calf and started rubbing there; feeling her way along defined muscle until she was at the back of her girlfriend's thighs and noticed some moisture.

Willow felt Tara's fingers start to slide a little and blushed.

"You get me so excited."

Tara's eyes widened as she realised what she was touching. Her hand seemed to develop a mind of its own and moved around to Willow's inner thigh to be closer to the source.

Willow's heart started to pound but she didn't waste a second in rolling onto her back and opening her legs a little, accommodatingly.

Tara stared down at her hand, but her gaze was quickly drawn an inch away to the apex of Willow's thighs. A wave of intense heat washed over her, which caused her hand to tighten over Willow's thigh and her thumb to brush over her girlfriend's outer lips.

Willow gasped three times in quick succession, completely on fire from the small touch. She instantly craved more.

"Touch me, Tara. Please, please."

Tara began to shake again; she wanted to do what Willow asked but was a little anxious. Willow felt the trembling fingers against her skin and quashed her desire for a moment.

"Don't be scared, love," she said as evenly as she could manage, "C'mere."

Tara lay down beside her again, barely enough room for a lone hair between their heads. Willow nuzzled their noses together for a moment, then kissed her; soft but with an obvious sense of need.

As they kissed, she slid her hand over Tara's and gently moved it up above her mound.

"Whenever you're ready," she whispered against Tara's lips, "I want you."

Willow's tone was enough to turn Tara into an even bigger puddle, but she felt like she could well and truly melt when she looked at her girlfriend's glazed eyes, a darker green than she'd ever seen before.

She pushed her hand a little further down so she was caressing the downy hairs, then continued until she felt her fingertips coated with warmth.

Willow didn't know if she was flushing from embarrassment or desire, but knew her cheeks were red hot as she let Tara slowly discover her.

Her eyes fluttered closed again as Tara's soft fingers stroked her lips. Her body filled with all kinds of new sensations, all of which seemed to be stockpiling in her lower abdomen and all of which she was greatly enjoying, until she felt a knock against the bump in her flesh.

The jolt that resulted was like a concentrated push of sensation right through her, the intensity of which made her yelp once again and squeeze her legs close, trapping Tara's hand.

Tara's instinct was to retreat, but Willow's vice grip was making it difficult.

"Willow, I'm sorry," she said, trying and failing to twist her hand away, "You n-need to open your legs, I'm sorry."

Willow wanted to slap herself for letting yelping be her response to extreme pleasure once again, though at least, she thought to herself, hadn't head-butted Tara this time. She loosened up her thighs but kept them firm enough in hope that Tara wouldn't move.

"No, no sorry," she said quickly, "I-I want you to do that again."

Tara looked unsure and Willow continued to be embarrassed.

"I just wasn't expecting…that kinda…intense, " she tried to explain, "You like spicy food, right?"

Tara thought it was an odd time to be discussing dinner options but nodded.

"Y-yes."

Willow gestured around, as if it all made sense.

"Well, you know when you get that first bite…and it almost blows your mouth off…but you want to go back for more?"

Tara nodded a couple of times as she thought over the analogy.

"So you want…more?"

"Uh huh," Willow answered speedily, "I, um, I promise I'll stop squealing."

Tara couldn't help but smile shyly.

"Maybe we should have a sign for a good squeal and a bad squeal."

Willow offered a tiny grin.

"Okay, if it's a bad squeal, I'll yell 'hippopotamus'."

Tara's eyebrow quirked.

"Hippopotamus?"

Willow shrugged.

"Well I'm not gonna call it out any other time!"

Tara smiled.

"Okay. Hippopotamus."

Willow settled her head back on the pillow and let her legs open again.

"That spot you rubbed was nice. Really nice. Super, really, fantastic nice."

Tara gingerly felt around Willow's warm folds until she found that little bud again and just barely brushed over it.

Willow jolted again but stayed in place, letting out a long moan.

"Oh my god, that feels so good," she said throatily, "Is that my…? I think that's my…"

Tara had a fair idea what Willow was referring to, though she didn't know anything beyond things she'd learned in books.

"Is this…?" she asked, stilling her hand, "I mean, how do you…?"

Willow had a brief thought about how they should both learn to finish their sentences, but focused when she realised what Tara was asking.

"Oh," she replied, blushing, "I don't… I mean, roommate etc."

"Right," Tara nodded, cheeks matching, "I never…I never really thought much about this stuff until I met you."

Willow moved her hand to Tara's shoulder and turned them over again.

"Let me show you what it feels like."

She kissed Tara's cheek softly, for reassurance, then trailed her lips down her jaw and collarbone.

Tara felt a knot of tension unravel itself each time Willow's lips pressed into skin. Her breath hitched as Willow circled around her breasts and kissed her nipples, then the knots returned as she moved down around her stomach.

She felt her legs begin to shake as those lips got lower and lower, as embarrassed about it as Willow was about her yelping. She'd almost stopped breathing completely as Willow kissed right across her pubic bone, but was able to let out air again when Willow followed the path up her stomach to her chest again.

Willow was captivated by how soft Tara's skin felt against her lips and hands and wanted nothing more than to just nuzzle into her like a kitten would do its owner. She was able to do just that as her lips turned into Tara's neck, just as she let her hand rest on her girlfriend's thigh.

Tara was finding it difficult to open her legs as obligingly as Willow had, a last screed of shyness plaguing her, but as that hand slowly crept its way inwards and finally brushed against her, they fell open with a soft gasp.

She felt another comforting kiss against her cheek and turned her head to meet Willow's kind eyes.

"I'm shaking," Willow said quietly, with a smile.

Tara could indeed feel Willow's trembling fingers against her, which made her feel less self-conscious about her own shaking.

"Me too."

"Say hippopotamus if you want me to stop," Willow replied seriously, then rolled her eyes self-deprecatingly, "Or you could not be a total dork like me and just say stop."

Tara smiled softly.

"Hey, I fell in love with that dork."

Willow smiled again and rested her head beside Tara's on the pillow.

"You're the sweetest girl in the world. My girl," she replied, before giving a silly grin, "Talkin' 'bout my girl…"

Tara giggled and Willow blushed but with a smile.

"I should leave the singing to you."

"You sound sweet," Tara replied, sharing her smile.

She brought her hand up to stroke Willow's cheek tenderly and felt the stirrings below her stomach again as she became more aware of the hand on her thigh.

She wanted to verbalise what she was feeling to Willow but found a wall of shyness stopping her. She leaned up as close to Willow's ear as she could get and whispered.

"I want you."

Willow felt her heart race in response to that and shuffled ever closer to her, if that was even possible.

"I'm here."

She managed to steady her hand as she moved up Tara's thigh and felt some the arousal that had slipped out.

Her heart gave whole new meaning to the word 'pound' as she gravitated closer and closer until her fingers were sinking between Tara's folds.

Tara's neck tilted gently back into the pillow and her lips parted. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but the sensations running through her far exceeded it. Warmth spread right down to her toes, which started to curl, as a quiet moan vibrated past her lips.

Her eyes had closed, but they wouldn't stay that way for long; flying open when Willow hit against her clit. She managed not to yelp, but did feel as if all the air had rushed from her lungs.

"I-I get what you meant. The…spicy."

Willow brushed her fingers over the bump again while offering Tara a kiss. A shudder went up her spine as she felt Tara try to pull air from her and she started to move her wrist up and down steadily.

She accidentally slipped off more than once, but Tara didn't seem to mind; her eyes just growing glassier and heavier with pleasure. During one of her 'slips', her fingers brushed over Tara's entrance, which produced a low gasp.

She toyed there for a moment, dipping just a centimetre in, then slowly pushed into her first knuckle.

She could feel Tara shaking again, but her girlfriend's eyes were full of trust.

Her finger slowly turned, taking in the velvety-softness in wonderment, then pushed up slowly again until she was fully inside.

"Willow," Tara whimpered, overwhelmed for a moment.

Willow tensed.

"Did I hurt you?"

Tara could only shake her head, but it was enough for Willow to relax and give her a reassuring smile.

"It's okay, I'm here. And I love you."

Willow couldn't help but blush as she felt Tara literally ease around her.

"It feels amazing…holding you like this."

Tara felt like she was nestled in a cocoon only big enough for them; that their surroundings had just melted away. She reached up with a limp hand to cup Willow's cheek.

"I-I feel like I was missing you and now I'm whole."

Willow's breath caught and it took her a few seconds before she managed to speak again, shakily.

"Make me whole, Tara, make me whole too."

Tara let her hand fall down to Willow's shoulder and continued down her arm.

"Sorry," she said with an embarrassed flush as she found herself unable to reach far enough over Willow's arm to get to her waist.

She attempted to go under instead but couldn't twist her wrist the right way.

"I-I'll move," Willow offered, turned around so they were both on their backs, hips touching.

Tara was able to slide her hand down Willow's stomach a lot easier then, and let her fingers slip into the wetness again.

Willow let out a low moan as Tara rubbed her bud, but when she turned her head, was very displeased with the foot of space between their faces.

"No, no, I feel like I'm on the other side of the room, I can't kiss you."

Tara stilled her hand but didn't move away.

"I can turn on my side if you take your hand away."

Willow didn't seem to like that idea either, and looked between them for a moment.

"I have an idea," she said, shifting over a little and smiling shyly, "Can I lie on top of you?"

Tara figured her cheeks must have lived in a permanently red state that evening, but managed to nod. She jerked softly when Willow removed herself, but was very happy to find a warm body crawling on top of her a moment later.

"Can't get much closer than this," Willow whispered as her thighs and breasts settled on top of Tara's, stomachs touching each time they exhaled, "Am I too heavy?"

Tara was too busy closely examining her girlfriend's features to answer, but Willow took the kiss that followed a moment later as her response.

She could feel Tara's passion bubbling into her as she was hungrily kissed and hands followed her spine over the curve of her buttocks.

Her hands were doing their own exploring along Tara's curves, finding every nuance she had.

"Tara," she breathed, her hand curling over her girlfriend's hip, "Give me your hand."

Tara held her hand up by their heads and Willow interlocked their fingers.

"Are you ready?"

Tara nodded, eyes tinged with excitement. Willow brought their hands down to their hips and lifted herself up to give a space for them. She shuffled a little as she got resettled but was able to get comfortable again with their hands still clasped together right between them.

"I'll have to let go," she said quietly, nose close enough to touch, "But I'm right here."

Tara smiled at all the reassurances and kissed Willow's cheek. Willow smiled back and released Tara's hand, stroking her thigh again. She felt Tara do the same to her, then continue inwards.

Her eyelids fluttered but she managed to keep them open as Tara stroked through her folds and teased her opening.

She tensed too when Tara started to push inside but one look into the familiar eyes staring back at her made her relax.

"Wow," she whispered, her tone that of giddy awe, "You were right…I feel so…complete."

Tara was right back in their 'cocoon'; eyes closed and just _feeling _everything, so much so that she didn't notice Willow's hand move back in a specific direction until a sharp gasp rose from her throat at the shock of being filled again.

"Wait…no…" Willow spoke again, sighing softly, "Now I do."

Tara's back and hips arched, just a little, but enough for Willow to feel a moan-worthy push of body heat against her.

She dropped her lips to find Tara's skin, connecting with the creamy expanse between her breasts and kissing up into her neck.

Tara's eyes drooped heavily until a tongue poked out over her pulse point; then the gasps came again, slow, shallow and repetitive as Willow pushed the fingers inside right into her, and out again.

She turned her chin down until her lips brushed against Willow's and took them deeply, inhaling from her with each breath.

Willow tried the movement again, feeling a fresh rush of excitement at the clench she received in response. She was about to repeat, very much liking the results she was getting, but had to pause when she felt a delicate move inside her.

Her eyes shut tight as Tara copied the slow delve in and out and she dropped her forehead against her girlfriend's shoulder, her hips the only part of her body that was moving; gently rocking up and down.

Tara thought nothing could feel better than Willow's body weight on top of her as she explored the wonderful pillowed softness of her walls, but when those fingers began moving inside her again, the pleasure of touching and being touched rocketed through her.

"Willow…" she breathed, her body overwhelmed with an almost suffocating heat.

Willow slowly nuzzled her way up to Tara's cheek.

"Baby, you okay?"

Tara's back arched again and her other hand flew to Willow's shoulder, needing to steady herself.

"I-I didn't know…W-Wow…"

"Yeah," Willow blew out shakily, taking long, slow inhalations, "Wow."

She lazily kissed along her girlfriend's jaw, but her main focus was keeping her wrist and hips pushing into Tara, taking and giving all she could.

She was able to keep the pace, though there were a few brief slips where she put too much or not enough gusto behind her and almost face-planted Tara's chest.

"Sorry," she whispered, embarrassment, when her shoulders knocked forward again.

"It's okay," Tara replied absently, eyes still closed.

She let her other palm slide down Willow's spine to cup her buttock, intending to help with the balance issue; too overcome to be self-conscious about her movements.

Willow greatly appreciated that hand supporting her for a number of reasons; not least of which was just how much closer it brought their hips together, so close she could feel Tara's heat radiating against her.

That sent a pulse through her, a pulse that bounced like skipping stones through her abdomen. The intensity caught her breath but she didn't get a chance to take it in as Tara pulled her in again and the pulse repeated.

A few more seconds of that and she had started to go red and was beginning to think she was in the midst of an asthma attack.

Tara was oblivious to the panic that was starting to set on her girlfriend's face until she heard the loud, racking breaths being taken above her. She blinked into focus but broke out with her own concern when she saw Willow's face.

"Willow, what's wrong?"

Willow was taking deep, flustered lungfuls of air and had completely stilled.

"Can't…breathe…asthma…attack."

Tara brought her hand up from Willow's back and brushed the hair that had stuck to her brow from sweat.

"Sweetie, you don't have asthma."

Willow calmed a little at Tara's touch, then turned an even brighter red as she realised she'd just freaked out at a very inopportune time, despite her lungs functioning completely normally.

"Right."

"Just breathe, it's okay," Tara comforted, rubbing small circles on Willow's back.

Willow shut her eyes tight and dropped her head.

"I'm so embarrassed."

"Willow, it's okay," Tara reassured, doing her best to ignore the ache between her legs, "Do you want to stop?"

Willow swallowed and lifted her head.

"Do you?"

Tara shook her head, unintentionally squeezing her inner muscles at the same time.

"No."

A shudder ripped up Willow's spine as she felt the clench around her and her body was responding again even if her mind was still embarrassed.

"Can we, um, kiss, you know…as well?"

Tara nodded.

"You don't have to ask to kiss me."

Willow awkwardly shuffled on top of Tara again until she was settled atop her, faces close together.

"It was, um, good, when you were holding me."

Tara moved her hand back to the small of Willow's back and let her fingertips curl over the curve of her buttocks.

Willow blushed despite herself.

"Hey," she teased, obviously trying to relieve some nerves, "You're supposed to be the shy one, stop being so calm and collected."

Tara just lifted her head to press her lips into Willow's.

"I love you."

Willow's shoulders physically dropped in relief of tension of that and she smiled softly.

"I love you too, Tara."

She encouraged Tara's neck back onto the pillow, then kissed each of her eyelids before moving back to her lips.

Tara let Willow decide when to let their bodies move again, but it didn't take long for a wrist twist to send a spasm of pleasure through her. She pulled at Willow's lips more deeply as they managed to settle back into the rhythm they had before, though they were gradually speeding up, in kissing as well.

Willow was doing much better at controlling her breathing through the pulses this time, but they were pummelling through her faster and faster, thumping together and causing her to take second-long gasps between brief kissing breaks.

Tara was starting to understand why Willow had thought she was having an asthma attack and had to break the kiss to focus on breathing after a bit, tilting her chin right back. Willow took the offering of Tara-neck that was presented, leaving sloppy kisses wherever her lips fell.

"Tara…" she gasped, overwhelmed and overcome as something big started to spark in her, "Oh my…Tara…"

She was sure her body was reaching a dangerously high temperature, but she really didn't care. She was happy to burn in a Tara-inferno.

She felt herself starting to shake and suddenly became aware of every part of her body; every hair sticking up from her skin, every bead of sweat pouring from her, every beat of her heart thumping between her ears.

Tara too felt like she was on the cusp of something huge breaking inside her. She opened her eyes in search of Willow's for some reassurance, but was distracted by the cascade of emotions she saw playing out on her girlfriend's face.

"Tara," Willow rasped again, not able to think anything but her, "Oh…oh…oh!"

A final surge exploded inside her, leaving her taut and breathless for a few perfect seconds, before she collapsed under her body weight right onto Tara.

Tara didn't have a chance to react to the sudden weight dropped on top of her though, as Willow's thigh landed between her legs and hit her clit hard enough to jolt an orgasm from her.

"Uhg!"

She stilled, completely stunned, eyes wide and focused on the ceiling.

It was almost a minute before she remembered to breathe and another before she noticed her thighs and toes twitching and felt the euphoric rush settle into a relaxed tranquillity.

"Willow?" she whispered, barely able to raise her voice, "Willow, are you okay?"

"Mmiorhnk."

Tara couldn't quite make out the mumble against her chest, which was still heaving.

"Yes?"

Willow nodded weakly into Tara's neck, then gathered just enough energy to leave a tiny kiss under her ear.

The action set off a wave of emotion inside Tara, who started to cry with a quiet sniffle.

Willow lifted her head at the sound, her face flooding with concern when she saw the tears.

"Tara?"

Tara wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what…"

She trailed off and turned her head away as if to hide. Willow plucked a tissue from the box on the nightstand and gently turned Tara's head back, tenderly dabbing the tears away.

"It's okay, Tara, I understand. All of it, I feel all of it too," she replied softly, pressing soft kisses under each of Tara's eyes, "You're amazing, do you know that? You're so amazing."

Tara let Willow see and wipe her tears. She'd never felt more loved, which didn't help with drying up her tears, but she didn't care. She'd let Willow see all of her.

"I love you, baby," she whispered, full of emotion.

Willow's lips quirked up slightly. Tara had never called her that. She liked it.

"I love you, too, Tara. With all of me."

She brushed her fingers over Tara's cheek, but made no effort to move away.

Her heart was still racing and her skin was still tingling, but she was still - never more content to hold and be held by Tara.


	19. Chapter 19

**StephenPG** – I think they just might too ;) Big relief, thanks :P

**GnomeGirly** – Your secret's safe ;) Glad you enjoyed it! Yes, the 'practice' was another misunderstanding, but in Willow's defence, that actually wasn't too much of a jump. I'm very hopeful there won't be too many more *facepalms*! :)

**Queenphoenix08** – Thank you, glad you liked it! :)

**Emerald Demona** – Yes, it was spazz-ific! But right for them, at least I hope.

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Was that before or after the toad-licking episode? :P

Oh there's nothing worse than when a planned joke just doesn't go off. Although it would've been worse if it did and she didn't laugh…

You know, it's funny, I must've read over the two chapters a hundred times in proofing etc and I don't even have it stuck in my head :P

Wait!

Only joking ;)

Willow's gonna be the cheeriest person in the world!

**CurlyAkemy** – Aww, thank you! :) :)

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – Hi there! I'm glad you enjoyed them. AUs are interesting to me because you get to see how characters would be in different situations. Apple was an experiment in how Tara could have been with a completely different upbringing and in a completely different environment. I don't regret it, I think it still held its W/T-ness, but I prefer sticking to the more traditional characterisations now. I appreciate your opinion though, and I've gone back and added a note to tell people in advance how Tara's changed. I'm not sure I'd ever do a magic fic, it's definitely not my forte!

* * *

"Should we move?"

Willow shook her head and continued to draw lazy circles on Tara's stomach.

"I don't wanna."

Tara smiled softly.

"Me either."

Willow began to gently wiggle her toes against Tara's shin, sighing contentedly.

"I feel so close to you," she said, then grinned wryly, "And not just because I'm still practically on top of you."

She'd moved off enough so that Tara wasn't taking her full body weight, but was still as close as she could possibly manage.

"I like you on top of me," Tara replied, dancing her fingertips gently down Willow's arm, "I can feel your heart beating against mine."

Willow brushed her lips over Tara's chest where her heart lay.

"I felt your heartbeat around me…you know, when…" she trailed off with a light blush, then lifted her head up to look at Tara, "Sorry, I just, kinda, uh…gave out. But it seemed like you…"

Tara's cheeks turned crimson but she didn't look away.

"I-I did."

Willow smiled and settled her head back on Tara's shoulder.

"I had no idea how good it would feel," she said, resuming her drawing on Tara's skin, "When I didn't think I was dying, that is."

She couldn't see, but she could feel Tara's smile.

"I felt safe. I always felt safe," she continued, mostly thinking aloud, "Terrified…but safe. Then good…very, very good. Great…magnificent…fantastic…brain is still too fried to think of more synonyms, but really, really…great. I still feel great. Like I could run a marathon."

Willow caught a sceptical glance directed at her and smiled again.

"Okay, maybe not a marathon…but a slow jog around campus for sure!"

Tara smiled too and glanced at the alarm clock on her nightstand.

"It's a little late for a jog," she joked, then kissed Willow's cheek, "I feel like the whole world is just you and me."

"You do?" Willow asked, liking that concept.

"Reminds me of a poem I like…" Tara mused quietly, "A special world for you and me…a special bond one cannot see …it wraps us up in its cocoon …and holds us fiercely in its womb. Its fingers spread like fine spun gold, gently nestling us to the fold. Like silken thread it holds us fast…bonds like this are meant to last. And though at times a thread may break, a new one forms in its wake. To bind us closer and keep us strong, in a special world, where we belong."

Willow listened intently as Tara spoke, then cuddled in closer.

"I love that," she said softly, "Will you turn off the alarm? I want nice waking-up-with-kisses-and-touching, not shriek-y, maniacal beeping."

Tara gingerly turned herself over to reach for the alarm. Willow took the opportunity to take a good look down her girlfriend's spine and over her buttocks, but her own gaze was drawn almost immediately to a small spattering of blood on the spot where Tara had rolled off.

"Tara?" she asked, her voice raising an octave in concern as her hand reached out to her girlfriend's shoulder, "Tara, did I hurt you?"

Tara looked over her shoulder in confusion and saw where Willow was looking.

"No," she reassured with a shake of her head; she remembered being overwhelmed but not any pain, "Really, you didn–"

She cut herself off as Willow shifted and noticed a similar stained patch where she was laying. Willow was about to wave her hand in Tara's face, unsure why she'd stopped talking, but understood when she followed her gaze.

"Oh," she replied, shuffling her legs a little self-consciously, "Ruined your sheets."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"They're just sheets," she said, then shyly reached out to play with the ends of Willow's hair, "Do you want to have a shower?"

Willow was more than a little reluctant to wash off the sheen of their lovemaking.

"Yeah, I guess."

Tara's face lit up and she started to sit, taking the sheet with her to cover her chest coyly.

"H-How do you like the temperature?"

Willow was confused for a moment before she realised what Tara meant.

_She means with her. She means with her! Oh, most definitely yes to showering with her!_

"Um, warm," she answered, much more excited about the prospect of showering now, "You know, not too hot."

Tara nodded and swung her legs off the bed, but stopped short of actually standing. Willow noticed her shy toying with the side of the sheet and moved back a little to give her some space.

"I can look away if you want."

Tara still looked bashful but smiled and shook her head, before jumping up and quickly scurrying across the room to the bathroom.

Willow watched the playful bounce of her buttocks with glee until Tara disappeared into the bathroom, then spread herself out and did a horizontal happy dance on top of the mattress. She stopped when she heard the water start and composed herself, then quickly stripped the stained sheet from the mattress and folded it over the end, wanting to be helpful.

"Willow?" Tara's voice called out a moment later, "Water's ready."

"Coming!" Willow called back, stretching her back for a moment before padding along the floor to join Tara in the bathroom.

"Hi," Tara said shyly, half-hiding behind the opened shower door, which was futile really considering it was glass and very see-through.

"Hi," Willow replied, a little more confident in her nakedness, or at least not trying to hide it, "Do you wanna, um…?"

Tara nodded, so Willow stepped into the shower cubicle, and was joined a few seconds later.

"Just the right temperature," Willow smiled as the water cascaded down over them, "Is it okay for you?"

Tara nodded again, her shyness making Willow's heart flutter.

"Well while we're in here, can I wash your hair?" she asked hopefully, "Not that you need it washed, just love running my fingers through it and love the smell of your shampoo and it'd be really nice."

Tara wordlessly bent down and picked up her honeysuckle-scented shampoo, then offered the bottle to Willow.

"Thanks," Willow beamed excitedly, squirting a generous amount for Tara's long hair into her palm.

She left the bottle down again and started to lather the top of Tara's hair, gently turning her then so she could get the back.

"You're good at this," Tara said as Willow gently massaged her scalp.

"Been washing my own for about fifteen years," Willow joked in response, then pressed the front of her body right up close to Tara's back, "I love you, Tara."

Tara let out a shaky breath as Willow pressed kisses along her shoulder blade and hands settled over her stomach.

"I-I love you too."

Willow gently squeezed Tara's midsection for a moment.

"Do you condition?"

Tara nodded, feeling deep knots form in her belly.

"Blue bottle."

Willow looked around and located the blue bottle, then gently applied the conditioner to the ends of Tara's hair.

"I could play with your hair for hours," she said, letting the water run through to rinse, "It's so silky."

She started to run her fingers through Tara's hair to make sure the conditioner was completely washed out, and tried another body-press.

"I could get used to this showering together thing too."

Tara blushed and looked down smiling, giving Willow enough of a neck-tilt to leave some soft kisses there.

"You're so beautiful," Willow whispered, bringing her hands up to slowly move down Tara's arms, "Making love with you…couldn't be anyone else. Just you. And me."

She smiled.

"In our own special world."

Tara caught Willow's hand as it brushed against her hip and laced their fingers together, then slowly turned back around. She lifted Willow's hand to her mouth and delicately kissed her palm, then reached for the shampoo.

"Can I?"

"Yeah," Willow replied eagerly, smiling still.

She dropped her cheek against Tara's chest and enjoyed the feeling of Tara washing her hair.

Tara gave Willow's scalp the same gentle massage she received and started to let her hands follow the lather falling down her girlfriend's back, when all of a sudden the water temperature began to quickly fall until they were standing under a spout of freezing spray.

Willow jumped in shock at the icy hit and made a grab for the nozzle, quickly shutting it off.

"What the frilly heck!?"

"The water heater only gives fifteen minutes before switching off," Tara explained, crossing her arms over her chest for a little warmth. "I-I forgot. Sorry."

"Jeez, good thing I don't normally take long showers," Willow replied, shivering a moment, then squeezed Tara's shoulder to reassure, "That's okay. Least we were all rinsed!"

Tara accepted the comfort and smiled, then opened the shower door for them. She took her robe from the hook on the wall, then offered Willow hers.

Willow threw her robe on and secured the tie, then stepped up on her tip-toes to press a lingering, sweet kiss against Tara's lips.

"Am I being too clingy?" she asked, keeping their faces close together, "I feel like I want…need…to be touching you. Always."

Tara pecked Willow's lips softly.

"The closer the better."

Willow nuzzled their noses together, then took Tara's hand to walk back into the room.

"I took the sheet off."

Tara nodded and went to pick it up.

"I'll just soak it really quick and put another one on."

Willow perched on the end of the bed and waited while Tara disappeared back into the bathroom, hearing the water running in the sink.

She cast a fond look back to the bed and did a sweeping pat of appreciation for all that had happened there before jumping up, ready to help, when Tara came back out.

"I wasn't sure where you had your spare sheet."

Tara walked over to the closet and retrieved her normal red sheets.

"These ones probably would have been nicer but I thought different ones from last night might make you less nervous."

Willow smiled at the thought.

"Wow, you can de-spazz me…at least a little. Still a feat, you should be proud."

She took the corner of the sheet and helped Tara tuck it in over the mattress. Once secured, she jumped back on top and shuffled up to rest her back against the headboard.

"You joining me?"

Tara scooted over next to her and lay her legs out so their calves touched. Willow crossed their ankles and turned her toes in to wiggle against Tara's, then leaned over to kiss her.

Her hand found its way to the back of Tara's neck as she deepened the kiss, but was interrupted as her stomach suddenly made its lack of sustenance known – loudly. She pulled away, embarrassed.

"Wow, just when I thought I'd gotten through all the embarrassment I could in this bed."

Tara just smiled kindly, then slipped off the end of her bed to get her satchel hanging over the chair at her desk.

"I kinda sneaked a few things into my bag from the cafeteria when I was at lunch," she said, taking a few odd pens and pieces of paper out, then emptied the contents on the bed as she blushed, "Thought we might miss dinner."

A couple of pieces of fruit, a variety of granola bars, cookies, bags of chips, pretzels, nuts, some string cheese, and crackers with a handful of serving-size containers of peanut butter fell into a pile by Willow's knees.

"Whoa! You got the motherload!"

Tara left her satchel down and rubbed her own shoulder self-consciously.

"I felt really bad. The cafeteria lady is really nice...but she's blind in one eye."

Willow was busy eyeing the various packages, but looked up when she picked up on Tara's tone.

"Don't worry about it," she said with an easy smile, patting the space on the bed next to her, "Really. No worries. Not tonight. It's just some snacks, no one's going to get in any trouble."

Tara's trouble seemed eased, at least for now, and she tucked herself in beside Willow again. Willow started grabbing at the food, ripping and tearing things open until she'd left a platter of crackers, some with peanut butter and some with cheese, alongside slices of apples with pretzels pressed into them on the sheet in front of Tara.

"A meal fit for my queen and star," she announced, then smiled sheepishly, "Best I can do. Someday I'll cook you a real meal…and you'll be wishing you had some crackers to munch on."

Tara just smiled and picked up one of the crackers.

"Thank you."

Willow dug into one of the granola bars, then demolished a bag of chips and finished off with a cookie while Tara peeled an orange.

"I like fruit," Willow said, watching Tara tear away the segments, "But I could never choose an orange if there was a chocolate chunk sitting there."

Tara smiled again.

"At least we'll never fight over the last cookie."

Willow laughed and polished off the second cookie for good measure, then gathered all of the empty packets and left them off to the side to deal with later.

"Do you want to sleep?" Tara asked as they settled back down.

"Not really," Willow answered, before adding quickly, "But I don't mind if you do. I'm happy to lay here."

"I'm happy to lay here too," Tara replied, toying with the end of Willow's wet hair, "I don't really want to sleep either."

"Wanna watch some TV?" Willow suggested.

Tara nodded, so Willow found the remote and tuned in to some late-night TV. She sat behind Tara and enjoyed feeling so relaxed in her presence.

"Love you, Tare-bear," she whispered, leaving a kiss behind Tara's ear.

Tara was becoming less and less interested with the television set as she felt Willow's hot breath hit her. She closed her eyes and felt her pulse quicken.

Willow could see Tara's cheeks flushing.

_That's 'cause of me._

Encouraged, Willow put her hand on Tara's waist and squeezed her hip through the robe. Tara exhaled a soft breath and was about to turn to meet Willow's lips; when a loud, male voice was suddenly screeching at them from the television.

"Bedding! Electrical! Furniture! Everything on sale NOW! You heard us right, everything on sale RIGHT NO–"

Willow grabbed the remote and quickly turned it off, then huffed out a breath when she saw Tara pulling her robe around her self-consciously, interpreting the mood as officially ruined.

_Stupid TV. Stupid late-night commercials. Just wanted to smooch her a little...and well if she wanted more who am I to deny? STUPID TV!_

"We could listen to some music instead," she suggested, then went to retrieve her laptop when Tara gave a small nod of agreement.

She put on some easy-listening stuff, not too loud so they wouldn't get a noise violation. They sat without saying much to each other for quite a while, though continued to share coy glances and smiles.

"Do you want to sleep now?" Willow asked after a while, not wanting Tara to stay up just because she was.

Tara shook her head shyly.

"No."

Willow could see Tara was feeling awkward so encouraged them down a little so they were lying next to each other and stroked her arm reassuringly.

"Let's just lay here."

"Okay," Tara whispered, feeling that surge of heat again, that happened when Willow got that close to her.

Willow noticed the hitched breath.

_Mood back on?_

She turned her head to kiss her girlfriend softly, but quickly found Tara pulling at her cheeks to deepen it.

_Mood back on!_

She responded just as eagerly to the kiss, confident this time her stomach or the TV wouldn't disturb them. Her hand went to Tara's neck again but she quickly found herself unable to resist dropping down under her robe to cup one of her girlfriend's full breasts.

Tara moaned against Willow's lips and pulled the tie of her robe free, wanting Willow to have access to wherever she wanted to touch; the deep throbbing sensation of need overwhelming any shyness.

Willow's eyes were immediately drawn down and after a slow savouring of her girlfriend's body, she sat back and disrobed herself.

"Can I look at you, Tara?" she asked breathlessly, moving one knee over Tara's waist so she was straddling her, "Really look at you?"

Tara still had vestiges of bashfulness, but nodded with an air of trust.

"All you want."

Willow leaned down so their noses were touching again and started there, gently tracing Tara's features, letting her lips follow where her finger fell off; across Tara's forehead, on each of her eyes, over her cheeks and around her ear.

"Beautiful Tara," she whispered as she nuzzled into her girlfriend's graceful neck and took a slow exploration down her chest.

For one of the first times of her life, Tara felt like that could be true. She was determined not to cry again, feeling silly and didn't want to worry Willow, but let herself feel the emotion with each stroke of her girlfriend's hand and press of her lips.

Willow followed no particular path leisurely down Tara's body, giving each piece of skin thorough examination. She reached Tara's ankles and circled back up her thighs until her lips were brushing over her girlfriend's mound.

Tara tensed and looked down, catching Willow's eye. She relaxed at the tender green staring back at her and very slowly spread her thighs open for Willow's gaze.

Willow eyes flickered down automatically and she found her breath catching as Tara slowly revealed herself. She'd had glances earlier, had touched her thoroughly, but seeing each delicate crease and fold was like discovering a whole new world.

"Tara, you're…"

She trailed off, unsure what to say. She didn't want 'beautiful' to become redundant but then almost immediately realised it wouldn't, it couldn't. Tara _was _beautiful, would always be beautiful and the more she discovered of her, the more it was true.

"You're beautiful."

She traced the V of Tara's inner thighs for a moment, before gently lifting herself up so they were face to face again.

"Can I give you a kiss?"

Tara reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind Willow's ear, an action that soothed both of them.

"I told you, you don't have to ask."

Willow shook her head.

"No, I mean, a… special kiss."

She took a long glance down, then peeked back at Tara to see if she understood. Tara had to stop herself from squirming as she felt another knot in her belly and kept her fingers brushing Willow's cheek.

"Y-you don't have to ask."

Willow pressed deep kisses onto each of Tara's cheeks, then kissed a tender line back down to where she was before. She shuffled her shoulders in close, close enough that she could see Tara's thighs twitching as her warm breath hit against her girlfriend's flesh.

She swore she saw Tara grow pinker and wetter, and her nose picked up the heady scent that seemed to be getting stronger, making her throb below her belly.

She was in awe of how Tara's body was responding to her, and leaned right in to press that kiss between her lips. Her mouth instinctively opened to taste more of the sweetness that slipped through.

Tara wasn't sure if she heard or felt Willow's moan, but either way, it sent a fresh pang through her abdomen. The first brush of Willow's lips on her heat had been intense in a way she didn't expect, but the eager kisses that were following were even more so.

She began to writhe as little individual kisses turned into one, open-mouth, continued one and clutched at her own belly as if trying to squeeze the tension free.

The all-engulfing heat was filling her again and that becoming-recognisable tingle started in her toes. They curled forwards as a wave crashed over her, then another and another until she was unable to take in breath any longer.

Her mouth stayed open dumbly and unmoving for another long second before a climax finally broke through. Her hands clutched the air and her body trembled as some quiet noises rose from her throat.

She felt pleasure burst from her, a thousand times stronger than earlier that night, leaving her in a state of still bliss until she registered sloppy kisses moving up her chest.

Willow nuzzled into Tara's neck, effectively wiping her mouth in the process. She was very satisfied with all Tara had to offer and was pleased with herself for the reaction she'd gotten – she felt bad for being 'selfish' the first time even if Tara had 'got there' in the end.

She curved her kisses up Tara's ear again, then suddenly dissolved into a fit of giggles. Tara's eyes flew open and her whole body tensed again. Willow was rolling gently from side to side, holding herself around her waist as she laughed, a deep joyous laugh. She turned to Tara to see if her girlfriend was feeling the same way she was, but instantly stopped when she saw it wasn't the case.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, moving closer again.

Tara had rushed to cover herself with the sheet and had a vice-grip on it.

"W-Why are you laughing?"

"Because that was awesome!" Willow replied, as if it was obvious.

Tara turned her head just enough to meet Willow's gaze.

"You're not l-laughing at me?"

"Tara, no," Willow rushed to reassure, her tone soft and apologetic, "I love kissing you…everywhere. I love this, exploring you, seeing you…I just love you so much, Tara."

Tara saw the sincerity in Willow's eyes and relaxed her body first, then the grip on the sheet.

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry, I was thoughtless," Willow replied, curling into Tara's side, "I never want to make you feel bad."

Tara's worry eased completely and she cuddled back against Willow. She had just enough energy to receive a warm kiss against her lips, before she slouched right back against the bed, and fell asleep.

* * *

Tara inhaled deeply as she shifted into consciousness. She couldn't remember the last time she'd woken up so relaxed, or even ever being so relaxed.

She stretched her back a little and turned her head, smiling when she saw Willow perched on her elbow beside her, smiling back.

"Hey, you."

Tara couldn't help a giggle and sleepily brought a hand up to rub her eyes.

"Oh, Willow, I'm sorry, I fell asleep."

"That's okay, it was just for a little while," Willow replied, dropping a lingering kiss on Tara's cheek, "You looked so peaceful. And I didn't even peek under the covers!"

Tara blushed and smiled.

"The blanket did slip off once…" Willow continued, grinning now, "But I was a perfect gentlewoman about it. I only stared for ten seconds before covering you up again."

Tara cast a glance at the crack in the curtains where she could see the sky was just changing from black to blue.

"The sun will be coming up soon. You're still not tired?"

"Nope," Willow replied with as much enthusiasm as ever, "Still up for that slow-jog. But go back asleep if you want. That's a-okay."

"How about a compromise?" Tara asked, shuffling closer to Willow, "Let's walk to our tree and watch the sunrise together. We said we wanted to do that sometime."

Willow was pleasantly surprised as Tara, without her normal air of shyness, began to kiss a trail along her shoulder blade.

"Mmhh, that feels good…I mean sounds good," she corrected, tilting her neck for more, "My only complaint is having to put clothes on."

Tara smiled against Willow's skin.

"It's a little too chilly not to."

Willow turned her head down and tilted Tara's chin up so their lips met softly.

"Let's go watch the sunrise."

They dressed themselves with coy glances and giggles until they were covered. Willow walked over to Tara as she blew out the last candle and tenderly buttoned up the top two buttons of her sweater, then smiled.

"Hey, clothes."

Tara glanced down for a moment then looked up with a crooked smile that made Willow's heart flutter in a whole new way.

"Better not get used to them."

Willow's eyes lit up and she curled a finger into the loop of Tara's belt buckle to pull them together.

"Mmhh, yes, ma'am."

She turned her head in for a kiss again and let her lips linger until Tara crossed her arms over her back to embrace her.

"I love you, Willow."

Willow inhaled the scent from Tara's skin and nuzzled against her neck.

"I love you, Tara."

She kissed up Tara's neck to her cheek, then linked their fingers together and pulled her towards the door.

Their hands swung between them as they walked down the hallway and out into the nippy early-morning air.

"Are you cold?" Willow asked, squeezing Tara's hand to give her some warmth, "You can have my sweater too."

Tara shook her head, her face visible under the street lights that were still illuminated.

"Well if you are, just ask," Willow continued, feeling even more protective of Tara than she normally did, "Really, anything. If you need anything, I'll get it."

Tara bumped her hip lightly against Willow's.

"Just need you."

Willow smiled and dropped Tara's hand to wrap her arm around her waist.

"Well I'm not going anywhere."

Tara settled her head on Willow's shoulder as they walked.

"Promise?"

"Promise," Willow assured, tenderly kissing the top of Tara's head, "And you know I'd never break one of those."

They arrived, smiling, at their tree; some blue peeking out through the twilight sky.

"Perfect timing," Willow commented, sitting back against the tree and opening her arms for Tara.

Tara sat between Willow's legs and leaned back against her. She felt Willow's hands move to rest on her stomach and closed her eyes to savour how perfect it all felt.

"This is the happiest moment of my life."

Willow rested her chin on Tara's shoulder.

"So far," she replied, nuzzling her nose into Tara's ear, "I'm going to do everything I can to fill your life with happy moments. You can count on that."

Tara glanced sideways to catch Willow's eye.

"My whole life?"

"Your whole life," Willow whispered back, kissing Tara's ear, "If you'll have me."

Tara kept her gaze, then slowly smiled.

"Let me get back to you."

Willow laughed loudly.

"I like this teasey-Tara," she said, wiggling happily as the sun began to rise over the horizon, "Isn't it amazing how air molecules and airborne particles scatter sunlight as it passes through the Earth's atmosphere and produce…that?"

Tara watched the bursting colours reveal themselves.

"You don't have to look far to see real beauty."

Willow smiled silently and pecked Tara's cheek.

"Yeah that sounds about right," she said tenderly, then smiled when a leaf fell in front of them, "I love our tree."

Tara felt Willow begin to play with her fingers and smiled.

"It's the second best thing to our bed."

Willow laced her fingers through Tara's and turned her head curiously.

"Our bed?"

"Definitely our bed," Tara answered without hesitating, "It's been ours since the first night you stayed over."

Willow smiled again.

"I like that. Our bed."

"I want everything to be ours," Tara replied, her tone turning into a mix of hopeful nervousness, "Our bathroom… our closet… our dresser… our room."

Willow's hand stilled as she took in what Tara was saying.

"Tara? Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

Tara's heart was beating faster, but her tone remained calm.

"If you think I'm asking you to move in with me."

Willow would have jumped up and danced if holding Tara hadn't been such a wonderful alternative and turned her girlfriend around to drop happy kisses all over her face.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! This is the happiest moment of my life."

Tara just smiled as Willow had earlier.

"So far."


	20. Chapter 20

**GnomeGirly** – Yes, lots of fluff! I like my fics cotton candy-esque! Glad you're enjoying it :)

**Queenphoenix08** – Oh thank you, I'm super glad you enjoyed it :)

**StephenPG** – Nope, it's one I found. Fast forward a few years and you'll see they had it at their wedding! Haha, let's hope the noise violations are few and far between. And it's most definitely the start of a happily ever after!

**Btvsobsessed623** – I have no idea what you're talking about…that scene happened and then they all

lived happily ever after. Only reality I accept. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter :)

**CurlyAkemy** – Not at all, I think it's such a sweet poem too, that's why I used it for the wedding (and this!) Glad you liked the chapter!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Becky…yes, probably :P That's her style…although she may be shocked into silence for a while!

Everyone loves a teasy-Tara.

Yep, pretty much sums them up! Tara is such an introvert. We know she comes out of her shell, at least.

They have the most miraculous love.

* * *

"Tara? When can I, you know, move my stuff in?"

Tara stretched her toes out under the mattress, enjoying the post-coital tingle still running through her.

"Whenever you want."

Willow had wanted to run upstairs and throw everything into her suitcase then and there when Tara had first asked her to move in, but with it still being the wee hours of the early morning had decided it was a bad idea.

She definitely hadn't objected to how the rest of their morning had gone - the chaste kiss they shared outside the door as they returned from watching the sunrise, which turned into pushing each other through the door and into bed; the clothes they had pulled from one another and left in various piles on the floor; the soft moans from each of them as they discovered more of the other or the afterglow cuddling they were still engaged in.

She couldn't have imagined a better way to spend the morning, but with her mind settling out of its lust-filled haze, she was eager to really be able to call the place 'hers' as much as she knew she could call Tara that.

"I'm not trying to be all mega with the pushy, but…really, really want to be officially moved in."

Tara turned her head towards Willow and opened her eyes with a lazy smile.

"You're not being pushy, I'm the one who asked."

Willow's lips quirked up and tinged with hope.

"So I could get started…now?"

Tara reached up and caressed the curve of Willow's ear.

"You should to talk to Becky."

Willow blinked a couple of times, slowly, having completely forgotten about her roommate.

"Right. I completely forgot."

Tara let her hand fall down Willow's shoulder to her arm, misinterpreting the look on her face.

"Are you sad?"

Willow just smiled softly.

"I'm feeling a lot of things right now but sad isn't one of them," she replied, catching Tara's hand to link their fingers, "Becky was a great roommate, but I don't want a roommate anymore. I want to live with my girlfriend."

Tara pressed their palms together.

"You don't have to move right awa–"

"Yes I do," Willow cut her off, then blushed, "I mean, if that's still okay."

Tara smiled.

"Of course it is."

Willow brought their hands up to kiss Tara's knuckles, then broke the embrace.

"I'll call her and arrange to meet so we can plan our day," she said, secretly hoping it involved as much closeness and nakedness as they had right then, "Do you know where my cell phone is?"

Tara shook her head.

"When did you last see it?"

"Um, it was in my pocket when I came over yesterday…" Willow replied, then grinned a tiny grin, "You're the one who took my pants off."

Tara blushed and hid her face behind the sheet, then leaned over to where she thought she'd thrown Willow's pants the night before.

Willow very much enjoyed the view of her girlfriend's wiggling butt as she searched the floor, then had to quickly look away as Tara straightened back up and offered her the phone.

"Fell under the bed."

"Thanks," Willow replied, doing her best to calm her flushing cheeks and find Becky's number, though it wasn't helped as Tara began to draw circles on her thighs, "Baby, stop for a sec, Willow-brain isn't functioning."

Tara stilled her hand but didn't take it away. Willow took a moment of clarity to connect the call and held the phone to her ear.

"Hi Becky… yeah, it's me… hey, are you free at all today? Just wanna talk about something… you're in the room right now? Okay, um, well I'm with Tara, so… oh… oh, okay… see you in a few then? Okay, bye."

She pressed the button to end the call when she heard the dial-tone on the other end.

"She's doing something this afternoon so now's a good time," she said, beginning to nervously bite at the skin around her thumb, "Some time to think about what I was going to say would be helpful."

She felt Tara start to gently rub her back and leaned back into it gratefully.

"Hey, I'm in love with Tara and for some insanely lucky reason, she loves me too so we're shacking up! Hope you're happy for me, bye!"

Tara wrapped her arms around Willow's shoulders from behind and leaned down to give her a squeeze.

"She's your best friend. Just talk to her."

Willow exhaled a soft breath, then smiled.

"Yeah. You're right," she replied, leaning over to kiss a spot of Tara's arm that was close, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Tara answered promptly, "Can I walk you to your door? I won't stay and muscle in on your time or anything."

"Of course you can," Willow replied, happily rocking from side to side in Tara's embrace, "More Tara-time is always of the good."

She stayed like that a moment, then sighed dramatically as she stood to dress.

"Eurgh. Clothes again. I don't think I can do this every day, you know!"

Tara was taking full advantage of her chance to watch a wiggling Willow, but saw a flaw in the plan.

"We both have class on Monday."

Willow looked over her shoulder from where she was gathering clothes and pouted.

"That's alllll of today and alllll of tomorrow away. I don't want to think about it yet."

Tara watched Willow jump around from closet to dresser, appreciating every line and curve she was witness to.

"Okay, sweetie."

Willow sensed eyes on her and looked over, then blushed under the gaze. She left the pair of brightly-coloured socks down with her as-brightly-coloured t-shirt and walked back over. She climbed on top of Tara to straddle her, then leaned down so their noses were touching.

"Now this is something I'm happy to think about," she said, pressing kisses along Tara's jaw, "Very… very… happy."

Tara let herself enjoy a whole minute of Willow-kisses before gently pushing her away.

"You have to talk to your friend."

Willow leaned her head down against Tara's shoulder and sighed again.

"Stop being all reality-girl," she said, kissing the tender patch of skin where Tara's neck met her shoulder, "Okay, okay, I'll go wash up."

She left Tara with a parting kiss and got her clothes again, then disappeared into the bathroom. Tara stretched out for another minute or two, then decided to get up and dressed herself. Willow came back out, washed and dressed, a few minutes later and pouted when she saw Tara clothed and waiting.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate clothes?"

Tara lips quirked up on one side.

"Once or twice."

Willow smiled back sheepishly and offered her hand.

"At least I can have hand-holdy goodness," she said brightly, "You ready?"

Tara took her hand and Willow led them from the room, upstairs.

"This is the last time I'll walk in here as 'my room'," Willow said, happy to find that didn't sadden her in the least, "And as nice a room as it's been, I couldn't be happier."

They stopped outside the door, but Tara was reluctant to part their hands.

"I guess this is where I leave you," she said, leaning over to peck Willow's lips.

"I won't be long," Willow promised, going back for another kiss.

"Take your time," Tara replied genuinely, then went in again.

Willow had her key ready in the door but was enjoying the back and forth kisses too much to stop. She very slowly turned it until the door unlocked and opened, when Tara pulled away shyly.

"See you soon."

"Very," Willow nodded, kissing her again.

"Very," Tara agreed, offering another demure kiss.

They shared a final soft kiss until Tara finally pulled away, offered a shy wave to Becky, who was looking at them in amusement from her bed, and walked away.

Willow slumped against the doorframe to watch her leave, which seemed to amuse Becky more.

"What's with the canoodling?"

Willow smiled dreamily.

"She's amazing, why wouldn't I kiss her?"

Becky's eyebrow quirked.

"Alright, then what's with the smiling?"

Willow sighed as the last view of Tara's behind went out of view, then she closed the door.

"She's amazing, why wouldn't I be smiling?"

Becky watched Willow's demeanour in fascination. She was sure her friend's ear-to-ear smile would cause lockjaw if it went on long enough, and there was a bounce to her somewhat-funny step, not to mention a glowing sheen over her skin.

She dropped the magazine she'd been reading on her bed and chuckled.

"You know if I didn't know any better I'd say you got laid."

Willow averted her gaze and began to nervously toy with her hands in front of her. Becky noticed straight away and shot up on the bed.

"Oh my god. Did you?!"

Willow stumbled wordlessly over speaking for a moment.

"No," she finally answered definitively, then perched gingerly on the side of her – though she didn't consider it that anymore – bed.

"You didn't?" Becky asked, thinking she wasn't getting the full story.

"No I didn't," Willow replied, not liking the crassness of the phrase after all she shared with Tara, "But... we did make love."

"Oh my god!" Becky shouted, not getting the difference, "Tell me everything!"

Willow shook her head.

"No. It's private."

Becky threw her hands up exasperatedly, wanting to be privy to what she considered juicy gossip.

"Then why did you want to talk to me about 'something'?!"

Willow rubbed her palms on her jeans, nervous as to how Becky would take the news.

"Well, she sorta asked me something," she replied, then looked away at the 'get on with it' look Becky shot back, "To, well, to move in with her. So we could be all with the live-y. And stuff."

Becky settled back down on her bed, all at once realising this wasn't 'gossip', this was her best friend's life.

"Wow. What did you say?"

Willow smiled softly.

"How quick can I move my stuff down?"

Becky smiled warmly at her friend, then turned it into a grin.

"Was I that horrible a roommate?"

Willow recognised the teasing tone and grinned back, shaking her head.

"No. No, you were great. You are great. The greatest friend I've ever had. I couldn't have asked for a better roommate."

"Except Tara," Becky replied wryly.

Willow wrapped her arms around herself, as if remembering Tara's warmth.

"She's not my roommate. She's my…everything."

Becky just smiled; she would normally find someone saying something like that gag-worthy, but who was she to deny the smile on Willow's face?

"I couldn't be happier for you. Really."

Willow seemed delighted at that and rushed over to give Becky a hug, who embraced back, then grinned.

"You smell like sex."

Willow jumped a foot back and pulled the collar of her shirt up to sniff.

"I washed–" she started defensively before noting the grin, "Haha, very funny."

"I've been told I'm hilarious," Becky replied with a faux-smug flip of her hair, "Are you moving your stuff out now?"

"Is that okay?" Willow asked, obviously eager.

"Honestly, Willow, you were the greatest roommate too… but I have been very much enjoying having this place be Casa Del Becky for the past couple of months," Becky replied, lying back down on her bed and sighing luxuriously, "Sorry…I'm just thinking of all the glorious sleep I'm going to continue to not be disturbed from."

Willow rolled her eyes but was happy Becky had responded so positively to her news.

"So are you going to help me pack?"

Becky leapt back up and made a beeline for the door.

"Sorry… I have a thing… with the person… at the place."

Willow just smiled; she knew Becky wasn't the world's best packer.

"Tara said she'd help anyway."

"Well on that note, before I'm subjected to more of the sickly sweet love birds…" Becky replied, then reached out to squeeze both of Willow's cheeks, "My little Willow is all grown up."

Willow swatted Becky's hands away and rubbed her cheeks. Becky laughed, then gestured broadly around Willow's tidy, but jam-packed side of the room.

"If you really need help…"

Willow turned her chin up in faux indignation.

"I can do without your whining and moaning thank you very much."

Becky grinned.

"Oh so it's only Tara's moaning you want now?"

Willow's eyes went wide.

"Don't ever say anything like that to her. I'm serious."

Becky sighed.

"You guys are no fun."

Willow crossed her arms over her chest.

"We're plenty of fun!"

Becky quirked her eyebrow conspiringly.

"Oh yeah?"

Willow's eyes narrowed.

"Tricky, Becky. You're not getting any details. Now scoot."

"Kicked out of my own room," Becky shook her head, though was still smiling playfully, "You're lucky I was heading out for lunch anyway!"

"Yeah, yeah," Willow replied with another roll of her eyes, then smiled again, "Thanks, Beck. Really."

Becky leaned against the door.

"I'm going to say something, and you're never going to repeat it ever again," she said, and Willow nodded in agreement, "You guys make me believe in love. Never said that, bye!"

She pulled the door open and left in barely a second flat, Willow beaming and giddy. She went over to sit on her bed and picked the phone up, dialling down to Tara's room.

"Hey, baby," she said lovingly, twirling the phone cord in her finger, "I told Becky and she's really happy but skirted the packing duties… Do you wanna come up and help me get everything – great, okay see you in a minute, I love you!"

She hung up and went to open the door, which Tara appeared at just a few seconds later, having clearly rushed up.

"Hi," Willow greeted, leaning in for a peck, then lingered.

Tara shuffled closer and was about to cross her arms over Willow's neck, when she heard a low, male voice from the side, dripping with hormones.

"That's hot."

She pulled away and looked down, embarrassed, while Willow offered the zit-faced teen a glare and brought Tara inside, then closed the door so they were alone.

"I bet he's never even touched a girl," she said with a roll of her eyes, then clapped her hands together, "So, I have a few luggage bags we can fill my stuff with, and I'll carry down the heavier stuff like my CD player and toaster oven and stuff one by one. Hey, now you won't have to go to the yucky student kitchen to make toast anymore! Not that there's anything wrong with that! Just, you know, easier."

Willow worried she'd offended her but Tara just smiled.

"Do you want to pack as we go or get everything out first and then pack it?"

Willow smiled back and stepped towards her.

"I don't know, what do you think?"

Tara looked around.

"Well, if we pack as we go, then you'll know where everything is. Like one bag for closet things, one for dresser, one for desk."

"You're a genius!" Willow replied, taking her cheeks and giving her a long smooch, then bounced away excitedly to haul her luggage out, "Okay, closet first!"

She threw the doors and started grabbing things haphazardly until Tara came over and showed her how to fold over the hangers. She smiled sheepishly but copied the action for the rest of the contents.

It took less than an hour for them to get the three bags filled to the bursting point with all of Willow's clothes and accessories, and to pile her electronics at the door, ready to bring down.

"It looks so bare," she said as the rolled up her Spock poster and tied a rubber band around it.

"Do you want some time?" Tara asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Willow put her hand on the wall and did a slow walk around until she was next to Tara and sat down.

"You know the only thing I regret?" she asked, spreading her hands out behind her on the mattress, "That this bed didn't see any action."

Tara's smile faltered and she averted her gaze to the side. It took Willow a moment to realise how she'd been interpreted.

"Oh, no, no, I didn't mean with someone else!" she clarified quickly, then tacked on sheepishly, "That was me being dumb and trying to get a kiss."

Tara looked back up, flushing at her misunderstanding and offered a smile.

"Can I give you a hug?" Willow asked, shuffling a little closer, "And not just 'cause it makes our boobs squish together?"

Tara's blush and smile increased and she closed her arms around Willow.

"Mmhh, you give the best boob-squishies," Willow said, squeezing back before quickly clearing her throat, "Hugs. I meant hugs."

Tara dropped her hands to the small of Willow's back and grazed her fingertips over the small line of skin between her shirt and pants, then playing with a loose thread shyly. She couldn't get enough of Willow's skin and was quickly finding it to be a hinder to any rational thought.

"You know, I'd hate for you to have a regret."

Willow's eyes went wide over Tara's shoulder, and she slowly pulled back to meet her gaze. She tenderly cupped her girlfriend's cheek and brushed their lips together, happy if that is all Tara was willing to give, but her heart quickened when she felt an insistent tug on her shirt.

If Tara said it was on, she was right there with her.

She eagerly started to push Tara down with her body.

"Will we fit?" Tara asked, Willow already demonstrating it was possible.

"We'll snuggle in tight."

Tara accepted the welcome weight of Willow atop her but cast a wary glance towards the door.

"Becky–"

"She'll probably be gone all day to avoid packing," Willow interrupted, her eyes eager before softening, "We don't have to do anything."

Tara could feel Willow's thigh pressing into her, and though she could tell it was inadvertent on her girlfriend's part, it was causing her decision-making to stem from an area further south than her brain.

She crossed her arms around Willow's neck and brought her down for a deep kiss.

Decision made.

Willow's hands slid onto Tara's waist and pushed her sweater up enough to get a tantalising brush of skin. She turned them in to caress her girlfriend's stomach until she felt that insistent tug again.

She sat back and made an awkward pull at her shirt, but Tara's hands were there already, deftly unbuttoning upwards.

"You are getting _very _good at that," Willow giggled, impressed at the speed.

Tara blushed but didn't let up, swiftly pushing Willow's shirt over her shoulders. Her hands gently fell to Willow's collarbone, and she lifted herself up to kiss a trail following the curve of her girlfriend's bra, around her breasts.

Willow's tilted her neck back with a content sigh, enjoying the soft kisses around the tops of her breasts. She reached for the base of Tara's shirt and pulled it from her skirt, then raised it over her head.

Tara lifted her arms to help and blushed again.

"You're so cute when you blush," Willow said, kissing each of her cheeks.

Tara smiled shyly.

"Then I'm going to be super cute when you take my skirt off."

"Why are you shy?" Willow asked, running her fingers along Tara's bra straps, "You're so beautiful."

She gently pushed the straps from Tara's shoulders and kissed each spot where they had been.

"And sexy."

She fluttered her gaze up to meet Tara's, then pressed a feather-light kiss into her neck.

"Before we were… intimate… when we'd be kissing… I'd get so scared you'd see how turned on I was," she whispered, dropping one hand to press her palm against Tara's nipple poking out through the fabric of her bra, "Did you get turned on?"

Tara was getting turned on there and then.

"I-I wasn't sure what… but I felt it when you touched me… or looked at me… or–"

Willow cut her off with a smouldering kiss, but only let it last a few seconds.

"Kissed me," Tara finished breathlessly, bringing her face close to Willow's again, "Kiss me."

Willow was never one to deny a request from Tara and took her lips again eagerly. Her hands slid over her girlfriend's shoulders again and caressed her back until she felt material again and snapped the hooks of Tara's bra free.

"Hey, I did it from the back!" she said, pulling away excitedly.

Tara smiled affectionately.

"Well done."

Willow knew from anyone else that would be patronising, but it was nothing but genuine coming from Tara. She smiled softly, but was almost immediately distracted as Tara's bra fell to the bed.

"There is definitely an incentive to working on that skill!"

She circled Tara's nipple to get that moan she loved, then captured Tara's lips again to satisfy the clench she felt when she heard it.

They fell back to the bed and Tara used her impressive speed skills to rid Willow of her bra.

"I swear you could do that at Olympic level," Willow giggled, doing a little wiggle as their naked breasts pressed together.

"But I don't want to do it to anyone but you," Tara replied, brushing some hair from Willow's face before resuming their kiss.

Willow used the availability of Tara's skin under her skirt to give slow caresses from her girlfriend's knees to her thighs until she was pushing against her panties. Tara gasped quietly as she felt Willow's fingers through the fabric.

"Tara, you feel so good," Willow whispered, trailing kisses along Tara's jaw.

Tara eagerly lifted her hips when she felt a clawing at her panties and helped shake herself free of her skirt when Willow began grabbing at it. Willow jumped off the bed once finally discarding Tara's skirt and started to try and free herself of her own pants.

She tugged and twisted at her belt, but her shaking hands were giving her difficulty in freeing it.

"Dammit!"

Tara covered herself with the sheet and sat up, gently reaching forward and releasing the belt with one quick movement.

"And the gold for undressing goes to Tara Maclay," Willow replied sheepishly as her pants fell around her ankles, "How does it feel for all your extensive training to pay off?"

Tara took a hold of Willow's hips softly.

"It helps when you love what you do," she replied, looking up with a tender smile, "And who you're doing it with."

Willow smiled giddily.

"Stop making my heart do the jump thingy."

Tara leaned in and pressed a kiss above Willow's hipbone. Willow's breath quickened as more kisses followed, then closed her hand over Tara's and used it to push on the waistband of her panties.

Tara pulled the fabric down as Willow was encouraging and dropped her kisses a little lower, brushing over her mound.

Willow felt a flood flow between her legs, and unable to control herself, fell forwards on top of Tara so they landed in a tangled heap of sheets and limbs.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" she asked breathlessly and got a silent answer in the form of a kiss.

Tara crossed her arms behind Willow's neck to pull their mouths as close together as possible. She felt Willow's hand greedily cup her breast before moving down to her hip and slide inwards.

Her neck strained back, breaking the kiss, as Willow inched closer and closer. She let her hands fall down Willow's spine as her legs instinctively spread.

Soft gasps rose from her throat, her hands tightening in the small of Willow's back, until warm fingers were gliding into her folds.

"Willow," she whispered throatily, followed by a low moan.

"Is it good like this?" Willow asked quietly, gently rubbing her fingers back and forth on Tara's clit.

"Yes," Tara breathed, lifting her head, intending to kiss Willow's neck.

Her eyes fluttered open and she was greeted with a creamy expanse of Willow-skin, but something caught her peripheral vision.

She blinked and slowly glanced away from Willow's neck. She noticed the open door first, surprised to see the wallpaper of the hallway behind it, then all at once recognised Becky standing by it, holding a plastic container and body rigid in shock.

Tara jumped in surprise and grabbed the sheets above them, yanking it over her head to hide. Willow's brow creased in confusion, but it turned into a smile.

"Are we playing a game?" she asked with a giggle, trying to get her hands in under the sheet, "I'm gonna find you!"

She was about to begin a tickle assault when she too caught the glimpse in the corner of her eye. She yelped and yanked the available sheet further over herself when she saw who was there.

"Jesus Christ!"

Becky moved for the first time since walking in on the unexpected scene, her face furrowing.

"You're Jewish."

Willow gaped and began to gesticulate wildly.

"Becky, close the damn door!"

Becky snapped to attention and quickly closed the door, not before a couple of people had poked their heads in, then leant back against it. Willow stared at her, wide-eyed.

"With you on the other side!"

Becky bent one arm against her hip.

"Hey, this is my room no–"

"Get out, get out!" Willow interrupted with a yell.

Becky followed orders that time and quickly scurried out, banging the door shut behind her. Willow hung her head in her hands for a minute before turning back towards Tara.

"Tara, she's gone. Are you okay?" she asked gently, finding Tara's shoulder over the sheet, "She didn't see anything, I promise. I was covering you and the sheet was over me…my butt anyway. There may have been a little back-viewage. But roommates, seen it before."

Tara remained silent and motionless.

"Tara?" Willow asked again, slumping when she got nothing.

She shuffled over to the side and picked Tara's clothes from the ground, offering them to her.

"Here's your clothes."

Tara reached out from under the sheet and grabbed her clothes, then started to hurriedly throw them on while still covering herself.

"Tara?" Willow ventured again, her heart breaking when Tara again ignored her, her voice dropping vulnerably, "Do you want me to put my stuff back?"

Tara's hand stilled from buttoning her sweater and she looked over her shoulder to Willow.

"What? No."

Willow looked up, on the verge of tears.

"You wouldn't look at me."

Tara turned guiltily and offered her hand.

"Oh, Willow, I'm sorry. I-I'm just so embarrassed."

Willow took Tara's hand and clung to it.

"No, I'm sorry, I forced–"

"I was the one who pushed it," Tara cut her off, not wanting Willow to beat herself up.

Willow's eyes creased.

"I really didn't think she'd be back."

Tara nodded understandingly.

"I don't blame you."

"She really didn't see anything," Willow tried to reassure, only for Tara to look down, "I'm sorry, I wish I could make it better."

She gave Tara's hand a squeeze, then started to throw her own clothes on too.

"Let me throw these sheets in my laundry bag and we can head downstairs, okay?"

Tara nodded and shied away to the corner of the room. Willow stuffed her sheets in the laundry bag, leaving her side of the room well and truly bare, then walked over to Tara, taking her hand gently.

"We'll laugh about this in a couple of years," she said, trying to lighten the mood.

Tara wasn't sure. She couldn't imagine ever finding the situation funny.

But she definitely liked the thought of years with Willow.


	21. Chapter 21

**Graq the Wild Child 2 **– And Willow and Tara (in my stories) have a habit of getting walked in on too, so it was bound to happen :P I really believe in their love and try to write it as I feel it…good luck with your angst fics, W/T fic is always a good thing, but I stopped reading fanfic at all because I couldn't handle some of the drama :P

**Emerald Demona** – Yep, the trend had to start somewhere :P

**Queenphoenix08** – Hehe, glad you got a giggle. Tara will get over it, don't worry. And yes, there is definitely less worry, though you never know what might happen… :)

**CurlyAkemy** – Don't worry, I'm sure Willow will find a way to distract Tara ;)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Bad speechless? Don't worry, it's fixed quick :P

* * *

"You sure you're okay?"

Tara nodded, having recovered from the initial shock and embarrassment of being walked in on. Willow looked relieved and gestured to the luggage, eager to forget and get on with the exciting prospect of moving in.

"We can wheel a piece each and then figure out the heavy stuff, okay?"

Tara nodded again and took a hold of the handle on one the bags. Willow grabbed the other and opened the door for them to leave, but they both stopped short when Becky was leaning against the wall opposite.

There was an awkward lull for a moment before Becky pushed off.

"I, um, got you guys a cake," she said, offering the plastic container she had in her hands, "To say congratulations."

Willow exchanged a glance with Tara, then stepped forward.

"Thank you, Becky. That was really nice of you."

"That's very sweet," Tara agreed, although quietly as she hung back.

Becky shuffled a little on the spot.

"I didn't see anything," she spoke up, just as uncomfortable as them at witnessing such a private moment, "I really don't want things to be weird."

Willow took Tara's hand between them.

"We don't either."

"Forget it happened?" Becky asked, shoving the cake in Willow's face again.

Willow glanced to Tara again, who offered a shy nod.

"Forget it happened," Willow nodded again with a smile, accepting the cake.

"Well, hey, let me help you with the moving stuff," Becky replied, then grinned, "You guys looked like you already got your workout."

Tara flushed and Willow promptly kicked Becky in the shin, who grabbed her ankle and started jumping around.

"Okay, okay, jeez, no jokes. I'll follow with your toaster oven, okay?"

Tara was already marching ahead, cheeks still red. Willow shot Becky a glare, then rushed after her.

"Not funny yet, huh?"

Tara kept her gaze down.

"Be careful on the stairs," Willow said as they neared them, "And I love you."

Tara looked over her shoulder.

"I love you too."

Willow beamed, that was enough for her, and carefully walked alongside Tara down the stairs.

They dropped the bags into their room and Willow held the door open for Becky who was just behind them, then together, all three managed to negotiate most of the electronics down.

"Last thing," Willow said as she picked up her CD player, while Becky grabbed the speakers and remote.

Tara had already left with the electric kettle.

"You're officially moved out," Becky replied, looking in on the half-empty room.

Willow grinned giddily.

"I'm officially living with my girlfriend."

"And I have the room to myself!" Becky replied, just as giddy, "At least until next year…I hope my new roommate doesn't like to get up at the crack of dawn too."

Willow stuck her tongue out.

"I hope she picks her toenails and only showers once a week."

Becky just smiled.

"Love you too, Will," she chuckled, "Oh, my mom called this morning. She was wondering if you were coming home with me again this summer. She said you're always welcome."

Willow was caught a little dumbstruck.

"Oh. Um, I hadn't thought about it," she replied, brow creasing, "I-I don't know what Tara does…I know she doesn't go home."

"Things ugly on the parental front for her too?" Becky asked.

"Um, yeah," Willow replied, not about to get into it, "Tell your mom thanks so much, and I'll miss her crazy misspent youth stories…but I'll ask Tara what she's doing and do my darndest to plan around her."

Becky smiled again.

"Sure thing. Now let's go, this thing is heavy."

Willow smiled back and they did the final trip back downstairs, leaving the CD player down on the bed.

"Do you want some cake?" Willow asked, eyeing the creamy delight still sitting in its container.

Another 'regular workout' joke was on the tip of Becky's tongue, but she wisely kept it to herself.

"No thanks, I have some new jeans I want to squeeze into for going out tonight."

Willow nodded and smiled.

"Well thanks for all the help. And sorry, uh…"

Tara turned away and busied herself with wiping down the dresser to hide her blush. Willow noticed and shot Becky a 'you-seriously-better-not-mention-this-to-her-again' look, then gave her a quick hug.

"I'll still see you around?" Becky asked, heading for the door.

"Uh huh, of course," Willow nodded, "Maybe we could all have a girlie night in some time."

Becky seemed agreeable.

"Sure, that sounds good. And I'm super happy for you two."

"We are too!" Willow replied, bouncing over to put her arm around Tara's waist.

Tara blushed again, but it was for nicer reasons this time, and offered Becky a wave.

"Thanks for helping."

"No problem," Becky replied, waving back, "Bye, lovebirds!"

She shut the door behind her as she left, and Willow turned to Tara, took her hands and jumped up and down.

"I'm moved in!"

Tara smiled, finding Willow's excitement infectious.

"We have to unpack still."

Willow looked around at her things sitting on various places around the floor.

"Right. I've kinda taken over your room."

"Our room," Tara corrected with a soft smile.

"Our room," Willow answered, smiling ear-to-ear, "I don't know where to start."

"Well, we can start with the dresser bag," Tara replied, hoisting it over to them.

Willow nodded and unzipped it, taking everything out and arranging it in piles on the bed. She noticed Tara doing the same from the things in her dresser.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking my things out so we can put everything back together," Tara answered with a smile.

"Oh," Willow replied, grinning eagerly at the thought of their things so enmeshed, "Great."

They both piled their things up until the bag and the dresser were empty.

"We have the same size feet, do you mind sharing socks?" Tara asked, ready to mix the two piles together.

"Nope!" Willow replied giddily, loving the idea of Tara wearing her socks and she wearing Tara's for some reason.

She helped Tara move their new conjoined sock collection into one of the drawers, then regarded the rest of the clothing.

"What next?"

"Well bras and panties are different sizes," Tara mused, "And I don't want to stretch out any of your t-shirts."

Willow started to move some of her sleeping clothes to join with Tara's.

"All my pjs are big on me, we could share those too."

Tara brought them over to the dresser and packed them in.

"So everything else – yours in the front, mine in the back?"

"Works for me!" Willow replied happily.

They transferred their clothing to the dresser until the bed was clear again, then repeated the same procedure for the closet. Most of the electronics sat at the base of the closet so they could take them out as needed.

"Where can I put this?" Willow asked, holding up a circular glass ornament as she sorted out the few knick-knacks left.

"Wherever you want, sweetie, it's your room," Tara replied with an affectionate smile.

Willow bounced on the balls of her feet, hyper, and left the snow globe on top of the dresser. She went back to the bag and picked up the last thing in there, a photo frame with the picture taken at her birthday party, something she'd found wrapped up from Becky on her bed after running away from Tara's the couple of nights before.

"This needs to go right here," she said, leaving in on the nightstand by what had become her side of the bed, angling it so it would face her going asleep, "So is this like… my nightstand now?"

"Uh huh," Tara nodded, "You can have it private, I won't look in."

Willow shook her head.

"Oh, that's okay, I'll probably just have a couple of books in there, and my journal. Oh, and my collection of pens, of course. Have to have those handy."

"Of course," Tara replied, smiling softly, "I didn't know you kept a journal."

Willow shrugged bashfully.

"I started when you showed me your mom's. I wanted to get all my wonderful Tara-moments on paper too."

Tara felt her heart swell with emotion and walked over to kiss Willow softly. Willow wrapped her arms over Tara's neck and kissed her back, then rested her head on her girlfriend's shoulder.

"That's it. All moved in and unpacked," she said, lifting her head again to show off her smile.

Tara nuzzled their noses together.

"It's never felt more like home."

"I've never had a home," Willow replied softly, moving her hand over Tara's heart, "'Til now."

She replaced her hand with her cheek and brushed her lips over Tara's skin. Tara felt something splash against her a moment later and looked down to see Willow teary.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just realised something silly," Willow replied, quickly wiping at her eyes.

Tara brought them over to the bed to sit down.

"I'm listening."

Willow shrugged, playing with her hands in her lap.

"It's just… I don't ever remember saying 'I love you'. I mean, I'm sure I did, when I was little. All kids do… but I learned before memory formed to stop saying it because I never had it said back. Frivolous emotion I guess when you're only ever treated like an accomplishment. Even my Bubbe… she was kind, warm even, and I know she loved me… but she never said it. She was stoic like that."

She stopped for a moment and closed her eyes before looking back up at Tara.

"Point is, those words never left my mouth until I met you," she continued, her hands twisting around themselves faster, "I don't know if you've picked up on it, but I'm kind of, sort of, really, totally serious about you. You've opened this whole new world for me, and I don't ever want to leave it. So I might get rambley sometimes, or things might slip out… and I'm not trying to scare you off… just think you should know… how much I love you. How much I'll always love you."

She trailed off a little lamely, and kicked herself when nothing but silence came back, but Tara eventually linked their fingers together.

"No nursing homes."

Willow blinked a couple of times, confused.

"Sorry?"

"When we're old and grey," Tara said with a soft, crooked smile, "No nursing homes. I want to spend my golden years at home, with you. You have to promise me."

Willow was completely confused for another moment before she realised what Tara was saying. She clenched her teeth to stop herself from letting out the well of emotion that erupted inside her.

"I promise, Tara," she replied, her voice choked but clear, "No nursing homes."

She embraced Tara again, taking in a long, shaky breath.

"I love you," she said warmly, pressing a kiss into Tara's neck, "Hey, how about some of that celebration cake now I'm all moved in?"

Tara nodded, so Willow went to retrieve the container and brought it back to the bed, sitting down again and folding her legs beneath her.

"It's Boston Cream Pie," she said excitedly, popping the lid off, "I love Boston Cream Pie."

"I think we used the last plastic knife last night," Tara replied, then smiled shyly at the memory.

Willow took one of the slices out and took a huge bite.

"ell I 'on't mind gegging a liggle messy," she said through a mouthful.

Tara smiled again and shook her head.

"You got it all over yourself," reaching out and wiping up the smears with her thumb, then licked it clean.

Willow's chewing slowed down as she watched Tara lick the frosting away, then swallowed and scooted over.

"You got some too," she said, though Tara's face was nothing but clear.

Tara wiped at her mouth, but Willow just shook her head.

"Uh uh, still there. Let me."

She leaned right in and kissed the corner of Tara's mouth, getting the supposed errant smear.

"Got it," she said, then 'accidentally' dabbed the cake in her hand against Tara's neck, "Whoops. Better get that too."

Tara realised what Willow was doing and offered a little more of her neck, then felt a smudge against her throat.

"Darn! I just can't control myself today," Willow said in mock-annoyance of herself, "I mean my hands keep slipping."

Her non-cake-holding hand dropped over Tara's clothed breast as her lips kissed up the frosting she'd left on her girlfriend's throat.

Tara felt her heart start to race and very much wanted to continued what they'd been interrupted from earlier. That thought sent a pang of embarrassment through her, but the feel of Willow's lips caressing was quickly quashing it.

She did have one concern though.

"Is the door locked?"

Willow understood the implication of the question and dropped the cake back in its container, then jumped up.

"I'll check," she said, rushing over to turn the lock in the door, then pulled the curtains across the window and bounced back over as she licked her fingers clean, "All secure, captain. Permission to come aboard?"

Tara giggled and shuffled over to give her more room. Willow jumped up onto the bed and sat near Tara, taking her hand.

"I'm not being pushy, am I?" she asked worriedly, "I mean, as tasty as this cake would taste from your body, it's okay if you want me to eat it off a plate."

Tara's cheeks turned crimson and Willow's matched as she realised what she'd said.

"I just mean, um, you know…I wanna…read with you, and watch TV with you and joke with you and talk with you and–"

"Eat cake off my body?" Tara asked, suppressing a grin.

Willow ducked her head and giggled at herself.

"I mean, it's on the list."

Tara brought a hand up to rub Willow's upper arm.

"Do you think that I think you just want sex from me now?"

"I hope not," Willow answered, looking up into Tara's eyes.

"I don't," Tara replied softly, curling the end of Willow's hair over her finger, "If anything, you might think that of me, the way I've been acting."

Willow turned her head in to kiss the finger playing with her hair.

"I love the way you've been acting."

"And I love you," Tara replied definitively without hesitation, "A-and I love being with you."

Willow smiled and nodded.

"Me too. I mean there's so much…the touching is wonderful, but the closeness, that's even better. And the heartbeat-y stuff. I love that. I'm probably being silly, but sometimes it feels like there's just one between us."

Tara lifted her hand from Willow's hair to her cheek, stroking gently with the back of her fingers.

"That's not silly."

She dropped her hand and let it rest over Willow's, then turned her head in to kiss her softly. They lay down together, Willow on her back with Tara on her side, locked at the mouth.

Tara brushed her hand over Willow's clothed breast, then continued down before slipping her hand under her girlfriend's shirt.

She could feel the taut muscles of Willow's stomach jumping in responce to her touch, which made her own muscles clench, though somewhere a little lower.

"Can I undress you?" she whispered, letting her hand rest on Willow's belt buckle.

"Definitely," Willow nodded quickly, already eagerly wiggling to be free of her jeans, "You're the expert."

She watched as Tara made the simple act of undoing a belt buckle look incredibly sexy and lifted her hips to help them be stripped from her. Her breathing became heavier as Tara ran her palms up her naked thighs to the waistband of her panties and again eagerly wiggled free.

She shivered as the air hit her heated core and was about to close her legs when Tara's hands on her thighs again made her want to very much keep them open.

Her eyes closed as she enjoyed feather-light caresses along her hips and stomach; loving how intimately and thoroughly Tara seemed to know her already. Soft gasps rose from her throat each time Tara popped a button on her shirt open.

She was so lost in sensation, she didn't realise she was completely naked until she felt lips pressing against her nipples.

She moaned and reached out for Tara, but was very displeased when her hands met fabric.

"Hey, you gonna even the score?" she asked, breathlessly and with a glint in her eye.

Tara sidled up so their faces were close.

"Are you?"

Willow could only nod and reach out blindly for Tara again, yanking and pulling at whatever material she felt before suddenly stopping with a frown.

Tara looked down at her panties half-way down her thighs and her shirt tugged out of her skirt, then blushed.

"W-what's wrong?"

Willow seemed to be completely stricken by something.

"You're like this supple, elegant, graceful…lioness. And I'm a bull in a china shop, running around and hoping I don't break you."

Tara's features softened and she moved down face-to-face again.

"You're my feisty tiger. Playful and wild."

Willow cracked a smile.

"Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz."

Tara blushed again and brought her hand to the nape of her neck.

"I feel a little wild when I'm with you. Exhilarated."

Willow felt Tara's breath hit her lips and closed her eyes to savour it.

"You always make me feel better."

Tara smiled softly.

"A lioness takes care of her mate."

Willow smiled too, feeling a thousand times better about herself and her grabby hands. She let their lips meet softly, but it turned heated in seconds. She encouraged Tara over her waist to straddle her and got on with the undressing, idly throwing Tara's clothes to the floor and not worrying if she was doing a 'messy' job of it anymore.

"Mmhh, let me look at you," she said as the final garment dropped, holding Tara by the waist, "I've been trying to figure out my favourite spot, but I can't. There's always a new inch of skin to discover."

Tara felt her shyness decreasing with every adoring look of Willow's eyes.

"I've never felt how you make me feel. Loved. Wanted."

Willow ran her fingers down Tara's arms.

"Well I'm glad I'm the one who got to rectify that," she replied, her gaze slowly making their way up, smiling when they reached the blue ones staring back, "C'mere."

Tara was hesitant to move her body weight down.

"I'm a lot heavier than you."

Willow just shook her head.

"I'll tell you if you are. Please."

Tara leaned down so their bodies were grazing but kept her weight on her hands. Willow decided that was okay for now and took her lips, kissing leisurely but deeply.

After several minutes, their kiss growing fevered, Tara pulled away and curved her palm around Willow's hip.

"Willow?"

"Yeah?" Willow asked, peppering Tara's face with lip caresses.

Tara ducked her head shyly.

"Can I give you a, um… special kiss. Like you gave me?"

Willow's lips stilled on Tara's cheeks, then her eyes went wide with a happy grin.

"Uh huh, yeah, definitely. I-If you want."

Tara looked in equal parts nervous and excited as she sat back between Willow's legs, but didn't make a further move. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"I-I don't know what to do."

"I didn't either," Willow reassured, "I just kissed you."

Tara recalled and couldn't help a shudder of delight remembering.

"I remember it getting a little French."

Willow smiled and sat up to put her hands on Tara's shoulders.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want."

Tara let out a shaky breath.

"I-I want to… just… big, bat-shaped butterflies."

Willow put her hand on Tara's stomach and gave it a gentle rub.

"I have a few of those too," she said, wanting to ease Tara's discomfort, "Want to feel good for you, taste good for you."

Tara's eyes went wide, thoughts that hadn't occurred to her before doing so now.

"Did I–?"

"I loved every part of…doing that," Willow interrupted before Tara could ask, smiling softly, "Every part."

Tara lifted her arm, scratching under her own ear.

"A-all these things I never even thought I had to worry about."

"Are you overwhelmed?" Willow asked softly, moving her hands to rub Tara's back, "We can cuddle. Let's cuddle."

She lay back down and brought Tara with her to curl into her side, then encouraged her girlfriend to rest her head under her chin. Tara relaxed as her ear rested over Willow's chest and she listened to her heartbeat.

The steady thumping, along with Willow's hands gently stroking up and down her back, quickly lulled her into slumber.

* * *

Tara nuzzled into the softness she felt as she woke up, realising as her eyes fluttered open that it was Willow's thigh. She blushed and lifted her head, smiling when she saw Willow sitting up alongside her, scribbling in her journal with her glasses firmly fixed over her face.

"I keep falling asleep on you," Tara said sleepily, scooting up and rubbing her eyes.

Willow looked over and smiled.

"You keep falling asleep beside me…" she corrected, then winked, "But I'd be very open to you falling asleep on me."

Tara ducked her head and blushed until she felt Willow's thumb stroking her cheek.

"You're very pretty when you sleep. Almost as pretty as when you're awake. That's only 'cause I can see your eyes."

Tara looked up and smiled, then pressed a kiss against Willow's cheek.

"You look really cute in those glasses."

Willow looked pleasantly surprised.

"I do?"

Tara nodded and turned her head in for a kiss, the plastic of Willow's glasses hitting her first. Willow scrunched up her nose, then pouted.

"They get in the way of kissing."

"I guess you'll just have to be my eye candy instead," Tara replied, then glanced down at Willow's journal, "I'm sorry, did I disturb you?"

Willow shook her head and picked up her pen again with a smile.

"I can write and talk."

She began scribbling again and Tara sank down a little in the bed, content to just be near her girlfriend, until she noticed something in front of her.

"Do you want to put your poster up?" asked, gesturing to where it was rolled up and leaning against the desk, "The man with the…ears, and um, hands."

She did her best clueless impression of the Vulcan salute, making Willow laugh.

"Spock?"

Tara shrugged, embarrassed at her lack of knowledge.

"Is he a TV character? Someone you have a crush on?"

"Spock?!" Willow repeating, cackling at the idea, "God no! I mean he's my favourite half-human/half-Vulcan, but that's about it. Not to mention a boy half-human."

Tara's brow creased.

"Half…Vulcan? The god of fire?"

"No, from Star Trek," Willow clarified, only to get another blank look, "You've never seen Star Trek?"

Tara was even more embarrassed not to know. Willow noticed and just smiled reassuringly.

"Well, it's a TV show. About… space. And there's a humanoid alien race called Vulcans, who live though reason and logic. And Spock is half-human/half-Vulcan," Willow explained, then did the Vulcan salute herself, "The hand thingy is a Vulcan salute. Live long and prosper. That's what they say."

Tara tried the hand movement again, and Willow lit up like a Christmas tree when she got it right.

"Hey, you did it!" she exclaimed happily, giving her a proud peck, "You sure I can put it up?"

Tara nodded.

"As long as it's not above the bed. I'm sure Mr. Spock is very nice but I'll have nightmares."

Willow laughed and closed her journal, leaving it back in the drawer of her nightstand. She was about to get out of bed to find a spot for 'Mr. Spock', but felt Tara's legs tangled up with hers and decided she was too comfy to move. She shuffled back down close and took Tara's hand above the sheet.

"Hey…what do you do in the summer?"

Tara linked their fingers securely.

"Summer? I stay here."

"In Boston?" Willow asked hopefully, "That's great… because, well, I don't go home obviously, and Becky's mom let me stay with them last year in Kansas, and she's super nice, unlike her jackass Dad and previous jackass step-dads… But, um, anyway, I sorta can't bear the thought of being away for you for so many months. Do you um, stay in a hostel? I could probably afford a motel if we found a cheap enough one, I mean, it wouldn't be luxury, but it would be private."

Tara smiled softly and shook her head.

"No, I stay on campus."

"On campus?" Willow asked, raising an eyebrow, "Not even Harry Potter could stay at Hogwarts during the summer."

Tara just about understood that reference, and only because she'd schooled up when one too many 'Hermione' references had flown over her head.

"The summer is when I do that admin work I told you about," she explained, "I get my living expenses stipend extended and they let me stay in the room in exchange for the work. Filing and sorting and doing the campus tours for prospective students."

"Oh," Willow replied, a little thrown by that development, "Well, um, I guess I can find a motel for myself."

Tara's lips turned down and she brushed a piece of hair from Willow's brow.

"You just moved in, you're moving out already?"

Willow perked up at little at that.

"Will they let me stay?"

Tara nodded.

"If you sign up for a class… you don't have to do a full coarse-load, just one… even something fun like photography."

Willow looked around.

"So where do you stay? Do you get to keep your room?"

Tara nodded again.

"It's the building they show off in the tours because it's the newest, so they never close it. The people doing summer classes move into the other rooms."

Willow smiled happily; this sounded like the best possible outcome to her predicament.

"Great. I'm in. In-y in in!"

Tara brightened considerably, thrown off by the idea of Willow leaving in a few short weeks.

"So you're staying?"

Willow threw her arms around Tara and kissed her lovingly.

"A summer with Tara sounds like the best summer ever."


	22. Chapter 22

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – I don't read at all anymore but I was always about the fluff…kudos to people who can manage to write drama well. And he had a human mother and Vulcan father :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – That's a very specific type of speechless :P I'm glad they don't annoy you, that's just my own personal comfort level for writing them. Haha! No sock sharing? I don't mind it…and don't let Willow hear you say that :P

**Queenphoenix08** – I have a few things planned for summer…hopefully with some sexy thrown in too!

* * *

Willow leisurely stretched her naked body under the sheet and wigged her toes against Tara's shin.

"Do you want to grab some dinner? I think they have the lasagne you like in the cafeteria today."

Tara pressed a soft kiss against Willow's shoulder blade.

"Are you very hungry?"

Willow shook her head.

"I can wait if you want to go for a walk or something."

Tara turned her head right into Willow's neck and brushed her lips over the delicate patches of skin.

"I still owe you a kiss."

Willow didn't catch the heavy tone and leaned over to peck Tara with a smile.

"There."

Tara smiled too, then let her hand fall down to brush over Willow's mound and back up again. Willow felt the heat pool in her belly, though it was accompanied by a churning as she realised Tara's meaning.

"Oh."

"I think those bats have taken shelter," Tara replied, half-climbing over her girlfriend to kiss her collarbone.

"Yeah, in my belly," Willow chuckled nervously and under her breath, then made a grab for her glasses, "Better take these off before they fog up."

She tossed them carelessly onto her nightstand and turned back to Tara.

"Y-You know you don't have to... know you were nervous..."

Tara kissed up to Willow's ear to whisper in it.

"I'm not nervous anymore."

Willow felt a surge between her legs as her girlfriend's hot breath hit her and had to claw the sheet when she felt her ear being lightly tongued; the sensation as stirring to her as if Tara was already between her legs.

"Y-You're not?"

"No, I'm very excited," Tara replied, lifting her head up enough to meet Willow's eye and breathe against her lips, "Are you excited?"

Willow just about exploded on the spot at seeing the look in Tara's eyes and instantly made a grab for and tried to flip her. Tara stopped her with a gentle push to her shoulders.

"I think I need to be on top."

"Right," Willow replied, smiling with nervous excitement, "Duh."

She lay down on her back again and waited for Tara to climb on top. She felt their thighs touch first, then stomachs and breasts as Tara settled.

She arched her back so they could be as close together as possible, then even more as Tara began to kiss down her throat. Her eyes fluttered closed as Tara kissed her delicate skin, and she enjoyed finding the ripples in her girlfriend's back as her hands roamed in their own search for skin.

She let her arms fall to her sides as Tara moved down her chest and towards her breasts.

She'd never thought much about her own breasts before; she'd noticed them on other girls if they'd been wearing low tops, was fascinated by their bounce and softness, had definitely been hyper-aware of Tara's whenever she was around, but never her own.

They'd had their short sprout during puberty and had just been there ever since, boring and unassuming.

But each time Tara touched and kissed her there, she felt her opinion of them changing.

They weren't inadequate swellings just sitting on her chest; they were part of her body. A body she'd given freely to Tara and had been made love to in return – it was the least she could do to try and like herself too.

What she could definitely like, and love, were the sparks of pleasure that shot through her belly when Tara's lips and tongue caressed her nipples.

Her back arched again into the touch and she looked down, catching a final glimpse of Tara's hair before her girlfriend disappeared under the sheet.

_Oh boy. Breathe. That thing where you put oxygen in your lungs. Breathe, breathe, breathe._

She took some steady breaths in and out as Tara's kisses dropped lower and lower. She could feel a constant pulsing already throbbing between her legs, which only seemed to get stronger as Tara drew near.

She was a little embarrassed at how wet she'd become and was trying not to let her thighs rub together to avoid an even more embarrassing squeak, but the point became moot just a second later when Tara's lips first pressed into her mound and that very sound left her mouth.

She clenched her teeth shut to try and trap it, hoping Tara couldn't hear from under the sheet. She managed to just let out a quieter, 'respectable' noise when she felt another kiss even lower, though was on the verge of squeakage again when Tara's kisses sped up, almost greedily and definitely hungry.

She moaned at the feel of Tara's lips exploring her and gently pushed her hips back in encouragement. Heat and pleasure stockpiled in her abdomen, rippling out slowly with each press into her flesh, until Tara kissed over her opening and let her tongue wiggle out.

"Holy crap!" she would have screamed had her teeth not been clenched, resulting in it coming out in a strained garble.

She dug her ankles right into the bed, afraid she'd lose control and accidentally kick Tara.

The hoard of pleasure in her belly pulsed out and was replaced each second, Tara's tongue dancing along her lips and hitting her most sensitive spots.

"Tara," she gasped almost inaudibly, a growing–familiar swell breaking inside her.

She gasped again, her toes curling right under themselves as the first wave washed over her, then straightened as her whole body grew taut with the final assault.

Tara was pleasantly surprised by the fresh surge of sweetness against her lips and let her tongue gather some of it up. She would have happily stayed there to lap for a while, but didn't want to hurt Willow if she was feeling sensitive.

She gave Willow's thigh a tiny, happy nuzzle, then started to scoot up again. Her head popped out of the sheet a moment later, hair frazzled and face wet with sweat and the leftovers of her exploration.

"It's hot under there," she said, puffing out a breath of air to blow away of piece of hair hanging in her brow, before tacking on hopefully, "Did I do okay?"

Willow turned her head, panting into the pillow for a moment, then back to Tara, trying to focus her glassy eyes. She reached towards her with a shaky hand, but it just flopped down to the bed again, lifeless.

She smiled.

"You're just full of surprise skills. You sure you've never done that before?"

Tara settled on her side beside Willow, propped up on her elbow.

"I've eaten a couple of mangoes before…" she replied shyly, "It kinda felt like that."

"Mangoes…" Willow replied, thoughtfully, thinking about sucking the fruit from a mango, the juices running down her chin and deciding it was an image that definitely worked, "Mangoes taste good."

Tara instinctively licked her lips, realising then she still had some moisture around her mouth and bashfully wiped at it.

"So do you," she said before having a chance to censor her thought and brought the sheet over her head as she turned bright red.

Willow blushed too but with a pleased smile and stretched out again.

"I just want to stay in this bed forever."

Tara took a moment to bask in her shame, then poked her head out and glanced at the clock.

"The cafeteria's closing soon."

Willow pouted a little and tried to lift her hand again, succeeding this time in connecting with Tara's arm.

"I could take you out for a real meal, you know."

Tara's gaze dropped and Willow gently retracted her hand.

"I'm sorry, I always have to stick my big foot in and make you uncomfortable."

Tara kept her gaze rooted on a spot on the sheet and idly drew a circle there with her finger.

"I just wish I could do something like that for you too. Give you something."

Willow visibly did a double-take.

"Give me something?" she asked, like it was the most alien concept she'd ever heard, "You gave me everything. Your room, and your heart and your love and–"

She started to feel herself get choked up and was unable to quash the lump of emotion in her throat.

"All I can offer is a stupid pasta dinner," she spat out, her eyes suddenly filling with tears as she turned away, "I'm sorry, it's been a really emotional 24 hours."

She jumped up before Tara had a chance to respond or even figure out what had happened, running into the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and started the shower a second later.

Tara was completely dumbfounded and wasn't quite sure what to do. She didn't want to invade Willow's space, but the thought of leaving her girlfriend uncomforted was worse to her, so she waited a couple of minutes, then made her way to the bathroom too.

Willow was standing under the shower head, palms flat on the wall in front of stretched out arms, her head hanging between them.

Tara put one hand on the sliding glass door. Willow looked up at the sound and turned.

Tara slid the door open just an inch, enough so she could be heard.

"I really upset you."

Willow shook her head, looking shamefaced.

"I didn't want you to see me cry," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm good, I'm fine."

Tara poked her head through the small gap she'd made.

"But this is our room, now, Willow. It doesn't all have to be 'good' and 'fine'. This is the room where you don't have to be brave. I still love you. If you're worried, you can be worried. If you're sad, you can be sad. If you're emotional, you can be emotional. All I want to do is give you a hug."

Willow's face crumbled and she weakly held her arms up to accept. Tara quickly slid the door open and stepped in to hug her.

"I cried a little last night," she said softly, the warm water hitting them both, "Do you think less of me?"

"No, not at all," Willow replied genuinely, then smiled sheepishly, "Like I said…emotional 24 hours."

Tara nodded understandingly.

"Yeah, it has been," she replied, smoothing out Willow's eyebrows affectionately, "You don't have to run away from me."

Willow took in a soft breath and rested her cheek on Tara's shoulder.

"Stop being so perfect," she said, turning her head to kiss a water drop from Tara's skin, "I love you."

Tara left a tender kiss on top of Willow's head and just held her for a few moments. Willow cuddled right in before finally giving a soft sigh and reached for the bottle of shower gel.

"Better get soaped up before the Mr. Evil Water Heater Timer kicks in."

She squirted some into her hands, then passed the bottle off.

They attended to their own washing lest they get distracted and sprayed with the arctic waters again, but did enjoy playfully drying each other off.

"Can I do your hair?" Tara asked shyly, looking down at the hands she was playing with in her lap so as not to be obvious in watching Willow do her sweater up.

"Not much to do with, but sure," Willow replied, securing the last button, then going to sit by the desk.

Tara fetched her blowdryer from the drawer and plugged it in, then turned it to the lowest setting and blew the hot air over Willow's hair.

"Hey, this is nice," Willow said, relaxing back into the chair, "No one's ever dried my hair before…you know, without being paid."

"Do you ever curl the front a little?" Tara asked, getting her hair brush out, "It would frame your face really nicely."

Willow shrugged and smiled.

"Go for it."

Tara saw the smile in the small mirror sat on the desk in front and smiled back. She dried off Willow's hair quickly, then pulled the brush through the front, giving it a wave so it bounced in front of her face.

She left the blowdryer down on the desk and brushed through Willow's hair a final time, before bending down so they were level and could see each other in the mirror.

Willow ran a hand through the 'bounce' either side of her face, her brow creasing just a tad.

"Hey… I look… kinda pretty."

Tara pressed a kiss into Willow's neck.

"You look beautiful. You always do."

Willow shot a smile through the mirror, then looked away.

"Stop making me blush," she said, grinning anyway, "We better get to the cafeteria before it closes."

Tara offered her hand and Willow took it, pulling herself up. She stood close to Tara and just looked into her eyes for a moment, before falling into her and kissing her softly.

"Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Told me, shown me," Tara replied with a gentle, sloped smile, "Wrapped me in it."

"Well then I've done my job…for now," Willow said with another quick peck, "I will tell you and show you and wrap you until you get sick of me."

Tara shook her head.

"Not going to happen."

"Well okay," Willow smiled softly, "But I wouldn't blame ya."

Tara slid her hands up to Willow's shoulders and leaned right in close.

"Not. Going. To happen."

Willow felt her heart flutter and smiled some more.

"Okay."

She entwined their fingers and led Tara out the door. They rushed a little across campus so they'd have time to eat without being hurried out. The last rush of students were getting their meals and the room was packed.

Tara spotted a lone table in the corner and pointed it out.

"Go grab the table and I'll get us food. Do you want garlic bread?"

Willow nodded, then skirted off to nab the table. She brought the chair opposite around so Tara would sit close, then wiped the table with her sleeve, trying to make it as presentable as possible.

She waited somewhat impatiently for Tara to return, and jumped up to pull her chair out for her when she saw her approaching, balancing a tray with a few dishes.

"Thanks," Tara smiled, sitting and leaving their plates in front of them.

Willow pushed her chair in, then sat down again. She eyed the plate hungrily and tore off a piece of garlic bread, then took a sip from the lidded plastic cup Tara put in front of her.

She gagged as the liquid splashed onto her tastebuds.

"Yuck, I hate orange soda, you know that."

Tara toyed with her fork, not quite meeting Willow's gaze.

"I must've forgotten. Messed up, sorry."

Willow frowned, she could have believed her girlfriend had forgotten a trivial detail, but she was learning to decipher avoid-y Tara behaviour and she was definitely displaying some right then.

"Tara, what–"

She shut her mouth as she suddenly recalled what she'd said in the shower, when Tara thought she'd upset her.

_I told her to stop being so perfect…she thought I meant it. And she continues to be perfect by trying to seem not so because I said it._

"Tara, I didn't…" she trailed off and took Tara's hand, "I wasn't… Just…be you."

Tara had become as adept at interpreting Willow's language as Willow had her facial expressions. She felt a squeeze on her hand and smiled into her girlfriend's kind eyes, then switched out the cups.

"Diet Coke."

Willow took a grateful swig to wash out her mouth.

"Don't listen to me when I'm moody, okay?" she said, digging into her meal, "That is golden advice right there, especially now we live together. I can get realllll crabby."

Tara speared some lettuce and tomato from her salad onto her fork.

"Real crabby, huh?"

Willow nodded seriously.

"Decrabification is a very strict process of pouting, Pinky and the Brain, and pudding, in that order, devised and continued since childhood. It's a good idea to make sure there's always two and three on demand. I'm pretty good at one."

Tara seemed to be thinking hard.

"That's a cartoon, right? The brain one? Do they have it on those DVD things? I can sneak pudding out from here."

Willow covered Tara's hand again.

"Oh, Tara, you're so sweet. I'm only playing."

Tara didn't seem convinced.

"I don't think you joke about pudding."

Willow blushed and smiled.

"Well…maybe there is some truth to the process…but I promise I won't spring crabby Willow on you…emotional Willow apparently has no shame, but crabby Willow at least knows when to stay away."

"You don't have to stay away. I might even be able to help with the process."

Willow grinned and giggled.

"Mmhh, I can change it to peck, paw and pus–" she started, but an opportune glance from a passing lunch lady stopped her in her tracks, "–sh-ups! Push-ups!"

"Push-ups?" Tara asked, confused for a moment, before her brain completed the sentence for her.

Willow nodded dumbly.

"Yeah, I could probably do…one…if someone held me up. Exercise…release those endorphins…"

"Right," Tara replied, pushing her food around her plate and blushing, "Endorphins."

Willow slowly chewed on a piece of pasta and noticed Tara continuing to play with her food.

"I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I mean, obviously I did, but I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable like…like that you think I just see you as…" she trailed off, then worried she'd made another faux-pas, "Not that you don't have a very pretty pu–"

Tara's eyes went wide and she clamped her hand over Willow's mouth.

"Stop making things worse for yourself."

She dropped her hand again and Willow remained silent for a moment before deciding she just needed to clarify.

"You do have a very pretty p–"

Tara dropped her fork to the plate, unwittingly causing a few stares.

"Willow!"

Willow pursed her lips to stop herself.

"Um, okay, no saying that word."

"Not in the cafeteria!" Tara replied, turning away from the attention they were getting.

Willow nodded once.

"Right."

Tara took some very long sips of her cold drink to calm her cheeks, but noticed Willow just staring at her.

"W-what?"

Willow shuffled over a bit, Tara's embarrassment not sending the 'stop talking' cue to her brain.

"Just now I'm thinking about how dark your nipples are and how long your fingers stretch and–"

"Willow!" Tara cut her off again, blush spreading all the way to her ears.

She was fine with having a conversation like that in private, after all, if they were doing it then they should definitely be talking about it, but was hyper aware of the people around them. No one seemed to be looking in their direction any longer, but she didn't want to risk anymore, so stood up to clear her tray and break the conversation.

Willow misunderstood it for her leaving and jumped up to follow.

"Tara, wait!"

She weaved in and out of people until finally catching up with Tara right by the double doors where the disposal station was.

"Tara, wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just, I just, was thinking it, and it's you, and we've been intimate and not just in the touchy variety, but really intimate, share hopes-and-dreams kind of intimate so I kinda sorta thought things weren't off limits and I'm sorry."

Tara turned around, arms wrapped around her chest. Her embarrassed eyes met Willow's, glad there was no one else in the immediate vicinity. She kept her voice low anyway.

"Willow, you can tell me anything. Absolutely anything. But when it's about our bedroom, I want it to stay in our bedroom. Including talking about it. Or at least somewhere where we're not surrounded by half the student body."

Willow blinked a couple of times as she took that in.

"Right," she repeated, really hearing it this time, "That makes complete sense and I'm a total jackass. I ruined a perfect day."

As embarrassed as Tara was, she knew there was no maliciousness in Willow's intent and didn't want her to be down on herself.

"You didn't…_ruin _it…" she tried to comfort, reaching a hand out to rub her shoulder, "I-I shouldn't be so embarrassed."

Willow shook her head, apologetic.

"No, Tara, you're completely right. I wouldn't even tell Becky this stuff but I'll spout off willy nilly in the cafeteria, not caring about your feelings or who's listening. I got caught up…thinking about you…it's still…pretty overwhelming, you know? But I shouldn't have said that here," she replied, looking down self-deprecatingly, "And forced us to have a…lovers' tiff tucked away in the corner."

Tara gave Willow's shoulder a squeeze.

"We're not fighting."

Willow looked visibly relieved and grasped Tara's hand.

"Can I say sorry anyway? Again?" she asked, before adding on with a small but real smile, "I don't want to spend our first real night in our place on the floor."

Tara smiled too and shook her head.

"You won't have to sleep on the floor."

Willow entwined both sets of fingers and did a little happy jump.

"Can we make like an elephant on opposite day and forget this ever happened?"

Tara offered a forgiving crooked smile.

"If you go grab me a chocolate swirl cone."

Willow nodded happily.

"Apologies through delicious frozen dairy treats, that's my girl," she replied, popping a quick kiss on Tara's cheek, "Be right back."

She bounced off and returned a couple of minutes later with a vanilla cone covered in sprinkles in one hand and a chocolate swirl dipped in chopped nuts in the other.

"You like the nuts, and toffee sauce, right?" she asked, having seen Tara get the combination at the ice-cream station before, "Mine has raspberry syrup if you want a taste."

She offered her cone and Tara wrapped her lips around the top peak, her tongue poking out to lick the corner of her mouth where an errant sprinkle had gotten waylaid.

"That's super sweet," she commented, though Willow was too distracted by watching Tara's tongue to hear.

"Um, yeah," Willow replied, blinking slowly, then looking up, not wanting to cause Tara anymore embarrassment, "I like it sweet."

Tara offered her own cone and Willow slurped the top off too.

"That is…delectably rich," she nodded, appreciating the more satisfying crunch of the nuts.

She took Tara's hand again and walked them through the doors out into the air again, a warm breeze in the air as dusk settled over campus.

"Hey, wanna catch the sunset? By our tree, like this morning?"

Tara nodded warmly.

"That sounds really nice."

They walked silently, enjoying their ice-creams and holding hands until they arrived at their tree and sat beside each other, backs to the trunk.

"Could you imagine if we showed up here one day and there were other people sitting here?" Willow asked, shuffling over so they were thigh-by-thigh, "It'd be like the episode of Friends where those guys take their booth."

Tara turned her head curiously.

"Is that the show with the girl…with the haircut?"

Willow's heart clenched for a moment that Tara was denied, or rather why she was denied, normal teenage years where she'd be privy to such pop culture information. She took Tara's hand gently .

"Yeah, honey, it is."

Tara seemed pleased she'd guessed the right show and linked her arm right in with Willow's, settling her head down on her shoulder.

"Mmhh, this is perfect."

Willow smiled softly.

She knew she couldn't change Tara's past, but she could affect her future.

Make is as bright and happy and joyful as she could.

She knew she'd mess up again, that Tara would likely mess up at some stage (no matter how perfect she was in Willow's eyes), that there might be a night or two down the line where one of them would end up on the floor.

But those would be passing moments. Moments, unlike the one they were in right then, which would be transitory, forgotten after reconciliation, and hopefully never dwelled on again.

Moments with no regularity, no consistency.

The only consistency was them.

Sunrise and sunset, they'd be together.

And that was all that really mattered.


	23. Chapter 23

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – They're creating this safe space for each other which I really leave. Fights are definitely real but they're just moments they'll get over :)

**Dirty Tube Socks – ** Anti-sharing everything? Or just socks? I don't know, Tara has this whole not going to bed mad thing, so maybe neither...but if I had to place a bet, I'd say Willow :P

* * *

Willow bounced through the door of their dorm, waving a piece of paper.

"Guess what I just did, guess what I just did!"

"Is that a party flyer?" Tara asked from the bed where she was leaning over a textbook with a highlighter and now eyeing the piece of paper uncomfortably.

"Do you think I got a personality transplant?" Willow asked, shutting the door behind her and going over to show Tara what was in her hands, "I signed up for my summer class! Photography, like you said!"

Tara smiled.

"I didn't know you actually liked photography."

Willow shrugged.

"Well, I've never tried it. But it seems like a good, summer-y class to do… better than history or something," she replied, then pulled some more folded-up papers from her pocket, "I grabbed some of the next-semester class sign up forms for us too."

Tara motioned towards her nightstand with her highlighter.

"The RA dropped some in this morning too."

"Oh," Willow replied, tossing her crumpled papers, "Did you fill yours out yet?"

Tara shook her head.

"Not all of it, I wanted to wait and see yours, see if we could schedule an afternoon off or something."

"Yay, more Tara-time!" Willow exclaimed happily, snatching the forms up, "Do you have time to figure it out now?"

She dropped onto the bed and swung her legs up, then popped a kiss on Tara's cheek.

"Hi, by the way. I like your sweater."

Tara smiled, her eyes creasing affectionately.

"Hi. Thank you."

Willow, as she always did, spent a moment appreciating Tara's gently sloped smile and, as it always did, found it left a warm knot in her stomach.

"Hi," she repeated, letting the papers fall away and scooting closer, "You smell good."

She turned her head into Tara's neck under the guise of smelling her perfume, but her lips quickly found skin.

"You smell _really _good."

Her hand slipped under Tara's sweater and caressed her stomach a moment, then went to the button on her pants.

"Willow–"

Willow took her hand back and slumped away.

"Did I go for the pants too fast?" she asked, pouting at herself, "I went for the pants too fast, didn't I? I always go for the pants too fast."

Tara just smiled and brushed her hand against Willow's cheek.

"I have to be in art class in thirty minutes."

Willow sat back, disappointed.

"Oh."

Tara smoothed her sweater down and fixed her pants button.

"Later," she promised, her tone indicating she meant it.

Willow perked up a bit.

"Okay," she said, happy with the thought of 'later' as she picked up the papers she discarded again, "These forms always fill me with a sense of dread… like my brain finally registers that exams are coming up."

Tara reached out and squeezed Willow's shoulder.

"What are you worried about, you'll ace them all."

Willow shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm not as smart as people think I am. I just want to do well."

Tara moved closer to take Willow's hand.

"Sweetie? What's wrong?"

Willow felt comforted holding Tara's hand and started to play with her fingers.

"I guess I still have my A equals love mentality."

Tara leaned right over and pecked Willow's lips.

"Well my love equals W-I-L-L-O-W."

Willow smiled softly and brought Tara's hand over her heart.

"Thanks, Tara."

Tara smiled again, then pointed to her class form.

"I already filled out my core classes, you can see if we fit in anywhere."

"Okay, I'll get right on it," Willow replied, laying the forms side by side, "Hey, maybe we could take a class together. I'll need a new arts elective, I can't do American Film History again. I cannot write another essay on The Motion Picture Production Code of 1930. That was some serious censorship-y stuff, you know. 'Passion should be so treated that these scenes do not stimulate the lower and baser element.' Which kinda defeats the whole purpose of passion; to be stimulating."

Tara had turned back to her textbook, highlighting new passages.

"Passion isn't just about sex."

"I know, you can be passionate about other things," Willow replied distractedly as she filled out her schedule.

Tara shook her head.

"No, I mean, when it's about sex… it isn't always about sex."

Willow looked up then, blank.

"You lost me."

Tara was silent for a few moments in thought, still idly dragging her marker across various pages.

"Well, when we're… together… it's not just because I get 'excited'. It feels like I'm a part of you, like I'm breathing from you. Consumed by you. Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in time and space but it doesn't matter because you're there, you're my constant. My passion isn't because I'm stimulated, because I want you… it's because I need you," she answered, then closed her textbook with a shrug, "But I still don't really know much about this kind of stuff."

Willow sat dumbfounded for a couple of seconds, but when she saw Tara about to stand, snapped to attention and tugged her arm back. She grabbed Tara's cheeks and pulled her in to kiss; deeply, urgently, _passionately_.

Tara placed her hands on Willow's shoulders and kissed back for as long as she could before gently pushing her away.

"Willow–"

"I know, I know," Willow cut her off with a soft smile, "I just thought it better than 'ditto'. I love you, Tara."

"I love you too, Willow," Tara replied and pressed another sweet kiss to Willow's lips before moving away to gather her books.

Willow let the tingle spread from her lips through her body then flopped down to the bed with a satisfied sigh.

"It'd be so fun to do a class together. Maybe something fun like drama. I could be dramatic," she said, then grabbed Tara's stuffed rabbit from her pillow and adopted a theatrical voice, "You cannot have another carrot! You have a carrot problem!"

Tara smiled over her shoulder.

"Definitely dramatic."

Willow made a grab for the forms again and perused them as Tara got her things ready for class.

"How about Introduction to Theatre?" Willow asked after a couple of minutes, "It says here it's half-classroom based and half-theatre based… learning the history and putting on a little show I guess."

Tara nodded and put her satchel over her shoulder.

"That sounds fun."

Willow looked between the two schedules.

"Well I'm not a 100%, but it looks like that could fit in on a Monday and Friday afternoon."

Tara smiled again and sat on the corner of the bed.

"I'm in."

"Great!" Willow replied happily, marking the class in with pencil so she could erase if necessary, "I'm so glad I have my housing situation sorted. It was stressful last year 'cause Becky was all hot'n'heavy with her ex, Tim, and I didn't really know where we stood."

Tara reached out to rub Willow's knee.

"That must've been tough."

Willow shrugged.

"Not as tough as when he broke it off because he wanted to bang as many girls as he could over the summer… I was glad I'd already arranged to go home with Becky, 'cause she didn't stop crying for six weeks. It took a lot of Cherry Garcia to get over that one."

Tara lay down for a moment alongside Willow to kiss her cheek.

"You're a good friend."

Willow turned her head in so she could return the cheek-kiss.

"What about girlfriend?"

Tara let Willow trail kisses along her jaw.

"You're a wonderful girlfriend," she replied warmly, before pushing Willow away when she approached her neck, "Now stop tempting me to miss class. I have to hand a final assignment in."

Willow brushed her hand delicately down Tara's arm.

"You're the tempting one."

Tara blushed.

"No more sassy eggs for breakfast for you."

Willow pouted.

"But you know how I like them wiggling at me like little boobs. I'll stop with the naughty… at least until you get back."

Tara pecked Willow quickly and stood.

"I'm sorry, honey, I have to go."

Willow nodded, only a half-pout this time.

"Okay, bye baby. Have a good class."

* * *

"Make sure to leave your assignments on the desk…and have a good summer."

Tara slowly packed away her things, wanting the shuffle of people trying to get out of class as quickly as possible to die down before she left. When only a short, steadily-streaming line was left, she held her assignment against her chest and joined it.

"Hey, Tara."

Tara turned when she heard her name and smiled at the girl standing behind her, short-ish with a brunette pixie cut and pale but pretty features.

"Hi, Mia."

Mia's cheeks appeared to flush, but Tara didn't notice.

"So are you keeping this class up next year?" Mia asked, smiling almost giddily.

"I'm not sure, I'm still sorting out my schedule," Tara replied, leaving her assignment down as she approached the professor's desk.

"Yeah, it's hard to fit in those electives," Mia said, quickly copying the action and following her towards and out the door.

Tara nodded.

"I think, um, 'Introduction to Theatre' is the only decided one so far."

"That sounds like it could be fun," Mia replied, almost standing on the tips of her toes excitedly.

Tara smiled again.

"Willow seems to think so."

Mia's brow creased but she tried to remain casual.

"Willow?"

"My–"

Tara didn't get a chance to explain as the lady in question appeared from around the corner. She lit up as she caught sight of Tara and rushed forward.

"Hey, missed you too much to wait," she explained, pecking Tara's cheek and taking her hand, "Wanna grab some dinner?"

"Uh huh," Tara answered brightly, offering a wave with her other hand, "Bye Mia, nice talking to you."

Mia looked completely dejected, but managed a weak wave.

"Bye Tara."

Their backs were turned to the scowl that followed.

"I filled out my whole schedule and I'd have Tuesday and Thursday afternoons off _and _all day Friday," Willow said, happily swinging their hands between them, "So hopefully you can work in with one of those."

"Your class load is light," Tara replied, turning her head towards the sun to feel the heat.

Willow watched Tara's face glow with the gleam of the sun for a moment before concentrating back on the conversation.

"Well I've been doing a bunch of extra classes the last two years, I'm ahead of schedule," she explained, then smiled affectionately, "But I'd choose us-time over a class any day."

Tara turned back to Willow and offered a loving smile.

"I love you, too."

Willow felt warmed by more than just the sun, then sighed.

"Some us-time will be sacrificed for the next week of exams though."

Tara squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"It'll be okay. Think about all the time we have after. Hope you don't get sick of me."

Willow smiled again and shook her head.

"I never get sick. And I'll definitely never, ever get sick of you."

* * *

"Tara, I don't know anything, I don't know anything!"

"Willow, honey, calm down."

"I've forgotten. I've forgotten everything the professor has ever said and I'm going to go in there and not write anything and fail and I'll get kicked out of college and then you won't love me and–"

Tara stood up from the bed and marched over to where Willow was pacing around the room. She took a hold of her arms to stop her moving, and kissed her softly to stop her talking.

"First off, I will love you. No matter what. Secondly, _you know this stuff_. You're panicking and stressing and that's fogging your brain. Just take a few breaths."

Willow did as she was told, then dropped her head against Tara's shoulder. Tara stroked her hair gently.

"Let's take a break, go for a walk."

Willow shook her head, her shoulders tensing.

"I have to study."

She pushed away from Tara and went back to the cascade of open books on the bed. Tara followed, rubbing Willow's back to try and calm her down.

"Let me go get you some food at least. You haven't eaten since breakfast and you just pushed that around the plate."

Willow shook her head again.

"I don't think I can eat."

Tara held back a sigh.

"Well I'm hungry," she said, knowing Willow wouldn't object to her eating, "I'll bring you back something, okay?"

Willow nodded absently, her eyes trying to take in the contents of four separate pages at once. Tara really did sigh this time and put her satchel over her body to sneak what she could back.

She dropped a quick kiss against Willow's head.

"Sure you don't want to come with me?"

"Tara, I can't!" Willow replied exasperatedly.

Tara flinched and looked down, then quickly skirted out of the room. She kept her head down as she walked across campus to the cafeteria, a little stung. Once there, she picked up a tray and joined the back of the line, where a familiar brunette turned and smiled at her.

"Hey, I haven't seen you guys all weekend," Becky said, grinning, "Nesting it up in the love shack?"

Tara blushed and almost said 'I wish' but caught it before it came out.

"Willow's been hitting the books pretty hard."

Becky suddenly shuddered.

"Oh god, I forgot about exam-season Willow," she said, eyes flashing with the memories of a very irate redhead, "Good luck with that. Is she inhaling coffee and pizza?"

"Coffee, yes," Tara replied with a nod, "No pizza."

Becky looked thoroughly surprised.

"We ordered a lot of pizza in our time, but we could have replaced our nightstands with pizza boxes last exam time. They lined the walls."

Tara seemed pleased to hear that.

"Do you think she'd eat some pizza?" she asked hopefully, "She's just pushing food around her plate when I make her come out here to eat."

Becky chuckled.

"Willow will always eat pizza."

Tara left her tray back with the rest of them and grabbed something from a nearby container, pocketing it.

"Thanks," she said to Becky, before quickly turning and leaving again.

She walked off campus and to the pizza parlour they'd gone to on their first date, since it was the only one she knew where the actual establishment was. She entered quietly, spotting the same guy as before behind the counter, so kept her head down to avoid his gaze.

"Can I get a large, um…Sweet Red?"

Danny nodded and shouted the order back, then rung it up on the cash register. During the exchange of cash, he recognised Tara's face.

"Hey, you're…" he started, then went deathly white, "I'll just, uh, get that pizza for you."

He scurried off and Tara left her change back in her wallet. Danny returned a couple of minutes later with a smaller box on top of the pizza one.

"Here's some garlic bread, on the house," he said, then scrambled to the freezer behind him, "And some ice-cream. You like Chunky Monkey?"

Tara just nodded, blinking in surprise. Danny looked as if he was trying to talk down a gunman as he loaded the extras into a bag.

"I'll just throw some Dew in there…" he said, shoving it all towards her with a nervous chuckle.

Tara silently took the bag and pizza box, then offered Danny a small smile.

"I'm sorry she ruined your shoes."

She left without another word and carried everything back to campus. She struggled for a moment at the door but eventually managed to open it. Willow was over to her like a shot.

"Tara, I'm so sorry I snapped at you, I…" she trailed off, eyeing the contents of Tara's hands, "Where'd you get all that?"

"The pizza place," Tara answered, matter-of-factly.

Willow's eyes went wide.

"Did you pay for it?!"

"Well I paid for the pizza, the rest was free," Tara answered, closing the door behind her, "It's pepperoni, and I even got a peach."

She left everything down on the bed and produced the peach from her pocket with a smile.

"How come it was free?" Willow asked, seeing the generous contents of the bag.

"Um, Danny? Was that his name?" Tara asked, playing with the end of her sleeve, "He seemed pretty terrified he was going to get shouted at again."

"You went to _that _place?" Willow asked, obvious disdain in her voice.

Tara looked down.

"I-I didn't know any other. I just wanted to get you s-something you might eat."

Willow felt her heart clench and reached for Tara's hand.

"Tara, I'm sorry I'm so crabby. I won't snap like that at you again," she promised, then went off in search of her wallet, "Let me pay you back for the pizza."

"Willow, it's okay," Tara replied, sitting on the edge of the bed, "Please just eat something."

Willow turned back, toying with her hands in front of her.

"Have I been worrying you?"

Tara offered her hand again.

"I understand. I lose my appetite when I'm stressed too. But you need something."

"You're not stressed?" Willow asked, taking Tara's hand and wondering how she could be so calm, knowing she had an academic scholarship to keep up too.

"They're just exams," Tara replied kindly, "I'm a good student, you're a great student. We'll do fine."

Willow's shoulders appeared to relax, and she smiled a moment later.

"Pizza smells good. Gimme that peach so I can get cutting!"

Tara got the peach and a plastic knife and gave them to Willow to start her process.

An empty garlic bread box, almost-empty pizza box and two spoons deep into the tub of Chunky Monkey later, Willow had her hands over her bloated belly and gave a small groan.

"Okay… so maybe trying to eat an entire day's worth of food in one sitting… was not such a good idea."

Tara licked her spoon clean, then took Willow's hand.

"Oh, baby, want me to rub your tummy?"

Willow felt that prickle of delight at the pet name and an even bigger one at the offer.

"Yeah, uh huh."

Tara left the tub on her nightstand and curled around Willow, then slipped a hand under her shirt and started rubbing in light circles.

"Mmmhh…that's better than an antacid," Willow said lazily, closing her eyes, "Faster too."

Tara pressed her palm more insistently into Willow's stomach and got a moan of appreciation for her efforts. She began to press small kisses into Willow's neck, pressing her lips softly against the delicate skin there.

Willow moaned again and pressed herself back into Tara.

"My bellyache seems to be turning into a belly tingle."

Tara moved her hand higher, gently cupping one of Willow's breasts through her bra.

"What if I do this?"

Willow turned her head back to meet Tara's eye.

"Definite…tingle."

She pressed her lips against Tara's and turned her body, then made a hasty grab for the end of her t-shirt, twisting and wiggling out of it.

"God that thing had a vice grip on me," she said as she threw it to the floor, "Did it mess my hair up?"

"Uh uh," Tara shook her head, though her gaze was a lot lower than Willow's head, a direction her lips followed a moment later.

Willow settled back to enjoy the soft kisses all over her chest. They pulled and grabbed at each other until they were lying in bra and panties together, hands roaming as they kissed hungrily.

Willow felt one of Tara's hands slide down over her covered buttock and wiggled happily for a moment until she felt the other hand snap her bra open and instantly pulled away.

"One-handed?" she asked in a huff, "I only just managed from the back!"

Tara gently retreated her hands and brought them up to stroke Willow's hair, doing her best not to look at where her girlfriend's bra had fallen away.

"It's not a competition."

Willow knew she was being petty, but wished she could possess a bit more finesse when it came to bras and their removal.

"You're an excellent panty remover," Tara said to her, nothing but genuine.

Willow had to smile; the only thing Tara did better than undressing was making her feel better.

"I am, huh?"

Tara nodded, so Willow scooted down and slipped her fingers through the waistband of her girlfriend's panties and quite gracefully stripped them from her.

Tara blushed as she always did during intimate-apparel removal, then giggled.

"10 points."

Willow tossed the panties away and leaned back over Tara on her forearms.

"Do I get a medal?"

Tara nodded as she traced a finger down Willow's face to her lips.

"It's redeemable for a kiss."

Willow brought her face close to Tara's.

"Oh well, I'm going to redeem that right away."

Tara's eyes closed softly as she waited for Willow to kiss her, but they flickered open again when nothing happened. Willow mouth was open and panting just slightly, the tips of their noses brushing against each other.

"I get to choose where, right?"

Tara gave a barely-noticeable nod, then closed her eyes again as Willow made her way down her body.

Her breath hitched as Willow's lips began caressing her intimate flesh and released it in a slow exhale a moment later. Her breathing pattern stayed in that rhythm, as controlled as she could manage.

Her senses were rapidly abandoning their purpose in place of overwhelming sensation, enough to startle her.

"Willow," she gasped, her thighs and chest tightening, "I-I miss you."

Willow paused, waiting a moment in confusion before lifting her head, then shuffled up in embarrassment.

"Am I no good at that either?" she asked, a hand wiping her mouth and her eyes staying down.

Tara could still feel blood rushing between her ears, but was coherent enough to recognise the critical tone of Willow's voice. She blinked a couple of times to compose herself, then sought out her girlfriend's gaze.

"No, Willow, no. You're so good I can't handle it," she assured with a slight pant, but could tell it wasn't sinking in, "Willow you're not bad at anything. You drive me crazy."

Willow drooped even further.

"I'm sorry, I'll stop going on about it."

"No, Willow," Tara shook her head, then leaned up so their foreheads were touching and she could look Willow right in the eye, "You drive me _crazy_. So crazy I get a little scared still. But I look in your eyes and I know it's all okay."

"Oh," Willow replied, her eyes softening as she took that in, "So you really did…miss me."

Tara nodded shyly and Willow brushed her cheek tenderly.

"Well I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

She bumped their noses together again before taking Tara's lips, reigniting a burning passion in them both. Tara slid her hand slowly down Willow's side, then tried to messily yank her panties off.

"That's just what you wanted, isn't it?" Willow asked with a teasing smile and a giggle, "Gettin' me naked."

Tara blushed and bit her lip coyly, which only served to make Willow even more frisky.

"Let me get that pesky bra off, I don't care how many hands it takes," she said, pulling Tara up to get access to her back, but pressed a soft kiss to her cheek along the way, "'Long as they're mine."

She pushed the hooks of Tara's bra free in just two attempts and took great pleasure in releasing her breasts. She cupped both with some eager squeezes, then lay back over Tara so their chests pressed together.

A small shiver sped up her spine and she kissed the corner of Tara's mouth.

"Much as I enjoy…" she whispered, trailing off with a shy look down, "Other stuff…there's definitely benefit to being…close."

Tara ran her fingers gently along the small of Willow's back, then one slid up to her hair as they began kissing again. She felt Willow's thighs spread on top of hers and let hers go with them until she could feel her girlfriend's heat against hers.

She gently massaged Willow's scalp as the kiss deepened and used the hand on her back to push their bodies further together. She luxuriated in how they melded into each other like perfectly fitting puzzle pieces.

Willow loved the slide of their tongues; the gentle, rhythmic motion that their bodies seemed to followed. She made a blind fumble for Tara's hand, pulling it away from her back, to leave between their legs.

She wasted no time in letting her own hand get to work, easily gliding in to where Tara's arousal had built up considerably.

Tara's arched out of the kiss at the feel of Willow's touch over her bud, her teeth digging into her lower lip again.

"You gotta stop doing that, you're turning me on like crazy," Willow whispered, then took a kissing path along Tara's throat.

Tara let her own hand fall the last inch to cup Willow gently, feeling the heat radiate for a moment before beginning to explore her folds.

Willow's head buried into Tara's neck, her hips already bucking in response. She used her spare hand to encourage Tara's leg over her hip and felt a surge at how open it made her.

Her hand dropped a little lower and sought out Tara's entrance, gently questing inside, loving the feel of her girlfriend's rippling muscles trying to coax her in.

Tara's hand tightened in Willow's hair, though she released it almost immediately for fear of hurting her, and her mouth opened silently to take in a long breath.

Her hand followed the same path Willow's had, finding the wet opening and wiggling her fingers in.

"Ugh…!"

Willow let out a sound between a groan and a grunt, and started pushing her hips right into Tara's, providing ample friction for herself and putting more power behind her thrusts.

"Is it good like this?" she asked, breathy, as she got into a rhythm she enjoyed.

"Uh huh," Tara replied, doing her best to match it.

Willow took Tara's lips again as their lower halves rocked together. She was already lost in fog that always engulfed her when they were together like this but the safety of Tara's arm around her kept her grounded and moving.

She attacked Tara's lips with even more hunger as the pulse in her belly began to radiate out, nipping and sucking in a bid to let out the engulfing sensations.

Tara could feel herself spilling out over Willow's hand and while a tiny bit embarrassed still, had much better emotions to be focusing on.

"I love you, Willow," she whispered, feeling as if heat was pushing up through her belly and out her throat, "I love–"

Her breath caught as the heat burst through its confines to enflame her. Her back arched and mouth opened again; Willow taking the opportunity to slide her tongue in to play, the final push needed to crash over the edge herself.

They lay still with each other for a long minute, their chests softly rising and falling together, until Willow finally slumped and rolled off.

It took her another minute to regain enough breathing control to manage moving again, and even then was only able for a leisurely stretch and smile.

"Wow, you did the impossible," she said, giggling, "Distracted me from exams. And I don't even wanna get right back to studying. Nope, I'm A-okay right here."

Tara was rubbing her own belly to help the tension, but squirmed when she accidentally pressed over her bladder. She leaned over and left a sloppy kiss on Willow's cheek.

"Can A-okay wait for a bathroom break?"

Willow smiled again and nodded, but stole a quick kiss before Tara hurried across to the bathroom. Willow watched her until any and all butt-wiggling was hidden behind a door, then stretched out again.

She spotted the pizza box on the floor as she stretched and wondered if Tara would mind her snagging the last slice – she felt a bit peckish after working off her overindulgence.

That thought sparked another in her mind, and she suddenly jumped up and made a beeline for her wallet. She plucked a $20 bill, then went in search for Tara's wallet, finding it under her girlfriend's jacket on the desk.

She opened it up and was just sliding the bill in, when Tara came back out, wrapped in her robe. Willow's eyes went wide, looking between Tara and the wallet, the rest of her frozen in place.

"I'm not, I wasn't…" she started to fumble over her words, then gulped at the way Tara was looking at her, "I was just putting the money back…for the pizza."

Tara looked both unimpressed and uncomfortable.

"I said it was alright."

"I know, but…you don't have…I mean…" Willow tried again, but knew she was just making it worse, "Made you uncomfortable again."

Tara had her gaze fixed firmly on a spot on the floor.

"Giving me money after what we just did makes me a little uncomfortable, yeah."

Willow went even more wide-eyed.

"Tara, it wasn't for…!" she said, mouth open in shock, "Please, Tara, you know it wasn't!"

Tara crossed her arms over her chest but looked up enough to meet Willow's eye.

"We should probably talk about money."

Willow left Tara's wallet and the bill down separately on the desk, then went back to the bed to cover herself with the sheet,

"Okay."

Tara walked over enough to sit on the edge of the bed. There was silence for a minute before she spoke.

"You have some…and I don't."

"Not millions or anything," Willow replied quickly, feeling as uncomfortable as Tara about the disparity, "But yeah, pretty comfortable cushion…least until college is over. Then I'll just get a job."

Tara laid her palm out on the sheet and rolled her hand back and forth, obviously nervous.

"I-I can't afford restaurants or fancy jewellery, but I can buy us a pizza every once and a while."

Willow shuffled over and placed her hand over Tara's.

"Tara, I don't want fancy jewellery, I just want you," she replied, turning Tara's palm over to trace a light circle, "I just hate thinking of you spending what little you have on me."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"I ate my fair share."

Willow smiled softly.

"Well, I mean, okay. That's fair. You can buy a pizza every so often…does that mean I can maybe take you out to a restaurant every once and a while too?"

Tara considered it a moment.

"Promise you won't put money in my wallet again?"

Willow nodded emphatically.

"Yes, Tara, I promise. I won't ever touch your private things," Willow replied, then chanced a smile, "Well, I'll touch _some _private things."

Tara couldn't help but smile and blush lightly.

"You can take me out."

Willow instantly brightened.

"After exams are over?"

"Only if you'll eat at least one good meal a day and get some sleep every night," Tara replied.

"You drive a hard bargain," Willow responded, leaning over to peck Tara's cheek, "Deal."

She gently stroked Tara's hair, then kissed her again, on the lips this time. She cupped Tara's cheek and softly stroked her skin for a few moments before pulling away and resting their foreheads together.

Tara's cheeks were really flushing now, her face wide in a smile.

"What was that for?"

Willow caressed Tara's cheek back to her ear.

"I never had anyone really take care of me before."

"Well get used to it," Tara replied tenderly, "You're too special not to."

Willow pressed their lips together sweetly again.

"I will if you will."

Tara offered a nose nuzzle in lieu of a handshake.

"Deal."


	24. Chapter 24

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – It is hard to blame anyone having a crush on either of the girls…until they start meddling anyway! The money thing, they do need to work it out. Always a sore spot for Willow, but if they can get to a point of both being comfortable, then they're on the right path.

**GnomeGirly** – Mia was mentioned in Family (in the scene where Robyn gets her name). Danny got the homophobe scared out of him! Money is an issue and I had established in the other two that she has a huge complex of being broke and not being able to provide, so I couldn't really wrap the whole issue up yet when I know what's to come a couple of years down the line. What I hoped was that this conversation would sort of 'tide them over' until the real, deep issue presents itself (at a time where they're in a much more established relationship and dealing with the realities of rent etc). Little steps. :)

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you could get a laugh :) Nobody messes with her girl! Mia, Mia, Mia…I wonder what will become of her? ;)

**WandTforever** – Your username really confused me for a second because I thought it said 'Wand T Forever' and I was trying to figure out what a 'Wand T' was. It of course says W and T forever which makes far more sense, so forgive me for my stupidity :)

And holy hell, thank you so much! So many compliments, my head won't have much room left! I'm so delighted you enjoy my fics and I am *right* there with you about seeing JJ and Robyn (and some others that might appear!) grow up – I have so, so many plans for their lives going forward. They might just end up being a 'Family Confidential: Continued' or something since a lot of it is still all family-based, but if a better name inspiration strikes, I'll go with it [or if one strikes you, feel free to share ;)] Thank you so much for your review, you made my day :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Sharing is caring ;) She definitely doesn't have a chance, but that doesn't mean she isn't gonna try! That temper's gonna get her in a whole heap of trouble, and not just with Tara! I think the money issue is at a plateau at the moment where they're both okay with where they stand, but there will come a day when the roles are reversed and well…that'll be a whole new kettle of fish.

* * *

**Hi guys, there won't be an update next week because I have to go into hospital for a few days – hoping to be back with bells on the week after :)**

* * *

"Tara! Tara! Tara!"

Tara stopped as she walked across campus and turned at the sound of her name. She smiled as she saw Willow rushing towards her. She took a step forward to meet her, but Willow misjudged her stepping and promptly tripped over her own feet right in front of her.

Tara dropped down to give her a hand up, and Willow took it, jumping up quickly.

"Whoops, that was embarrassing."

"Are you okay?" Tara asked in concern, wiping some dirt from Willow's shoulder.

"Uh huh," Willow replied, bouncing on the balls of her feet, "Better than okay! I'm finished! Exams, last one, done, finito!"

Tara smiled, happy to see Willow so unstressed.

"Well done. Did it go well?"

"Yeah I really think it did! And you know what this means, right?" Willow asked, throwing her hands, which had notebooks and a pen case in them that were lucky not to go flying, out excitedly, "You're done and I'm done and therefore summer has officially begun! Let's go out! You said we could go out!"

"Out?" Tara questioned, confused.

"Uh huh! You said, after exams, if I ate and slept, we could go out!" Willow replied, obviously keen, "And I ate and slept with you!"

Tara turned crimson and did her best to pretend the people who had heard and stared, weren't. Willow realised what she'd said and rushed to clarify.

"Um, I mean, I slept while you were sleeping too. And I didn't eat you," she replied with a resolute nod of her head before tacking on, "Actually I did a couple of tim–"

If Tara's red cheeks hadn't been enough to stop Willow, the glare being directed at her then certainly would. She chuckled nervously and adopted the adorable smile that had gotten her out of a few tricky situations in her life.

"So, um, wanna go out?"

Tara fell hook, line and sinker for the smile and began swaying in place, coyly.

"We promised we'd help Becky with her luggage and say goodbye before she goes home."

"Oh right," Willow replied, thinking for a moment, "After?"

Tara began to look a little nervous.

"W-where were you thinking?"

Willow shrugged.

"Anywhere you want."

Tara's demeanour was turning less coy and more apprehensive.

"I don't know anywhere."

"Well why don't we just walk around the area and see what looks nice?" Willow suggested with an easy smile, "Don't need fancy clothes or anything."

Tara couldn't help but smile too.

"Okay, mind reader."

Willow moved her things to one hand and slipped the other into Tara's to resume the walk to their dorm. They strolled for a minute before Tara piped up.

"So my professor really liked my final art assignment."

Willow lifted her pen case and hit it against her head.

"God, I'm so self-centred! All about me and my stupid exam," she said with a self-deprecating roll of her eyes, "That's great, baby. I knew she would. You're a great artist."

Tara looked bashful.

"I don't know about that."

"You are!" Willow protested, "That drawing you showed me of the kitten with the yarn was so good! And its little paws all tangled up!"

"That wasn't for school," Tara replied with a soft shake of her head, "That was for fun."

Willow just swung their hands between them.

"Well you're a great school-drawer and a great fun-drawer then. Hey, maybe you could draw me some day," she suggested, only for Tara to avert her gaze shyly, "What?"

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"I-I've sketched you a couple of times."

"You have?" Willow asked, giving a giddy bounce as she opened the door into their building for Tara, "Will you show me?"

Tara smiled timidly.

"They're not very good."

"I won't be offended," Willow reassured, stopping outside their dorm, "Do you have keys?"

Tara retrieved her keys and opened the door for them. Willow dropped her things on the desk, then dropped down to lie on the bed with a happy sigh.

"I love our room so much," she announced, then rolled over to Tara's side of the bed and took a fistful of the sheet, "And I really love our bed."

She eyed the framed photo of them on the nightstand and picked it up to look at affectionately.

"You know this is the only place I've ever felt like it belonged to me."

Tara was at the closet, looking through for clothes, but turned her head at that.

"What do you mean?"

Willow was silent in thought for a moment.

"Well, growing up, I always felt like my bedroom was a room in my parent's house. And when I moved out here, I felt like my dorm was one of hundreds of the college's. But this room, even though I know it still belongs to the college, it still feels like mine. Ours," she explained, smiling quietly, "This probably sounds silly, but it's like…things don't belong to me anymore, I don't even belong to me. I'm not just a me. I'm an us. And I belong to you, and to us. And that was very wordy."

Tara wasn't sure she was hearing what Willow was trying to say the right way and moved to sit near her.

"You belong to you."

Willow quickly shook her head.

"I don't mean it like in a jealous possessive way. You don't _own _me," she tried to explain, before smiling again, "'Cept you kinda do. All the important parts."

She watched Tara think about that and thought she knew what was on her girlfriend's mind.

"That terminology might not sound right to you considering all you went through with your father but–"

She stopped when she saw Tara hold a hand up and looked her in eye.

"Please don't...do that. Use your class stuff. Psych me."

Willow clamped her mouth shut, realising she'd crossed a line, then solemnly nodded.

"I'm sorry, Tara. I'll try not to again."

Tara seemed to accept the apology and gently took Willow's hand.

"The terminology sounds fine," she said eventually as the idea became clearer in her mind, offering a smile, "My father controlled me, but he didn't own me. You don't control me… but you do own me. I'm yours. That's not something I even have to think about."

Willow sat up and shuffled over, wrapping her arms around Tara and resting her head on her shoulder.

"I love you, Tara. And that's not something I even have to think about either."

Tara closed the embrace tightly and pressed their lips together sweetly for a moment. Willow moved her hands up to Tara's cheeks to keep her close, then began to slowly lie back, taking her girlfriend with her.

Tara settled herself on top of Willow and was about to accept an eager tongue in her mouth when the nearby phone suddenly began shrilling. She broke the kiss and went to reach for it, but Willow caught her wrist first.

"Don't answer it."

Tara didn't need to be told twice and dropped her lips back to Willow's, but they got barely a minute before the shrilling started again. Tara lifted her head with a sigh and picked the receiver up.

"Hello?" she asked, trying not to convey her annoyance in her tone, "Oh, hi Becky. Uh huh. Yeah, we'll, um, be right up. Okay, bye."

She left the phone down again and it was Willow's turn to sigh.

"You just had to answer it."

Tara sat up and started fixing her hair.

"Becky's bus is due in soon."

"Yeah, I know," Willow grumbled, upset at being interrupted. She scooted up behind Tara and curled some strands between her fingers, "I love your hair."

"I grew it myself," Tara replied with a lopsided smile.

Willow giggled and turned a kiss in against Tara's cheek, then offered her hand. They made their way up to what was now just Becky's room and Tara knocked politely.

Becky threw the door open a moment later.

"Finally, lovebirds! I thought I was going to have to haul this stuff myself."

"We just got in from our last classes," Willow replied, shutting the door and eyeing the luggage that was set out, "Wow, you've drastically reduced this since last year."

Becky laughed and shook her head.

"Nope, got Daddy Dearest to pay for shipping since I wouldn't have my old reliable redhead to push a cart around the airport."

"That's me, Reliable-Dog-Geyser Person," Willow replied with a roll of her eyes, "Tara you take that little pink one, you said your back has been hurting you."

Becky smirked.

"Been trying out some new wet'n'wild positions?"

Tara blushed and looked down.

"No, she has PMS," Willow replied without thinking, causing Tara to turn an almost glowing shade of red, "Uh, I got this one."

She grabbed the largest of the bags and held the door open for Becky to walk through with the other one. Tara followed Becky out with the small hand luggage but Willow caught her by the shoulder as she was passing.

"Sorry, Tara. Make that Dummy-Jerk-Big-Mouth Person."

Tara paused for a moment, then smiled and pecked Willow's cheek before continuing on. Willow smiled in relief that she was forgiven and scanned her eyes around the room to make sure there was nothing left, then followed the other two downstairs and out the building where a shuttle bus was waiting.

She tossed the bag into the cargo compartment with the rest of the bags, then turned to Becky.

"So, have a great summer! And call us!"

"Oh, I will," Becky replied, punching Willow's shoulder lightly, "If you're not too busy to answer."

"I'll, ah, do my best," Willow replied, though had plenty of plans to spend the summer 'busy' with Tara.

Becky just smiled and embraced Willow for a moment, before offering the same to Tara.

"I'm really glad I met you this year, Tara."

Tara was momentarily surprised, but then hugged back.

"You too, Becky."

Becky pulled away and made her way to the front of the bus. She stepped on and took a hold of the rail there, then swung out with a dramatic flourish of her hand.

"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be–"

"Get on the damn bus," the bus driver spat at her, then started to push the lever to close the door.

"Some people have no appreciation for the literary arts," Becky scoffed, then waved out, "Have a good summer, lovebirds!"

"Bye, Becky," Willow waved, causing Tara to wave too as their hands were joined.

They watched the bus leave, then Willow turned and took Tara's other hand too.

"Dinner?"

Tara looked down self-consciously at her clothes but decided raking through her closet wasn't going to come up with anything more 'appropriate', so finally nodded.

"Great!" Willow beamed, a skip immediately appearing in her step as she began to lead Tara away, "Anything in particular you want to eat?"

"I don't mind," Tara replied a shake of her head, "I thought Becky was going home to her mom?"

Willow nodded, used to her own somewhat-random conversation jumps.

"She is."

"Oh," Tara replied, a little confused, "Just she said her Dad paid for the shipping."

"Oh, he did. He'll pretty much pay for anything if she just sends him the bill," Willow explained, then shrugged one shoulder, "I can't really say anything, I took parental guilt money too. Everyone deals with this kind of stuff in their own way."

"I wasn't judging," Tara replied quickly.

Willow smiled at her.

"I know you weren't. You never do."

Tara smiled back.

"You'll miss her."

"Not as much as I'd miss you," Willow replied with a hand squeeze, "I can't wait to have this summer with you. Hey, do you want to go to the beach sometime?"

"Okay," Tara agreed pleasantly, "That sounds fun. But I can't swim."

"Oh, you never learned?" Willow asked, giving Tara another smile when she seemed embarrassed, "Well we can just paddle…I mean my main incentive is seeing you in a swimsuit."

Tara blushed but was still smiling.

"I'll have to buy one."

"Even better!" Willow replied giddily, "We can go shopping for it together. If you want to, of course."

Tara seemed agreeable.

"Are you well-versed in bathing attire?"

Willow's cheeks tinged and she shrugged coyly.

"There may have been a swimsuit issue or two hidden in my room at my parent's house."

Tara giggled at Willow's blushing.

"Well then I'll definitely need your expertise."

Willow's skip became even more pronounced, but it was her stomach that was taking control of her as they passed a restaurant with open doors and delicious smells wafting out. It grumbled loudly. She blushed all over again.

"This, um, might be my olfactory senses sending all kinds of wacky signals to my belly, but this place looks nice."

Tara looked over to the establishment, a quaint building with tables both inside and out that people were scattered around and the aromas coming out were certainly pleasant. She nodded to Willow and they made their way over.

"Do you want to sit outside? It's a nice evening."

"Uh huh," Tara agreed, so Willow brought them over to a nearby table and held her chair out for her, "Thank you. You're so chivalrous."

"Well who said it's restricted to men?" Willow asked, taking her own seat, "If you're lucky enough to have a lady, then you should treat her like a lady."

"I'm not complaining," Tara replied with a shy smile as Willow took her hand across the table.

A girl about their age or a little older approached them with a friendly smile as she handed off some menus.

"Can I get you two some drinks?"

"Sprite?" Willow asked Tara , barely looking up from her menu, and got a nod in return, "Coke and a Sprite, please."

The waitress nodded and left again.

"I am so hungry," Willow said, eyes scanning up and down, "I feel like I haven't eaten in a week."

"Well you haven't unless you count the things I've practically force-fed you," Tara replied, perusing the menu more slowly.

Willow just smiled and found Tara's foot under the table.

"Have I told you how much I love you?"

Tara hid a big smile behind her menu, but Willow caught it and matched it with her own.

"Anything look good?"

"The coconut chicken and rice looks nice," Tara replied, trying to contain a flush rising in her cheeks when she felt that Willow had dropped her shoe and was playing footsie with her, barefoot, "How about you?"

"I think the blue cheese burger," Willow replied, the image presented on the menu appealing to her, "And I like the look of the chowder, I've never had it with – ooh the burger comes with bacon! Uh huh, chowder and blue cheese burger for me. Is that piggy?"

Tara shook her head.

"You deserve a decent meal."

"Well we can share dessert," Willow replied, then looked up coyly through her lashes, "And maybe we can work it off later."

Tara turned a fresh shade of crimson, not helped at all by Willow's foot gently gliding its way up her thigh.

Luckily, their waitress reappeared with their drinks, which Tara took a generous sip of. Willow however, was too distracted by the ample cleavage their waitress had on display, only coming to her attention when she had bent over to leave their drinks down.

"Can I take your order or do you need some more time?"

Tara waited for Willow to answer, but there was no response.

"I-I think we're ready," she answered, closing her menu, "I'll have the, um, coconut chicken."

"Brown or white rice?" the waitress asked nicely, scribbling it all down.

Tara handed her menu up.

"White, thank you."

The waitress took the menu under her arm and turned to Willow.

"And for you, ma'am?"

Tara had no idea why Willow had gone completely non-verbal, but it only took her another moment to catch where her girlfriend was looking. The waitress, luckily, seemed oblivious, but with Willow continuing not to say anything, it wouldn't be for long.

"She wants the chowder and the blue cheese burger," Tara answered, her tone growing peeved.

The waitress slowly nodded and kept her gaze on Willow.

"And how would you like that done?"

Willow seemed to finally realise talk was being directed at her.

"Uh, medium. Yeah."

"And do you want fries or potatoes?" the waitress asked, her tone staying kind.

"Potatoes. Uh, fries. Uh, what?" Willow asked, suddenly shaking her head and looking up to the waitress's eyes, "Um, fries. Thank you."

The waitress pocketed her notebook and spun around to leave again. Tara folded her arms over her chest on the table and her gaze dropped into them.

"Nice girl."

Willow straightened up, realising immediately she'd been caught.

"Tara, I wasn't–"

"Yes you were," Tara cut her off, distracting herself by rearranging her cutlery, "It's fine."

Willow opened her mouth to reply, but was struck dumb again.

_Stupid Willow. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

She felt her heart break at the look of hurt on Tara's face.

"Tara, I don't look at other girls. I really don't. I just…" she scooted her chair right in and lowered her voice, "I have a thing for boobs. You know that. So, when they're all up in my face like that, it kind of throws me for a second. But I'm not thinking about touching them, or being with those girls or anything like that. You're the only person I think of like that."

She felt tears prick her eyes as she watched Tara sink down in the chair.

"I'm so sorry, Tara, I can't imagine how I must have made you feel."

Tara looked up at the upset tone and moved her chair over beside Willow when she saw her eyes filling.

"Willow, don't cry."

Willow wiped at her eyes, embarrassed.

"Can't bear the thought of hurting you."

Tara got her napkin and discreetly wiped Willow's eyes so as not to embarrass her.

"Hey, look, it's okay," she said, putting a hand on Willow's shoulder and rubbing lightly, "I understand what you said. I get it, I trust you."

Willow still looked ashamed.

"I'll stop being such a jerk, I won't look anymore. It's just a reflex, I swear."

Tara moved her hand gently down Willow's back and thought for a moment.

"If you meant all you said, I can look past it. As long as you're respectful to me, and them, who is it hurting really?"

Willow made a grab for Tara's hand.

"I did mean it. I don't, can't, look at anyone the way I look at you. It's like looking at a fun kiddie finger paint and then looking at the Mona Lisa."

Tara smiled softly and lifted Willow's hand up to kiss softly.

"Hey, I should be doing that to you," Willow replied, repeating the action on Tara's hand, "Don't move back, stay with me here."

"Okay," Tara agreed without much need for convincing.

Willow moved her chair the last few inches so they were thigh to thigh.

"You're way too understanding."

Tara linked their fingers together.

"Well it wouldn't say much for our relationship if I didn't try to understand you."

Willow sighed and looked at Tara in awe.

"You're the wisest, kindest, most beautiful woman in the world."

Tara's lips quirked up on one side.

"Now you're just trying to charm me."

"I'm just trying to love you," Willow replied softly.

Tara smiled even more.

"Well you're doing a wonderful job."

Willow smiled back and leaned over to press a lingering kiss against Tara's cheek. The waitress returned as she was doing so and left the bowl of chowder down in front of her.

"Thank you," Willow said to her with little more than a passing glance.

Tara noticed Willow's gaze stay on her.

"You don't have to stop yourself."

"I'm not," Willow replied genuinely, "I have a weird fascination for a few seconds, then I snap out of it. I'd much rather look at you. Every time I look at your face, I see something new I haven't seen before. Something to make you even more beautiful."

Tara felt her heart lift up in her chest and smiled shyly.

"Your chowder's getting cold."

Willow gave Tara's hand a final squeeze, then picked up her spoon to tuck in.

"Do you want some?"

Tara shook her head.

"No, thanks, I don't want to fill up."

Willow pushed the bread basket towards her.

"At least have a piece of bread so I don't feel like a total pig."

Tara picked up a roll and picked at it while Willow ate. Their plates were replaced with their mains a little while later and both dug in.

"So I'm getting kind of excited about my photography class," Willow said, dipping a fry in some ketchup and throwing it in her mouth, "I've never done a fun one like that before. I mean, I think Chemistry and Math are fun, but…oh you know what I mean."

"I did some photography freshman year in one of my art classes," Tara replied, slowly cutting up her chicken before eating, "It's harder than you think. Lighting and shadows and things like that."

"That's kind of nice actually," Willow mused with a smile, "Learning something I know absolutely nothing about."

Tara smiled too.

"Well summer is a great time. Lots of opportunity."

"Mmhhmm," Willow agreed as she took a large munch of her burger, "Omigoghisurgharsogud."

"Your burger's good?" Tara deciphered and got an emphatic nod in response.

"Want a bite?"

Tara smiled again and shook her head.

"I don't think blue cheese and coconut go together."

"Good point," Willow replied, wiping the corner of her mouth with her napkin, "Is yours nice?"

"Delicious," Tara answered, spearing a piece of the mango acting as a garnish, "Thanks for taking me out."

Willow started to play with Tara's foot again under the table.

"My pleasure."

They ate and talked until their plates were clean, and Willow was eyeing the dessert menu with sluggish but greedy eyes.

"So…that dessert?"

Tara rested a hand over her stomach.

"I'm so full."

"Yeah, me too," Willow agreed reluctantly, trying to will room for one of the delicious delights on offer, "We could get it in a doggy bag and have a midnight snack later."

Tara nodded in agreement, so Willow turned the menu for her to see.

"What looks good?"

Tara looked through the options.

"The peach cobbler sounds nice. And it will keep."

"Excellent choice, my sweet," Willow said affectionately before beckoning their waitress over, "Could we get the peach cobbler, but to go? And our check please."

"No problem," she smiled and left just as quick, returning just a minute later with a take-out box and check.

Willow quickly calculated a tip and left the cash down, then stood and offered her hand. Tara took it and fell into step with her back on the sidewalk.

"It's a nice night."

"Nicer with you," Willow replied sweetly, "I love the breeze that comes out in the evening. It's like the wind is swaying."

Tara looked over.

"That's a nice way of putting it."

Willow rested her head down on Tara's shoulder and shuddered.

"Better than tap dancing with a light show, that's for sure."

Tara put a comforting arm around Willow's waist, quite aware of her girlfriend's aversion to thunderstorms.

"No chance of that tonight. The sky is clear."

"Yeah," Willow replied happily, "And the moon is out…it'll be full moon in a couple of nights."

They chatted as they made their way back to campus and to their dorm. Tara sat on the edge of the bed when they returned and started to stretch. Willow left the container with their dessert in it on the desk and watched her.

After a minute, she walked over and put her hands on Tara's shoulder, massaging lightly.

"Think you're ready for that work-out?"

Tara looked up and nodded shyly, then scooted back for Willow to climb in beside her. Willow didn't waste any time and got up close. She brushed her hand down Tara's arm and started to press kisses along her jaw towards her mouth.

Tara enjoyed the soft caressed and began her own on Willow's neck, tickling the hairs at the nape of her neck as their lips met. She welcomed Willow's tongue into her mouth and played with it, feeling an odd prickling sensation start on her lips after a couple of minutes.

"You're making my lips tingle," she whispered, breaking the kiss for just a moment to speak.

"Don't I always?" Willow asked in the same low tone, running her tongue along Tara's bottom lip.

Tara's lips parted invitingly at the sensation.

"Mmhh yeah, but they're extra tingly tonight."

Willow let the tip of her tongue play with the tip of Tara's and was definitely experiencing some tingles of her own, but an ache a little higher than where she'd like it was distracting her.

"Give me a minute, I'll be right back."

Tara nodded and Willow jumped up to scurry over to the bathroom. She quickly emptied her bladder and washed her hands, then did a mirror check to make sure she looked okay.

She toyed with her hair for a minute and contemplated putting some make-up on, but knew Tara would just ask her to take it off again, like she would Tara.

_Because she loves me and thinks I'm beautiful and I'm the luckiest woman in the world!_

She pulled her shirt down to try and give some allusion of cleavage, then eagerly skipped out back into the room.

"Okay, gorgeous, I hope you're ready for some Willow-fun-time."

She was confused when not only was there no response, but Tara stayed lying with her back to her.

"Tara?" she asked, wondering if her girlfriend had fallen asleep.

She walked over and put a hand on Tara's shoulder to turn her back over, then got the fright of her life when she saw her girlfriend's normal angelic face replaced with angry, red swelling, making her unrecognisable.

"Tara!"

* * *

**I know this is a horrible time to have a cliffhanger - I only found out about the hospital this morning or I would've tried to wrap it up. Sorry!**


	25. Chapter 25

**StephenPG** – The damn allergy indeed! A never-to-be-repeated mistake. I'm doing good, thank you :)

**Queenphoenix08** – She'll be in a panic first! Mia definitely has a yet-to-be-revealed mean streak, but she's not the culprit here.

**GnomeGirly** – Damage not lasting, promise. And you've got it figured out ;) Thanks for the well wishes :)

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – Haha! I bet she is indeed! Yes, it can definitely be hard to show someone they're really good. It's all in the mindset and art is something Tara enjoys so I don't think she really sees the need to be good at it, she just wants to do it. That advice re: cleavage, Willow could really use that :P Becky was very much a friend that Willow would not have met had they not been roommates so I liked the idea of making them pretty much polar opposites but still able to maintain a solid friendship.

**Emerald Demona** – Aww, thanks, I'm doing good :)

**CurlyAkemy** – You are all so sweet, I'm feeling much better! Thanks :)

**Dirty Tube Socks – **lol, you need to retake Kindergarten :P Future…somethin'! That Willow will definitely have to reign that temper in, lest it produce undesireable results. Poor Willow, I didn't make her out to be her best self in that chapter did I? In her defence, I think she would have asked about Tara's class when she calmed down a little and does intend (though will probably slip up a few times) not to psycho-analyse again as per Tara's request. The boob thing, yeah, she deserves some sense-slapping there! She's definitely be a eyes-up girl from now on (though we know from Hacker that Tara 'learned not to be jealous of Willow's preoccupation with boobs early in our relationship. We'd have way too many fights otherwise. She's just a breast-gal and I love her for it.') Evil chowder, indeed (though that one really wasn't Willow's fault! :P )

* * *

**Guys I hate to do this again and so soon but it's possible the family I'm staying with over the holidays might not have internet access so there may be another period of no update. I'm doing my best to work something out, but if I can't, happy holidays everyone :)**

* * *

_"Okay, gorgeous, I hope you're ready for some Willow-fun-time."_

_She was confused when not only was there no response, but Tara stayed lying with her back to her._

_"Tara?" she asked, wondering if her girlfriend had fallen asleep._

_She walked over and put a hand on Tara's shoulder to turn her back over, then got the fright of her life when she saw her girlfriend's normal angelic face replaced with angry, red swelling, making her unrecognisable._

_"Tara!"_

* * *

"Tara! Tara, what's wrong?!"

Willow watched in terror as Tara's hands covered her own throat. She could hear deep rasping sounds where her girlfriend was trying to take in air between her very swollen lips.

_She's choking. She's choking!_

"Tara, Tara, it's going to be okay!" she practically screamed, scrambling around to find her phone and call 911, "I-I need an ambulance at Boston College. My girlfriend, her face just swelled up and now she can't breathe! Please hurry!"

She identified their dorm building, then dropped her phone and hurried back to the bed, taking hold of one of Tara's hands.

"Tara, can you hear me? It's me, it's Willow. You're going to be okay, I promise, help is coming," she said as calmly as she could muster, which wasn't a lot, "Try not to panic, baby, breathe as best you can. It's all going to be okay, it's going to be okay."

Tara stopped squirming but was still quite obviously in distress and gasping for breath. Willow held her hands, hoping it gave her even a little comfort and repeated 'it's going to be okay' like a mantra.

The short wait for the ambulance seemed to take forever, but there was finally a loud knock on the door and 'ambulance' was called through in a deep, male voice. Willow jumped up to let the two in, a man and a woman.

They both rushed to the bed and started moving Tara onto a stretcher. An audience had gathered outside but Willow was more concerned with making sure Tara was okay, and pushed right through the crowd to follow the paramedics out to the ambulance.

"When did the symptoms onset?" the man asked her as he loaded Tara into the back while the woman went around to drive.

"Just a few minutes ago," Willow answered, seeing an opportunity to jump into the ambulance as well and took Tara's hand on the other side, "She was fine when I went into the bathroom and then when I came out she was like this."

The ambulance jolted into movement and Willow was absently aware of the sirens though was focused on the paramedic's questions as he examined Tara.

"Does she have any allergies?"

"No," Willow shook her head before realising she wasn't sure, "I-I don't know."

The paramedic tried to open Tara's swollen eyes to shine a torch in them.

"Has she come into contact with anything unusual? Please don't touch her until we know what's caused this."

Willow tried not to cry as she let Tara's hand fall away and shook her head.

"No, no, we just went out for dinner, that's the only thing different."

"What did she eat?" the paramedic asked, gently palpating around Tara's body to find any more swelling.

"Chicken and rice, there were veggies and, um, coconut," Willow replied diligently, "And a bread roll, no butter."

The paramedic began to take Tara's pulse.

"Drink?"

"Sprite," Willow answered, holding her head in her hands to try and think straight, "And a glass of water with some lemon and ice."

There was silence for a moment as the paramedic counted out Tara's pulse, then looked to Willow.

"What's her name?"

Willow looked down forlornly at her girlfriend.

"Tara. Her name's Tara."

The paramedic raised his voice, conscious of the swelling cutting off Tara's senses.

"Tara, this is the paramedic. My name is Ethan. We're bringing you to St. Elizabeth's. Do your best to take in long breaths, I know there isn't much air going in. We're going to make that a little easier for you. Don't worry, you're in safe hands."

"I'm here too, baby," Willow added, squeezing her palms together so as not to accidentally touch Tara and make her worse.

The paramedic shot Willow a momentary look, before resuming doing what he could to aid Tara's immediate breathing problem.

If Willow thought the wait for the ambulance had been long, the short five mile journey to the hospital seemed to take hours to get through. Willow tried to follow as Tara was pulled from the back of the ambulance and through the ER doors, but was distracted as the paramedic said something to her along the way.

"Say you're her sister."

He disappeared and started spouting off facts to the doctors that had met them; leaving Willow momentarily confused before she snapped to attention and followed again. She tried to skid into the resus room Tara was wheeled into, but a stout male doctor cut in front of her before she had a chance.

"Who are you?"

"Her gir–" Willow started to answer, before remembering the paramedic's advice, "H-her sister."

The doctor nodded and started flipping a chart he had in his hands.

"Any known allergies?"

"Not that I know of," Willow replied, then realised that was something a 'sister' should know, "But we, um, didn't grow up together. Our…dad…had two families."

The doctor looked disbelieving for a second before shaking his head, not caring.

"This looked like an ingested allergic reaction, we're treating it as one. Did it come on suddenly?" he asked and Willow nodded, "Was she complaining of any pain or unusual sensation?"

Willow tried to think.

"She said…her lips were tingling? But we– I mean, um, yeah, she said her lips were tingling…a lot."

The doctor nodded, writing it down.

"And how long before this started did she eat?"

"An hour maybe," Willow replied, the whole ordeal feeling like it had been days and not minutes, "She was fine walking home."

The doctor scratched his head then continued writing.

"And what was she doing when the symptoms came on?"

Willow swallowed, remembering the awful shock of walking out and seeing Tara like that, realising how terrified her girlfriend must have been.

"I-I was in the bathroom."

The doctor sighed.

"What was the last thing you saw her doing?"

Willow shuffled uncomfortably.

"We were…talking."

_With our tongues._

"Any medications? Drugs, anything like that?"

Willow shook her head again.

"No, nothing like that. She barely even takes a Tylenol unless it's really bad."

The doctor flipped the chart closed and started to make his way to the resus room.

"We're treating her symptoms right now and getting her comfortable, breathing easy. If you go wait in the waiting room, I'll come get you when we've stabilised her."

He disappeared before Willow had a chance to respond, then a nurse approached and slammed another clip board into her chest.

"Fill these in for her."

Willow was at a complete loss for a moment, before finally skulking out to the waiting room. She dropped into the nearest chair she could find and started to fill out the form.

After filling in Tara's name, date of birth and address, she started to find herself stumped by the remaining pages of questions.

_Insurance? Does she have insurance? I hope she lets me help pay for this if she doesn't…she can't be lumped with medical bills, she has nothing. Do I even have enough to help? Maybe she uses the school insurance...better leave it blank for now._

She listed herself as emergency contact, figuring Tara wouldn't object to that, but her pen stalled again when it came to the medical history section.

_Last flu shot…last tetanus…? I don't… I don't know._

She felt like she was taking an exam that she should know the answers too but didn't.

_Why don't I know this stuff? I should know this stuff. I'm her girlfriend, I'm her love… we've talked about growing old together for god's sake and I don't even know if she's had a lousy flu shot?_

She skipped down again and tried to find a question she could answer.

_Well I know she's not pregnant, unless I have skills I didn't even know I had… menstruation started… I know it was after her mom died… she told me that horrible story of thinking she was dying and being happy about it._

She felt the same stomach lurch thinking about that as she had hearing it and quickly scribbled in '11' before moving on, though the next set of questions didn't help her repulsion settling in as nausea.

_Serious trauma or broken bones? Did she say her dad…? Wrist fracture? Were there more? God, what did he do to her? I never asked… I shut down. She said he abused her and I shut down… went behind her back and didn't even listen._

She tossed the clipboard into the empty seat, too overcome with all kinds of emotion to try and answer any more questions. She lifted her legs and curled up into a ball, then began to sob, not caring what she looked like to the other patients and visitors waiting.

Her tears dried up after a couple of minutes but she didn't move, preferring the darkness behind her eyes to the harsh strobe lights of the waiting room.

Time had become something beyond her grasp; some seconds ticking by like hours, some minutes passing in a second.

Eventually though, someone tapped on her shoulder, and she looked up to a large male orderly.

"Are you Tara's sister?"

She nodded quickly.

"Uh, yeah, yeah, that's me!"

The orderly gestured over his shoulder.

"Doc sent me out to get you, says you can come on in."

Willow jumped up and hugged him, overcome with relief.

"Thank you!"

The orderly smiled and led her back through the ER and to a treatment room in the back. She thanked him again, then politely knocked, though was bouncing on her toes to see Tara hopefully well.

The door opened after a moment by the same doctor as earlier, but Willow's gaze shot straight to Tara sitting on the bed in a hospital gown, her cheeks and eyes still puffed but considerably less so than before.

"Willow," Tara said, relief in her voice as she smiled for the first time in a while.

"Hi," Willow said in utter relief, rushing over to be by her side, "Hi."

"I was just telling Tara she had a severe allergic reaction, what we call anaphylaxis," the doctor interrupted their moment by closing the door again, "Do you know if you have any allergies?"

Tara gave a little nod.

"Uh huh."

"You do?" Willow asked, feeling stupid for not knowing.

Tara nodded again.

"Shrimp."

"Shrimp?" Willow repeated, confused.

The doctor ignored Willow's repetitiveness and focused on Tara.

"Did you eat any shrimp today? Or any other shellfish?"

Tara shook her head.

"Could you have eaten something cooked in the same oil?" the doctor asked.

"There was shrimp in my chowder," Willow spoke up, trying to be helpful, "I-I'd never had shrimp in chowder before, that's why I got it."

The doctor nodded that that could be a possibility.

"Did you try her chowder? Share silverware?"

Tara shook her head again and the doctor sighed.

"Well unless you were kissing, I don't think that could be the cause."

Willow and Tara shared a sidelong glance, which the doctor caught and looked completely off-guard.

"You were kissing your sister?"

"Sister?" Tara questioned, an eyebrow rising.

Willow squirmed in place that she'd been caught out in a lie.

"They weren't gonna let me in!"

The doctor shook his head again.

"Okay, I didn't hear that," he said, wanting to get on with business, "In future, brush your teeth well and wait at least six hours before… engaging after consuming any shellfish."

"I'm never eating any again, don't worry," Willow puffed out in a breath, feeling horrible for being the cause of everything.

The doctor checked the vitals machine Tara was hooked up to was secure, then made his way to the door.

"We want to keep you here until the swelling goes down completely and to make sure you don't get a return of your symptoms. It'll be a couple of hours," he said, then shook his head at them once again, "Just be grateful kissing is as far as you got."

Willow's brow creased as he left.

"What does he mean by– oh."

She realised and saw Tara wince and cross her legs. There was a moment of awkward silence before Tara reached out rub Willow's shoulder.

"Your eyes are red."

Willow turned back and caught Tara's hand, kissing it like she had in the ambulance.

"I was worried," she said, dismissing it, "Tara, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"I should have realised," Tara replied with a shake of her head, "I didn't know kissing could do that. It's not your fault, it's mine."

"Well I meant it, no more shrimp for me," Willow replied with a stern shake of her head, "Never risking this again. You must have been so scared, god."

Tara nodded shyly.

"Not an experience I'd like to repeat. Thank god you were there."

"Well if I wasn't there, it wouldn't have happened in the first place, but I know what you mean," Willow replied, gently cupping Tara's puffed cheek, "Does it hurt baby?"

Tara leaned her head down into Willow's touch.

"It's a little tender but that's helping."

Willow gently rubbed her thumb over Tara's skin until the door abruptly opened again. The same mean-spirited nurse that had shoved the forms at Willow all but threw it at the end of the bed.

"Fill these out."

She almost slammed the door closed and Willow shot a snarl to follow her, before picking up the familiar clipboard.

"This stupid form," she said, sighing deeply, "I'm sorry, I filled out all I could… realised I didn't know much."

Tara took the form and smiled softly when she saw what Willow had managed.

"You remember when I got my period?"

Willow just forced a smile, not wanting to say that story was burned into her brain. She watched Tara try to pick up the pen, but noticed her hands were trembling still, probably from the shot of adrenaline she'd gotten.

"Your hands are shaking. I can fill it out if you tell me what to write."

Tara nodded and passed the clipboard back, then started to read down the questions as Willow held it up.

"Um, I have insurance details on a card in my wallet… it's the school one."

Willow breathed a sigh of relief that she had some and found Tara's pants in the bag of her clothes at the end of her bed. She got Tara's wallet out and found the card, then started to scribble down the details.

They worked their way through the rest of the form until they reached the last section, the one Willow was dreading.

"Serious trauma and broken bones. I-I know your wrist," she said, her own hand starting to shake too, "I never asked… listened. What he really… did."

"Oh," Tara replied, turning her hands around themselves, "My fingers were broken too and I-I had a few concussions. Just bruises apart from that."

Willow whole face contorted as she tried to hold back tears, but eventually dropped the pretence and threw her arms around Tara, holding her close.

"Never again. I'm going to take care of you. I promise."

Tara closed the embrace gently, concerned by Willow's tears.

"Willow? Are you okay?"

Willow pulled away and started wiping at her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just… you being hurt… can't stand it. Can't stand the thought of someone doing that, can't stand the thought I did this to you."

"You didn't," Tara soothed gently, "It was a messy accident. One we won't make again."

Willow looked down at Tara's hands, the ones that touched her and loved her, imagining them being broken with a cruelty she far from deserved.

"You shouldn't have had to go through what you went through."

Tara realised how upset her abusive past really made Willow and gently dropped her hand to entwine their fingers.

"My hands truly healed the first time I touched you."

Willow almost burst into fresh tears at that, but managed to rein it in. She moved to rest her forehead against Tara's, letting their noses brush so she could be as close to her as possible without kissing her.

"Do you remember the first time you did your Tarot cards with me?" she asked, her voice full of emotion, "Do you remember I got the card, the Lovers card… and you said it often indicated a soulmate connection?"

Tara just nodded and Willow managed to move closer still.

"You're my soulmate. I knew it then and I know it now, but now I'll really say it. You're all I want, forever. You're my always, Tara."

Tara reached up to touch Willow's cheek in the same way.

"You were really scared, huh?"

"Yes," Willow replied, "But that's not why I'm saying it. I'm saying it because it's true."

Tara eyes filled with love.

"I-I'd kiss you now if I could."

Willow took in a shaky breath, then gently lifted her hand to her own lips and pressed a kiss against two of her fingers, before pressing those fingers against Tara's lips. She nuzzled their noses together for a moment, then smiled.

"Your cheeks are going down."

Tara could only smile too.

"I don't even want to know what I look like."

"Beautiful, always," Willow replied, then sat up on the bed beside Tara, "So how do we kill a couple of hours without making out?"

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"Want to play thumb wars?"

"Okay," Willow agreed, and offered her thumb for duelling.

They passed the time playing and laughing, Tara's face returning almost completely to normal in that time.

"Hey, no fair, cheater!" Willow giggled as Tara caught her thumb once again, "Okay, okay, I admit defeat. You are the thumb war queen."

"You were a worthy opponent," Tara replied gallantly.

Willow smiled and squeezed Tara's knee, just as the doctor came back into the room.

"You're looking much better, Tara," he commented and walked over to examine her face, "How are you feeling? Any itchiness, shortness of breath?"

Tara shook her head and the doctor started detaching the wires sticking out of her.

"You're free to go, but you should carry an EpiPen around with you, even if you're careful about being…" he trailed off and cast a glance at Willow, "Exposed. I'll write you a prescription."

He scribbled on a notepad, then tore the page off and handed it to her before leaving again. Willow offered her hand and helped Tara down, then guided them back through the busy ER and out onto the street. The temperature had dropped considerably, so Willow quickly removed her sweater and put it over Tara's shoulders.

"Don't even try and argue," she said when she saw Tara about to protest, "I just want to get you home safe."

Tara gratefully pulled the sweater a little tighter.

"There's a T station a couple of blocks from here."

Willow didn't seem agreeable.

"It's late."

"They run 'til 12.30," Tara replied, though had no idea what the time actually was.

Willow knew they could catch one of the last couple of trains but really wasn't in the mood to avoid the sleazes and drunks the train attracted at that hour.

"Would you object horribly if I got us a cab? It's only a mile or two, it won't be much. We've had a long night."

Tara just nodded, she wasn't keen on the idea either. They walked over to a cab rank set up outside the hospital and got a cab quickly.

They sat silently but close for the whole ride home and quickly made their way into their room, but Willow almost tripped when she stepped on a pile of torn pieces of paper, some different colours.

"What the frilly heck are those?"

Tara bent down to pick a few up and looked at what was written.

"They're get well wishes," she said with a soft, embarrassed smile, "Guess I made a bit of a scene getting out of here. People are really nice."

"That is nice," Willow agreed, looking at them over Tara's shoulders.

Tara got them all in a pile and left them on her desk to look through properly the next morning; she was too tired to think about them then. Willow noticed and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Do you want some jammies?"

Tara turned towards Willow shyly.

"Can we sleep close?"

"'Course we can," Willow replied softly, understanding the request for nude slumbering.

They both got their teeth brushed and clothes off before climbing into bed, facing each other. Willow put an arm around Tara's waist, then gave a soft sigh.

"No goodnight kiss," she said sadly, "It's been a while since I've tried to sleep without one of those."

"It'll be okay by the morning," Tara tried to comfort, though felt just as forlorn at the idea.

Willow pressed their bodies together, then a long kiss against Tara's cheek.

"Upon thy cheek I lay this zealous kiss, as seal to the indenture of my love," she recited, then smiled sheepishly, "I'm turning into Becky with the literature quotes."

Tara reached a hand up to brush some hair from Willow's brow, then let her mouth get close enough that their lips were grazing agonisingly close without really touching.

"Soul meets soul on lovers' lips," she whispered.

Willow was scared to move, to break their contact. It was one of the most intimate moments they'd shared.

"What's that from?" she whispered back.

Tara moved her hand down to Willow's ear, gently caressing it.

"An old closet drama… Prometheus Unbound… I found it in our old school library in high school."

It took all Willow had not to kiss Tara right then.

"I like it."

"Me too," Tara replied, then turned her head to whisper right in Willow's ear, "I love you, Willow."

Willow smiled and waited for Tara to come back and meet her eye again.

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul," she said, bumping their noses together, "Judy Garland... she wrote a book of poems in the 30's for her friends."

Tara smiled back and started to gently trace Willow's features.

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you," she said, her eyes creasing affectionately, "Winnie the Pooh."

Willow was lost in Tara's eyes, in the emotion shining through and coming from her voice but smiled big at that.

"No matter what happens, I'll always be with you. Forever," she replied, feeling her heart race at being so open, "Pocahontas. The Disney one."

Tara started to cuddle into Willow, loving the feel of their flush skin against each other.

"A well spent day brings happy sleep," she said, slipping her feet between Willow's, "Leonardo da Vinci."

"Well spent?" Willow questioned.

"It was with you," Tara replied, taking her turn of forcing herself to deny a kiss, "Any time spent with you is good."

Willow took a long, slow breath, then wrapped her arms around Tara and brought her in close.

"Goodnight, Tara. This is how I want to fall asleep every night. Always."

Tara did similar so they were as close together as possible.

"Goodnight Willow. This is where I want to be. Forever."


	26. Chapter 26

**GnomeGirly** – It was a very delicate situation for all involved, I think they're stronger for it now though! It wasn't too much of a money issue…I think it's fair to be worried about medical bills when an emergency presents itself. Glad you enjoyed the chapter and Happy New Year :)

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – You're totally right, it definitely did! This won't be the last time Tara's in hospital so Willow definitely develops a horrible sense of hospitals meaning Tara's sick. Hope your holidays were good too!

**Emerald Demona** – Uh huh, there was definitely some luck in that break trip to the bathroom! `

**Queenphoenix08** – Nope, no assault unless you count a shrimp assault! Glad you enjoyed the dorm stuff :)

**sunnysoph91** – Oh wow, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :) :)

**CurlyAkemy** – And many happy returns! :) Glad you enjoyed the update! :D

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Writing in cursive is dumb. I had a huge crush on my Kindergarten teacher though. I don't think I've ever asked someone if they were allergic to something :P I don't think we can doubt Willow's love, to be fair…I think she was genuine when she said she wasn't thinking about anything sexual. She'll definitely be putting it all away in the Tara file!

**Cameron** – Hi there :) My fics always tend to be plot and substance-lite and consist mostly of filler chapters, without much overarching plot so I haven't really changed the tune much here. I'm sorry that you're finding it boring. My intention is to share as much W/T joy as possible and honestly it's quite possible my form of writing is just getting stale given much my style stays the same. But I still love to write it and the main reason I write is because of the joy it brings me so I'll keep doing what I'm doing, I have a whole four years to try and cover and the time jumps with likely become more evident so things don't get even more repetitive. I appreciate your input.

* * *

Tara awoke to the sound of quiet, vaguely recognisable voices coming from somewhere in the room. She opened her eyes and was momentarily disappointed to see the other side of the bed empty, but caught site of the back of Willow's head, where she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, snuggled up to a blanket and watching Sylvester chase Tweety across the screen.

"Mmhh, morning," she greeted sleepily.

Willow turned her head and initially smiled, then looked apologetic.

"Sorry, did the TV wake you?"

Tara shook her head softly.

"What are you watching?"

"Cartoons," Willow admitted sheepishly, "Kinda a Sunday morning ritual. I know, mega with the babyness."

She expected Tara to look at her weirdly and roll over to go back asleep like Becky always had when catching her in such a position, but instead watched in delight as Tara got up and sat with her.

"I love Porky Pig."

Willow had a moment of wondering if that was maybe because of a small stutter she'd picked up her girlfriend having on occasion and the shared impediment with the cartoon pig, but didn't want to embarrass Tara by bringing it up.

"I like Daffy."

"He's good too," Tara agreed, then snuggled into her to share the blanket.

They enjoyed the cartoons in companionable silence for a while until Willow's belly gave a low but audible rumble.

"Do we have anything to eat?" she asked, wrapping her arms around her knees, "I don't wanna get dressed."

She watched as Tara crawled over to the mini-fridge, appreciating the way her butt wiggled as she did so.

"Applesauce?" Tara asked, turned back around with a small tub and plastic spoon.

Willow nodded eagerly and got the blanket ready for Tara to slip back under, then pecked her cheek as she got comfortable.

"I love you, Tara."

Tara smiled and pulled the foil lid of the tub back.

"You're just saying that because I have the applesauce."

"You got me," Willow giggled and went to take the spoon of applesauce offered, but Tara pulled it back at the last second and grinned.

"You have to ask like Elmur Fudd."

Willow looked around suspiciously and lowered her voice.

"Be vewy vewy quiet… I'm hunting bweakfast!"

Tara laughed loudly and whizzed the spoon into Willow's mouth before taking some herself.

"What do you want to do today?"

"Lots of you and lots of relaxing," Willow answered, taking another spoonful as offered.

"We could take a stroll to the library after lunch… find a book to read together," Tara suggested and Willow nodded keenly.

"I'd love to read with you. I always hated people reading over my shoulder, but it sounds fun with you. Maybe a book of poems or something."

She bounced excitedly in place, then smiled and leaned down to rest her head on Tara's shoulder, sighing contentedly when she began to play with her girlfriend's hair.

"This is how Sunday's are meant to be."

* * *

"Don't close the curtains."

Tara paused with her hands on the fabric and looked over to where Willow was lying on the bed, book propped up on her chest.

"Why? It's dark."

Willow watched how the moonlight cast Tara's face aglow and smiled.

"I just like being able to see the full moon."

Tara remained quiet for a moment, imagining the early-morning summer sun rising her earlier than she'd like to, but couldn't deny Willow anything.

"Okay, sweetie."

Willow smiled, pleased and patted the bed beside her. Tara obliged and kicked off her shoes, then settled in. Willow put an arm around her and held the book up between them.

"Oh look at this one," she said, pointing to a particular passage, "And on that cheek, and o'er that brow, so soft, so calm, yet eloquent. The smiles that win, the tints that glow, but tell of days in goodness spent. A mind at peace with all below, a heart whose love is innocent."

She smiled over at Tara, then leaned in to press a long kiss against her cheek.

"That is you summed up perfectly in 19th century lyrical imagery."

Tara smiled shyly and pecked Willow's cheek back, then pointed to a different poem.

"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows, here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide, and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart…I carry your heart…I carry it in my heart."

She traced her finger under the last line for a moment, then placed her hand over Willow's heart. Willow covered Tara's hand and held it there for a minute before lifting to kiss her palm.

"I wish I could write words like that to tell you how I feel."

"I bet you could," Tara replied, brushing Willow's cheek with her finger affectionately.

Willow blushed and shook her head.

"I love to read but was never much for the writing outside of my journal."

"Try it," Tara said encouragingly.

Willow pursed her lips in thought.

"My beauty, my sweet, my wonderful Tara…I love you more than the… Mesozoic Era?"

She trailed off lamely but Tara just smiled.

"I didn't know you were so into reptiles."

"Hey, they have their place, in ecology and medicine and whatnot," Willow defended, then just giggle, "At least I tried."

"That was better than anything I've read in this book," Tara replied genuinely, "Because it came from you."

Willow smiled and curled into Tara's side.

"Your turn."

Tara put her arm around Willow's waist and leaned her head on her girlfriend's shoulder.

"You are my love, my warmth, my shining sky. My broken eyes no longer cry. Hold my heart, keep it close. Because you're the one I love the most."

Willow turned her head into Tara's neck for a moment and took her in fresh vanilla-esque scent. Her hands reached up to cup Tara's cheeks and her lips followed, kissing each of her eyes, then squarely on the mouth.

"If a kiss could tell you how much I love you, I'd never stop."

"It does," Tara replied softly.

Willow nuzzled their noses together.

"Then I guess I better not stop."

She met Tara's lips softly again and started to try and shift on top of her, but the book they'd been reading stopped her with a dig in the ribcage.

She reached between them to get it out, then as she leaned over to leave it on the nightstand, managed to roll on top of Tara too.

"All these poems are stirring some…romantic feelings in me."

Tara reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind each of Willow's ears, before slowly running her hands down her girlfriend's arms.

"What kind of romantic feelings?"

Willow dropped her mouth to Tara's ear and lowered her tone to a whisper.

"The kind that makes me want to be inside you."

She heard Tara gasp and nibbled on her earlobe for a moment, before she felt eager hands yanking at her shirt. She sat up to aid with the disrobing and worked on freeing Tara of her own clothing.

She was quickly becoming blinded by lust; the deep, carnal, raw desire that only Tara could bring out in her. What she loved even more was feeling like she could bring out that same need in Tara; like Tara couldn't get enough of her; like she was her drug.

She felt the arousal between her legs start to spill out onto her thighs and was glad when Tara removed her panties, though did shiver at the rush of cold air against her now nude body.

Her eyes dropped to rake over Tara's naked chest and her hands instantly went to grab, but made a detour on the way to pull her panties off, which she did a little too zestfully, if the ripping sound was any indication.

"Sorry, I think I ripped them a little bit," she said, holding them up to see how bad the tear was.

Tara sat up to press their chests together.

"It doesn't matter."

"I'll get you a new pair," Willow assured, "Any pair you lik–"

"Willow, kiss me," Tara cut her off softly.

Willow didn't need much convincing. She caught Tara's lips and pushed her onto her back. She leaned right over Tara so their bodies grazed in the way that set her on fire.

She stopped for a moment to appreciate Tara's beauty, then quickly reached up to turn the lamp switch off and resumed the kiss.

Tara accepted Willow's mouth on hers but didn't do much reciprocation; she was distracted by the unusual darkness of the room.

She felt Willow's hand slide down her chest and to her stomach; where, to her, it felt like it sank slowly in to her skin.

Suddenly self-conscious, she pushed Willow's waist away from hers and turned her head away.

"I-It's just water weight."

"Hmmm?" Willow asked, only half listening as she left kisses on what she saw as the offered cheek.

Tara reached down to move Willow's hand away from her stomach.

"It's just water weight. It'll be gone in a few days, we can wait."

Willow finally realised she was being rebuffed and moved back to give Tara some space.

"What are you talking about?"

Tara was subconsciously sucking in her belly.

"I know I look a little chunky–"

"Whoa, wait, what?" Willow questioned, utterly confused, "Chunky? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I have some extra weight on right now," Tara replied uncomfortably, "Water retention. You know…PMS stuff."

Willow's face softened.

"Don't be silly. You look gorgeous. More so every day."

Tara cast a sidelong glance to the lamp.

"Then why did you turn the light off?"

"Because, because the moon," Willow rushed to explain, pointing out the window where the moonlight was streaming through and hitting Tara's face, "See it's hitting you just right and you look so…heavenly. Goddess-like. Radiant, beautiful, angelic…do I need to go on?"

Tara looked towards the window and caught the glimmer of the moon.

"Oh."

"We can turn the lamp back on if you want," Willow replied, giving her a soft peck, "I always want to see you, every bit of you."

Tara continued to look at their light source, then smiled up at Willow.

"No, it's okay."

"Do you still want to?" Willow asked, trying to hide her hopefulness, "I totally get it if you feel bloated and yucky, not that you look it, at all."

Tara felt the earlier fire reignite in her belly and smiled shyly.

"I feel a little icky but I think I know how I want to feel better."

Willow felt her heart quicken and situated her body back over Tara's. She felt Tara arch into her and cross her wrists over her neck.

"My world settles into place when I feel you close to me."

Tara's hands moved up Willow's head to massage her scalp.

"I can't get enough of you."

Willow brought her mouth close to Tara's.

"I'm all yours."

Tara pulled Willow's head gently the rest of the way down and kissed her passionately. Willow's moan was swallowed as she eagerly responded and let her hands find Tara's breasts again.

She pinched Tara's nipples until it was hard, then took a brief break from kissing to let her tongue roam there, before returning to her girlfriend's lips. She felt Tara's legs spread underneath her and adjusted herself to accommodate. As her hips twisted, her core brushed against Tara's.

She let out a long groan at the sensation and rolled herself into Tara again. She felt Tara pull at her hips and tried for a more insistent motion, but opted to use her hand when she couldn't quite find the angle she was looking for.

Tara moaned softly as Willow wet her fingers between her lips, then began to slide up and down and against her clit.

"Oh, Willow."

Willow loved when Tara said her name at the best of times; but when it escaped her lips with such a raw, erotic purr, she felt like she was melting into a puddle of desire.

"Oh Tara," she said in the same tone, coupling it with series of kisses along Tara's jaw.

Tara's hands dug into the skin of her girlfriend's back, below her shoulders, then gasped loudly when Willow found her entrance and thrust inside. She pushed herself so she was sitting so she could have better control, crossing her legs behind Willow's back for stability. Her lips dropped into Willow's neck and nipped at her sensitive skin.

Willow groaned softly and looked over Tara's shoulder to watch how her back muscles rippled in the moonlight. She pressed her lips onto Tara's shoulder-blade and worked her way inwards until she felt her girlfriend's hand brush against hers between them, then down further to caress her folds.

She gasped and maneuvered her hips to accommodate, but when Tara pushed back at the same time, they just ended up falling into each other and back onto the bed in a tangled mess of limbs.

Tara locked her knees in at her girlfriend's hips as Willow's warm body melded into her. She pushed her hips up as Willow began thrusting into her again and let her own hand squirm between them and inside her girlfriend. She moaned loudly at the combination of sensation and was quick to speed up as Willow's hips demanded.

Willow felt her breath becoming ragged, almost unable to catch it, as the cloud of lust and nearing orgasm stretched out within her. Tara's hot mouth was like a red-hot poker against her neck and chest, burning her in the best possible way.

She lifted Tara's up to kiss her, but kept her eyes open so she could see that moon-glow she loved so much.

Tara was gasping into the kiss every few seconds, pulling air from Willow as pleasure radiated out from her. Her hips lifted with the intense final slam and her neck arched back against the pillow. Her legs dropped flat on the bed and she felt Willow continue to thrust atop her for a few more seconds before she stilled and let out a low, rumbling groan.

Willow's body finally dropped, causing Tara to take in a sharp breath and make a hasty reach for the water bottle on the nightstand. She unscrewed the top and took a long glug while wiping her brow of the sweat beads that had formed.

"Want some?" she asked hazily, putting the top at Willow's lips.

Willow turned her head just enough to fix her mouth around it and gulped the rest down. When it was empty, Tara let the bottle fall to the floor and Willow dropped her head again to be cushioned by her girlfriend's breast.

"Wow."

All was silent for a few minutes as Tara idly twirled the ends of Willow's hair, before finally speaking.

"I-I think we're getting better at that."

Willow turned her head in on Tara's pressed and left a soft kiss there, then smiled.

"Yeah, no kidding."

Tara's hips squirmed and she smiled back bashfully.

"I liked that thing…with the rubbing."

"Oh yeah, that was very nice," Willow agreed, her cheeks calming from a bright red to a flushed pink, "We should, we should work on that."

Tara nodded, quite willing.

"Okay."

Willow rested for another few minutes, then lifted herself up and shuffled up so they were face-to-face. She smiled, pecked Tara, then started to nuzzle into her neck.

Tara tilted her neck to allow her more access and stretched her body right down to her toes in satisfaction.

"Are you leaving a mark? I can't wear a scarf in the middle of summer to work tomorrow."

Willow pulled away an inch to look and cleared her throat.

"Your hair will cover it…" she assured, patting Tara's hair over the mark, "Besides it'll probably be the most exciting gossip the old biddies have had in a long time."

Tara shot Willow a look.

"They're nice, don't be mean."

"But they're worse than a nattering mothers' knitting circle!" Willow argued, remembering past experiences with the 'chatty' women of the administrative offices when trying to sort her own paperwork, "Talking about their neighbours and stuff while I'm standing there like an idiot trying to get a form."

"They've always been very kind to me," Tara replied with a gentle shrug, "They just like to…chinwag."

"Chinwag," Willow giggled, taking Tara's chin between her fingers and moving it back and forth, "That sounds like you're shaking your chin at me. I am very mad at you Willow, don't make me chinwag!"

Tara smiled but lifted Willow's hand away to entwine their fingers.

"You've only ever been in the admin offices to hand in paperwork. I spent all last summer and winter break with them. You're misjudging them."

Willow realised she was being kind of nasty and gave a short nod.

"Okay, Tara. Sorry if I was dismissive."

Tara pecked her cheek in forgiveness.

"Are you excited about your class?"

Willow smiled nervously.

"Hope I don't do something stupid like take a picture with the lens on."

"You'll be great," Tara reassured, squeezing their palms together.

"You'll have to be my model," Willow replied, starting to grin.

Tara nodded genuinely.

"I'll do whatever I can to help."

Willow let her gaze drop slowly down Tara's body.

"Maybe I could get a couple of naked…" she started, then clamped her mouth shut when she caught the look on Tara's face, "Or maybe not."

She brought both her hands up and made a rectangle shape with her fingers to use as a camera.

"I want a shot like this though. Moonlit Tara. Hitting your face," she said, letting her 'camera' slowly pan down Tara's face, "Then if it was okay with you, your back…stretched out…your muscles rippling…"

She paused and noticed Tara giving her a curious look, then blushed.

"When we were…I caught a glimpse…it was so sexy."

Tara's cheeks tinged too but she seemed pleased to be described as such.

"My back would be okay," she replied shyly, "Just as long as my butt was covered up."

Willow bounced up giddily at the thought of having Tara really model for her like that and dropped a warm kiss on her lips.

"No one is seeing your butt but me," she said with a definitive nod of her head, then giggled, "Butt but me."

Tara giggled too and kissed Willow's nose affectionately.

"You're silly."

"You love me," Willow countered, flashing a smile.

"I love you," Tara confirmed, then her lips quirked up on one side with a grin, "No if's, ands, or butts about it!"

* * *

"Tara?"

"Uh huh?" Tara asked without looking up from where she was fixing her shirt in the mirror.

When she received no response, she looked over to where Willow's voice was coming from the bathroom, her head poked out the door.

"Are you okay sweetie?"

Willow was blushing and Tara guessed doing an awkward shuffle behind the door based on the repeated sound of footsteps.

"Do you have a, um, tampon? Or a pad, anything."

Tara nodded and quickly went to the stash of tampons in the drawer of her desk. She picked one from the box and brought it over to Willow, who took it with a grateful smile, then closed the door again.

She appeared out a few minutes later, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry. I'm normally on top of it, but it showed up a few days early."

Tara looked up and smiled from where she was pulling some boots on.

"Funny, I was late and just started this morning too."

Willow thought about that for a moment.

"Do you think our cycles synced up?"

Tara's brow creased as she tied the laces.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there's this theory out there that women who lived close together, their cycles would sync up," Willow explained, giving a soft shrug, "It's never been definitively proven or anything, but it's an idea. Seems to fit."

"Did your cycle sync with Becky's?" Tara enquired, the first she'd ever heard of such a phenomenon.

"No," Willow shook her head, then grinned, "But I spend at least 8 extra hours with you a night a lot closer than I ever did with Becky."

Tara smiled back but Willow's faltered.

"This means we're going to be cranky together."

"I don't get too cranky normally," Tara replied, standing up.

"Of course you don't, you're an angel," Willow replied, taking a gentle hold of her waist, "I make no promises, but I'll try and be good."

"I don't mind a little crank," Tara said lovingly, letting her hands rest on Willow's shoulders, "Maybe one of my tummy rubs might even help."

Willow's eyes shone with hopefulness.

"Can I have one right now? I get the worst cramps."

"Of course you can, sweetie," Tara replied, pulling her close, "C'mere."

They lay down on the bed together and Tara let her front curl around Willow's back as her hand slipped beneath her girlfriend's shirt and started to rub gently.

"What time's your class?" she enquired, leaving a small kiss behind Willow's ear.

"Eleven," Willow answered, closing her eyes and sighing happily.

Tara glanced at the alarm clock and saw she still had a few minutes.

"I have to start at nine."

Willow started to pout.

"Will you be gone all day?"

"I finish at one," Tara replied with a soft shake of her head, "And the tours don't start until August so I'll be free every afternoon until then."

"I _suppose_I can cope," Willow replied with a dramatic sigh, "This feels really good. Your hands just know how to touch me everywhere, don't they?"

Tara smiled softly.

"They're learning."

"They just know," Willow replied in a quiet breath, relaxing more with every gentle rub.

Tara continued to rub her palm around Willow's stomach in soft circles and hummed quietly in her ear for a few minutes until the clock told her she needed to leave. She gently kissed Willow's cheek.

"Sweetie, I have to go, I'm sorry."

She waited a moment but when Willow didn't respond, peered over and saw her girlfriend had fallen asleep. She gently extracted herself and covered Willow with the blanket, then set the alarm so she wouldn't miss her class.

She gathered her things in her satchel, then quickly scribbled a note for Willow and left it on the nightstand with a kiss to her forehead.

_They say break a leg for actors, what do they say for photographers? Break a shutter-button finger? I know you're nervous about messing up, so I'll say don't break anything. You'll do great, I know you will._

_Love you lots,_

_T x_


	27. Chapter 27

**QueenPhoenix08** – Glad you enjoyed it :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Yeah, it's a confusing one, but the way I envision her looking is in a 'whoa look at those' kind of way. I'm just basing this on personal experience where I'm like 'holy crap those are big boobs' but I'm genuinely not thinking I want to touch them etc etc. Maybe I'm just really fucking weird though, that wouldn't be too big of a stretch :P More restless references to come!

* * *

Willow loitered outside the classroom where her first photography class was due to start in just a matter of minutes.

Her stomach had turned from cramps to butterflies after waking up from her mid-morning nap, as it always did when she had a new class to start and no idea how it would go.

She had Tara's note folded up in her pocket. The thought of having Tara's reassurance and belief in her close by comforted her and made it easier to walk through the doors to the room full of strangers.

"What class did you flunk?"

Willow jumped back in fright at the sound of a female someone talking to her as she entered.

"Sorry?"

"What class did you flunk that made you stay here over summer?" the girl, with long blonde hair flowing down her back and a nail file in her hands, asked, "Mine was Political Science. I mean, who cares about the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, really, it was like, at least a hundred years ago. Thank god I can fill up my other credits with micky mouse classes like this."

"A thousand years ago, and it was pretty important actually," Willow replied, only to get a blank look, "Um, I didn't flunk anything. I wanted to stay on campus so I signed up for a class."

The girl quirked an eyebrow at her, then rolled her eyes and resumed filing her nails. Willow quickly moved on.

_Well there's one friend already. Not._

She found a chair in the corner and sat down, but quickly jumped up when the professor waltzed in, a tall woman with frizzy brown hair and thick glasses, carrying a large box which she left on the desk at the front.

"Everybody take a camera."

Never one to disobey an order from a teacher, Willow went over and chose one of the cameras. She signed her name beside the number on the sign-out sheet and went back to her seat.

When everyone had taken one, the professor took her personal camera from a bag on the floor.

"Your camera is your baby. Treat it with respect. Through your lens you'll learn a whole new focus on life."

Willow held the eyeviewer up to her eye, but everything through it looked almost the same, if a little distorted. She listened diligently as all the functions were explained, then they were paired up to work on some basic portrait shots.

"Lucas, with Willow please."

Willow looked up to see a sandy-haired man approach her with a warm smile. She shook his hand.

"Hi Lucas, I'm Willow."

She didn't notice the appreciative once-over he gave her, too eager to get on with taking her first 'official' photograph.

"So will I go first?"

He nodded.

"Sure. Make sure you get my good side."

Willow smiled and held the camera up again. She experimented with a step forward and a step back and tilting her head back until she found an angle she thought was nice and snapped it.

She then let the camera hang around her neck and smiled awkwardly while Lucas took the picture of her. Their professor made her way around the room to them to review everyone's photo.

"Nice," she said with a smile to Willow, "Don't be afraid to get down and dirty to get your shot."

Lucas smirked over at Willow as the professor moved off.

"Sounds like we have to get down and dirty."

"The floor looks pretty clean," Willow replied obliviously, sitting down on it and leaned back to get a long shot of Lucas's torso and face, "That looks good."

Lucas misinterpreted that as a compliment on himself and smiled smugly.

The professor announced the end of class just a minute later, then started to scribble on the white board.

"Assignment for Thursday: Nature."

Willow started to pack her camera away, but Lucas hovered near.

"Hey, you want to work on that assignment together?" he asked, his tone heavy with flirtation, "We can get…au natural."

"Okay," Willow shrugged, figuring it might be easier to understand the assignment with someone else, "I'm free this afternoon."

Lucas's face lit up like a child on Christmas morning.

"Awesome," he replied, folding his arms gently across his chest, "We must be in the same residence building, I'm 317."

"Um, okay," Willow replied, gathering her things, "I could call up at like two?"

"I will be there," Lucas replied, then leaned down closer, "And I've got protection."

Willow was confused.

"Like a raincoat?" she asked, wondering if Lucas had gotten caught in an earlier rain-shower she'd managed to avoid.

Lucas slowly smiled.

"Yeah, I have a raincoat. I have a few."

Willow nodded.

"Well, I have my own so I'll bring it."

"I like that in a girl," Lucas replied, another smirk playing on his lips.

"Right, okay. Well, I'll see you then," Willow said, thinking he was acting a little odd and wondered if he was maybe too pumped up on caffeine.

She made sure her camera and things were secure, then offered Lucas a wave before approaching the professor.

"Hi, I have a question about the assignment," she said with a friendly smile, "Do you just want any shot of something in nature?"

The professor looked up and regarded her for a moment, then finally smiled.

"I want you to find nature and preserve a moment of it. Your interpretation is as much a part of the process as clicking the button."

That made things no clearer in Willow's mind, but she didn't want to be whiny on her first day.

"Right. Sure. Um, thanks!"

She had intended on going back to their dorm, but instead found herself at the admin building where Tara was working.

A quick glance down at her watch told her Tara should hopefully be close to ending her shift, so she chanced going inside to find her.

She was barely inside the door when she heard the loud shrill of one of the other women working there.

"Are you sure I can't convince you Tara? He makes a very good salary you know, owns his own car."

"I'm sure he's very nice," Tara agreed tactfully, keeping her head buried in a file.

The woman addressing her, one of three middle-aged women working in the office apart from Tara, just continued speaking.

"If you're worried all he does is work, he comes home to his mother every Friday night, he's a good boy."

Tara's cheeks were starting to flush.

"I…"

"Leave the poor girl alone," one of the other women said, shooting Tara an understanding look.

The first woman held her hands up defensively.

"She said she doesn't have a boyfriend, I have a very available son!"

"Maybe she's seeing a boy casually," the third lady spoke up, trying to be helpful, "Or maybe she likes being single."

Tara closed the file she'd been sorting and held it against her chest.

"I have a girlfriend."

She smiled shyly, then quickly disappeared into the filing room in the back. The three women all exchanged a look for the moment, then the original interrogator just smiled.

"These girls, so modern."

Willow arrived to the main desk from the hallway and offered a smile.

"Hi."

The woman at the helm looked to her.

"Do you need a class application form?"

"No, I'm already a student," Willow shook her head and shrugged her bag on her shoulder, "I'm here for Tara."

Yet another look was exchanged between the three.

"Tara…there's a very pretty young lady here to see you."

Tara came out from the filing room and had a smile that lit up the room when she saw Willow.

"Hi."

"Hi," Willow greeted with a wave, feeling awkward under the scrutiny of the other women, "My class was over and you said you finished up at one."

Tara looked down at the two folders left for her to organise.

"I just have some filing to finish."

"Tara, go, go, I'll look after that," the first woman offered, "Are you going to introduce us to your friend here?"

Tara smiled gratefully and gestured around.

"Willow, this is Judy, Annette and Sharon," she said, then looked over to Willow adoringly, "This is my girlfriend, Willow Rosenberg."

"She's Jewish, I approve," Judy, easily the most talkative of all three, replied, then fixed her sights on Willow, "Do I know your father?"

"I'm from California," Willow answered, though Judy seemed the kind of woman that knew everyone and anyone.

"Do you know anyone I could introduce to my Joel?" she asked Willow, tone as hopeful as ever.

Willow looked to Tara for help, but she was just as blank.

"Um…I…we don't know many people."

"He needs to find a girl," Judy said with a long sigh, "I keep telling him, he makes me a grandmother and I won't have time to nag him!"

Willow hid a smile, but Tara caught it and had to look away to keep from giggling. Judy bemoaned her lack of grandchildren and a daughter-in-law for another minute before patting Tara on the back.

"Okay, Tara, you go have a good day now."

"Thank you," Tara replied and got her satchel from the corner, then walked around to Willow and took her hand.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Judy called after them as they left, then lowered her voice but could still easily be heard, "Oh they must do a lot of things I wouldn't do."

Tara's cheeks flushed as they walked out onto the campus and she shot a look at Willow.

"Don't."

"I didn't say a word," Willow replied, grinning.

"You were thinking it," Tara countered.

Willow smiled over.

"What was I thinking?"

"Nattering mothers' knitting circle," Tara replied reluctantly.

Willow laughed loudly.

"All they needed was the yarn."

Tara rolled her eyes good-naturedly, then smiled.

"How was your class?"

"Fun, I think," Willow replied, thinking it over, "Yeah, I had fun once I figured out the camera. And the teacher said I did good. Well, I mean, she said I did well.S"

"I told you," Tara said, pecking Willow's cheek proudly, "Do you want to get some lunch?"

"Uh huh," Willow nodded, "Then I have to go see my assignment-partner to work on our homework."

"What's your assignment?" Tara asked curiously.

Willow gestured around them.

"Nature."

"That's interesting," Tara replied encouragingly.

"Interesting? Try vague," Willow said, shaking her head, "I tried to ask for more specific guidelines but apparently my 'interpretation' is part of the 'process'. So I guess I just photograph some leaves and I'm done."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"I guess."

Willow looked over to her.

"Do you think different?"

"Well, it doesn't matter what I think…it's what you think that's important," Tara replied tactfully.

Willow considered that a moment, then sighed.

"You're worse than my teacher, you know that?"

Tara just smiled.

"I said I'll do whatever I can to help, I meant it."

"Yeah I know, you're the best," Willow replied warmly, "Thank you for your note."

"You're welcome," Tara replied with just as much affection, "So tell me about your class."

Willow filled Tara in on what happened during her class as they approached the cafeteria and got their lunch. They chatted about Willow's assignment and the interrogation Tara had faced with her co-workers as they ate, then began to stroll back to their dorm when finished.

Willow cast a wary look towards the sky as she noticed the clouds start to clump together and grey over.

"I think it's about to–" she started to say, but was promptly cut off as the skies opened and a downpour of rain started.

She quickly unzipped her sweatshirt and held it over their heads as they ran the rest of the way back to their building and into the dorm.

"God, I hate the rain," Willow said, once inside, as she shook her sweatshirt free of the rainwater, "I said I'd meet that Lucas guy at two, but I don't know whether there's any point now."

Tara stepped out of the line of fire from the flying water drops and sat on the bed to remove her shoes and socks.

"Why don't you call first and see what he thinks? Do you know his room number?"

Willow nodded and went over to the phone, twirling the cord between her fingers as she dialled the extension.

"Hi, this is Willow…from photography class. Um, do you still want to meet up?"

She listened for a moment before replying.

"Okay, well I'll come up now then…but I'm really wet."

She listened again, then gave the phone a strange look.

"Well, um, okay, bye."

She hung up and sat down beside Tara.

"This guy is a little weird," she said, brow creasing, "He wanted to share a raincoat earlier and now I guess he's offering me a towel or something but he said he could fix me being wet."

"Maybe he's just trying to be friendly," Tara replied helpfully.

"Yeah, I guess that's true," Willow replied with a soft shrug, then quickly kissed Tara's cheek, "Bye honey. I want a really big snuggle when I come back."

"The biggest," Tara promised.

Willow smiled happily and got up to get her rain jacket from the closet and camera bag before leaving to go up to the third floor. She found 317 and knocked, then waited for it to open but instead just heard a voice call out.

"Come in."

She put her hand on the doorknob and opened it into the obviously just-tidied room. The neatness was the last thing she noticed however, as Lucas was standing on the other side of the room, completely nude, with his hands behind his head so he could puff out his chest and another, lower, part of himself.

Willow stared in abject horror, which Lucas mistook as scorn for how he presented himself.

"The pose was stupid, wasn't it?" he asked, dropping his hands, "If you come in again, I'll just stand here or lie on the bed or something."

Willow's mouth was hanging open in shock, but she finally snapped to attention. Her hand flew to her eyes and she spun away from him.

"What, why, what!" she stammered, her other hand gesticulating wildly, "WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!"

"Uh, for sex?" Lucas asked dumbly, "Do you like to undress dudes or something? I'm sorry, did you want a date first? I thought we were doing the no-strings thing."

Willow started to fumble over her words again.

"I am not having sex with you!"

Lucas looked at a loss and brought his hands down to cover a sensitive exposed area.

"Uh, we arranged a hook-up, right? You said you'd come right up to my room. The naked thing was stupid, I can be smoother."

"We arranged to do homework!" Willow replied indignantly, back still turned, "I'm GAY! I have a GIRLFRIEND!"

Lucas's eyes went wide and he grabbed a pillow from the bed to cover himself completely.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…this is just a huge misunderstanding…I thought we were on the same page, getting natural," he said, rambling as much as Willow now, "I mentioned protection."

"I thought you meant a real raincoat!" Willow argued, feeling completely stupid, "For the rain!"

Lucas had turned a bright shade of red.

"Is there any way we can pretend this didn't happen?" he asked, not wanting any of his friends, or anyone period, to hear about this, "Forget what you saw?"

"Gladly," Willow all but spat, shuddering at the image burned into her brain, "We can do our assignments by ourselves. And we can avoid each other in class."

Lucas nodded in agreement, though it was hidden to Willow.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too," Willow spat, making a beeline for the door, "Uh, bye."

She slammed the door closed behind her, then scarpered downstairs and ran back into her dorm, where she started to rub her eyes.

"Did you forget something?" Tara asked, looking up from where she was reading on the bed.

Willow's hands went to her cheeks, which were flushing in embarrassment.

"My common sense, my mind, and a barf bag."

Tara looked confused.

"You lost me."

"He didn't want to do our assignment," Willow replied, scuffing her show, "At least not clothed."

"What?!" Tara almost yelled, jumping up.

"It was a huge misunderstanding and I was a total idiot and god, why am I so stupid?" Willow started to babble, slapping her cheeks lightly, "How can I be acing my way through a psychology degree and still not pick up on things that are so completely OBVIOUS."

Tara could see Willow was distressed, so went over to offer some comfort in the form of a shoulder rub.

"Tell me what happened."

She brought Willow over to sit on the bed and continued to lightly massage her as she relayed what had happened.

"I'm so dumb," Willow finished, holding her head in her hands again, "I'm so frickin' dumb."

"It was a misunderstanding," Tara reassured, kissing the back of her ear, "It's okay, sweetie."

"It could have been really bad," Willow replied, her eyes filling with unshed tears, "He was just as embarrassed as I was, but another guy and it could have been a different scenario. First letting Becky get me drunk and being too fucking stupid to even realise and, and the stupid pizza guy and now this."

"You're not stupid honey," Tara replied, nuzzling into Willow's neck, "Cut yourself some slack and in the future just make sure you're clear."

Willow sniffled.

"I'm gay and taken."

"Very," Tara replied, taking Willow's hand over her waist.

"Very gay or very taken?" Willow questioned.

"Both," Tara replied, and saw the corner of Willow's mouth turn into a smile, "I can't believe you saw his–"

"Don't," Willow cut her off, shaking her hands in front of her, "I need to erase it, quick. Brain bleach. Sulfuric acid, anything."

Tara turned Willow over so they were facing each other and left a soft, lingering kiss on her lips.

"That works," Willow whispered, much more pleasant images dancing through her mind, "Thanks, Tara."

"Any time," Tara replied and bumped their noses together.

Willow let her hand cup Tara's cheek, content to forget about everything with Lucas, or at least put it out of her mind for now.

"I disturbed you from your book."

"I was just reading our book of poems again. I found a verse that reminded me of you," Tara replied, reaching over to open a doggy-eared page, "Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favour fire."

"That's a little dirty, Ms. Maclay," Willow giggled, cuddling into Tara's side as she started to hum, then sing, "I don't want to set the world on fire, I just want to start a flame in your heart…"

She trailed off, embarrassed that she'd attempted to sing at all.

"Um, The Ink Spots," she said clearing her throat and toying idly with the cuff of her shirt, "Old band, probably don't know 'em."

Tara smiled softly.

"I think my mom used to listen to them."

Willow smiled too and squeezed Tara's knee.

"Anyway, I don't want to end the world…not as long as you're around. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Tara let her fingertips dance along Willow's arm.

"I don't plan on letting you find out."

"Good," Willow replied and kicked her shoes off to play footsie with Tara at the end of the bed.

They read together for the next little while until the post-rain sun streamed in through the window. Willow looked out and thought she saw the shimmering of a rainbow.

"I think I'll go try and get my assignment done, then I don't have to worry about it."

"Okay," Tara replied with a smile as Willow got up to get her shoes back on, "Remember, you're not looking at nature, you're looking for nature."

That was as confusing to Willow as her professor's words, but she wasn't going to argue.

"For nature," she repeated, getting her camera ready, then blew Tara a kiss, "Bye."

Tara caught it and waved Willow off, then decided to get her sketch book out and her favourite pencil and started to draw. She drew a few doodles first; Willow's face in a sunflower, just their hands intertwined, then a side-profile portrait of their noses touching, before getting down to a more concentrated effort and sketched Willow in her new capacity of photographer.

She finished her outline and shaded it in, then got her coloured pencils to give Willow's eyes and hair some vibrancy. Her green pencil moved back and forth on the page in gentle strokes until the door flung open and she was met with the bright eyes she was trying so hard to imitate.

"I got my photo, I got my photo!"

Tara left her drawing down and smiled.

"Well done!"

"Look, look!" Willow said, bouncing over, camera ready to show her.

Tara took the camera and looked at the preview pane, a close-up of some colourful leaves with the sun shining down on them and some dew leftover from the rain.

"That's very pretty."

Willow was bouncing on the balls of her feet, clearly eager about the shot.

"They're leaves! But they're not just leaves! They're leaves on this tree…this tree that's helping us all live by photosynthesising and producing oxygen…leaves that are absorbing the sun's energy and moderating the climate…they're absorbing rainwater and stopping flooding…that drop, that little drop right there in the corner leaf, that's coming from the water cycle, one of the most complex and simple systems that's evolved because we need it to _survive_ and that droplet isn't gone when it falls off, it's just starting the process all over again…that acorn was probably dropped there by an animal who was passing by, dispersing all these seeds…this is how the whole world grew, through life and instinct and _nature_and yes, science, lots of science, but how great is that?" she rambled on, her demeanour similar to someone who'd just discovered the cure for cancer, "Sorry, I just…I knew all this stuff intellectually…and then just looking, really looking at those leaves…I saw it for the first time, you know?"

Tara smiled warmly.

"It's a wonderful photo."

Willow suddenly dropped to her knees and took Tara's hands.

"It's you," she said, looking at her girlfriend with absolute wonder, "You're the one who makes me see this stuff. The sun in the sky and the leaves on the trees and everything that's real. You're everything that's real to me."

Tara looked touched.

"You're very sweet."

Willow shook her head, like Tara wasn't getting the full extent of the epiphany she'd had.

"I mean it, I had no idea what you meant. Looking for nature, not at nature? I didn't get the difference," she said, sitting up to take Tara's hands closer, "But now I do. And you didn't even have to do anything, you just plant this…feeling inside me, to look at things in this new perspective and it's wonderful…you're wonderful, you make my world wonderful."

Tara was at a loss for words, but Willow was still speaking enough of them both, completely overwhelmed with the joy of discovery.

"You know how I know you're the one?" she asked, her hands moving to touch Tara's face as if to confirm she was real, "Because you inspire me more than anything or anyone ever has or could."

Tara nuzzled into Willow's hand.

"You do that for me too."

Willow gave a small smile, but it wasn't filled with confidence.

"The only thing I inspire is stupidity."

Tara quickly shook her head and was about to voice her disagreement, but instead paused for a moment. She glanced at her sketchbook at the end of the bed and considered it for a moment before finally reaching down to get it, flipping the top to show Willow.

Willow regarded the first drawing she saw, awed by Tara's skills but confused as to why she was showing her but then suddenly realised what she was looking at.

"Is this me?" she asked, eyes burning into the pages as she looked through, "A-are these all me?"

Tara nodded shyly and watched as Willow looked through all her different sketches in amazement.

"I-I never thought someone could see me like this."

Tara covered Willow's hand gently and affectionately stroked her wrist.

"I never thought I could feel what I feel for you."

Willow turned her head to Tara and looked at her adoringly.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," she said, leaving a long kiss against her cheek, "You really are. I love you right down to every last hair follicle."

Tara smiled affectionately.

"And I love you right down to every last freckle."

"Hey, I'm not the only freckled one here," Willow replied defiantly, "You've got a few too."

"Where?" Tara asked, unaware of ever seeing more than the odd mark on her arm.

"On your butt!" Willow exclaimed, then giggled, "They all clump together, kinda look like a butterfly. Hey maybe I could get a shot of a butterfly. Now there's an amazing creature, how they just cocoon themselves and…"

Tara listened as Willow waxed lyrical about her newfound love for butterflies and all things nature, ever content to hear all she had to say.

"I'm a dork, right?" Willow finished a while later, red-faced just from the exertion of talking.

Tara kissed Willow's flaming cheeks.

"Yes. But you're my dork. And I wouldn't change you for anything."


	28. Chapter 28

**Queenphoenix08** – She is a little clueless! Glad you enjoyed it :)

**GnomeGirly** – I think Mia will turn out to be a little smarter than the bimbo. She'll be back when their summer is over! I don't think Willow's overall self-esteem has plummeted, we all have those 'feeling stupid' moments…though I am in much agreement with Tara plumping it up!

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – She also has a blind spot for Tara and thinks she's the only one who'd ever hit on her, but I think she's learned her lesson in cluelessness :p Tara would/becomes a wonderful daughter-in-law for sure

**C. Spiritmaster** – I'm glad I could make your day better! :D

**Dirty Tube Socks** – You're too pervy and I'm too prudey :P The god damn Roman Empire, 'causing problems and shit. It is funny. I think she'll laugh one day :D

* * *

"Willow, stop."

Willow made no effort to stop snapping pictures of Tara and just continued to get them both more tangled up in the sheets as she moved the camera around to get different angles.

"The assignment is 'beauty', Tara, how can I stop when I've got an endless source right in front of me?"

Tara had to keep yanking at the sheet to make it cover her naked body to stop Willow getting an 'accidental' full-frontal shot.

"I'm sure your professor doesn't want to wade through a bunch of photos of me with bedhead."

Willow smirked behind the camera.

"That's not bedhead, that's sex hair," she said with more than a hint of pride, then took a last photo and lowered the camera, "You're so beautiful."

Tara's cheeks flushed and she smiled bashfully.

"You're sweet but I still don't think post-coital photos of me trying to cover my face are going to fly."

Willow lifted the strap off her neck and left the camera on her nightstand before cuddling into Tara.

"This is actually a class assignment, not an individual one. Well kinda. So as much as you'd be the perfect model..."

"Oh?" Tara asked, interested.

"Uh huh, we all had to choose a kind of derelict site in the city and go and find some beauty there to photograph," Willow explained, "Man, there was a lot of bickering but we finally picked out this old, abandoned walkway a little ways from here…it used to be really pretty with flowers and benches that looked out over the river beneath, but then it turned into a drug spot, got graffitied and stuff…now it's just deserted."

Tara twirled the ends of Willow's hair between her fingers.

"So you're all going to meet up there and 'find beauty'?"

Willow nodded.

"Uh huh, this weekend. Tomorrow, actually. I don't really know how we're going to find anything but litter and empty syringes though."

"You can find beauty anywhere," Tara replied encouragingly.

Willow idly traced the bones of Tara's collarbones and thought about how much her girlfriend had helped her work on both her photography and whole outlook on life by just encouraging her to see a different perspective.

"Do you maybe want to come?" she asked hopefully, looking up with a smile, "I could use those pretty eyes."

"Isn't it your class thing?" Tara asked, finding Willow's toes to play with under the sheet.

Willow shrugged.

"It's not like a field trip…the professor won't be there or anything."

Tara tapped her fingers against the sheet.

"Is…that guy going to be there?"

Willow's neck twisted uncomfortably.

"Yes, but we've both been expertly avoiding each other. We haven't made so much as awkward eye contact with each other in a month, so nothing to worry about."

Tara nodded, sensing Willow was happier to not think or talk about it.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to come?"

"Don't see why not," Willow replied cheerily, "Only if you want to, of course. Don't want to be all draggy girl."

"Okay," Tara agreed, happy for any extra time she got to spend with Willow.

"Thanks!" Willow beamed, pressing a long kiss to Tara's cheek, "I'm looking forward to it much more now. You make everything better."

She found Tara's hand and entwined their fingers gently, then leaned over to kiss her. She slowly rolled back on top then released Tara's lips to look down at her with a predatory leer.

"I think your sex hair needs to be redone. I happen to know a very good stylist."

Tara closed her eyes to enjoy a few moments of delicate neck kisses, but then had to regretfully push Willow's shoulders away.

"I have to go back to work this afternoon."

"What? Why?" Willow asked with a whine, "You said you didn't do afternoons until August."

"Judy is home sick and they need some extra help," Tara explained, running her hands down Willow's arms affectionately.

"It must be a lot quieter in there," Willow replied in a mumble, then clicked her tongue in annoyance, "Damn Judy, nosy _and_ruining my chance for some afternoon delight."

Tara raised an eyebrow.

"What have we been doing for the last hour?"

Willow left her hand over Tara's heart, then slowly dragged a finger between her breasts.

"Sorry for finding you irresistible."

Tara caught Willow's hand before it dipped any lower.

"I'll make it up to you."

Willow let her hand be stilled and looked at her girlfriend curiously.

"How?"

"How do you want me to?" Tara asked, giving her special, seductive smile that only Willow was ever privy to.

Willow felt the familiar weighty feeling settle in her abdomen in response.

"I can think of a few things," she replied, her tongue poking out between her teeth, "They start like this."

She pressed their lips together and went to deepen it but her shoulders were pushed back again.

"I have to go," Tara said apologetically, "I need to jump in the shower before I go back."

Willow backed off, but not without a pout.

"Can I come?"

"Will you be good?" Tara asked, thinking she already knew the answer.

"No," Willow admitted, crossing her arms over her chest petulantly, "Fine. But I'm watching you walk to the bathroom and I better see some wiggle."

Tara's cheeks tinged pink but she smiled and pecked Willow's cheek before scooting out of bed. She hoped her blush didn't spread as she 'wiggled' her way over to the bathroom.

"I see you, baby," Willow called after her with an approving whistle, "Shakin'. That. Ass."

She watched as Tara's blush did, indeed, spread; then settled back down to let her mind fantasize.

"What's with the Willow-grin?" Tara's voice pulled her back to reality a few minutes later as she came out wrapped in a towel.

Willow took even more pleasure in watching her girlfriend get dressed.

"Thinking about how you're going to make it up to me."

"Are you going to share?" Tara asked, finding her clothes flung around different parts of the room.

Willow was sure Tara was dragging her panties up her legs in slow motion on purpose, and if she wasn't, was very grateful to her brain for giving her the illusion.

"They involve you…a lot of you…and very specific parts of you."

Tara zipped her pants up and began to button her shirt, as her nose scrunched up.

"Are you going to make me bend in weird ways?"

"No, of c–" Willow started to dismiss but then quickly decided not to be so flippant, "What, what kinda ways?"

"Sorry?" Tara asked, distractedly running a brush through her hair.

"W-what kind of ways can you bend?" Willow asked, very intrigued.

Tara shrugged once, never giving much thought to how her limbs moved.

"My legs can stretch over my head."

Willow's eyes almost bugged out of her head and she had to make a concentrated effort to not let her tongue hang out like a panting dog.

"How don't I know this?!" she asked, beginning to bounce in place giddily, "Show me."

"I have to go," Tara replied, once again apologetic.

Willow's mind was racing with raunchy images.

"Later! That's what, that's what I want! Make-y up stuff."

"Okay," Tara agreed, not seeing what was so interesting about her flexibility, "I have to go, sweetie, bye."

"Bye," Willow replied absently, just barely feeling another kiss against her cheek before Tara was gone.

The slam of the door shook her out of her thoughts for a moment, but it only took a second for them to revert back to Tara.

The smell of her girlfriend's perfume lingered through the air and when Willow rolled over a bit she could still feel the warm imprint where her body had been.

_Why can't I just have her naked 24/7? Those full breasts and long legs and…oh those legs…can she really…?_

She'd certainly felt the strength of Tara's legs and thighs in the throes of passion before, and had appreciated the limber movements of her hips, but was very much looking forward to experimenting with all that that flexibility had to offer.

She cuddled into Tara's pillow and sighed softly.

_Guess I should get up…and do something…go somewhere…_

Her thoughts floated in and out, but she made no effort to move, feeling the uncomfortable weight of built-up arousal between her legs every time she moved even slightly.

_I can't take the whole afternoon like this…she got me all worked up, then left!_

She knew it was her own fault for letting her fantasies get the better of her, but was not used to having these feelings so palpably without a Tara there to take care of her.

_Guess there's a cold shower with my name on it…not like I can just magic Tara's hand here for some lovin'._

She let out a long, dramatic sigh and accompanied it with a pout for good measure, but then realised that the presence of Tara wasn't absolutely necessary in her current predicament – preferred, certainly, but not necessary.

_Can I do that? I mean, obviously, I can do that, but can I do that?_

Her train of thought was perfectly rational in her head but she couldn't reach a conclusion, so decided some experimentation was in order.

She rolled herself onto her back and closed her eyes, then let her hand brush over her thigh. That did little to stimulate her the way it did when it was Tara's touching her, but decided not to give up yet.

She opened her legs and let her fingers slightly touch her mound first, then slide into the wetness. There was a brief moment of disappointment that it wasn't as satisfying a sensation as when she touched Tara, but she was able to let go of that quickly as she imagined touching her girlfriend like she was touching herself.

Having Tara in her mind made the whole process a lot more appealing, and it didn't take long for her to be in a steady rhythm.

_This isn't my hand, not my hand…Tara's hand…Tara's touching me...yes…Tara's hand…oh yes…_

* * *

Tara was getting extremely frustrated as she searched her satchel for her dorm key, but to no avail. She was sure she remembered picking it up on the way out but it was nowhere to be found. She finally decided to knock, hoping Willow hadn't decided to go out.

"Uhhh…just a second!" Willow's voice called out fretfully.

Tara waited patiently for the door to open, which it did a moment later by Willow wrapped in a robe. She sighed in relief when she saw who it was.

"Oh good it's just you."

"Sorry it's not someone better," Tara replied with a smile, walking through.

"No, no, not what I meant," Willow rushed to reassure, closing the door again, "You're wonderful, you're the best. No one better than you."

Tara left her satchel down by the bed, then kicked her shoes off and went to lie down, tired from working all day. She half-sat so she could continue a conversation, then offered Willow a wry grin.

"Have you even gotten dressed since I left?"

"No," Willow replied cagily, thankful Tara didn't seem to notice her flushed cheeks or the little beads of sweat still falling on her brow.

Tara just continued to smile warmly.

"What have you been doing for the past four hours?"

Willow's eyes widened.

"Four hours? Wow. Ohhh, ummm... various sounds of hesitation..." she replied with a nervous chuckle, then continued with a shy look, "Thinking about you…"

Tara's smile turned curious.

"You've been lying in bed naked and thinking about me for four-oh."

She blushed bright red and looked away, which made Willow do the exact same.

"So I'll just let the ground swallow me up now…"

Tara quickly looked back up.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," she said reassuringly, blushing still but her eyes were kind, "Did you…have fun?"

Willow shrugged, toying with her hands.

"I'm not as good as you…I mean, I imagined it was you and that helped, but you're definitely far more skilled in the fingering department," she answered, and saw Tara try to hide even redder cheeks. "I'm totally embarrassing you. And me. I'm sorry."

Tara again was quick to reassure, despite the permanent blush.

"I like that we can talk about this stuff," she said truthfully, before tacking on, "In private."

Willow smiled.

"In private. Private is all of the good."

Tara bent her legs under herself and loosely took Willow's hand.

"Would you like me to be more vocal? You know…like this? Or... during?"

Willow turned Tara's hand over to press their palms together.

"I just want you to be comfortable, Tare-bear. You don't have to say stuff and I'll shut up if you don't want to hear it."

"No, I like hearing it," Tara replied with a shy smile, "And I want to say things too. I just feel silly."

Willow's smile widened and she danced her fingertips up Tara's arm as if to tickle her.

"Well if you can't be silly with me, who can you be silly with?"

Tara giggled and squirmed free, but Willow didn't put up too much of a fight. Tara pulled her down gently to lie with her.

"You look a little worn out."

Willow gently stroked Tara's thigh over her pants.

"I could go for something sugary."

Tara leaned down to her satchel and rooted for a moment before producing a pack of M&Ms.

"The vending machine gave me two earlier."

Willow took them gratefully and tore the pack open.

"Did you need something surgery too?"

Tara glanced over with a crooked smile.

"Well, someone convinced me to miss lunch."

Willow threw a piece of the candy into her mouth and grinned.

"I believe I said I had something nicer you could eat…"

Tara decided to try for a response instead of her standard blush and tapped Willow's shoulder suggestively.

"I believe you were right."

Willow grinned more and pecked Tara quickly, then offered an M&M.

"Thanks," Tara smiled, taking two, "I like the orange ones."

"I like green," Willow replied, fishing one out and leaving the orange ones for Tara, "When I was little, any time I got coloured candy, I always had to separate them before I could eat them."

Tara smiled affectionately.

"You were one of those kids who couldn't have the peas touching the carrots, weren't you?"

"Peas with carrots is an abomination," Willow joked with a grin, "It's Adam and Eve, not Carrots and Peas."

Tara started to laugh loudly, but accidentally cut herself off with a yawn.

"You've had a long day," Willow said to her, giving the bag of M&Ms with the orange ones left, "Want a foot rub?"

"You don't have to do that," Tara replied shyly.

"I know I don't _have_ to," Willow replied, sitting up and taking Tara's feet in her lap, "I'm asking if you _want _me to."

Tara flexed her feet appreciatively as Willow gently massaged her soles.

"That feels nice."

Willow took that as confirmation to keep going and plucked Tara's socks off before continuing.

"Hey, thanks for not making me feel bad for, um, staying in bed all day. I was getting myself all hot and bothered and well…yeah."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," Tara replied kindly, wiggling her toes, "You have a lot of stamina."

Willow blushed.

"I didn't, _go_, the whole time…I mean, I thought about you, and you know, nice feelings happened, and then I had a little nap and woke up and thought about you again and there were more nice feelings and then I wrote a little in my journal and then you came back."

"Was it weird?" Tara asked, relaxing under Willow's touch.

Willow nodded straight away.

"Yeah, it kinda was. Different from touching you, and definitely different to being touched by you," she answered, softly digging her thumbs into Tara's feet, "You know when you're really, really hungry that even one of those flabby fast-food burgers look good?"

Tara nodded, so Willow continued.

"It was like that. Satisfied a need, but nothing like enjoying a steak dinner."

"Is that what I am?" Tara asked with a lopsided smile.

Willow moved her hands down to Tara's ankles and circled there for a moment before sliding right up her body so they were face to face.

"You are the soft and fluffy crab cake appetiser…the juicy steak with the sweet caramelised onion side…and the rich, decadent chocolate fudge cake all rolled into one, delightfully delicious…spread."

She rested her hand on Tara's thigh as she spoke, then pushed them open on the last word. Tara swallowed to regain some moisture in her mouth that had shot decidedly south and wiggled her hips under Willow.

"You're a little insatiable today."

"I could probably blame my cycle," Willow replied, pressing kisses from Tara's jaw down into her neck, "But really you're just very…very…sexy."

Tara tilted her neck to offer more of her skin, but Willow only spent a minute or two there before her head bobbed up excitedly.

"Can you really bend your leg over your head?"

Tara blinked for a moment to get her senses back.

"Um...yeah. Well I don't exactly check every day but yeah, I used to anyway," she replied, noting how Willow's pupils dilated as she spoke, "Why is that so sexy?"

Willow licked her lips.

"Just thinking about you being so open for me," she replied, before flushing, "It just is, okay?"

"Okay," Tara answered straight away, her smile coy and willing, "What do you want me to do? I said I'd make it up to you…so you get to tell me what to do."

Willow sat back and bounced giddily.

"Well nakedness would be preferred."

Tara's cheeks turned pink.

"You mean like a strip tease?"

Willow hadn't, but wasn't about to admit that.

"Yes. Yes, that's exactly what I meant."

Tara smiled nervously, but had agreed she'd do what Willow asked.

"Okay."

Willow had to purse her lips to contain a squeal and backed up to let Tara off the bed. Tara slowly scooted off and stood facing Willow, but wasn't sure what to do or where to start.

She felt entirely silly, but remembered what Willow had said earlier. She took in one long breath, then started to unbutton her shirt. She pretended she was just doing it as normal to feel less awkward, though did keep her movements slower than a normal removal.

She started to get into it by the time the last button was popped, enjoying the enthralled look in Willow's eyes. She wiggled out of her pants and made a show of concealing her breasts before dropping her bra, but Willow didn't let her get to her panties.

"Wait, wait, wait," she said, jumping up and standing beside Tara, "I like taking them off."

Tara didn't protest and watched as Willow got on her knees. She felt fabric whoosh down her legs and stepped out of them accordingly, then felt kisses over her thighs.

She closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling of Willow's lips as they worked their way up her body.

By the time Willow was standing, Tara could tell she'd shed herself of her robe by the warm press of their naked bodies together. Her eyes fluttered open to be met with Willow's just an inch away, glazed and darkened with arousal.

She felt her breath quicken as Willow's hands slowly slid down her sides until they landed on her hips, where she was promptly swung around and flung onto the bed.

"Oh my," she breathed as Willow climbed over her.

"I. Love. You," Willow replied, punctuating each word with a wet kiss across Tara's chest.

She kissed her way to Tara's breasts and tongued her nipples into stiff peaks, then sat back on her heels. Her face was flushed with excitement as she lifted one of Tara's legs up and over her shoulder.

Tara tried not to squirm as the cool air hit her exposed heat. She saw Willow turn her head in and kiss her ankle, then felt the beginning stretch in her thigh as her girlfriend started to lean back down, her leg remaining straight between them as it bent with her.

"Holy cow!" Willow exclaimed as Tara's leg went with her with total ease, "That just goes right up! Does your other leg do it too?"

She didn't wait for a response and dropped Tara's leg to try the other, grinning in delight when it did the same.

"That's so cool!" she said, experimenting some more with the flexibility of Tara's thighs, "Is it super uncomfortable?"

"Um, no," Tara replied, the stretching wasn't uncomfortable, but Willow's jostling was exposing her more each time.

Willow stopped pulling at Tara and smiled.

"I don't know how you do that," she said, lying back sideways so she could try and lift her own leg up, "I can barely get–oomfh!"

She felt her head hit the floor first as she tumbled backwards, then her back slamming into it. Tara scrambled to get down to her.

"Willow, are you okay?"

Willow blinked a few times, winded, but then managed to pull herself up with the help of Tara's thigh as an anchor.

"Yeah. Yow."

"Did you hurt yourself?" Tara asked in concern, checking for a bump or any other injury.

Willow didn't feel anything hurt but her pride.

"Back-flipping out of bed onto your ass, that's super sexy," she said with a self-deprecating smile, "Sorry, not much with the flexibility."

Tara moved her hand down from the back of Willow's head to her cheek.

"You're all the flexible I need."

"Being zero?" Willow asked, keeping her gaze on the floor.

Tara dropped her hand and found Willow's, softly entwining their fingers and using hers to arch Willow's.

It took Willow a minute, but she realised Tara was flexing her fingers for her and blushed at the erotic implication.

"You know what's sexier than anything?" she asked, picking herself up and shuffling over into Tara's lap, "That you can dirty talk without saying a word."

Tara blushed too and scooted back so she was leaning against the bedframe for support. She tilted her head up to meet Willow's lips and let her hands rest on the small of her girlfriend's back.

"I think I bruised my butt," Willow whispered against Tara's lips.

Tara let her hand fall over the curve of Willow's buttocks, then bent and turned her head in enough to let her lips press against the side of her cheek.

"Kissed it better," she said with a crooked smile, which Willow couldn't resist kissing.

"Well if that's the response I get, I think I bruised lots of places."

Tara kissed Willow's lips again for a moment, then moved down her chin and throat to her collarbone.

Willow arched her back towards Tara's mouth and moaned quietly as lips trailed towards her breasts. Her neck strained as Tara licked and sucked her nipples until her hips were pushing down in a desperate friction-seeking grind.

If Tara was learning anything over the summer, it was Willow's body cues and responses, though the wet trail being left on her thigh was a definite giveaway that her girlfriend needed her, and now.

She kept one hand on Willow's hip to stop them both from tipping over and dropped the other to her girlfriend's thigh, gently massaging her way inwards.

Willow's thighs shook in anticipation and she gasped when fingers brushed over her mound. It was less than an hour since she'd been experimenting with the self-love, and only a few more since Tara had been having her for lunch, but it could have been weeks as far as her desire was concerned.

"Tara, please," she whispered, the intensity of her reaction to her girlfriend's touch never failing to astound her.

Tara let her fingers finally slide into Willow's folds and was quick to find her entrance. She slipped inside easily.

"Tara," Willow groaned, her bottom lip trembling as she pushed her hips down to meet Tara's hand, "Oh Tara."

Tara loved watching the expressions play out on Willow's face at any time; loved the animation and joy she so often displayed, the giddy and the cute, but found herself completely entranced by her when they were making love.

It wasn't just the way Willow seductively licked her lips, or how her nostrils flared when she reached inside her deeply, or the pleasure that contorted into ecstasy over her features as she tumbled towards climax – Tara loved watching those, but what she loved even more was that she was the only one who got to see it.

Willow could feel Tara's eyes burning into her but was far from embarrassed. She loved being watched as much as Tara loved to watch; loved feeling so wanted and sexy – a word she would have never dreamed of describing herself as until she'd seen the way Tara looked at her.

She leaned forward to put her weight on her arms against the bed to give as much momentum to her hip thrusts as possible, and purposely let their foreheads rest together.

"Like watching me?" Willow asked breathlessly, a tidal wave already beginning to lap inside her.

Tara nodded silently, the feel of Willow's breath hitting her lips causing serious stirrings between her legs. She squeezed them once to tide her over, then twisted her hand in a recently-mastered skill of turning her thumb up to press against Willow's clit.

Willow gasped and rolled her hips even more insistently, her nerves sensitive from all the attention they'd had that day.

She felt the tightness start in her abdomen and knew her inner muscles were clenching too by the soft moans escaping Tara's mouth. That only fuelled the fire in her belly and it was barely seconds before she was clutching the overhanging bedspread tightly.

The cold of the hardwood floor under Tara's butt was directly contrasting with the heat coming off of Willow's body. Tara ignored the numbness in her cheeks and beneath her thighs with relative ease though; she was far too busy letting her mouth find the sensitive patches of skin around Willow's neck and ear.

That was all Willow needed to feel the wave wash over her, slowly spreading up from her toes, then hit her full force in the abdomen. She was entirely still for a few long moments as the pleasure tingled through her, then slumped against Tara with a soft sigh.

"Mmmhh, I never thought falling on my ass could go so well," she said, pressing a kiss against Tara's shoulder blade, "You make everything so…so…good."

A slow shiver ran up her spine, which Tara mistook for cold and started to stand with her.

"Let me help you up."

Willow needed the assistance, her legs still a little shaky, and crawled under the blanket. She held it up for Tara to join her, then watched in curious amusement as she wiggled her hips on her way in.

"What are you doing?"

Tara blushed and stilled.

"My butt fell asleep."

Willow giggled and turned on her side, pulling Tara close to gently rub her buttocks for her.

"Is that helping?"

Tara had forgotten the numbness in her cheeks, focused on the much more pleasant sensation of Willow's slick body pressing against her.

"Helping…yes."

Willow's lips quirked up into a smirk – she knew exactly what Tara needed 'help' with. She slowly dragged her hand around and cupped Tara firmly.

"How about this?"

Tara's eyes closed and her lips parted, which Willow took advantage of by kissing her and rolling on top.

Tara's legs immediately spread and Willow took the hint, exploring for a moment to wet her fingers before rubbing them over her girlfriend's bud. She felt Tara's moan vibrate against her lips and rubbed harder, overcome with lust all over again.

Tara hungrily devoured Willow's lips, arms crossing over her back to bring them closer. She took handfuls of skin on Willow's back, sinking her fingers in wherever she could.

Willow knew Tara was eager for her 'flexibility', so decided not to tease and dropped her hand to reach inside. The kiss broke as Tara's neck and body strained back but Willow was quite happy to let her lips take a new path.

She keenly kissed all over Tara's chest and down her stomach, letting lips lie wherever they met skin until she was completely hidden under the blanket with her mouth very close to her hand.

Tara's hands tightened in the fabric beneath them as Willow licked her heated flesh. She spread her legs even more, if it was possible, and cried out loudly when she felt lips wrap around her clit and suck. She took the pillow between her teeth to muffle herself, though her legs started to kick out, needing to release the excitement somehow.

Willow absolutely loved when Tara really let go and continued to suck and fuck her into a frenzy. Her butt took a few errant hits from Tara's squirming legs but she was much too distracted with feasting on her to care.

She brought Tara right to the edge a few times, learned enough in her sounds to know when to teeter off, and could feel her girlfriend's thighs quaking with need. She was in the middle of figuring out whether to tease her one last time or not when she felt a more purposeful kick against her butt again and decided she'd better listen to Tara.

_Yes, ma'am!_

She thrust her fingers in deep and flexed them up and out like Tara had demonstrated on her earlier. She heard the hitched breath she wanted and got her mouth ready to enjoy what she knew was coming, her own toes curling in delight when she felt the spasms start around her.

Tara turned her head right into the pillow to muffle herself, teeth clenching the fabric She was lost for a few moments as the pleasure spread throughout her body, before relaxing back, cheeks flushed and smiling.

It was another couple of minutes before Willow's head popped back out from under the blanket, hair mussed and grinning like the cat that got the cream.

"Mmhh, you are sugar, spice and everything nice."

Tara blinked a few times before her gaze settled on Willow, though she still seemed hazy.

"Did I kick you?"

Willow just smiled and shook her head; she knew it was playful and Tara would feel bad regardless.

Tara nodded in relief and tried to bring her hand up to wipe her brow, but found herself quite melded to the bed.

"I can't move."

Willow tenderly administered to the brow wipe and followed up with a kiss.

"Need me to get you anything?"

"I'm starving," Tara replied, craving an energy hit.

"Wanna get some pizza?" Willow asked, "Ooh, I even have a half-off coupon!"

Tara nodded, her eyes hungry.

"Pizza sound so good."

Willow groped around the floor and found her cell phone, calling in their usual, then settled back down.

"One of us is going to have to get dressed," Tara commented, playing with the ends of Willow's hair.

Willow pouted at the unthought-of flaw in her plan.

"Rock, paper, scissors?"

Tara nodded and help up her fist, playing a rock to Willow's scissors.

"Dammit!" Willow exclaimed, throwing herself back down onto the bed and crossed her arms over her chest, "Why do I always lose?!"

Tara smiled in victory and happily cuddled into her again.

"You always choose scissors."

"No I don't," Willow replied bitterly.

Tara's smile quirked up on one side.

"Yes, you do. You think you're being dirty."

Willow continued to pout petulantly for a moment before giving up and availing of the naked snuggles on offer.

"You didn't seem to mind me being dirty a few minutes ago."

Tara giggled and nuzzled their noses together, which quickly turned into soft kisses. Soft kisses that grew deeper and more intense until the cell phone shrilled.

Willow answered as reservedly as she could muster with the taste of Tara's tongue still in her mouth, then grudgingly threw on her clothes to go collect the pizza. The smell set out her own hunger pangs and she quickly hurried back to the dorm and threw the lid open on the bed.

She gallantly let Tara take the first slice, then smiled as she picked up her own.

"Eat and be merry for tomorrow, we photograph."


	29. Chapter 29

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – You're not the first person to mention the Glee thing :P I didn't think of it when I wrote it, but I am now hehe.

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you enjoyed it :)

**MissWhedonista** – Hi there! Wow, well I'm glad I can make you giggle and you're enjoying the fic :) I definitely tend towards romance, because I'm a sucker for it, but they were getting down and dirty in that scene so if the line fits… ;) I think it's really interesting to try and depict them 'fucking' and 'making love' at the same time, because they really fucking love each other, but they're really fucking hot for each other too. But I'm definitely all about the romance. Thanks for taking the time to leave a review, it made my day :D

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Who doesn't love Xena and Gabrielle? Let's be safe and hate both fictional and real Rome.

Pfft, what's so good about vertical hobbies? :P

I was a colour-crazy kid too. I had to separate them all by colour and eat them from least to most. I still eat pretty much all meals from order to what I like least to what I like most.

I'll see what I can do on the awkward!

* * *

"I can't remember the last time I was on a bus."

Tara turned her head towards Willow from where she'd been looking out the window.

"You don't get the bus?"

Willow shrugged.

"I get the T around the city…why did we get the bus again?"

"Because it's hot and the bus drops us closer," Tara answered with a soft smile, "You don't like it, do you?"

Willow looked around their surroundings, less than impressed. The bus was only half-full, and of those people all seemed 'normal', though she wasn't sure what she was expecting, but still couldn't quite feel comfortable.

"It's bumpy."

"So's the T," Tara's reasoned.

Willow looked around again.

"Nice to get seats."

"And you get to see more of the city," Tara said, smiling out the window as the city passed by them.

Willow couldn't help but smile at Tara's smile.

"I'm being a transport snob, aren't I?"

Tara pecked Willow's cheek affectionately.

"Just a little."

"I wish I had a car to drive you around in," Willow replied with a sigh, remembering a few car shows she'd tagged along with her father to in her younger teen years, just to spend some time together, but had ended up fascinated by the machines, "Someday."

"The bus isn't that bad," Tara replied with a playful roll of her eyes.

Willow rested her head on Tara's shoulder, happier now.

"I get to be close to you."

Tara leaned her head down gently on top of Willow's and looked out the window with her.

"I think this is our stop," Willow said a few minutes later when they pulled up on the curb and she recognised the area.

She grabbed her camera bag and offered her other hand to Tara, who took it and they quickly jumped from the bus to the sidewalk. The abandoned pier where Willow and the rest of her class were doing their assignment was right ahead of them, quite a few people already gathered.

It was even more derelict in person, with broken down cars with burnt out engines left to rot and litter scattered around the place.

"Well it's definitely…interesting," Tara said, trying to be positive.

Willow looked at the area in despair, having zero clues how she was supposed to find 'beauty' in such a place. The possibility of failing an assignment, for the first time ever, loomed large over her head.

"The sun isn't even out. This is going to be impossible."

"Nothing's impossible, sweetie," Tara replied with a comforting hand squeeze, "I'm sure you'll find something."

Willow wasn't so convinced as the approached the rest of the group. She peered over the small wall either side of the walkway they were standing on, to the river 30 feet beneath, but didn't think she'd get much help there – the water was as littered as the ground.

"Tara, this place is a lot worse than I thought…I don't want you to step on a needle or something. Just sit here, okay? I'll try and get this done as quickly as possible."

Tara looked over her shoulder to the wall Willow was pointing to. She gingerly sat right at the edge, not wanting to accidentally catch sight of the height drop between the wall and the water.

She toyed with her hands somewhat awkwardly, unsure what to do, while Willow sidled up to two of her male classmates that didn't appear to have even brought their cameras with them and were just bouncing a basketball back and forth.

"Hey guys," she greeted warmly, hoping that they were only playing ball because they'd finished the assignment and found a secret area tucked away that was filled with pretty flowers just waiting to be photographed, "Any luck with…finding stuff?"

The two guys stopped and stared at her for a moment, like they were trying to figure out who she was.

"Uh, we've just been playing b-ball…"

Willow wasn't overly familiar with the signs of someone being stoned, but she was pretty sure the bloodshot eyes were at least an indicator and the blank look on their faces another.

"Right, well…I'll um, go looking!"

She scarpered off and walked the pier back and forth a few times; taking random shots and hoping something came from them.

On the wall, Tara noticed another guy who actually was attempting to take photographs kept stealing glances at her. She tried to keep her gaze away from him and find interest in the many dust particles on the ground, so was thankful when she recognised Willow's shoes in front of her about a half hour later.

She looked up and had to smile when she saw Willow; the sun had started to peek out and was framing her hair brightly.

"Hey, baby. Sorry this is so boring for you."

"It's okay," Tara replied, then gave a discreet nod in her 'admirer's' direction, "Is that Lucas?"

Willow glanced over where Tara had indicated and quickly looked away when she and Lucas locked eyes for a moment.

"Yeah, why?"

Tara shuffled uncomfortably.

"He keeps looking over here."

"Oh," Willow replied, rolling her eyes, "Try to ignore him. I'll just do one more lap and try and find something and if I can't, we'll just go, okay?"

Tara nodded and Willow went off in search again, intently keeping her eye out this time. Tara amused herself with watching a group of ants scurry around the place, until a distinctly non-Willow-shaped shadow loomed over her. She looked up and winced when she saw Lucas standing there.

"A-are you Willow's girlfriend?"

She nodded once, worried what the man wanted, but he seemed even more uncomfortable than Tara.

"God, you're hot," Lucas blurted, unable to stop certain images going through his head, "Uh, I mean, no, that's not what I meant."

Tara glanced at Willow, trying to get her attention, but she was hunched over something with her back turned. Lucas ran a hand through his hair, more jittery than he'd ever been around a girl.

"I'm, uh, Luke, Lucas and uh, I just wanted to say how sorry I was, um, about, well, uh, I presume, Willow, um, well..."

"She told me," Tara replied nervously.

Lucas started to gesture wildly with his hands.

"I, uh, just wanted to say…um, well, that was me picking up all these wrong signals and trying this move…" he trailed off lamely and shook his head to himself for a moment then muttered, "Worked before. She really threw me off my mojo you know? I haven't even tried to pick up a chick in a month!"

Tara raised an eyebrow, which Lucas noticed and quickly got back on track.

"Uh, I mean, um, I'm just really sorry. I know if it was my girlfriend I would've been really mad, so…sorry. I went full-douche that day, and I think I'm getting there now too."

Tara considered Lucas for a few moments before giving a soft nod.

"Well thanks for saying that," she said eventually, going so far as to offer a smile, and got one back, "You have a nice smile, you know. You don't need to hide it behind a lot of bravado."

There was an instant flash in Lucas's eyes, like an automatic signal had gone off in his brain.

"You like my smile huh-"

"Lucas," Tara warned gently.

"Full douche, got it!" Lucas said quickly, even slapping his own forehead for being so stupid, "I think that's actually really good advice. I'll leave you alone now. Um, thanks. Bye."

He gave an awkward wave and went back to the people he was with before.

Willow was beside Tara again barely a second later, having turned around at the last second.

"What did he want?" she asked, wary.

Tara considered her answer carefully.

"To say sorry," she answered, deciding it was the crux and most genuine part of the conversation.

"Oh," Willow replied, thinking that over and deciding that was okay, "Did he bother you? Do I have to get large with the butch?"

Tara shook her head so Willow smiled.

"Well good. Hey, I think I got my shot!"

"You did?" Tara asked, showing a lot more enthusiasm that one might for such a task.

Willow left her camera down on the ground and sat next to Tara, excited she'd managed to find her assignment in less than an hour – not least of which because it meant they could leave.

"Uh huh, I found this little patch of leaves, or weeds maybe, but green, growing in a little crack in the ground, and there was this ladybug just sitting all there, content and whatnot…I dunno, just the idea that there's still life here when everything else is so dead…"

Tara rubbed Willow's shoulder and gave her a proud squeeze.

"That's great, sweetie, can I see?"

Willow nodded keenly.

"Sure!"

She went to reach for her camera, but was distracted as one of the two stoners called out to her.

"Yo, red, think fast!"

She saw the ball coming towards her, but didn't quite 'think fast' enough to catch it. It didn't help that the boy's aim was off by about half a foot, sending the basketball directly into Tara's stomach, the force of which knocked her right back and over the wall, spiralling into the river beneath.

Willow saw her going, but couldn't catch her in time.

"Tara!"

Everyone had rushed over in just in time to hear the splash.

"Hey, don't worry, it's, like, shallow," the guy who'd thrown the ball reassured, but Willow was already whipping her shoes off.

"She can't swim!"

Without wasting a second, she promptly stepped up on the ledge of the wall and dived down into the water. She felt the cold hit her and engulf her for a second, but quickly got her head above water and searched for Tara, seeing her head bob up a moment later, a few feet away from her.

"Tara! Tara, I'm coming!"

She swam as fast as she could, her jeans and blouse sticking to her skin and slowing her down, but finally got to Tara. She threw her arms around her to keep her up and started to furiously tread water to keep them afloat.

"It's okay, I'm here, I've got you, it's okay!"

Tara's heart was pounding from shock but she tried to take in some slow breaths.

"Willow–"

Willow was doing her best to kick her legs as fast as she could, but was starting to struggle.

"Hold on tight, I won't let go."

"Willow–" Tara tried again, only for Willow to pull her tighter.

"You're okay, I've got you, I've got you, baby."

Tara, feet firmly planted on the floor of the river, let go of Willow to show she was okay.

"Willow, I can stand."

Willow's feet slowly stopped and she chanced putting them down. They met ground just a second later. The two of them had floated towards the bank enough that the water lapped at their chins, but gave enough room to breathe, though they still needed to hold firm against the fast flow.

"Oh."

Tara was starting to shiver but was too busy looking at Willow in awe to notice.

"You came after me."

"Of course I did," Willow replied, cupping Tara's cheeks gently for a moment, then searched her head for bumps, "Did you hit your head, are you okay?"

"I'm not hurt," Tara answered, her voice starting to tremble.

The impact had been a shock, but mostly because of the cold. She figured she might have a bruise on her belly the next day, but the only thing really hurt was her pride. Willow took her hand under the water to lead her out safely.

"Come on, let's get out of this water, it can't be good for us. You didn't swallow any, did you?" she asked and Tara shook her head, "You sure? I should take you to a doctor."

"I'm fine," Tara answered, wrapping her arms around herself to keep her warm as they emerged from the water, "I just want to go home."

"Of course," Willow replied, rubbing her arms to try and give her some heat.

They climbed the steep, grassy bank back up to the walkway and the rest of Willow's class surrounded them to make sure they were okay.

"Uhh, I'm like, really sorry and stuff," the guy who'd started the whole mess said to them, still completely out of it, "Hey, did you get my ball?"

"Shut the fuck up," Willow snapped at him, resisting the urge to throw him over to find the ball himself, "We're going back to the dorms."

"I drove here, let me give you a lift back," Lucas offered right away, fishing his keys from his pocket.

"We'll get your seats all wet," Tara said quietly, thoroughly embarrassed by all the attention.

Lucas smiled kindly.

"It's a beat-up '97 fiesta, it's seen worse, don't worry."

Willow accepted the offer with a appreciate nod and they all made their way towards Lucas's car parked near the bus stop.

"Don't forget your camera," Tara said to Willow, really shivering now, "Y-you got your shot, right?"

"Yeah, I got it baby," Willow reassured, quickly retrieving the camera and her shoes, then catching up with them.

They sat into the back of Lucas's car and Willow took the middle seat so she could sit close to Tara for body heat, much too preoccupied with keeping Tara warm to release she was just as cold.

"Are you two alright, do you need me to swing by the ER?" Lucas asked as he started the car and began to drive.

"She's okay, just a little shaken up," Willow answered, pressing a lingering kiss to Tara's cheek, then met Lucas's eye in the rear-view mirror, a silent look passing between them to say they were 'cool', "Thank you, Lucas, this is really nice of you."

Lucas dismissed it with a hand wave and kept his eyes on the road the whole way back to the college. Willow thanked Lucas again when he dropped them off, then all but marched Tara back to their dorm.

"Get in a hot shower right now," she ordered, shaking her head. "And I swear if that stupid timer cuts it off…"

Tara did as she was told and went into the bathroom to start the shower.

Willow started to strip herself off in the bedroom, peeling her clothes away from her body while they stuck to her like a band-aid. She heard a thud as she dropped her jeans and picked them up again, reaching into the tight pocket to pull out her cell phone.

She attempted pressing a few buttons, but it hadn't survived the swim as well as she had.

"Well you're as dead as a dodo," she said, tossing it onto the desk.

The loss of her cell phone would have normally been a cataclysmic event right up there with the 'F' she'd feared earlier, however she wasn't thinking about much but Tara in that moment.

She brought her wet clothes into the bathroom to leave on the tile, then knocked gently on the glass wall of the shower, where Tara was standing underneath the spout, head down and body unmoving.

"Hey, mind if I warm up in there with you?"

She didn't wait for a reply and joined her girlfriend, rubbing her arms again.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

Tara nodded but didn't look up.

"Just feel stupid."

"You shouldn't feel stupid, those doped-up jackasses who threw the ball at you should feel stupid," Willow replied, though saw that didn't seem to change Tara's mood much, "Hey, c'mere."

She pressed their bodies close together in a hug and just held her for a couple of minutes, then started to shampoo her hair, knowing how much she liked it.

"Well one thing's for sure, I'm teaching you how to swim. God, I've never been more terrified."

Tara leaned her forehead down on Willow's shoulder as her hair was rinsed.

"I can't believe you came after me."

"Well I kinda, sorta love you a little bit, doofus," Willow replied, gently lifting Tara's head to look in her eyes, "I'd take a bullet for you."

Tara wrapped her arms around Willow's shoulder and held her tight.

"Yeah, well lucky that won't ever happen."

Willow closed the embrace and kissed Tara's ear.

"So I think the first point of order is some comfy jammies, second point of order is snuggles and third point of order is a nap. Whaddya say?"

Tara nodded but didn't let go.

"That sounds good."

Willow turned the water off before they got a cold spray, and got a towel so she could gently dry Tara off.

Tara accepted the tender touch and another soft kiss from Willow, then found some comfy sweats and a t-shirt to wear. The room was stuffy from the humid heat outside, so Willow opted for some sleep shorts and a tank.

Tara couldn't help but appreciate how the shorts framed Willow's buttocks, especially when she bent over to towel-dry her hair. She settled back on the bed to watch the wiggle of her girlfriend's hips, but had to laugh when Willow straightened up, hair flying in all directions.

"What're you laughing at?" Willow asked with a knowing grin as she tossed her towel away and picked up a hairbrush.

Tara just smiled, but noticed something fall from the desk when Willow threw the towel.

"Will, you dropped your phone."

Willow picked the phone up and left it on the desk again.

"It's trash anyway. Maybe I can recycle it."

Tara was confused for a moment why Willow's cell was suddenly trash – she'd seen her playing with it on the bus – before realising.

"Did it…did it get wrecked when you came in after me?"

"Remembered to take my shoes off but not empty my pockets," Willow replied with a wry grin as she bounced onto the bed with Tara, "Lucky I didn't bring my wallet with me."

Tara swallowed guiltily.

"W-Willow, I'm sorry, I'll pay–"

Willow made a grab for Tara's hand, cutting off that train of thought straight away.

"Tara. It is not your fault you were practically shoved off a bridge," she said, bringing her hand up to kiss her knuckles, then smiled reassuringly, "I was due an upgrade anyway. I'll go to the store tomorrow and pick up a new one, easy. Don't even worry about it. I'm not. Now, wanna watch a movie pre-nappage?"

Tara nodded and Willow went to pick out and set up a DVD, then retook the prime cuddling position.

"You feel warmed up," she said softly, gently kissing Tara's arm.

"Well you're helping," Tara replied, turning her head in to press their lips together, "I love you."

Willow smiled and nuzzled their noses together.

"I love you too."

If Tara didn't know that before, the thirty foot leap to save her had certainly convinced her. She enlaced their fingers and rested her head under Willow's chin, taking in her familiar scent and listening to the gentle rhythm of her heartbeat.

"I know. It's mystifying sometimes. But I know."

* * *

"I never knew there were so many different types of cell phones."

Tara looked around the store in awe of all the different displays. She hadn't been in many electronic stores in her time, much less one dedicated just to phones, and had always sort of thought everyone had the same one.

Willow looked around too, but this was the kind of place she hung out in for fun, so nothing was a shock to her.

"They're all pretty much the exact same, really…except some flip and some slide and some do neither," she explained, showing said mechanisms on a few models, "You can take pictures and videos and even go on the internet, oh and Bluetooth, which is like open wireless technology and…I'm completely boring you."

Tara tried to take in what Willow was saying and keep up, but her face apparently gave her away.

"Sorry."

Willow just smiled and rubbed Tara's shoulder affectionately.

"Don't worry. I'll go talk to the techie guy and get us out of here quick."

"Take your time," Tara reassured as Willow walked over to talk to one of the people behind the counter.

"So this is my best option?" Willow asked a few minutes later as she looked at the plans available to her side by side, "Or this one?"

She peered between the two plans and didn't see much difference, but then something else in a different column caught her eye.

"Wait, what about this one?"

The sales clerk looked where she was pointing and shook his head.

"That's a family plan, ma'am."

"Yeah, no, I know," Willow replied, looking in over, "But it's pretty much the same price."

The guy examined the details.

"It has a limited amount of minutes, but still has the unlimited texting."

"Well I barely use my minutes anyway!" Willow exclaimed, getting excited as an idea formed, "I get two phones on this plan, right? Do you have any deals on phones?"

She bounced excitedly around the store as she was shown various phones, then did her best to contain herself to try and strike a deal. When she squeezed the best offer she thought she was going to get, she rushed over to Tara, who was idly pressing some buttons on a model phone.

"Tara, Tara," she said excitedly, taking her girlfriend's hand, "I want to talk to you about something."

"Okay," Tara replied, wondering how she would be able to help with a cell phone decision.

Willow lifted herself onto her toes giddily.

"I found this plan and it's the same price as I've been paying all along, but for two phones!"

"Two?" Tar asked in confusion, "Why do you need two?"

"No, Tara, it's a family plan," Willow replied, the gestured towards her when Tara still didn't seem to get it, "For you, too!"

Tara dropped her gaze shyly and shook her head.

"I-I can't afford–"

"No, baby, you wouldn't have to pay anything…'cause it would be costing me the same anyway," Willow quickly assured.

Tara was completely surprised by the offer, but wary.

"It would really cost you the same?"

Willow nodded.

"Uh huh, I can show you if you want."

"What about the, um, phones?" Tara asked, guessing such devices were probably expensive.

Willow was growing even more excited, hoping she was reeling Tara in to the idea.

"Well, I talked to the guy and he said he'd give me fifty bucks off if I bought two, plus there's a rebate offer, so when you do all the math, two phones will end up costing the same as one. Okay, maybe ten bucks more, but it's just ten dollars. What do you think, are you in?"

Tara considered it a moment.

"Just ten dollars?"

"Just ten dollars," Willow nodded, unintentionally squeezing Tara's hand tighter as she waited for an answer.

Tara needed another moment to think; it was a kind and generous offer, but she didn't want to mooch off of her girlfriend.

"And it really costs the exact same?" she asked once more, then smiled when Willow confirmed, "Okay, then yes, that's very sweet of you."

Willow clapped her hands excitedly.

"This is so great! We can text and, and well, probably mostly text, but still! I'll just go sort everything out!"

She rushed back over to the counter and organized the details with the sales clerk, then got out her wallet to pay. Tara came up beside her then, $10 bill already out.

Willow was about to protest but sensed it was important to Tara to pay the difference, so said nothing. They paid and Willow eagerly took the bag, then skipped out onto the street.

She wasted no time in hurrying them back to their dorm, and once there, clawed the phones from their boxes so she could set them up. Tara sat cross-legged on the bed and watched her in amusement as Willow excitedly pressed buttons on both phones.

"I'll put Becky's number in here for you, and mine of course, and we can put more in if you need them," Willow said as she customised the settings for easiest use for Tara, "Here you go! Your brand new phone!"

Tara took the phone as presented and looked blankly at the keys.

"I barely learned to type on a computer keyboard. And even then it's with two fingers."

"You can do some incredible things with two fingers," Willow replied off the bat, eliciting a huge blush from Tara.

Willow giggled.

"It's okay, I'll show you," she said as he scooted nearer Tara, "I'll show you how to send a text message, okay?"

She showed Tara how to find the 'messages' folder on the menu, and how to start a new message.

"See, all the numbers correspond to a set of letters…tap one for the first letter, twice quickly for the second, or three times quickly for the third. Get it?"

Tara thought she did and experimented with some random letters until she got the timing down.

"Okay, now try sending a message," Willow encouraged.

Tara was slow, but did manage to type out a message, and figure out how to select Willow as the recipient. Willow's phone buzzed a minute later. She opened the message and smiled.

"I love you, too, cutie."

"I did it?" Tara asked, thrilled to have gotten it right.

"You sure did," Willow replied proudly, tapping away at her own phone.

Tara felt the phone vibrate in her hand then and watched the screen light up. She saw the notification for a new message and figured out the 'open' button without help.

**_Smile if you think I'm sexy_**

Willow watched Tara smile first, then giggle and found herself doing the same.

"Oh, this is going to be fun."


	30. Chapter 30

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you enjoyed it! Yep, Willow's large with the protective instincts!

**Emerald Demona** – Aww, thank you :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I don't mind buses too much, but I hate when you're cramped into a seat with a heavy bag on your lap and someone sits beside you. Especially when there's other seats available -_-

Oh I'm not underestimating the vertical fun. I'm all about the vertical and rarely about the horizontal…but Willow and Tara…they're a different story ;)

Yes, or you're saving the last most delicious bite and take a little break before you eat it and bam! Someone takes it off your plate thinking you're finished.

The move is kind of a joke that I'll probably expand on again. Hint: Do you watch HIMYM? Lucas ain't so bad, you're right.

I think only concern for Tara stopped her actually throwing one of them over.

I felt cruel writing it, but I couldn't resist.

* * *

Tara busied herself in the back room of the administration office, filing the many forms and paperwork that passed through on a daily basis.

She was happy to spend her time working in there, even though she quite liked the women she worked with, it was a small office and got crowded quickly.

She hummed quietly to herself as she sorted papers into their various folders, until one of the women called her name. She popped her head around and saw Judy handing her cell phone to her, having mistakenly picked it up.

"Very sorry dear, we have the same message tone."

"That's okay," Tara replied, checking the message quickly.

_**Ready to get wet later?**_

"The kids are so forward these days," Judy commented to the other two, grinning just slightly.

Tara turned bright red and quickly shook her head.

"I-it's not…" she started, pocketing her phone and taking some soft breaths to calm her cheeks, "She's taking me swimming."

"In my day a date was a nice dinner and trip to the drive-in," Judy said, pushing her glasses up on her face, "I won't say what went on there, but it wasn't usually watching a movie."

Tara went to collect the newest pile of papers to be filed.

"It's not a date. She's teaching me. I had an accident last weekend and fell into a river."

All three women expressed their concern at that, but Tara was quick to reassure she was okay and got back to work.

Willow had been quite serious when she'd mentioned teaching her how to swim and Tara had felt compelled to agree after the incident, though was nervous about their first lesson that afternoon.

They were going to the pool on campus, so Tara wasn't worried about getting swept away by the water, but she was a little embarrassed at needing to be taught at all.

She hoped she didn't make too big a fool of herself.

She tried not to think about it as she got on with her work. She settled easily into her routine of work and kept her head buried in paperwork until she heard some chatter, more than usual, from the office. A glance at the clock told her what the likely cause was.

"You're a sweet girl, coming for her every afternoon like this."

"I miss her," Willow answered Judy, getting quite used to the interrogation every time she came to collect Tara. Her face lit up as she appeared, "Hi baby!"

"Hi," Tara replied, smiling softly, then spoke to her co-workers, "Um, I got A through K done for those freshman files, is that okay?"

All three women smiled and nodded at her, so Tara walked around the desk to take Willow's hand.

"Have fun swimming!" Judy called after them and the other two could be heard laughing.

"Oh, you told them?" Willow asked, holding the door outside open.

"They saw your text," Tara replied and saw Willow try to hide a grin, "Don't look all innocent, you know what you said."

"Well at least someone got a giggle out of it," Willow replied, sticking out her tongue, "Do you want to get some lunch before I become Willow Rosenberg: Master Swim Coach?"

Tara shook her head, eyes on the ground.

"I don't think I could eat much."

"Are you feeling okay, baby?" Willow asked in concern.

"I just feel stupid that I don't know how," Tara admitted sheepishly, "To swim, I mean."

"Don't feel stupid. You can't know something you were never taught," Willow reassured with a gentle back rub, "We can skip lunch if you want."

Tara's nerves weren't exactly quashed, but she knew Willow must be hungry.

"No, let's get something."

"Great!" Willow replied, leading them towards the cafeteria, "My belly is begging me for some fries."

Tara rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"It's amazing you're not covered in zits the amount of greasy food you eat."

"Years of conditioning!" Willow quipped, again being the gentlewoman she was to open the door for Tara, "You can eat apples and I'll eat potato chips and we can stay hopelessly in love because opposites attract. You can't argue with science, Tara."

"I wouldn't even try with you around," Tara replied with a wry, crooked smile, "Sometimes I think science is your mistress."

"Pfft," Willow said with a dismissive hand wave, "Science is just a hobby. My laptop is my mistress."

Tara giggled, a sound that always sent a jolt of joy to Willow's heart. They went through the cafeteria line, Tara getting a turkey sandwich and Willow a double helping of fries, then went to sit around a table in the corner.

"Can I snag a fry before you empty the whole salt cellar onto your plate?" Tara asked with a playful smile.

"Alright, Teasey McTease," Willow replied with a chuckle, leaving a generous handful of fries onto Tara's plate, "Why do you care so much about my clogged arteries anyway?"

Tara picked up half of her sandwich to take a bite from.

"Well if I'm going to spend my life with you, I'd like it to be a long one."

Both of them paused then; Tara with her sandwich halfway to her mouth and Willow with the salt cellar in her hand.

Willow took a moment to really hear what Tara said. She still felt the initial thrill of the implication but thought about what her girlfriend really meant.

She was part of an 'us' now, an 'us' that she wanted to be a part of forever. An 'us' she was sure Tara felt the same way about. And that meant making sure she was her very best self, for herself, and for Tara.

She didn't plan to start an all-kale diet and take up running right that second, but she knew she could do better to eat healthier.

She left the salt down and smiled.

"Wanna half that sandwich?"

Tara handed half her sandwich over without question but looked worried that she'd spoken out of turn. She knew she'd expressed her interest in the very long-term with Willow, but never quite so offhand.

"Willow, I-I say things I shouldn't, often actually, and in public, but–"

Willow scooted her chair closer to Tara and took her hand, then lifted it and softly kissed her ring finger.

"Know where I just kissed?" she asked, then smiled when Tara shook her head, "Where I'm gonna put a ring someday."

Tara looked overcome for a moment, so Willow pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

"You don't need to worry about playing games with me, Tara. Tell me how you feel. You won't scare me off. I already want forever with you."

Tara looked over to meet Willow's eye.

"I want that, too."

Willow smiled softly.

"Well, good. So you can teach me how to take better care of myself so we can be healthy little old ladies together, and I'll teach you how to swim so that we can visit all the exotic beaches in the world and go skinny dipping," she said, giggling, "Deal?"

"Deal," Tara replied promptly.

Willow offered her pinky, which Tara linked and used to pull her in for a quick, chaste kiss.

Willow smiled happily and picked up her half of the sandwich to eat. She looked surprised as she took the first bite.

"Hey, this is good! What's all the crunchy stuff?"

"Lettuce and cucumber," Tara answered, one eyebrow quirking upwards, "You've never had a sandwich before?"

"Yeah but I normally pick out the green-y stuff," Willow replied, peering between the bread to learn more about this new vegetable wonderland, "Do all veggies taste this good? I mean, I've eaten some onions and peppers and stuff but only when they're buried deep in lasagnes and pizzas."

Tara felt sad for a moment that Willow had clearly never had a real, home-cooked meal.

"You can try different kinds and see what you like," she replied, transferring some of her side salad to Willow's plate, the fries pretty much abandoned, "Try some of that. There's radish and carrots in there, and some beets."

Willow's attitude towards vegetables before had resembled that of a petulant child, mostly because her parents had never bothered to force that attitude from her. She was willing to try for Tara, however, and was quite excited they weren't the horrible slimy mess she thought they were.

She tried all the different components of the salad, giving each a thorough chew. She quite enjoyed most of it, though one thing left a bad taste in her mouth.

"Not too sure about these things, are they the radishes?"

"They're the beets," Tara replied.

Willow pushed the beets to the corner of her plate.

"Okay, not so much with them…but the rest is good! I hope you realise the small miracle you've performed getting me to eat and actually _like_this stuff!"

Tara took the beets back to eat herself.

"When was the last time you ate a vegetable that wasn't on a pizza or in a pasta?"

Willow had to think about it for a moment.

"My Bat Mitzvah?" she asked and saw the surprise on Tara's face, "I know I'm a bit of a spoiled brat sometimes… just… lots of ready meals and take-out from junior high onwards. I really thought I was getting all I needed from them… you know, carbs, dairy, meat and veg on a pepperoni and mushroom pizza."

Tara just smiled.

"There's nothing wrong with pizza every once in a while."

"And there's nothing wrong with vegetables at all!" Willow replied, amazed at the words coming out of her mouth, "Look at that! I don't even want the fries!"

She looked at them for a moment, then picked a few up sheepishly.

"Okay, maybe one."

Tara smiled again and had a couple, too – she liked to eat well because it made her feel good, especially after going through so many years of malnourishment when she lived with her father, but in no way wanted to be the food police. Still, she was happy she could show Willow that vegetables weren't the Devil.

They finished up and got back to their dorm, where Willow seemed eager to get on with their plans for the day.

"So, wanna get changed and head back out?"

Nerves were getting the better of Tara.

"Don't we have to wait thirty minutes?"

Willow smiled, mistaking the procrastination for enthusiasm.

"Uh huh, you're right! But we can still throw a bag together and we have to get across campus to the pool. Oh, and I got you something!"

Tara looked concerned as Willow went to the closet to root through a bag, hoping a skimpy bikini wasn't going to come out in place of the demure swimsuit she'd bought for herself.

"Here it is!" Willow eventually said, pulling out a circular container and offering it to Tara, "Goggles, so you can see under the water!"

Tara twisted the top off to let the goggles come out. Nerves aside, she couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, Willow."

"You're welcome," Willow replied, pulling an old beach bag out from the closet, "Okay, we need towels and shampoo and–"

"Shampoo?" Tara asked.

"Uh huh, for showering after," Willow replied, getting everything together.

Tara watched her and sank down to sit on the bed.

"S-showering…in the pool?"

"No, silly," Willow giggled, "In the showers in the locker room. Get all the chlorine and stuff out."

"Right, okay," Tara replied, resigning herself to getting through this.

Willow threw her older swimsuit that hadn't been used in a while in the bag along with Tara's brand new one they'd gotten during the week and remembered a hair brush at the last minute.

"Okay, that's everything. Unless you want new clothes? But as long as the ones you're wearing don't get wet, they'll be fine."

Tara was once again confused.

"I t-thought I wore the swimsuit in the pool."

Willow smiled softly, finding Tara's unfamiliarity with all things swimming both adorable and sad; adorable that she got to experience her learning something and sad that she'd lost her main parental figure before she'd had a chance to be taught.

"You do, I mean if they get dropped on the floor or something."

"Oh, okay," Tara nodded, embarrassed at being so unfamiliar with something.

Willow zipped the bag up and left it by the door, then sat down behind Tara and gently massaged her shoulders.

"Relax. We're gonna take it real slow," she reassured but didn't feel Tara's tension ease at all, "Tara, if you don't want to do this, we don't have to. I just…if something like that happened again…and…and…"

She couldn't bring herself to even talk about the possibility of Tara being hurt. Tara felt Willow's head drop to the back of her shoulder and nodded a few times for self-reassurance.

"No, it's good. I s-should learn. And…and you won't laugh at me or anything."

Willow's arms wrapped around Tara's torso from behind.

"'Course I won't."

She kissed Tara's ear gently, then offered her hand to help her up. She grabbed the bag with their things and held Tara's hand tight as they strolled across campus to the leisure centre. She peered in at the pool as they passed on the way to the locker room and was grateful to see only one person doing laps. It would give them plenty of room and hopefully ease Tara's embarrassment.

"In here, baby," she guided as they approached the locker room.

Tara followed Willow into the locker room. A bench was attached to the wall in an L shape around the room, and there were a couple of shower cubicles ahead. Willow went to a corner of the room and dropped the bag, then started to strip off.

She felt herself being watched and looked over her shoulder to Tara.

"Your stuff is here," she said, pointing to where she'd laid it out.

Tara looked away from Willow's legs and walked over. She sat on the bench and got her shoes, socks and pants off, but was struggling to get her shirt unbuttoned, worried someone might walk in.

Willow smoothed out the twisted straps on her shoulders until her swimsuit was on her snugly, then glanced at Tara and easily guessed her predicament. She grabbed one of the towels and held it up and around her, giving her a private semi-circle to change in.

"Thank you," Tara said, touched at the gesture without the need for her to even say anything.

"You're welcome," Willow replied, smiling, quite happy with what she was getting out of the deal – wiggles and jiggles in all the right places until Tara finally had her swimsuit on.

"I feel like I'm in my underwear," Tara said, pulling at the ends to try and cover her thighs.

"Nobody can see anything when you're in the water," Willow reassured, "Don't forget your goggles."

Tara got her goggles and followed Willow through the foot bath and out to the poolside. It was larger than she'd thought it would be, but was happy to see how clear the water was and that she could see the bottom.

"We'll get in slow, okay?" Willow said as she sat down and let her calves dangle into the water.

Tara sat by her and copied, her toes dipping in first and the rest of her leg following up to the back of her knee.

"This water feels much nicer than the river."

"Yeah, no kidding," Willow replied with a small grin, "We're lucky we didn't get dysentery."

Tara smiled and gently kicked her feet back and forth a couple of times to get used to the feel.

"I think I'm ready to get in."

Willow slid the rest of the way into the water, which came up mid-chest, and stood in front of Tara, offering her hands to help her in.

Tara took one and kept hold of the pool edge with the other, using both as leverage until she was standing firm.

"Let's just walk around the water for a little bit, okay? Get used to it."

Tara liked that idea and nodded. She started to wade through the water, twisting her body around.

She didn't notice she was letting her feet float every few steps until she accidentally wandered in water above her height and started to flounder. Willow was over in a flash, grabbing her and holding her against the edge.

"I've got you, I've got you," she reassured, gently moving them along back to shallower water, "I should've walked with you, I'm sorry. We'll stay up here now, okay?"

Tara kept a hand on the wall until she felt safe to stand again.

"I-I'm sorry if I'm embarrassing you."

"You're not embarrassing me at all," Willow replied lovingly, "I think you're very brave for doing this."

There were some splashing sounds then as the man who had been swimming lengths finished his set and disappeared into the locker room.

"Now, look, we're all alone," Willow smiled, seeing Tara relax a little at that, "I'll show you how to kick first, okay?"

She guided Tara to hold onto the wall and showed her the short, shallow kick technique; based on her own memories of learning how to swim and some instruction guides she'd looked up in preparation.

"Keep your legs straight," she encouraged, then smiled when she saw a hint of a grin on Tara's face, "I think you're having fun!"

Tara smiled a little wider; she was definitely having more fun than she thought she would.

She copied the arm motions for a freestyle stroke when Willow showed her, then worked on doing them while just standing in the water.

"Uh huh, just keep your elbows bent a little more," Willow encouraged, "There you go, you got it! Wanna try it with the kicks?"

Tara straightened up nervously.

"I-I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"I'll hold you under the water on your stomach, you just have to do the motions," Willow replied, holding her palms out in indication, "And we're right in the shallow end, so if you start to stumble, I'll catch you."

Tara took a deep breath and pushed her legs out from beneath her. She had a moment of panic but Willow's hands were under her stomach in less than a second, keeping her steady.

She felt a little silly to be in such a position, but started to kick and repeated the arm strokes.

"That's it, baby, you're doing it!" Willow said, very gently moving Tara back and forth so she was used to the feeling of the water going past, "You're doing so good!"

Willow slowly moved one hand away so she was only giving Tara the least bit of support. Tara didn't seem to even notice and continued swimming in place.

"Tara, do you want to try swimming a width?" Willow asked when they stopped for a break, "I really think you can do it."

Tara looked over to the far pool edge.

"A width? Just across?"

"Just across," Willow confirmed, then waded over to the other side, "Just to me."

The other side of the pool could have been the length of a football field as far as Tara was concerned as it loomed in front of her, but looked on determinedly.

She had a few false starts, her nerves and footing foiling her slightly, but finally managed to push off from the wall. Her arms moved in the right motion, if a little sloppy, and her feet kicked like her life depended on it, but she made it to the other side of the pool without stopping once.

"You did it, you did it!" Willow exclaimed, clapping and jumping around excitedly, "I'm so proud of you!"

She threw her arms around Tara's neck and hugged her tight.

"You are amazing."

Tara was flushing from exertion and in pride.

"It was only a little ways."

"Who cares, you did it!" Willow replied, proud as punch, "Show me again, show me again!"

Tara showed off her new skills a couple of times, with much fanfare from Willow.

"Tara, I can't believe how good you are," Willow said to her genuinely, "Really, you're phenomenal. You are!"

Tara looked down shyly, so Willow waded over to peck her cheek.

"Hey, wanna float?"

"Float?" Tara asked.

Willow nodded, smiling softly.

"You won't sink or anything. We just…float."

She let herself fall onto her back to demonstrate. Tara copied her and fell in line beside her.

"This is…peaceful."

Willow smiled, gently running the water through her fingers.

"I feel like an otter," she said, turning her head just enough to catch a glimpse of Tara, "They hold hands when they sleep, you know. So they won't float away from each other."

She felt Tara's hand slip into hers a moment later and the smile completely broke out on her face.

"You did so great today," she said, feeling more proud of Tara than anything else she had before.

"I just splashed around," Tara replied, but Willow was quick to correct.

"Nuh uh, you swam. You really did. And you were good, you were great."

Tara smiled over at Willow.

"You're a great teacher."

Willow lifted their conjoined hands to press a kiss to the back of Tara's.

"You're a great student."

They shared a loving look for a moment, but it wasn't long before Willow burst out with a giggle.

"And you look _great_ in that swimsuit."


	31. Chapter 31

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you enjoyed it! I think we can all agree on the hotness of Tara in a bikini ;)

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – I think it is good advice, Tara's onto something there (and she was most definitely stalling :P) Glad you enjoyed it :)

**Errik's angel – **I think they are definitely better people with each other! Glad you're still enjoying it!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I like space :P And my bag generally has my laptop and other things in it, hence heavy.

I don't mind sharing, I just hate the taking-without-asking thing.

Yeah, HIMYM is quite Friends-y without being as funny. I watched it for a while, but I stopped this season. But I wanted to do this thing with Lucas as an in-joke kind of thing since a lot of W/T fans do watch.

She's the kind you'd cringe and laugh at (she's sort of based on one of my aunts actually :P)

Ha! I'm sorry she can't join your club, maybe you'll find someone else!

* * *

"I can't believe this is my last week of classes. Did summer go by quick or am I crazy?"

Tara glanced over at Willow, who was checking the contents of her camera bag, while she laced up her boots.

"Yeah, I guess it did. There's still a couple of weeks left."

"A couple of weeks of freedom!" Willow replied, keen for their plans of getting to places like the Gardens and the beach before real classes started up again, "Are you gonna come collect me when I'm done?"

Tara finished her lacing and looked up, a look of regret on her face.

"I have to do the campus tours, you know I do."

Willow didn't even try to hide her pout; she wasn't enjoying Tara's all-day work schedule of late.

"Do you not get bored, saying the same things, over and over again? This building was built in blah blah blah and this random thing happened here and oh you should really come to school here 'cause it's the absolute best!"

Tara went to check her appearance in the mirror.

"I say what I get paid to say."

"You have the patience of a saint," Willow replied, shaking her head, "Well at least walk me there. It's on your way."

Tara pulled the end of her shirt to smooth it out and smiled.

"Okay, bossy."

"I'm not bossy, I'm cranky," Willow replied, throwing her camera bag over her shoulder, "So I like actually spending time with my girlfriend, sue me."

Tara walked over and gave Willow's shoulder a gentle rub.

"I'll be back at 4."

Willow lifted her chin defiantly and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well maybe I won't be back 'til 5."

Tara pecked Willow's cheek.

"Okay, I'll wait for you."

Willow dropped her arms, exasperated.

"Why are you so nice all the time?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Tara asked, pocketing her keys.

Willow walked over and wrapped her arms around Tara from behind.

"Because your bratty girlfriend needs to stop being a baby."

Tara leaned back and offered her hand.

"My lovely girlfriend needs to get to class."

Willow took Tara's hand and they walked from their building across campus. Their first stop off was Willow's photography class where they said their goodbyes, then Tara trotted off to the admin building to start her work day.

She busied herself with filing, as ever, until it was time to start the first of three afternoon university tours for new freshman and prospective students. Although she was given a lunch break, she always felt bad for leaving before all her office work was done, so often just grabbed a granola bar between jobs.

The first tour finished without event and Tara took a break to slug some water, the hot August heat getting to her. She waited at the meet-up point for the next set of people to arrive, but had to groan inwardly when she saw a group of rowdy boys in high school varsity jackets approaching.

She wasn't one to pre-judge, but they were being loud enough for her to know she was going to struggle to stay in control.

"A-are you all here for the tour?" she asked as they gathered in front of her, noticing the nudges they were all giving each other.

"I know where I'd like to take a tour of!" one of the boys shouted from the back, giving rise to cheers and wolf whistles.

Tara gritted her teeth a moment and tried to remain professional, standing up straight and gesturing around her.

"This is the lower campus quad, a meeting place for a lot of students, or even somewhere to eat lunch or study on a nice day. We'll do a full circle of the campus, starting with the library and arts building and move on from there…"

She managed to lead them around the academic buildings and student centre without too much event, but was choosing to ignore the catcalls and obscene gestures coming from them.

She was feeling entirely worn out by the time they got to the only open residence building, her own, and wanted to get them through as quickly as possible so she could take a break.

"Most dorms are two-person, some are larger rooms split in two for four people," she said as they walked them down her own hallway.

"Do you live here?" one of the guys in front, that had the most bravado of them all, which was saying something, asked; the look in his eyes bordering over from teasing to predatory.

"Um, yes, I live right here," Tara replied, gesturing at her door, though distracted as she tried to stop one of the boys from the hilarious prank of upturning a trash can on another's head, before leading them off again, "All buildings have their own kitchen and laundry room…"

She led them down the stairway to the laundry room and let them all pile in to have a look around. The same guy who'd enquired about her living quarters earlier held the door open for her.

"Thank you," Tara replied cordially.

"No problem," the boy replied, leering over Tara's shoulder to look down her top.

Tara quickly looked away, embarrassed. She made her way to the front of the group again and brought them around the rest of the building and finally back to their starting point in the quad.

"Has anyone any questions?" she asked, eager to finish up before quickly tacking on, "About the campus."

There was a chorus of shaking heads, something Tara was quite grateful for.

"Okay, then. If you have any questions in future, feel free to contact the college. Have a good day."

The boys all broke apart, but Tara's admirer approached her.

"Hey, if I decide to come here next year, might need some real showing around, you know."

Tara picked up on the tone, but didn't want to acknowledge it.

"There's bus tours of the city you can get…you can pick up a leaflet in the admin office."

She pointed in its direction, but he just sidled up closer.

"I prefer a personal touch."

Tara was started to feel her personal space severely invaded and decided to be clear.

"I-I'm not interested."

The boy scoffed, clearly not something he was used to hearing.

"I'm AJ Jackson. I'm the quarterback. Looking a full ride, no matter what school I want to go to."

"T-that's very nice, but I'm with someone," Tara replied, hoping that would be enough to get him to leave.

"You might not be next year…" AJ said in a suggestive tone, taking another opportunity to peer down Tara's top.

"Yes, I will," Tara replied adamantly, "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested. At all."

AJ looked like he'd been slapped in the face – rejection was something he'd dealt with never.

"Whatever, bitch," he snarled.

Tara turned around and started to walk to the other side of the quad. She didn't notice her keys falling out of her back pocket on the way.

She kept her eyes on the grass for several minutes before chancing a look up, grateful that AJ had scarpered. She waited there for the next half hour, fifteen minutes after her last tour was to start, and was relieved when no one appeared to be coming – she just had to wait another five until she could consider it officially cancelled.

She left it another ten, just to be sure, then moved off and walked back to the dorm building. She searched her keys for her pockets and sighed when they were nowhere to be found, then was about to knock when Willow suddenly appeared at the top of the hallway.

"Hey, you said you'd be back at four! I was going to surprise you with flower petals!"

She gestured to the bag of petals she'd spent the last hour painstakingly plucking as she approached.

"No one showed up for the last tour, so I could come home," Tara replied, then smiled and leaned over to pop a soft kiss on Willow's lips, "You're sweet. Can you let us in? I think I left my keys inside this morning."

Willow was sure she remembered seeing Tara put her keys in her pocket, but figured she must have been mistaking in for a different morning. She opened the door for them.

"How was your class?" Tara asked, emptying her pockets onto the desk.

"Turn around," Willow said to her as she started to toss handfuls of petals onto the bed, "She left the hardest assignment for last, but she liked my picture of the wave for 'motion'. Said I caught the light really well."

Tara dutifully turned around to Willow could keep up the pretence of surprise.

"What's the assignment?"

"Poetry," Willow replied, obviously disdainful, "Like what am I supposed to do, photograph a page of a book? Reading it, yes; photographing it, no."

"I'm sure you'll come up with a great idea, you have on all the others…" Tara replied encouragingly, "Think outside the box."

"Having a different perspective is hard," Willow grumbled, but her voice became perky as she threw the last of the petals on the bed and clapped, "Okay, turn back around!"

Tara turned back around and smiled.

"You did all this just for me?"

"Yeah, are you surprised?" Willow asked, giddy despite knowing otherwise.

"Very," Tara replied, holding out her hands.

Willow gladly took them and pulled Tara close. She crossed her arms behind Tara's neck and kissed her softly.

They fell to the bed together a second later.

Ten feet away, having rushed to hide in the closet when he'd heard someone at the door, AJ's mouth dropped open as he took in what he was seeing.

He wasn't sure what he'd planned on doing when he'd picked up Tara's keys. Maybe break some of her things for daring to reject him; maybe steal a pair of her panties to boast to his teammates about. He wasn't sure, but he was a man of opportunity and that was one he couldn't pass up.

He had expected plenty of time to get in and out, not anticipating another set of keys being available as quickly, so had to act quickly to jump into the closet.

A decision he was currently considering the best one he ever made.

"Jackpot," he whispered, whipping his phone from his pocket and angling the camera between slats of the closet door.

Tara's head lifted away from Willow's and she glanced around the room.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Willow asked, her hands annoyingly stilled over Tara's collarbone.

"I heard something," Tara replied, casting a look behind her as if she expected something to pop out.

Willow tugged the collar of Tara's shirt lightly to pull her back down.

"It's probably the wind."

Tara didn't look convinced.

"There's barely a breeze out today."

Willow pursed her lips for a moment in silence.

"Listen. Nothing but my lips screaming for kisses."

Tara had to concede there was nothing to be heard, so started to settle back down. She let Willow kiss her again and was starting to get really into it, when she heard another odd sound. Her ears were perked this time, and she identified it coming from the closet.

She jumped up, much to Willow's annoyance.

"Tara," Willow groaned, "Things creak sometimes, it's nothing to freak out ab–holy crap!"

Willow's eyes went wide as she saw the tall stranger standing in the closet when Tara flung the door open and instantly scrambled for the phone.

"W-We need security–"

AJ was frozen in place, trying to hide both his camera and his crotch, but after a moment of readjustment, decided to make a run for it.

"Get out of my way, you dumb bitch!" he said to Tara, backhanding her out of the way.

Willow jumped to the floor to catch Tara before she hit it.

"Tara!"

She cradled Tara's head and examined the bleeding cut on her cheek where AJ's bulky watch had connected.

"Oh baby, oh baby."

She saw AJ about to make his escape, but he was met by two even bigger and burlier campus police officers when he opened the door.

"What's going on here?" one of them asked, blocking his exit.

"That guy was hiding in our closet!" Willow exclaimed, "Then he shoved Tara trying to get out!"

The officers exchanged a look and one roughly grabbed AJ's arm to bring him away, while the other stayed and called for EMS on his radio.

"I-I'm okay," Tara spoke up for the first time, her head swimming a little.

"It's standard procedure. You won't be brought to hospital unless it's necessary," the officer replied, firm but kind, "We'll get you checked out and then bring you in for a statement. What happened here?"

"We just came in here a few minutes ago and Tara was hearing weird noises and then he's just jumping out of the closet!" Willow replied, in total shock.

"You've never seen him before?" the officer questioned.

"No!" Willow all but yelled, making Tara grimace.

"I-I have. He took a campus tour with the rest of his football team earlier," she said, before adding on meekly and with a blush, "He asked me out and I said no. H-He must've taken my keys…I thought I just forgot them."

Willow saw red then, but didn't get a chance to act as the EMS arrived and came in to assess Tara.

He made sure she didn't have a concussion, then checked her cheek and determined it needed no stitches, so bandaged it up for her.

"Put some Neosporin on it a couple of times a day and keep gauze over it," he said, handing her some extra gauze, "If you start to get dizzy or begin vomiting, call a doctor or get to the ER."

Tara nodded, grateful she didn't have to go to the hospital. She felt Willow's hand in hers a moment later.

"I'll help you stand," she said gently, having calmed down from her initial rage, knowing it was no help to Tara.

The officer kindly offered his arm to assist too and Tara wasn't too proud to take all the help she was given, quite shaken up. He brought them down to the station, where Tara retold her experience with AJ earlier in the day, and then they both told what had happened just then.

They had to tell it three or four times to make sure all the details were right, then were told to wait while AJ was assessed.

"Do you want a hot cocoa or something?" Willow asked, keeping her arms around Tara as they sat in the cold, plastic chairs going into the second hour.

"No, thank you," Tara replied quietly, "I really just want to go home and sleep."

"I know, baby," Willow replied, leaving a gentle kiss on her temple, "Do you want me to go hurry them–"

She was interrupted as the officer who had stayed with them on the scene beckoned them back into an interview room.

"Here's your keys back, ma'am," he said, handing the set over as he gestured for them to take a seat, "The assailant's cellular phone has been confiscated."

"Why?" Willow asked, confused.

"He had been…recording images," the officer replied, and remained professional as both girls turned the colour of a tomato, "Do you want to press charges against him today?"

Willow was about to shout an adamant 'yes', but quickly realised she really hadn't been the wronged party in this. She quietened down and kept Tara's hand in hers.

"Do you, Tara? I'll do whatever you want."

Tara was silent for a moment, then just shook her head. It was easier to let it go than have to dwell and retell the story for months on end. The officer nodded in acknowledgement, then left the room but came back just a few moments later.

"The boy will be returned to his coach this evening and his name will be blacklisted for attendance here. A copy of the incident will remain on his transcript."

"Bye bye scholarships, Mr. Quarterback," Willow scoffed, thinking that was the least he deserved, "You sure you're okay, baby?"

Tara looked up, embarrassed.

"W-were the images deleted?"

"With no charges going forward, the cell phone will remain in a sealed evidence box," the officer replied diligently, then looked to the side and back to them, "There was nothing compromising, the screen was dark and hindered by the closet door."

Tara nodded in relief.

"Okay. I just want this day to be over."

The officer nodded and stood.

"We'll accompany you back to your dorm and secure the area."

"Do you want to stay somewhere else tonight?" Willow asked, rubbing Tara's arm gently, "I can get us a hotel room."

Tara shook her head.

"No, it's fine. I'm not going to be scared of my own room."

Willow leaned right in then and pressed a lingering, tender kiss just below her ear. The officer looked away and stood to open the door for them. They stood together and clasped hands, but as soon as they left the interview room, a unfamiliar man in a rain jacket that bore the same emblem as AJ's had appeared.

The officer got between them.

"Sir, take a step back, please."

The man did as he was told and held his hands up to indicate he meant no harm, then took his baseball cap off and hung his head as he looked to Tara.

"I apologise, girls, didn't mean to frighten you. I'm AJ's coach and I'm just disgusted by his behaviour. I promise you he won't be getting off lightly. I do appreciate you not pressing charges," he said to her, his eyes both kind and remorseful, "Just wanted to say I'm sorry. Won't take up any more of your time."

He gave a small bow of genuine regret, then fixed his cap back on his head and walked away. Tara watched him leave for a moment, highly appreciative of the apology, then nodded that she was ready to go.

The officer brought them back to their room and left them there alone for a few minutes before reporting back.

"Your room is secure. There will be guards posted outside the building the rest of the night, and the assailant will be on the first plane home with the rest of his group, his coach has assured us."

"Thank you," Willow said for both of them, impressed at how dedicated the campus police were, "Really."

The officer nodded and offered a firm smile before leaving again.

They sat in silence for a moment before Willow finally piped up.

"Well that was some ordeal," she said, turning towards Tara and looking at her cheek forlornly, the big white bandage stinging her heart, "Your poor cheek."

She resisted reaching out to touch it and went to find the gauze and antibiotic cream.

"It's just a scratch," Tara replied, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed.

Willow returned and sat next to her.

"A nasty scratch," she said, gently folding the gauze away.

She tenderly wiped the dried blood away, then applied some of the cream. Tara winced.

"Sorry, baby," Willow said, covering it up with a new piece of gauze, "Are you sure you're okay to stay here tonight?"

Tara nodded resolutely.

"I'm not going to let another person have that kind of control over me again."

Willow held the sides of Tara's face and looked at her in wonder for a moment before pecking her lips affectionately.

"You're so strong."

"Strong like an amazon?" Tara asked with a softly lopsided smile.

"Yeah, strong like an amazon," Willow replied, slowly letting her hands fall down Tara's neck and shoulders as she looked into her tired eyes, "Let me brush all these silly petals off."

She shifted onto her knees and started to wipe the petals from the bedspread.

"They weren't silly, they were very sweet," Tara said, catching a rose petal as it fell near her and toying with it between her fingers.

"Well they can be sweet some other time, 'cause right now this bed needs a sleeping beauty in it," Willow replied, bouncing back to smile at Tara, "And I shall awaken you with True Love's kiss in the morning and we will live happily ever after."

Tara reached out to touch Willow's cheek, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I…just love you."

"And I just love you too," Willow replied, leaning over to wrap her arms around Tara.

They embraced for a few silent moments, content to hold each other, then broke apart to change into pyjamas and get ready for bed.

"Think you'll be able to sleep?" Willow asked, worried Tara would be nervous after their ordeal.

Tara, however, looked completely serene as she settled under the covers – if she hadn't been left with a physical mark, it would seem she'd had a perfectly normal day.

"I feel completely safe."

Willow lifted the sheet and scooted in behind Tara.

"There'll be guards there all night."

Tara smiled softly to herself.

"Not them. You," she clarified, settling her head under Willow's chin, where she always felt the most protected, "I always feel safe with you."


	32. Chapter 32

**gimpy72** – Do you ever need an ass? :P They do seem to pounce when you'd least like them though. However, the attentive security guards did make Tara feel a thousand times better, so that was something. If it's any consolation, I think AJ's football career/scholarships are out the window! Glad you're enjoying the story :)

**Queenphoenix08** – Uh huh, I think any woman with decent standards would turn him down, but unfortunately that 'I'm the quarterback' line probably worked on a lot of high school girls! He's a total creep, but I'm hoping the coach will bench him, which in senior year is bad news and he'll think twice before he acts like that again.

**StephenPG** – Hi there :)Glad you're still enjoying it, and I promise I will lay off Tara!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I think there's few reasons to actually like them

Haha, I'll remember that!

Hehe, I must admit I agree, though I'll sit through almost anything!

Really? Never? Because I only lived in the States for a few years, and I met plenty. I think I had a horribly stereotypical experience.

They do if it's evidence!

I know, Tara's had a rough time of late! Hopefully she'll have better few weeks... until Mia shows up again… ;)

* * *

Willow flicked through a book of photography she'd borrowed from the library, trying to find some inspiration for her last assignment.

She'd already spent the whole morning trying to brainstorm an idea, but it quickly devolved into a fantasy about Tara, so she'd decided to try perusing some books instead.

She sighed when nothing jumped out at her and shifted to lie on her stomach, the mattress beneath her bouncing slightly as she settled.

She bent her knees and kicked her legs back and forth as she flipped the pages, but was getting to the point of frustration when the door opened unexpectedly. She looked up and broke out with a smile when she saw Tara walk through.

"Hey you," she greeted warmly, "You're home early."

Tara shut the door behind her and offered a smile back.

"No more tours. They've suspended them until they can organise security to be there."

Willow jumped up.

"Tara, that's great! At least something good came out of everything," she said, walking over to give her a hug, "So no more work afternoons?"

"Not for a few days anyway," Tara replied, pulling back to peck Willow's lips, "You look busy."

Willow went back to sit on the bed and sighed.

"Trying to figure out an idea for my assignment."

"Anything yet?" Tara asked, sitting opposite her.

"Thought I could maybe choose a poem and write it out with stones or leaves or something," Willow replied, though clearly wasn't enthused by the idea, "I read a Richard Dawkins quote that says 'Science is the poetry of reality'. I kinda like that…but no idea how to make it a photo."

"I like your nature idea," Tara replied, trying to be encouraging, "Like poetry in a poetic setting. There's a lot of science in nature."

Willow idly flicked a page in the book.

"Yeah…"

Tara could tell Willow wasn't saying something.

"What?"

Willow shrugged one shoulder.

"Nothing…just keep imagining…nothing, it's stupid."

Tara smiled to herself; she was quite aware when Willow was acting coy.

"Tell me."

Willow perked up and folded her legs under herself.

"Well, I was thinking about the poetry books we were reading together. And that Sappho one we really liked, Hymn to Aphrodite."

Tara nodded, remembering.

"It's sad."

"Yeah…unrequited love," Willow agreed, "It makes me think of those weeks before we got together…when I thought my feelings were unrequited."

Tara covered Willow's hand and gave it a squeeze. Willow smiled and shuffled closer, then lifted her hand to gently touch Tara's face.

Tara's beauty never ceased to amaze her, but she'd spent almost the whole day thinking about just how perfect she really was.

"I find you… poetic. How your deep blue eyes and plump red lips contrast against your wonderfully creamy skin. How your neck carries you around with such grace. How your back muscles ripple like a river, how your hips slope perfectly and your legs stretch on and on," she gushed, her hand falling gently from Tara's face down her arms and body, "You're crafted like a wonderful poem. You ebb and you flow and move in just perfect rhythm; you're complex yet so humbly simple; you're intense but modest; thoughtful and full of feeling. You exude beauty and you don't even know it. You're the definition of 'classic'."

Tara was more than a little overcome by Willow's words; by the emotion and thought behind them.

"Willow, that's…I-I don't know what to say."

Willow left her hand on Tara's knee before continuing, shyer with the next observation.

"I-I also find our love kind of poetic. I mean, I know I'm just a normal girl and you're, well, you're extraordinary, but poetry speaks to your soul, right? And that's what you do to me. You speak to my soul. And I feel like I speak to yours. Sometimes I look at you and it's like I can see inside you. Not like, muscles and tendons, but just…you."

Tara felt her heart fluttering and a smile stretching out on her face.

"You really know how to make a girl feel special."

Willow sat back and smiled too.

"Well, good. You deserve it. You are."

Tara's cheeks tinged a soft pink as she put two and two together of all Willow had said.

"You want to photograph me?"

Willow clasped her hands in her lap, her eyes lighting up.

"Well, my idea, was, I could write that poem on your back, the Hymn to Aphrodite. Only if you were totally okay with it, of course. I thought I could write a verse from that at the top of your back, and then a verse from that other one we liked underneath. Do you remember?" she asked, reaching for the poetry book among the rest and locating the verse she'd singled out, "'Peer of the gods, the happiest I seem, sitting before thee, rapt at thy sight, hearing thy soft laughter and thy voice most gentle, speaking so sweetly'. That's the English translation, anyway."

"I remember," Tara nodded, taking the book to read over it when Willow offered.

"Well that's you, I mean, that's how I feel about you," Willow explained, the idea having formed in her head throughout the day, "That's the present…so there's past and present…and you know, poems have a beginning and a middle."

Tara looked up.

"And an end."

"Right," Willow agreed, biting her lip with giddy shyness, "Which would represent future…ours."

"Does Sappho have a poem for that?" Tara asked, her lips sloping up on one side.

Willow always felt herself fall in love when Tara smiled like that. It took her a second to realise she'd been asked a question.

"Uh, not really. But in keeping with the Greek theme, I thought I could put the word for 'eternal'…kinda bigger than the rest."

Tara felt a whole flurry of emotions that 'eternal' was how Willow thought to represent their future, but tried to remain practical for the moment.

"That's ambitious. Would it all fit?"

"I think so. If I kinda swept your hair to one side and started at your shoulders," Willow replied, trying not to show her excitement, "Don't feel any pressure to say yes. I know it's…complicated and long-winded and–"

"Really beautiful. And special. And thought out," Tara replied with a shy smile, "H-How many people would see it?"

Willow thought about it a moment.

"Well I just handed up a print-out of the shot I pick and a write-up of it to my professor…I don't know if she shows anyone else, but I doubt it. Sometimes people share their work but it's completely voluntary."

Tara took a few moments to think it over – she'd been shy enough when she'd been in just a swimsuit; baring her whole back definitely gave her pause. But she could see how excited Willow was about her idea, and she knew her girlfriend would do nothing to make her uncomfortable. She trusted her.

"I'd like to do it for you."

Willow almost leapt out of her skin.

"Really?"

Tara toyed with her sleeve bashfully.

"M-Maybe have a second idea for a back-up…"

Willow nodded, happy to do whatever Tara asked.

"Sure, baby," she said, then caught Tara's hands, "Thank you. This…this really means a lot. I might totally mess it up and I don't really have the steadiest hand, but…thank you."

Tara just smiled, intrigued how it would all turn out.

"When do you want to do it?"

"Um, well, I don't have to hand it in until Monday, but we're going to the beach this weekend," Willow replied, "So maybe tomorrow afternoon? I'll go buy some body paint in the morning."

Tara nodded in agreement.

"Okay. I'm in."

Willow clapped her hands once, beaming from ear to ear.

"This is going to be great."

* * *

"I hope you don't mind I changed the sheets…thought the red would contrast nicely."

Tara glanced over from where she was fixing her hair in the mirror and offered a small smile.

"I would've switched them out to do laundry soon anyway."

Willow left her camera down on the bed and walked over to Tara, embracing her robe-clad waist from behind.

"You look nervous."

Tara met Willow's eye in the mirror.

"A little."

"We don't have to do this," Willow said to her, nothing but genuine, "It was just an idea."

Tara took a slow breath, then shook her head.

"No, I…I want to. I do."

"Nothing that doesn't get your approval will be shown to anyone," Willow replied, leaving a small kiss on Tara's shoulder, "Promise."

Tara nodded once.

"Okay," she said through an exhale, then shrugged the robe off to leave her naked, "Where do you want me?"

Willow was momentarily distracted by Tara's nudity. She could have worn anything she wanted on her lower half as it would be covered by the sheet, but Willow saw no reason to stop her.

_If she wants to be naked, then I'm her number one supporter!_

"Um, on your stomach. Head towards the door."

Tara lay down on the bed as Willow directed and felt the sheets being arranged around her. Willow had a pot of black body paint with a paintbrush ready on the nightstand, and a borrowed stool from the kitchen for her to sit on.

"Okay, how does that feel?" Willow asked, the sheet covering all of Tara's lower half and an inch of the small of her back for modesty, "I can fix if it falls off, but just so I have an idea of where to paint."

Tara looked over and blushed for a moment thinking of being photographed like that, but was happy that Willow had covered her enough.

"I'll keep as still as I can."

"Thanks," Willow replied, leaning down to peck Tara's cheek quickly, then got comfortable on the stool, "Ready?"

Tara nodded and relaxed as much as she could, while Willow organised her print-outs of the poems. She'd worked out the scale she'd need to use to fit it all on Tara's back and had spent a couple of hours that morning painting them just onto paper for practice.

She picked up the paintbrush and dipped it in the paint, then started the first stroke.

Tara giggled but managed to stay still.

"It tickles."

"Sorry," Willow replied, smiling, "Could you take your hair over your shoulder?"

Tara obliged and settled her head back down on the pillow Willow had provided.

"I hope it fits right."

"It will," Willow replied airily, her voice distinctly lacking the usual anxiety she had when it came to schoolwork.

"You're not worried?" Tara asked, an eyebrow quirking slightly.

"I never worry here," Willow replied happily, very much enjoying watching the paintbrush move across Tara's skin, "I'm safe here. With you."

Tara smiled to herself and closed her eyes to see if she could decipher the letters been drawn on her by touch only. They were silent until Willow was moving towards the middle of Tara's back, approaching a known spot.

"Brace yourself, I'm coming up to that extra-ticklish spot," she warned, then saw Tara smile wider as she dipped her brush again, "What?"

"Just like that you know that," Tara replied, wiggling her hips for a moment.

"I'm a Tarapedia," Willow replied with a grin, "I'm Tarapedia Willanica."

Tara turned her head into the pillow to stop a snort of laugher.

"You don't know _everything_ about me," she teased, though would be quite happy if Willow did.

"Have you told me your real name?" Willow asked.

Tara smiled a crooked smile.

"Oh you know that."

Willow detected a very real sultry note in her girlfriend's tone and blushed at the implication. She took a minute to make sure she was still on point, but was really just trying to stop her hand from shaking – it was hard enough keeping in control when she was drawing across her girlfriend's naked back; she wasn't sure she could continue if Tara kept talking like that.

"You know, I've had a lot of fun doing this photography class," she said, purposely changing the subject, "I wasn't called a nerd once."

"They will find out, you know," Tara replied, still teasing but in a different tone now, "About you."

"Oh really?" Willow challenged, though couldn't hide her grin.

"It's inevitable," Tara replied with faux-solemnity.

Willow stretched her back for a moment to prevent a cramp, then grinned some more.

"You mean this hot mama-yama can't hide her humble, geek-infested roots?

Tara cast her eyes back to Willow's with an answering grin.

"Infested roots? Are you trying to turn me on?"

"I have to try now?" Willow asked, her eyes lighting up playfully.

Tara smiled as Willow resumed the painting on her back. The sensation was becoming oddly relaxing and there was definitely a sensual element to the whole thing that she appreciating.

"Are you going to do the photography class during the regular semester?"

Willow frowned; she hadn't thought about that. It was certainly an enjoyable class and an easy credit, but she'd worked out her schedule to maximise Tara-time and she wasn't keen on changing that.

"I don't have time to think about that," she replied, brushing it off to focus on the much more enjoyable task at hand, "I have all this homework to finish."

"I think you're enjoying your 'homework' immensely," Tara replied, though could hardly deny she was too.

"And shamelessly," Willow replied promptly, "Oh, speaking of geek-infested roots, there's a convention I want to go to two weeks from Friday…saw a flyer at the library earlier. I missed Comic-Con this year."

Tara only understood half that statement, but one thing did stick out for her.

"The first Friday of classes? That's our first day of drama. Will you be finished before class?"

Willow paused a moment; she'd forgotten they'd signed up for that class.

"I can be late," she answered finally, thinking she could get her fill of the convention in the morning and hurry back.

"But you've never done drama before," Tara pointed out softly, "Might miss something important."

Willow considered it and decided Tara was right, but was happy to fall back into comfortable silence. She was impressed with her own painting skills and how she'd been able to print the letters pretty clearly, though she gave Tara most of the credit for giving her such a wonderful canvas to work with.

"I don't ever want to leave here," she said with a content sigh as the brush gently glided across the small of Tara's back.

"Why not?" Tara asked.

Willow finished the last stroke on Tara's back and sat back to admire her.

"Because this is a perfect moment."

Tara smiled softly and twisted her neck to try and get a look at her back.

"How does it look?"

"It looks really good," Willow replied, almost shocked it had turned out so well, "It really does. I mean, wow."

She looked on for another moment, then left her paintbrush in the container of water to clean and picked up her camera. She looked through the lens and moved around to try and find a good angle, but the room was a little too dark.

She walked over to the curtain and pulled it back a tad, but was instantly blinded by the bright afternoon sun hitting her right in the eye.

"It's so bright," she said, bringing her arm up to shield the sun when something glinting in the distance caught her eyes, "And there's something out there."

She tried to peer out, then rolled her eyes and slapped her forehead when she realised what she was seeing.

"It's just my watch reflection, I'm a dummy," she said, turning back and lifting her camera up again, smiling at Tara's illuminated back, "God, you're so beautiful."

Tara blushed but was smiling into the pillow as she heard the camera shutter behind her.

"Hey, smile, gorgeous," Willow said a moment later, catching a shot just as Tara looked up.

Tara blushed some more as Willow snapped some shots from some different angles and in different lights.

"I thought you just needed one?"

Willow paused a moment; truth be told she'd forgotten this was an assignment, she was just enjoying herself.

"I need lots to choose from," she reasoned, getting a close-up of Tara's back, "Could you kind of stretch your back up a little?"

Tara lifted herself up onto her elbows, resulting in the sheet slipping down from her hips. Willow had her camera ready to go, but remained still as she watched Tara's back muscles ripple all the way down to her buttocks.

"Wow."

Tara glanced at Willow, catching sight of where she'd become uncovered. She snatched the sheet up again.

"Willow, you promised!"

"I didn't, I didn't!" Willow tried to defend, "No click-y. Just look-y."

Tara glanced at the camera, then up at Willow.

"Okay."

Willow smiled and left the camera down on the desk.

"Think I'm finished anyway. I got some really great shots," she said as she pulled her laptop out to look at them on the bigger screen.

"Should I go shower off?" Tara asked, tying her hair up so it wouldn't brush against the paint.

"Uh huh," Willow replied distractedly, happily looking through the pictures.

Tara picked up her robe from the floor and went into the bathroom to shower. She hummed softly to herself as she watched the black water pool around her feet and go down the drain, then stepped out and back into her robe.

"How did they turn out?" she asked as she came back into the room, walking over to look over Willow's shoulder.

Willow was staring quite intently at the screen and was completely silent.

"Tara…I don't want to use these," she said eventually.

Tara stepped back, embarrassed, and tightened her robe around herself.

"Oh. Sure, okay."

Willow picked up on the tone and spun around in the chair.

"It's not because they're bad…they're so good. And…intimate. I want them to be just mine. Does that make sense at all?"

Tara blushed and smiled.

"Oh," she repeated, then nodded, "Yes, it does."

Willow stood and took both of Tara's hands in hers.

"This was really special. Thank you. Really – thank you. I love you."

Tara looked down bashfully.

"What will you do for your assignment?"

"I'll figure something out," Willow replied, too happy to have been able to have this experience to care too much, "I owe you something big for letting me do that."

Tara shook her head.

"No, you don't."

Willow brought her hands up Tara's arm and let them close softly behind her neck.

"Well at the very least, you are getting a super special massage…with oils."

Tara's let out a soft breath.

"Oils?"

"I may have picked some up when I was getting the body paint," Willow replied, letting one hand down to pull the tie of Tara's robe free and turning her head in so her lips were against Tara's ear and she could whisper, "Go lie down."

Tara's body flushed with heat and she disrobed again, moving to lie on her stomach and covered herself up modestly with the sheet. Willow came back from rooting in a bag in the closet with three vials of coloured, transparent liquid.

"Vanilla, orange or lavender?"

"Vanilla," Tara answered, already tingling in anticipation, "I-I've never been massaged before. I know we've played around, but not with oils and stuff."

"Well I've never massaged before, so it might be a disaster," Willow replied, though with a smile as she climbed onto the bed and straddles Tara's behind.

She rubbed her hands together to warm them up, then poured a few drops of the oil onto her palms. When they were covered and glistening, she placed them on the small of Tara's back and gently pushed all the way up.

"Does that feel good?"

"Mmhhmm," Tara replied, letting her eyes close softly.

Willow watched as her fingers gently glided along Tara's skin. She found her girlfriend's back so wonderfully sexy and was getting just as much enjoyment out of massaging her as Tara was.

"You're like my Greek Goddess, you know that? My Aphrodite. And I have my own personal collection to remember it forever."

Tara sighed softly as Willow's hands moved so effortlessly across her back.

"You're really good at this. Magic hands."

Willow smiled smugly and tried a little knuckle-kneading, which was well received with a soft moan. She continued for several minutes, loving how soft Tara's skin felt beneath her, then leaned right over to whisper in Tara's ear from behind.

"Where do you want me to touch? I'm your love slave."

She pressed her lips into Tara's neck and heard her breath quicken from her close proximity.

Tara turned her ear into the pillow so Willow had better access to her neck and made a blind reach behind her to try and touch her girlfriend too.

Willow sensed what was wanted and sat back, intending for a quick disrobe, but was stopped as Tara turned under her so she was on her back and looking up.

"Slowly."

Willow was momentarily transfixed by Tara's breasts bouncing coming into view, but finally registered what was said and smiled bashfully.

She started to undress, slowly, as requested, beginning with unbuttoning her sweater; watching Tara watching her. She shrugged it off when it was loose, then dragged the cami she had on underneath off her body.

She popped the button on her pants and started to push the fabric down her thighs, her hands caressing herself on the way down until they were to her knees and she could pull them off completely, leaving her in bra and panties.

"Is that what you wanted?" she asked, almost shivering at the lusty look in Tara's eye, "Tell me."

Tara blushed but didn't drop her gaze as she pushed Willow's bra straps off her shoulders.

"I want your body against me…and to touch you…get lost in you…hold you so close it feels like we're one person."

Willow's chest began to heave as Tara lightly traced the tops of her breasts. She reached behind herself and managed to undo her bra, sighing softly with pleasure as Tara cupped her breasts and gently rolled her nipples.

She covered Tara's hands with her own and pressed them more insistently against herself for a moment before moving to lie on top of her girlfriend.

"Mmhh," Tara moaned, welcoming the warm weight of Willow on top of her.

She crossed her arms around Willow's back and let her palms slowly slide down her skin.

Willow helped wiggle her panties off when Tara gave them a yank, then put her hands on her girlfriend's cheeks to turn her face over for a kiss. She reached down to throw the sheet between them away, then let her thigh settle between Tara's legs, who moaned into her mouth and pushed her hips up into the touch.

They kissed and touched hungrily, rolling around the bed until they were wrapped as much in the sheets as they were each other.

"Mmm, Tara," Willow moaned, nipping at the delicate skin of her girlfriend's neck, "You're so sexy."

She dropped her hand and splayed her fingers out over Tara's thigh, creeping inwards until she was caressing her mound. Her mouth moved down to Tara's chest, tonguing her nipples and breasts before continuing down her stomach and up again.

Tara arched her back into Willow's touch and pulled her up for a needy kiss, then flipped her onto her back.

"Hello," Willow whispered as Tara made a beeline south.

She spread her legs accommodatingly as Tara's lips reached her thighs, which were just starting to tremble. She closed her eyes to enjoy the flutterings in her belly, then let out a long moan as Tara settled between her legs and began to explore her folds.

Her hips gently rocked in rhythm, letting the slow burn of pleasure build-up. Her back arched when Tara began to pay attention to her clit; teasing and torturing her with random strokes.

Willow was starting to flush a soft pink with need, but Tara was already sensing the same thing and had brought her hand up to let two fingers thrust inside.

"Oh god," Willow groaned, hips pumping more insistently, "Oh Tara, yes."

She squeezed Tara's fingers inside her, which apparently fuelled her girlfriend's own desire as Willow suddenly found herself being ravaged with an uncontrollable urgency.

The bed squeaked, adding into the symphony of loud noises Willow was making as she tumbled towards ecstasy.

"Baby…harder…more…everything."

Her hands clutched the sheets as Tara gave her more of everything, just enough to push her over the edge.

"Uh…uh…ahhhh, Taraaaa…"

She stayed rigid with pleasure for a moment, then finally settled back onto the mattress; breathing heavy and brow sweaty, a smile plastered onto her face.

She sighed happily as Tara eased her down with her tongue, then kissed back up to her neck.

"_I_ was supposed to be thanking _you_," Willow said, turning her head in to press a sloppy kiss against Tara's cheek.

Tara lay stomach-down beside Willow, grinning contentedly herself.

"I got my Willow-treat."

"Then I want my Tara-cuddles," Willow replied and was promptly given a warm body to cuddle into and nuzzled into her girlfriend's hair, "I love you, Tara."

Tara threw her leg over Willow's waist.

"I love you too, Willow."

They were silent for a moment, then Willow spoke, gently running her hand down Tara's arm.

"You're a beautiful canvas."

Tara smiled softly.

"I enjoyed it…I wasn't even self-conscious…I am kind of pleased you decided to keep them for yourself though."

Willow glanced over at the pictures still doing a slideshow on her laptop screen and smiled.

"Me too."

They shared a loving gaze then for a few moments, before leaning in to kiss.

It was slow, sweet and sensual; lips caressing and hearts revelling in the love and warmth that they could only get from each other.


	33. Chapter 33

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you liked it! I tried to include what I could from that scene, was pretty happy with what I could fit in :D

**Graq the Wild Child 2** – Thank you, I'm glad it worked! And I very much agree with Tara being too non-confrontational, unfortunately it's all she knows.

**Willowtarafan4life** – Hi :) Willow and Tara make it easy to show their love! I have done some photography in the past but nothing I kept up/was ever good at. And Tara does get interest, she had Deon the waiter and AJ the jackass (that was less flattering, but stacked against pizza-asshole for Willow) and she's got a storyline coming up that features a major crush on her!

**StephenPG** – Wow! Thank you! :) :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – That's what I meant – there's few as in, little reason to!

Things can definitely get released from evidence, but if a cop decided he didn't like you, I think he could tie it up too.

Ooh, you went hardcore! I think I *have* sat through a Nic Cage film but I don't remember enjoying it.

You and me are on the same page ;)

I tried to fit every line from that scene in, and got about 90% (plus the geek infested roots bit) so I'm pretty happy with the end result.

This chapter accepts your flowers and blows you a kiss.

* * *

**Hey guys, there won't be an update next week 'cause I'll be out of town, but check back the week after! (March 13****th****)**

* * *

"Are you excited? I'm excited."

Tara nodded from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching Willow look through a beach bag.

"Uh huh."

Willow looked up, frowning slightly.

"You don't seem excited."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"I don't know what to expect."

"Oh, well it's not like a super special beach or anything," Willow replied, though wanted to convey her eagerness, "But still, I mean, the beach is fun."

"I mean I don't know what to expect because I've never been to the beach before," Tara clarified, not wanting Willow to think she wasn't looking forward to their plans.

Willow spun around, wide-eyed.

"Wait…you mean…ever? No beaches?" she asked, completely stunned, "Oh wow. This trip just got even more exciting!"

"What's the big deal?" Tara asked.

"I'm popping your cherry! Your beach cherry! Already did the other o–" Willow started, but quickly cleared her throat, "Just exciting…'cause I love experiencing new things with you."

Tara smiled at that and Willow let out a soft breath of relief that she'd recovered so smoothly.

"So, I thought we could get some deli sandwiches on the way to the T so we can have lunch on the beach…lucky, it's a nice day…we can get some sunbathing in. Oh, sunblock!"

She went to retrieve a bottle of sunblock from the bathroom, while Tara watched her go, appreciating her outfit choice.

Willow was wearing a pair of jean-shorts that cut off mid-thigh and a light blue tank top; the red design of a soda bottle and 'Wild Cherry Soda Pop' written around it matching the red bikini she was wearing beneath. Tara noticed the strap falling as Willow came back.

"Your bikini strap is down," she said, slowly looking Willow up and down, "You look... really hot."

"No, I'm cool, that's why I wore the shorts and no sleeves," Willow replied, then blushed when she realised what Tara meant, "Oh. I do?"

Tara's gaze was lingering on Willow's thighs.

"You should show off your legs more," she commented, her head tilting in admiration, "You have got _great_ legs."

Willow's cheeks turned redder; she knew Tara liked her body but she wasn't used to such a vocal appreciation.

"I've never really thought about them before…just, you know, handy for walking," she replied, then gestured at Tara, "They're not nice and flexible like yours!"

Willow turned to try and look behind herself at her legs, while the glint in Tara's eyes was turning almost predatory.

"They're toned…and smooth…and your butt sits so nicely…"

Willow met Tara's eyes and felt that glint shoot straight between her legs.

"You know...we could skip the beach and screw all day."

Tara only had to think about it for a second.

"Okay."

* * *

Almost exactly twenty-four hours later, they stood in the same positions, in the same clothing, with Willow once again checking the contents of her beach bag.

"Okay, we're _really_ going today," she insisted, folding a second towel in.

"You're tempting fate by wearing those shorts again," Tara replied with a crooked smile, "You were an animal last night…and evening…and afternoon…and this morning."

"Tearing a swimsuit off you was not the easiest feat of my life," Willow replied, though was grinning and there was a bounce in her step, "I think we broke our own record yesterday…but I lost count sometime between being bent over the nightstand and taking you against the door."

Tara blushed wildly, which Willow noticed and grinned more.

"Beach, take two?"

Tara looked down at her plain olive-green t-shirt and blue three-quarter-length cargo pants.

"Is this okay for the beach? I don't have any shorts, apart from sleep ones."

"Last time I checked beautiful was completely beach-appropriate," Willow replied, offering her hand.

Tara blushed some more and took Willow's hand. Willow threw the beach bag over her shoulder and led them out of the building and in the direction of the T station.

"You know, I think it's even nicer today than it was yesterday."

"Are you trying to find an excuse for us staying in bed all day yesterday?" Tara asked with a wry grin.

"I don't need an excuse," Willow retorted, bumping Tara's hip, "Besides we weren't always 'in bed'."

Tara kept her gaze down but Willow was still able to spot the smile, and offered one of her own right back. They stopped at a sandwich shop on the way and got some things for lunch as well as some bottles of water to last them the day before making their way to the train.

"We look like tourists," Willow commented, leaning over the beach bag on her lap as they sat on the train.

"Is that a bad thing?" Tara asked, trying to keep her feet as firmly planted on the floor as possible to prevent falling forwards.

"Well…" Willow started, then just hugged the bag closer, "I guess not."

Tara pulled the corner of the bag out.

"You'll squish the sandwiches."

"Sorry, Mom," Willow replied playfully, "Glad we got seats. I'm really excited. I haven't been to the beach in forever. I remember once when I was really, really little, my Dad took me to beach, don't remember my mom being there…anyway he barbequed and I remember his big burnt shoulders…"

Willow recounted the memory of what was her first trip to the beach, which only served to make her even more excited to show Tara.

"Look, Tara, look!" she exclaimed, an hour's bumpy ride and few minutes of walking later as the beach loomed ahead of them.

"It's very pretty," Tara agreed, "There's a lot of people."

"Yeah, I'm seeing like, 50 'my dads'," Willow replied, commenting on the abundance of beer-bellied shirtless men' with distinct tan/burn lines, "Come feel the sand!"

Willow took her flip-flops off and went running towards the entrance to the beach, but instantly yelped as the hot sand burnt her soles.

"Yow, ow, ow!"

She left her shoes back on quick-smart and looked sheepish as Tara caught up with her.

"Maybe try it in the shade."

Tara looked around and decided she definitely liked the atmosphere of the beach – children playing, families laughing, the sweet and salty smell of the confectionary sands and the bright blue of the water and sky.

"That smell…the ocean."

"This is kinda what Sunnydale smelled like all the time," Willow reminisced, "Though less cotton candy and more coffee beans. Hey look, a free spot, let's grab it, quick!"

She raced ahead and claimed a patch of sand, quickly laying the towels out for them. She sat on one and patted the other. Tara sat cross-legged on her towel.

"What do we do now?"

"Whatever we want!" Willow replied, smiling, "Wanna catch some rays?"

Tara nodded and Willow ruffled through the bag to find the sunblock, then stripped down to her itsy-bitty, teeny-weeny bikini.

"No yellow polka dots?" Tara asked, eyeing the minute amount of fabric covering Willow, surprised her girlfriend would wear something so revealing.

"Huh?" Willow asked, folding her clothes into the bag to prevent them getting sandy.

"Nothing," Tara replied, blushing, "W-want me to do your shoulders?"

"Yes please!" Willow replied, turning to accommodate, "Hey, be careful if you're putting your water back in the bag, I brought my camera."

Tara squirted some sunblock into her hands and began to luxuriate in the feeling of rubbing it into Willow's skin.

"Okay, I will."

Willow noticed Tara was being quite methodical with the application of the sunblock but didn't complain for a second. When she was completely covered, she turned and picked up the bottle.

"Want me to do you?"

Tara offered her forearms and Willow was disappointed she wasn't going to get any showing of skin, but didn't hesitate to slather Tara up as delicately as she had been.

"There you go," she smiled as she finished, "Do you want to read your book or talk or…?"

"We can talk," Tara replied, stretching out on her stomach while Willow sat cross-legged on her towel.

Willow started to feel self-conscious about just sitting around in her bikini when she noticed some predatory leers from around her.

"I should put my clothes back on."

"I don't mind the view," Tara replied, a crooked smile on her face.

Willow blushed, but made a reach for her clothes.

"Well you can see it whenever you want," she said, slipping the tank and shorts back on, "But your eyes are a lot prettier than the pot-bellied Irishmen around us."

More comfortable, they spent the next while alternating between taking in the sunshine and chatting until a small plastic green ball bounced off Tara's head and between them.

"I'm very sorry," the mother of the family set up next to them said as a toddler bumbled over to get her toy.

"That's okay," Tara replied, handing the ball back to the little girl with a smile, "That's my favourite colour too."

"Tank yoo," the toddler said back and threw the ball in the air again back towards her father.

"She's adorable," Willow commented to Tara, smiling.

"Do you want kids?" Tara asked lightly, resting her head on her arms with her eyes closed.

Willow visibly did a double-take, blindsided by the question.

"Oh," she replied, searching for words, "I, uh…I don't think I've ever thought about it."

"I want at least two," Tara replied, not much weight behind her statement but still genuine, "A boy and a girl, maybe more."

Willow tried to steady her mind after it was thrown off, and let herself really think about the possibility of children…or at least the possibility of children with Tara.

_I could get behind a Tiny Tara or two._

"Yeah…yeah, that'd be nice," she eventually replied, actually smiling at the thought, "You'd be such a good mom."

"_You'd_ be such a great mom," Tara answered, her lips quirking up.

Willow shook her head, despite Tara not being able to see.

"I-I don't know…I mean, me? I didn't have much in the way of good role models."

"You're kind…and generous…with possessions, and with love. You have a warm heart and a warmer embrace. You're a big kid, really," Tara rattled off affectionately, her eyes never opening, "You'd be a great mom. You'd be the best mom."

Willow felt her breath catch in her throat for a moment – that someone loved her so much; that someone cared for her so much; that someone believed in her so much.

She looked at Tara for a second and thought of how much she'd grown herself since their meeting; how her whole life had changed by being in love and being loved in return. For a moment, she could almost see some babies, their babies, playing in the sand by them. They were gone as soon as they came, a trick of the eyes, but they were as real to Willow in that moment as they would be later.

It may have been many years off, but Willow knew right then she wanted a family with Tara – and that they were already forming their own. She still wasn't overly confident with her own mothering skills, but if she had Tara…well, then she could do anything.

"Thanks," she replied, trying to keep the choke out of her voice and pretend that she hadn't just had some profound epiphany, "Mind if I read my magazine? There's a cool article on the chimpanzee genome I want to read."

Tara smiled sideways again.

"You want to monkey around instead of talking to me?"

Willow giggled as she lay back and fished out her magazine.

"You're the funniest."

Tara smiled and people-watched the boardwalk as Willow read her magazine. After a while, Willow had devoured every article she was interested in and went to lie alongside Tara on her stomach.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Watching the people," Tara answered, her chin resting on her hands.

"Do you ever make up stories for them?" Willow asked, "Like see that couple over there? I bet they're on their first date."

Tara looked to where Willow was pointing and smiled as she saw a man trying to win a teddy bear for a woman next to him at a game stand.

"They're definitely into each other."

Willow shuffled closer so their hips were touching.

"Not like those two," she said, gesturing to a bickering couple in the nearby parking lot. "I bet he forgot to lock up the house and she's mad because now they have to drive back."

They exchanged their ideas for various people they spotted around the place, until Willow felt the sun high above their heads and wanted to go for a swim before they lost the heat.

"Hey wanna go for a dip?"

Tara looked over her shoulder at the water and decided she had to at least had to try it.

"Okay."

Willow's face lit up and she instantly began to undress again.

"Would you mind keeping an eye on our stuff?" she asked the family next to them, then waited as Tara shyly stripped down to her swimsuit.

"Don't worry, no one's looking," Willow reassured, a little white lie as she had noticed a group of guys playing Frisbee nearby stop and stare.

She offered her hand when Tara had folded her clothes away, then led her down to the water's edge.

"Is this your first time in the ocean?"

Tara looked over and smiled the special smile, only reserved for Willow.

"Be gentle."

Willow grinned and dipped her toe in the water, then kicked out so Tara was splashed.

"Hey!"

Willow ran right into the water so Tara would have to catch her and continued to splash, using her hands when it came up to their level. She noticed Tara stop when they were at waist-height and stopped too, thinking it was a good idea for her new-to-swimming and even newer-to-the-beach girlfriend to stay close to the shore.

She waddled over to offer Tara a secure hand to hold if she needed it, but was just met with a face and mouthful of water when she was on the receiving end of a colossal splash.

She grinned again as she spluttered and wiped her eyes, woman enough to admit defeat.

"You got me, you got me," she said, wiping her mouth, "Yuck, sea water is gross."

"Sorry," Tara replied, her foray into splashing having been slightly over-zealous, "Do you want me to go get the regular water?"

Willow shook her head, recovered from the 'attack'. She noticed Tara swaying in the water and reached out to hold her hip.

"Hey, watch the current. Don't float too far away from me," she said, moving them over slightly so they weren't in the way of a group of kids playing with a beach ball, "So, what's the verdict? Do you like the ocean?"

Tara let her hands tread the water and teetered back and forth before finally smiling.

"It's nicer than the rivers I've had experience with."

"Yeah, no kidding," Willow laughed, "The gentle wading in is much preferable to that jumping thing too."

"And all cell phones are safe," Tara smiled in response, "Wanna swim?"

Willow agreed with a nod and they started to splash around.

"You're like a fish!" Willow exclaimed proudly as they moved around, "I can't believe we've only had a few lessons. You look like you've been swimming your whole life."

"I had a good teacher," Tara replied, treading the water.

They played around for another little while until Willow's stomach demanded sustenance and they returned to the towels to eat their sandwiches. That wasn't enough to fill Willow however, and she was looking at the concession stands longingly just minutes later.

"I'm hungry."

"You just had your sandwich," Tara replied, lying on her stomach so she could feel the sun on her legs and back.

"But it's the beach. Normal food limits don't apply," Willow reasoned, then jumped up, "I'm getting a hot dog, want one?"

Tara shook her head, but Willow persisted.

"Cotton candy? Pretzel? Fries? Ice-cream? Fried pickles?"

"That's a thing?" Tara asked, scrunching up her nose, then smiled, "I wouldn't say no to an ice-cream cone."

She reached for her wallet in the beach bag but Willow was already heading off.

"I got it," she said with a smile and went to the boardwalk to procure their foodstuffs.

She returned, walking slowly with a hot dog topped with mustard and relish in one hand and a chocolate ice-cream cone in the other.

"Here you go. Chocolate swirl for my lovely girl!" she said as she kneeled back on her towel and handed the ice-cream off, "Been coming up with that one the whole way back!"

"Lucky I'm not with you for your rhyming genius," Tara replied with a grin.

"Hey, you," Willow retorted, "Be careful or I will be forced to punish you! These hands are not afraid to tickle!"

She brushed her fingertips under Tara's shoulders, who squirmed playfully.

"You win, you win."

"Mwuhahah," Willow cackled, "And now for my hot dog of victory."

She munched happily on her snack, then decided to join Tara with an ice-cream.

"Ice-cream at the beach has to be at least in the top five of greatest things ever," she commented as she took her first lick, "I'm sure the ocean air makes it tastier."

"Maybe," Tara agreed, finishing hers off, "It's definitely delicious."

"Uh huh!" Willow concurred, happily catching the dribbles on the cone before they hit her fingers.

"Would you put some sunblock on me when you finish?" Tara asked as she settled down on her stomach again.

Suddenly, the ice-cream held little of the appeal it had before, and Willow chomped through it like a child being forced to eat their vegetables. She wiped her hands on the towel and made a grab for the bottle of sunblock.

"Where? Here? Everywhere?"

"Mmhhmm," Tara replied, already relaxing under the afternoon sun.

Willow stopped herself from straddling Tara's behind in order to apply the lotion, but did spend a long time massaging it all in. She slowly rubbed a generous amount into Tara's legs and thighs, then up to the exposed parts of her back and shoulders.

"That good, baby?" she asked, aware she was probably crossing the lines of 'respectability' in a public place.

She got no response, so peered over Tara's shoulder and saw her girlfriend's eyes had closed. She smiled to herself and moved off, figuring she'd have to entertain herself for a while.

Tara stirred about an hour later when the sun started to hide away and a light breeze picked up in the air. She had to quickly stop herself from getting a mouthful of sand, then started to slowly sit up, gently rubbing her eyes.

She noticed Willow wasn't on her towel, but caught sight of the red hair a moment later, just a few feet away, playing with the two-year-old girl and eight-year-old boy of the family next to them. Building sandcastles.

Willow seemed to notice eyes on her and looked up excitedly.

"Hey, we're building a castle! I'm in charge of the moat!"

Tara glanced at the parents, who appeared to be amused, then back at Willow.

"Don't forget the bridge."

Willow and the boy exchanged a 'how could we forget?' look and quickly went about rectifying the problem.

Tara put her clothes back on and found her book to read again, until the family started to pack up, much to the boy's disdain.

"I don't wanna!"

"Hey, listen to your mother," the father said to him with a thick Boston accent.

The boy seemed to know better than to disobey and grudgingly followed towards the car park.

Willow waved goodbye, then took the abandoned bucket and got some water from the sea to fill her moat. It took a few attempts, but it finally filled, much to Willow's delight, who made a scramble for her camera and started to photograph it.

"Tara, look!"

Tara smiled, duly impressed by the quite striking temple they'd managed to build.

"That's very cool."

Willow lowered her camera sheepishly.

"Do you think I'm a big baby?"

"Not in the slightest," Tara replied with a smile, "I'm glad you had fun."

Willow beamed, then her face lit up.

"Close your eyes."

Tara complied and heard some rustling off to the side.

"Okay, open 'em," Willow said a few moments later.

Tara opened her eyes and smiled all over again when she saw Willow had written a message to her in the sand: 'How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways'.

As she read it, Willow used her finger to draw the infinity symbol underneath the words.

"Willow," Tara said softly, touched.

"It's true," Willow replied, pecking Tara's cheek, before her eyes suddenly went wide as she realised it solved a problem, "My assignment!"

She snapped her camera up from around her neck and got an angle on the sand, glowing orange from the reflection where the sun was just beginning to set. She stepped back and got just a hint of the tide lapping at the shore, then showed the photo to Tara, both excited and unsure.

"Is that lame?"

"I think it's beautiful," Tara replied in all honesty, "Can I get a print-out?"

Willow beamed from ear-to-ear.

"You bet you can. But I plan on reminding you every day," she replied, putting her camera away before she dropped it in the sand, "Guess we should head back…unless you wanted to stroll the boardwalk…maybe grab a bite?"

She trailed off hopefully, then felt Tara's hand in hers.

"I'd love to."

Willow bounced up on the balls of her feet excitedly and threw the bag over her shoulder, then walked with Tara up to the boardwalk. They strolled along, chatting until they reached the end, where a beat-up fortune teller machine was sitting.

"These things are funny," Willow said as she went over to it and put a quarter in.

It lit up and started to vibrate, while the 'crystal ball' moved up into the mechanical fortune teller's hand. It brightened even more, then a slip of card with printed text on it slipped out.

Willow picked it up and read.

_Flattery will get you everywhere tonight_

"What's it say?" Tara asked, curious.

Willow glanced between Tara and the fortune, then smiled.

"That you look really pretty."

Tara blushed and smiled, while Willow tossed the fortune before she was found out. She re-took Tara's hand and they started the stroll back.

"So all the seafood restaurants are out," Willow mused as they passed various establishments, "Kinda low on options."

"Sorry," Tara replied, "You can still have some, we just have to be careful."

"Uh uh, kissing is a very essential beginning, middle and end to my day," Willow replied, stopping to look at another displaying menu outside a restaurant, "They do pastas and salads and steaks here too. Does any of that appeal?"

Tara nodded and they found a table outside to sit at; a parasol looming above them and a nearby heater keeping them warm. The sky was turning a deep orange as the very beginning of twilight set in.

"I had the best day," Willow said to Tara as they looked through the menu after giving their drinks order to the waiter.

"Me too," Tara smiled over her menu, "I definitely like the beach."

Their drinks came soon after and they ordered their food; a steak for Willow and a Caesar salad for Tara.

"Mmhh, this is the life," Willow said as she sat back in her chair and sipped her iced tea through a straw, "Sun, sea…"

_Sex later?_

"Sitting with my beautiful girlfriend," she finished instead, offering a charming smile.

Tara quirked an eyebrow and hid a grin; she knew exactly when Willow was buttering her up to get into her pants - and didn't mind one bit. But it did deserve teasing.

"It's funny, we didn't do much, but I'm totally tired out from being here all day."

Willow's face fell, but she recovered quickly and even offered a smile.

"We can snuggle up close later."

"You're very sweet," Tara replied, knowing that offer was genuine.

Willow just smiled and sighed happily as she took in Tara's appearance.

"Sometimes I look at you and I really think you're an angel," she said, tracing Tara's features in the air, "Sun and shade and…you're just so beautiful."

Tara blushed.

"I'm surprised you're not whipping your camera out," she said, easing her embarrassment with a joke.

Willow let her hand fall back and smiled some more.

"Don't need it. I get to look at you forever."


	34. Chapter 34

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you enjoyed it! Willow is just a big kid really.

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Sometimes it's scary how much power they have!

Haha, well Willow and Tara and fairytale love are synonymous.

Well if you were W or T and could screw the other all day…I know what I'd do!

Poor Tara, I promise no more balls near her face for a while.

I got Chinese food last week and just learned of this custom…I will remember for next time!

Willow is the master of cute!

* * *

Willow stepped over a maze of luggage and boxes to get through the front door of their building and down the hallway without spilling the smoothies she had in her hands for her and Tara.

There was a close call with a loose power cord, but she finally arrived back unscathed, and kicked the door closed behind her.

"I hate people moving back in. The summer people were a lot quieter!"

Tara took the smoothie offered to her.

"But Becky's flight gets in, in a while. You must've missed her."

"Yeah," Willow agreed, then smiled, "She kept me pretty up-to-date with her goings-on but it'll be nice to talk to her face-to-face."

"Does she know who her new roommate is yet?" Tara asked, sitting on the bed with her shoes kicked off.

"I don't think so," Willow replied, joining her, "I hope she's nice, Becky'll never let me live it down if she's not. Do you like your smoothie? I got you mango and passion fruit."

"It's delicious," Tara replied, already more than half-way through it, "And nice and cold. It's hot out today."

"Uh huh," Willow agreed, slowly sucking the liquid threw the straw as she noticed the thighs on display as Tara had changed into the shorts she often wore to bed.

She didn't notice she was slurping just plastic, until the loud sound disturbed her gazing. She tossed the cup across the room into the trash can and gave herself an internal high-five when it landed, then turned back to Tara.

Unable to resist, she leaned over to press a kiss against Tara's thigh, then grinned up at the surprised eyes cast down on her. She kissed Tara's skin again, as high up as the fabric would allow, then moved right up so their faces were close.

"Wanna make it hotter?"

Tara didn't need much convincing and left the last few sips of her smoothie to sit on the nightstand. She moved her hands to gently hold Willow's face and pressed their lips together, then scooted down so she was lying with a warm body on top of her.

"Mmm," Willow moaned, grabbing Tara's hip and splaying her fingers out over her girlfriend's thigh.

She slowly slid her hand up and under Tara's shirt to caress her stomach, then bunched it up until it was flying over their heads. She dropped her head to kiss Tara's exposed skin.

Tara took in a long breath as Willow kissed around her bra-encased breasts, then pulled her back up, lip to lip.

Willow responded enthusiastically to the kiss as she dropped her hand to the button on Tara's shorts. She popped it open and slipped her hand under Tara's panties, quickly wetting her fingers with the light arousal built up, then found the little bud.

She felt Tara's breath quicken through the kiss and stated to move her fingers up and down, but only got a few strokes in before a loud knocking was heard against the door.

Tara's gaze floated in that direction but Willow didn't let up for a second, so she was quick to forget. The person outside, however, wasn't.

"Oh for god sake," Willow hissed, "Why are we always getting interrupted?!"

She started to sit up with a sigh.

"Probably some lost freshman. I'll get rid of them."

She pressed her lips against Tara's quickly, then went over and opened the door just enough to peek out.

"Becky?" she asked in surprise upon seeing her former roommate on the other side.

Becky all but flung herself at Willow, pushing the door open and causing Tara to squeal and make a hasty reach for the sheet.

"Whoops, sorry!" Becky shouted out upon seeing her, seeming anything but as she laughed, "Do you guys just constantly bone?"

She continued to laugh but looked curious.

"Is it still boning if there's no–"

Willow cut her off with a push against her shoulder and shot Tara a look of apology then looked back to Becky.

"What are you doing here?"

Becky bounced over to the bed and sat on the corner, still smiling ear-to-ear.

"Got an early flight!"

It was becoming obvious Becky had no intention of leaving, so Willow cast a glance to Tara, who nodded that it was okay. Willow couldn't help but roll her eyes and sigh.

"I have to wash my hands."

Tara turned a bright crimson and there was a few seconds of awkward lull.

"C-could you hand me my shirt, please?"

"Oh sure," Becky replied, spotting the shirt and handing it up, realising then that maybe it wasn't the best time, excitement or not, "I should really leave, huh?"

Tara buttoned her shirt behind the sheet, then took a long swig from the bottle of water to cool herself down.

"It's okay. Willow missed you. I-I did too."

Willow came back out from the bathroom then and Becky threw her arms around them both, on either side of her.

"I missed you two like crazy!" she exclaimed, kissing both of their cheeks, "Thank god I'm not in Kansas anymore, Toto!"

"Where's your stuff?" Willow asked, sitting up near Tara.

"I just tossed it in the room, I'll unpack later," Becky dismissed with a wave as she sat Indian-style on the bed to face them, "Tell me things, give me gossip!"

Tara had to smile; Becky had interrupted a moment, maybe, but her joie de vivre and excitement of seeing them was both endearing and fun to watch.

"I don't think we have much gossip," Willow answered with a small shrug, "I got an A in my photography class."

"Cool!" Becky enthused, "Was it easy? Arts electives are the worst; I'll need a new one next semester."

Willow nodded.

"Well, it wasn't always super easy, but it was really fun. And we got to learn Photoshop and everything, which was good. You'd like it. Tell us about Kansas. "

Becky prepared to launch her story of summer.

"Well, SD3–

"That's step-dad 3," Willow clarified for Tara, who nodded appreciatively.

"Anyway, he finally moved his ass out," Becky continued, "So it was just me and Momma, it was good for the first few weeks, but then she told me she'd been seeing a new guy for a while. She brought him over; he doesn't seem all bad, surprisingly. Kinda hunky in a salt-and-pepper kinda way."

Willow and Tara shared clueless glances, but Becky didn't seem to notice and continued to fill them in on what she'd been up to, which featured a lot of booze and boys.

"And Oh. My. God. The night the marine boys passed through? I had a good night. I had a _great_ night," she finished a while later, then sighed when she saw the other two's faces, "I really need friends that aren't lesbians."

"Sorry," both Willow and Tara echoed each other, though neither was too apologetic.

"So…" Becky asked, "You two have a good summer?"

Willow smiled over at Tara.

"The best."

She leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss against Tara's cheek, who blushed.

"You guys are gross," Becky commented, though was smiling.

"You're just jealous," Willow retorted, putting an arm around Tara.

"Yeah," Becky admitted, then perked up, "If I buy you two some coffees will you help me unpack?"

Willow looked at Tara, who seemed willing to help.

"Throw in one of those big cookies and you've got a deal."

"Alright!" Becky exclaimed enthusiastically, high-fiving Willow's hand, "Come with?"

The other two nodded and Willow grabbed her keys, then they all headed to the coffee shop once Tara had slipped into some proper pants. Once well stocked with caffeine and sugar, they made their way back to Becky's room, where two large suitcases were sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes.

"I think I could fit all my possessions into the bottom half of one of those boxes," Tara whispered to Willow, wide-eyed.

"She's a hoarder," Willow whispered back with a playful smile, "Okay, Becky, where do you want us to start?"

Becky gestured towards the boxes as she lugged a suitcase over to fill the closet. Willow led Tara over and looked through to see where to start but all the boxes were marked 'college crap'.

"What a sophisticated sorting system," Willow muttered, pulling the tape from the nearest one, "Baby, if you unpack, I'll put things where they go."

Tara nodded and started to unpack the contents of the boxes onto the bed. Willow put things where she remembered Becky having them before and left things she wasn't sure of to come back to later.

They were close to finished an hour later, when they were joined by a girl about their age appearing through the door. She had shoulder-length blonde hair, perfectly-applied light make-up, and was wearing a white blouse with a light brown tennis skirt and a sweater with the sleeves folded over her neck. She looked more suited to a country club than a dorm room.

"I thought I was in a two-person room," she said as soon as she saw them, disregarding any pleasantries.

Becky spun around and looked the girl up and down, internally groaning that this appeared to be her new roommate.

"You are," she answered, stepping forward to at least give the illusion of being friendly, "These guys are just helping me out. I'm Becky, the roommate."

She offered her hand and the other girl shook it weakly, slithering away like a snake.

"Chelsea," she said, flipping her hair to one side.

Willow could tell Becky was not getting a good first impression.

"I'm Willow, and this is Tara," she said, gesturing between them, "That used to be my side of the room actually."

Chelsea glanced at the space that would become hers.

"I hope you didn't have any men in this bed with you. I couldn't sleep in a place that wasn't pure."

Becky snorted and had to turn away, pretending to get something caught in her eye.

"No, no men," Willow answered eventually, deciding it best not to point out there were previous occupiers of the room of which she couldn't vouch for 'purity'.

"Good," Chelsea replied, just as a group of moving men began to load in with luggage, "So. Have you all accepted Jesus as your saviour? Put that over there."

She waved her hand at one of the men dismissively and looked back to the three for an answer.

Becky sighed. She'd need to find a boyfriend quick if she had any hope of getting through the year with any sanity.

"Yes, we have," she answered, nudging Willow who was about to point out she was Jewish, "So, uh, no need to…convince us or anything."

Chelsea watched and directed the unpacking of her things like a composer with just hand gestures here and there. The other three watched in disbelief as it all played out, right down to the light bulbs being replaced and the bed receiving a turn-down service with its new sheets.

"Finally," Chelsea said, sitting down on her bed as all the hired help left, then started to squirt some perfume around, "It smells like something died in here."

"So did you transfer here?" Becky asked, purposely shaking her blanket out in her new roommate's direction just for spite.

"My parents moved their charity HQ here from New Jersey," Chelsea answered, kicking invisible pockets of dust away, "I lived in our house back home but I decided I just had to try this dorm living. So quaint."

Becky shot Willow a look as if to say 'look what you've stuck me with'. Willow looked back helplessly.

"Are you guys' roommates too?" Chelsea asked, looking at Willow.

Willow opened and closed her mouth a few times; getting a sense this girl wasn't going to be yay-gay.

"We…"

"Live downstairs," Tara answered for them.

"Yeah," Willow nodded, grateful for the save, "We live downstairs."

"Well, I think we're going to need some ground rules," Chelsea replied, eyes fixed on Becky this time, "Like no visitors after ten. I need my beauty sleep."

"No kidding," Becky sneered, though Chelsea was too engrossed in checking a nail to hear.

Willow could feel the tension in the air and couldn't much bear it herself, never mind subject Tara to it.

"Well, we gotta go…do stuff."

Becky rolled her eyes at Willow but couldn't blame them for wanting to escape.

"Call first if you're coming up," Chelsea said as they left, barely acknowledging them.

"Yeah, right, okay," Willow answered, pushing Tara through and shooting an apologetic look to Becky, "Bye."

She pulled the door firmly shut, then exhaled a soft breath that they were free.

"Should we leave her alone?" Tara asked, looking worried.

"I don't think accidentally revealing she's best friends with a couple of lesbos is going to do her any favours right now," Willow answered, taking Tara's hand, "I'll call her in a half-hour and pretend there's an emergency so she can leave."

"Okay," Tara replied, trusting Willow to know her best friend.

"I'll say one thing, Becky may be a little spoiled…" Willow said, shaking her head, "But at least she's not _that_."

"We only met her for a few minutes," Tara tried to reason, not one to judge, "Maybe she's nervous about living with someone."

Willow made a non-committal noise, her mind pretty much set, but decided Tara was right.

"Yeah, okay. But I still want to steer clear. I don't want to call you my 'roommate'. Or accept Jesus as my saviour. Hello, still Jewish."

"Maybe you could join that Jews for Jesus group," Tara replied, hiding a smile.

"What?!" Willow asked, doing a double-take, "No wa–"

Tara couldn't help a giggle, clueing Willow into the joke.

"Verrrryyy funny, Maclay," she said, bumping Tara's shoulder, "Wanna go get some fro-yo or something?"

"Okay," Tara agreed.

They strolled off-campus and got some frozen yogurt, then went to eat it in a nearby park.

"I'm gonna miss summer," Willow said, leaning her head down against Tara's shoulder, "I meant it…best summer I've ever had. Being with you and living with you and just…you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Tara replied softly.

Willow's smile lit up her face.

"Good. 'Cause I want fall with you and winter and spring and summer again, and then we can just repeat the whole cycle, 'kay?"

"Deal," Tara replied, smiling too, "I'm looking forward to having something warm to cuddle up to in the cold nights."

She blushed then, and Willow lifted her head in time to catch it.

"Oh really?" she asked, then leaned in under the guise of kissing her cheek and lowered her voice to a whisper, "Why don't I go warm you up now?"

She pulled away and grinned that she'd gotten the reaction she'd wanted – a bright red girlfriend – but was pleasantly surprised when Tara suddenly stood and started to pull her away.

"Oh, okay!"

She was happy to be rushed back to campus and had the key ready to open the door, but was finding herself distracted as her lips found Tara's neck; pressing into her girlfriend from behind.

"Willow…" Tara warned playfully, "Open the door."

"I'm trying," Willow replied, her fingers slipping over the key as she tried to steady herself, "You're much too kissable."

Tara blushed and turned, intending to take over the key duties but was halted as Willow pressed a soft, chaste kiss against her lips

She lingered just a moment, then popped off with a smile and closed her hand over Willow's so they could finally get inside. The lock clicked open and they both had one foot through the door, when there was the skidding sound of shoes near them and a voice they unfortunately recognised from before.

"WHAT the heck were you two doing?" Chelsea asked, red-faced with disgust at what she'd witnessed.

"Going into our room," Willow replied with a roll of her eyes.

"I saw you!" Chelsea spat, fumbling over her words, "I… saw you!"

Willow put her hand on the small of Tara's back.

"Just go inside, baby."

Tara tried to step inside, but Chelsea made a grab for her, incensed. Willow caught her wrist and twisted it away.

"Get your hands off her!"

Chelsea yanked her hand back and stared at them agape for a moment, then scurried just a few doors down the hall, where the RA's dorm was, and began knocking frantically.

The RA – whom Tara recognised from the years before, named Grace – a tired-looking brunette woman holding an open file in one hand opened the door, but barely looked up.

"Bathrooms are at the end of the hallway on the left," she rattled off, unable to keep count of the amount of times the same question had been asked of her that day.

"I am here to report lewd behaviour!" Chelsea announced, crossing her arms over her chest.

Grace sighed and left her file down.

"What?"

"THEY," Chelsea started, pointing a finger down towards Willow and Tara, "Were KISSING in the hallway. And she TWISTED my arm!"

"She grabbed my girlfriend," Willow argued, taking the few steps down to them with Tara behind her.

"Both of you just keep your hands off each other," Grace instructed, putting a hand up to halt Willow so there was some space between them, "What is the issue?"

"I TOLD you, they were KISSING," Chelsea repeated, shuddering with disdain.

Grace sighed and looked to Willow, then noticed Tara behind her and offered a small smile.

"Hey Tara. Try and keep the PDA on the minimum, okay?"

"We were just going into our room," Willow replied, keeping calm for Tara's sake.

Grace clapped her hands together.

"Okay, then, great, issue resolved."

She started to close her door but Chelsea inserted her foot in to stop it.

"Issue _not_ resolved. They are living IN SIN!"

Grace was feeling less and less inclined to keep impartial as Chelsea continued.

"Right on," she said to Willow and Tara.

Chelsea looked like she'd been slapped and put her hands on her hips.

"I do not think the morals of Jesus and this school–"

Grace held up a hand to stop her.

"Don't give all Christians a bad name. And don't bother me again unless you have a _real_ issue."

Chelsea all but barked.

"It's Adam and Eve not Adam and–"

"Oh no. The only thing I hate more than unnecessary interruptions is _that phrase_," Grace replied, getting irked and looked to Willow and Tara, "Has this been on-going harassment?"

Willow shook her head.

"We just want to go back to our room."

Grace nodded, then fixed her eyes on Chelsea.

"I'll write you up if I see you giving anyone in this building trouble again."

Chelsea was flabbergasted a moment, then harrumphed and turned on her heels to rush away. Grace shook her head, then smiled at Willow and Tara.

"There's always one. Hopefully my only crazy of the day," she said, putting her file under her arm again, "If she gives you any hassle, come tell me."

"Thanks Grace," Tara replied with a smile.

Grace offered a wave, then closed her door again.

"You know her?" Willow asked, turning to go back to their room.

"She helped me get the summer job," Tara replied, "And I talked to her before you moved in to make sure it was all okay."

"Oh," Willow replied, opening the door for Tara, "Well, she seems nice. She resolved that pretty well."

"Yeah," Tara replied, though her voice had a hollow quality it hadn't before as she went to stand by the window and look out.

Willow closed the door behind them and followed her over, putting a hand on Tara's shoulder.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Tara was silent for several long moments before speaking.

"Why do people hate us?"

Willow moved her chin where her hand was and wrapped her arms around Tara's waist from behind.

"'Cause they're brainwashed and stupid and don't know what real love feels like," she replied, swaying them gently, "In case you were wondering, it feels like this."

Tara couldn't help a smile, which Willow caught in the reflection of the window.

"I'll make sure you don't have to see her again, okay?" she promised, "I'll call Becky if we need to see her and ask her to come down, or I'll go up by myself. If I see her in the hallways, I'll turn us the other way."

Tara sighed.

"We can't just avoid the problem."

"We can when it's not ours," Willow replied, giving Tara a squeeze, "We were having a nice day, don't let her ruin it."

Tara settled her hands over Willow's.

"Okay."

Willow turned her head in to press a kiss against Tara's cheek.

"No one could ever stop me from doing that."

She let her lips find Tara's ear next.

"Or that."

She dropped to Tara's pulse point.

"Or that."

She turned and nuzzled their noses together, then pecked Tara lovingly.

"Or that."

* * *

The next morning, Willow held her phone to her ear as Tara finished getting ready in the bathroom and waited for Becky to answer on the other end.

"Hey, we wanted to see if you wanted to get breakfast…um, we don't really need to come up, do we? Uh, alright, I'll be up in a sec…Becky…I really don't…I– Okay, okay, fine. We'll be up in a minute."

Tara came from the bathroom at that moment and Willow looked to her with a sigh.

"She wants to show us something. I swear if a single word is said…"

Tara inhaled softly and nodded, she didn't want to be afraid to go up to the room. Willow took her hand and held it firm as they went upstairs and knocked on the door.

Becky greeted them with a wide smile.

"Come in."

Willow was reluctant.

"Can't you just tell us–"

"Come. In," Becky insisted.

Willow sighed and stepped in first, intending to take the blow if one was given, but was utterly surprised to see the second half of the room stripped bare.

"Um…"

"Marched out, abrupt, aghast and appalled," Becky replied with a laugh, obviously delighted at the turn of events, "She was just about ready to set herself on fire thinking about sitting on a bed you'd been in and was ranting about how we were all contributing to a delinquent community or some shit. I bitched her out for that one. She made a call and the room was empty an hour later."

Tara blinked in surprise too, she felt momentarily guilty that Chelsea had felt the need to leave because of them, but quickly realised Willow was right, it wasn't their problem.

"She just…left…before school even started?" Willow questioned.

"I think dorm living wasn't as 'quaint' and 'adorable' as she imagined," Becky scoffed, then put a hand on Willow's upper arm, "Sorry she was such a bitch to you guys, but thank her precious lord she ran back to Mommy and Daddy."

Willow could only laugh in agreement.

"So no roommate?"

"I'm sure they'll replace her, but nobody can be as bad," Becky replied with a shrug, "You guys having sex so loud last night really tipped her over the edge."

Tara closed her eyes but attempting to control a blush was futile. Willow fixed Becky with a glare who held her hands up defensively.

"Sorry, Tara. I'll buy you a doughnut," she said, only for Willow to whisper something in her ear, "What? Ew. I mean, okay. I'll buy you some grapefruit. Really, you'd choose a grapefruit over a doughnut?"

"I-I have a meal plan," Tara replied, though offered a small smile to indicate she wasn't annoyed.

Embarrassed, yes, but she knew Becky's teasing was something she had to, and was, getting used to.

Willow took her hand to offer some comfort and Tara smiled again.

"So…celebratory bitch-free breakfast?" Willow asked and Becky nodded keenly.

"You know your mom's cooking is bad when you've missed cafeteria food," she said as they left.

"Sorry," Willow whispered to Tara on the way.

"It's okay," Tara whispered back, "It's part of her charm."

"I heard that," Becky said, suddenly moving between them to throw an arm around both of their shoulders, "You know what, I take back what I said yesterday. I wouldn't change you two for anything. Not even a shirtless Jake Gyllenhal on a hot summer's day. He's got a new movie coming out about gay cowboys, you know. That should appeal to all of us."

Willow shared a grin with Tara as Becky went off a tangent about pecs, lost on them. She sneakily reached for Tara's hand behind Becky's back and linked their fingers together.

Never had she been happier, or felt a school year start with more promise, than with Tara at her side, where she belonged. Always.

* * *

_This ends 'Part 1' of this fic. I'm splitting each school-year into separate parts to keep the timeline clearer. They've just had the summer after sophomore year and are starting their junior year. Part 2 will run until the start of their senior year, and each part will likely be smaller than the last so I'm not repeating myself with certain holidays/occasions etc. Thanks to everyone who's still reading :)_


	35. Chapter 35

**CurlyAkemy** – Glad to hear it! :D

**lafc** – Aww, thank you! I really enjoying writing them, so I'll definitely keep it up :)

**Queenphoenix08** – Some people let that little book rule their lives. I'm not exactly pro-any religion, but I like to think the nice ones do outweigh the bad ones…we just hear about the bad ones more!

**StephenPG** – Darn…I'll get it someday! I will deliver someone good for Becky, promise! Yes, I will be taking us right up to Hacker, though that will include two years of non-college life, so will be a separate fic! And I love your idea about a little time snag :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Right? Dickheads.

I'm definitely more of a Tara fan too, but I would have to be Willow in order to do anything with her because W/T are only made for each other :D

Hehe, balls :P

Lol Anna and Eve, I love it.

* * *

**Part 2**

* * *

"Tara!"

Tara looked up at the sound of her name being called and recognised the girl rushing over to her.

"Hi Mia," she greeted, closing the book she'd been reading as she waited for class to start, "You're doing Intro to Theatre too?"

"Yep," Mia replied, holding her books to her chest, "Funny…both ending up in the same class again."

Tara didn't recall in fact telling Mia she planned to be in this class in their final art class of the semester previous, so just smiled and nodded her agreement.

"Yeah, I guess we have similar interests."

Mia was absolutely delighted by that response and took it as permission to take the seat next to Tara. Tara was surprised but didn't object, nor did she notice the coy smiles she was receiving.

She discreetly checked her watch and hoped Willow would return from her convention before the class started.

"Eager for class, huh?" Mia asked, upon noticing.

"Um, yeah," Tara replied politely, it was definitely partly true.

"So you're here alone?" Mia asked, her tone that of someone trying to hide the emotion.

"Oh, actually–" Tara started to correct but the professor took that moment to arrive and announce her presence.

She was a middle-aged woman in a long, multi-coloured dress and had the pale skin of someone who didn't like to spend too much time in the sun. She had a gentle demeanour and moved with a rhythmic flow as if listening to a tune only she could hear.

Tara quite liked her just based on her initial appearance and was already prepped to listen to what she had to say.

"Welcome to Introduction to Theatre!" she said, enunciating and projecting right to the back of the room, "I am Professor Jacqueline Riggin and–"

She was cut off as someone, a redheaded someone, suddenly skidded through the door, red-faced from running.

"Sorry!" Willow said, having gotten engrossed at a panel and forgotten to leave in time for class.

"Time and theatre wait for no man," the professor said with a click of her tongue, closing the door after Willow, "Find your seat, please."

Willow scanned the crowd and spotted Tara. She smiled and hurried up to sit on her other side, much to Mia's concealed annoyance.

"Told you I'd get here on time," Willow whispered as she sat, "Almost."

Tara's lips quirked up on one side but she stayed silent as the professor spoke again.

"Here you will learn the historical and cultural influences of theatre, the staging styles and techniques, and the multiple genres of dramatic writing. We will also be producing a stage play, Death of a Salesman. This will be a public performance in front of the rest of the theatre faculty and students in higher classes who wish to attend. I will supervise the rehearsals. Auditions for this will start next week and I will be handing out the literature at the end of class, so you can begin practicing right away."

"Auditions?" Willow whispered nervously to Tara, "I didn't think there'd be auditions."

"Sshhh!" Mia shot over to her, snarling, "Some of us are trying to learn."

Willow retorted with a 'screw you' look, but kept quiet. She perked up again when Tara discreetly joined their hands between the seats.

Mia was smiling too, watching the way Tara's face lit up all of a sudden. It quickly fell away when she saw the reason.

The professor spent most of the class explaining what the rest of the semester would entail and giving details on how the bi-weekly classes would be split between classroom-based work and theatre.

"Literature on the desk. Auditions will be Monday, be prepared for a two-minute piece. Dismissed."

Willow started to gather her things and noticed Tara scribbling something with her left hand since the other was entwined with hers.

"Hey, you're writing with your other hand."

"I can write with both hands," Tara replied, finishing her note.

"You're ambidextrous?" Willow asked, impressed, then realised something, "That's why you're so good when you go lefty in bed!"

Tara turned red, but Willow had only spoken loud enough for her to hear. Her and Mia, who was still hovering nearby and had to try not to audibly retch.

Willow sent an apologetic smile Tara's way, who offered her hand as a sign of forgiveness.

"Bye Mia, see you next class," Tara said as they passed her on the way out.

"Yeah, bye," Willow echoed with less enthusiasm though still with an attempt at friendliness.

Mia waved weakly and looked like someone had just run over her puppy. She fled from the class as quickly as her legs would carry her.

"She wasn't exactly a ball of rainbows," Willow commented as the blur rushed past her.

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"She's always seemed nice to me. Maybe first class jitters, didn't want to miss anything," she replied, bumping against Willow's hip, "Which I told you, you shouldn't either."

"I like having a class together," Willow replied, smiling, "I won't be late next time, promise. This was the first time ever."

"How was your convention?" Tara asked.

"So much fun!" Willow gushed, "I actually kinda sorta want to go back. But I want the afternoon with you more!"

Tara thought about it a moment.

"Well…I could come along."

Willow's eyes lit up, but she didn't want to force it.

"You'd be bored out of your mind."

"I'd like to learn more about the things you like," Tara replied.

"Really?" Willow asked, bouncing lightly on her feet.

"Uh huh, sure," Tara replied, genuinely interested, "Do I need a ticket or something?"

Willow nodded.

"Yeah but they're still selling them at the door, and I'll pay since I'm kinda dragging you."

"You don't have to–"

"No, I insist!" Willow cut her off, "Let's go drop our books off real quick, it's only a couple of T stops away and there's a panel on at 4 I really, really, _really _want to go to. Ever heard of a TV show called Doctor Who?"

Tara shook her head and steam almost blew from Willow's ears in shock. She started to gush about the entire show with detailed explanations of each doctor; skipping along like someone pepped up on caffeine pills as she dragged Tara to their room for a quick stop, then to the T and finally to the convention centre.

"So they've just started the new series earlier this year and it was really, really good and now there's a new doctor coming in for the next series!" Willow finished, guiding Tara over to the ticket stall.

"And the…panel…is about the show?" Tara asked as Willow affixed a badge onto her shirt.

"Uh huh, it's the writers, the actual writers!" Willow replied excitedly, "We might get spoilers!"

"What are–" Tara started to ask for clarification, but was struck dumb as they entered the convention centre and she took in the sheer amount of people bustling through stalls and booths, a large chunk in costumes she didn't recognise but could appreciate the intricacies of.

Willow noticed her awe.

"Cool, huh? The costumes are called cosplay, they're mostly characters from TV or movies or comics or anything really. I've always wanted to do it but keep chickening out."

"Who did you want to dress up as?" Tara asked.

Willow shrugged.

"Maybe Xena, but I'm not exactly large with the muscles. Hey, you could be my Gabrielle," she said, only to notice Tara's blank look, "You've…never seen Xena? But how did you know you were gay?!"

Tara blushed as a couple of passers-by looked their way but they only stayed attentive for a second before being distracted by someone signing comics.

"Um, I-I don't know, I just did," Tara eventually replied.

Willow kissed Tara's blushing cheek for a second, then took her hand.

"Well we're watching it! Trust me, you'll thank me," she said, then checked her watch, "Hey we better go if we want to get seats. It's on the second floor I think."

She brought them to a map on the wall, then around the centre until she found the right room. It was already packed with eager fans but Willow spotted two seats in the very back row and went to snatch them at the same time as Batman and Chewbacca tried to as well.

"Hey, no saving seats," 'Batman' said in quite a whiny voice, not becoming of his Christian Bale counterpart.

"I'm not, she's right here," Willow retorted, grabbing Tara as soon as she came close enough, "Sorry, taken."

The two men grumbled away to lean against the back wall, while Willow bounced in her seat and looked between the empty stage and Tara giddily.

"I can't believe you're here. I feel like Clark Kent when he finally told Lois he was Superman," she said, keeping Tara's hand in hers, "I mean, this is dorkus maximus. I'm not your cool, suave girlfriend here."

Tara just smiled.

"You're so cute."

Willow decided that was a more-than-favourable response to showing Tara her geek-infested-roots.

"Yeah…keep thinking that."

"I will," Tara replied, shuffling over so they were thigh to thigh.

Willow was about to lean her head down on Tara's shoulder but her attention was quickly pulled away to the sounds of claps and cheers as four men appeared and took seats on the small stage.

She was instantly enraptured by what they had to say, her knuckles white as the held the chair beneath her.

Tara wasn't quite hanging onto every word like her girlfriend was, but did find the discussion quite interesting. With Willow's earlier explanatory babble-of-the-century, she actually found herself understanding a sizeable portion of what was said. The concept was slightly baffling to her, but entertaining none-the-less.

Thirty minutes in, there was an announcement of a surprise special guest. There was a hum from the audience for a moment, before shouts and shrieks when a tall dark-haired man appeared on stage. Willow almost leapt from her seat and grabbed Tara's arm.

"Tara, Tara, that's David Tennant!"

"David who?" Tara whispered back, causing glances of disbelief from all around.

Willow's eyes were fixed on stage and her fingernails were digging into Tara's skin.

"H-He's the new doctor _and_ he's in the new Harry Potter!"

Willow was turning as bright as a fire engine with excitement and Tara could tell by the sudden energy in the room that everyone else felt the same.

"I like his accent," Tara commented after a couple of minutes, but Willow seemed to still be too star-struck to listen.

The discussion resumed, and Tara finally learned what 'spoilers' meant as well as some for the actual show, which she thought she might actually enjoying watching with Willow.

The panel ended and the stage was filled with people wanting to get some kind of contact with a celebrity.

"Are you going to go up?" Tara asked.

Willow shook her head.

"Oh, no…bee swarm-y fans. Don't wanna fight a crowd," she replied, still buzzing with adrenaline, "Um, we can go."

Tara stood and walked from the room back into the main arena. Willow followed and they walked around admiring the merchandise for a few minutes before Tara suddenly realised she'd forgotten something.

"I left my sweater."

Willow looked to Tara's waist where her favourite blue sweater had been hanging earlier and was already heading back.

"I'll get it, baby, don't worry!"

She was gone in an instant and Tara wandered around the floor; people-watching and admiring costumes. She stopped at one table filled with various items of memorabilia and picked up on thing she noticed, a pez dispenser in the shape of the Tardis.

"This is Doctor Who's, um, spaceship, right?"

The man behind the table looked like he had a few things he wanted to correct her on, but finally just nodded. Tara blushed, glad Willow wasn't there so she didn't embarrass her girlfriend in her own domain, and handed a $5 dollar bill over, then pocketed the toy.

She wandered back to the spot Willow had left and waited the few minutes until her girlfriend came skidding back; sweater thrown over her shoulder and clutching her entry badge in her hands, which seemed to have a new silver squiggle on it.

"Tara, Tara, look! I got his autograph! Look! 'To Willow'! He knows my name! And I touched him, well he touched me, bumped into me, and he was super nice and the stage manager even took a picture of us and I don't think I can breathe!"

Tara just about caught all of that and was delighted for Willow.

"What happened?"

"He was leaving as I was going in," Willow replied, then threw her arms over Tara's neck, "You're the best girlfriend ever!"

"What did I do?" Tara asked, welcoming the embrace.

"Forgot your sweater!" Willow replied as if it was obvious, "Best-y best best."

She pecked Tara's cheek three times in quick succession then pulled back to give her a smile.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Tara replied with an affectionate smile, "You better keep that safe."

Willow held her badge like it was a precious stone and nodded.

"I'm gonna buy a protector for it!"

She went off to buy a protector for it from one of the numerous tables selling them and came back smiling.

"All the panels and stuff are over so unless you want to look around we can leave."

"Whatever you want to do, sweetie," Tara replied easily.

Willow considered it.

"Um, well, I kinda just want to get my photograph printed and go home and maybe work off some of this energy."

Tara blushed and smiled, which Willow took as a sign of agreement and began to lead them out. They stopped by a drugstore on the way and Willow printed off a few copies of her photo, one of her newest prized possessions.

They got back to campus and into their building, but were stopped short of getting into their room by a familiar voice.

"Hey lovebirds," Becky said, approaching them with another woman, both of them in similar 'going out' attire, "Oh, have you guys met Kimberly?"

"Kim, please," the other woman, tall like Becky but with blonde hair, said, "I'm Becky's new roommate."

"Oh! Hi!" Willow replied, "I'm Becky's old roommate!"

"Willow," Kim said with a smile, then her eyes fell to Tara, "And that would make you Tara?"

Tara nodded shyly and Kim offered her hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"You too," Willow said for both of them, shaking it after Tara, "So…you two seem like you're getting along."

Becky and Kim laughed, like they had an inside joke already.

"I've told her all about the she-bitch from hell," Becky said, smiling, "We're heading into the city. Do you two want to come?"

Willow glanced to Tara, then shook her head.

"Oh, I think we're staying in tonight."

Becky stuck her tongue out playfully.

"Fine, don't need you, got Kim."

"Oh is that how it is?" Willow replied good-naturedly.

Kim wasn't quite versed in the back-and-forth of Willow and Becky's relationship and held up a hand.

"I hope you don't think I'm stealing your friend."

"Are you kidding me? You're doing me a favour, no more being dragged to bar after bar," Willow replied with a light punch to Becky's arm then a smile to them both, "Hey, have a good night, bye."

The two girls waved and continued on their way out while Willow and Tara headed to their room.

"She seems nice," Tara commented as Willow let them in.

"She does! I'm happy, Becky likes her sleep but I think she likes being around people too. Not much for being on her own in a single room," Willow replied, closing the door behind them, then pressing herself up close to Tara, "Then again, I'm not much for being on my own in a single room either. Two…is much better…than one."

She started to lean to kiss Tara but suddenly remembered her photos and didn't want to bend them.

"Let me put my stuff away real quick!"

Tara nodded and let out a slow breath, then sat on the bed to untie her combat boots. She got them off and left them under the bed, then sneaked a glance over her shoulder to Willow, who was pinning a photo to the noticeboard.

She had no idea where the idea came from, but Tara suddenly found herself reaching under her skirt and removing her panties, tossing them under the bed with her shoes. Willow turned back right at that moment and came over, sitting herself in Tara's lap, facing her.

"Hey gorgeous," she whispered, running her hands gently over Tara's shoulders, "Thanks for coming with me today. Do you still love me after I showed my true colours?"

"More than ever. Thanks for showing me your world," Tara replied, then unzipped the pocket on the corner of her skirt and produced the pez dispenser, "Got you this."

Willow felt overcome as Tara presented her with the toy, a hundred times stronger than her brush with celebrity earlier. She held it reverently with both hands and looked up to meet Tara's eye.

"I love this. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Tara replied, closing the small gap between them.

Willow left the dispenser down gently on the nightstand and let her lips move against Tara's. She pushed them back so they fell to the mattress and they both shuffled up. Willow reached down and yanked her sneakers off, then bunched Tara's skirt up around her knees so she could lie between her girlfriend's legs easier.

A slow shudder went up Tara's spine as the cool air hit her exposed flesh but it was quickly replaced by the warm weight of Willow's body. Willow ran her hand up Tara's outer thigh and squeezed but she stilled completely when her fingertips brushed against where she expected panties to be.

Her gaze lifted to Tara's, who was breathing heavy and trying not to look away.

"Have you had your panties off all day?"

Tara didn't want to lie, but was enthralled by the piercing look in Willow's eyes. She opted to stay silent and instead reached down for Willow's hand and pressed it more firmly against herself.

Willow felt her desire soar to whole new levels and was suddenly ripping at Tara's clothes to try and get them off. Tara lifted and wiggled herself free of whatever item of clothing Willow grabbed at; then watched, aroused, as her girlfriend stripped herself.

Willow jumped off the bed to yank her own panties off, then climbed back on top of Tara, nude. She pressed their thighs together first, then their stomachs and chest until their faces were just grazing each other; breath co-mingled.

"I love how we fit together," Willow said as she rolled her hips, feeling that Tara was already aroused by the wetness that rubbed against her thigh.

Tara's neck tilted and her eyelids fluttered closed as Willow began to palm her breasts and tongue her nipples into stiff peaks. Short, raspy moans fell from her lips as Willow kissed down her stomach and circled back up into her neck. She let her hands slide into Willow's scalp and pulled her girlfriend in closer, then up to meet her lips.

Willow began to grind herself on top of Tara and lifted her up by the hip so their cores brushed against each other. She took in a sharp breath with each moment they connected and found her hand pressing more into Tara's thigh, then gently sliding between her lips.

Tara pushed her hips up and rolled them against Willow's hand.

"Mmmhhh, Willow," she moaned, her voice trembling and laced with need.

She let her own hand fall between them and dragged her palm down Willow's stomach before finally cupping her warmth.

Willow spread her legs invitingly on top of Tara and began to gently flick her girlfriend's clit. She felt the action returned on her and they quickly fell into a rhythm of jerks and moans; rolling around the bed and kissing with every ounce of passion they had.

Tara let her fingers delve into the depths of Willow, moaning as her girlfriend did the same to her. She could feel the quake in her thighs start to ripple through her.

"Willow…"

Willow almost came on the spot hearing how Tara moaned her name. She began to thrust harder and found a sensitive spot of Tara-neck to nibble on.

Tara gasped one final time as the rush of pleasure shot right to her toes. She was lost in herself for the few perfect moments, then opened her eyes and focused on Willow, who was still gently rocking atop her.

She put her hand on Willow's hip and rolled them over, then coaxed her over the edge with a few flicks of her wrist and thumb.

"Ah…ah… … Ohhhhh…"

Willow's hands tightened in Tara's back as she came, pulling their bodies together to feel the slick sheen of sweat between them.

Tara continued to gently stroke Willow's folds to ease her down, then kissed her and rolled off to lie on her stomach.

She watched the steady rise and wall of Willow's chest for a few seconds, but had a confession.

"I only took them off when we got back."

Willow's eyes slowly blinked open and she smiled lazily.

"I figured," she replied, flipping her arm up to take Tara's hand, "Still turned me on like crazy."

Tara's cheeks flushed and Willow rolled herself on her side to kiss along Tara's shoulder blade and the back of her neck.

"Can we do this all weekend?"

Tara closed her eyes to enjoy the kisses.

"You have a paper due on Tuesday. And we have to prepare auditions."

Willow deflated at that and flopped back down on the bed.

"Eurgh. Auditions. I would not have suggested that class if I knew there would be auditions," she replied with a sigh, "At least I don't have a chance in hell of getting a part so I can just do behind the scenes stuff."

Tara gently rubbed Willow's belly.

"Hey, don't say that, I'll bet you're great."

Willow smiled at the tummy rubs, but shook her head.

"I don't think so. I may be a lesbian, but I'm definitely no thespian."


	36. Chapter 36

**Queenphoenix08** – She'll deserve all the hurt she gets! Some people will go to any lengths to get what they want.

**Btvsobsessed623** – Glad you're enjoying it! I remember watching Xena when I was just a kid and then properly again when I was a teenager, but it's definitely a stock favourite in the community!

**CurlyAkemy** – Hehe, glad you got a giggle. I'm a big Who fan too, those t-shirts sound awesome! My only one is the Tardis drawn like Starry Night, but I love it too!

**StephenPG** – Not a crush, just liking her as a teacher! You won't feel sorry for her for too long…

(sorry it's late this week, storm and internet troubles!)

**Willara4ever** – Really glad you're enjoying it! :) The Mia plot begins to thicken!

* * *

"Pay attention now, students, pay attention, class has begun."

The bustle of people in the small theatre quietened down and took various seats as the professor walked onto the stage. Willow and Tara were already sitting near the front and smiling as they tried to stop giggling to each other and pay attention.

The squeaking sound of the door came once more as Mia skidded into class. Her eyes instantly sought out Tara and dropped when she saw her not alone. She was going to go over and sit by her anyway, but a stern look from the professor made her drop into the nearest seat instead.

"Willow, stop!" Tara whispered, trying to hold back a giggle as Willow discreetly tickled her outer thigh.

Willow couldn't stop herself from grinning, but did stop the finger-dance so they wouldn't get into trouble. She linked her fingers in with Tara's hanging hand to get rid of the temptation.

The professor stood in the middle of the stage and cast a slow glance around the room. It could be easy to mistake her look for one of disdain as she peered down through the glasses hanging from her nose, but when she spoke she revealed a nicer tone, though with an odd mix of jaded excitement at hearing the auditions.

"I will call you each down by name. Please come down promptly and state where your piece is from and the character you're portraying. Be silent while others are performing, if I catch anyone speaking you will leave this class and you will receive a zero."

That seemed to wipe any smiles off even the biggest class clowns' face and any last hum of disruption ceased.

The professor nodded with satisfaction that she'd gotten her point across and retrieved a notebook from her briefcase. She sat in the empty front row where no other student had deigned to.

"Walsh," she called after a minute of settling and a tall but thin boy made his way to the stage with great aplomb.

Willow was quite disinterested in watching the good, the bad and the ugly prance around on stage, so spent her time exploring the arena of silent affection by massaging Tara's hand.

Tara smiled and began to return it by brushing their fingers together, then turned Willow's palm over and began to trace letters in it.

Willow felt tickled at first but quickly twigged what Tara was doing.

_I… L… O… ve you._

She bounced giddily in her seat, but the resulting creak caused a sharp look over the shoulder by the professor, so she quickly stopped.

She didn't have time to ponder how to return the sentiment as Tara was called up next. She watched as her girlfriend took the place under the spotlight with lightly flushing cheeks and a demure demeanour.

"Duet For One, Stephanie," she said, with a tiny nervous lilt, to the professor, who wrote it down, then gave her the nod to start.

Tara took a moment to prepare herself and found a dark spot to focus on so she could pretend there was no one else there.

"My grandfather gave me my first violin when I was four years old. Can you believe it? Four years old…"

Willow had seen Tara practice the monologue a hundred times over the weekend, but found herself just as captivated as if it was the first time. She listened with rapt attention as Tara's voice dripped with the emotion of a woman who found her life turned upside down and future snatched away.

She thought of how Tara herself had overcome such adversity to have a life outside of the abuse she grew up with; how strong she'd been; the fear she faced, and how she'd believed in a better life. It astounded her that Tara could use all her pain and channel it into empathy, even with a fictional character.

"…succumb to our fear or confront it directly. Brilliant. Where did you learn that Doctor? Did they teach you to say it in medical school?"

A couple of people clapped, Willow the loudest, when Tara finished and the professor looked impressed though remained as reserved as ever.

"Thank you, Tara. Rosenberg."

Tara felt a tingle at the back of her neck at hearing their names said in that order, but was quick to leave the stage.

"Good luck," she whispered to Willow as they passed on the way and slipped their hands into each other for the briefest and sweetest of encouraging squeezes.

Willow didn't know whether it was a good or bad thing to be following Tara's performance, but could feel the nerves she'd forgotten about coming back. She stepped into the same spot and had to cover her eyes so as not to be blinded by the spotlight until her eyes adjusted.

"Uh, it's The Glass Menagerie. And, um, Laura."

The professor noted it and gave her the nod, though Willow didn't catch it.

"Whenever you're ready, Miss Rosenberg," the professor said after a minute, tapping her pen against her notebook.

"Right!" Willow said, hurrying to straighten up, "Sorry!"

She found Tara in the crowd who gave her a smile and a thumbs up, enough to give her the confidence to start. She took in a long, slow breath like Tara had shown her when they were practicing, and began.

"No, Mom, please! I have to say this. I can't go outside these walls. There's just too much pain! I can feel everyone staring at me–staring at this!" she exclaimed, pointing at her leg where the character in question had a leg brace, "Uh, you have to imagine the leg brace."

The professor's eyebrow twitched, which plummeted Willow's confidence, but she forced herself to continue.

"Um, the uh, noise! The noise it makes is too loud! I mean it's just so loud! That's why I dropped out of colleg–high school! I felt everyone's eyes staring at me, heard all the chuckles…giggles? Heard all the giggles–"

The professor held her hand up, then went so far as to stand to stop Willow.

"That's quite enough. Thank you," she said, indicating for Willow to take her seat again, "Next! Alvarez!"

Willow shoved her hands into her pockets and walked dejectedly back up the aisles.

"I fucked that up," she murmured, flinging herself into the chair.

"I thought you were great," Tara replied very quietly and leaned over to press a kiss to Willow's cheek.

Willow couldn't help but smile – she decided in that moment she'd much rather have someone believe in her even when she sucked than to actually be good at something.

"You were wonderful," she chanced a whisper back, "You were. I really felt it. Amazing."

Tara didn't risk continuing the conversation, lest they get caught, but did slink their fingers together again and rested their arms on the armrest between them.

There were only a couple of people left to audition and both girls half-watched, but were mostly just making eyes at each other.

"Cast lists will be posted outside the door before next class," the professor's voice broke through to pull their attention away, "I expect full attendance and dedication. Anyone who doesn't receive a role will be understudies and in stage crew. Each role on and off stage is vital to the production, so don't think any less will be expected of you. Good work today. Dismissed."

There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief that auditioning was over, Willow contributing largely to it. She stood up and handed Tara her satchel then lifted her notebook from the floor. As she straightened back up, she recognised Mia approaching them but was not getting a look back in return.

"Tara," Mia said as she approached, face lit up and looking right past Willow, "You were so good."

"Told you," Willow replied with a smile, nudging Tara's shoulder.

"I bet you'll get the lead," Mia interjected quickly, stepping forward as if trying to oust Willow out of the scene completely.

"You deserve it," Willow added on, oblivious to anything other than Tara getting some much-deserved props.

"You two are good for my ego," Tara replied with a light blush.

"You're just so amazing," Willow responded with a heart full of love, then leaned over and pressed her lips against Tara's.

Tara instinctively responded, but saw Mia begin to shift. She mistook the look of misery and contempt for one of awkwardness at witnessing a private moment and pulled away, then gently patted Willow's shoulder.

"Hey, we missed lunch," she said, turning a little redder at the clandestine reason why, and tried to deflect by looking to Mia, "Do you want to come with us?"

"Actually I have to go see a professor," Willow piped up, glancing at her watch.

"Oh you do?" Tara asked, clearly disappointed that they had to separate.

"Uh huh, I need to check on something for a paper," Willow replied, pecking Tara's cheek and giving her the sneakiest of butt squeezes with an accompanying 'look', "I'll see you later."

Tara tried not to blush more at the promise in that tone and took a bottle of water from her satchel to take a long sip as Willow left.

"So, um, do you want to get lunch?" she asked as her cheeks began to calm.

Mia hugged her folder tight to her chest and nodded keenly.

"Yes, I'd like that," she replied, barely able to hide the zealous enthusiasm in her voice.

Tara indicated for her to her to go ahead, and they headed from the theatre room in the direction of the cafeteria.

"Are you enjoying class?" Tara asked as they walked down the hallway.

Mia didn't say anything for a moment.

How could she reveal she had already taken this class a long time ago? That she was a theatre major, and an accomplished one at that, who had only been able to sneak into the class because the professor was new and didn't know her yet?

How could she say any of that without revealing the real reason she'd taken the class? She knew by the interaction she'd witnessed before that Tara wasn't ready to be receptive to her advances. There was work to do there yet.

"Yeah, it's interesting," she eventually replied, "I don't think I did too well with the audition."

That part was true, at least. She'd purposefully messed some things up, not anticipating Tara being as skilled as she was, in the hope they would be able to do stage crew together.

"Oh, I liked it," Tara replied kindly, "You have good projection."

Mia looked like she'd been complimented by Shakespeare himself.

"Thank you," she said, her smile lifting her face and showing off her dimples, "You'll definitely get a part in the show, probably the female lead."

"Oh, I actually don't want–" started to reply but was cut off as a large guy rushed passed them from the cafeteria and bumped into her, causing her to stumble back and her water bottle to go rolling away.

Mia went after it, then offered a hand to help Tara up. She felt her heart begin to race as they connected, but Tara only held on for as long as it took her to stand.

"Thanks," she said, taking her water back and putting it securely away in her bag.

"Um, are you okay?" Mia asked, cheeks flushed from the physical contact.

Tara smiled, thinking about her first meeting with Willow.

"Yeah. Being unsteady on our feet is something Willow and I have in common," she said as she held the doors to the cafeteria open for them, "Used to stumbling."

Mia felt her heart sink that their 'special moment' wasn't so special to the other party and dejectedly followed Tara into the cafeteria and through the line to get lunch.

She watched Tara pick out a salad and chose the same. She could show Tara they had things in common. She could win her. She just had to bide her time and spend it well.

"So, um, how long have you and…" she clenched her jaw for a moment as they sat at a table; even saying 'her' name made her jealous, "Willow been together?"

An easy and unassuming smile spread on Tara's face.

"Just coming up on eight months."

Mia flicked her fork dismissively.

"Oh, not even a year. Not that serious."

"Actually, we're pretty–"

"Hey, do you ever volunteer?" Mia cut her off when she saw the conversation turning the opposite way to what she wanted.

"Sorry?" Tara asked, confused about the conversation jump.

They only made sense to her when they were Willow's.

"Volunteer," Mia repeated, trying to keep her voice steady, "I, um, volunteer at a shelter. Just thought, if you had some spare time…we could always use an extra pair of hands."

"Oh," Tara replied, remembering her time spent volunteering during high school, "I helped out at a clothes bank back at…before college. I-I'd love to help."

Mia smiled both in excitement and relief. She didn't have a plan, per se, but securing some time away from classes and…_Willow_…well that had to be on the right track.

"Great! I'll, um, give you the address. I go there on Saturdays, it's the busiest day."

She ripped a piece of paper from her notebook and scribbled something on it, then handed it across the table.

Tara checked the address quickly and didn't recognise it, but knew Willow could do her computer magic and find it for her.

"I'll be there," she promised with a smile, folding the paper securely into her pocket again.

As she was pulling her hand back out, she felt the vibration of her cell phone and pulled it out to check. Her heart skipped a beat just from seeing Willow's name light up on the screen, but quickly started to pound as she read the message received.

She quickly flipped the phone closed and pocketed it while stumbling to stand.

"I'm really sorry, I have to go."

Mia did a double-take and looked at the untouched plate.

"You haven't had your lunch."

Tara grabbed her bread roll to eat on the way back to the room and cleared her plate away to the nearby trash.

"Sorry, um, Willow…needs me."

Mia let out a brief sigh.

"Right."

"It was nice talking to you," Tara said, already backing away, "And the shelter, thanks for the info."

"I wrote my number on the back if you want to…" Mia started to reply, but trailed off dumbly when Tara was out the doors barely a second later, "Call."

Tara got back to their dorm in record time, bursting through the door red-faced, then leaning back against it as it closed.

Willow's was sitting with her legs swinging off the bed, expecting her, and smirked when she saw her.

"Wow, you must have run across campus."

Tara blushed on top of the flush of exertion.

"I told you to stop sending me dirty texts."

"Why?" Willow asked, standing up and walking right up close to her as she lowered her voice, "When they turn you on so much…"

Tara grabbed the door knob to steady herself as Willow pressed a kiss into her neck.

"I thought you had to meet with your professor."

"He wasn't there," Willow whispered against Tara's skin, "I made an appointment. For later. Much later."

Tara was struggling to maintain composure.

"How come you didn't meet us for lunch?"

"Because food isn't what I'm hungry for," Willow replied, scraping her teeth along Tara's neck, "I already told you what I'm hungry for."

She let her hand start to fall down to Tara's thigh, but suddenly stopped and stepped back when she felt a bulge.

"Um…do you have something to tell me? Or are you just happy to see me?"

Tara turned scarlet and reached into her pocket to produce the 'bulge'.

"Bread roll."

"Oh," Willow replied, somewhat relieved despite the absurdity of the alternative, "Oh, I'm sorry, I pulled you away from lunch, you didn't get to eat."

Tara tossed the bread roll aside, landing it squarely in the small trash can; impressing Willow since it had been done blind.

"Hey, you're go–"

She didn't quite get to express her amazement as Tara took a hold of her collar and crushed their lips together.

Willow quickly forgot about Tara's latent bread-tossing skills in lieu of the talented tongue pushing its way into her mouth.

She pushed her body right up on Tara's so they were pressing against the door and let her hands cup her girlfriend's breasts through her shirt.

Tara moaned quietly; never happier to be pinned against something. She had to stop herself squirming when a hand slid down under her panties and was surprised a moment later as she felt a chill from her pants being yanked down to her ankles. A bigger surprise came when she saw Willow drop to her knees.

"Can you keep yourself up?" Willow asked as she slipped the material around Tara's ankles and off.

Tara could just about manage a nod, though her eyes were darting around as if the door had suddenly become see-through and people were looking in.

She felt the exhilaration increase as her leg was lifted over Willow's shoulder. She began to shake with anticipation when she felt two fingers part her lips and the cool air hit her. Her hips scooted down a whole inch when Willow finally brought her mouth close to tease her, and she took hold of the doorknob again.

She felt Willow's hand move to her hip to help support her and was grateful for it; being quite so vertical in this situation was new. It took an awkward moment or two for her to figure out the rhythm of her hips, but Willow was as eager as ever to aide her movements.

Willow could feel the carpet burning through her jeans to her knees but was distracted enough not to care. Her hand squeezed Tara's thigh and cheek, using her grip to bury her face in more.

She let her tongue explore to its heart content but made sure to pay enough attention to the throbbing little bud to keep Tara's moans at large. It wasn't long before she felt tugging at her hair and knew Tara was close. She knew the position they were in wasn't conducive to drawing things out, so used a certain twirling tongue trick she'd noticed Tara went particularly crazy for.

True to prediction, Tara's decibel level and hip speed rose considerably; and while hidden behind her shirt, her chest flushed right up to her cheeks. She was beginning to writhe uncontrollably, so much so that she was banging back against the door in a steady rhythm, though was far from noticing.

She finally felt that first rush of release just seconds later and bit down hard on her lip to keep from screaming.

Willow kept up the action but moved away from more sensitive areas to ease Tara down. She let Tara's foot fall back to the floor, then slowly stood up, hands firm on her girlfriend's waist. She waited for Tara's eyes to open, then leaned in close so their noses bumped.

"You came running all the way across campus just because you read that I wanted to…" she said, whispering the message she'd sent into Tara's ear provocatively, "Do you _really_ want me to stop?"

Tara was once again glad for the support as she felt her knees go weak.

"Never," she breathed out in one slow breath.

Willow ginned salaciously.

"Maybe one day you'll even send one back," she said, pulling Tara's naked hips against her clothes ones, "And I'll be the one to… _come_ running."

Tara felt the cold metal of Willow's jeans button press into her lips but managed not to jump, though her pupils dilated and eyes clouded over.

"You turn me on… so much."

"Trust me," Willow replied in a low, provocative tone, "The feeling's mutual."

She used her body to push Tara right up against the door again and was about to take her lips so she could devour them, when suddenly a knock came from the other side.

Tara instantly tried to cover herself with her hands but remembered quickly that the door still wasn't see-through. Willow motioned for her to stay still, then went to open the door.

"Wipe your mouth," Tara hissed as her hand was on the knob.

Willow quickly shoved her sleeve over her mouth, then cracked the door open just enough to poke her head out. Grace, the RA, was on the other side, an eyebrow quirked.

"Is everything alright in there?"

Willow nodded once.

"Yes."

Grace tried to peer in behind Willow.

"I heard a lot of banging."

Willow could hear Tara's heavy breathing and raised her voice to compensate.

"Moving…books…text books…heavy."

"Right," Grace replied disbelievingly, "Take them one at a time next time."

Willow nodded again.

"Uh huh. Will do. Sorry. Bye."

Grace regarded Willow for another moment, then shook her head and smirked.

"You missed your chin."

Willow made a hasty wipe as Grace walked back down the hall and Tara groaned behind her hands. Willow closed the door and leaned back against it alongside Tara.

"Maybe she thought I just ate a doughnut."

Tara remained completely motionless for a moment, before suddenly dissolving into laughter. Willow was completely surprised but found it contagious.

"Hey, laughing, laughing's good!"

Tara looked down and remembered how ridiculous she looked, which only served to make her laugh more. She staggered over to the bed so she could sit and cover herself, then hunched over as she laughed.

Willow saw an opportunity and bounced over.

"I'll really give you something to laugh about!"

Tara sensed the impending tickle attack but wasn't quick enough to avoid it as Willow's fingers descended on her. She giggled and squirmed and called out pleas to stop, but Willow not only managed to keep up the attack, but to use Tara's squirming to get the rest of her clothes off.

"Hey!" Tara protested, though not with much gusto, quite happy to keep 'squirming'.

Willow took pride in her tickling skills, but was just a mere woman and couldn't help but let her focus be taken away when two full breasts were staring back at her.

Tara blushed and thought to herself she had a secret arsenal against a future Willow-assault. She let her hands settle on Willow's waist.

"You're wearing an awful lot of clothes for someone who likes to take them off so much."

Willow absolutely melted upon hearing the evocative undertone anytime Tara became suggestive, and despite already having her girlfriend naked, it affected her as much as ever.

She took a hold of either side of her shirt and ripped it from her body, much to Tara's surprise and delight.

"You popped a button."

"I'll pop another," Willow replied, doing just that to her jeans and pushing them off over her hips.

Tara lifted her knees for Willow to sit back against and took a moment to admire her; the polka-dotted bra clashing with the duck-embossed panties only serving to make her fall more in love and turn her on harder.

"God you're hot," she said, voice tinged with breathless arousal.

She pushed herself up and threw her arms around Willow's neck to bring her close enough to kiss, then dropped them to undo her bra. She quickly pulled the fabric off and tossed it aside, then slid her hands up to cup Willow's breasts.

Willow tilted her neck back and moaned, then fell forward and pressed their bodies together. She felt Tara make a tug at her panties, then come back up when they were off to stroke between her lips.

She took in a sharp breath, then fixed her hips and let her own hand mirror the action on Tara.

Tara closed her eyes to savour the sensation but quickly opened them again when she felt Willow's forehead rest on hers.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hi," Willow replied, smiling.

They took a moment to nose nuzzle, then shared a kiss and let their hands resume a more energised exploration and quickly settled into a rhythm.

"Ugh, Tara…mmm…"

"Ohhh!"

"Uh, umm…mmmm."

"Yes…"

"Yes!"

"Yes…!"

"Yessssss!"

"Ahhhhh."

Willow rode out the last waves of her orgasm watching Tara twitch from hers, then finally fell off to the side with a satisfied sigh.

"Uh huh…definitely gonna keep sending those messages."

Tara made a wearied noise of agreement and turned herself on her stomach, closing her eyes. Willow's eyes instantly fell to Tara's butt, which was very softly moving up and down as her breathing settled.

"You're looking at my butt," Tara accused without needing to see.

"Yep!" Willow agreed without hesitation.

Tara giggled quietly and kept her eyes close, a smile remaining. Willow smiled too and amused herself by playing gently with Tara's toes, then after a while lifted her nearby laptop up and started to play around.

Another little while passed until she came across something she wanted to share, but her girlfriend appeared to be peacefully asleep, unmoving.

"Tara, are you asleep?" she whispered and jumped a little when Tara's eyes instantly opened, alert.

"Uh uh."

Willow took a slow breath for a moment, then shook her head to focus.

"I wanna show you something."

"Do I have to move?" Tara asked, clearly unimpressed with the idea.

Willow smiled and scooted down in the bed so she could see the laptop screen.

"No. It's a video," she said, loading up said video, "A British Claymation thing…I watched it a lot when I was a kid. Just watch for me."

Tara obliged and watched the tale play out, littered with soft giggles and smiles.

"It's funny, I like it," she said as it ended, "I like the dog."

"I just read there's a new movie, a whole feature length one out," Willow replied, tone eager, "I thought we could go see it on Saturday."

"Oh, I kinda have plans," Tara replied apologetically.

Willow was surprised; Tara didn't usually have plans that didn't involve her.

"Oh."

"We could still go," Tara said, seeing the disappointment, "It's just Mia–"

"That's that girl right?" Willow interrupted, "That sits by us a lot? That you went to lunch with?"

"Yeah, we're kind of friends," Tara replied, waving it off with a hand gesture, "Anyway, she said she volunteers at a homeless shelter and asked if I'd be willing to help out."

"A shelter?" Willow asked, wary.

Tara shrugged one shoulder softly.

"A place like it helped me when I was growing up…get some food and clothes and stuff."

Willow's attitude flipped like a light-switch.

"I'll come too."

"Really?" Tara asked, touched.

"Yeah, I'd like to help," Willow said, completely genuine, "If that's okay."

Tara nodded keenly.

"She said they can always use an extra pair of hands."

Willow leaned down and pressed a kiss to Tara's nose.

"Great. Then I'm definitely in."


	37. Chapter 37

**Queenphoenix08** – I think she's starting to suspect something, that's for sure!

**Willara4ever** – Uh huh, I think she's very methodical like that! Mia wants what she can't have, which is often a recipe for disaster!

**CurlyAkemy** – Yes it was! Was curious if anyone would get it ;)

**Willowtarafan4life** – You won't feel sorry for her for long. We are currently in late August/early September 2005

**StephenPG** – Well, even the limits of Tara's ability to see good is going to be stretched by the time this is all over!

In a word, _pissed._

Grace is straight.

Haha, yep, Willow does have a tendency to pick things out at random times.

Thank you for your patience!

**Dirty Tube Socks –** It's a while back, chapter 23!

_"So are you keeping this class up next year?" Mia asked, smiling almost giddily._

_"I'm not sure, I'm still sorting out my schedule," Tara replied, leaving her assignment down as she approached the professor's desk._

_"Yeah, it's hard to fit in those electives," Mia said, quickly copying the action and following her towards and out the door._

_Tara nodded._

_"I think, um, 'Introduction to Theatre' is the only decided one so far."_

_"That sounds like it could be fun," Mia replied, almost standing on the tips of her toes excitedly._

Mia was first mentioned way back in 'Family' as "...that skank who had a crush on you in college and tried to break us up", so she's got some skanky bitchiness to live up to! Definitely never intended to be a sympathetic character.

* * *

Willow giddily bounced in her seat as she waited for Tara to arrive in their class. She couldn't wait to share the good news she'd seen upon arriving.

Someone else approached her first. She looked up and recognised Tara's friend, though the woman didn't appear too happy.

"Is Tara not coming to class today?"

"She just stopped to get something, she'll be here in a sec," Willow replied cordially, then offered her hand, "We never really got properly introduced. I'm Willow."

Mia looked like she was being asked to pick up a slug, but begrudgingly shook Willow's hand.

"Mia."

"Yeah, I know," Willow replied with a smile, trying to be friendly, "I'm glad you and Tara get on so well, it's nice for her to have a friend. Oh and she told me about–"

She cut herself off as she noticed a familiar face come through the door and jumped up to rush over to her girlfriend.

"Tara, Tara, you got the lead!"

"Huh?" Tara asked, bewildered.

"Look!" Willow said excitedly, pulling her over to the cast list posted on the noticeboard.

Tara's eyebrows rose as she saw her name printed next to the female lead.

"I told you, I told you, you were great!" Willow continued, thrilled and proud.

"Um, yeah," Tara replied, not as enthusiastic.

"Everyone back to your seats now please, we have a class to get on with," the professor's voice suddenly projected throughout the room as she came in and clapped her hands together to bring about silence.

Willow started to move back to their seats, but Tara broke away.

"Just a sec," she whispered and walked over to the professor.

Willow sat back down and watched the two exchange a few words. She couldn't hear, but could tell Tara was nervous and apologetic, while the professor seemed frustrated, then resigned. She finally nodded and Tara looked relieved as she made her way back.

"What was that about?" Willow asked.

Tara offered Mia a wave and a quick hello as she sat between them, but the professor explained the situation before she had a chance to.

"There is a change in casting. Laila Jones will take over the role of Linda and Tara Maclay will assume her role."

There was a happy shriek from the other corner but both Mia and Willow looked completely surprised, though for different reasons.

"What the heck?" Willow asked, "Why?"

"I told you I didn't want it," Tara replied, getting her notebook and pen out to take notes.

Willow's mouth was agape.

"I thought you were being modest! Why don't you want it?"

"Yeah, Tara," Mia jutted in, though her eyes were shining with delight, "Why would you turn it down?"

"Because it requires kissing a pair of lips that aren't yours," Tara replied to Willow, matter-of-factly.

Willow faltered. She hadn't been aware of that. But she didn't want to hold Tara back either.

"But…it's the lead…"

Tara gently cupped Willow's cheek and quickly brushed her thumb over her girlfriend's jawline.

"I don't ever want to kiss anyone but you."

Willow smiled.

Mia didn't.

"That means we're scene partners," she interjected, hating how much of their possible conversation was halted by Willow being there.

She couldn't wait to get Tara alone.

"Great," Tara replied with a pleasant smile, "We can go over our lines together."

Mia's eyes flashed with Machiavellianism but she didn't get a chance to reply as the professor quietened them all down again and began to start lecturing on the subject of the day; neoclassical theatre.

Tara listened; quite interested in the history and how it related to ages of art she'd studied.

She was oblivious to the loving gazes being directed at her from either side.

When class was finished, her attention was caught by the professor.

"Tara, a word."

She frowned nervously and gathered her things.

"See you tomorrow," she said to Mia, then whispered to Willow, "Meet me outside?"

Willow nodded and Tara went down to the professor's desk, trying to keep her hands still in front of her. The professor was idly sorting some papers.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to take on the role? I think you have tremendous promise."

Tara's cheeks flushed lightly but she shook her head.

"I-I'm very interested in learning more about the theatre but I don't…there's one emotion I can't fake…or give to…I-I'm sorry."

The professor nodded her head, dignified as ever.

"Very well, though I wouldn't recommend pursuing any more classes within the acting field if you put those restrictions on yourself."

"Thank you…I'm glad I still get to experience this class," Tara replied, hating even the merest of confrontations, "And for your understanding. I s-should have said something before you made up the cast lists. I never thought I'd get the part."

"Well it's better you spoke up than not at all…give someone who wants it the opportunity," Professor Riggin said, putting things away in a briefcase, "I still expect you to give your full effort to the smaller role."

Tara nodded dutifully.

"I will."

"Good," Riggin replied, offering a rare smile, "Have a good weekend."

Tara returned the sentiment and quickly left, to be greeted by Willow on the other side of the door.

"Hey. Look at you. All coming out of class and everything."

"I do that sometimes," Tara replied, smiling, "Usually at the end part of the class."

Willow smiled back and reached for Tara's hand.

"Did she convince you to take the role?"

Tara's eyebrow quirked as they walked away.

"You really want me to kiss that guy?"

Willow held back a shudder.

"No, of course not. But I'll deal with it if it means you not missing out on an opportunity. It's a super tiny part of the role. I think. Right?"

She started to bite the skin on the side of her thumb as she thought about how 'okay' she was with it really, but Tara was quick to shoot it down again.

"Honey, you're the one who wanted to do drama. I'm just along for the ride. I don't need an opportunity."

Willow let out a small breath of relief and decided to let it go if it's really what Tara wanted.

"Irony is I won't even get to do drama…just painting trees and pulling curtains," she replied though looked pleased about it, "But I think I'm super lucky it worked out that way… I grossly underestimated the ability I have to make an ass of myself. No need to do it in front of a bunch of people."

"I bet you'll be the best curtain-puller they ever saw," Tara replied, full of belief.

Willow smiled bashfully.

"And I bet you'll be the best, darn 40's chick they ever saw! "she replied, believing it too, "Mia looked pretty happy about it."

Tara shrugged softly.

"Guess she feels more comfortable knowing someone in a scene with her."

"Yeah she doesn't seem to talk to many other people in class…" Willow replied, sighing once, "Really glad you have a friend and everything but does she have to be so… present… in our one class together?"

Tara swung their hands together.

"We still get to hold hands under the desk."

A slow smile spread on Willow's face.

"Yeah. I'm being a brat. I'm sorry."

Tara gave Willow's hand a squeeze.

"Make up for it tomorrow at the shelter."

Willow giggled, in a giddy mood, and threw her hands up cheerily.

"Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow, you're always a day away!"

* * *

Willow looked through the closet in search of a warm sweater to wear for the day. She'd thrown her laundry in there when she'd done it a couple of days before and somehow, by the power of Tara, it had all been magically transformed into structure and order.

She located her sweaters neatly folded, though spotted one that shouldn't be there given how she'd torn it in a moment of passion a few days previously.

"I threw this one out," she said, idly tossing it over her shoulder.

Tara walked over and picked it back up.

"I put it back."

"I ripped it," Willow explained.

"I fixed it," Tara countered.

Willow spun around.

"You fixed it?"

"I fixed it," Tara confirmed, holding it up to show.

Willow made a grab for it and examined the as-new garment.

"How did you fix it?"

Tara sat on the corner of the bed.

"With a needle and some thread."

"You know how to sew?" Willow asked, awed.

"It's not that hard," Tara shrugged.

Willow pulled the sweater on, feeling even more proud to wear it now it had a special Tara-touch to it.

"Ready?" Tara asked, standing again.

"Uh huh!" Willow replied, eager to take her hand, "Lead the way."

They left their room but it wasn't long before they were stopped again, as they met Becky at the main doors.

"Hey, lovebirds," Becky greeted, looking like she was just walking in from the night before.

"Hey, Becky," Willow replied while Tara waved.

"Hi Becky."

"Where are you two going on this sunny Saturday?" Becky asked, running a hand through her hair.

"We're volunteering at a homeless shelter," Willow replied.

Becky slumped.

"Why do you guys have to be such better people than me?" she said, rolling her eyes, though good-naturedly, "You're helping the needy and I'm… helping my needs… by watching a bunch of sweaty baseball players train later."

Willow eyed her friend.

"I thought the school coach told you stay away?"

"Haha," Becky replied in a bark, "I'm not talking about those amateurs…my new boyfriend's in the minors."

"New boyfriend?" Willow asked, interest piqued.

"Didn't want to say anything, you know how it is," Becky replied casually, though was obviously delighted to spill, "But he introduced me to the team last night, so I think that makes us officially an item!"

"Well, awesome," Willow replied, happy her friend had a new beau on the scene, "What's his name?"

"Luke Stinson," she said, his name leaving her lips with a purr, "Hottie Hotpants. Hey, he wants me to come to his game next weekend, it's in Fenway and everything, I'm sure I could get you guys in too."

Willow's eyes went wide.

"Uhhh…"

"Come on, don't make me beg to show him off, Kim's got a new beau too and won't have time. When was the last time you went to a baseball game?" Becky urged, wanting to show her man off now she was sure she wouldn't get a brush-off.

"Um, never," Willow replied with a single nod of her head, "For a reason."

"I wouldn't mind going to a game," Tara interjected, "I've always wanted to see Fenway Park."

Willow looked up at Tara, then shrugged.

"Alright, if the missus says it's a go, then it's a go."

"Awesome, wait 'til you see his biceps," Becky replied, almost growling as her eyes flashed to some memory, "I need to lie down just thinking about them. See you two later."

They all waved goodbye and Willow and Tara continued on their way to the shelter. The building looked quite destitute, though had been painted a bright colour to try and make up for it. They went inside and there was a sign directing them to the different outlets; upstairs for accommodation, left for the clothing bank and right for the kitchen.

Mia was standing right in the middle moving between areas, and was over like a shot, though only had eyes for one person.

"Tara!" she exclaimed like all her Christmases had come at once.

She chanced a hug and almost fainted when it was returned, though her smile quickly faltered when she spotted the other person standing next to them.

"You brought Willow."

"Here for duty," Willow replied diligently.

"More hands," Tara added.

"Uh huh," Mia replied, trying not to show her disdain, "Hey, Tara I was just about to start in the kitchen for the lunch time rush. Help out?"

Tara nodded but Willow still wasn't sure how to help.

"What can I do?"

Mia tossed her hands in the direction of a stack of white plastic bags, all of which seemed full.

"Those bags over there," she said, a hint of a smirk playing on her lips, "They all need to be taken out and folded."

"On it!" Willow replied, already scurrying over.

She noticed the bags already had labels on them, but didn't think much of it and started to open one. She picked it up and was about to upturn it, when a middle-aged man with age lines and a kind smile approached with his hands held up.

"Whoa, girlie!" he said, closing his hand over hers to stop her from going any further, "Whatcha' doin' there?"

"Sorting the clothes," Willow replied, feeling oddly like she was being chastised.

"Those bags have been sorted, ready to go. You don't want to go messing these up," the man replied, setting the bag down gently and pointing to the opposite corner, "You must have meant these ones."

Willow frowned; Mia had definitely pointed to the ones she was at. She glanced over and saw her laughing with her girlfriend, but wasn't close enough to see the sneaky touches coming from one party. She shrugged.

"Right, okay. Sorry, I must have misunderstood."

The man waved it off.

"No harm done. Newbie?"

Willow shoved her hands in her pockets and nodded.

"Yeah, first time."

The man guided her over to the as-yet unsorted clothes and showed her how they sorted them by size first.

"I'm Ernie, been running this place 20 years. How'd ya hear 'bout us?"

"Um, Mia told us," Willow replied, picking up a bag for herself to get on with.

"Oh yeah? She's a good girl," Ernie replied with a fond smile, "Maybe when she's a star some day we can say we knew her way back when."

Willow's brow furrowed.

"Star?"

"With the acting," Ernie explained.

"Oh, right," Willow replied, scratching her head, "It's probably a little early to be calling that."

"Well not many theatre students are offered a leading role in an off-campus stage show," Ernie said with a puffed-out chest like the proud mentor he was, "And I'm sure she'll get another offer this year too."

Willow stilled a moment.

"Theatre student?"

"Down at Boston College," Ernie said idly, then got a call to come help in the kitchen, "Can I leave you with these?"

"Um, yeah," Willow replied, though was distracted.

_Why would a theatre student be doing an introduction course in junior year?_

She was utterly confused, but didn't want to be seen as not pulling her weight after her earlier mishap, so focused on getting the donated clothes ready to display.

As much of a mess her closet was at home, she quite enjoyed the order and neatness of sorting. She hummed 'Heigh-Ho' quietly and found herself glancing over at Tara quite a lot.

Though her spidey senses were up about Mia, she wasn't thinking anywhere in the jealousy realm yet – all she was thinking now was how Tara had been so neglected that she'd had to resort to a place like this.

It was nice, but the clothes were old and dusty and the same stale smell emanated from the kitchen.

_Never again. I'll make sure she's warm and fed and loved._

She glanced over again and saw her girlfriend had moved to a table and was conversing with an elderly lady in a tattered jacket with a toothless smile. Both were laughing.

_So beautiful. So kind._

Tara seemed to sense eyes on her and looked over, offering a sly wink. Willow's cheeks flushed and a smile lit up her face.

She started to hum a bit louder as she worked.

As the sun began to hide away from the windows, her eyes were starting to turn blurry from the hours of looking at clothes tags. She admittedly felt a little heart ache from not being able to be close to Tara, though hearing her laugh filter over every so often certainly helped.

"You're certainly a trooper," Ernie's voice came as he came over to inspect, "People normally only last an hour or two in here. It gets pretty hot messed up with all the clothes."

Willow rubbed her eyes and tied the last string on the bag.

"I wanted to help," she replied, then reached for her wallet and took out a fifty, "Can I give this to you? As a donation? Or is there a box or something?"

Ernie took it and folded it into his breast pocket.

"Very kind of you."

"Very kind of _you_, running this place," Willow replied with an easy smile, "Wish I could do more. Me and Tara will come back. I mean, I haven't talked to her, but we'll make sure we help out."

Ernie nodded in Tara's direction.

"Tara, that Mia's new girlfriend?"

Willow frowned, though was too tired to read too much into it.

"No, she's my girlfriend."

"My apologies," Ernie replied, clearing his throat, "This old brain gets things muddled. Thanks again for all your help."

Willow just shook her head and Ernie departed. Willow walked over to where Mia and Tara were wiping down the tables.

"Can I help?"

Tara folded a dish cloth and smiled.

"Just finished. I haven't seen you all day."

"There was _a lot_ of clothes," Willow replied, thinking she'd never complain about her own laundry again.

"Oh, baby, I'll massage your hands later," Tara replied, taking one hand and giving her a quick one then and there.

"You're lucky you have functioning hands and not frostbitten ones," Mia retorted.

Willow straightened up and cleared her throat.

"Yeah, I am. Didn't mean…um, well if I can do anything else to help, I will."

"Everything's finished for the night," Mia replied begrudgingly, though was delighted with how the day had gone.

She was sure she'd shared a bond of sharing with Tara that would serve her well in her quest to win her heart. She was already positive she'd picked up on some (non-existing) signals and flirty looks.

Had she been Willow, she would have marvelled at how intensely the brain can convince you of things that aren't real.

"Guess we'll head out then," Tara replied, keeping her hand in Willow's, "Think we could still catch that movie you wanted?"

"Yeah!" Willow replied, her face lighting up, "I'd love to."

They smiled at each other at a moment, then Tara seemed to remember they weren't the only ones there.

"So thanks for telling us about this place, Mia. We'll come back."

"Uh huh, definitely," Willow agreed, "Maybe I could try ladling next time."

Tara squeezed her hand and smiled, then waved and headed for the door, Willow by her side.

Mia waved and clenched her teeth, blaming Willow directly for not getting a goodbye hug. If it was the last thing she did, she'd find a way to get her out of the picture.

"Mmmhh, the cool air is nice," Tara commented as they happily strolled along the sidewalk.

"Do you want my sweater?" Willow asked, but Tara shook her head, the dimming sun catching her face in such a way that cast her with a halo, "You're an angel, you know that?"

Tara's cheeks flushed lightly and she cast her gaze down but was smiling.

"Were you bored today? You were all by yourself."

Willow shrugged one shoulder.

"It was okay once I got into it. You seemed like you had fun."

Tara nodded.

"The patrons were really nice. So was Mia."

Willow kicked a stone under her shoe.

"Yeah…"

Tara noticed the tone of voice and moved her arm around Willow's waist.

"What's up, buttercup?"

Willow couldn't help but smile.

"Nothing. Just a bad…vibe, I guess. I don't think she wants to be friends with me as much as she wants to be friends with you."

Tara realised then Willow had in fact been quite outcast for the day and squeezed her hip apologetically.

"Well that's her loss, you're the best."

"Thanks," Willow replied, putting everything out of her mind for now, "Hey, there's the movie theatre. I'll go get us tickets, you get us popcorn."

She took a twenty from her wallet and handed it to her to pay for snacks.

"You sure?" Tara asked, taking the bill.

Willow nodded.

"Uh huh, and get us some candy too, I'm starving."

Tara walked in to the concession stand and bought a large popcorn and drink for them to share, plus a box of raisinets and twizzlers.

"Yum, my favourites," Willow said, coming up behind her and grabbing a handful of popcorn, "'oodimingartseninute."

"It starts in ten minutes?" Tara deciphered and got a nod of confirmation, "Wanna go find seats?"

Willow nodded again and they went into the theatre. It was already pretty full but they found two seats together. They left the snacks between them and brushed fingers as they shared them.

Halfway through the movie, Willow successfully pulled off the yawn-and-stretch and proudly kept her arm around Tara's shoulders as a head rested on hers.

_Smooth._

She was quite enjoying the movie and the throwback to her childhood, though wouldn't have objected had Tara wanted to distract her. She made a few attempts to instigate but Tara seemed happy to watch the movie.

A quick look around at the crowded seats around her told her why.

She contented herself with stroking her girlfriend's arm and hearing her giggle. When the movie finished up, Tara stretched back in her seat and smiled.

"That was fun."

"Uh huh," Willow agreed, sneaking a quick peck, "I love when you laugh."

Tara blushed and gathered their trash, then stood. She felt Willow's hand slip into hers as they walked out.

"Sure you don't want my sweater?" Willow asked, the sky now dark and the temperature dropped considerably.

Tara shook her head.

"We're only a few blocks away."

"'Kay, but if I see a shiver…" Willow said, swinging their hands together, "Do you want dinner?"

"I'm full from all those snacks," Tara replied, "I'll just make some toast later…but we can stop if you're hungry."

"Nah, I'm okay," Willow replied, "I have some pop-tarts hidden away, I'll have some later."

"Just when I thought we were getting somewhere with the healthy eating," Tara teased.

"Hey, I've been all with the salad and reduction of fried goods!" Willow replied indignantly, "You'd deny a girl her lonesome pop-tart?"

"'Course not," Tara replied, smiling, "I'm only teasing."

"Oh," Willow said, eyes shining, "Oh, well, I like it when you do that."

"I know you do," Tara replied, lips quirking up on one side.

Willow felt her heart skip a beat and leaned over for an impromptu cheek kiss. Tara blushed and giggled with much the same reaction as they strolled onto campus and back to their dorm.

They spent the evening talking and playing Go Fish when Willow found an old pack of cards, then settled into quietness as they got into bed. Tara was reading and Willow had her laptop atop her.

"Hey, Tara…something fishy is up…" she said, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" Tara asked, keeping her focus on her book.

Willow sat up straighter.

"Um, well, the guy in the shelter said something about Mia being a theatre major and about being in a show and I looked it up and she was! She was the lead in a show in the theatre district last year!"

Tara gave a quick glance over her shoulder.

"Maybe she wanted to brush up on basic skills or something, or maybe she never did the academic side of it."

Willow frowned.

"But… it's weird. Why now?"

Tara sighed and closed her book, then turned over to face her girlfriend.

"Willow, I'm sure she has a good reason for doing the class. One that's none of our business," she replied, though could still see the wheels turning in Willow's mind, "Please don't get obsessive about this. It's just a college class. Let it go."

Willow opened her mouth to protest but saw the look on Tara's face and quickly closed it again.

"Okay, okay, I guess I'm being pretty nosy," she replied, closing her laptop, "I'll forget about it. But it's weird."

"A lot of people call us weird," Tara reasoned, "Willow, really. Don't go snooping."

Willow's shoulders tensed.

"I'm not gonna…" she started, face furrowed, "Do what I did before."

"You're not going to try and look up her school records or something?" Tara asked.

Willow's face turned to guilt.

"I was," she admitted, then quickly added, "But I won't now. I get it, okay? I…I get it. I can't do that stuff. Infringe on people's privacy. It's just so hard, it's all at my fingertips."

Tara gently brushed her fingers against Willow's upper arm.

"Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should."

Willow nodded, accepting that.

"I won't. I promise."

Tara smiled; that was enough for her. She turned again so she could curl into Willow's body and sighed happily.

"You're warm."

"Too warm?" Willow asked.

Tara shook her head.

"Uh uh, nice and warm."

Willow put her hand over Tara's waist and squeezed her hip.

"I love you, Tara."

Tara moved her head under Willow's chin and cuddled in.

"I love you, too, Willow."

Willow let those words sink into her heart as she closed her eyes to settle into sleep, happy again.

Nothing could come between her and Tara.


	38. Chapter 38

**Queenphoenix08** – She is annoying. I think it's fair to say she has a bit of a superiority complex from being an accomplished student and as far as she's concerned the only thing standing between her and Tara is Willow – when actually it's Tara not wanting to be with her. As for the background check, Willow *wants* to, but she's told Tara she won't, so that's a sealed promise for her.

**Curly Akemy** – She'd never want to do something like that, would she? ;)

**Dirty Tube Socks **– It'll get through to her, but not the easy way…

I think Willow finds anything 'maternal' just wonderful, which, you're right, is funny and sad.

You know, I purposely left that vague. I don't think she's telling people that, but I don't think she's denying it either. She has to be careful, because she needs to keep Tara on-side.

**Stephen PG** – Ha! Sanity Fair, I love it. I think Mia views Tara saying things like that as just another example of Willow being the problem. If she can push Willow out, Tara will be hers for the taken. Nothing could be further from the truth, of course, but as I said to someone above, she's definitely a narcissist, but one of those clever ones who know to portray herself well and manipulate situations - she's a rising star in the acting world don't forget!

* * *

"Do you have any idea what's happening?"

Willow was slumped in the little plastic seat at the ball park, bored out of her mind. Tara, on the other hand, was proudly wearing a baseball cap and seemed quite intrigued with whatever was going on, on the field. Becky was just continuously fanning herself and making lewd comments under her breath.

"That guy throws the ball to that guy and he hits it and then the other guys try to catch it," Tara explained, pointing out the different people as she spoke.

Willow knew the premise but was still at a loss how it managed to be so boring.

"For three hours?" she asked in a whine.

Tara nodded, smiling.

"Looks like it."

Willow huffed a breath of annoyance and stood up.

"I'm getting a hot dog. Do you guys want anything?"

Tara shook her head and Becky requested a hot dog as well. Willow shuffled through the people in the aisle to get out to the concession stand and take a break from the screaming fans and sloshing sound of beer.

She joined the longest queue on purpose and let a few people go ahead of her, before finally placing her order and bringing the two hot dogs back to their seats.

Becky took hers, her eyes twinkling.

"This'll keep me going 'til later and I can get my mouth around something better."

Willow shot Becky a dirty look, then threw her hot dog on the ground petulantly.

"Ruining everything for me."

Tara turned her attention away from the game and looked between them, as she was sitting in the middle.

"Hmm?"

"You don't want to know," Willow muttered, arms crossed on her chest.

Tara sat back and took Willow's hand in her lap.

"Are you having a horrible time?"

Willow knew she was being a grump and gestured out towards the field.

"I just don't get it."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"Me either, really. Just that we cheer when the guys in white do something good," she replied with a soft, crooked smile, "It's fun to be in a crowd."

Willow couldn't help falling in love with that smile and sat up.

"Okay, explain to me one more time."

Tara pointed out to the guy pitching.

"Well that guy there is Becky's boyfriend."

"Yeah, I've definitely got that one figured," Willow replied, casting a look at Becky who was shouting down to him every few minutes, "Although they all just look like tiny little men with helmets – how are we supposed to tell who's who or what anyone looks like?"

"He's the guy throwing the ball..." Tara explained, "The guy with the bat hits it and tries to run around all the um, bases, I think, the little white things that the other guys are standing on. And he does that without getting disqualified or something. And that seems to be able to happen a lot of ways, I'm not really sure."

"Okay," Willow nodded, "What are innings?"

"No idea," Tara replied promptly.

Willow laughed, then looked over her to Becky.

"Becky, can you please explain it to us?"

Becky slowly detracted her oversized-sunglass-covered eyes away from her boyfriend's buttocks and tried to explain as quickly as she could so she could get back to it.

"Okay, one team is out and the other is in. The one that's in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn't count. If they get in before they get out it does count. When the ones out get three outs from the ones in before they get in without being out, the team that's out comes in and the team in goes out to get those going in out before they get in without being out. When both teams have been in and out nine times the game is over. The team with the most in without being out before coming in wins unless the ones in are equal. In which case, the last ones in go out to get the ones in out before they get in without being out. The game will end when each team has the same number of ins out but one team has more in without being out before coming in."

"Right," Willow replied, not understanding a word and looked back to Tara, "So we cheer when the guys in white do good?"

"Yes," Tara nodded diligently, "And we'll know when that is when all these other guys stand up and yell obscenities."

Willow looked around at the other spectators and nodded.

"For once, I prefer knowing less," she replied, then smiled over at Tara, "You look super cute in that cap."

Tara pointed out to the field where the mascots had taken over for a brief break.

"As cute as them?"

"Cuter!" Willow replied, smiling and laughing.

Tara laughed too and spent a moment with follow-up chuckles, until she noticed everyone around them seemed to be staring at them.

She wasn't sure what their sudden appeal was, until Becky nudged her and pointed to the Jumbotron where the Kiss Cam was on and focused on Willow and the man next to her.

The man in question had a baseball shirt stretched out over his generous beer gut and sweat patches in some inopportune places. He set off the look with a lecherous leer in Willow's direction and started to lean towards her.

"Yeuch!" Willow exclaimed, jumping right back in her seat then quickly turning to take Tara's lips instead.

There was a brief moment of complete silence around the stadium before Becky began whooping for them and the rest followed.

"Mwah," Willow pulled away from a quite surprised Tara.

The Kiss Cam had moved on to another unsuspecting couple.

"I-I thought that only happened on TV," Tara stammered, cheeks flushing bright red.

"It was on TV," Becky chuckled, "A big one."

"I'm sorry, Tara, did I embarrass you?" Willow asked, but Tara was smiling like a giddy school girl and shook her head, "Okay good."

She held Tara's hand between the seats and did her best to enjoy the rest of the game. She wasn't sure she'd ever be a fan but appreciated the play and Tara's cheerful reactions to being involved in the crowd.

Much to the delight of most of the stadium, and particularly Becky, the home team won in the final inning with a home run by her friend's boyfriend, or so Willow was told by the delighted shrieks of her ex-roommate.

Willow watched Tara happily clapping, caught up in the moment, and couldn't resist standing with her and hugging her from behind.

"You're so cute."

Tara blushed and leaned back against her.

"We won."

"Woo, go team!" Willow replied, pumping a fist in the air triumphantly, more for show than anything else.

The mascots were back on the empty field doing a dance of victory and Willow was watching in amusement before she noticed Becky was climbing over the seats in that direction.

"Becky, what are you doing?"

"Luke said we could meet the team," she called back over her shoulder, producing a plastic access card from under her shirt that was hanging around her neck, "You guys can come too."

Willow looked to Tara, who shrugged, so she took her girlfriend's hand and followed Becky down the more traditional route of steps and towards a separate tunnel route that some minor press outlets were gathered at.

She expected to wait with them, but Becky seemed keen on dragging them towards the locker room.

"Uh, shouldn't we just wait outside?" Willow asked cagily.

"Come on," Becky replied, indicating it was okay.

Willow cast a wary glance in Tara's direction and trailed behind Becky into the locker room, which was filled with whooping, hollering, and half-naked men.

Willow lasted about 10 seconds of trying to avert her eyes until towels started to come off and she made a hasty exit, Tara in tow.

Becky spotted her beau and walked right up, hands flat on his pronounced pecs.

"Hey, baby, you were so good out there."

She stood up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"Well I knew I had my girl in the stands," he replied, running a hand through his slick hair.

Becky smiled coyly and pursed her lips.

"I brought my friends," she said, turning around only to see them gone, causing her to roll her eyes, "Guess the male nudity got too much for them."

Outside, Willow was grateful for a wall to slump against and let her head fall forward into her hands.

"Well if I wasn't sure I was gay…definitely confirmed it."

"You weren't sure?" Tara asked, arms crossed loosely over her chest.

Willow lifted her head, brow creased.

"No, of course I–" she started, then waved it off, "Silly joke."

They stood awkwardly around for a moment before Willow exhaled a slow breath.

"Wanna show me your boobs to get a better image in my head?"

Tara cheeks flushed lightly and she looked around.

"There's nowhere private."

Willow's eyebrow quirked in surprise and she cautiously nodded off to the side.

"…there's a bathroom."

Tara looked over, then gave a soft shrug. Willow's eyes went wide that her flippant remark was taken seriously but didn't waste a second in following Tara through a nearby door marked as the restroom.

Tara cast her eyes down on the ground as the door shut behind them, then back up at Willow.

"Someone might come in."

"Stall?" Willow suggested, sure she was past pushing her luck at this stage.

Tara shrugged again and moved towards the end stall. Willow shot a look up of thanks to whichever deity was granting her this and followed, squeezing into the small cubicle with her girlfriend.

Tara toyed with the end of her shirt for a moment.

"You won't tell anyone about this, will you?"

Willow shook her head.

"You don't have to do anything."

Tara turned her hands around themselves once, then started to unbutton her shirt upwards.

Willow's eyes fell down to watch and she gently bit her bottom lip as she watched Tara's skin come into view under the blinking, florescent lights. She looked up for permission to touch and her hands came up, once granted.

Tara felt a bit silly having such an encounter in the cramped and grimy space, but let Willow squeeze and mould to her heart's content. She had to admit enjoying it more as passing seconds went by, especially when Willow started to kiss into her neck.

She had almost forgotten where they were when Willow's hand dropped and started to fumble with her pants button.

"Hey," she said, grabbing her wrist to stop her.

Willow pouted.

"I can feel you up in a bathroom but we can't have sex?"

Tara secured her pants button again.

"Maybe if it was a nice bathroom."

"This isn't a nice bathroom?" Willow asked with playful sarcasm.

Tara looked around once, then shook her head.

"I don't like the tile."

Willow could only smile and leaned in for a kiss, but was disturbed right as she was about to close by her cell phone buzzing in her pocket. She sighed and plucked it out to answer it.

"Hello. Uh, no. In the bathroom. No, not throwing up, but it was close. Um…do you want us to? Uh, alright. Okay, we'll be right out," she spoke into the phone, then hung up, "The team all go for drinks after the game…Becky wants us to come and meet Luke."

Tara nodded once.

"Oh. Okay."

"I know, bar = yucky. We don't have to stay long," Willow reassured, then couldn't resist looking down, "Thanks for the, uh, view."

Tara blushed and started to button herself up to decency again, pushing out of the stall to check her appearance in the mirror.

Willow leaned against the wall and waited patiently, then opened the door for them to head out. She spotted Becky a few feet away with a tall man, gym bag at his feet, and made her way over, but stopped dead in her tracks when she recognised the face as it came into view.

"Lucas."

Lucas was holding a baseball bat behind his neck and was using it to stretch from side to side, but stilled immediately upon the same realisation.

"Willow," he said, in as much shock, then looked to Tara, "Willow's girlfriend."

"Lucas?" Becky asked, smiling fondly, "I didn't know Luke was short for…wait, how the hell did you know? You guys know each other?"

Lucas looked completely panic-stricken and Willow wasn't faring much better.

"Uh…we…did photography class together," she eventually answered, "In the summer."

"Oh, cool," Becky replied, smiling, "Well then I don't need to do some big introduction. The team bus is waiting for us, we better go."

Willow watched as Becky dragged Lucas off and had no choice but to follow.

"Are you gonna tell–" Tara tried to ask in a whisper as they loaded onto the bus but Willow began wildly shaking her head before she could finish.

"Ssshh!"

Tara felt herself shoved into a seat in the minibus before she could respond, face up against the window as everyone tried to squeeze on.

Willow got pushed a few seats down in the next row but was instantly contrite at how dismissive she'd been.

"Tara," she tried to garner her girlfriend's attention, "Tara…"

She dodged some muscled arms and bags being tossed around, before finally meeting Tara's eye and mouthed 'I'm sorry'.

Tara considered it for a moment, then nodded to indicate she accepted it and tried to reach her hand out to squeeze Willow's.

They couldn't quite make the reach, so Willow fixed her gaze on the burly guy sitting beside Tara.

"Wanna swap seats?"

The guy looked her, or at least what he could see, up and down, then grinned.

"Wanna go out? Get some food?"

Tara shook her head to herself and rolled her eyes, but Willow stayed calm.

"How about I take your seat and you keep your dinner and we'll call it even?"

"Sounds good to me," he replied, smirking as they swapped seats, before realising too late he'd been played and spun back around in the seat, "Hey…"

Willow was too busy cradling Tara's hand in her lap to pay him any attention.

"I'm sorry I was such a jerky-jerk. But big, mega panic, you know? What the hell do I do now?"

Tara lifted her other hand to brush some hair from Willow's brow.

"Talk to Lucas…Luke?"

"Where? How? Say what?" Willow asked in a panic, keeping her voice low.

"I don't know," Tara replied, at as much at a loss about the situation they found themselves in.

Willow dropped her head into her hands.

"This is a nightmare."

Tara rubbed Willow's back to offer some comfort and noticed Lucas was staring at them from across the bus while trying to keep up with whatever animated conversation Becky was trying to have with him.

She kept her focus on Willow so as not to arouse any more suspicion and make the situation worse.

The bus was bouncing under the weight of all the players, as well as some of the accompanying girlfriends, only making Willow's nausea worsen. She was one of the first out when it finally pulled up along a row of bars and the last to follow the cheering crowd into the nearest, seediest one.

"Great," Willow said as she and Tara slowly followed, "Look at this place, it's disgusting."

Tara wasn't any more enthused by the place than Willow and kept close to her to avoid bumping into anything.

"I-I don't want to spend the night here."

Willow's concern instantly went from the situation at hand to Tara's discomfort and she took her hand to assure her.

"I know, baby, we won't. I'll get us out of this, okay?"

She started to look around to find Becky, but they were found first.

"Guys, come sit."

"Um, Becky, we're not sure–" Willow started but was all but dragged into a booth in the corner.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Water," Willow answered for both of them, "No, wait, we–"

Becky went off to tell Lucas their orders, then returned with a big grin on her face.

"He's so hot, right?"

"Not really, our, um, field of expertise, Beck," Willow answered with a nervous chuckle.

"He's so dreamy," Becky replied, completely smitten, "And arty too! Was he a good photographer? I bet he was great."

"I, um, I'm not sure I ever saw any of his," Willow replied neutrally, before tacking on quickly, "Photos, I mean!"

"Alright, jumpy," Becky replied with a laugh, "So it's cool you guys know each other. Did you meet him too, Tara?"

Tara opened and closed her mouth.

"Um…once," she said eventually, toying with her fingers in front of her.

"Did you know he played baseball?" Becky asked, casting a look behind to catch another glimpse of her boyfriend.

Willow shook her head.

"No…we, uh…no."

Lucas hesitantly approached them and put the tray of drinks down on the table.

"They're telling me about meeting you," Becky said, her teasing tone instantly making Lucas pale.

"Aw shit, you told her?"

Tara closed her eyes and Willow dropped her head against the table, while Becky looked between the three of them in confusion.

"Told me…what?" she asked, her eyebrow lifting as she picked up the vibe between them, "What the hell is going on between you guys?"

Lucas swore under his breath and hung his head.

"We, uh…had a misunderstanding."

"What, you guys had a fight?" Becky asked, utterly confused and annoyed as she watched more looks pass between them, "Somebody needs to tell me what's going on right now."

Lucas slumped and Willow exhaled a slow breath.

"Well, um…he kinda tried to, um…make a move on me. Naked."

Becky's brow creased for a moment, before her head suddenly flew towards Lucas.

"You used The Naked Man on her?!"

"The what?" Tara asked, as perplexed as Willow seemed to be.

"It's a move he uses to try and get girls into bed," Becky replied with a scoff, "I knew I wasn't the first but god, my best friend?!"

"My cousin Barney taught me. Works two out of three times," Lucas said in an attempt of defence, before adding on meekly as he looked to Willow, "You were the third."

Willow's face contorted in disgust, while Becky's had turned to rage.

"I cannot believe you've seen my boyfriend's junk."

"It wasn't willingly!" Willow protested, not a fan of the look she was being given.

Becky threw her hands out in front of her.

"It's still NOT okay!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Willow shot back, "You had no problem with us being in the locker rooms!"

"Yeah, well!" Becky came back with, lamely but with just as much gusto.

"It was a stupid misunderstanding," Lucas tried to intervene.

"Y-yeah, let's not fight," Tara added on.

"Shut up, Tara," Becky spat out.

Though had the decency to look instantly apologetic, Willow was already incensed and on her feet.

"You've done a lot of stupid stuff since I've known you but you don't get to EVER disrespect my girlfriend!" she all but yelled, causing the whole bar to still into silence as she grabbed Tara's hand, "Come on."

She marched them out and slammed the door for effect.

"I swear, if she ever even _looks_ at you again…!"

Tara stayed quiet, opting not to engage when Willow was so mad. They walked in silence for a while, Willow clearly having an internal conversation with herself.

"Like, what, is she insinuating something happened?" she asked, calmer but still mad, "Because that's just insulting on so many levels."

"I-I think it just surprised her, Willow," Tara replied cautiously, "I-It sort of looked like we were trying to cover it up."

"Because we agreed to forget it happened!" Willow replied, throwing her hands in the air.

"Okay, but…" Tara started, unsure whether she should continue the conversation at all, "What if Becky had walked in on me naked? Would you be very happy?"

Willow crossed her arms over her chest and scoffed.

"She already did!"

Tara shifted uncomfortably and pulled at the ends of her sleeves.

"You promised she didn't see anything."

"She certainly did not, I covered–" Willow started to retort, before realising what Tara was saying, "Okay, I get it. Different."

"And it must be worrying…shocking maybe," Tara tried to reason, hating her girlfriend being so angry at anyone, especially her best friend, "Lucas clearly had a thing for you, at least at first. I-I would have been…I mean, I would have had questions when we were first dating and I found out you'd had a thing with Becky."

"There was no thing!" Willow replied, exasperated.

Tara moved behind Willow as they walked, gently massaging her shoulders.

"I know, baby. But just…think about it for a second."

Willow couldn't help but feel calmed both by the touch and pet name. She closed her eyes and after a few moments let out a sigh.

"Stop making me feel like I'm the one who acted wrong here," she said, though her tone was already resigned, "I am, aren't I?"

"I don't think anyone did too well," Tara replied softly and felt Willow slouch with a sigh, "It's okay. We'll just let things settle. Go home and have a nice evening and sort things out in the morning when everyone's had a chance to calm down."

Willow nodded once and took Tara's hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Yeah. Okay. You're right. Things will be better in the morning."

* * *

Willow lay on her stomach on the bed and flicked through her chemistry notes, her assortment of different coloured pens ready to highlight as necessary.

"Okay, I'm going," Tara said, coming from the bathroom as she hooked an earring through her ear and smiled when she saw what Willow was doing, "You're so cute."

Willow looked up from the bed.

"Does cute mean insane?"

Tara just smiled.

"Let's go with quirky."

Willow watched her girlfriend move around the room and gather some things into her satchel.

"You look happy."

"Yeah, it's cool learning the play," Tara replied with a little hum, "Mia's funny."

Willow felt that settle oddly over her but shook it off.

"Well, have fun."

"I will," Tara replied, then blew a kiss as she headed towards the door, "Bye. Love you."

Willow gave a weak wave and stared at the closed door for a couple of moments before shaking her head and concentrating back on her notes. A while passed before she heard a knock on the door and jumped up, expecting it to be Tara.

She had a smile ready to offer her girlfriend, secretly thankful she was back, but it faltered when she saw Becky standing there instead.

"Hi," she greeted in a shaky tone, unsure what was to come.

"Hey," Becky replied, hands shoved in her pockets, "Can I come in?"

Willow thought about it for a moment, then stood aside to let her in. Becky walked inside and there was a few moments lull of awkward silence before she spoke.

"So…I know nothing went on," she said, still shaking her head at the absurdity of the situation, "Just, wow."

Willow could agree with that.

"Yeah, well…for me too."

"Can't really blame Luke…Lucas. You are pretty hot," Becky continued, her form of an apology, "And he's really nice."

"Um, well…" Willow replied, leaving out any additional sounds of hesitation, "You've dated worse guys."

"I know, he has an ego," Becky replied, though truth be told that was something that attracted him to her, "But he can be really sweet."

Willow thought about that, then nodded.

"He gave me and Tara a lift when we really needed one," she said, something she was still very grateful for, "Are you guys, uh…"

"Yeah, we're okay. It's not like you're a threat," Becky replied with a laugh, though seemed to realise quickly how that could sound, "I didn't mean that in a–"

"It's okay, I get it. I'm definitely not of the threatening," Willow cut her off, cracking a smile, "And there is total brain-blockage on…anything. Everything."

Becky felt the air of tension between them lift and grinned.

"You know it's only fair that I get to see Tara's boobs."

Willow's eyes widened, followed by her mouth dropping open and she spluttered over her words for a few moments before noting the laughs Becky wasn't able to contain.

"Okay, good one. You got me there."

"I thought steam was about to come out of your ears," Becky replied, almost bent over with laughter.

"Please don't say that to her," Willow pleaded, knowing how it would upset her girlfriend.

"I won't," Becky replied, serious again now, "Man, do I feel bad about telling her to shut up. She looked like she might start crying."

Willow gave a short nod.

"She's sensitive about that stuff."

"I'll say sorry," Becky replied, solemn, "Like, you know, and mean it. Where is she?"

Willow sunk down to sit on the bed.

"Running lines with one of her friends from theatre class."

Becky leaned back against the desk and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You don't seem too happy about that."

"Huh?" Willow asked, flushing that she'd been caught out, "No, it's fine…the friend is just a little weird."

Becky nodded for her to continue.

"Weird like how?"

Willow shrugged.

"Like doing an intro class as a junior when it's her major…like always sitting beside Tara in class…like trying to get rid of me when they're together, kinda weird."

Becky's eyebrow quirked.

"What does Tara say?"

"To stop prying," Willow answered, head down as if she'd been scolded.

Becky's second eyebrow joined her first.

"…are you sure they're just running lines?"

Willow looked like she'd been punched in the chest.

"Of course, of course they are!"

"How was she when she was leaving?" Becky asked, unconvinced.

"She was…excited," Willow replied, eyes darting around, "But it's her first real friend!"

"Apart from you," Becky countered.

Willow shook her head furiously.

"I'm her girlfriend."

Becky shrugged.

"Not at first you weren't."

Willow's bottom lip started to tremble.

"Tara wouldn't do that to me."

It only took Becky a second to really think about what she was saying. She blinked once, then laughed.

"Yeah, you're totally right," she said, shaking her head that she would even think that given how close she knew her two friends were, "Well, Luke is taking me down to Rhode Island for the day. I better go."

It took Willow a moment to register Becky had said something and she had to make a quick wipe for her eyes.

"Have a good day," she said, hollow.

"I will," Becky replied, too happy that they'd resolved their tiff to notice she'd initiated a whole new set of problems, "Later gator."

Willow offered a weak wave as Becky practically skipped out, eager for her romantic day now that things had been sorted out. She walked out the main door and shot a quick thanks to whoever was holding it for her, before realising that she knew that face.

"Tara," she said, skidding back, "Tara, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Tara smiled easily.

"That's okay," she said, not one to hold a grudge, "Did you and Willow…?"

"All sorted," Becky smiled, "And me and Luke too, or, Lucas, I don't even know what to call him. Anyway, yeah…everything is good."

"Good," Tara replied, delighted Willow wouldn't have the anguish of the fight on her shoulders any longer, "Have a good day."

"You too!" Becky replied, cheerful and she waved and skipped off.

Tara turned down the hallway and came back into the room. Willow instantly jumped up, some of her papers flying to the floor in the process.

"Hey…um, how was it?"

"Good," Tara replied with a smile that looked a bit too big for Willow's liking.

She bent down to help gather the papers up and Willow did the same.

"Whatcha do?"

"Just read through lines and stuff," Tara replied, handing Willow the collection.

"Stuff?" Willow asked, her pitch rising.

"Uh huh," Tara replied, leaving her satchel down, then came over and pressed some kisses against Willow's cheek, "Hello, cutie. Or is it quirky now?"

Willow smiled and felt her heart lift a little as arms wrapped around her.

_She loves me…she really does love me._

_…doesn't she?_


	39. Chapter 39

**tjwiltshire** – Stuff. Then some more stuff. Then _stuffffff._

**Willara4ever** – Glad you liked it :) There's a little more upset, but they'll definitely figure everything out!

**Queenphoenix08** – Willow definitely has no reason to doubt Tara, but those niggling insecurities are hard to ignore sometimes. And you are right on the money, Mia is not good news!

**CurlyAkemy** – Hehe, glad you liked the reference :)

**StephenPG** – She has a minor role, but it ends up being a pivotal moment, so you're definitely on the right track. It should happen next chapter. Of course she does, and Willow will know that again…but has to learn the lesson first.

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I'll remember that.

I'm not very good at sports, but I'll cheer super loud!

Doubt is heartbreaking.

Then you're not going to like this one…

* * *

Willow idly moved a paintbrush up and down on the piece of set design she'd been designated.

Though thankful she only had to work with one colour and no intricate design, she had spent most of the class eyeing Mia and Tara across the theatre, sitting close and practicing their lines.

"Whoa, yo, you're coming into my part!"

Willow spun around at the sound of an annoyed female voice and dropped her paintbrush when she saw she'd caused a smudge.

"Sorry, sorry!"

The girl next to her shot her a scathing look and worked on fixing the blemish. Willow abandoned her brush and sat pouting for a moment before disappearing behind the stage curtain to hide away.

She dragged her book bag from the back of the stage and retrieved a book to read, making sure to shield herself behind the mass of curtains so the professor wouldn't catch her out. She read for a little while but found herself distracted, so took out her journal instead and started to write.

Just as she picked up the pen, she heard Tara's laugh float over and glanced up to see Mia squeezing her girlfriend's arm.

Her heart sank as her pen hit the paper.

_**Are you really mine? Because I'm really yours.**_

She continued to write until she heard the clack of the professor's heels on the stage and hurried to stuff her things into her book bag, the zip not quite closing fully in her haste.

"Class dismissed. Everyone have their textbooks next class."

Willow tossed her bag over her shoulder and approached the group of students Tara was with.

"Hello, gorgeous," Tara greeted, instantly slipping their hands together.

The group disbanded and everyone waved off, but Mia stayed close by Tara.

"How's the set painting going?" Tara asked.

"Um, it's going," Willow replied, her heart less than in it.

Tara was about to reply but Mia caught her attention.

"Hey Tara, do you want to come to my dorm and go over our lines some more?"

Willow's jaw set in annoyance, but she was pleasantly surprised by Tara's response.

"Oh, I have plans with Willow."

"You do?" Willow asked, heart lifting.

"Uh huh, a surprise," Tara replied, offering Willow a smile before giving a pleasant but lesser one to Mia, "Maybe tomorrow?"

Mia nodded quietly, disappointed.

"Sure, okay."

"Okay, bye," Tara replied with a wave, spinning around and taking Willow with her.

Willow was so busy bouncing giddily on her feet she didn't notice the quiet thud of something falling behind her.

"What's my surprise, what's my surprise?" she asked as Tara walked them out of the theatre and out onto campus.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be one," Tara replied with a playful swing of their hands, "Set designing's really not your thing, huh? I saw the look on your face. I wish you had a role with me."

"You do?" Willow repeated hopefully.

"Of course," Tara replied with a warm smile, "Everyone's really nice but you're always my favourite person."

Willow closed her eyes and smiled, but it faltered. She couldn't stand all the doubts building up.

"Tara?"

Tara looked over, eyes softly creased and shining affectionately.

"Yes, my love?"

Willow felt herself melt under that gaze.

"I'm–"

_Insecure, untrusting, a coward._

"Really excited about my surprise."

"Good," Tara replied, smiling as they walked into their building, "I hope it's still okay."

She stopped outside their door, covering Willow's eyes with her hands from behind.

"Eyes closed?"

"Promise," Willow replied.

Tara kept one hand over Willow's eyes and used the other to fish for the key and open the door. She awkwardly shuffled them inside and closed the door again, then took her hand away.

"Ta da!"

Willow blinked once and stared at the scene in front of her.

The bed had been stripped of their normal sheets and covered with a lighter blanket, stretched to each corner. A book crate was sitting on top, but each side had been covered with a piece of paper stylised to resemble a picnic basket. Willow could see a variety of snagged cafeteria food inside.

"It's our eight month anniversary," Tara said sheepishly when Willow said nothing, "I know it's not a 'special' one, but I saw the date yesterday and just thought…"

Willow slowly turned to Tara and smiled.

"You're so sweet."

Tara looked bashful, then went over to the nightstand where she'd put a couple of candles.

"Can't forget the candles."

She lit two of them, then sat on the bed with her legs folded under her. She patted the spot beside her.

Willow went over and sat with her legs hanging over the bed as she looked in on their goodies.

"Wow, you got the good sandwiches."

Tara's lips quirked up on one side.

"I know people in high places."

Willow tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Tara?"

"Yeah?"

_I'm worried._

"Um…"

_And I can't ruin this._

"Love you," she answered eventually, meaning it.

"I love you too," Tara replied with a quick kiss to Willow's cheek, "Chicken salad or turkey club?"

Willow took one of the sandwiches offered.

"Chicken salad. Thanks."

She finally managed a smile and thought about the effort Tara had gone through to set their little picnic up. She ate her fair share of what Tara had foraged for them as they chatted over the food, but there was still more left than they could fit in the mini-fridge.

"We could put this under the bed," Willow suggested, taking out the fruit to keep, "I like having a stash of food handy. Do you ever wake up at 2am just dying for a pudding cup?"

Tara smiled and shook her head.

"No. But I'll make sure we always have some now."

Willow felt Tara's fingers brush over hers and turned her hand over to squeeze back.

"Thanks for our picnic."

"You're welcome," Tara replied, taking a moment to just look at her girlfriend, "Are you okay?"

Willow nodded, for herself as much as Tara.

"I, um, better do my homework. Lots of lab reports to write up."

Tara nodded too and started to clear away.

"Okay. I have to get to Human Behaviour anyway."

She gave Willow a hug from behind as she passed, then went into the bathroom. Upon returning, she found Willow looking frantically at the upturned contents of her book bag.

"What's wrong, Will?"

Willow flattened her bag against her chest to make sure it was empty and frowned.

"My journal is missing."

"How?" Tara asked, coming over and turning over a few of the books to try and help.

"I've been bringing it to class to kill time," Willow replied, sinking down to sit on the bed, near tears, "I must've dropped it."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Tara replied, knowing how close Willow held the journal to her heart, "Let's go back, try and find it."

Willow threw a hand up haphazardly.

"Your class…"

"It's on the way," Tara replied, tugging Willow up, "C'mon, the faster we look the better."

Willow had one last look through everything, then joined Tara to retrace their steps. They went so far as to look under the seats in the theatre and Tara even dug through the trash in case a passer-by had tossed it in, but only came out with a Cheetos packet stuck to her hand.

"It could be worse," Willow said, shakily, sitting on an outer seat. "My name isn't on it, at least. I tried not to use any names."

_Plus you're all I write about._

"But I could have messed up..."

Tara felt her heart close to breaking at the forlorn look on Willow's face.

"We'll look again."

"It's…gone," Willow replied, quickly wiping at her eyes and berating herself for acting like a baby, "You go to class."

Tara bent down near her and put a hand on the small of her back.

"Honey…"

"I'll keep looking," Willow replied quickly, standing and turning so Tara wouldn't see her, "Really, I don't want you to be late. Go."

Tara hesitated a moment, then adjusted her satchel and left.

Willow looked around herself, then decided to indeed keep looking.

She couldn't give up yet.

She couldn't lose all her thoughts.

All her thoughts about Tara.

Their whole relationship was contained in those pages.

She wasn't sure she believed in signs.

But this wasn't a promising one.

* * *

"Read yours."

Tara took the magazine Mia was offering her and fixed her eyes on the small box of writing.

"Your intuitive abilities have been off lately, but new realisations will give you a fresh chance with a loved one," she rattled off her horoscope much to her amusement and Mia's delight, "Willow always says–"

"Do you want one?" Mia cut Tara off with an offer of a candy before she broached her least favourite subject – Willow.

She glanced at where she'd hidden the journal under her pillow. It had been so perfect. Like a gift from God. Everything was coming together. She was so close. All it would take was a few timely words and she'd be on the home stretch of finally getting her chance with Tara.

It didn't enter her mind for a second that Willow wasn't the only impedance to her desires.

"Thanks," Tara replied, popping the piece of candy into her mouth, then standing up, "I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back."

Mia watched Tara stand and let her eyes cast over her appreciatively as she stretched and then walked out. She spotted where Tara had tossed a sweater onto her bed and suddenly grinned wickedly.

She jumped up and quickly applied a fresh coat of lipstick, then took the sweater and dabbed her lips along the back of the collar, making sure they bore the distinctive lip shape.

She carefully folded it back to the shape it had been in, then got a tissue to her lips and sat down again with just a few seconds to spare before Tara came back through the door.

"Hey, I'm gonna leave. Willow's having a bad couple of days, I want to be there for her."

Mia's face fell.

"Oh. Do you have to?"

"Yeah, I want to be there when she gets back from class," Tara replied, tossing her sweater back on without a second look, "I'll see you in class tomorrow."

Mia reluctantly walked Tara back to the door, and went in for the hug that she'd wormed her way into receiving as often as possible.

Tara thought nothing of it and quickly kissed Mia's cheek.

Willow walked across the common room of the unfamiliar dormitory in search of the room she'd looked up in the school directory.

She wasn't sure what she'd planned to do once she got there.

Just that the thought of Tara being alone with Mia made her sick enough to run out of class early.

_I'll tell her I needed something. Or forgot my key! That's a good one._

She looked at the wall signs to indicate room numbers, but her conscience was nagging at her.

_Or woman up and tell her what's wrong._

She turned the corner, but stopped still when she saw Tara.

With Mia.

Specifically, with her lips pressed to Mia.

She jumped back to hide herself as Tara passed.

Mia watched Tara leave with what could only be described as a love-struck leer, but spotted the bob of red hair before Willow had a chance to run.

A moment of perfection struck again.

"Hello, Willow," she said, voice full of patronising disdain.

Willow stumbled forward in surprise, paler than she'd ever been.

"You just missed Tara," Mia continued, touching her own hair as if it needed fixing, "Probably for the best. Give her some time to…compose herself."

Willow straightened up and lifted her chin defiantly.

"Why would she need to compose herself?"

"We were…a little busy," Mia replied smugly.

"As if," Willow scoffed.

Mia fixed Willow with a steady gaze.

"She kissed me."

Willow faltered but didn't give up.

"I saw. It was just on the cheek," she replied, her voice started to break, "I press my lips against my friends' all the time."

"Sure. Why don't you check out that shirt she has on," Mia replied, her eyes flashing with deviance, "I think I got a little carried away…"

Willow's hands balled into fists by her side.

"Bite me, Mia! I knew something was wrong with you all along!"

"Tara doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with me," Mia retorted, shooting Willow a scathing look up and down, "That's your department."

Willow opened her mouth to attempt some kind of witty response, but her bottom lip just trembled instead. Mia noticed and grinned cockily.

"Face it, Willow, I'm the one she wants. She just doesn't know how to let your pathetic little self, down,"

Willow remained mute for a moment but eventually found words.

"I don't believe you."

Mia pushed herself from the doorframe to stand tall.

Now was her moment.

"Well why don't you believe the butterfly freckles she has on her ass," she said, then quickly added insult to injury, "I just love to kiss them."

Willow looked like her whole world was started to cave in.

"S-she could have told you about that. It's funny. It's a funny thing to have."

Mia knew it was time to whip out the big guns.

"What about that little purr she does when she's taking off panties?"

She stepped forward as she watched Willow fall deeper and deeper into despair.

"Or when she's on top and sort of…tugs on her own hair a little…right when she's about to…"

She took another step, seeming to tower over Willow even though they were the same height.

"Or how about when you get right up close to her…and she looks right in your eye and says W–" she had to pause a moment to remind herself she couldn't completely blindly recite what she'd read, "Mia. Take me."

Willow had to grab the wall to keep from falling, so Mia went in for the kill.

"Or how much she just loves when…"

Mia attempted a crude interpretation of a particular hand movement.

Willow looked like she might throw up then and there, but her eyes quickly flashed with anger.

"Shut up! You shut the hell up right now!"

"Tara wants me! Get over it!" Mia yelled back, then covered her heart with her hands as Willow scurried off, "We're finally going to be together."

Willow ran.

And ran, and ran, and ran.

All the way across campus; not stopping for crowds, or wayward branches or when the burning in her lungs almost became too much to bear.

She ran straight back to their dorm and slammed the door shut with a resounding bang.

Tara was only just in the door herself and nearly jumped from her skin as the sound reverberated around the room. She turned to face her incensed girlfriend.

"Willow, what's wrong? Why are you all sweaty?"

She went to approach but Willow pushed her hand away with a snarl.

"Don't touch me!"

Tara took a step back, genuinely afraid of the look on Willow's face.

"Willow, what happened?"

Willow's nostrils flared.

"I know. I know, okay, I know!"

"Know what?" Tara asked, her hands starting to shake, "What are you talking about?"

"About you and Mia!" Willow yelled, voice venomous, "You kissed her!"

Tara's eyes went wide.

"I-I never–"

Willow gestured wildly towards the door.

"Just now, I saw you!"

Tara cast her mind back and instantly began shaking her head.

"I kissed her cheek!" she said, in a panic at how mad Willow was, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know it would upset you! I was just being friendly."

"Yeah, friendly," Willow spat, "Like how friendly you were with me before we started dating."

Tara tried to approach again.

"Willow, it was just a cheek kiss. It was nothing."

Willow's eyes were watering but even she didn't know if they were tears or just from anger.

"Don't lie to me! I know, I know everything!"

Tara threw her hands up in the air.

"Then tell me because I don't know what the hell is going on!"

"I. Know. You've. Been. Sleeping. With. Her," Willow replied, spitting each word like it physically stung her.

"I-I would never!" Tara replied, stumbling over her words in shock, "I love you! I've never even thought about it!"

"Cut the bullcrap!" Willow yelled, "She told me, she knows, knows about your freckles!"

"Maybe I mentioned it one day, Willow, I can't even remember!" Tara replied, at a loss at how Willow had gotten into this state so quickly and doing her best not to flinch each time the loud voice cut through her.

"Oh yeah?" Willow asked, her face contorting in disgust, "And did you mention about things you do in bed? What you say, what you like?"

Tara pulled at the end of her sleeve.

"O-of course not, that's private."

Willow scoffed.

"Yeah, private with the people you're sleeping with, of which I'm apparently not the only one."

Tara looked up, her eyes angry at being accused of such a thing.

"Willow, I don't know what you think is going on, but I've never so much as glanced at another woman."

Willow looked like she might believe her for a moment, but something caught her eye and it quickly fell away as she made a grab for Tara's collar.

"What are you doing?" Tara almost screeched, mistaking it for a manhandle.

Willow bunched it up in her hand.

"Lipstick. All over you. It's certainly not mine."

Tara looked at it, wide-eyed.

"I-I don't know how that got there."

"Sure you don't," Willow sneered, but felt the hurt starting to override the anger as she looked in Tara's eye, "I trusted you more than anyone in my life. Was all that just a lie?"

"No," Tara replied, her voice starting to break too, "I haven't done anything! I haven't done anything!"

"I can't believe you've done this to us," Willow continued, near real tears, "And you're too chicken to even admit it. I fought my feelings for so long, telling myself I was the stupid one. Turns out I was, too stupid to see what was going on before my own eyes."

Her face started to crumble and Tara scurried to follow as she headed towards the door.

"No, don't leave, don't leave me, please."

"What's there left to say?" Willow asked, hand on the doorknob.

"Anything!" Tara replied pleadingly, "Everything! I haven't cheated! I haven't done anything, we're just friends!"

"That's not what she says. She has a lot to say, a lot that only someone who's been…" Willow considered her words like it pained her to even think them, "Intimate with you would know."

"I don't know," Tara replied, desperate, "I-I don't know what she said or why she said it or how she knows but I promise you're the only person I've ever been with. You're my Willow, I'm–"

"Don't you dare lie on a promise," Willow cut her off, it feeling like a final betrayal.

"I'm not," Tara replied, her voice steady and clear.

Willow wanted to believe her.

_Could she be telling the truth? But how could Mia know…?_

"I've known something was up for a long time now. You kept pushing me away, making sure I wouldn't find out," she replied, hand still on the door but not moving.

"You said you thought it was weird she was in our class. That's all you ever said to me," Tara replied, eyes begging her to stay, "How was I supposed to know you thought something else was happening? You never said! I would have, I would have–"

"What?" Willow asked.

"Done something! Said something! Fixed it!" Tara replied, shouting now too and feeling terrible for it, "I'm sorry, Willow, I'm a little all over the place here, you're standing here about to break up with me, a-a friendship I thought I had isn't real if she's said all this stuff, w-we're being, being, spied on or something, I don't know what's happening, I don't understand, I don't–"

Willow took Tara's prattling on as waffle to try and confuse her, so started to open the door again. Tara shut up quick and tried to keep the door closed.

"P-please don't leave me, please, I'll do anything. I-I'll take a lie detector, I'll…"

Willow tried to scoot her out of the way.

"Give it up, Tara. You've been found out. Of all the people…"

Tara couldn't help as the tears started to flow.

"Please, listen to me, I love you–"

"How can you say that after what you've done?!" Willow asked, pulling at the knob now.

"Because it's all I've ever done," Tara replied in a blubber, "Willow, please, please…"

Willow made a final yank at the door and got it open.

"Okay, let's just calm down, okay?" Tara begged as Willow tried to push past her, "We can both calm down and then we can figure this out."

"Get out of my way," Willow replied, the pain and humiliation becoming too much to bear.

"Tell me you'll come back," Tara said, her voice shaking, "Please tell me you'll come back."

Willow felt Tara's voice sting her heart, but she wasn't listening to that body part. She shoved her out of the way.

Tara stumbled in place, shocked, then angry.

"Why are you being so stubborn?! Why won't you listen to me?!"

"Why did you cheat?! Why would you do that to me?" Willow retorted.

"I DIDN'T!" Tara yelled, grabbing the door, "You came storming in here furious at me and haven't listened to a word I've said!"

"I've heard all I have to hear!" Willow said, snarling.

"Well if that's the case then I don't think it's my love that should be in question!" Tara replied, arms crossed over her chest.

"Oh, nice. Deflecting blame on me," Willow said, shaking her head, "Classic cheater move."

"I didn't cheat!" Tara shouted back.

Willow kicked the door, furious.

"Then tell me how Mia knows how you like to be fucked!?"

Willow thought she might collapse on the weight of Tara's betrayed gaze. She had to get out of there.

Now.

She stepped over the threshold and slammed the door closed, shouting through it on her way. It was a lot easier to be angry.

"I trusted you! I can't believe I trusted you!"


	40. Chapter 40

**GnomeGirly** – I felt intense writing it. And trust me, you're not the only one. I count myself amongst them.

**tjwiltshire** – Ah, we can't have tummy rumbles! Keep thinking about the awesome poem (I call it the Tara-poem in my head)

**gimpy72** – Oh, she's gonna go, trust me.

**SonyaG** – I'm sorry! I'll make it better, I promise!

**I never do this** – I'm sorry! I wrote as fast as I could to get it up quicker! Hope this starts to make it better.

**Queenphoenix08** – I think she would have even done worse if she'd had more time. And she brought it to write in it. Lots of people bring a diary around to write in. They will definitely figure things out quick!

**Willara4ever** – They will figure out the diary and Willow will feel quite silly for not earlier, but her emotions and thoughts were all over the place. Hope you like how it works itself out!

* * *

Pitchforks can go down now, I got this finished so I could post today instead of Wednesday! (But really I'm sorry for ending the last one like that)

* * *

Tara stood still in complete and utter shock.

She hadn't been yelled at like that in a long time.

She hadn't been scared like that in a long time.

She hadn't been scared like that ever.

Nothing was more terrifying than contemplating life without Willow, now she'd experienced all she had to offer.

Except maybe that Willow could become the person she'd just fought with. And that she'd fought right back.

That was terrifying to her.

Those and every other thought imaginable went through her mind in the ten seconds it took her to snap to attention and follow Willow out.

She caught the wisp of red hair at the staircase and thundered up the stairs after her, then followed her down the hallway to Becky's room. She shoved her foot in the door to stop it from closing. Becky opened it in confusion.

"Jeez, this thing isn't a revolving–"

"Y-you don't just get to walk out on me," Tara spoke up, not even looking at Becky.

Becky held up her hands between them.

"Whoa, if you two are having–"

"She cheated on me," Willow spat.

"No, I didn't," Tara replied, firm.

Becky's eyebrows shot up.

"Hey, is this about what you said a couple of weeks ago? Because I said it myself, I was talking out of my ass."

Tara's head shot to Becky.

"What did you say?"

"I made some ass-hat remark about doing more than reading lines with some girl in your class," Becky said, looking slowly between them, "And then I said I was being stupid."

Tara looked at Willow and shook her head.

"Nice to know how many people you put ahead of me when it comes to our relationship."

"At least I only put them ahead, not under me!" Willow shot back.

Tara's eyes flashed between hurt, fear and anger in the space of a second, before she burst into tears and ran from the room at full speed.

"Hey, whoa–" Becky tried to stop her, but she was already gone.

"Leave her, she's just upset she finally got caught," Willow said, back turned and arms crossed.

Becky turned to her, shocked.

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend? What the hell happened?"

"That skank I told you about," Willow said with a sniff, "I caught them."

"Doing what?" Becky probed.

Willow looked disgusted.

"Kissing."

Becky's mouth dropped.

"Tara was kissing her?!"

Willow nodded.

"Lips all over her cheek."

Becky visibly did a double take, then grabbed Willow's shoulders and physically shook them.

"Jesus Christ, Willow, you drove that poor girl to tears, you made that crack head remark over a stupid cheek kiss?!"

"It wasn't just a stupid cheek kiss!" Willow replied, raising her voice and pushing Becky off her, "They were having an affair!"

"How do you know that?" Becky asked, not able to believe it.

Willow raised her chin.

"Skanky-ho told me!"

"Oh and I'd definitely believe the words of a 'skanky-ho' over my own girlfriend who I've been head over heels for, for like a year," Becky replied with a roll of her eyes, "I've dated cheaters. Tara is not a cheater."

"She knew things," Willow argued, "Skanky-ho knew things!"

Becky raised an eyebrow.

"Things like what?"

"Like…sexual things!" Willow spluttered, "About Tara!"

Becky was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Willow, I can't…I can't believe Tara would…No. No way."

"Yeah, well now you know how I feel," Willow replied with a sniff.

Becky dropped her head into her hands and sighed.

"Willow, look…I mean, jeez, I don't know what to do here."

Willow's brow creased.

"I'm your best friend, you're supposed to be on my side."

Becky's hands went to her hips.

"And as your best friend I'm telling you get off your ass and figure this shit out. Like, now."

Willow lifted her chin in defiance, but Becky stayed firm.

"Are you ready to throw that girl away? Are you really ready for that? Why don't you think about it? Tara. Gone. No more. Over something you're not even sure of?"

"But she cheated?" Willow said, it coming out more of a question as she took on her much needed ass-kicking to try and view the situation with some clarity.

"Willow, unless you physically caught them with their heads between each others' legs, there can be an explanation for everything," Becky replied, squaring Willow's shoulders towards the door, "I shouldn't be the person you're talking to right now. Go."

Willow hesitated for a moment, until Becky actually lifted her leg and kicked her butt, gently but enough to get her over the threshold. She closed the door with her back and sighed.

"I should be a therapist."

Willow rubbed her butt for a moment and shot the door an annoyed look before making her way slowly back down the stairs.

_Okay, no more Willow-the-victim. Listen. Give her five minutes. Eight months deserves at least five–-_

She came to an abrupt stop at the foot of the stairs as she saw Tara standing outside their door in a state of silent hysteria; trying to pull the doorknob clean off, her face wet with tears.

As she got closer, she heard Tara was repeating the same thing over and over again.

"I forgot my key," Tara spoke to herself in a trembling voice, "I forgot my key, I forgot my key. I have to make dinner before he gets back."

She stopped then and shook her head for a moment, seeming to remember she wasn't in that place, but still pulled frantically at the door.

"I forgot my key."

She was getting more aggressive and talking to the air at a more erratic pace. Willow had read enough in her textbooks to know the beginnings of a panic attack when she saw one. Her heart broke more than the first sting of betrayal, more than she even thought was possible.

She approached unassumingly and made sure not to try and touch Tara or send her into a panic, where she might flee.

"Tara, it's Willow," she said in her softest, kindest voice, "You're having a little anxiety attack. I'm going to help you."

"Not okay, it's not okay," Tara replied; voice raised, though coming through gritted teeth now, "I forgot my keys!"

Willow intellectually knew how to react in this situation, but it was a totally different story when it was Tara breaking down in front of her.

"Tara, honey, breathe," she said, almost begging and staving off tears herself, "Please."

Grace, the RA's, attention had been caught by the sounds the violent door-shaking was causing. She came from her room and walked up the hallway towards them. She approached quickly when she saw Tara was visibly distressed.

"Are you okay, Tara?" she asked, only for Tara to begin to shake.

"She's upset," Willow explained lamely, discreetly wiping her eye.

"Why?" Grace asked, aware Tara was more than in a bad mood.

"We had a fight," Willow explained off quickly, then tried to catch Tara's eye, "But I'll listen, I want to listen, Tara, that's why I came down. We can talk, let's talk."

Grace saw people come into the building and nodded to Willow.

"Can we get inside?"

Willow felt around and finally found her key shoved in her jacket pocket, then opened the door for them. Tara seemed relieved to finally be able to move inside, but with one look to Willow's side of the bed, fell against it and started to sob.

She seemed completely unaware anyone else was even in the room.

Willow felt like her shattered heart was taken to with a hammer again, and had to physically turn away. Grace took control and walked over to Tara, sitting with her and slowly getting her attention.

"Tara, I want you to do a breathing exercise with me, okay? We inhale for three seconds and exhale for five. Can you do that with me?"

Tara tears had dried up, no more left to spill, but her eyes were filled with all the sadness she couldn't let out.

She was ashamed and embarrassed that she had witnesses to getting into such a state, but appreciated that someone still cared.

Willow watched Tara keep Grace's eye and follow the breathing rhythm into calmness.

It would have been intimate had Tara not looked so utterly heartbroken.

She would have been jealous if she wasn't already almost totally sure that Tara had always been completely loyal to her.

She got the water bottle from the nightstand and kneeled down on the other side of Tara; not to interrupt, just to let her know she was there. She untwisted the cap and held it out for Tara to take whenever she wanted.

Tara knew Willow was beside it, but couldn't bear to look at her, sure she'd see pity and rejection. Her throat was dry, so she took the bottle, but kept her eyes firmly fixed on the floor.

Everyone was quiet for a stretch of minutes, Willow and Grace offering Tara time to compose herself. Eventually a quiet, emotionally-wrought voice bounced off the floor it was being spoken down to.

"T-thanks."

Grace put her hand on Tara's upper back and rubbed gently.

"Are you alright? Do you know where you are, what happened?"

Tara nodded, but still wouldn't look up. Grace's face was full of sympathy.

"Don't worry, I have to deal with things like this more often than you think," she reassured, "Can I get you anything, do anything?"

Tara shook her head. Grace gave her shoulder a squeeze and stood up.

"Let me know, I'll be around all day," she said to Willow, then let herself out.

Tara felt like squeezing into a tiny ball, wondering how long Willow would sit there and pity her.

"Y-you're not leaving too?"

"Not unless you'd prefer I did," Willow replied softly, "I came to talk, but don't want to upset you. Again."

Tara's head lifted, but eyes didn't rise yet.

"You w-want to talk?"

Willow nodded, then her voice caught.

"Yes."

Tara's hands turned around themselves in her lap.

"I-I'm scared to say anything."

Willow closed her eyes to stop an errant tear from falling.

"I promise, I won't yell at you."

Tara knew she wouldn't either; the crass back-and-forth still bounced around her head like an old game of pong.

"I don't know what to say?"

Willow copied Grace's breathing trick, knowing the next thing out of her mouth could change the whole life she'd learned to love that year.

"Just look me in the eye. Right now, look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Whatever the truth is, tell me."

Tara's eyes finally lifted.

"I love you."

Willow let the tear she'd kept in fall.

"I love you too," she said, quickly wiping the tear from her cheek, "Do you…do you love her too?"

Tara shook her head, unable to even voice how alien that thought was to her.

"Do you like her?" Willow asked, needing to know everything, "Are you involved? Has there been even a moment?"

"I th-thought we were friends. I never thought about anything more," Tara answered honestly.

Willow was on the cusp of letting herself believe she could still have it all.

"Do you know how she knows those things?"

"I don't even know what she said to you," Tara replied, eyes already resigned to being alone.

Willow looked into those eyes - the ones that hadn't changed since the moment they met. The same soft sapphire that bore into her soul; that had showed her what real feeling was; that made her feel like she had a home.

The ones that showered her with adoration and affection. The ones that woke her each morning. The ones she'd fallen in love with, the ones she'd always love.

The ones who broke her heart and healed it again. The ones who were now utterly vulnerable and wrought with undeserved shame.

The ones up until the past hour, she'd trusted implicitly.

And did again.

She brought her hands up to cover her mouth, suddenly all too aware of the heart and mind chaos she'd caused, almost permanently.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tara. I'm so sorry."

Tara's heart jumped into her throat.

"Do you b-believe me?"

Willow nodded quickly and dropped her hands, inadvertently putting them together into a prayer pose.

"I believe you," she said, voice catching on a hiccup, "I believe you. I'm so sorry."

Tara started to cry again, but was calmer and quieter this time, and Willow could see her whole body fill with relief. She thought it would be okay to touch her now, so moved her arm around Tara's waist and held her close to her chest.

Tara readily accepted the comfort.

"I thought…I thought…"

"I know," Willow replied in a comforting voice, "It was me, I jumped the gun and went in kicking and screaming and showed you no respect and yelled, god, I'm so sorry I yelled."

Tara sniffed.

"I-I yelled too. I-I've never…"

"Sshh," Willow replied soothingly, "It's okay. You were reacting to me and the…horrible things I said. I'll never forgive myself for those."

Tara had her head tucked under Willow's chin, but reached up to play with the ends of her hair.

"You were shocked. I understand."

"No…don't make excuses for me," Willow replied, marvelling that Tara was so ready to comfort her after everything, "It's a bad situation but I couldn't have possibly handled it any worse."

She kissed the side of Tara's head.

"You should rest. It's been a tough little while."

Tara looked down again.

"I'm so embarrassed."

"There's _nothing_ to be embarrassed about," Willow reassured, gently encouraging Tara up, "Come on, come lay down."

Tara let herself be led onto the bed to rest. She half-sat up against the pillows, which Willow fluffed.

"Will you s-sit with me?" Tara asked, nervously biting the skin around her thumb.

"Yeah, I will," Willow replied, more than grateful she'd been forgiven without even needing to ask.

She lay down beside Tara and put an arm across her waist, holding her hand on the other side. They were both quiet for a few minutes, appreciating how important being able to do such a simple act was.

They were like that for so long, Willow assumed Tara had fallen asleep and was too afraid to move and risk waking her, until a quiet voice spoke near her ear.

"Willow?"

Willow blinked a few times, then squeezed Tara's hand affectionately.

"Yeah, baby?"

Another silence dropped between them before Tara caught Willow's eye.

"What did she actually say?"

Willow winced.

"Just…things."

"S-sexual things," Tara clarified, gathering that much.

"Yes," Willow replied, and saw her girlfriend looking for elaboration, "Tara, I don't want to upset you again…"

She sighed when she saw Tara wasn't going to let it slide.

"Just that…that you tug on your own hair sometimes and that you kind of purr and just stuff like that," she rambled off quickly, "Just things."

Tara sensed more was said but decided she'd heard enough.

"I didn't even know I did that stuff."

Willow started to look around the room uncomfortably.

"Do you think she has a camera or something in here?"

Tara was suddenly on alert, thoroughly creeped out.

"Have you told anyone that stuff?" Tara asked, "Like Becky? Somewhere someone could overhear?"

Willow shook her head definitively.

"No, Tara, no way. That stuff is private. The only ones who know that stuff are me, you and my journal. And Mia apparent–" she started to say, but cut herself off when she saw Tara's eyes go wide, "What?"

"Your journal," Tara replied, her hand making a gentle fist around the fabric of Willow's shirt,

"I dropped it–" Willow began before the same look dawned on her face, "Or someone took it."

Tara nodded to indicate they were on the same page.

"The things she said," she started, cheeks turning pink at the thought of being written about like that, "A-are those things you wrote?"

"Yes. Yes!" Willow exclaimed, jumping right up and off the bed, "Oh my god, she didn't even, she didn't even change the words! It's what I wrote, word-for-word! That's why it sounded so familiar, that's why I was so sure it was true! It's exactly what I wrote!"

Willow paced back and forth for another few moments before suddenly dropping to her knees by the bed and hanging her head.

"Oh love, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you for a second."

Tara sat up in bed and dragged her knees up, dropping her forehead against them, forlorn herself.

"I-I can't believe this. I thought she was my friend. I had no idea. I feel so stupid. Stupid after stupid after stupid today. I made you think this could be true."

Willow came up and took Tara's hand again.

"No, Tara, she's been manipulating this whole thing right from the start. She's an actor, remember? Like, a real one. Now we know why she's taking the class, trying to get close to you. And why I always got tossed aside if I was around. And my stuff, my insecurities, they're not your fault. I should have talked to you."

"She always cut me off when I tried to talk about you," Tara replied, shaking her head to herself, "I just thought she was sad she didn't have someone. Have I mentioned I'm stupid?"

Willow climbed up beside Tara and wrapped her arms around her.

"You. Are Not. Stupid," she said, looking Tara square in the eye and falling in love with her all over again, "You see the best in people and that's...that's why I fell in love with you. That's why I want to love you for the rest of my life, if you'll let me."

She touched Tara's cheek to hers softly.

"I'm insecure, I'm really insecure but it's not a fraction of how I was like before I met you, so if you just give me some more time and keep loving me and fighting for me like you did today, I promise I'll try to be a better person."

Tara lifted her hand and put it on the back of Willow's neck.

"Willow, of course I will."

Willow took in a shaky breath and exhaled it softly in time with Tara. She thought she was calm but felt her fury reignite when she saw the lipstick on the back of Tara's sweater. She rolled away and kicked against the floor, needing to physically get it out.

"God, that bitch! That total snake! She totally set us up!"

Tara had followed Willow's eyeline and shuddered with disgust as she saw the red stains out of the corner of her eye. She started to claw it from her back and tossed it to the floor.

"B-Burn it or something. She must have taken it while I wasn't looking and planted lipstick on it."

Willow grabbed it and aggressively threw it into the trash.

"Thought if she got me to leave you that you'd be hers for the taking," she replied, the words spitting from her mouth, "Well think again, dumb bitch, because we're stronger than that."

Tara eyes glanced down.

"We almost weren't."

Willow smarted at that. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she just sighed and perched back at the end of the bed.

"I-I'm so sorry, Tara. I can't say that enough. I thought we'd had our first fight with the Dad stuff but that was nothing compared to this. I just...I blew up. I thought I heard proof even though there was no evidence. I got so scared and so mad, I loved you so much, the thought that it wasn't real, that it wasn't…I just couldn't…I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

Tara lifted her eyes to Willow's slowly.

"Loved?"

"Love," Willow corrected quickly, "Love. Love you. Past, present and future. As long as you'll let me."

Tara reached for Willow's hand.

"It's not 'letting'. I adore you," she said, still sniffling quietly, "You had all these concerns and I shoved them aside. Blew you off, thought you were over-thinking everything."

Willow smiled wryly.

"It's a pretty fair assumption, usually."

Tara wiped a thumb under her eye and caught a tear.

"I knew you were upset and I didn't–"

Willow cut her off with a soft kiss. She felt Tara inhale from the kiss and gently massaged the back of her neck until she felt they were both calm again.

"You know what?" she said, moving her hand around to Tara's cheek, "We're blaming ourselves for a situation we didn't cause. Okay, yes, handled badly, but not our fault. We're not who we should be mad at. I know, super late to that realisation, with the yelling, I know you hate the yelling, but–"

"I forgive you," Tara interrupted gently, ready to let go of the hurt.

Willow paused a moment, then accepted it with a soft smile.

"Thank you," she replied genuinely, "And you were only responding to me, but I know you feel bad. So I forgive you too."

"Thank you," Tara answered, it going yards to heal the emotional wounds.

They shared another kiss, reconnecting hearts and minds, then broke off to hug. They stayed like that for a long while, until Tara finally sighed into Willow's neck.

"I need to go talk to Mia."

Willow froze but tried to keep her voice reasoned.

"You? Alone?"

Tara moved from the embrace and got a new sweater to shield her from the winds outside.

"I just want to..." she started as she grabbed her keys, face scrunching in disgust, hidden to Willow, "I'll be back okay?"

Willow watched her leave without blinking.

She lasted ninety seconds before she bolted out the door to follow, tailing Tara across campus to Mia's dorm building.

Like before, she hid at the corner as she watched Tara knock on the door. Her breath caught as she waited for it to open.

Their make-up hadn't been a lie, a ploy, had it? It couldn't be. Everything Tara had said had been so honest, so real. She trusted her. She had to.

She waited for the scene to play out.

It wasn't what she expected.

In the best possible way.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Tara asked loudly and, for her, quite aggressively when the door had only been open half a second.

Mia's head snapped back, bewildered.

"Tara–"

"How dare you trick my girlfriend like that," Tara continued, eyes blazing like Willow had never seen.

Mia's eyes darted around beadily.

"Tara, come in and we can–"

"I don't want to be anywhere near you," Tara replied, a look of scorn crossing her face, "I liked you, I defended you, I thought you were my friend!"

Mia was very wary of the other people who were passing and staring in.

"Let me explain–"

"No, you don't get to explain. Actions speak louder than words," Tara replied, shaking her head, "I don't know why I didn't figure you out sooner, but it all makes sense now. You were playing a game the whole time."

Mia's eyes began to turn desperate.

"Tara, we can be together–"

"I don't want to be with you," Tara cut her off without hesitation, "Maybe we could have been friends if you'd been honest, but you messed with my girlfriend."

Tara took one step forward, close to Mia's face now.

"And _nobody_ messes with my girl."

Mia almost felt physically threatened by Tara's gaze, which was not an association she would ever have put with her 'friend'. She felt everything crumbling and glanced nervously at where she'd hidden the diary under her pillow. Tara was savvy enough to catch it and marched over, upturning the pillow and grabbing it.

"Hey, you can't–!"

"_This_ is my girlfriend's," Tara said, keeping a firm hold on it, "Have I said that enough for you? Girlfriend? Who's not you? Do you get it yet?"

Mia felt that sting and scowled.

"Look who she's turning you into! You're kind, sweet Tara, not this, this bitch!"

"_You_ turned me into this," Tara replied, fixing Mia with an angry gaze before she marched back out of the room, "And you're the bitch."

She left the room and planned to walk straight out, but stopped when she recognised a familiar shade of red poking out of the corner.

Willow saw she'd been caught and gulped. She stepped forward, wondering if she'd really done it this time.

"Tara…I'm…I'm sorry, I…"

Tara held her hand out for Willow to take.

"It's okay, I would have followed me too."

Willow threw her arms around Tara's neck and held on tight until she could blink away a couple of tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but caught sight of Mia snarling at them by the door first.

"Stay the hell away from us," Willow snapped, discreetly flipping Mia the bird behind Tara's back.

Mia looked like she wished she had something to throw at them, then spun around and slammed her door hard; hard enough to make Tara jump.

Tara looked over her shoulder and seemed to deflate on the spot, no more anger to give now Mia was out of sight.

"I-I was...I-I was mean–"

"You took charge for us," Willow cut her off slightly, voice choked, "That…that means a lot. A whole lot."

Tara decided she'd needed to be firm given the situation. She gave a little smile and offered the diary back.

"Here's your journal."

"Thanks," Willow replied softly, holding it close to her chest, "Take me home?"

Tara nodded and brushed her hand against Willow's cheek, then re-linked their fingers. They walked slowly and silently across campus, both glancing every so often at the other but looking away again before saying anything.

When they got back to their building, Willow went to open the door, but closed it again almost straight away and turned around. She didn't want the heavy air they were carrying to come in with them.

"Tara…" she started, nervously sliding her palm down her pants leg, "Is there any way things could…not be weird? Or is that just a given for a while? Because I would like for things not to be weird. I feel just awful but do we...do we have to feel just awful?"

Tara gave a soft shrug, eyes fixed on the floor.

"I don't know."

Willow turned Tara's hand over in hers and glanced around to make sure they were alone.

"I mean, we, we figured it all out and we said sorry and I know it's not a magical fix-all and maybe there's still a lot to work through because this was pretty big but–"

"Can we just skip it?" Tara asked, pulling gently on the ends of Willow's shirt and toying with the hem.

Willow slowly smiled.

"Yeah."

Tara took a step forward so she was pushing Willow's body back against the door with her own.

"Can you just be–"

She didn't get to finish as someone started to push at the doors from the other side, trying to remove the blockade.

Tara stumbled back and took Willow with her. The person on the other side pushed through and initially looked at them annoyed, but brightened when she saw who they were.

"Hey loveb–" Becky started to greet before quickly shutting her mouth, though her eyes cast down and noticed something, "You're holding hands…"

Willow smiled and squeezed their palms together.

"We're okay. Figured things out. Thanks for the kick up the butt."

"Well hallelujah!" Becky exclaimed, throwing her arms around them, utterly relieved - they were her shining light in the relationship arena, "Don't go scaring me like that again. What happened?"

Willow scowled.

"That girl stole my journal and just...she's just been messing with our heads. Playing this game, trying to get me out and Tara in with her. It all just came to a head today."

"Nasty!" Becky replied, looking equally as scornful, "Did you kick her ass?"

"Tara did!" Willow replied, quite excitedly, before quickly adding on when she saw the look on Tara's face, "Verbally, of course."

"Well go you, Tara," Becky replied, playfully tapping Tara's arm, impressed, "Hope you guys have a quieter evening. Hey, did you see the Halloween party notice?"

Willow and Tara exchanged blank looks.

"Check the noticeboard," Becky called back to them, already on her way to wherever she was going, "Bye!"

They walked in and over to the noticeboard, where Willow grabbed one of several colourful flyers pinned there.

"Eurgh. No thank you," she said, handing the flyer off to Tara as they walked back towards their room.

"What's a dorm party?" Tara questioned.

"People open the doors to their room and turn the whole dorm into party central," Willow replied, opening their door and standing aside to let Tara in, "Do you want–"

"No," Tara cut her off, dropping the flyer into the trash.

"Good, me either," Willow replied, relieved, "I'll find us something fun to go to. Did you celebrate Halloween when you were a kid?"

Tara walked over to the bed and started to smooth out the sheet from earlier.

"I didn't live near many other houses and kids were kinda scared to come to ours," she said, before further explaining, "My father shot birds and kept his gun around."

"Wow, no trick-or-treater fun there," Willow replied, flopping down on the bed and ruining most of Tara's good work, "My nanny let me dress up one year but my mom wasn't happy when she found out. Said encouraging too much imagination could lead to living in a fantasy world or blah blah blah who gives a rat's ass what she thinks. Anyway, wasn't much for the celebrating either. When I was a teenager I used to watch a lot of scary movies; that was my only Halloween rebellion."

Tara rolled her eyes playfully about the messed-up-again sheet and lay down beside Willow.

"That sounds fun."

Willow turned on her side to face Tara.

"We could go out somewhere while the party's on and come back and do that. They'll have to finish up like 11 for noise curfew, right?" she asked and got a confirming nod, "Great. Hey, let's dress up!"

"In costumes?" Tara asked warily.

Willow nodded keenly.

"Yeah, it'll be so fun! And it doesn't matter where we end up going; everyone is dressed up on Halloween."

Tara couldn't deny the shine in Willow's eye.

"Okay, if you really want–"

"Yay!" Willow replied without even waiting for her to finish, clapping excitedly, "You won't regret it!"

Tara sat on the corner of the bed and traced patterns in Willow's palm.

"Been a long day."

Willow swallowed guiltily.

"I know. C'mere and rest."

Tara shuffled up and lay next to her like they had earlier.

"This is the only time I know things are going to be okay. When I'm with you like this. You're my safe place."

Willow gently ran her hand up and down Tara's arm.

"I'm sorry I threatened that. And glad that I still can be."

"You don't need to say sorry anymore," Tara replied softly, nuzzling into Willow's shoulder, "Just don't let go."

Willow turned her head enough to inhale from the top of Tara's and filled her voice with all the promise she had.

"Never."

She tugged Tara's shirt slightly so they were lying right alongside each other, nose to nose, which were gently nuzzling against one another.

"I love you, Tara," Willow whispered, hand smoothing down Tara's hair onto her arm, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Willow," Tara replied, pressing her lips sweetly against Willow's, "I love being next to you. I love sleeping next to you. I love kissing you."

Willow licked her lips softly.

"Why don't I try to cover all three?

Tara smiled her first real smile in a while and brushed some hair from Willow's face, taking in a slow savouring of her girlfriend's beauty with her eyes. Willow always felt like the most beautiful thing on the planet when Tara looked at her like that and completely melted when their lips finally touched.

They shared soft kisses; each filled with their own kind of quiet passion, deep warmth and pure love until Tara had fallen into a gentle sleep, with Willow not far behind her.

Holding in her arms the most precious thing she'd had in all her life, she vowed to be the best person she could be and to forgive herself as Tara had so graciously forgiven her.

Her air was heavy with the weight of their love and Willow found it entrancingly warm. Her lids were quickly closing, but not before she thought of the last question she asked her infamous journal. Already in the delightful haze of the beginning of slumber, she rested their cheeks together, mouth by Tara's ear.

"You're all mine."

Tara stood still in complete and utter shock.

She hadn't been yelled at like that in a long time.

She hadn't been scared like that in a long time.

She hadn't been scared like that ever.

Nothing was more terrifying than contemplating life without Willow, now she'd experienced all she had to offer.

Except maybe that Willow could become the person she'd just fought with. And that she'd fought right back.

That was terrifying to her.

Those and every other thought imaginable went through her mind in the ten seconds it took her to snap to attention and follow Willow out.

She caught the wisp of red hair at the staircase and thundered up the stairs after her, then followed her down the hallway to Becky's room. She shoved her foot in the door to stop it from closing. Becky opened it in confusion.

"Jeez, this thing isn't a revolving–"

"Y-you don't just get to walk out on me," Tara spoke up, not even looking at Becky.

Becky held up her hands between them.

"Whoa, if you two are having–"

"She cheated on me," Willow spat.

"No, I didn't," Tara replied, firm.

Becky's eyebrows shot up.

"Hey, is this about what you said a couple of weeks ago? Because I said it myself, I was talking out of my ass."

Tara's head shot to Becky.

"What did you say?"

"I made some ass-hat remark about doing more than reading lines with some girl in your class," Becky said, looking slowly between them, "And then I said I was being stupid."

Tara looked at Willow and shook her head.

"Nice to know how many people you put ahead of me when it comes to our relationship."

"At least I only put them ahead, not under me!" Willow shot back.

Tara's eyes flashed between hurt, fear and anger in the space of a second, before she burst into tears and ran from the room at full speed.

"Hey, whoa–" Becky tried to stop her, but she was already gone.

"Leave her, she's just upset she finally got caught," Willow said, back turned and arms crossed.

Becky turned to her, shocked.

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend? What the hell happened?"

"That skank I told you about," Willow said with a sniff, "I caught them."

"Doing what?" Becky probed.

Willow looked disgusted.

"Kissing."

Becky's mouth dropped.

"Tara was kissing her?!"

Willow nodded.

"Lips all over her cheek."

Becky visibly did a double take, then grabbed Willow's shoulders and physically shook them.

"Jesus Christ, Willow, you drove that poor girl to tears, you made that crack head remark over a stupid cheek kiss?!"

"It wasn't just a stupid cheek kiss!" Willow replied, raising her voice and pushing Becky off her, "They were having an affair!"

"How do you know that?" Becky asked, not able to believe it.

Willow raised her chin.

"Skanky-ho told me!"

"Oh and I'd definitely believe the words of a 'skanky-ho' over my own girlfriend who I've been head over heels for, for like a year," Becky replied with a roll of her eyes, "I've dated cheaters. Tara is not a cheater."

"She knew things," Willow argued, "Skanky-ho knew things!"

Becky raised an eyebrow.

"Things like what?"

"Like…sexual things!" Willow spluttered, "About Tara!"

Becky was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Willow, I can't…I can't believe Tara would…No. No way."

"Yeah, well now you know how I feel," Willow replied with a sniff.

Becky dropped her head into her hands and sighed.

"Willow, look…I mean, jeez, I don't know what to do here."

Willow's brow creased.

"I'm your best friend, you're supposed to be on my side."

Becky's hands went to her hips.

"And as your best friend I'm telling you get off your ass and figure this shit out. Like, now."

Willow lifted her chin in defiance, but Becky stayed firm.

"Are you ready to throw that girl away? Are you really ready for that? Why don't you think about it? Tara. Gone. No more. Over something you're not even sure of?"

"But she cheated?" Willow said, it coming out more of a question as she took on her much needed ass-kicking to try and view the situation with some clarity.

"Willow, unless you physically caught them with their heads between each others' legs, there can be an explanation for everything," Becky replied, squaring Willow's shoulders towards the door, "I shouldn't be the person you're talking to right now. Go."

Willow hesitated for a moment, until Becky actually lifted her leg and kicked her butt, gently but enough to get her over the threshold. She closed the door with her back and sighed.

"I should be a therapist."

Willow rubbed her butt for a moment and shot the door an annoyed look before making her way slowly back down the stairs.

_Okay, no more Willow-the-victim. Listen. Give her five minutes. Eight months deserves at least five–-_

She came to an abrupt stop at the foot of the stairs as she saw Tara standing outside their door in a state of silent hysteria; trying to pull the doorknob clean off, her face wet with tears.

As she got closer, she heard Tara was repeating the same thing over and over again.

"I forgot my key," Tara spoke to herself in a trembling voice, "I forgot my key, I forgot my key. I have to make dinner before he gets back."

She stopped then and shook her head for a moment, seeming to remember she wasn't in that place, but still pulled frantically at the door.

"I forgot my key."

She was getting more aggressive and talking to the air at a more erratic pace. Willow had read enough in her textbooks to know the beginnings of a panic attack when she saw one. Her heart broke more than the first sting of betrayal, more than she even thought was possible.

She approached unassumingly and made sure not to try and touch Tara or send her into a panic, where she might flee.

"Tara, it's Willow," she said in her softest, kindest voice, "You're having a little anxiety attack. I'm going to help you."

"Not okay, it's not okay," Tara replied; voice raised, though coming through gritted teeth now, "I forgot my keys!"

Willow intellectually knew how to react in this situation, but it was a totally different story when it was Tara breaking down in front of her.

"Tara, honey, breathe," she said, almost begging and staving off tears herself, "Please."

Grace, the RA's, attention had been caught by the sounds the violent door-shaking was causing. She came from her room and walked up the hallway towards them. She approached quickly when she saw Tara was visibly distressed.

"Are you okay, Tara?" she asked, only for Tara to begin to shake.

"She's upset," Willow explained lamely, discreetly wiping her eye.

"Why?" Grace asked, aware Tara was more than in a bad mood.

"We had a fight," Willow explained off quickly, then tried to catch Tara's eye, "But I'll listen, I want to listen, Tara, that's why I came down. We can talk, let's talk."

Grace saw people come into the building and nodded to Willow.

"Can we get inside?"

Willow felt around and finally found her key shoved in her jacket pocket, then opened the door for them. Tara seemed relieved to finally be able to move inside, but with one look to Willow's side of the bed, fell against it and started to sob.

She seemed completely unaware anyone else was even in the room.

Willow felt like her shattered heart was taken to with a hammer again, and had to physically turn away. Grace took control and walked over to Tara, sitting with her and slowly getting her attention.

"Tara, I want you to do a breathing exercise with me, okay? We inhale for three seconds and exhale for five. Can you do that with me?"

Tara tears had dried up, no more left to spill, but her eyes were filled with all the sadness she couldn't let out.

She was ashamed and embarrassed that she had witnesses to getting into such a state, but appreciated that someone still cared.

Willow watched Tara keep Grace's eye and follow the breathing rhythm into calmness.

It would have been intimate had Tara not looked so utterly heartbroken.

She would have been jealous if she wasn't already almost totally sure that Tara had always been completely loyal to her.

She got the water bottle from the nightstand and kneeled down on the other side of Tara; not to interrupt, just to let her know she was there. She untwisted the cap and held it out for Tara to take whenever she wanted.

Tara knew Willow was beside it, but couldn't bear to look at her, sure she'd see pity and rejection. Her throat was dry, so she took the bottle, but kept her eyes firmly fixed on the floor.

Everyone was quiet for a stretch of minutes, Willow and Grace offering Tara time to compose herself. Eventually a quiet, emotionally-wrought voice bounced off the floor it was being spoken down to.

"T-thanks."

Grace put her hand on Tara's upper back and rubbed gently.

"Are you alright? Do you know where you are, what happened?"

Tara nodded, but still wouldn't look up. Grace's face was full of sympathy.

"Don't worry, I have to deal with things like this more often than you think," she reassured, "Can I get you anything, do anything?"

Tara shook her head. Grace gave her shoulder a squeeze and stood up.

"Let me know, I'll be around all day," she said to Willow, then let herself out.

Tara felt like squeezing into a tiny ball, wondering how long Willow would sit there and pity her.

"Y-you're not leaving too?"

"Not unless you'd prefer I did," Willow replied softly, "I came to talk, but don't want to upset you. Again."

Tara's head lifted, but eyes didn't rise yet.

"You w-want to talk?"

Willow nodded, then her voice caught.

"Yes."

Tara's hands turned around themselves in her lap.

"I-I'm scared to say anything."

Willow closed her eyes to stop an errant tear from falling.

"I promise, I won't yell at you."

Tara knew she wouldn't either; the crass back-and-forth still bounced around her head like an old game of pong.

"I don't know what to say?"

Willow copied Grace's breathing trick, knowing the next thing out of her mouth could change the whole life she'd learned to love that year.

"Just look me in the eye. Right now, look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Whatever the truth is, tell me."

Tara's eyes finally lifted.

"I love you."

Willow let the tear she'd kept in fall.

"I love you too," she said, quickly wiping the tear from her cheek, "Do you…do you love her too?"

Tara shook her head, unable to even voice how alien that thought was to her.

"Do you like her?" Willow asked, needing to know everything, "Are you involved? Has there been even a moment?"

"I th-thought we were friends. I never thought about anything more," Tara answered honestly.

Willow was on the cusp of letting herself believe she could still have it all.

"Do you know how she knows those things?"

"I don't even know what she said to you," Tara replied, eyes already resigned to being alone.

Willow looked into those eyes - the ones that hadn't changed since the moment they met. The same soft sapphire that bore into her soul; that had showed her what real feeling was; that made her feel like she had a home.

The ones that showered her with adoration and affection. The ones that woke her each morning. The ones she'd fallen in love with, the ones she'd always love.

The ones who broke her heart and healed it again. The ones who were now utterly vulnerable and wrought with undeserved shame.

The ones up until the past hour, she'd trusted implicitly.

And did again.

She brought her hands up to cover her mouth, suddenly all too aware of the heart and mind chaos she'd caused, almost permanently.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tara. I'm so sorry."

Tara's heart jumped into her throat.

"Do you b-believe me?"

Willow nodded quickly and dropped her hands, inadvertently putting them together into a prayer pose.

"I believe you," she said, voice catching on a hiccup, "I believe you. I'm so sorry."

Tara started to cry again, but was calmer and quieter this time, and Willow could see her whole body fill with relief. She thought it would be okay to touch her now, so moved her arm around Tara's waist and held her close to her chest.

Tara readily accepted the comfort.

"I thought…I thought…"

"I know," Willow replied in a comforting voice, "It was me, I jumped the gun and went in kicking and screaming and showed you no respect and yelled, god, I'm so sorry I yelled."

Tara sniffed.

"I-I yelled too. I-I've never…"

"Sshh," Willow replied soothingly, "It's okay. You were reacting to me and the…horrible things I said. I'll never forgive myself for those."

Tara had her head tucked under Willow's chin, but reached up to play with the ends of her hair.

"You were shocked. I understand."

"No…don't make excuses for me," Willow replied, marvelling that Tara was so ready to comfort her after everything, "It's a bad situation but I couldn't have possibly handled it any worse."

She kissed the side of Tara's head.

"You should rest. It's been a tough little while."

Tara looked down again.

"I'm so embarrassed."

"There's _nothing_ to be embarrassed about," Willow reassured, gently encouraging Tara up, "Come on, come lay down."

Tara let herself be led onto the bed to rest. She half-sat up against the pillows, which Willow fluffed.

"Will you s-sit with me?" Tara asked, nervously biting the skin around her thumb.

"Yeah, I will," Willow replied, more than grateful she'd been forgiven without even needing to ask.

She lay down beside Tara and put an arm across her waist, holding her hand on the other side. They were both quiet for a few minutes, appreciating how important being able to do such a simple act was.

They were like that for so long, Willow assumed Tara had fallen asleep and was too afraid to move and risk waking her, until a quiet voice spoke near her ear.

"Willow?"

Willow blinked a few times, then squeezed Tara's hand affectionately.

"Yeah, baby?"

Another silence dropped between them before Tara caught Willow's eye.

"What did she actually say?"

Willow winced.

"Just…things."

"S-sexual things," Tara clarified, gathering that much.

"Yes," Willow replied, and saw her girlfriend looking for elaboration, "Tara, I don't want to upset you again…"

She sighed when she saw Tara wasn't going to let it slide.

"Just that…that you tug on your own hair sometimes and that you kind of purr and just stuff like that," she rambled off quickly, "Just things."

Tara sensed more was said but decided she'd heard enough.

"I didn't even know I did that stuff."

Willow started to look around the room uncomfortably.

"Do you think she has a camera or something in here?"

Tara was suddenly on alert, thoroughly creeped out.

"Have you told anyone that stuff?" Tara asked, "Like Becky? Somewhere someone could overhear?"

Willow shook her head definitively.

"No, Tara, no way. That stuff is private. The only ones who know that stuff are me, you and my journal. And Mia apparent–" she started to say, but cut herself off when she saw Tara's eyes go wide, "What?"

"Your journal," Tara replied, her hand making a gentle fist around the fabric of Willow's shirt,

"I dropped it–" Willow began before the same look dawned on her face, "Or someone took it."

Tara nodded to indicate they were on the same page.

"The things she said," she started, cheeks turning pink at the thought of being written about like that, "A-are those things you wrote?"

"Yes. Yes!" Willow exclaimed, jumping right up and off the bed, "Oh my god, she didn't even, she didn't even change the words! It's what I wrote, word-for-word! That's why it sounded so familiar, that's why I was so sure it was true! It's exactly what I wrote!"

Willow paced back and forth for another few moments before suddenly dropping to her knees by the bed and hanging her head.

"Oh love, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you for a second."

Tara sat up in bed and dragged her knees up, dropping her forehead against them, forlorn herself.

"I-I can't believe this. I thought she was my friend. I had no idea. I feel so stupid. Stupid after stupid after stupid today. I made you think this could be true."

Willow came up and took Tara's hand again.

"No, Tara, she's been manipulating this whole thing right from the start. She's an actor, remember? Like, a real one. Now we know why she's taking the class, trying to get close to you. And why I always got tossed aside if I was around. And my stuff, my insecurities, they're not your fault. I should have talked to you."

"She always cut me off when I tried to talk about you," Tara replied, shaking her head to herself, "I just thought she was sad she didn't have someone. Have I mentioned I'm stupid?"

Willow climbed up beside Tara and wrapped her arms around her.

"You. Are Not. Stupid," she said, looking Tara square in the eye and falling in love with her all over again, "You see the best in people and that's...that's why I fell in love with you. That's why I want to love you for the rest of my life, if you'll let me."

She touched Tara's cheek to hers softly.

"I'm insecure, I'm really insecure but it's not a fraction of how I was like before I met you, so if you just give me some more time and keep loving me and fighting for me like you did today, I promise I'll try to be a better person."

Tara lifted her hand and put it on the back of Willow's neck.

"Willow, of course I will."

Willow took in a shaky breath and exhaled it softly in time with Tara. She thought she was calm but felt her fury reignite when she saw the lipstick on the back of Tara's sweater. She rolled away and kicked against the floor, needing to physically get it out.

"God, that bitch! That total snake! She totally set us up!"

Tara had followed Willow's eyeline and shuddered with disgust as she saw the red stains out of the corner of her eye. She started to claw it from her back and tossed it to the floor.

"B-Burn it or something. She must have taken it while I wasn't looking and planted lipstick on it."

Willow grabbed it and aggressively threw it into the trash.

"Thought if she got me to leave you that you'd be hers for the taking," she replied, the words spitting from her mouth, "Well think again, dumb bitch, because we're stronger than that."

Tara eyes glanced down.

"We almost weren't."

Willow smarted at that. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she just sighed and perched back at the end of the bed.

"I-I'm so sorry, Tara. I can't say that enough. I thought we'd had our first fight with the Dad stuff but that was nothing compared to this. I just...I blew up. I thought I heard proof even though there was no evidence. I got so scared and so mad, I loved you so much, the thought that it wasn't real, that it wasn't…I just couldn't…I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

Tara lifted her eyes to Willow's slowly.

"Loved?"

"Love," Willow corrected quickly, "Love. Love you. Past, present and future. As long as you'll let me."

Tara reached for Willow's hand.

"It's not 'letting'. I adore you," she said, still sniffling quietly, "You had all these concerns and I shoved them aside. Blew you off, thought you were over-thinking everything."

Willow smiled wryly.

"It's a pretty fair assumption, usually."

Tara wiped a thumb under her eye and caught a tear.

"I knew you were upset and I didn't–"

Willow cut her off with a soft kiss. She felt Tara inhale from the kiss and gently massaged the back of her neck until she felt they were both calm again.

"You know what?" she said, moving her hand around to Tara's cheek, "We're blaming ourselves for a situation we didn't cause. Okay, yes, handled badly, but not our fault. We're not who we should be mad at. I know, super late to that realisation, with the yelling, I know you hate the yelling, but–"

"I forgive you," Tara interrupted gently, ready to let go of the hurt.

Willow paused a moment, then accepted it with a soft smile.

"Thank you," she replied genuinely, "And you were only responding to me, but I know you feel bad. So I forgive you too."

"Thank you," Tara answered, it going yards to heal the emotional wounds.

They shared another kiss, reconnecting hearts and minds, then broke off to hug. They stayed like that for a long while, until Tara finally sighed into Willow's neck.

"I need to go talk to Mia."

Willow froze but tried to keep her voice reasoned.

"You? Alone?"

Tara moved from the embrace and got a new sweater to shield her from the winds outside.

"I just want to..." she started as she grabbed her keys, face scrunching in disgust, hidden to Willow, "I'll be back okay?"

Willow watched her leave without blinking.

She lasted ninety seconds before she bolted out the door to follow, tailing Tara across campus to Mia's dorm building.

Like before, she hid at the corner as she watched Tara knock on the door. Her breath caught as she waited for it to open.

Their make-up hadn't been a lie, a ploy, had it? It couldn't be. Everything Tara had said had been so honest, so real. She trusted her. She had to.

She waited for the scene to play out.

It wasn't what she expected.

In the best possible way.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Tara asked loudly and, for her, quite aggressively when the door had only been open half a second.

Mia's head snapped back, bewildered.

"Tara–"

"How dare you trick my girlfriend like that," Tara continued, eyes blazing like Willow had never seen.

Mia's eyes darted around beadily.

"Tara, come in and we can–"

"I don't want to be anywhere near you," Tara replied, a look of scorn crossing her face, "I liked you, I defended you, I thought you were my friend!"

Mia was very wary of the other people who were passing and staring in.

"Let me explain–"

"No, you don't get to explain. Actions speak louder than words," Tara replied, shaking her head, "I don't know why I didn't figure you out sooner, but it all makes sense now. You were playing a game the whole time."

Mia's eyes began to turn desperate.

"Tara, we can be together–"

"I don't want to be with you," Tara cut her off without hesitation, "Maybe we could have been friends if you'd been honest, but you messed with my girlfriend."

Tara took one step forward, close to Mia's face now.

"And _nobody_ messes with my girl."

Mia almost felt physically threatened by Tara's gaze, which was not an association she would ever have put with her 'friend'. She felt everything crumbling and glanced nervously at where she'd hidden the diary under her pillow. Tara was savvy enough to catch it and marched over, upturning the pillow and grabbing it.

"Hey, you can't–!"

"_This_ is my girlfriend's," Tara said, keeping a firm hold on it, "Have I said that enough for you? Girlfriend? Who's not you? Do you get it yet?"

Mia felt that sting and scowled.

"Look who she's turning you into! You're kind, sweet Tara, not this, this bitch!"

"_You_ turned me into this," Tara replied, fixing Mia with an angry gaze before she marched back out of the room, "And you're the bitch."

She left the room and planned to walk straight out, but stopped when she recognised a familiar shade of red poking out of the corner.

Willow saw she'd been caught and gulped. She stepped forward, wondering if she'd really done it this time.

"Tara…I'm…I'm sorry, I…"

Tara held her hand out for Willow to take.

"It's okay, I would have followed me too."

Willow threw her arms around Tara's neck and held on tight until she could blink away a couple of tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but caught sight of Mia snarling at them by the door first.

"Stay the hell away from us," Willow snapped, discreetly flipping Mia the bird behind Tara's back.

Mia looked like she wished she had something to throw at them, then spun around and slammed her door hard; hard enough to make Tara jump.

Tara looked over her shoulder and seemed to deflate on the spot, no more anger to give now Mia was out of sight.

"I-I was...I-I was mean–"

"You took charge for us," Willow cut her off slightly, voice choked, "That…that means a lot. A whole lot."

Tara decided she'd needed to be firm given the situation. She gave a little smile and offered the diary back.

"Here's your journal."

"Thanks," Willow replied softly, holding it close to her chest, "Take me home?"

Tara nodded and brushed her hand against Willow's cheek, then re-linked their fingers. They walked slowly and silently across campus, both glancing every so often at the other but looking away again before saying anything.

When they got back to their building, Willow went to open the door, but closed it again almost straight away and turned around. She didn't want the heavy air they were carrying to come in with them.

"Tara…" she started, nervously sliding her palm down her pants leg, "Is there any way things could…not be weird? Or is that just a given for a while? Because I would like for things not to be weird. I feel just awful but do we...do we have to feel just awful?"

Tara gave a soft shrug, eyes fixed on the floor.

"I don't know."

Willow turned Tara's hand over in hers and glanced around to make sure they were alone.

"I mean, we, we figured it all out and we said sorry and I know it's not a magical fix-all and maybe there's still a lot to work through because this was pretty big but–"

"Can we just skip it?" Tara asked, pulling gently on the ends of Willow's shirt and toying with the hem.

Willow slowly smiled.

"Yeah."

Tara took a step forward so she was pushing Willow's body back against the door with her own.

"Can you just be–"

She didn't get to finish as someone started to push at the doors from the other side, trying to remove the blockade.

Tara stumbled back and took Willow with her. The person on the other side pushed through and initially looked at them annoyed, but brightened when she saw who they were.

"Hey loveb–" Becky started to greet before quickly shutting her mouth, though her eyes cast down and noticed something, "You're holding hands…"

Willow smiled and squeezed their palms together.

"We're okay. Figured things out. Thanks for the kick up the butt."

"Well hallelujah!" Becky exclaimed, throwing her arms around them, utterly relieved - they were her shining light in the relationship arena, "Don't go scaring me like that again. What happened?"

Willow scowled.

"That girl stole my journal and just...she's just been messing with our heads. Playing this game, trying to get me out and Tara in with her. It all just came to a head today."

"Nasty!" Becky replied, looking equally as scornful, "Did you kick her ass?"

"Tara did!" Willow replied, quite excitedly, before quickly adding on when she saw the look on Tara's face, "Verbally, of course."

"Well go you, Tara," Becky replied, playfully tapping Tara's arm, impressed, "Hope you guys have a quieter evening. Hey, did you see the Halloween party notice?"

Willow and Tara exchanged blank looks.

"Check the noticeboard," Becky called back to them, already on her way to wherever she was going, "Bye!"

They walked in and over to the noticeboard, where Willow grabbed one of several colourful flyers pinned there.

"Eurgh. No thank you," she said, handing the flyer off to Tara as they walked back towards their room.

"What's a dorm party?" Tara questioned.

"People open the doors to their room and turn the whole dorm into party central," Willow replied, opening their door and standing aside to let Tara in, "Do you want–"

"No," Tara cut her off, dropping the flyer into the trash.

"Good, me either," Willow replied, relieved, "I'll find us something fun to go to. Did you celebrate Halloween when you were a kid?"

Tara walked over to the bed and started to smooth out the sheet from earlier.

"I didn't live near many other houses and kids were kinda scared to come to ours," she said, before further explaining, "My father shot birds and kept his gun around."

"Wow, no trick-or-treater fun there," Willow replied, flopping down on the bed and ruining most of Tara's good work, "My nanny let me dress up one year but my mom wasn't happy when she found out. Said encouraging too much imagination could lead to living in a fantasy world or blah blah blah who gives a rat's ass what she thinks. Anyway, wasn't much for the celebrating either. When I was a teenager I used to watch a lot of scary movies; that was my only Halloween rebellion."

Tara rolled her eyes playfully about the messed-up-again sheet and lay down beside Willow.

"That sounds fun."

Willow turned on her side to face Tara.

"We could go out somewhere while the party's on and come back and do that. They'll have to finish up like 11 for noise curfew, right?" she asked and got a confirming nod, "Great. Hey, let's dress up!"

"In costumes?" Tara asked warily.

Willow nodded keenly.

"Yeah, it'll be so fun! And it doesn't matter where we end up going; everyone is dressed up on Halloween."

Tara couldn't deny the shine in Willow's eye.

"Okay, if you really want–"

"Yay!" Willow replied without even waiting for her to finish, clapping excitedly, "You won't regret it!"

Tara sat on the corner of the bed and traced patterns in Willow's palm.

"Been a long day."

Willow swallowed guiltily.

"I know. C'mere and rest."

Tara shuffled up and lay next to her like they had earlier.

"This is the only time I know things are going to be okay. When I'm with you like this. You're my safe place."

Willow gently ran her hand up and down Tara's arm.

"I'm sorry I threatened that. And glad that I still can be."

"You don't need to say sorry anymore," Tara replied softly, nuzzling into Willow's shoulder, "Just don't let go."

Willow turned her head enough to inhale from the top of Tara's and filled her voice with all the promise she had.

"Never."

She tugged Tara's shirt slightly so they were lying right alongside each other, nose to nose, which were gently nuzzling against one another.

"I love you, Tara," Willow whispered, hand smoothing down Tara's hair onto her arm, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Willow," Tara replied, pressing her lips sweetly against Willow's, "I love being next to you. I love sleeping next to you. I love kissing you."

Willow licked her lips softly.

"Why don't I try to cover all three?

Tara smiled her first real smile in a while and brushed some hair from Willow's face, taking in a slow savouring of her girlfriend's beauty with her eyes. Willow always felt like the most beautiful thing on the planet when Tara looked at her like that and completely melted when their lips finally touched.

They shared soft kisses; each filled with their own kind of quiet passion, deep warmth and pure love until Tara had fallen into a gentle sleep, with Willow not far behind her.

Holding in her arms the most precious thing she'd had in all her life, she vowed to be the best person she could be and to forgive herself as Tara had so graciously forgiven her.

Her air was heavy with the weight of their love and Willow found it entrancingly warm. Her lids were quickly closing, but not before she thought of the last question she asked her infamous journal. Already in the delightful haze of the beginning of slumber, she rested their cheeks together, mouth by Tara's ear.

"You're all mine."


	41. Chapter 41 - An Interlude

**Willara4ever** – Becky's good for as ass kicking, that's for sure! Glad you enjoyed it! :) :)

**gimpy72** – Hey, like she said, nobody messes with Tara's girl

**StephenPG** – _39:_ I know, it pained me to write me. That's why I had the other one up faster, I had to just keep writing to get them in a better place, I couldn't take it.

_40:_ It was hard, but I'm glad they got through it. I second your yays! And that's a good idea, but she'll sabotage herself first!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – You're the second person who said they wanted to slap her :P Man, poor Willow, I never portray her in the best of lights, do I? I dunno about that, I'd prefer drama happening to me than to Willow and Tara to be honest, I can't handle too much of their heartbreak!

**SonyaG** – You're very kind, thank you :) Punk-ass is being kind, I think, she's all kinds of horrible. Hold up for the next chapter, she'll get some comeuppance. And I agree, Mr. Maclay is lucky he gets so many years of freedom before they meet again.

* * *

_NOTE:_ _I had less time to piece together the whole next chapter, which has some delicate points, so I humbly offer you this interlude instead._

* * *

**_~Later That Evening~_**

* * *

Tara wasn't sure what time it was when she woke, but the sun had set and the room only had the glow of Willow's laptop beside her.

She blinked a few times to let her eyes adjust, but quickly noticed how eerily-still Willow was; knees up and staring intently at the screen. Tara sat up, but Willow made no effort to move or acknowledge her.

Tara looked at the screen and saw just a maroon background at first, but it didn't take her long to notice a particular name and some other details on a grid along with class names there too.

"What's that?" she asked softly.

Willow was still unmoving, but was twitching slightly.

"Grades hub."

Tara nodded; that was what she suspected.

"What did you change?"

Willow shook her head but her eyes stayed on the screen.

"Nothing. I promised I wouldn't."

Tara sat up fully and put a hand on Willow's arm.

"How come you…whatever it's called when you…break into websites."

Willow suddenly slammed her computer closed.

"Because I wanted to feel like I was doing something!" she replied in a miserable tone.

Tara gave Willow's shoulder a squeeze.

"Willow…"

Willow dropped her head to her knees.

"I didn't and I won't, but I can't say I don't want to. I just won't break my promise."

Tara was glad Willow wasn't going to go down that route, but felt slightly troubled by the reasoning.

"Honey, I don't want you to feel like I'm holding our relationship over you if you don't do exactly as I say."

Willow's head lifted.

"Why can't I just mess her around a little? She deserves it."

Tara touched Willow's hair affectionately.

"Let's leave out whether it's right or wrong or she deserves it or doesn't; you'll get caught out and you'll get in serious trouble. I'm only concerned about you."

Willow scowled then sighed; she was sure she knew her way around a computer, but she was surer that Tara had her best interests at heart, misguided as she thought they were.

"Okay, fine."

"Don't be mad," Tara said, leaving a kiss on Willow's cheek.

Willow gently nuzzled against Tara's lips.

"I'm not mad," she replied, feeling a little calmer, "I'm not. There's been enough anger today. And hurt."

She glanced to Tara, and took her hand, drawing circles in her girlfriend's palm to distract herself from her real source of anger; herself.

"I really scared you a couple of times, didn't I? I mean…you know, of the threaten-y kind."

Tara played with Willow's foot under the blanket since her hand was occupied.

"It's not your fault I have a few bad memories."

"No, but it is my fault if I act in a way that reminds you," Willow replied, swallowing a lump in her throat.

Tara leaned over and kissed Willow's cheek again, repeatedly pressing her lips against her girlfriend's soft skin.

"Well, then it's fair that it's my fault when I don't listen and make you feel like you're worthy enough to have a voice," she said, finding Willow's eyes, "Those are your bad memories, aren't they?"

Willow looked away, but Tara kept her gaze.

"You don't talk about it much."

"It's nothing like what you went through," Willow was quick to establish.

"It's not a competition," Tara replied, moving her hand up to touch Willow's cheek.

Willow let herself take the comfort but didn't linger.

"Yeah, it hurt growing up, but it's over."

"Even when it's over, sometimes it still comes up," Tara replied, putting her hand around Willow's waist and lying them both down right by each other, "I get that more than anyone."

Neither said a word for a few minutes, until Willow's voice cracked through the silence.

"Mom…Mom. Ha. She wasn't 'Mom', she was 'mother'. A role, nothing more. Dad was 'Dad' at least when 'mother' wasn't around. Then he had to be 'father'. There were some nice times with him, but it's hard to remember the good among all the…'bad' is probably too strong a word, but…maybe apathy. They didn't care about Willow, they cared about 'daughter'."

"I care about Willow," Tara replied softly, linking their fingers, "My Willow, who had a traumatic day and at the end of it is only worried about me."

Willow sighed softly.

"It's...not. You're nothing like my parents…actually, maybe you get it. It's not that I'm expecting you to act like my parents, but all I know is that they did. So it was either them, or me. And I can't explain why they acted like they did, but give me enough time and I'll come with a thousand reasons why I caused it."

Tara rubbed her thumb over Willow's skin.

"You don't have to live by a rule where you're trying to convince me you're worthy. I love you 'cause you're you; I love you because you're passionate and fiery even though it comes with a temper; I love how much you love, even though it can cloud your clarity sometimes; I love that even after…after how horrible an experience it must have been to be told those things in such a crude manner…that even if it took a little probing, that you came back to talk," she said, meeting Willow's eyes with a smile, "Hey, I knew what I getting involved with when I started dating a redhead."

Willow finally cracked a smile and lifted their joined hands up to kiss the back of Tara's. She squeezed their palms together and leaned over to gently press their lips together.

"'Promises mean something to me'. You told me that on our first date. I won't make a promise lightly and I won't ever break one I make to you. That's something I don't even have to think about. I promised I won't use my hacker skills on Mia, I'd actually just like to forget all about her if that's at all possible, but I promised and I'm committed to that promise, just like I'm committed to you and hey do you want to get a pet?"

Tara stared at Willow silently for a few seconds.

"Do I want to get a pet?"

Willow seemed just as surprised as Tara.

"Yep. Those were the words that came out of my mouth."

"Like a dog?" Tara asked, eyes narrowing in thought.

Willow wasn't entirely sure where her question had even come from, but considered the response.

"Well, I don't think we could sneak a dog into the dorms. There'd be barking and whatnot, a cat probably too. We'd have to train it and it could ruin the floor or scratch up all the furniture and we'd be responsible."

"So… a fish?" Tara asked, wondering if she was following the train of thought correctly.

"Yeah, like a fish!" Willow replied eager, but then held her free hand up in a 'stop' motion, "Tara I have exactly zero idea why I brought this up. I was just thinking about really wanting you to know I'm committed to you after everything that happened and kablamo, just came out. We can forget about it."

Tara was smiling.

"No, I like it. Let's get a fish."

"Really? Awesome!" Willow replied, enthused by her own out-of-the-blue idea, "I bet there's a pet store nearby, I can look it up in the morning. We could go before class."

Tara let out a soft exhale.

"…drama class."

Willow immediately shook her head, smile still lighting up her face.

"No, shush, we're thinking about happy things, like our fish."

The thought was niggling at the back of Tara's mind still, but the look on Willow's face made up for everything.

"What kind of fish should we get?"

"I don't know, what do you think?" Willow asked excitedly, "Maybe I should look it up now…"

* * *

Willow marched up to the counter at the pet store and threw down a $50 bill.

"I want one of your finest fish, please!"

The man behind the counter looked amused, but like he was trying to conceal it.

"Do you know what type you're looking for?"

"Uh, no," Willow admitted sheepishly, while Tara stood at the large tank at the other side of the store, "I researched but there were a lot of options."

"Do you have a tank or any fish already?" the clerk asked.

"Nope," Willow replied, "First time fish owners here."

"Do you plan on more?" he asked and Willow shook her head, "How much space are you looking at?"

Willow made a spherical shape with her hands.

"Um, well, I was thinking, you know, a bowl."

"Limited space?" the clerk asked and Willow nodded.

"Yes. Dorm room small."

The clerk brought Willow over to the tank, quite close to where Tara was already standing.

"These are Siamese Fighting fish. They're pretty good if you only have a small space."

Willow put her palms flat against the glass.

"Whoa, check out those colours!"

Tara sidled up next to Willow.

"They're very pretty."

"They like heated water, and don't need much maintenance," the clerk explained to them, "They live for up to four years, but don't get on very well with other fish."

A vibrant fish swam up near Willow's hands.

"Hey look, it likes me!"

"It's blue and green, kinda like us," Tara pointed out.

Willow's eyes lit up like a child on Christmas.

"We'll take it!" she announced, before turning to Tara, "I mean, um, will we take it?"

Tara nodded, so Willow turned giddily to the clerk.

"What stuff do we need?"

He took them around the store to get bowl, suggested some live plants to have in with it, a small heater, the food pellets and a water conditioner to keep it healthy. He then got them their fish in a half-filled plastic bag, which Tara held and watched their new addition swim around.

Willow carried the accessories back to their dorm, and followed the instructions to a T when getting it set up.

"Careful, careful, careful," she said as Tara gently placed the bag in their new fish bowl.

Tara waited until the fish was swimming around before removing the baggie again. Willow clapped excitedly and bent down on her knees to watch it swim.

"So not mega on the adorable scale, but who needs to see a kitten yawn? Besides, this is relaxing and no sharp claws," she said, quite taken with the fish's striking colours, "We need to give her a name. What's a good fish name? Mrs. Bubbles? Princess Atlantis?"

"Ms. Fishy Fantastico?" Tara suggested, sitting on the desk chair to watch too.

Willow grinned.

"I like it. Hello Ms. Fishy Fantasico."

They watched their fishy swim around its new home, until Tara noticed Willow's eyes were glassy.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Willow shook her head, rolling her eyes at herself.

"It's silly," she said, but a smile broke through, "I feel like a family."

As nice as their fish was, Tara knew the gesture meant a lot more than just it having a new home for it to swim in. It was a symbol of how their relationship went through the bad and came out shining as brightly as Ms. Fishy Fantastico on the other side.

She took Willow's arm and gently pulled her up. Willow thought she was being pulled up for a hug, but was instead tugged onto Tara's lap and embraced that way. Tara held Willow by the waist, arms circling tight around her.

"We are."

* * *

_Note: Miss Kitty lovers, please don't hate me. If I introduced her here, some tragedy would have to befall her to explain why she's gone by the start of Hacker, so I went down the less ominous route!_


	42. Chapter 42

**tjwiltshire** – Your reaction is excellent :P

**gimpy72 **– I'm glad you like her fishy alternative! Drama class will have…drama.

**Guest** – Haha, glad you liked it. It actually wasn't my intention when I first introduced Lucas, but hey, when an opportunity presents itself…Glad to have you on board!

**Queenphoenix08** – They did and they do! I'm glad you like the fishy, I was worried people wouldn't take to it as well! :)

**StephenPG** – Unfortunately, not without some collateral damage...There will be no flushing! ;)

**Dirty Tube Socks **– My intention is to show them both in a normal, 'human' light, but I know I tend towards favouring Tara. It's something I don't even realise 'til I take a step back and go 'shit, the argument is always Willow's fault' or 'shit, why is it always Willow that needs to apologise'. But if people are seeing mostly her good, then that's great, because she is good.

Ha, I don't know if I'm nice, but I do know I get more upset about their trouble that my own. Which is very unhealthy and you should be glad you feel otherwise.

Last season? You mean the last episode where they have a lot of sex and live happily ever after? ;)

* * *

Willow watched Tara tap a pencil nervously against the table.

The same action she'd been doing since they had first sat down, her eyes darting every so often to the door to check if Mia had come in yet. Willow put her hand over Tara's and stroked her thumb gently.

"Just keep your head down, baby," she encouraged, "Don't even look at her."

Tara's face was ashen.

"I'll have to be in the play with her. I can't back out twice."

Willow's eyes flashed with fury.

"Well she shouldn't be in this god damn class to begin with. We should tell the professor, you know!" she replied tetchily, but saw it didn't help Tara much, "Just think about Ms. Fishy and relax. We'll worry about the other stuff later."

The pencil stilled and Tara let it rest, then leaned back in her chair.

"Okay. You're right."

"Yeah, better get used to it," Willow replied with a smile, "Save my moments of complete insanity."

"We agreed on quirky," Tara replied, matching her smile, but it faltered when a shadow suddenly loomed over them.

Mia stood there, face harder than it had ever been, hands on her hips and chin lifted high.

"I thought I'd give you a chance to apologise."

Willow had planned to take her own advice and ignore Mia, but couldn't help scoffing at that.

"Apologise? You're the one that needs to apologise, not that we're interested in hearing it!"

Mia's arms crossed over her chest.

"You don't want to mess with me. Apologise in front of everyone right now and I might consider walking away as the bigger person."

Willow stood up, not wanting to Mia to think she was being intimidating.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a person. Bite me."

"Willow, please sit down," Tara said, gently tugging on Willow's shirt.

Willow remained standing and looked to Mia challengingly, who smirked.

"You think that do you? Well I happen to think...or know...a few things that I think everyone would find it just fascinating to hear. Things I had a chance to...read."

Willow fists balled tighter, but she wasn't about to step down and let Mia humiliate her again.

"Oh shut up, Mia. Nobody cares what you have to say."

The room had gone completely silent now, everyone's eyes peeled to the scene playing out. Tara tugged on Willow's shirt again, but her girlfriend was rooted to the spot stubbornly.

Mia cocked her head and laughed, keeping her gaze on Willow. She wouldn't look at Tara; that would make her feel the hurt of being rejected and not the anger she could lash on Willow.

Not that Tara would escape her wrath.

"Oh no, really," Mia replied to Willow, grinning in a way that could easily resemble a psychopath, "I mean it was all so _interesting_."

She brought her hands up to her face then and rubbed under her eyes as if she'd been crying.

"Like how poor icle Tawa cwies when she comes sometimes 'cause she just can't handle all the emotion," she said mockingly, then sneered, "Or at least that's what she tells you. You're probably just a lot worse than you even realise."

Tara's eyes shut tight and she sunk down in her chair, bright red. Willow was red too, but from pure anger.

"Stop it."

"Oh, but I've only started," Mia replied with that almost -frightening, condescending smile, "Because when Tara's not crying, she's screaming. Quite the screamer, really. Just can't keep her mouth closed. Or her legs."

She said the last part with a snarl and Tara was near tears, though Willow was too mad to see, a vein pulsing in her forehead.

"I mean it Mia, be quiet."

"Nope," Mia replied, sitting back on a desk and swinging her legs like she was having a casual conversation, "I'm only starting. So much to share. Like how poor Tara's Daddy beat her black and blue and now she likes to be spanked–"

Willow grabbed Mia's shirt then and yanked her up, not seeing Tara jump from her seat and fleeing from the room.

"I said shut the hell up! Shut up! You have no right, none!"

The professor walked through the door just as a blur flew by her, though her eyes were beady and recognised it.

"Tara, class is starting," she called after her, but it was too late; the blur had disappeared around a corner.

The professor tutted and shook her head, but her attention was pulled away as she took another step into the classroom, just in time to see Mia push Willow down to the floor and hear them screaming at each other.

She rushed up and stood between them.

"Separate at once," she commanded, keeping them at arms-length apart as Willow scrambled to stand up.

Willow snarled at Mia but didn't dare question that a teacher, until she noticed the now-empty seat.

"Tara?" she asked, looking around as if expecting her to appear.

One of the guys sitting behind them caught her eye, she thought his name was Joel, who had been about to offer Tara a tissue when she'd left.

"She ran out, she was pretty upset."

"And I will assume she had a medical emergency to which she's gotten attention for," the professor spoke calmly, deciding enough class time had been wasted, "Now you will both sit."

Willow shook her head furiously.

"I have to find Tara."

"Miss Rosenberg, I would sit on the other side of the room without a sound and come see me after class," the professor replied, fixing her with a firm glare, "And that is not a suggestion."

Willow hesitated, eyes darting to the door, but the professor clapped soundly once.

"Now, Miss Rosenberg. You too, Miss Cook. Not a peep from either of you."

Willow resisted the urge to stamp her foot, and grabbed her book bag from the floor. She sulked off to the other side of the room. She waited a few minutes for things to settle and the professor to be distracted, then sneakily took her phone out.

**_Baby are you okay? She's making me stay, I'll come find you asap. Please let me know you're okay._**

She kept her phone in hand and stared at the screen, waiting for it to light up, but it didn't.

The class seemed to stretch on forever until they were finally dismissed. Willow tried to make a run for it, but the professor was one step ahead, stopping her and Mia.

"In my office. Both of you. Now."

Willow tried not to sigh and make things worse for herself. She kept her eyes down as they walked to the professor's office, not taking a single look in Mia's direction for fear she wouldn't be able to stop herself from lunging.

"You sit there," Riggin said to Willow, pointing at a chair outside as they got to the office, then looked to Mia, "Amelia, I'll speak with you first."

The two went inside and Willow brought out her phone again, calling Tara this time. It went to voicemail.

"Tara?" she whispered, not wanting to draw any more attention to herself, "If you listen to this, I'm coming as soon as I can. Please be okay, I love you."

She hung up and waited anxiously for a reply. None came.

After several long minutes, the door swung open and Mia marched out, livid. She stopped once to glare at Willow.

"If I ever see either of you two…sluts…again…!" she said threateningly, then stomped off, her whole body swinging with the intensity of her rage.

The professor walked calmly out a moment later.

"Willow, I'll see you now."

Willow grabbed her bag and followed her into the office. She took the seat indicated and nervously tapped her fingers together while the professor walked around the desk to her seat.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"What did she say?" Willow asked.

"I want to know what you have to say," Riggin replied evenly.

Willow took in a breath.

"Okay, well, it all started like back when semester started, Mia was always hanging around us, that's me and Tara, we're um, dating, if you didn't know. Anyway, things were weird but I didn't say anything until yesterday when I couldn't find my journal and I thought I lost it but she'd, she'd really taken it and tried to use the information to make me leave Tara and we got into a huge fight but then we resolved it and Tara confronted her and took the journal back and then she came marching into class this morning and started revealing private things about Tara and I got mad and told her to stop and I grabbed her, which, okay, shouldn't have done, but she pushed me and kicked me, she really did–"

"I saw that," Riggin interrupted with a short nod.

"Right," Willow nodded, "Um, well you kinda walked in then, when Tara left. So. Yeah."

The professor had gotten all the information she needed and more from a ranting and raving Mia, so had mostly considered the situation already.

"A physical altercation is a very serious incident," she said calmly, "However, given some information I learned, I don't think we need to escalate this. You're on a warning. Keep your head down, Miss Rosenberg."

Willow let out a slow breath of relief.

"I'll excuse Tara from class this once given what I heard, but just once," the professor continued, "It will not become a habit."

"I don't know if she'll come back," Willow replied honestly.

"It wouldn't be advisable for her to drop the class now," Riggin replied, arms folded atop the desk, "It might encourage her to know that Miss Cook won't be returning."

"Oh," Willow replied, surprised, "Really?"

"Yes, well, she's at an academic level above this class," Riggin replied, not giving too much away, though with a little intuition, it wasn't hard to tell she was humiliated that she'd been deceived, "She was wrongly placed here and had already completed it. She will not return."

Willow rolled her eyes.

"Yeah right, it was all to get close to Tara. At least tell me she's in trouble?"

Riggin stood up.

"Your personal lives need to stay out of the classroom and I cannot discuss another student with you. I have informed Amelia that any other altercation or action on either of your parts' should be seen in the harshest of lights."

Willow stood too, inferring she was correct.

"Okay. Uh, I'm sorry," she replied, hiding her smile, though it fell completely a moment later, "Um, can I go find Tara now?"

The professor nodded once.

"You are dismissed. I don't want to have to see you here again."

"Right. Won't. Promise," Willow said back, already out the door.

Her feet hit the floor running, bag jostling on her back as she skidded around corners and across paths until she was back at the dorms, hoping Tara was there.

She rushed into the room, which was empty and showed no signs of anyone being there.

"Damn it…" she swore under her breath, until she realised there was a sound coming from the side.

She walked over to the bathroom and poked her head in, seeing Tara sitting on the floor of the shower, knees up and head down, curled into a ball. Willow let out a sigh of relief and tossed her bag away, then walked in and knocked on the glass.

When she got no response, she reached in, but her hand snapped back immediately.

"Tara, the water's freezing!"

Tara didn't so much as flinch. Willow tried to pull at her a few times, before quickly stripping off and stepping in when the worry got too much. She took the brunt of the cold water on her back.

"Tara?" she asked, trying to lift her girlfriend's head up and see her eyes, "Tara, baby, it's me, please tell me you're okay."

Tara remained completely motionless for another few seconds before finally looked up, eyes red and puffy.

"Stop it, you'll get cold."

"Yeah, pot, kettle, black, missy!" Willow retorted, reaching up and turning the nozzle off, "Come on, out. Girlfriend-y foot is going down. Robe. You. In it."

Tara let herself be ordered into a robe and out of the bathroom to rest on the bed.

"What's with the iceberg shower?" Willow asked, drying herself off and getting some clothes back on.

Tara was still quite forlorn but was quiet about it.

"The heat cut out. I used to get in trouble for crying. He couldn't hear me in the shower. I got used to them."

Willow stopped as she felt her heart break. She left the pants she was putting on fall away and climbed onto the bed behind Tara and held her.

"Oh Tara," she said, cradling Tara's head and gently kissing her neck for comfort.

They rocked silently for a moment, but Willow felt the need to fill it.

"I talked to the professor. Mia's out of class. No seeing her, no play with her, and she got warned to stay away from us."

Tara nodded weakly in acknowledgement but Willow could tell it didn't do much to ease the hurt.

"It's college. There'll be a new scandal next week. Nobody said anything in class. They were just worried about you, really. I know it doesn't make it better."

They lapsed into silence again, but Willow sensed not to break it this time. She comforted Tara with hugs and kisses.

"I hate…that she knows stuff," Tara said eventually, sniffling, "A-And now everyone in class..."

"I know, baby, I know," Willow gently soothed, "I do too. But we have to just forget about it. I mean, if you can. We can't let her keep hurting us..."

She rubbed circles on Tara's back for another few moments.

"Which is why…"

She leaned back and pulled the drawer of her nightstand out. She took out her journal and presented it to Tara.

"Here. Read it."

Tara looked at the offering, wide-eyed.

"Oh, Willow, no–"

"No, really," Willow insisted, "And it's not because of her, I was thinking about this last night. You're the person I want to know me better than anyone. So you get to read it."

She left it in Tara's hands, who stared down at it, then offered it back.

"Maybe you should think about it."

Willow shook her head.

"You can wait if you want. But that's yours now. I'm not even writing in it anymore."

Tara's eyes creased.

"Willow, you love your journal."

Willow nodded.

"Uh huh. I do. And I'll keep writing it. On my computer. On an encrypted file. Heavily encrypted," she replied, smiling easily, "Read it or don't, it's up to you. But my heart is open to you."

Tara looked down at the journal, then held it up to her chest with a soft smile.

"Okay. Thank you," she said sincerely, unsure yet whether she would open it, "If you're really sure?"

"I really am," Willow replied, a little nervous to reveal all her ramblings but knowing it was right, and even excited to have herself be laid out, knowing Tara would love her still.

Tara smiled bashfully at being so trusted and leaned over to press a kiss against Willow's cheek.

"I'll treasure every word."

Willow turned her head to meet her lips, but only got a smooch for a minute or two before Tara gently pulled away.

"You have Chem Lab."

"Hey, look at you, memorising my schedule," Willow replied with a big smile, and waved a hand dismissively, "I'll miss it."

Tara shot her a look.

"No you won't."

"I-I can stay. Really," Willow replied, though her resolve was fading.

Tara shook her head.

"I'm just going to mope and feel sorry for myself until I can forget about it all," she replied, cupping Willow's hands and bringing them up to kiss between the knuckles, "Go, that class is attendance graded, isn't it?"

Willow went back and forth in her mind for a few moments before jumping up.

"Okay," she said, then looked around and found Tara's cell on the desk, handing it to her, "Answer it if I call."

Tara took it and noted the missed calls on the screen.

"Sorry."

"And text if you need me. Promise?" Willow asked.

Tara nodded.

"I will."

"Okay. Well, I'll be back after class," Willow replied, getting her bag back over her shoulders, "Love you, Tare-bear."

"I love you too, Willow," Tara replied, blowing a kiss across the room.

Willow smiled, caught it and left with a wave.

Tara lay back down on the bed and sighed. She glanced at the journal, lying beside her.

She was still highly embarrassed by what had happened, but Willow being so trusting with her went a long way to get rid of the hurt.

She picked it up.

_She said I could…_

She looked long and hard at the plain black-and-white cover before finally opening it, noticing the familiar neat scrawl on the first page.

* * *

_Baby,_

_I'm not writing your name just in case...but I don't plan on letting other people read this. This is just for me, to get out my thoughts to you._

_You're lying sleeping beside me right now. I love your bed, you know that? It's the comfiest. I always kinda thought I'd hate sharing a bed, all cramped and kicky and blanket tug-y. But it's not, it's warm and cuddly and all of the good. That's just because of you, though. You just told me all about your 'family'. Pfft, some family. But you showed me your mom's journal, and I realised I wanted a 'you' one too. So here I am, writing to you. Hoping that one day you'll call me 'family' too…_

* * *

Tara paused, a small smile playing on her lips and continued to flick through.

* * *

_Honey,_

_Well...rough day. I betrayed you. Fished around when you asked me not to. I'm so happy you forgave me, I don't know why you did, but you did. Gave me another chance. Never thought about it much before but I don't think many people have offered me those...or I haven't ever felt like I would be given one..._

* * *

_You,_

_You! Yes, you! You, bringing me to make out with the books! In front of them, and the librarian! Oh, you...you..._

* * *

_Love,_

_I get to call you that now! Love! Because I love, love, love you and you love, love, love me. You told me, I can't believe you told me! 'Cept I kinda can and it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. I hope you don't mind if I say it a lot, I'm kinda obsessed…_

* * *

_Beautiful,_

_Watching you sleep again. But it's a lot different this time. A little because you're naked but mostly 'cause of what we just shared. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. I don't even know what to say other than wow…_

* * *

_...so great living with you. I was never much of a sharer, but I don't want anything to be mine if it's possible for it to be ours..._

* * *

_...meant what I said, love the living-ness, but god, baby, can you just put the cap back on the toothpaste? I love you and everything but a girl has her limits..._

* * *

_...I will never eat shrimp again. Not risking it, not ever, nope. You're too precious. My heart was breaking thinking about you having your...I can't even write it...I'm weak...not strong like you..._

* * *

_...been taking sneaky photographs of you. You're just soooo pretty. They're not naked or anything, not that I wouldn't say no..._

* * *

_…ugh…ugh…UGH! WHY WAS HE NAKED!? Is this karma for writing I wanted naked pics of you? Because she is a cruel mistress if showing me Mr. Ding-A-Ling was my punishment!..._

* * *

_…-ucking terrified! You can't even know, my heart stopped, I swear! I couldn't grab you in time and then you just splashed so loud and I thought you were drowning! I'll tell you something Tara, I can't ever feel that again, I can't, I don't care what I have to do. You won't be hurt. I swear it…_

* * *

_...keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming! That's what I wanted to say to you when you were batting around like a fish but I didn't think you'd seen Finding Nemo...you should, you're funnier than Dory and cuter than Nemo and cooler than Crush, I really mean it! We can watch it together..._

* * *

_…so hot…and I feel kinda bad writing about you like this so much, but do you even realise how sexy you are? Glad this is of the write-y and not of the speak-y, but sometimes I get so wet looking at you I have to change my panties…_

* * *

___…_and that's when I saw them, our kids. Us playing with our kids, there on the beach. And I wanted them. I really did. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I want kids, I want our kids. A boy and a girl, maybe more. I never thought about being a mom before, I didn't exactly have the best role model, but you'd be a great mom. And I think I could be too, with you…

* * *

_…I still brush it off, how they treated me. Or didn't treat me, I guess. It's my Dad I miss the most, the time we had when I was really little. Before he decided I was old enough to be ignored. I guess when I started getting good grades, I stopped being a daughter and started being an achievement. But learning to ride my bike, even though I broke my arm, it's one of my happiest memories because we were together…_

* * *

_…God, Becky can be such a bitch sometimes. But she was there for me when no one else was, and she never dismissed me as a nerd or a geek or anything else the others all called me. And she never means bad, but I promise, I'll really try to get her to stop with the teasing, I know it makes you uncomfortable. Can't make any promises, but I'll do anything I can to make you happy. I love you…_

* * *

_…think you'll be such a great social worker. You don't talk about it much, but it's so amazing that you can take everything you went through and channel it into wanting to help others get out of it. That kind of kindness and empathy is mind-boggling to me. I don't think I could do it. Heck, I don't even know what I want to do…_

* * *

_…yeah, well, I hope you're right about her and she doesn't end up being some kind of stalker. I know you have good reason, but it still kind of hurt that you didn't trust me not to snoop. Even though you were right, I was going to. Complete hypocrite and nonsensical here, but there you go…_

* * *

_…church? No, that wouldn't make any sense, why would we get married in a church. Temple maybe? I wouldn't mind. A rabbi would be nice. Would you mind if we had a rabbi? Hey look at me, asking you what kind of wedding you'd like when I haven't even asked you to marry me. That's funny, huh? I didn't even think...just knew (hoped?) that it's a given. I certainly want it to be..._

* * *

_…never realised how selfish I was before I met you. I never had reason to think about much else, but now I do. I promise, even when I'm a dope, you're the first thing on my mind…_

* * *

_…laugh. Love your laugh so much…_

* * *

_…when your hair just catches the moonlight or the sunlight, I swear you're an angel, for real…_

* * *

_…she likes you, she does. And watching you now I really wonder if you like her too…_

* * *

_…I'm your girl. I'll always be your girl. And when you kissed me just now, I felt like you gave me forever. Your kisses always feel like that. Does that even make sense? Can a kiss give that kind of promise? Because it sure feels like it did. And if it did, I'm holding you to it…_

* * *

_…forgetting about all that stupid stuff. No matter what we go through, I know we have each other. I believe that now more than ever. I love you, beautiful…_

* * *

Tara was noticing a trend, a phrase repeated at least once per page.

* * *

_…I love you…_

_…I love you…_

_…I love you…_

* * *

_...Yup, still writing. This is gonna be my last entry, at least in my 'trusty' notebook. After everything...well, after everything my confidence in computer passwords has increased. I don't want to dampen my last entry so I'll say this: That was one of the roughest things I've, we've, ever gone through, and yeah, it really, really sucked. But you know what? We got through it. We did. That means something. That counts..._

* * *

_...I love you,_

_Your Willow_

* * *

By the time Tara was looking through the last pages, the ink still fresh from the night before, tear drops were staining the paper. Willow returned just in time to see one splash.

"No, no, it wasn't supposed to make you cry!" she exclaimed, throwing her bag on the floor and rushing over, "Is it, is it the toothpaste thing? Because I was only griping, it doesn't really bother me that you leave the cap off, it just, it gets all crusty, but it's fine, it's totally fine, it's better that way in fact! Please don't cry."

Tara laughed and scooted over far enough to wrap her arms around Willow.

"Oh," Willow said, relaxing under Tara's touch, "Good tears?"

Tara sniffed.

"Yeah."

They hugged for a minute or two before Tara pulled back and picked the journal up, marvelling at it again.

"They're all letters to me."

Willow shrugged bashfully.

"Well like I said. You're the person I want to know me best. You're the person I want to tell things do…out loud or on paper. That's how it's always been."

Tara came across another profession of love on a page and decided something.

"Do you have plans for the evening?"

Willow shook her head.

"Why?"

"I want…I want to open up, like you did," Tara replied shyly, "If you want to listen."

Willow was quick to nod.

"Yeah, I'd love to."

They lay face-to-face and spent some time in companionable silence for a while before Tara began to speak, reciting memories of the little and big moments from her life. Willow listened, smiling when Tara did and offering comfort when she felt it was needed.

"My first memory is when I was about three. My mom waking me up singing. It's pretty hazy, but it's there. We loved to sing together whatever we were doing; washing or baking or homework even. She made up a song to help me with my fractions…

…I didn't really have any friends growing up. A few came over once in first or second grade but never wanted to come back after my Dad came home and shouted at my Mom for letting them. Never wanted to talk to me at all actually. I didn't mind too much, while my Mom was around anyway…

…I always had a stutter, as long as I can remember. It was never too bad, like how it is now, until my mom died. It got worse after that, but it's getting better again now. It was sort of a blessing actually. People got so sick of waiting for me to speak, they stopped asking. I always figured that was a good thing but looking back, maybe it wasn't…

…They used to fight. My dad was always stern, but my mom never backed down. She wasn't afraid of him. I think I survived so long after she died because I tried to be like her, but it was an act. I was scared. Really scared…

…I remember it pretty clearly. I walked out of school and almost ran back in because my Dad was waiting there instead of my Mom. But he spotted me and dragged me to the car. Threw me in the backseat and didn't say a word the whole drive to the hospital. I had no idea where we were going. When we got there he shoved me in the door of the room where her body was and said 'She's dead. Say goodbye 'cause you'll never see her again'. Then he disappeared. A nurse found me and sat with me. I didn't cry. I think I was too shocked. I just held her hand 'til they took her away…

…He made me do the clearing out after the funeral. Didn't want a single thing of hers left in the house. I know he had pain too, she was his wife, but he was just cruel. I think that was when he realised he had a little slave on his hands. 'Little' being operative, he knew I wouldn't fight back. He knew he could control me. It wasn't all bad though, I did get to keep what I could sneak out, that's how I got her journal…

…I don't know what to say about the…the abuse. As long as I kept the house clean and food on the table, I could get away with threats and menacing stares. He liked to 'warn' with slaps. It was when he got drunk that it got the worst, he'd lash out. Get me cowered into a ball, punch and kick me. That's how I got the concussions, kicks to the head. The wrist break was when he pushed me down the stairs. My fingers when he stood on my hand…"

They had moved from face-to-face to side-to-side at some point during the time, something Willow was grateful for as she worked hard to keep her breathing steady and not let the tears pricking at her eyes release. There was silence in the room for another while as they gathered their thoughts.

"He brought women home," Tara ventured eventually, eyes still fixed on the ceiling.

Willow waited for Tara to continue, but sensed after a moment she wanted to be prompted.

"Women?"

Tara hesitated.

"…working women."

Willow eyebrow twitched with surprise.

"Oh."

Tara's eyes became glassy with emotion.

"He used to say if I ever left him, that's all I'd be good for."

Her breathing started to increase, chest rising higher than it had before.

More silence followed.

"I thought about it."

Willow blinked twice and turned her head towards Tara. Tara remained still, though her cheeks were paling.

"I decided to run away when I was 16. I was going to go to Manhattan. It looked so busy and like there were so many people on TV, I didn't think he could ever find me. I'd been saving a quarter every time I got groceries and picking up change whenever I saw it. Had about 10 dollars in pennies saved up over the years and over 50 with the rest. Just about enough for bus fare. I thought I'd leave, find a shelter and get a job. Hotel maid or café waitress or…something."

Her voice was starting to break, but she kept talking.

"B-but I knew…I knew leaving like that…I knew that he could be right. No education or experience. I knew that if I went down that route, that there was a possibility that that was the avenue I'd have to go down to survive. A-and I accepted it. I was going to go. I was willing to sell my body if I had to."

Willow was unmoving, in quiet shock and Tara blinked away some wetness in her eyes before pushing herself up and facing away.

"So there's my deep, dark secret. I was going to whore myself out. Hate me if you want, I hate me too."

Willow was quick to pull herself together and sat up. She scooted over to put a hand on Tara's back.

"Tara, no," she said, voice full of love and concern, "I can't even imagine how horrible it must have been for you to, to think it was better to be on the street. But I don't think any less of you for it."

Tara's head was hanging down but Willow went searching for her eyes, slipping down to her knees in front of her girlfriend to find them.

"You wanted to get out and you considered your options," she said, taking both of Tara's hands and squeezing them, "Tara even if that was a path you had gone down, it wouldn't affect how I feel about you, how I see you. I-I'll be forever grateful you didn't have to get involved in such a dangerous…profession…but…"

She lifted one hand to Tara's cheek and brushed some hanging hair away, then gently cupped it.

"You are strong and you are brave and I just believe that even more after what you told me."

Tara let her eyes be met, tinged with vulnerability.

"Do you mean that?"

Willow's hand went to cover Tara's heart over her shirt.

"With all my heart."

Tara let one tear fall down her cheek, which Willow quickly wiped away.

"Tara, if, say, in five years' time, a girl came to you needing help because she'd found herself in that situation, would you think less of her because of it?"

Tara shook her head.

"N-no, I'd want to help her."

"'Course you would, and I'd feel the same," Willow replied with a loving smile, "Tara? Can I ask why you didn't…?"

Tara toyed with her sleeve.

"I got called into a meeting with my guidance counsellor around the same time. Said she was interested in my test scores and that I could get a scholarship if I worked hard enough," she replied, wiping her sleeve softly under her nose, "I got a new avenue. So I opted for it instead."

Willow's head momentarily dropped with sheer relief that she'd been presented with that 'avenue', then she lifted it to kiss her girlfriend squarely on the forehead.

"So brave."

Tara felt a whole new level of adoration coming from Willow and a closeness between them unlike anything she'd felt before or even knew was possible.

"I'll tell you more. Moving out here and learning to live by myself and…" she started, then smiled softly, "And finding you. But can we take a break? I'm so tired."

"'Course we can," Willow replied, gently rubbing Tara's knuckles with her thumb, "And it's not a break. Because I'll never stop listening. I want to be the ear you bend for the rest of our lives."


	43. Chapter 43

**gimpy72** – Aww thank you, I'm glad they can make it a little better :) :)

**SonyaG** – I like that description! She does need to be squashed! I don't plan to feature her again, but I can definitely throw in a line in a few chapters so we know she's been taken down a peg or two ;) And yes, he is deserved of the largest bat in the store!

**CurlyAkemy** – Are emotional rollarcoasters less scary than real ones? :P

**Queenphoenix08** – She is a frustrating character! I'm happy they went through this arc, but I'm glad I won't have to write her any more too :D

**Boop – **Ha! Um, well, I didn't plan on writing any more sex scenes with toys, they were mostly featured at people's request but not something I'm personally hugely comfortable with BUT I'll definitely try to get a reference in there though! :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – Tara can do wrong; it's just harder to depict it. Willow has some personality traits that get her into trouble, so she falls into the role easier; Tara is quieter so there's less chance. But I think it's important to show both of their fallibilities.

Oh I understand that, I love me some Gabrielle too (though not quite to my W/T level). But I absolutely love Xena (the show, not just person), I'm planning a full-season rewatch for this summer! It's definitely my favourite show of all time.

Horrible nightmare, nothing more, nothing that can't be erased with W/T snuggles.

I think Willow was about to break her own hand at the frustration of 'keeping calm'. But showing that kind of aggression isn't something Tara needs to see; Willow was already aware that she'd scared her during their own confrontation. It's a little more than a 'no-hitting rule', it's something Tara feels paramount to her safety and it would be a big thing to have her safety blanket of Willow rocked.

Tara's staying in the class, but Mia's not. She's bye bye for good-zo.

To counter too much emotion, I offer too much sex.

**StephenPG – **haha, good! Though some fishy heartbreak will have to occur, but we don't have to think about that yet!

Send me the bill!

I will, but only if she gets a papercut and allergies...

* * *

Tara lay on her stomach on the bed, idly watching Willow playing with her laptop.

The room was dimly lit by one lamp and the glow of the moon from the dark night sky outside. They were both in their pyjamas but after only a few minutes of lying down, Willow had decided to bring out her laptop and Tara found herself unable to sleep either.

"Are you writing?" she asked, the screen angled away from her.

Willow shook her head.

"Playing a game."

"Oh, sorry," Tara replied, "Didn't mean to disturb you."

"Don't worry, not a disturb-y kind of game," Willow said, smiling over to her, "I'm not really playing it, just want to kill some time until I'm tired enough to sleep."

Everything was quiet for another few moments until Tara shuffled just a bit closer.

"Do you want to kill some time…together?"

Willow's head snapped over, wondering if she'd heard right.

"Sex?"

Tara's cheeks flushed lightly.

"If you want."

The laptop was on the floor in seconds.

"I do! I thought you didn't, I thought, I thought maybe you were still hurt over the Mia stuff, that I didn't trust you. You just, you know, haven't tried anything."

Tara lifted her hand to Willow's pillow and played with the tag sticking out.

"I wanted to after we shared everything that night. But you just tucked me in…I thought it was about what I told you. I wanted to give you some time to see if you could still…see me the same way."

Willow's brow creased.

"Oh, Tara, no. I didn't realise. I thought you wanted to be cuddled, feel safe. I meant it, to know what you grew up with, and…then I look at what you are…it makes me proud. It makes me love you more."

Tara's smiled shyly.

"Then love me."

Willow smiled back easily and scooted down so they were face-to-face. She brushed the hair from Tara's eye and kissed her softly.

Tara loved that first, tender kiss that they started with; the way Willow slowly opened her lips, promising her of all that was to come.

She rolled onto her back under the encouraging push of Willow's body.

Willow's hand went to Tara's hip, catching that patch of skin where the tank she was wearing didn't quite reach the shorts. Her fingers slipped under the fabric and caressed Tara's belly as her tongue gently pried its way between her girlfriend's lips.

She moaned softly against Tara's lips, revelling in the feel of her skin after so many days; though it easily felt like weeks.

Tara could feel her muscles jumping under Willow's delicate touch. She crossed her arms behind Willow's neck and let them slide slowly down her back, slipping under her pyjama bottoms to her buttocks.

Willow moaned and squirmed, pressing her body close to Tara's. Her hand reached up further to cup a full breast, causing Tara to arch back into her, breaking the kiss.

"Oh Willow…"

Tara bunched her hands gently in Willow's pyjama top, then sat up, taking her girlfriend with her and resumed a passionate kiss. Her fingers found the first button on her girlfriend's pyjama top and she started to undo them swiftly, breaking only when Willow lifted the tank over her head.

Willow looked down to Tara's naked chest as an eager tongue played with hers. She helped shrug her own top off and moaned when their breasts pressed together, but it was quickly interrupted by a giggle escaping her lips as Tara pushed them back down the other way.

"We're upside down."

"I'm not complaining," Tara whispered back, her lips finding Willow's throat.

Willow felt her breath catch and quickly decided she wasn't either. Her hand traced Tara's spine from the base of her back, up to her neck, where she gently pulled her up and kissed her again.

She felt Tara suck on her bottom lip, and squirmed in delight when she got an occasional nibble. She dropped her hands slowly down her girlfriend's back, and was about to tug her sleep shorts off when Tara jumped away from her.

"I'll be right back," she promised before scurrying off to the bathroom.

Willow waited impatiently for several seconds before lifting herself up and shimmying out of her pyjama bottoms. She heard the flush of the toilet and gripped the sheet excitedly until Tara came back out.

Tara was even quicker to return than she was to leave, dropping her sleep shorts along the way before jumping on top of Willow.

They both giggled and Tara placed a soft, chaste kiss on Willow's lips.

It quickly deepened with soft moans escaping both of them as Tara let herself lie flush against Willow's body. Willow bent her knee to feel Tara's heat and rolled her hips while encouraging her girlfriend to do the same.

Tara followed the hands on her hips, softly grinding her body against Willow's. Their kiss was turning sloppier as they both tried to take in air without breaking it.

Eventually Willow was the one to give into her burning lungs but Tara didn't waste a second in relocating her lips down into her girlfriend's neck again.

"Bite me, baby," Willow whispered through a breath, squirming when Tara nibbled on her skin, "Harder."

Her hand moved to the back of Tara's head to encourage her.

"Harde–Ow!"

Tara moved off and looked to Willow's neck for damage.

"I-I'm sorry, you said harder."

"It's okay, I did," Willow replied, gently rubbing her neck, then lowering that hand to lightly tap Tara's bottom, "Now we're even."

Tara blushed and moved back on top of Willow, kissing down to her girlfriend's chest to let her tongue make up for her teeth's indiscretion.

Willow felt warmth pool between her legs, only increasing when Tara continued to head in that direction. She let Tara open her thighs and tried to control herself as she was nuzzled into, but barely lasted seconds until she was pushing herself into Tara's face.

She moaned as Tara tenderly tongued her folds, teasing her clit with gentle flicks. Her hand was moving down to keep Tara in place but a head popped up before she connected. She groaned and thrust her hips up.

"Why'd you stop?"

"'Cause I wanted to do this," Tara replied, pressing her lips against Willow's.

Willow slowly melted under the kiss, warmth spreading through her lower belly and sending a tingling back through her. She felt Tara's hand slide down between her breasts and over her stomach before two fingers slipped inside her.

She broke the kiss to take in a sharp inhalation and lifted her hips to meet Tara's strokes.

"Mmmm…"

She writhed around as Tara kissed her neck and chest before she finally rolled herself on top. She straddled Tara to take her more deeply and set a fast pace.

Tara couldn't resist the allure of Willow's neck, yet again, as she tilted her head back and sat up to resume kissing and nipping her there. Willow wrapped her legs around Tara's waist, her hands roaming her girlfriend's back and leaving soft scratches.

"Yes…Tara…more…please…I'm…so…close…"

Tara was lost in the feeling of Willow's skin, but was alert enough to hear the words float through her ears. She laid them down 'upside down' again and lifted Willow's leg over her hip, then added another finger in on her next thrust.

Willow's head hung off the end of the bed and was banging lightly against the frame as Tara's body towered over and grinded against her.

She rolled her hips into Tara's hand as her abdomen tightened with pleasure. Her hands tightened in Tara's back, nails digging into her girlfriend's skin as her eyes glazed and breath caught.

"Ta…ra…" she whispered raspily as her body arched, pressing right into Tara's and staying flush as she shook through a release.

She felt Tara's hand slide up to her breast and then over her hammering heart before falling back down to her arm to repeat the circuit. Willow panted out a few laborious breaths, then had just enough neck strength to lift her head up.

"Holy crap."

Tara's hands moved under Willow's neck to support her, cradling her head as she pressed their lips together for a smouldering kiss.

Willow felt all the air rush from her lungs and went limp. She let Tara possess and take from her, while being maneuvered back so her head was on the pillow.

She felt herself trembling as Tara broke the kiss with a lip nibble, then move up along her jaw to her ear. Her eyes rolled back and she took in a quick breath with a delirious sigh.

"I love Tak–"

She pursed her lips closed and hoped she'd been quiet enough not to pick up on, but Tara's ear had been right by her mouth.

"What were you going to say?" Tara prompted, lifting her head so they were eye-to-eye and smiling softly.

Willow shook her head, cheeks red and brow still damp.

"Nothing."

"Yes, you were," Tara replied teasingly, pressing her hips down against Willow.

Willow moaned almost inaudibly.

"Just…what I call it. In my head. When you go all…" she took a break for a breath, then growled, followed almost immediately by a blush, "Um, Take-Charge Tara."

Tara's lips quirked up on one side.

"Take-Charge Tara?"

"Yeah," Willow admitted sheepishly.

Tara hid her face in Willow's neck, and Willow could feel the smirking against her skin. They were silent for several contemplative moments before Tara lifted her head, the smirk gone.

"Those words would never have been used to describe me a year ago," she said, gently wiping some hair from Willow's brow, "You make me into a different person. One I like better."

Willow caught Tara's wrist and kissed her palm.

"There isn't a 'you' I don't like," she answered, linking their fingers together, "But I love that I get to see your confidence grow."

Tara nudged her nose against Willow's, then let her head rest on her girlfriend's chest, cushioned comfortably on her breasts.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Willow inhaled deeply from the top of her girlfriend's hair and squeezed their palms together while her other arm held Tara's waist securely.

"Ditto, gorgeous."

"I mean it," Tara repeated, kissing Willow's collarbone, "You always talk about how much better I made your life and how lucky you are and I don't think you really realise you're all those things to me too."

She lifted her head to look at Willow properly.

"I don't think you realise that I love you as much as you love me."

Tara expected a smile and kiss and so was surprised when Willow just seemed to pale.

"Are you okay? That was supposed to make you happy."

"It does," Willow replied, with a gulp, "So happy. Too happy."

"Too happy?" Tara asked softly.

Willow was taking in deeper breaths.

"Just…what…what did I do to deserve that? That much love. Because, that's… that's a lot. I've never done anything but get good grades."

Tara lifted their joined hands and smiled.

"Well what did I do to deserve you?"

Willow's face slowly changed from ashen to adoring.

"You're kind and sweet and loving and loyal and–"

"Funny and caring and thoughtful and passionate and…" Tara cut her off, lips quirked on one side, "Which one of us are we talking about again?"

Willow kept smiling so Tara leaned down to give her a soft and sweet peck.

"I love you. There's no ifs or whys or becauses. I'm just your Tara and you're just my Willow."

Willow bumped Tara's nose and kissed her again.

"Left smart off the list."

Tara felt their breath mingling together and couldn't deny the shot of arousal it sent through her. She threw her leg over to straddle Willow.

"And sexy…"

Willow's breath caught and she felt wetness pooling between her legs.

_Tara-Charge Tara is on a roll tonight!_

She took a hold of Tara's hips and let her hands follow the curves.

"And…um…" she started to say something witty, but was distracted by her fingers digging into Tara's soft skin, "Fire."

"Fire?" Tara asked, neck craning back slightly as Willow touched and squeezed her.

Willow dropped her hand and slid her middle finger straight down through Tara's lips.

"Me. On fire. Your body. So hot."

Tara wasn't sure if it was learning of her new nickname or just her own confidence that was growing in the bedroom, but she suddenly caught Willow's wrist and made her girlfriend trace the wetness of her finger onto her own mouth.

"Maybe I have something that could cool you down…"

Willow thought she might physically burst at the rush of arousal and spent several moments completely sucking her own finger clean. She re-grabbed Tara's hips and pulled them towards her, lips parted and hungry for more.

"Why don't you show me?"

Tara waited for Willow to get her on her back, but was confused when Willow just tugged her hips again.

"Like this?" she asked, suddenly unsure.

"If you'd be comfortable…" Willow replied, clearly keen, "I've thought about it…a lot."

Tara flushed but couldn't deny the flutterings in her belly.

"Would I be too heavy?"

"Let's find out?" Willow ventured, though was already pretty sure she'd be more than able to handle it.

Tara slowly creeped her thighs up Willow's body. Willow's excitement grew as she watched Tara get closer, and toes curled when she was close enough to catch her scent.

Her hands rubbed Tara's hips encouragingly and rubbed her own thighs off each other to give herself some relief from her own aching clit.

Tara knew she was wet down to her thighs and would be squelching if they weren't spread by Willow's shoulders.

Willow's lower half was bouncing off the bed with excitement and unable to contain herself, had her mouth between her girlfriend's legs before Tara had even settled properly.

Tara scrambled to try and balance herself off something, ending up with palms flat on the wall and back arched so most of her weight was off Willow.

It was less than comfortable and mightily unsustainable if Willow's tongue kept up its eager exploring.

She caught sight of how ridiculous she looked in the mirror and came to a complete halt, thoroughly embarrassed.

"Will, Willow…stop, stop."

Willow's hand dropped from Tara's buttocks and she moved her head back as far she could.

"Sorry, Tara…sorry."

Tara wanted to run into the bathroom to hide, but couldn't bear the disappointment on Willow's face.

"I just need to get comfortable."

Willow's eyes lit up.

"Oh. Okay. Sure, just tell me when."

Willow enjoyed the show of 'adjusting' almost as much as the actual act but tried to be discreet; she could see the embarrassment already on her girlfriend's face.

Tara moved around awkwardly for a few moments before just resting softly on Willow's chest.

"Willow, I have to put my weight on you."

"That's fine," Willow said, liking the angle Tara was at now even more, "You're nowhere near as heavy as you think you are, you know that? Are you comfortable?"

Tara nodded, so Willow splayed her hands out around her girlfriend's hips again and tilted her head between Tara's legs.

Tara was still slightly on edge, but Willow was doing a fine job of relaxing her. She soon was at ease and quite enjoying the depths to which Willow could explore her the way she was positioned.

Willow felt Tara start to let go and really enjoy herself, which only made her enjoy it more. She held Tara by her butt cheeks and devoured her girlfriend with her lips and tongue until she felt the thighs start to tremble.

She looked up and watched Tara do the hair-tug on herself to indicate she was close. Willow wasn't going to let Mia ruin that erotic sight for her. She was pleased to find it still turned her on like crazy.

Quickly casting any thoughts of that nature from her mind, her tongue found its way to Tara's clit, flicking the tip. She heard the loud, echoing moan hit off the walls and used her lips to add another sensation for her girlfriend.

That was all Tara needed and she came with a quick jolt that lingered through her body, finally leaving through her toes.

She slumped, but Willow was prepared, and sat up slightly to hold her by the arms. She brought them down to safely lie on the bed, though Tara seemed unaware they had even moved; eyes in a faraway place and smile stuck to her face.

Willow was happy to let her take her time, but was quite giddy over the whole experience.

"I like that one."

Tara gave something that resembled a nod.

"Uh huh."

Willow turned her head to her girlfriend.

"Can that go on the 'do again' list?"

"Uh huh," Tara answered, on autopilot.

Willow noticed and grinned.

"Do you want to streak across campus?"

"Uh h-what?" Tara asked, blinking twice and looking to Willow in confusion.

"Nothing," Willow replied lovingly, taking Tara's hand and bringing her hand up to kiss her knuckles, "We should talk, you know? Like we spilled our souls the other night, but we were both worried about the other not wanting to make love. We should have just talked. Not even just for the sex, but there's no point in us carrying out worries when we don't have to. We should talk about the big stuff and the little stuff."

That look came back to Tara's eye.

"But the sex was so good…"

She slowly wiggled from her shoulders right down to her ankles, then blushed.

"I mean, yes, talk…anytime."

Willow was grinning like a Cheshire cat over Tara's reaction, feeling quite proud of herself. She was eager to know if there was anything else she could do to put that kind of smile on Tara's face again.

"Is there anything you want to do?"

Tara lethargically moved onto her stomach and curled her body around Willow's side.

"That thing you do to my spine? Where you massage me up and down?"

"Yeah?" Willow asked encouragingly, before registering the expectant look on Tara's face, "Oh, now! Sure!"

She put the heel of her palm on the base of Tara's spine and massaged up, alternating digging her fingers and palm in.

"That's great, but, um, I meant, you know, um, bedroom-y wise. Like positions and stuff. Anything you think about?"

"Feeling me up in the stadium bathroom pretty much reached the limits of imagination," Tara replied with a sloped smile, but it dropped off when she thought she saw Willow unhappy with that answer, "I'm sorry. It's not like I don't think about you…lots. Guess my mind is still a little reserved. But I think about the things we do every day."

She blushed and hid her eyes.

"I know I'm a bit of a prude, but I feel like we do lots. And I'm always open to you suggesting stuff."

"Hey, hey, you're not a prude," Willow replied, kissing Tara's cheek to bring her eyes up, "You're wonderful. You're so sensual and erotic and all kinds of sexy. I love what we do and I only wanted to do other things if you did. I don't even know what the things might be. I was just curious about your thoughts. Want me to do the tickle thing?"

Tara had come to learn when Willow was over-explaining to cover herself and over-explaining just to make sure she was heard, and decided it was the latter in this case. She smiled.

"Yes, please."

Willow started to brush her fingertips on their way along Tara's spine. Tara did another wiggle and cuddled right into Willow, then brought her hand up and started to rub her girlfriend's tummy in gentle circles.

Willow moaned softly and stretched herself right down to her feet, loving the giving and receiving and affectionate touches. She would have been happy to spend the whole night like that.

"Now this is a quid pro quo I can get behind."

* * *

Tara was sitting with her back against the wall, head buried in Willow's chest, who was sitting in her lap. She was quite enjoying slipping and sliding her hands around and letting her mouth pebble her girlfriend's skin, but noticed Willow wasn't responding as keenly as she normally did.

She lifted her head, cheeks flushed.

"Hey, what's wrong? You okay?"

Willow was casting a wary glance over her shoulder.

"The fish can see us."

"What?" Tara asked, very aware of the feeling of Willow's legs around her waist.

Willow gestured wildly.

"The fish, it can see us."

"It's a fish," Tara reasoned, but Willow took it as confirmation of her fears.

"Yeah, it must be horrified!"

Tara closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath to calm herself.

"Don't they have like 3 second memories?"

Willow's eyes went wide.

"That's even worse, she's being traumatised every 3 seconds!"

Tara very begrudgingly slipped out from beneath Willow and went over to pile some textbooks in front of the fish bowl.

"Now she can't see us."

She came back and resumed her position, but only got a two-second kiss out of Willow before her girlfriend was looking back again.

"Do you think she can hear us?"

Tara tried to remain cool.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Willow asked, eyes creased.

"Yes," Tara replied, more firmly this time.

Willow reluctantly turned her gaze away.

"Okay, if you're sure."

"I am," Tara replied, hands moving either side of Willow's neck, "Can we…?"

Willow let her focus be pulled back and her lips be kissed again, but Tara was the one to pull back this time.

"You're thinking about the fish, aren't you?"

"What if we really traumatise her?" Willow asked, nervous and upset, "I want to do right by her."

Tara fell back onto the bed, hands covering her face.

"What are you going to do when we have kids?"

Willow shrugged.

"Babies can't tell if you're having sex."

Tara's hands fell from her face.

"Are you serious?" she asked, in a far more unreasoned state than she might be when caught at another time, "I'm sure we haven't traumatised the fish. And she was exposed to a lot more earlier."

Willow started to bite the skin around her thumb.

"Maybe I should check on her…"

She climbed off of Tara and went over to the bowl, bending over to peer in. Tara's cheeks flushed again and took in an eyeful since she was denied a handful.

"Do her colours look a little dull?" Willow asked, putting a finger against the glass near where the fish was swimming in the shallow waters that it liked.

"Willow, we only have a candle, of course they look dull," Tara replied, grabbing the water bottle on the nightstand to take a long sip, "Supposed to be mood lighting."

The fish came over to Willow's finger then, and followed it around as she moved. Happy she was still playing their game, and thus deemed 'okay', Willow turned her attention to the other neglected party.

"Feeling a little frustrated?"

"That I'm naked and you're more worried about the fish?" Tara asked, thighs suspiciously pressed together, "Yeah, a little."

Willow came back and straddled Tara again.

"I'm sorry…" she said with her best on-purpose pouty lips, "You're right to pull me up…care about your needs."

She let her hand slide from Tara's collarbone, down her chest and stomach and off her body, then pressed her lips between her girlfriend's breasts and moved up. Her lips trailed along Tara's jaw and towards her ear, while her hand separated her girlfriend's thighs.

"Can I make it up to you?" she whispered seductively, nibbling gently on Tara's lobe.

Tara's thighs fell apart and neck tilted to the side.

"M-make it up to me?"

"I have some good skills…" Willow said with what started as a sensual smile, but turned goofy as her voice turned into a drawl, "Nunchuck skills... bowhunting skills... computer hacking skills... girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!"

Tara had no idea what had just happened, but went with it.

"Some want girlfriends," she replied, hands on Willow's upper arms and sliding down. "Some have girlfriends."

Willow turned beetroot at her accidental geeking out - it was harder to contain than one might think.

"So, um, about those skills…" she tried again, though the air of sexy had gone.

"It doesn't involve nunchucks or a bow and arrow, does it?" Tara asked with a crooked smile and mirth-filled eyes.

Willow blushed even more, but that smile always sent her into a tizzy of arousal.

"Well, it primarily involves my mouth and I can call in the hand cavalry if required."

"Okay, that sounds _much_ better," Tara replied, puffing out a mock breath of relief, "I was worried there for a second."

Willow had to laugh at herself.

"Forgive my dorkus maximus. I'll explain it another time."

Tara smiled back; she wasn't sure she'd get it even if the reference was explained, but loved Willow's goofy moments – at least when they didn't involve irrational paranoia over fish.

"Good plan…you had another idea for right now. Right?"

Willow nodded keenly and resumed kissing Tara's neck, a sure-fire way to get them both to the place they'd been in before. Sure enough, she had Tara writhing under her barely minutes later.

As she made her way down Tara's body, she couldn't help thinking to herself how great she had it.

_Sometimes the geek does get the girl._


	44. Chapter 44

**tjwiltshire** – Thank you, you're sweet :) Especially coming from you, ms-awesome-writer. I will try to talk to you soon, without feeling like I'm bothering you!

**Willara4ever** – Glad you liked it! Hope you continue to :)

**Dirty Tube Socks **– I always mean to rewatch it, then I get distracted by new shows. I'm happy to be watching it fresh though, it'll be like watching new all over again!

The mind does…but sometimes it's good!

I'm sorry. I'll stop with the pop psych :P

I've heard this is true.

Haha. Yes. Big nerd.

Willow sees eyes everywhere.

:P

**StephenPG **– Family is the only episode I ever really watch on repeat! (I only watch Tara's episodes anyway) Glad you liked it! :)

* * *

**I'm sorry, the update is super short this week, I was slammed with some work I had to do. I promise a longer continuance next week!**

* * *

"Ready?"

Tara rearranged the jewellery around her neck and nodded.

"Great, let's go!" Willow replied cheerily, offering Tara her hand.

They headed out the door and Willow made sure the dorm door was locked, then continued to walk them towards the exit.

At the junction of the stairs, Becky was about to head up, two costume bags hanging over her arm, but immediately halted when she saw the tuft of Willow's red hair.

She wouldn't have recognised them on first glance.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," she said, looking them up and down, "Willow, you dressed up? You said you hated it when I tried last year."

"Um, no," Willow replied, matter-of-fact, "I said I didn't want to dress up in the skimpy nurse costume you produced."

Tara looked up.

"A nurse?"

"A sexy nurse," Becky clarified with a wink, recognising the aroused glint in Tara's eye as similar to one she'd produced when she'd kept said costume to wear on other occasions.

Willow missed it, and Tara was quick to conceal and look away.

"So no nurse, but a hippie and a soldier make the cut?" Becky continued, eyeing the head-to-toe army fatigues, complete with peaked cap, Willow was wearing, as well as the off-the-shoulder puffy shirt and flowing skirt of Tara, with the rimmed sunglasses and peace-sign pendant hanging around her neck.

Willow gestured excitedly between them.

"War and Peace!"

Becky snorted.

"Okay, that's funny," she said, covering her mouth for a moment before waving her hand with a dramatic flourish, "Everything I know, I know because of love."

Willow smiled and squeezed Tara's hand.

"Sounds about right."

Becky let them exchange goo-eyes at each other for a second, before interrupting with a whine.

"You guys really aren't coming to the party?"

"Nope, we're going to the ghosts and ghouls fair!" Willow announced, clearly much more enthused with their plans than the alternative, "All the fun of a fun fair with that extra grr argh for Halloween."

"So basically they just hang some bat decorations around?" Becky asked dismissively.

"Pfft, whatever. Better than whatever shenanigans will go on here," Willow retorted, "With the…loudness…and stuff."

She trailed off lamely and Becky decided to forego any further hassle.

"Alright, alright. Luke is coming anyway," she said, tapping the costume bags in indication. She made a move to continue up, but turned back at the last minute with a smile, "I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself."

"We get it, you know your Tolstoy," Willow replied with a good-natured roll of her eyes, "I'm taking my girlfriend out now, bye!"

Becky waved and her footsteps stamped up the stairs, while Willow started to lead them out again, though Tara was hanging back and fidgeting with her clothes.

"Do I look stupid?"

"No, you look awesome," Willow replied keenly, "I look stupid, but I don't even care."

Tara was able to get a little more than a glance of Willow's butt from lagging behind, and though the costume was meant to be baggy, ran a little small and hugged her nicely.

"I think it's sexy."

"You do?" Willow asked, delighted as Tara fell in line with her, "Well okay, then."

A noticeable spring showed up in her step as they walked the few blocks to where a Halloween Carnival was taking place – she'd been sure when she'd made their plans that they would go somewhere in walking distance and wouldn't have to face the inevitable loonies that would grace the public transit system on such a night.

"Tara, I don't know if you've been out on Halloween before, but it gets pretty crazy. Let's not split up okay?"

Tara nodded, clinging to Willow's hand.

"What's the carnival like?"

"Well, I haven't been to this one before, but the website said they had street performers and game booths and rides and a band playing and everything, so I'm sure we'll be entertained."

The music alerted them to the carnival's exact location before they'd even turned onto the right block. As they did, they noticed the stream of people flittering about. Willow was instantly sucked into the atmosphere.

"Wow, look at everything! Witches Hat Ring Toss! Pumpkin Toss, Apple bobbing! A GHOST TRAIN! Can we go, can we go?"

Tara barely had a chance to nod before Willow was pulling her off in the direction, waiting impatiently in line until they got a car at the front.

"What exactly happens on a ghost–" Tara started to ask, unaccustomed to rides as she was, but cut herself off with a scream as something jumped out in front of her.

"That!" Willow replied, voice already high from the rush.

Tara's heart was pounding but was better prepared for the next ghoulish thing to pop out at her, though almost leapt out of her skin when an out-stretched witch's hand tickled the back of her neck.

By the time they came back around, her hands were practically glued to the safety bar and her eyes were frozen and fixed ahead. Willow was grinning from ear-to-ear, exhilarated with some light beads of sweat perspiring from her forehead.

She didn't noticed her girlfriend's lack of movement until the attendant tried to lift the bar but couldn't.

"Tara?" she asked, putting her hand over her girlfriend's.

Tara blinked a couple of times, then snatched her hands away from the bar, looking between Willow and the attendant, embarrassed.

"Sorry."

They stood and moved out of the car, but Willow noticed Tara was swaying.

"Whoa, whoa, baby. C'mere, sit down," she said, gently but quickly guiding her over to some nearby seats at a concession stand, "Are you okay?"

Tara blushed.

"I've never been on a ride before. Just…getting used to the bumps."

"Oh. Wow, I'm sorry. I didn't know," Willow replied, gently rubbing the small of her back, "I should've warned you."

Tara shook her head, still flushed but from the embarrassment now instead of terror.

"It's okay, I overreacted."

Willow moved her hand up to cup the back of Tara's head affectionately and kissed her right above the ear.

"Want a caramel apple?"

"Okay," Tara agreed, hands over her belly where they were settling from the flip-flops.

Willow went and got a caramel apple for them both, then retook her seat to nibble on it.

"Okay, so let's skip the rides for a while. We can play some games and listen to the band, maybe try again later."

Tara smiled bashfully and leaned over to press a lingering kiss against Willow's cheek.

"Thanks, captain."

Willow smiled giddily and took a huge bite from her apple. Tara ate hers more demurely, then went to trash both of their sticks when a woman in a long dress at a henna booth caught her eye and called her over.

"Hey, flower-child," she said in an accent that Tara suspected was fake for effect, "Want a picture to live up to the name?"

Tara was about to politely decline, but found herself instead drawn over to look at the designs. Willow was by her a few seconds later.

"Are you getting a tattoo?"

Tara glanced to the side at her.

"I don't know. What do you think?"

Willow smiled.

"Go for it."

Tara pointed to a particular design on display.

"I like this. I love daisies."

"I think right here," the woman suggested, tracing a circle on Tara's exposed shoulder.

Tara agreed and sat on the little stool by the artist and gathered her hair back so it wouldn't get in the way. She watched Willow watch the process in fascination.

"I've used henna in art class before…not on me though."

"It's really pretty," Willow replied, as the artist finished up, "Look."

Tara glanced down and smiled shyly.

"It is pretty."

Tara paid the woman and kept her hair away for it to dry, and they started a circle around the carnival. Willow tried her luck at each and every game booth, while Tara offered supportive cheers and claps, with a victory kiss each time she succeeded.

They ended up back where they started, where a band was playing and people were sitting on the grass, listening. They joined the crowd, Tara sitting between Willow's legs, leaning back against her.

Willow lifted Tara's hand to her and kissed the back of her palm.

"Happy Halloween, flower-child."

"Happy Halloween, captain," Tara replied, gently rubbing Willow's shin through her pants leg.

Willow quickly found herself less focused on the music and very much on Tara's movements. She held out and remained composed for as absolutely long as she could until she was worried she was becoming too turned on to be respectable in a public place.

"Hey, it's getting kinda late. You know, the crazies and everything."

Tara pushed herself away and did a soft stretch forward, enough to give Willow a glimpse of the soft patch of skin between her top and skirt. She let out a soft breath and quickly scrambled up so she could squeeze her legs together.

Tara stood too and wiped some debris away from her knees, then slipped her hand into Willow's. Willow smiled and gave it a squeeze as they headed out the way they came in, passing the Ferris Wheel on the way.

"Hey look, the cars are shaped like pumpkins," she said, noticing for the first time as they got up close and laughed when she saw the name, "The Cinderella Wheel."

Tara looked up at the looming structure, impressed. She'd seen many before, but had never been quite so close.

"Do you want to ride before we go?"

"Okay," Willow agreed, very eager to replace her lonely memories of riding a similar wheel with nobody to share it with in high school during an ill-fated trip to a fair in an attempt to fit in.

They joined the line that was moving quickly, but Tara's gaze was still turned upwards.

"That's high."

"We don't have to," Willow replied quickly, not wanting a repeat performance of the train.

"Oh, I'm not scared," Tara replied easily, "Unless something jumps out at me in the sky."

They reached the front and got into one of the pumpkin cars. Willow watched Tara peer out as they slowly got higher until they were moving at a steady pace.

"I rode one of these alone once…" Willow said, hand on Tara's thigh, "Not so much with the fun."

Tara sat back.

"How come you were alone?"

"Um, equal parts Cordelia, fuzzy sweaters and my inability to appeal to any kind of normal teenage status quo," Willow replied in a joking tone, though was quite serious.

Tara offered a comforting smile.

"I think we had carnivals but I never really had the opportunity. I'm glad I got to come to one with you."

Willow smiled back, marvelling as ever how easily Tara could eradicate the hurt and replace it with love.

"Me too."

They enjoyed the ride in silence, not needing to fill the quiet with anything but their breathing. The music and sounds of the crowd below them drowned out so they were in their own world, no bigger than the dimensions of the pumpkin they were sitting in.

They both had to be pulled to attention by the attendant when the ride was over this time, but there was no stumbling when they finally got out.

"This was like the bestest, greatest Halloween ever," Willow commented, declining the re-entry stamp for them as they left through the gates, "And thanks for dressing up and just going along with all my crazy stuff."

"I'd do anything to see you smile," Tara replied shyly, "And I enjoyed it. I feel silly, but it's nice to be silly. And it's even nicer when it's with you."

Willow felt her heart skip a beat and contented herself with just smiling at Tara, not sure words would come if she tried.

"So, um, still up for the scary movies?" she asked after a long while, when they were almost back on campus, the first moment she trusted her voice.

"Yes. I mean, I think so," Tara replied, somewhat unsurely, "I've liked the movies you showed me so far."

"Oh we haven't even dented into the Rosenberg collection," Willow replied, smiling, "You'll be a regular aficionado by the time I'm done with you."

Tara gently swung their hands.

"What if I don't want you to be done with me?"

Willow smiled slowly.

"Reporting for duty, ma'am. My lifelong tour of Tara."

Tara turned so she was facing Willow and walking backwards.

"Well, as a hippie, I have to tell you I greatly oppose the war," she said, her lips quirking up on one side as she pulled Willow close, "But I'm definitely for supporting the troops."

Willow could only smile as Tara pressed their lips together sweetly. They fell back in step so Tara wouldn't fall but it wasn't long until they were hearing the loud thump of music overriding the quite-high-already noise from the street.

"Is that noise coming from our building?" Tara asked uncertainly.

"Curfew was a half hour ago," Willow replied, looking down at her watch, "I thought we'd just be coming back to a big mess."

They rounded a shrub and it quickly became obvious the noise was indeed blaring from their building along with a considerable amount of people who were smoking outside.

"Oh boy," Willow commented, loud enough for Tara to hear, "Let's just push through and put the TV on real loud or something, okay?"

* * *

_To Be Continued..._


	45. Chapter 45

**gimpy72** – Haha, glad you liked it :) Hope you enjoy the party :D

**tjwiltshire** – Haha, yes, short sometimes works! Oh no, you definitely haven't upset me :) I'm around alright, but I'm very bad for checking in.

**Willara4ever** – Glad you enjoyed it! I think Tara will learn to enjoy rides, she just didn't know what to expect. Hope you enjoy the party!

**Queenphoenix08** – Yay! Happy you liked them :)

**CurlyAkemy** – They are very cute… :)

**hannah2000105** – Thank, thank, thank you :D

**StephenPG** – Haha! You almost got yourself in trouble there :P

Spot your cameo in this chapter ;)

I laughed HARD at that!

* * *

**Previously:**

_"Is that noise coming from our building?" Tara asked uncertainly._

_"Curfew was a half hour ago," Willow replied, looking down at her watch, "I thought we'd just be coming back to a big mess."_

_They rounded a shrub and it quickly became obvious the noise was indeed blaring from their building along with a considerable amount of people who were smoking outside._

_"Oh boy," Willow commented, loud enough for Tara to hear, "Let's just push through and put the TV on real loud or something, okay?"_

* * *

Tara nodded, not sure she'd be heard over the crowd. Willow kept her hand tight as she opened the main doors and tried to push through the sexy bunnies and wannabe-Native-Americans.

Tara nodded, not sure she'd be heard over the crowd. Willow kept her hand tight as she opened the main doors and tried to push through the sexy bunnies and wannabe-Native-Americans.

Almost every room on their floor was opened and people in various costumes were flittering in and out. Willow could see a lot of the beds were already 'occupied' despite being in full view of everybody. She was beginning to consider taking Tara to a late-night movie theatre instead, when they were approached by a bronzed beauty in full Egyptian garb, complete with headpiece and perfectly styled hair.

Willow had to admit, Becky did know how to dress up.

"Whoa," Tara commented upon seeing, her eyes widening in a way Willow didn't like.

Becky was grinning wildly and threw her arms around them both.

"Willow! Tara! You came back!"

Willow had encountered drunk-Becky enough times to know when she was inebriated and when she was just giddy; the latter being the case this time, though she was sure her friend had had a punch or two.

She was still annoyed by Tara's reaction.

"We thought it would be over."

"You two are so party-illiterate," Becky replied with a playful roll of her eyes, "We got hours until we get shut down!"

Tara was at their door now and had the key in.

"Let's just go in and–"

She was interrupted as a man in a baboon costume but with the head off bounded over and pushed the door open before bombarding in.

"New room! New room! New room!"

"Uh, no, not a new–" Willow started to protest, then marched over to him when he picked up an ornament on the dresser, "Hey! Get away from that!"

Some more people pushed past Tara to experience the 'new room'. She stood still, puzzled for a moment, until Becky was gesturing someone over. She clung to her boyfriend's arm when he got there, that same grin plastered onto her face though her eyes had changed from amused to aroused.

"And my Mark Anthony," she said, tapping Lucas's chest, right above the gladiator belt, "Show her your sword!"

Tara's eyes went wide but she was very relieved when Lucas pulled out a plastic sword from a sheath on the belt.

"Your costumes are very cool," she replied, her eyes drawn again to Becky's head, "I love your headdress, it almost took my breath away when I saw it. The beadwork is so intricate; I wish I could do something like that. I've made Willow some bracelets and necklaces, a watch once, but never something so detailed."

Becky twirled one of the strings of hanging beads over her face, happy that all her efforts into costume-ing were being complimented.

"Thanks, I had it custom made, my head was too small for most of them," she replied, then pointed her thumb at Lucas, "This one was easy, show a man a sword and he'll do whatever you want."

True to form, Lucas was playing with the sword, batting it against the light saber of a Luke Skywalker that had appeared. Becky rolled her eyes but was smiling and turned back to Tara.

"Hey, I was thinking about next year's costume–"

"Already?" Tara interrupted, an eyebrow quirked up.

"Halloween is a serious business," Becky replied, her tone indicating she meant just that, "Anyway, I was thinking about Alice in Wonderland. That'd be cool, right? But with one of those head-band hats, the little ones on top? And with some ruffles and a bow to match a neckpiece maybe. I dunno, it's still in the works, but that's what I'm thinking."

Tara nodded along; the idea of planning something so far in advance baffled her, but at least she knew of the character Becky was talking about.

"That sounds nice."

Becky nodded keenly.

"So you think you could do it?"

"Me?" Tara asked, confused.

"Yeah, Willow says you're great with this stuff and you said you'd made some jewellery and stuff before. Will you help?"

Tara smiled, slowly and shyly.

"Sure I will."

Becky threw her arms around Tara.

"Thank you!"

Willow appeared at that moment, shoving a Superman out the door.

"I said don't touch my stuff!" she snapped at him, then eyed the other two cagily, "Hey…"

"Hi!" Becky replied, embracing Willow quickly too before pumping her hands in the air when a new tune started playing, "Oh, I love this song…babe, let's dance!"

She started to dance around in the middle of the crowd with Lucas and Tara smiled, admiring her ability to be so unselfconscious, whether sober, drunk, or in her current state of tipsy. Willow saw the look and frowned, but Tara looked away almost as soon as first glance.

"This is kinda fun," Tara commented shyly, "I've never been to a party before."

Willow frowned more.

"You want to stay?"

Tara shrugged.

"I like the music."

There was an awkward lull and Tara wasn't sure why, but Willow was unable to bite her tongue and spoke up again quickly.

"So…Becky's costume is nice, huh?"

Tara smiled and nodded.

"Uh huh."

"She went as Pocahontas last year…the slutty version," Willow replied, her nose turned up slightly, "Probably would have liked that too."

Tara blinked slowly, twice.

"Excuse me?"

Willow couldn't meet her eye and just looked ahead at the crowd.

"Just sayin'…"

"'Just sayin'…what exactly?" Tara asked, though her tone indicated she already knew.

Willow's jaw was clenched a moment before she was able to attempt a shrug of nonchalance.

"That you were very appreciative."

"Really? After everything?" Tara asked, pushing herself off the wall, eyes hurt and betrayed, "I was admiring the headpiece."

She walked away into their room but was too shy to ask the people sitting - thankfully, just sitting - on the bed to leave, so wandered over to lean by the window.

Willow hung back against the wall, ego bruised though she was too stubborn to admit she was wrong yet. She was beyond mad that her room had been unwillingly taken over and was a half-second away from snapping when Becky came back over, took both her hands and tried to pull her away from the wall, jovially.

"Willow, come on, I love hanging out with you, but don't make me chaperone you! Mingle! I don't want to see you hiding against the wall."

Willow snatched her hands back.

"I'm not in the mood."

Becky straightened up, eyebrows moving a centimetre up on her face.

"What happened to you, grumpy? You're a solider, not one of the seven dwarfs."

Willow glanced from side to side, resolve slowly crumbling, until her hands finally fell by her sides.

"I upset Tara."

Becky scoffed.

"In the two minutes I was gone? Wow, that must be a record. What happened?"

Willow slumped against the wall again.

"My green-eyed, red-haired jealousy monster."

"Who?" Becky asked, looking around for the potential interest, before barking a laugh when she saw the way Willow was looking at her, "Me?!"

"Well she couldn't stop staring at you!" Willow replied, exaggerating her words and a motion towards Becky.

Becky twirled the same string of beads.

"She likes the headpiece."

Willow's heart sank. Tara really had been telling the truth.

_Of course she was._

"Oh, just…after Mia…" she said as she glanced over at Tara, who was now talking to Fred Flintstone, "After Mia, I should be trusting her more than ever."

Becky joined Willow against the wall.

"Let me tell you something," she said, her tone indicating she wasn't kidding around, a rare occurrence for her, "You know I love Halloween, right? It's a big thing for me?"

Willow tried not to throw her hands up as if to say 'duh'.

"Yeah, just a little."

Becky was quiet a moment in thought.

"Well, every year since I was 13, I've planned a costume that can be used on its own, or as part of a couple, depending on my romantic situation. Even when I was with Tim and thought I could marry that asshole, I always thought, 'gotta make sure I can use it if something happens, can't ruin my Halloween!'"

Willow waited for some conclusion to the story, but Becky was silent.

"Yeah, so?"

Becky dropped her head, then lifted it again, smiling.

"So, I just asked Tara if she wouldn't mind helping me out with my next costume. Because I didn't doubt for a second that she's still going to be around next year."

It was Willow's turn to be silent, taking that all in.

"You guys, you've got this energy," Becky continued, her hands gesturing around in a ball, trying to manifest said energy, "I don't even know how to describe it. But if I found something like that, I don't think I would ever have a wandering eye."

Willow looked sceptical at that.

"I know! Me! So you know it's serious," Becky said, smiling her usual jokey smile though her eyes still shone with genuine warmth, "You just have to get it through that head she only has goo-goo eyes for you."

Willow's cheeks lightly tinged and she found herself looking at Tara again; barely noticing the man standing beside her and just the soft smile and angelic features of her girlfriend.

She tore her gaze away to smile at her friend.

"Thanks, Becky."

Becky bumped her shoulder against Willow's.

"I swear I'm your love guru sometimes."

* * *

Tara saw a man in an orange and black-polka-dot dress with a blue cravat approach. He was holding two red cups in his hands and offered one to her. She wasn't in much mood for company, but decided it was better than feeling sorry for herself. If she had to be in a party, she may as well enjoy herself.

"Hey," the guy said, his smile carrying a disturbing quality hidden beneath charm, "Or should I say yabba-dabba-doo."

"Hi," Tara greeted shyly, declining the cup.

Tara's shirt was modest, but had enough allure to draw you in. The man took advantage of the view.

"Saw you all on your own here. I'm Nathan. Or I guess you could call me Fred."

"Oh, I'm Tara," Tara replied, hands behind herself now as she looked around uncomfortably.

Nathan somehow misconstrued that as an invitation to come closer.

"Here by yourself?"

Tara could still see the back of Willow's head, but shrugged in annoyance.

"I guess, kinda."

"Well I'll keep you company," Nathan replied, that smile coming out again, "Sure you don't want a drink, Tara?"

He offered one of the cups again but Lucas ran over before Tara had a chance to accept or decline, dramatically poking Nathan in the chest with his sword.

"Don't drink that!"

Nathan huffed out a breath and straightened up to Lucas.

"What's the problem, dude?"

Lucas seemed to realise he looked ridiculous with the sword out and quickly shoved it back in the sheath but stayed shoulder to shoulder with Nathan.

"The problem is, I saw you slipping something in there."

Nathan pushed one of Lucas's shoulders.

"Hey bro, this is none of your business. There ain't nothing wrong with this drink."

"Then drink some yourself," Lucas challenged.

Nathan floundered for a moment before pushing Lucas again and walking off.

"Whatever, man."

Lucas was about to follow him but was distracted as Willow came over to them.

"What's going on here?" she asked, looking all around in concern.

"That guy just tried to roofie Tara," Lucas said, pointing at the back of the head that was quickly disappearing through the crowd outside the room.

Willow's eyes flew to Tara, then to where Lucas was pointing before she finally ran off to the source of the music and yanked the plug from the stereo system. The whole dorm collapsed into silence.

"Party is OVER!" she yelled, eyes wild with fury, "I will call the campus police, I don't care if I get in trouble too! I will have every one of us written up!"

There were shouts and grumbles all around and Becky came skidding up.

"Willow, what the hell?"

Willow was just barely breathing, sucking in a laboured breath every few seconds.

"Some guy tried to roofie Tara."

Becky's eyes went wide and she quickly spun around to face the disgruntled party go-ers.

"Party's over! And everyone watch your drinks!" she announced and everyone seemed to accept her words, though not happily.

The place started to clear quickly.

"Where is he?" Becky asked, eyes scouring for someone 'suspicious'.

"Scampered off," Willow replied, wishing she'd had a chance to sock him one, then immediately finding herself grateful she hadn't, knowing it would have scared Tara.

"Is Tara okay?" Becky asked.

Willow was already running back down the hallway to their room.

"I gotta go check!"

She slid into the room and went over to take Tara's hands.

"Tara, baby, you okay?"

Tara gave a little nod.

"Little shook up," she replied honestly, then offered a small but real smile to Lucas who was walking over to Becky by the door, "Glad Lucas was here."

"Yeah, thank you. Really," Willow said over to him, then gently cupped one of Tara's pale cheeks, "Tara, you sure you're okay?"

Tara nodded again, but her eyes were downcast. Willow knew it wasn't because of the roofie-attempt.

"Tara, I'm sorry."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"It's okay."

"It's not. I look at boobs and you let me away with it, but I jump at you for admiring a headpiece. It's not fair, especially after everything that just happened. You have to understand, it's not that I thought you were cheating, I will never make that mistake again. But I'm jealous," Willow replied, her hand gently falling from Tara's face, "Because you're beautiful and smart and kind and everything that's good in the world and I selfishly want all your attention to myself."

Tara lifted her head and shook it.

"That's not selfish."

Willow toyed with her hands awkwardly.

"Even if you are looking at other women, I mean, it's just looking–"

"But I'm not," Tara interrupted softly.

Willow's shoulders visibly relaxed.

"Okay. I'll try not to get jealous if I totally misread a situation and think you are," she said, then had to tack on, "But I can't make any promises if I can see someone else blatantly checking you out. I know, I know, I'm weak. I'm insecure. It's a personal flaw, it's not a doubt on you."

Tara was quiet for a moment, before replying in a quiet voice.

"I get a little jealous sometimes too."

"You do?" Willow asked, surprised – Tara had never expressed it or made her feel like it was the case.

Tara nodded; she understood that first pang of angry annoyance when someone looked at Willow the way only she wanted to.

"Yeah, I do. With Danny and Lucas and when guys, or girls, pass you and look back. The…boobs thing. I get jealous. I wanted to glue their eyes shut, and throw towels over the girls' chests."

Willow was shocked.

"You never said a word, gave a dirty look, anything. A-a little on the boobs thing, but…" Willow suddenly stopped and considered their different approaches from Tara's point of view, "Wow. I'm looking at other girls' chests. What's wrong with me? How much of a hypocrite am I? I'd be crushed if you were thinking about another girl sexually. I just was, that just happened and I... I-I mean you're entitled to your thoughts, but if I knew you were…Wow. I'm a jerk."

Tara frowned for a moment.

"You told me it wasn't sexual. That you weren't fantasizing about them."

"And that's the truth," Willow replied honestly, "But why should you believe me? I don't even understand it myself!"

Tara squeezed Willow's upper arm gently.

"I believe you. I worked it out, actually. You look at boobs the way I might look at a nice pair of nails."

Willow was struck dumb for a moment, clarity falling over her face.

"That's actually a really good way of putting it. No one ever gets it, like, oh, she's looking at boobs so she must be thinking of them sexually. But no one would ever say oh you're looking at someone's hand, so you must be thinking of that sexually, even though, we, you know, use them pretty predominantly," she said, making sure to keep her voice down, though was speaking quite speedily, "How'd you figure that out? I couldn't even explain it properly, just waffled and thought you let me away with it to avoid a fight."

Tara shrugged one shoulder softly.

"You say boobs."

Willow blinked.

"You lost me."

"You say 'boobs'. When you're referencing other girls. You always say boobs. Sometimes you call mine boobs too, when we're playing around, but most of the time…mostly you say breasts," Tara replied shyly, voice even quieter than Willow's, "Like, 'I love your breasts' or something. And you say it like I'm the only person in the world who owns them. Not any old pair of boobs, but breasts, real breasts. Like the others are just things, but I'm a woman, your woman. So that's how I figured the difference."

Willow had to bring her hands up to cover her face a moment to compose herself.

"We're having a conversation practically in public about boobs and you're gonna make me cry," she said, exhaling softly and holding Tara's hand tight, "No one ever understood me. It's so stupid, but it's not just this, it's everything. You just get everything."

Tara leaned over and kissed her softly.

"I love you, Willow. I always just want to be the best person I can be for you."

Willow was about to hug her, but had a question first.

"Tara, does it hurt you when I look? Honest answer."

"Until I understood…yes," Tara answered honestly as requested, But not now. You can look at 'boobs' if I can look at hands."

Willow laughed and forwent a shake for the owed hug.

"Deal."

Tara accepted the hug, then pulled back to meet Willow's eye.

"And the other kinds of jealousy… if you can trust me and I can trust you that it's one-sided on the other side…I think we can work it out."

Willow leaned forward and rested their foreheads together.

"Forgiving infrequent, irrational moments of lunacy? Because I know I'm going to have some in our lifetime of years."

Tara smiled her special Willow-smile.

"I don't think two women could be in a relationship if we didn't."

Willow smiled too, and would have laughed if the movement wouldn't have separated them.

"Really, really sure you're okay?" she asked once last time.

The shake had gone from Tara's hand, but was still concerned about the whole situation.

"What if he goes onto another party and hurts some poor girl?"

"We can call campus police, give them a description?" Willow suggested and Tara nodded quickly.

Willow picked up the phone but didn't get a chance to dial before Becky called over.

"We're gonna head out to find a new party or something. Wanna come?"

"Um, well we have to make a call, then we were gonna watch some scary movies," Willow replied, then looked to Tara, "If you still want to?"

Tara nodded, as did Lucas, who appeared very much in favour of their plans.

"Yes, that is how you spend Halloween! Dark room, big screen, Aliens bursting out of your stomach–"

"Pfft, try a girl climbing out of your TV," Willow interrupted.

Lucas laughed.

"A girl after my own heart."

"Well why don't we just leave you two to your Halloween love-fest…" Becky suggested, trying to be jokey but the underlining tone of bitterness still coming through.

"Babe…" Lucas said, holding up his hands defensively.

"She already turned him down," Tara pointed out, then blushed and looked away.

Becky cackled.

"Nice," she said, walking over to high five Tara.

"You guys can stay and watch movies with us if you want," Willow continued, holding the receiver against her shoulder, "I got popcorn and one of those plastic pumpkins full of candy and everything."

"Got any beer?" Lucas asked, kicking a stray red cup by the door away.

"I have Dr. Pepper and Sprite," Willow answered, matter-of-fact.

Lucas shrugged.

"I'm in."

Everyone looked to Becky, who seemed on the fence.

"Skittles?" she asked and got a nod from Willow, "Alright, alright. I can be convinced to take a night off."

Willow waved them in.

"Make yourself comfortable, we want to call in a description of that guy."

"Good idea," Becky replied and closed the door, leaving the mess on the other side.

Willow made the call and they passed the phone between all of them to get an accurate description, and were promised someone would scour the area, which eased Tara's mind.

"Lucas, come help me pick movies," Willow said as the other two got the snacks and drinks out.

Becky put the popcorn in the microwave and sat on the floor with her back against the bedframe. She took the bulky headpiece off and stretched her legs out, but was watching Lucas and Willow carefully.

Tara was piling cans into her hand from the mini-fridge, and Becky beckoned her close when she came back over.

"I know she's not looking at him, but do you think he's looking at her?"

Tara looked over her shoulder where Lucas and Willow were pawing through her DVD collection.

"I don't think so."

"I wouldn't normally be so…" Becky replied, biting the corner of her lip, "Just when there's already history."

"I really don't think–" Tara was quick to reassure but Lucas spoke, or yelled over her.

"Dude, are you kidding me? Rocky Horror?"

All the worry immediately went from Becky's face. That 'dude' spoke volumes to her.

"Never mind," she said with a wave of her hand, "That's my man."

Tara wasn't sure what had happened, but was happy as long as Becky was. Lucas and Willow came back after a few minutes and sat beside their respective girlfriends'.

"Okay, we agreed to start with the alien babies, move onto The Wicker Man–" Willow started.

"The original 1973 version, _not_ the sucky remake with Nicolas Cage," Lucas interrupted.

"Right!" Willow agreed, nodding along, "Then slip in some Night of the Demon for good measure and finish with–"

"_Seven days_," Lucas added in, speaking in unison with Willow in a creepy child's voice, after which they both started laughing.

"Boys," Becky said with a playful roll of her eyes.

"Hey," Willow protested, pouting, "I'm not a boy."

"I can vouch for that," Tara added and once again found herself blushing.

Willow blushed too and Lucas smirked while Becky laughed again.

"Tara, you are on a roll tonight."

They all settled with a drink, a handful of candy each and a bowl of popcorn between each couple.

"Are they really scary?" Tara asked when the opening credits started, voice nervous.

"I'll hold you, don't worry," Willow reassured quickly, scooting close to her and taking her hand.

Not one to be shown up, Lucas tried to stretch his arm over Becky's shoulders.

"Yeah, babe I got–"

"Yeah, because you're so intimidating in that dress," Becky cut him off with a snort.

"It's a tunic!" Lucas replied, huffing his chest out.

"Shush, it's starting," Willow interrupted, hand already deep in popcorn.

Tara only lasted minutes before her head was buried into Willow's neck, shielding her eyes from the screen. She stayed like that for most of the night, finally falling asleep during Night of the Demon.

Lucas was the next to drift off near the beginning of The Ring, head tilted back onto the bed and arm still around Becky. Neither Willow nor Becky noticed their slumbering significant others and followed them into sleep before the movie was over.

Tara woke with a start at the sound of a shrill scream and almost leapt out of her skin from the fright. After a moment of gathering herself, she realised she was still on the floor and the scream had come from the television.

She was quick to turn it off and flip the lights on, though was surprised when no one else woke up.

Becky and Lucas were slumped over each other on against the bed and Willow was sprawled on the floor now that Tara wasn't there for her to rest on. The floor was littered with empty cans and candy packets, so Tara did a quick and quiet clean-up until the floor was as clean as it was when they had left for the fair earlier.

Once that was done, she regarded the others again and decided to just let them sleep. She got the spare blanket from the closet and covered Lucas and Becky, then got herself under Willow and lifted her slowly into the bed.

Willow started to stir, but Tara calmed her with a kiss and covered her up again when she settled.

She went to brush her teeth and changed into some pyjamas, then gratefully crawled in beside Willow and nestled herself under her girlfriend's chin.

She fell asleep for the second time that night, beside the only person she ever wanted to.


	46. Chapter 46

**gimpy72 **– I think this was a turning moment for her/them in that regard…she may get annoyed at other people looking in, but she won't doubt it on Tara's side, which is a big step. Tara and Becky are definitely becoming the friends we see them as in the future!

**Willara4ever** – She got to make up with Willow [which we all know is the best part ;)] and snuggle into her all night, which is something at least. I'm glad Lucas is redeeming himself a little. Glad you're enjoying it :)

**StephenPG – **What can I say, she just comes to me with these wonderful ideas. And yeah, it's about time she really took a look at herself! I like the Flintstones but that Nathan guy ruined them.

* * *

Willow's fingers slid deftly across the familiar keyboard surface of her laptop, putting the finishing touches on the paper she'd stayed in all morning to write.

She particularly hated Wednesdays; not just because it was often the day she ended up catching up on papers and assignments, but also because it was Tara's jam-packed day and she only got to see her for a quick snuggle at night.

She finished off one of her psych papers and started on a chemistry write-up when she heard first the wiggle of the door knob, then looked up to see it open.

"Tara," she greeted, tone laced with affection as she went to stand and embrace her girlfriend, though stopped just short.

"Hey, you're all wet," she said, gesturing down to her girlfriend's clothes, which were sticking to her body, "And not the way I like."

Tara was shivering too much to speak and quickly made her way over to the closet, stripping as she found clean clothes to put on.

"It's raining."

Willow wanted to help but was distracted by watching Tara peel the clothes from her body.

"Why didn't you, uh… wait inside until it passed?"

"We had class outside," Tara replied with a slight chatter, glancing outside where the rain was still thundering down, a stark contrast to the sunny, blue sky her sociology professor had originally brought them out into, "We were in the middle of the quad, here was as close as anywhere."

"Outside?" Willow asked, glancing out the window too, "In this weather?"

"It was sunny earlier," Tara replied, drying her legs quickly with a towel before getting a new pair of warm panties on.

"Wait, you should have a shower and warm up," Willow said, hopeful she might be able to jump in and help with the 'rewarming'.

Tara had her back turned so missed the look on Willow's face.

"I have my next class in 10 minutes, I have to run."

Willow was disappointed but was more worried about Tara going out in that weather again.

"Your hair is all wet."

Tara sighed, the chill still deep in her spine.

"I know I don't look too hot but I really have to go."

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry," Willow replied, coming over and grabbing something from the closet to hand to her girlfriend, "At least bring a rain jacket."

Tara took it and slipped it over her shoulders, then grabbed her satchel again and ran out the door with a quick wave.

"Bye."

* * *

Willow lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She'd finished all the homework she could, and read over all the chapters they had covered in class until she gave up the pretence of busying herself and decided to just wait for Tara.

_It's not bad to just want to see her. Not like I'm co-dependant or anything. I **can** be without her, but who the hell would want to? She's Tara._

She turned the TV on and found a re-run of an old comedy she liked. She lost some minutes enjoying that until the familiar and welcome sound of the door opening disturbed her.

"Tara," she said, as warmly as earlier, but didn't get the same back as she was used to.

Even on her longest days, Tara always had a smile for her.

Though normally on those days, Tara wasn't once again drenched to the core and shivering.

"Where's your jacket?!" Willow asked, grabbing the towel from earlier and rushing over to dry her off.

"I passed a homeless lady, gave her my jacket and granola bars," Tara answered, grateful for the help as her fingers were too numb to undress herself, "Wanted to get her something warm but the cafeteria was closed."

"Tara," Willow replied with an affectionately chastising tone, "That good heart of you is going to get you in trouble someday."

She got Tara's soaked clothes off and left them in the bathroom to dry, bringing her back a robe to put around her. Tara tied it at the waist and immediately moved over to the desk, despite her hands still shaking too much to hold a pencil.

"I need to get on with some work."

"You're freezing," Willow replied, standing between her and the desk, "Tara, take a few minutes at least, come and warm up. Have you even eaten? I can make you some toast and a cup of tea. We have those camomile ones you like."

Tara knew she had a pile of work to complete, but was more than a little exhausted and was having hunger pains. The apple she'd grabbed at lunch time was only going so far.

"O-okay. Thanks."

Willow got some bread from the stash and buttered up a couple of slices once toasted. She made the tea while they browned, then brought them over to Tara who was sitting on the bed. She sat by her feet and started to rub her calves to give her some heat.

"One of those days, huh?"

Tara blew gently over the tea to cool it, then took a long sip. The warm liquid sent a small shiver down her spine and she warmed her hands on the mug.

"Getting better."

Willow smiled and coaxed Tara's shoes from her to rub her feet.

"Missed you," she said, then was quiet for a minute as she contemplated something, "Am I too needy?"

Tara's brow gently creased and Willow shrugged while digging her thumbs into the soles of her girlfriend's feet.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm needy. Like missing you because I haven't seen you in three whole hours. Or getting excited when I know it's time for you to come home. Just…everything's brighter when you're around. And I miss it when you're not."

A slow smile spread on Tara's face and she pushed her back off the wall so she could lean over. She brushed her nose against Willow's, then pressed their lips together sweetly.

"That makes me feel very special."

Willow's smile lit up her face. She massaged Tara's ankles and up to her shins.

"Okay. Well, good. You are. Just don't want to be annoying."

Tara wiggled her toes against Willow.

"You're my favourite thing in the whole world."

That warmed Willow right to her core, though she could tell Tara wasn't feeling the heat. Though her voice was tinged with as much love as ever, it was scratchy and laced with exhaustion.

"God, Tara, you're still freezing. And you're pale as a ghost," she said, moving a hand up to cup a white cheek, "Is any of your work due tomorrow?"

Tara shook her head and nuzzled into Willow's hand for comfort.

"Can you take the night off?" Willow asked, concerned by the way Tara was slumped on the bed, "You've already burnt yourself out, you look so tired. I'll help you catch up tomorrow, however I can."

Tara glanced over at the desk, where some of her books were already lying in wait for her. The thought of needing to concentrate on anything filled her with dread, so she decided to accept the proposal and curled herself into a ball on the bed.

Willow understood the acceptance and jumped up to find the comfiest and fluffiest pyjamas she could. She handed them to Tara, who was grateful to change, and went off to get the spare blanket to put over her.

Tara was already under the covers but welcomed the added warmth. She sniffled as Willow tucked her in and leaned up to press a kiss against her cheek.

"Thank you."

"You are so more than welcome," Willow replied, cupping Tara's cheek and kissing her nose, "Can I get you anything else? A book, some more tea?"

"A cuddle?" Tara asked, voice gruff and tired.

"Oh, you're in luck," Willow replied with a smile, "My girlfriend tells me I'm the best cuddler in the world."

She jumped in under the covers beside Tara and curled her front to her girlfriend's back.

"'Course I learned from her. Now _she's_ the real best. She knows just the right body-to-squeeze ratio."

Willow squeezed Tara gently and tangled their legs together, happy to find her girlfriend's feet had warmed up at least.

Tara held Willow's arm over her waist and closed her eyes, already starting to drift off now the dreadful cold was starting to leave her.

She could hear Willow rambling on behind her, but didn't think for a second of asking her to stop. She wasn't quite paying attention to what was said but Willow's voice soothed her.

Her nose was starting to feel funny, like the top was fizzing. It quickly came out in a sneeze.

"Oh, bless you," Willow said quickly, grabbing a tissue from the box on the nightstand, "Here you go."

"Thanks," Tara mumbled, wiping her nose, then folding the tissue up beside her.

Willow picked the remote up from where she'd dropped it earlier and offered it to Tara.

"Lady's choice."

Tara had just about enough energy to shake her head.

"I'm too tired. You choose."

Willow flicked for a few minutes until she found one of the cop shows she knew Tara liked.

Tara smiled at the gesture, but was getting ready for sleep again.

She was gone before the credits even begun.

* * *

Tara awoke to the feeling of a burning behind her eyelids. She cracked one eye open and closed it quickly again when the bright morning sun tried to blind her.

She tried to move her body away from the offending light, but found herself unable. She thought at first that Willow must have rolled on top of her during the night, but she could see a mess of red hair was lying beside her.

She tried to lift just her arm, but ached all over just by trying.

"Ow…"

She sniffled and found her nose quite blocked so found another tissue to wipe her nose. It was tender.

"Ow."

Willow started to stir and woke herself with a snore. That would normally make Tara laugh, but she was still feeling like something was sitting on her chest and her whole face was congested.

Willow did a wake-up shuffle, which ended with her throwing an arm around Tara's waist and leaning her head onto her girlfriend's chest.

"Mornin' gorgeous."

Tara tried to reply, but could only manage a groan-laden cough. Willow lifted her head and rubbed her eyes to wake herself up.

"Tara?" she asked, taking in Tara's ailing features, "Are you sick?"

She put the back of her hand to Tara's forehead.

"You're burning up," she said, touching each of Tara's cheeks to confirm, "Oh, honey…"

She went to kiss the bridge of Tara's nose but was pushed away.

"You'll catch it."

"I don't get sick, don't worry," Willow replied, tenderly fixing her lips between Tara's eyes, "Let me get you comfortable."

She rolled out of bed and started to prop up the pillows, but Tara was already trying to get out.

"I have to go to–"

Willow pushed her shoulders back down gently.

"No way, Tara, you can't go to class like this," she said, bringing the blanket up around her girlfriend, "We'll get you a note, don't worry. You need to rest."

She got on her knees and softly caressed Tara's face.

"My girlfriend-y foot is going down," she said firmly but affectionately but could tell Tara wasn't happy about having to stay in bed, "How about I go to each of your professors and explain that you won't be in today?"

Tara relaxed slightly.

"You'd do that?"

"'Course," Willow replied softly, stroking Tara's hair gently, "Go back to sleep, beautiful."

Tara figured she probably looked as good as she felt but appreciated the compliment anyway. Her eyes were already drooping, having never really woken up in the first place. She felt comforted in a way she hadn't in a long time as Willow tucked her in. She closed her eyes to let sleep take her away from aching joints and congestion.

* * *

Tara found herself waking once again, though less intrusively as before. She felt something warm against her stomach.

"Hey sleepyhead," Willow greeted, coming over from where she was sitting at the desk, "Class stuff is taken care of. Got you some of the soft tissues so your nose won't hurt as much, and put a hot water bottle in there with you. Oh and have some soup and saltines for you, hope you like chicken noodle."

Tara recognised the feel of the rubber heat against her abdomen and felt a rush of love at the way Willow had cared for her in her sleep. She opened her mouth to say something but the alarm clock on the nightstand caught her attention first.

"Hey, you should be in Chem Lab," she said, voice gravelly.

Willow shrugged.

"I blew it off."

Tara smiled for a moment, figuring she must have just got the times wrong or something.

"You wouldn't blow off a class if your head was on fire."

"My head, no," Willow replied, tenderly cupping the back of Tara's hair and stroking a hand down, "But your head…"

Tara felt the back of Willow's fingers brush off her cheek and without a second of warning, suddenly found herself bursting into tears.

Willow's mouth opened and closed like a fish for a moment, alarmed and confused to as the sudden outburst, but quickly snapped to attention and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

"Oh, Tara, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," she said, rocking Tara's head gently, "Is it the soup? 'Cause I can go back and get you some tomato or something. Please don't cry."

She rubbed circles on Tara's back and could only hear sniffling for a minute or two until a hiccupping voice spoke up behind hidden eyes.

"N-no one's ever taken care of me when I was sick before."

Willow held her breath for a few seconds so Tara wouldn't hear it catch, and let silent tears flow from her eyes. She discreetly wiped them against Tara's hair and cleared her throat to keep her voice steady.

"Well you don't have to worry about that any more. I'm gonna take care of you and I'm not going anywhere."

She held Tara as close as possible and tenderly kissed her neck until they both had regained some composure, then sat back and offered a smile.

"So the chicken noodle is okay?" she asked, getting a small laugh and a nod in return, "Okay, well here, try some, you only had some toast last night, your tummy needs something."

She stood and picked up a red tray that was lying next to the desk, arranging the soup and saltines on it.

"Is that a cafeteria tray?" Tara asked, recognising the patterned plastic.

"Shush, don't tell anyone," Willow replied with a grin, setting the tray on Tara's lap, "I had to double-team with Becky as the distraction. You don't even wanna know how she did it."

Tara giggled and sniffled, then picked up the spoon to stir her soup.

"Thanks. This looks good."

Willow sat cross-legged on the bed.

"You sound so cute all bunged up," she said, smiling to herself, though quickly added on, "Not that I want you to be sick or anything."

Tara blew on the spoonful of soup to cool it, then drank it gently. She finished about half before she was full and Willow took the tray away again.

"Try and sleep, baby," she encouraged, putting the lid on the soup for later, "That's what they say, right, sleep it off?"

Tara held the blankets up around her neck.

"Have you really never been sick?"

Willow set the electric kettle on to refill the hot water bottle.

"Nope. My parents never gave me much attention but I guess a rockin' immune system makes up for it."

She filled the hot water bottle up and tucked it back under the covers. Tara caught her hand on the way back.

"You can go to class, I'll be okay. I'll just be sleeping."

Willow bent down again so they were face to face.

"I wanna be here in case you need something."

"You're so sweet," Tara replied, feeling warmed from more than the hot water bottle, "Whoever has you is the luckiest girl in the world."

"Girl?" Willow asked, smiling softly, "Pretty big assumption there, missy."

She leaned over and placed the softest of kisses against Tara's lips; only lingering for a second, knowing her girlfriend was struggling to breathe right.

"Besides, the person I'm with is all woman."

She nuzzled their noses and started to tuck Tara in again.

"Close your eyes, cutie-pie."

Tara obliged and scooted around for a moment as she got comfortable. Willow got up and got one of her textbooks, then carefully sat on the other side of the bed to study while Tara slept.

Another while passed before Tara woke again, this time by soft snoring beside her. She gently picked the open book away from Willow's face and left it on the nightstand.

She settled back down without too much movement so as not to disturb Willow but wasn't quiet enough. Willow's lips smacked lightly together, then she opened her eyes which settled on Tara.

"Hey pretty lady," she said, seeing Tara as beautiful as ever, "How are you feeling?"

"Little better," Tara replied, stretching her arms gently, "Rested."

"Good," Willow replied, pleased, "You still sound all cute'n'snuffly."

Tara wiped her nose against a tissue.

"I'm sorry I cried on you earlier."

Willow shook her head.

"Don't be sorry, it's okay. Hate to see you upset, but glad I can be there for a hug."

Tara's eyes closed and when they opened again were glassy with unshed tears.

"You don't know how much it means to have someone there for you… through the good and the bad. Just to know…" she trailed off, getting choked, "Just to know someone's always there for a hug."

Willow reached out to touch Tara's cheek.

"I know exactly."

She started to move over to embrace her girlfriend but Tara tried to move away.

"I don't want to–"

"If you're gonna contaminate me, you would have already," Willow cut her off, bringing her in for a squeeze.

Tara rested her chin over Willow's shoulder and turned her head to press a soft kiss against her girlfriend's ear. Her pale cheeks flushed as she began to whisper.

"When I'm feeling better, I'm going to let you do anything you want to me."

Tara was talking so softly that Willow couldn't even detect the cold in her voice, though the words were the more intriguing aspect of her statement. Her head moved back far enough that they were looking at each other, though was stumbling over air to try and speak.

"Spicy talk, huh?" she asked eventually, her voice harbouring a nervous lilt, "Yup, sounds, um, good, great, all kinds of wonderful, yep…"

Tara blushed a little more and offered her 'Willow-smile'. Willow thought her heart might pound straight out of her chest and had to take a few small breaths to calm down.

"So…crazy weather out there, huh?"

Tara giggled, which turned into a cough, but it settled quickly as she snuggled in under Willow's chin.

"Wanna know what I had a dream about?"

"Sure," Willow replied, thoughts still on what was said before and how she might take her payment.

Tara let a finger follow the neckline of Willow's shirt, moving around in a semi-circle shape.

"It was kind of funny at first, you were bumbling about getting things for a cold, blankets and stuff, and I thought I was sick. But then it kept going on and you were bringing everything to a little girl."

Willow was brought to attention as those words registered.

"…a little girl?"

Tara nodded against Willow's chest.

"I think she was ours."

Willow felt her heart lift in her chest.

"Our little girl?" she asked, voice elated, though it suddenly turned sombre, "Sometimes I'm scared…to think like that."

Tara lifted her head, but found it too heavy, so rested it back on the pillow beside Willow.

"About kids?"

Willow blushed; she hadn't quite meant to voice that last thought.

"Well, um, a little. Gotta admit, never wanted them before, but you've definitely pulled me onto that train. But sometimes I get scared thinking about things like kids and, you know, marriage and stuff."

Tara wiped her nose with a tissue, soft sniffles interjecting into the conversation every so often.

"I-I'm not expecting–"

Willow held up a hand to stop her.

"_Not_ because I don't want it. Because I want it so much I'm afraid to really believe it," she explained, now toying with her fingers nervously, "I want that life with you. That's all I want. But anytime I let myself daydream a little I hear my mother's voice rattling through my head; 'college romances don't last', 'this is your first relationship, this is _her_ first relationship, maybe she wants more', 'get a grip, Willow, you're not even together a year yet'."

"Pretty loud huh?" Tara asked sympathetically.

Willow exhaled slowly.

"Like you wouldn't believe."

Tara put her hand over one of Willow's to stop her fidgeting.

"What does your voice say?"

Willow was silent in contemplation for a moment.

"My voice says that I love you," she answered easily, then slowly smiled, "And that if I want to daydream about white dresses and lullabies, then I will. And that, screw you, Mom, for being in my head when you're not even in my life. Why do I let her do that?"

Tara shrugged one shoulder softly.

"Maybe you're using your mother's voice as a mask for your own worries."

"Oh no, what's that thing you say? 'Don't psych me'. Yeah, I can see how that's annoying," Willow replied, blowing a piece of hair away from her brow, "I guess those things do worry me. If my classes have taught me anything, it's that there's a hundred and fifty million ways for you to be screwed up or screw someone else up."

"Well if the odds are already stacked against us…" Tara replied, turning Willow's hand in hers and linking their fingers, "I guess all we can do is hold hands and muddle our way through."

Willow closed her eyes and let that belief run through her. She pecked Tara's cheek quickly.

"You have flu-brain and you're still the most insightful person I know."

Tara shuffled closer, both to be intimate and to lessen the chill she could feel running through her spine.

"I don't know what's going to happen in five or ten or fifty years. But I know I want it to be with you. No matter how wacky or screwed up."

Willow saw Tara start to shiver slightly and wrapped her up tight in the blankets.

"I'm sorry, dragging you into a deep and meaningful when you're feeling blech-y."

Tara kept their hands tight.

"I have a stuffy nose, not a stuffy heart. You can always talk to me."

Willow was happy to snuggle under the covers with Tara. She didn't know how they'd managed to form the bond they had under the pressures and obstacles that had been thrown into both of their short lives, but she knew one thing know – they'd get through the rest of what was thrown at them together.

She put her arms around Tara and held her aching body with all the love and tenderness she had.

"Love you, Tara."

She closed her eyes and let herself imagine sliding a perfectly shiny ring onto Tara's finger.

The only voice in her head was Tara's saying 'I do'.


	47. Chapter 47

**Queenphoenix08** – Glad you enjoyed it :)

**gimpy72** – I think we all would like a Willow-nurse, but alas I think Tara would object :P Oh and I'm with ya with the mom stuff!

**hannah2000105 **– Aww, thank you, you're very kind! :D

**Willara4ever** – I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, Tara has 4 instances of being sick before Hacker (as it says in that fic), and this was around the time the first one fell. And I left the 'distraction' purposely vague but I have no doubt it involved her womanly wiles!

**Dirty Tube Socks** – I gave up on Glee early in the season and Grey's over the last few episodes (life would be so much easier if shipping didn't exist) so I'm looking for shows to distract me now that summer is here!

I think Becky fancies herself a bit of an Egyptian Princess, so yup, Anthony and Cleopatra!

I've actually never seen One Tree Hill.

I totally get why you feel iffy about it, because I've talked to more people about it. See, Willow's thought process is basically my thought process, and I always thought that was kinda normal because it was all I knew, but now I get the differences. However, Willow is still true to her word and appreciates you accepting it about her :)

I'm guessing he drugs a lot of directors. Or something.

I guess there is a friend zone-y aspect to it, although I think all of Lucas's attraction to Willow was burst with the massive humiliation he suffered :P

Google language tools isn't the greatest translator, but I think I get the gist ;)

Tara peered out between a small crack in the curtains, to the theatre on the other side, which was slowly filling with people.

"I'm a little nervous."

Willow was sitting behind her on the floor, legs stretched out, leaning back on her arms.

"Why? You'll do great."

Tara shrugged one shoulder.

"I hate running that scene. I keep thinking about…"

Willow scowled.

"Not something I really want to hear; you're thinking about Mia."

Tara closed the curtains again and sighed.

"Thinking how stupid I was, not… her."

Willow scoffed.

"Well you're not the stupid one. Word on the street is she messed up her whole core class load to take on ours and has some serious make-up classes to attend. She definitely won't have time to take on a new show, if she's even offered one. She's not in the theatre department's good books right now."

Tara crossed her arms over her chest.

"Who told you that?"

"People talk," Willow replied, idly playing with a loose thread from the end of the heavy curtains, "I didn't mention it 'cause I figured you just wanted to forget."

"I do," Tara replied promptly, then shook her head, "I hope she can get it all done before graduating next year."

Willow's eyebrow quirked. Tara gave a soft shrug.

"She needs her ego taken down a peg or two but she doesn't deserve her entire college career ruined."

"Stop being so nice, she's a bitch of the highest order and she deserves everything she gets," Willow spat.

"Okay, okay," Tara replied, in no mood for an argument, "I have better things to worry about."

Willow could see the faint worry-lines on Tara's perfectly made-up face.

They had been in the theatre all day, first for a dress rehearsal in the morning and then to prepare themselves and the stage for the main show that evening.

Willow had helped with moving sets and had watched the lighting people for a while, interested in the mechanics, before being assigned the role of official rope-puller. There had been so many extra stage crew that almost everyone had been assigned something as tediously-specific to attend to, but Willow didn't mind – it got her out of moving sets mid-show and inevitably tripping over something.

This left her alone in a secluded corner between the front and back curtains. She was given strict instructions not to touch the rope for the back curtain so people backstage could run around as needed, though Willow had been cut-off from anyone else until Tara had popped her head in and found her.

"You think you have stress?" she asked, hoping for a smile, "I have to pull this curtain at the _exact_ right moment. The whole play could make or break on the tug of my hand."

Tara smiled, but was clearly still nervous.

"You only have to be on stage for your one scene," Willow tried to reassure, reaching up and linking their fingers, "You can come back and help me with my hand tugging."

She saw Tara blush and stood up beside her.

"Your hair looks so good like that."

Tara's hair had been put into a delicate-looking 40's pincurl-updo and had an orange and black hat perched on the side. Her dress was similarly coloured but embossed with sequins, and tighter than Willow had ever seen her in.

"Don't get used to it, I don't think I have the patience for it," Tara replied, keeping her head as still as possible so as not to disturb it, "It took two hours this afternoon."

"Well, it's pretty," Willow said, hand moving out to touch, "So is that hat."

Tara grabbed her hand before it connected.

"Don't touch it. It took another hour to get it placed."

"Jeez, don't, don't, don't, I feel like I'm with my nanny again," Willow whined, then took a step closer, "What would you do if I tried to kiss you?"

Tara held up a hand between them.

"Lipstick," she said and saw Willow about to whine again, "After. Promise."

Willow threw herself on the ground like a petulant child, rope in hand.

"Up, down, up, down. All I'm good for."

"Don't be like that, you know I want to," Tara replied, kneeling down, which was no easy feat in the dress.

Kneeling had the effect of pushing Tara's breasts up in the already-revealing dress. Willow's eyes were instinctively drawn there.

"Okay, forgiven."

Tara was too busy worrying to notice the downward-directed gaze.

"Thanks."

Willow wondered how she might get Tara to turn and see how the dress hugged her rear, but the lighting suddenly dimmed before she had a chance.

Tara stood and started to smooth on out her dress.

"Will you sit with me when your scene is over? I'm all alone back here," Willow asked, recognising she was about to leave to prepare for the opening act, though was eyeing Tara's legs now; slowly up and down, "Trapped between the red velvet…"

"Sure," Tara replied, exhaling some slow breaths as she slipped past the back curtain to the hustle and bustle of backstage, "Good luck with the pulling, you'll do great."

Willow smiled at the vote of confidence even for such a menial task and waited for her cue to pull the curtain for the first scene.

She only had a limited view of the stage from where she was holed up but had enough of an eye-line to finally get that glimpse of Tara's butt when she walked out.

Her breath caught and she had to stop herself from leaning closer and popping out the other side of the curtain.

She'd been quite eager to see how Tara acted through the scene when it was for real, but was busy watching how the heels she was in made her legs stretch even longer than usual.

_Wonder if she'd wear those more often…not that her combat boots aren't cool…bitch to get off though…_

Before she knew it Tara was prancing off stage with the others in her scene. She pouted that her wonderful view was gone, but it was only another minute until a head poked through the curtain from behind.

"Boo."

Willow smiled and covered her mouth to stop the giggle, then held a finger against her lip and whispered.

"We have to be really quiet."

Tara nodded and quietly got to her knees, then sat cross legged beside Willow. She was a lot more at ease now her contribution to the evening was over.

"You did great," Willow whispered, leaning over to peck Tara's cheek.

Tara blushed, though it was hidden in the dim light, and smiled. She took Willow's hand and squeezed to say 'thank you'.

Neither talked too much, afraid of getting too loud and giving themselves away, but did start to play with each other's hands.

It started with playful tickling, which turned into gentle arm caresses, and lips got involved soon after.

Willow was completely distracted from her rope-pulling duties, only focused on them tucked away in their little corner, but the show was on-going and didn't need much input from her.

The bulky curtain, however, was getting under them and Willow had to pull away from Tara when she felt the tug of it again, worried too much pressure would yank it right from the hooks.

She quietly pushed it away from them then brought her mouth right up to Tara's ear.

"Wanna sneak off somewhere?"

Tara's eyes went wide.

"We can't!"

"Why not?" Willow asked, running her thumb over Tara's bottom lip.

Tara made a questionable motion with her hand, which made Willow's eyebrow rise.

"Rope pulling," Tara explained off the look, with a blush.

Willow shrugged; they'd been back there long enough without her being needed, and she knew it was only a token role anyway.

"This thing drags on for ages, you know it does," she whispered, leaning in close again, "Bet I can convince you…"

She put her lips against Tara's ear and just barely moved them. She felt Tara shudder through her spine.

"Willow, there's 30 people backstage… we can't just… sneak off…"

Willow had been teasing at first, but the more her arousal levels went up, the further her sensibility went.

"Come on, come with me."

Tara could still feel that shudder at the base of her spine and wordlessly stood up. Willow poked her head out of the back curtain, and once determining the coast was clear, quickly dashed to the nearby women's bathroom, tugging Tara behind her.

The bathroom was small, housing just two stalls and sink area. It was empty but bore the signs of numerous women having been through; discarded tissues blotted with lipstick strewn about, glitter adorning the floor and counter around the sink, almost empty lotion bottles leaking near the taps.

Tara went over and started to nervously clean the area around the sink. Willow watched her for a moment, then pushed the lock closed on the door and snuck up behind Tara.

"This is hugging your curves in _all_ the right places," she said, hands moving down Tara's sides to her hips.

Tara's ankles turned in gently as her legs squeezed together.

"W-We should go back out."

"You don't like being here?" Willow asked in her most seductive tone, hand on Tara's mid-thigh where the dress cut off, "Alone?"

Tara's hand were gripping the counter and her knuckles turned whiter as Willow suddenly reached under her dress and yanked her panties down.

"Oh… my," Tara breathed raspily, tilting forwards towards the sink.

Willow dragged her hand up Tara's leg to her thigh again. She pulled gently so the air would hit against Tara's sensitive skin. She noticed the pads of her fingers were dampened.

"You're wet," she whispered into Tara's ear.

Tara flushed and tried to spread her legs under the resistance of the tight dress. Willow felt it and suddenly found herself very 'damp' as well. She moved her hand from Tara's thigh and turned her, then lifted her girlfriend's hips the few inches to where she could sit on the counter.

She pushed her palms up Tara's thighs and under her dress again.

"Do you want me?"

Tara nodded, still flushed.

"Yes…so much…"

Willow turned her head into Tara's neck and started to nibble while her hand pushed through the tight space between her girlfriend's thighs.

Tara spread them as accommodatingly possible as she could. Her knuckles were turning white again.

Her legs swung idly back and forth off the counter, but they suddenly jerked when Willow's fingers slid between her folds and found her clit.

She was already twitching; eyes moving between closed in ecstasy and darting to the door she didn't know was locked.

The rush of adrenaline and arousal from being in such a position was doing things for her a lot quicker than they normally would.

Willow found the challenge of trying to apply fast and firm friction to Tara's clit through her clenched thighs oddly arousing. Her mouth showed it as she got more aggressive on Tara's neck.

She could hear sounds straining out of Tara's mouth as her girlfriend bit down on her lip to keep herself silent. She moved her mouth over Tara's to help with the voice suppression.

Tara welcomed the wiggle of Willow's tongue with hers. Her thighs were trembling on top of the cool ceramic and her abdomen was taut with a fiery surge. Her knees turned in at Willow's hips, then suddenly shot out straight as the swell of pleasure broke inside her.

She lifted off the counter for a half-second from the intensity, and continued to shake around Willow's hand.

Willow slowed the kiss to a gentle lip-press and soft nibble, while her fingers softly scooped the warmth around them up.

She pulled her hand out from under Tara's dress and was lifting it up to taste, when there was quite an audible sound of applause resounding all the way through the door.

Tara was still speechless, mouth slightly agape, but Willow had enough sense to realise what it was.

"Intermission! I forgot intermission!"

She stuffed her hands in her pockets and ran out the door like she was being chased by a wild animal.

Tara saw the flash of red and blinked once, then jumped off the counter, suddenly aware of the people moving around outside.

"Crap!"

Willow was cutting past people and objects backstage to try and get to her post.

Despite appreciating the mass of curtains earlier when it acted like a make-out den, she was finding them quite frustrating now.

"Why are there so many curtains?!"

She finally found the rope, but someone had already done her job for her. She heard a loud throat-clearing behind her.

"Willow, there you are!" the professor said, hands on hips and looking down at Willow through her glasses perched at the end of her nose, with the string falling either side and around her neck, "Where on earth were you? I know you've dedicated your time to the sets, but that doesn't mean you can blow off your show-night responsibility. We can't just have the curtains left open at the end of the act."

"Very sorry," Willow replied, hoping her red cheeks couldn't be seen in the light, "Call of nature, you know, couldn't hold it, had a brain-lapse on the time. Won't happen again, I will stay right here until the end."

The professor sighed.

"Yes, see to it that you do," she said, far too busy with other imperfections of the evening to chastise Willow any longer, moving onto a boy trying to push a set piece by himself, "You, come here, come here. You need to lift the furniture, not drag it."

Willow let out a soft exhale that she seemed to have gotten away with no consequence, but decided she wouldn't let her hand leave the rope for the remainder of the show.

Tara came back into their hideaway a minute or two later, cheeks flushed and hair still sticking up slightly.

"Close one," she said, getting onto her knees and then sitting back, legs out in front of her.

"Sorry I just left you," Willow replied, tapping Tara's ankle affectionately, "I have to be like one of those guards at Buckingham Palace. Stand guard and don't move."

Tara pulled at the chest of her dress.

"I have to stay in this garb until the end of the show to bow in."

"I have to keep my hand on this rope," Willow countered playfully, though grew serious, "I really don't want to get a bad grade."

"I know, sweetie, you won't," Tara reassured, stretching back and twisting her neck.

Willow had particular affection for Tara's neck, so enjoyed watching her stretch it from side to side, though something else on show that shouldn't have been moved her attention away.

"Tara!" she hissed, "You're not wearing any panties!"

Tara's knees snapped together and she sat up straight. Her dress was far too short to get away with that kind of missing piece.

"You took them!"

Willow's eyes went wide.

"I dropped them."

"Where?" Tara asked, already standing and pulling her dress down as far as possible.

Willow gestured wildly with her hands.

"In the bathroom!"

Tara kept her hands tight around the hem of her skirt to keep it from riding up. She skidded into the bathroom, but someone else was already in there, applying and dabbing lipstick to their lips.

"Hey," the girl greeted, smiling through the mirror, "You did good."

"Thanks, Laila," Tara replied, eyes scanning the floor for her panties.

"Yeah. I never thanked you for giving up the lead," Laila continued, smacking her lips together now, "No idea why you did, but I'm so happy I got to take it over."

Tara nodded.

"Oh, well, um, great, that's great."

She finally saw a flash of pink cotton bunched up on the floor under the sink. Laila seemed to spot them at the same time.

"Some girls can be so disgusting, right? Who leaves their used panties on a public bathroom floor? They're probably soiled or something."

Tara grimaced but tried to hide it.

"Yeah, just…Gross. Ick."

Laila rolled her eyes at the panties, then did a quick straightening up in the mirror.

"Well, gotta get back out there," she said, smiling kindly at Tara as she left.

Tara waved, then rushed over to grab her panties as soon as the door shut. She went into the stall to put them back on in case anyone else came in, then went out to the mirror to check herself too.

Apart from flushed cheeks, she was presentable.

She came back out and sat with Willow again, who tried to peer between her legs.

"Panty check."

Tara turned a darker shade of red and pushed her knees together.

"I can't believe we did that in a bathroom."

Willow grinned, somewhat cockily.

"You must have liked it."

Tara's eyebrow quirked in confusion.

"You said in the bathrooms at the baseball ground," Willow explained, "'Maybe if it was a nice bathroom.' So you must have liked it. Was the tile nice?"

Tara dragged the front of her stiletto up and down Willow's shin seductively.

"I like you…"

Willow pouted.

"No fair, I love you."

Tara leaned in and turned her head, pressing her lips softly against Willow's. Willow responded softly at first, but pulled herself away when she felt her own tongue getting too wayward.

"Hey, no distract-y."

Tara sighed but was smiling.

"I should go, we're just going to get ourselves in trouble," she said, bumping her nose against Willow's and kissing her forehead as she stood, "Love you."

She felt Willow squeeze her leg as she walked through the curtain backstage. She didn't want to be in the way, so went into the changing rooms. Clothes were strewn everywhere and a group of boys and girls who had been doing the hair and make-up were sitting around chatting.

Tara started to leave, not wanting to intrude, but one of the boys waved her in with a smile.

"Hey Tara, I'll get you out of that hat so you don't have to wait around after. You finished your scene, right?"

"Oh, yes," Tara replied, approaching shyly, "Thank you, Joel."

He guided her into a chair and started to delicately untangle the intricate hat from Tara's hair. They chatted about another shared art class they were in until the hat was gone and Joel was just playing with Tara's hair.

"These are some of my best curls, if I do say so myself."

Tara shook her head very gently to see them sway.

"They're very bouncy."

Joel laughed and pulled one curl through his hand, then suddenly cocked Tara's head to the side and pointed at a darkened mark on her neck.

"Was this me? Did I burn you with the curler earlier?" he asked, Tara's eyes widening and lips pursing to stay quiet, "Why didn't you say something?"

Tara opened and closed her mouth for a moment.

"I-I must have been distracted?"

"Oh. Well, sorry. My bad," Joel replied, then took up a comb to perfect Tara's curls even more, "You've got great hair, you know that? It's so soft."

Tara smiled softly.

"You sound like my girlfriend."

"I wish I sounded like my girlfriend," Joel replied with a wry smile, "She thinks I use too much gel."

They continued to chat, joining the others after a while until people started to filter in, indicating the end of the show. The professor came around after, to organise everyone for their big bow.

They came on stage in groups, the actors first, then the stage crew and Willow was quick to make sure she was at the end of her line so she could join Tara in the side-lines.

Once the curtain had been finally pulled, right on cue this time, they were all gathered into the now-cramped changing room in a circle around the professor who was standing in the middle.

She had the same discerning look on her face as ever; expressionless, yet eerily penetrative.

"There were ups and there were downs. There were mistakes. There was mis-timing and mis-stepping," she spoke calming, putting fear in the eyes of many students before she finally cracked a rare smile, "But the show went on. And that is, after all, what this was all about."

The students all looked around in relief and gave each other congratulatory pats on the back. The professor nodded along, then clapped her hands together once.

"Production is 60% of your grade. You all get an A. Final exam is Friday. And well done."

She moved off gracefully and the smiles turned to hugs and high-fives all around. Tara shared in the congratulations with those she knew and had spent time with over the course of the class, then very gratefully disappeared into a stall to get out of the tight dress.

She tossed on the jeans and baggy hoody she'd brought with her to change into then brushed out the curls and tied her hair up into a messy bun. She came out of the cubicle with her satchel in her hand and walked back to Willow, who was smiling.

"What?" Tara asked, curious to the reason for the grin.

"You're just so pretty," Willow replied, tucking an errant piece of hair behind Tara's ear, "Some of the guys said they were going out for pizza. Wanna go?"

Tara nodded.

"Sure."

They waited around until most of the class were ready again, and they all headed out to a nearby pizza place. Willow got a large slice of pepperoni for herself and a mushroom and bell peppers for Tara, as well as a vanilla shake for them to share.

Tara picked up the slice from the paper plate as soon as Willow set it down, not even caring about the line of grease it left behind.

"This is so good, I'm starving."

Willow picked up the garlic shaker from the middle of the booth.

"You always gotta have an extra shake of garlic."

"I hope you're not planning on kissing me tonight," Tara replied playfully.

Willow leaned over and pecked Tara's lips.

"Stole one."

Tara smiled and scooted closer to Willow, thigh to thigh.

"What about you guys?" one of the other girls asked over to them a few minutes later.

"Sorry?" Willow asked, too busy eating her pizza to pay proper attention to the conversation.

"We were talking about moving onto the amateur dramatics class. Are you guys going on?" the girl, a stage crew member like Willow, asked.

Tara glanced at Willow, then shook her head.

"I… don't think so."

Willow nodded in agreement.

"Drama…not for us. We like the quiet life."

A few people in a far corner sniggered and a boy, who had played one of the male leads and was sure to let everyone know it, called over to Tara.

"So you're not really a screamer then?"

Tara turned bright red and started to slink down in her seat, though was quick to be defended.

"Asshole," Joel commented, sneering at the few over his pizza.

"I was kidding," the original instigator said, rolling his eyes.

"It's not funny," the stage-hand girl added on.

There were nods of agreement all around, and the sniggering bunch vacated themselves to another booth on the far side of the restaurant.

Tara's cheeks were still red, but she was appreciative of the support. She felt Willow's arm secure around her, and knew without looking, her girlfriend was sending dirty looks to the departed crowd.

Tara didn't want to dwell on what was said, and decided to distract Willow by slipping her shoe off discreetly under the table and playing with her foot.

Willow looked to Tara when she first felt it, then smiled and played back. Both of their moods brightened and they were able to enjoy the rest of the evening.

They said their goodbyes to their group early on, both tired from the long day and the various forms of excitement.

As they were walking back to campus, Willow noticed something was falling around them. She assumed it was starting to rain and went to put Tara's hood up for her, but stopped short when she realised it wasn't.

"Snow!"

Tara looked around and nodded.

"Yeah, looks like it."

Willow was jumping up and down on the spot.

"Snow! Snow!"

"I know, I see it," Tara replied, amused.

Willow suddenly ran ahead, dancing around under the still very-light snowfall.

"I've never been around for snow before!" she said, putting her hands out for the flakes to fall on them, "It all happened when I'd already left for winter break!"

Tara smiled at Willow's childlikeness, but had her own memories of snow.

"We had a lot of snow in Rochester, I liked it because–"

She suddenly stopped talking and Willow paused her antics.

"What?"

Tara shook her head.

"Nothing."

"You were going to say something," Willow pressed.

Tara smiled sadly.

_It was easier to make excuses for the bruises._

"Because I got snow days," she answered finally, not about to dampen Willow's experience.

"Oh, cool!" Willow replied, happily dancing around again, "Those sound fun!"

"Yeah," Tara replied, then cast those thoughts away, much happier with the new images of Willow frolicking around.

"Do you think it will snow all night?" Willow asked, looking up to the sky as if the snow might answer her itself.

Tara nodded.

"It might."

"I hope it does," Willow replied, twirling around in place, "This is so much fun. Try catching them on your tongue!"

Tara obliged and stuck her tongue, catching a few flakes on the tip.

"Did you get one, did you get one?" Willow asked, delighted that Tara was joining her in the fun.

"Uh huh but now my tongue is cold," Tara replied, wiggling her tongue and putting it back into her mouth.

Willow was quick to bounce over.

"Let me warm it up."

She planted her feet in front of Tara's and pressed their lips together, gently pulling on the strings of her girlfriend's hoody as she did so.

She felt all kinds of magic surround her, kissing under the starry, snowy night; like she was in one of the fairytales she'd loved to read and watch as a child.

She almost expected Tara to have turned into a cartoon when she opened her eyes, but was greeted with same shimmering blue eyes as always. She was happy about that – there wasn't anything she'd change about Tara, animated or not.

She took Tara's cheeks and kissed her again, deep and loving.

"I'll love you through all the seasons."

Tara nuzzled their noses together.

"And I'll love you through all the seasons of your heart."

Willow decided she must be in her own fairytale, and that it was a thousand times better than anything she'd ever read.

"Hail, rain or shine, there's only one thing I need – and that's you."


	48. Chapter 48

**Guest** – Thanks! :)

**Dirty Tube Socks** – You know what, I stuck with Grey's all through the last season and this one UNTIL the last few episodes. I don't even know why to be honest, because I enjoy the show more than I enjoy Callie/Arizona over the last few years, but I just can't bring myself to watch them. I'll hang on and hear how next season goes and then pick it up again.

I do watch Once! Everyone seems to adore Rumbelle, and I can totally see the appeal (plus I'm a huge Emilie de Ravin fan since Lost) but I actually don't ship anyone on the show. It's really refreshing to just enjoy a show and not be utterly heartbroken if the characters don't work out the way you want! Also, I get grumbly and mumble in annoyance whenever I hear Snow and Charming say 'I will always find you'. I love their wondrously cheesy love but dammit, get your own line!

I remember my friends being big fans when it was at the height of popularity, but luckily I was never forced to watch any!

I should just accept that I'm the weird one in future, since it usually turns out to be true. But yes, I think it's possible there's one or two weirdos like us out there!

I'm sure it was, it's the only thing that makes sense.

That's interesting, I would never think to use Bing. Although don't facebook use Bing as their translator? I've seen some crazy shit translated on there!

I'm with you on the germs! Luckily I'm able to put aside most of my neuroses when I'm writing otherwise they'd never have sex!

Good pick up! Thanks for letting me know, I fixed it :)

We hear what we want to hear. Tara wanted to protect Willow and Willow accepted it in that moment, though not consciously. BUT you totally twigged where I was going (patience is a virtue, you're too quick for me :P) (and I think Tara could be convinced to throw a snowball if challenged!)

* * *

Tara woke rather abruptly when she felt the bed start to shake quite violently underneath her.

"Tara! Tara! You were right!"

Tara's eyes were just opening but her hands were gripping the mattress.

"Are we having an earthquake?"

Willow ceased jumping on the bed and it stopped shaking straight away.

"No, no, it snowed!"

Tara let go of the sheet in relief and exhaled slowly. She didn't need to look at the clock to know it was still barely dawn.

"It was snowing when we went to sleep."

"But it kept snowing like you said it might and now there's LOTS!" Willow replied, giddily standing at the window to look outside, "It's white everywhere!"

"I'm sure it's very pretty," Tara replied, turning onto her side to go back asleep.

Willow bounced over and climbed on top of Tara.

"Let's play."

Tara wasn't entirely awake yet, but was alert enough to process that. She started to lean up to kiss her girlfriend, but Willow was off her again and throwing heavy clothes to her from the closet.

"Here, wear warm clothes."

Tara was confused why clothes were being thrown at her and not torn off her, until a sweater hit her in the face and she realised Willow meant playing in the snow. She was annoyed, but in that particular way that only Willow could illicit, where she'd still go along with whatever her girlfriend wanted.

She swung her legs off the bed and started to dress, rubbing her tired eyes between adorning each garment. She had barely pulled her boots on, when Willow grabbed her hand and pulled her through the silent hallway and outside.

The grass was covered with more than a foot of snow, and most trees and hedges were only peeking patches of green. Willow was looking around in awe, and Tara decided the brusque and cold awakening was worth it, just to see that look on her girlfriend's face.

She watched Willow familiarise herself with the feel of the snow, but wasn't quick enough to dodge a snowball when it came hurtling her way.

"Hey!"

Willow giggled and bent down to sculpt another one, but was surprised to feel a retaliating cold shot against her neck. It took her a second to get over the initial shock, but then grinned and worked the snow into a ball even faster.

"I'll get you for that, Maclay!"

Not even the early birds of school were walking around campus at that time, so they had a lot of open space all to themselves. They made use of the trees and bushes to hide behind and add to their fun, until Willow suddenly plopped right down on her butt in the middle of the snow.

"I wanna do that thing! Where you lie down and– snow angels! That's it!"

She fell back and spread her limbs, moving them back and forth like she'd seen people on TV do so often.

Tara was all too aware how icy the snow was, but wanted Willow to have the experience and sank down into the snow to make an angel with her.

Willow's smile spread from ear to ear as she stretched one arm out to lace their fingers together.

"You're freezing and you hate me right now, don't you?"

Tara wiggled her cold, clothed fingers against Willow's.

"The first one, yes," she said, picking up some snow with her other hand and sprinkling it over their conjoined ones, "Snow is fun with you."

"You said you loved snow days," Willow replied, smiling at the mini snowstorm.

Tara nodded quickly.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, I did."

Willow frowned, not liking the look on Tara's face.

"You don't seem so sure."

Tara looked up at the sky for a moment, then turned her head to Willow.

"Forget about it. I want new memories with you."

It hit Willow all at once all the possibilities of the 'old' memories. She opened her mouth to tell Tara she didn't have to hide things like that, but decided to let it go and appreciate the moment.

"Of course. I love you."

Tara squeezed their hands together and tilted herself over to bump their nose-shaped icicles off each other.

"I love you too."

Willow smiled softly and rolled over right on top of Tara, her bubble jacket adding a thick layer between them. She leaned right in to peck Tara's cold lips.

"Let me buy you a hot chocolate to warm you up?"

"Is the coffee shop even open?" Tara asked as Willow helped her stand again, grateful they were back to being happy again.

"Go find out?" Willow suggested and they walked, gloved hands linked, to the campus coffee shop.

They were just opening, the smell of coffee strong and only person behind the counter while the other took the chairs down from the tables.

Tara took a seat at one of the already-available tables while Willow ordered their hot chocolates and brought two steaming mugs down to them. Tara removed her gloves to warm her hands on the ceramic, then blew gently on the steam and took a long sip of cocoa.

"Mmm," she said softly as it warmed her belly, but sighed not long after, "So I guess we're splitting up today."

Willow pouted.

"Don't say it like that."

"Sorry," Tara replied, bumping Willow's shin with her foot by way of apology, but it was less affectionate than intended given how clunky her combat boots were.

"Not of the split-y, just of the break-y," Willow reasoned, "I'll take the library and you can take the room. It's the only way we'll get any study done for finals."

"Can we meet for dinner?" Tara asked.

"You betcha," Willow replied happily, "We should do that each evening. Dinner. We won't get much other time together…Ships in the night. Grabbing food whenever we can, shuffling between exams and studying. Too tired to fool around."

Tara's lips quirked up on one side.

"I didn't know ships fooled around."

Willow nodded matter-of-factly.

"Well, I guess technically they don't, but there's been cases of people who were attracted and had sex with them. Even 'married' one."

Tara nodded slowly and Willow shrugged.

"You learn a lot of crazy things when you major in psychology. Hmm, I wonder if that will come up on an exam…"

They finished their drinks and begrudgingly went back to their dorm to gather their textbooks and study aides for the day.

Willow was half-heartedly organising her books in her book bag but kept casting a glance out the window; even the thought of getting into the snow again not appealing to her if she had to be away from Tara all day.

"It's cold, I don't want to go out there again."

Tara looked over.

"That novelty wore off quick. I'll go."

"No, no," Willow replied quickly, "You were just sick. It's okay, I'm just being a baby."

Tara looked over at the alarm clock, which was brandishing an early time, even for them.

"Well, you know, we're up at least an hour before we probably would have been, why don't you stay and warm up for a little while first? You won't be missing out on any of the study you planned."

Willow perked up immediately.

"Warm up?"

Tara had her back turned but a slow grin still went across her face.

"Yeah…warm up."

Willow bounced over excitedly.

"…are we implying the same thing?"

Tara hid her grin and produced something as she faced Willow.

"Hot water bottle."

Willow's face fell.

"Oh. Yeah," she said, taking the offering less than enthusiastically, "Guess I'll fill it up."

She turned to put the kettle on, but Tara caught her by the waist from behind and pulled her back. Willow beamed and giggled, leaning back into her girlfriend's front.

"You're a tricky one, Maclay."

Tara opted for a non-verbal response and slipped her hand under Willow's shirt to caress her stomach. Her other hand pressed against Willow's thigh, but curled back almost straight away as the fabric was damp from their frolic in the snow.

"You're all wet."

"Can you feel me through my jeans?" Willow asked, embarrassed, then realised what Tara meant and blushed more, "Oh. Um, let me hang them up."

She peeled them from her and hung them off the back of the desk chair. then turned back to Tara, who had moved to sit on the bed; back against the wall and legs stretched out on the mattress.

"…should I put another pair on?" Willow asked, standing in her shirt and panties.

Tara lifted her hips ever so slightly off the bed.

"Why don't you take mine off instead?"

Willow all but leapt onto the bed and climbed on top of Tara.

"I love it when you're saucy."

Tara blushed, but smiled; she loved that she felt so at ease with herself. She took Willow's cheeks in her palms and pulled her in for a kiss.

Willow lay her body on top of Tara's and pulled her hip up. Tara's pants would only allow so much flexibility, so Willow was quick to dive on the button and yank them free.

Tara felt Willow's cold thigh hit hers and jumped.

"Hey, we're supposed to be warming up."

Willow placed her hands over each of Tara's knees and moved them up her thighs in a circular motion. The friction helped Tara's skin to lose the chill, but the warmth it caused in her belly was even better for heating her up.

Willow brushed over the corner of Tara's panties, then slid a hand over the fabric. She felt the bump through the material and rubbed gently.

Tara lifted her hips into the touch, but could only take so much with her panties keeping her from pure Willow-touch.

"Willow, take them off…they're going to get ruined."

Willow didn't think that was the real reason but saw an opportunity to tease.

"Why would they be ruined?"

She pressed her fingers right in, making the fabric slick. Tara's hips rolled into the touch.

"Because you're making me wet."

Willow watched Tara's arousal seep out and moisten her fingers.

"Yeah, I can feel that…"

Tara was too turned on and flushed already to redden any more. She pushed her hips up again to encourage their ridding, but when Willow didn't comply, she took matters into her own hands and reached down to push them over her knees.

She thought Willow would relieve her of the final tug, but instead watched as her shins were grabbed and held in place, stopping the further removal.

"Now you're trapped and all mine."

The touch was light and Tara knew nothing but playful, but it was agony none the less.

"No…"

Willow ran her hands up and down to Tara's calves and back.

"If you can get my clothes off without moving from that spot…I'll make your thighs my earmuffs."

Tara arched her neck right back against the pillow in frustration, though couldn't deny the tingles shooting through her. She took as deep a calming breath as she could, and straightened her back as she let it out.

The intensity of the look Willow received as Tara met her eye again made her breath catch and hands still. She could only watch, eyes glued, as Tara, with the barest of movement, began to unbutton her own sweater.

Tara had to shift quite a bit, but managed to maintain her grace as she wrestled the garment out from under her.

Willow watched Tara's breast strain against her bra and felt a palpable ache between her legs. She was so distracted by their soft curve and gentle bounce that she found herself caught off guard when Tara used some kind of cowgirl skill Willow was unaware of to hook the sweater around her neck and use each sleeve to pull her right on top.

"Whoa," Willow said, her own shirt riding up so their stomachs touched.

She stared into Tara's flamed eyes for a moment and let her hand travel from her girlfriend's hip and up her side, then reaching underneath to unclasp the bra. She pulled it off and cupped one of Tara's breasts, while her lips found the delicate patch of skin under her earlobe.

She felt Tara writhe, but had forgotten about their wager until she found herself suddenly topless. She felt Tara's feet trying to kick the panties past her knees, not even having felt them being moved down her legs.

Willow was about to laugh at the absurdity, but Tara proved quite skilled in the endeavour.

"Hey, that was some fancy footwork," she said when they were both divested of clothing.

Tara was quite breathless from the body contortions of undressing Willow without much movement, but was more than ready to claim her prize. She fixed Willow with a steady gaze, which turned into a sloped grin.

Willow felt her heart speed up and become more aroused; both only increasing when Tara lifted a finger and pointed firmly downward. Willow could only comply.

"Yes, ma'am."

She lavished Tara's body with kisses on her way down. Her hands followed her girlfriend's curves before finally gripping her thighs and pulling them apart.

She lay flat on her stomach and gently tugged Tara down until she was at her mouth. She pressed her lips to Tara's mound, then let her tongue poke between the top of her lips.

Tara gasped, her hips jerking in time, as the warmth wiggled against her sensitive skin. She rolled her hips into Willow's mouth and watched, aroused, as her girlfriend's head gently bobbed between her legs.

"Mmm…ah…oooh…"

Her nails were gently clawing at the sheet as Willow played with her clit and teased her opening. She felt herself ache inside and clenched to stave it off.

Willow appeared to feel the tension, as she ceased teasing and filled Tara with two long and strong fingers.

Tara moaned through her teeth and pushed down to take their length, almost smacking Willow's head with her thigh in the process.

Willow didn't seem to mind, but did take Tara's leg over her shoulder so they both didn't go tumbling off the bed.

She used her fingers to scoop Tara's arousal from her; letting it coat her lips, which in turn delicately took her girlfriend's clit between them.

She could almost feel the knot in Tara's stomach unravelling around her, and broke out her best moves to give Tara as intense an orgasm as she could.

She knew she was on the right track when Tara had to cover her mouth with the pillow and was all but kicking her with thrashing legs.

She loved Tara like that; unhinged and out of control, and her enjoyment showed in her efforts. She was working Tara like a finely tuned dial and making her come in the most explosive of ways.

The cold had long left Willow, surrounded now only by the molten heat of Tara's embrace and the heavy air around them.

She could feel Tara spasming around her; feeling hotter and tighter as the pillow struggled to insulate the noise.

Willow didn't care; she loved Tara the louder she was, but knew her girlfriend felt great embarrassment still from being labelled a 'screamer'. Still, it pleased her ears, and certain other areas, to hear her girlfriend's moans, and Tara reaped the benefits of the encouragement.

Tara couldn't bear the heat of the pillow anymore and flung it from her, off to the side again. She bit her lip as a back-up plan, though the pressure ready to break in her abdomen made her almost tear skin.

It took just a last look down at Willow's hair splayed on her thighs for the final swell to break. Her body shook quite gently in comparison to how she was before, the energy slowly leaving through her toes.

She knew she had some time to recover since Willow loved the 'clean-up' as much as the actual act, so took her time in letting her limbs relax and return to functioning again.

Willow's head popped up like a gopher a few minutes later, hair sticking to the front of her brow, while the back was mussed. She tried to flop down beside Tara, but ended up awkwardly arched over the tossed pillow. She pushed it out of the way and scooted over to share Tara's.

"Hey, good-lookin'."

Tara blushed and smiled, reaching out to wipe the hair from Willow's brow. Their noses were almost touching and bodies connected at shoulder–, hip– and ankle-level.

Tara let her hand fall from Willow's brow, to her ear and shoulder and then down her arm before gently falling off. She re-joined to follow the curve of Willow's buttocks, then took her girlfriend's cheek in her hand and turned on her side to pull their bodies flush together.

Willow's eyes fluttered closed. She could feel the sheen of Tara's body gliding against her and light caresses leaving her body in trembles.

Her mouth lightly parted, which Tara took as an offering and drew her girlfriend's bottom lip into her mouth.

Willow thought she might come just from the sensual suck-and-nibble. Her belly was burning with desire and tightened with frustration when it felt as if Tara cut off all contact.

She opened her eyes just in time to see Tara holding her own hand up to her mouth. Time slowed for her as she watched Tara's tongue slide over the tops of three of her fingers, then she was quickly brought back in time when those fingers were rubbing over her clit.

"Fu–"

Tara's lips were on hers again before she could even vocalise her surprise, kissing her with the same passion and frenzy of her hand moving below.

Willow let Tara own her through the kiss, only able to take in sharp breaths every few seconds; the quiet gasping sounds the only noise in the room.

Her eyes rolled back into her head; clit jumping under Tara's fevered touch and heart beating at the same erratic pace.

Her hands crossed behind Tara's neck, fingers sliding into her scalp and pushing their mouths closer together.

She pumped her hips into Tara's hand and came with a moan into her girlfriend's mouth. Their lips were just resting on each other now, each of their chests pushing into each other with the gentle heave of laboured breath.

Willow eventually had to extract herself to get a much needed sip of water, and turned back to Tara passed out, blanket half-on and half-off her chest.

"Well that was a way to kill an hour."

"Don't go," Tara mumbled, hand blinding searching for her, "Five minutes."

Willow took another swig of water and resumed her place with her head on Tara's pillow, bodies close enough to warm each other.

She was happy to lay in companionable silence for a lot more than the five designated minutes, idly stroking Tara's arm.

"I should really get there so I can get a table…" she said eventually, looking regretfully at the clock, but garnered no response, "Tara?"

A quick look determined Tara had fallen into a deep post-coital sleep; cheeks still pink and lips softly swollen.

Willow thought her the height of beauty and couldn't resist a soft lingering kiss to those lips. She silently removed herself from the bed and had a lightning-quick shower before dressing and checking her bag for her supplies again.

She set the alarm to give Tara a half hour's rest, kissed her cheek, and went off to do her study for the day.

* * *

"So guess what?"

Tara was tidying up the desk, having finished up her revision.

"What?"

"Hanukkah and Christmas are on the same day this year," Willow said, looking at the calendar hanging on the wall, "Well, technically Hanukkah starts, but you know what I mean."

"That's great," Tara replied with a smile, "I've never celebrated Hanukkah before, what do we do?"

Willow shrugged.

"We don't have to do anything. Honestly, I never did since I left home."

"What did you do at home?" Tara asked, interested.

"Um, well, when they were around we had dinner and lit the menorah, that was pretty much it. It was better when I was younger and my grandparents were around."

Tara gave Willow her full attention.

"What did you do with your grandparents?"

"Told stories, draw pictures, played games, that kind of thing," Willow replied, smiling softly, "Guess everything is better from a child's perspective."

Tara thought of a little Willow and smiled more.

"So there's Hanukkah games?"

Willow nodded keenly.

"Oh yeah, have you ever heard of dreidel?"

"Oh, yes, of course," Tara replied, then added on shyly, "Heard of. My father wasn't very receptive to other religions."

Willow embraced Tara from behind.

"Well, it's fun, I'll show you how to play!"

"Do you have a dreidel?" Tara asked.

Willow jumped up and down on the spot, excited to share the game with her girlfriend.

"I'll get one, I'll get one!"

Tara smiled at her girlfriend's enthusiasm, then went off to change into pyjamas. She noticed when she was finished that Willow was staring intently at a notepad in her hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Just writing it all down," Willow replied, pen scribbling across the page, "Wanna make sure I don't short-change your Hanukkah experience."

Tara smiled affectionately, then pointed to Willow's laptop.

"Can I use that?"

Willow looked up.

"My laptop? Sure," she replied, "Do you need me to do something for you?"

Tara shook her head.

"I know how to type things into that Google thing."

Willow copied Tara's smile.

"Okay."

She went back to noting everything she wanted to organise, and had a pretty good list going by the time Tara was finished with whatever she was doing and came over to get under the covers.

"I'm so tired," she said, stifling a yawn.

Willow left her notepad down and grinned.

"You were pretty tired when I left you this morning too."

Tara blushed and fluffed her pillow, smiling happily.

"You wore me out, I needed a rest."

Willow leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss against Tara's lips.

"Mind if I keep the light on?" she asked, wanting to wind down a little before sleep. Tara shook her head and kissed her quick again, "Night, love you."

Tara settled into sleep, warm and more than content. Willow took a seat at the desk and opened her laptop. The browser was closed, but when she opened it, it brought up all of the previous tabs. She hadn't intended to snoop, but they just popped up in front of her.

She was first surprised, then touched, to find they were all links from the very first tab, a search for 'History of Hanukkah'.

She looked over her shoulder to her sleeping girlfriend and closed her laptop again, deciding she very much needed to be cuddling into Tara right then. She tiptoed over and slid under the blanket, gathering Tara in her arms.

Tara nuzzled into her, but stayed asleep.

Willow relaxed by steadying her breathing with Tara's, and soon followed her into slumber.


	49. Note

**_Hey guys, really sorry to be posting this but there won't be an update this week. I've been sick and feeling too lousy to write. I'm waiting on some test results which hopefully will give me some treatment so I can get back to it!_ _I hate missing weeks, but I just have nothing to put up. _**

Thanks to everyone who's still hanging in on this fic with me!


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